My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Mae~ OMG~ I just lost an entire post. Oh geeze I really hate that! .....I am sorry that your friend had to feel that way. It truly sucks. Just like cancer does. She has to Know how wonderful and active you are always. You're always off here and there cooking, working, amazing! I wish none of us ever had to deal with any of this. Just plain speechless over how it effects so many good people that I care so much about. People two years ago I didn't even know yet, and would change my path and share it with me. That is what you all do here with and for me. That's a beautiful thing.
I wish your DH a quick recovery. Wearing the nurses hat I am sure will be something you'll comfort him with. Nothing like the love of a loved one when you're feeling badly. Hopefully he will Be up in no time.
I wanted Shannon to win also... Ross cracks me up. I agree with you on Arianda. Slick chick she is. I can't imagine how bad it would have been to be declared miss universe and then have him have the wrong darn envelope! Poor girl. She seems nice though. Couldn't believe it when she won HOH. I am a little behind! TwoDoctors appointments this week. Onc Tomorrow! Hooray! NOT! Glad you enjoyed your visit with your BFF! Hugs to you ~M~
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Grannax~ mine had a few other words mixed in the lingo. I just can’t belive they already called with the date. I just hope I’m strong enough. Any surgery scares me! I’ll be glad when it’s done I am sure. i have come so far. We all have. Wow Mae, you’re younger than I am I graduated in 1988 I was 18, I don’t know where the time has gone. I have already lost a lot of people I had gone to school with. Some to drugs, some to freak things, like sudden heart attacks. But seems more like drugs. So sad really young lives lost for what? I am going to talk to onc tomorrow about it again hopefully he won’t give me any crap! Hugs to you. Get that caddy out yet for a spin? ☺️ ~M~
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MJH~ Kinda speechless about the week you have had! I am sorry about the diabetes, that is just a complication no one needs in addition to all this crap. Sometimes I just don't understand any of this. It's like we walk around living like in that show. Wayward Pines, we are assigned our life and no matter what happens, it's all we get. We can never get beyond the wall of our cancer. Can never really ever leave it behind, it follows us around, like cancer is our Big brother always watching every move. We pretend to be ok and happy, don't really cause any problems, because we know there is only so much that can be done, and we are just stuck, stuck living, right alongside with slowly dying! I think the worst part is knowing that this very well may be thee strongest I ever am again!
In the midst of all you were going through, it sounds like you still had a good time. Sounds like you have a grasp on what to do, you seem like you weren't very surprised. I have often wanted to drop sugar and flour, but how do you do that, when there are cookies???? And cake? Yum! I wish you well as you navigate this, I'm sorry that you're going through all the insulin crap and I hope those numbers remain down again. Missed you around. Hugs my friend. ~M~. Yes I have quite a decision to make. I'm just a huge chicken sometimes, I have had so many surgeries. The thought of going into the hospital does NOT excite me in the least. 😓😨. I just don't know what to do! ~M~
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MJH, I missed your message. We must have been posting at the same time. I am sorry to hear that you now have type II diabetes. Do the docs think that it is related to your treatments or do they have no way of knowing. I hope things will be controlled soon so you can have the PET. Would you consider having a CT scan instead until things stabilize?
And Grannax, it is awful that the cost of Trulicity has gone up so much that it is out of reach for many people. It seems that the most expensive drugs are those that are featured in commercials and ads the most frequently. The marketers make the drugs seem appealing and the answer to prayers, but the costs are prohibitive.
Oops, there is Alice on tv now. She is the new version of Julie. She seems to own a yarn store and is shown adding skeins of yarn to bins, having lunch with someone ( husband perhaps), and knitting with a group of women in her shop. At the end she is sitting on a porch looking at photos with a friend. She is not shown running, as Julie does. She lives her "new normal."
Hugs and prayers, Lynne
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Lynne(50's) I really do want it done. But I really don't want more physical pain. It's like a bad dream I know I will end up happier when It's all said and done. I realize that now is the time to do it. I know when I look in the rear view mirror, I'll be glad to see two smaller hills then one ankle spanker!!! Thank you for your kind words. You really are such a joy to have here on the thread. Always kind and so thoughtful. I adore you! Just so you know. I kinda like your random thoughts. They help a lot of people, you may not realize, but they do 🤗❣️ Much love~M~
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Lynne~(50's) I have only seen the new ibrance commercial one tim. Maybe Julie pissed people off, some days maybe we can come close to Julie, but most days half way through the day, id be sleeping and drooling all over my pillow! Not teaching a room full of eager college students and bouncing up and down the stairs after sauntering out of bed with a smile and a bright beautiful sky and a jog with my DH and my dog. No stiffness, no joint issues. Rise and shine no problem at all. I do realize that there are some people that really do have some Julie in them, and I think they are amazing. It makes me think that I am lacking in someway that I am not able to be a Julie!!!! Maybe Alice and I will become friends! ~M~
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Good morning Ladies~. I did sleep, i drink so much water at night I am up three times to go to the bathroom. Am I the only one who falls asleep on the toilet ?? I swear one of these days I'm going to fall off of it. I've already dropped my coffee on the carpet! My dog whines me into a oblivion at 7:20 this am. I got about 6 mins longer today to sleep. Thanks dogs! I hate the thought of leaving them to go into the hospital. Two or three days, if I have a room mate I think I'll cry like real tears. I can't handle recovering with constant noise. I am Gathering up my ear plugs in bulk. I can't even have the television on to sleep. The only thing that helps me is an industrial sized fan. In which it systemically blows everything in its path around. That's the noise I need! DH snores so loudly I end up in another room. I can't just pick up and move to another room while in the hospital I just don't want a room mate. But then again, who does!?
Hope everyone is resting well. I have my Oncologist appointment today for a follow up. Already know blood work results, just getting refills and the regular crappy pink gown to show off my cray cray chest and the carnage left behind. He will most likely already know I want this done. He better NOT prevent anything. I m going to tell him. Unless I have pain, I'm not scanning. Now that I know what I am looking for in terms of how I feel. If my markers go up, that's different. Then I'll consider it. But those scans are like robbery. If someone only had Medicare they would be on the hook for the other 20% of the cost. Which could be thousands of dollars. It's such a rip off! It's our life and we have to pay to keep this disease in tow? What about the many many people who don't have proper insurance..... maybe that's why they get sick?. They can't go... they maybe go find out something is wrong but can go no further because of lack of insurance. If you have a running bill that never goes down, I don't know if that Onc May chose to not see you until the account is current. I don't believe someone's life is worth bargaining or pressuring someone to take away from their income to pay for something that you must have. Like medicines. Same thing. No insurance. No medicine. It's really so ridiculous! Maybe if people weren't so already in debt with medical bills, they could regularly get the examinations they need on time. Not three years after the cancer even starts. How do we know that? Unless we can see a doctor. Some many uninsured folks have a terrible time and the very same applies to dental work but even worse!!!! Something needs regulation to make sure children and adults are not afraid of a bill that would break your arm, just for trying to save your life. It's just wrong. Love to all ~M~
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along any of your ladies journey on these boards, has anyone seen or heard from Freya??? I haven't seen her at all and I am growing concerned. Keep your eyes out. Please. I just want her to know i have noticed and am worried about her. Thanks guys! ~M~
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micmel. You may not have time today, but whenever you do would you give me a summary of the sequence of events/surgeries/reasons that you've had?
I was wondering about your liver resection, was that to take out liver met? Also I don't remember how/why your lung doesn't work or when that happened. Does your lymphedema cause you much trouble with your arm? I know you're in pain a lot, where is your pain mostly? Your stable mets are in your bones, where spine?
I'm just interested. I know you've had a lot of surgery, who would want anymore? Not me either. I've lost count but I've been doing this for 25 years. You've had all this just in the last two years? Or was some of it prior to that? Just call me the question lady today. I know you have doc appointment today. I'll be praying all goes well.💞
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Happy Friday.
Lynne man I love that mini. I’ve always wanted to ride in one. They look like they have some pick up. Amazing that you have a crew to ride with. Sounds like fun times.
Mic the 3 days will fly by. I have no idea about reconstruction. 14 years ago it wasn’t even offered to me bc I think they wanted to wait to see if I even lived. I just never wanted to get voluntarily cut again. I had a partial mastectomy so I’m always lopsided. I used to be self conscious and now I don’t pay attention to it at all. I’m 60. My DH treats them the same lol.
50’s girl we are definitely on bonus. I just don’t want to waste any of it since we don’t know when that other shoe will drop. Some days I keep reminding myself to be productive, grateful and content.
Mae I thank you for sharing that doctor appt story. My oldest sister is coming to visit me next week and I have an appt with the infusion room blood work and faslodex shot so I’ll not invite her for that PTSD experience. It’s our reality and people don’t look at us like that. If they could see our insides and not only our outward experience they would all barf.
MJH I’m sorry about the sugar discovery. I think for all of us we have heard that we cannot eat sugar bc it feeds the cancer. Ugh and then we crave it. I hope you can get the perfect medicine for yourself. I’m happy you had your 70 degree aquarium day.
Waving at you Mag moving day will be exciting.
Minnie yes I can still walk without pain. I’m just finishing up physical therapy which has been really helpful. Left hip btw
Have a good weekend grannax blueshine runor and big anyone else I forgot.
Tanya
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Grannax~You're adorable. I don't even know where to begin honestly.
2009: tore out shoulder cavity and arm socket tubing down the Delaware river with my family. Saving my daughter from drowning. 2010: surgery to fix shoulder socket. Didn't help. 2011: surgery to fix torn rotator cuff... from same tubing incident just didn't find it until later.. 2012: Brachial plexus surgery to fix torn nerves causing unrelenting pain and damage from accident. Complication during surgery.... paralyzed Hemi Diaphragm my right lung. No longer inflates. Been that way since accident .... 2015 Jan. Early.. found lump. Was told it was a cyst. Twice. Two separate doctors. End of January 2016 diagnosed, first stage two for one week then after all tests kept coming in. Leaped to stage four. Found pencil head sized tumor in liver. So yes a liver met. Went through four rounds of heavy AC red devil chemo. Then surgery. June 22,2016. Liver resection, left mastectomy and full auxiliary mode removal (35) At one time. Recovered. Two weeks later. July 2016. Full hysterectomy! 9 rounds of Abraxane to NED. Then out of NED in November 2016, moved into bone only. Spine area multiple very small unmeasurable spots. On to ibrance... I also had the biopsy for the liver in March 2016 as well. Wasn't pleasant at all! Fast forward after terrible neuropathy and unrelentingly nerve pain that never went away even though I had a surgery. In 2015, I was knocked over in our neighborhood and any surgery for my nerve pain/arm was ruined and re injured and I wasn't a candidate for more surgery because of the lung. Now I am going to get the reconstructed Breast with my own tissue. My Onc just approved me. Said I was incredibly stable and my tumor markers are negative was glad to hear that! He said I am doing well. One more scan in May. Then... after that. Scan and seeing Onc every six months unless I feel the need of something different. Due to added pain and or problems. I have to come off ibrance for two weeks. He said it's fine and I am so stable. Have been so stable, he said I've seen you for two years now and this is the best I've seen you. You look great and you're strong. I think you should do it. I am so happy you're doing so great. It was a good appointment. The odd thing was. The nurse says oh you have a fever. I was like 😮😮what?? No way. I feel fine. Then she took it again and it was 100.9. I was shocked really, their office is like 100 degrees, I took the stairs instead of the elevator, and walked through the parking lot. Plus two heat flashes on the approach lol. I'm just hoping it goes down. I don't need to be sick. I need strength for this surgery. I am so pleased he was so supportive. He said the ibrance is working so of course No decrease in the doseage. But that's ok. He thinks lady ibrance loves me! I have to say I love her too. She's helping me so much. This is such a good day. I am thankful in many ways. I get this chance to fix something a little better!! I am also thankful for you all as well! Much love. Thanks for even caring Grannax! I have been through the ringer in the past two years, but haven’t we all, in our own ways??? Much love to all ~M~
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MJH-Boy, you really were busy! Our school vacation starts Monday. We plan on taking the grandkids skiing one day (I'll be the one in the lodge, LOL). I've been on Metformin for almost 6 years now, 1 pill twice a day. I was borderline diabetic for years before. It runs in my father's family. My grandmother, father, and 2 of his sisters had it. My father was on insulin though. I hope they can reschedule your PET scan soon. I had one, after my CT scan showed something, and I don't remember them asking me if I was diabetic, although, I'm sure it's in the chart. I didn't have to do anything different though. I'm glad you got to enjoy the aquarium (and the kids) in Boston. Love that place.
Lynne-This is the end of "hell week". It was a little better this week. The dropped the dose of Taxotere, but it still takes an hour as before. Still dizzy, but less so, same with the stomach issues. The eating is the hardest. I'll be better by Monday, like usual. I'll enjoy next week, then have to start the steroids (barely sleep for 6 days I'm on it) the following Tues before chemo that Fri. I get about a week and a half, that I feel normal! We have 11 people going on the Disney trip. My husband, myself, our 4 adult kids and son-in-law, the 3 grandkids, and my Mom (who's 80). We rented a 7 bedroom 7 bath house, that's 4 miles from Disney. It has a pool and hot tub as well. We will be renting 2 mini vans as well. We just bought our plane tickets and park tickets on Monday (YIKES!). We also booked a princess lunch in Epcot and a lunch at Chef Mickey's at the Contemporary (all the main characters will be there), yesterday. We're paying the rest on the house this week as well. I am only making our kids pay for their Disney tickets. I took out my 401k this year, and after paying for my cremation, plot, and headstone, I still have money left, and decided to have one last big family vacation, while I can still enjoy it. My parents took all 10 of their grandchildren to Disney (my Dad was a Disney nut!), and I wanted to do the same for the ones I have (I'm sure they'll be more, 2 of my kids don't have any). It will be exhausting but fun. That's what will be great having the 2 mini vans. If some want to go back to the house because they are tired, we can take one of the mini vans and go back, while the others stay. I did try the new portal. I don't like it as well as the old one. It lists the blood work, but it doesn't say if it's high or low, and doesn't list the normal range like the old one. Some of mine was missing as well. I go again next Fri for blood work, we'll see if it's any better then.
Mae-Good luck to your husband. I had an umbilical hernia repaired twice. I hope he heals quickly. My best friend always says she'll take me to my appointments, so my husband doesn't have to. I don't let her because I'm afraid that she'll have a meltdown too. I definitely would not allow her in the treatment area. She's a loud talker, and talks a lot. I don't want to disturb the others, plus I don't think she would do well back there. She has no idea what goes on back there. She's been with her mother to some appointments that they had to do stuff to her, and my friend did not handle it well. I'm so sorry your friend got upset. I'm glad you enjoyed her visit.
Micmel-Yes we go for rides once a month (except Jan and Feb) with fellow mini drivers. We spend the whole day on the road and have lunch together. We go on the back windy roads. It's fun and gets us out of the house. We also take rides on our motorcycle. My husband came home with a Harley trike in July. So we usually spend Sat in the mini, and Sunday on the trike. Our friends have a trike too, so we go with them most of the time. It's wonderful to be in the fresh air. I can't wait for the weather to get better. We did take the bike out Tues night when he got home from work. It was a short ride, but nice!
Tanya-My husband got the mini after I was rediagnosed and had sold my motorcycle. I told him now I need a red convertible. I was thinking maybe a volkswagon bug. He wanted a mini, so there you have it. He drives it like a race car though. It has a standard transmission (which I know how to drive, but he's the driver when we're together which is most of the time). It's a little hard for me to get in and out, because it's so low to the ground, but I love it!
I suppose I should shower (it's 1pm!). I hope all of you have a nice day! Hugs!
Lynne
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Thanks for the support, I’m happy to have anyone benefit from that experience. DH and I have been down this road for a year, I didn’t realize how it must be for someone new, someone looking at all the patients, thinking the worst.
Went with DH to his pre-op this morning, poor guy. He’s nervous and so crabby! Lol, I’m trying to be extra nice.
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Mae~I can imagine No one would enjoy having surgery. Is this something that is done inpatient or outpatient these days? I am thinking of you both. Hope it's a quick thing for you both.
I found out today that my DSF went in for what he thought was an X-ray of his shoulder, led to them finding a spot on his lung, the doctors said oh don't worry about that.... my DSF didn't stop there, he wanted to be sure and find out more. So he went to a lung doctor. They took a full panel of X-rays. Now apparently there appears to be two spot on his lung and.... One noted on the kidney. So here we go with ultra sounds and the entire work up!! Poor man is so wonderful. He is like 78 he still works and climbs ladders and helps my mother. Who really cannot walk because she refuses a hip replacement. So now. The real mess begins. If he has cancer my parents can't stay out In Mississippi without him being able to work. They are on a list here near me for an apartment facility for older aged folks. Who knows when that will kick in. They said could be a year. My DH is selling his home now. My surgery is end of March. And my DH today is visiting colleges with his DS to figure out where he is going to be going. Too much crap going on. I go back and forth with how I am feeling. I know I'll be happy I did it. But it's just the doing part that I stumble on. And over! My neck hurts today for some reason and why do I always feel shitty after I nap? Every single time. Headache. Just feeling nasty! Ugh I hate cancer. ~M~
Bigbhome 💜
Chelle♥️
Nan 💜
Blueshine~ hope you're doing good !
Divine~ thinking of your sister and hoping you're ok!
Runor~Hello dear. Waving hello!
The Lynne's ~ I'm ready for spring. So much!!
Lynnwood~ yucky few days on tap for our area! Hugs to you !
Leapfrog~ where are you dear. Worried!
MJH~ hi darling. Hope all is well! Sending a hello your way!
Grannax~ hope my novel didn't bore you lol
Minnie~ hi sweety. You'll be getting ready for bed soon. Hope your day was a good one.
Keetmom~ Concerned. Last time you weren't feeling so great. Hope all is well with both kids. And DH. Haven't seen you!?
JFL~ miss seeing you here! Waving hello!!
Whoever I missed I'll remember
Magda~ hope you're less stressed out today darling!
Tanya~ I think some days everyone gets pain. It's a chronic thing for me. It comes and goes. Ugh! Viscous circle it is!
Much love everyone! ~M~
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Micmel. Oh my goodness that history is so comlicated, I think ill have to read it several more times. It does really help me to hear all the before cancer injuries, failed surgeries you had . That put a different perspective on how scary this next part is. Once major complications have happened to you, it's not hard to think it could happen again.. I like your docs attitude. He's giving you a green flag. And another 2 weeks off of Ibrance? So one month to wait? You'll have lots of wedding stuff to keep you busy.💞
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Lol micmel, how do you keep track of us?! I imagine you with a spreadsheet, calendar and pencil behind your ear
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Agree with you illimae, don't know how Micmel keeps up with us all! Best wishes to your DH.
And yes Micmel, I'm in bed again. Nearly midnight.
Tanya, glad you can walk pain free . I'm suffering sciatic pain. My right leg shorter than left
Wishing all a relaxing and loving, peaceful weekend.
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Mae ~☺️😄😆 that really made me laugh out loud. Lol I will say my glasses are up on my head looking library like. LOL you made me smile. You always do. I guess I just don't want to miss anyone. I want everyone to know that I care about them, you guys are like my second family. I worry when I don't see you guys. When I'm in the hospital, someone will have To hold down the fort! I will certainly post when I can, even though I may not make any sense!
Grannax~I have had a lot of surgeries. Physical discomfort seems to be my pattern. My mom always told me “you're a hypochondriac". I was always saying how sick I felt and how my throat hurt and my eyes would water and I would have a tight chest, everyday! She never believed me. When I moved out, I was and adult and I had some allergy testing done, I was having asthma issues. Well... I wasnt a hypochondriac at all, I was allergic to cats, and we had 3, one slept in my room every night! The second allergen=Mold.... uh we lived in the woods MOM!!!! Lots of mold around! Basically I need to develop the condition called normalcy!!!! Trust me to remember my surgical history is like applying for loan. Followed by another addendum to add for my medication list. It's a wonder I'mNot a genius. Lol. It's the weekend!! DH is on his way up, hope traffic doesn't suck! Much love ~M~
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Minnie~ if only my school work was as good back then, I might own a company or two. Lol. I hope you sleep well darling. Hugs to you!! ~M~
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I was searching and searching for a photo of my dress that I wore on my wedding day. When you get divorced, sometimes those things aren't a priority to save well. I'm glad I did though, but only for the kids to have. It's history after all, their history. So I found one picture I will be able to get a full pic of the entire dress but this show some of the open back and how pretty the back was and the elegance of the dress itself. Time flys so fast. Now I'm divorced and with my DH happier than anyone could imagine... cancer or not! I hope everyone sleeps well I'm off to bed. Goodnight ladies! Hugs ~M~ I still can’t believe she wants to wear it. It is magnificent!!
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......she is going to borrow my BFFs tiara, as her something borrowed! The wedding dress is something old. Something new will be her new bridal shoes, something blue is a blue garter belt she will just wear under the dress! She wants tone downThe sleeves. I don't blame her. It's way more nineties style. But I am still just so honored she's choosing to wear it ! Goodnight again for real this time ! ~M~0 -
Oh gosh Micmel, is that you? You are beautiful!!!!
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lovely Micmel. Your daughter will be beautiful too x
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Micmel, such a beautiful bride! Your dress is gorgeous too!0
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Just wow, Micmel! That's one heck of a beautiful bridal portrait! Gorgeous!
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Gracie~ yes my sweet that is me, at 24 years old. I had a magnificent wedding and experience that my father did give me. It was fun, just with the wrong husband. Lol. I found two more pics and I wanted to show the beauty of the dress, thank you for your kind words. I miss that person. Cancer sent her away! But I know my daughter will look amazing and gorgeous!! Thanks again much love ~M~
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Minnie~ hi darling! Thank you so very much. I think she will be a lovely bride as well. The dress is really gorgeous I willpost a pic of the front in a little while. I was so young and care free then. Not worrying about cancer. Oh how time flys!! Hope you slept well. Much love~M~
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Lynnwood, I do like the pictures. I was looking at the album with my daughter. She found it. So that's good, she wanted it for ideas. I want her wedding to be more modern for her like she wants. She's not as traditional as I was. But that's ok!! She's wearing it!!! She should really do what she wants!!! But so far it's been a blast planning. I bought these really cool floating gel pebbles, that actually prevent things from sinking in the centerpieces!!!! Oh how many things amazon has! Such fun! Thanks for the compliments! Much love ~M~
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Divine~thank you so much. You're such a sweetheart! I miss that person. I am the only one that got the blue eyes out of the siblings. I am thankful for many things. I just wish we all didn't have cancer. How is your sister doing ? I think of you both daily... hugs ~M~
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This is a good shot of the dress this was the girls side of things. This was before the ceremony at my parents house. Sooo long ago! But the wedding part of things was fun I have to admit. And my kids being born. I would love to see some wedding pics, if anyone feels like sharing. I know people have privacy issues, but if someone wants to worry about what this cancer woman has been through, and going through, they need help!!! This is the family and love thread , i needed a good reason To be involved, this couldn't have come at a better time! This family needed something happy to celebrate. Now I just have to pay off all of the bills!! Hugs to you all! ~M~0
