My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Micmel. I have not heard of anyone else having more SE after having a break.so I doubt that will happen to you.
Yes, there would not be nearly as many posts on this thread if we all had to filter what we could write here. Obviously there's a need for this thread. Some days are just harder than others.
I did call my MO and she called in antibiotics. I should be feeling better very soon.
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Grannax ~ I sure hope the antibiotics get to work and you feel better. I had a hard time recovering from the dreaded flu and I still have a cough that is lingering. Bleh. Just annoying. It's snowing here. We have about 4 inches maybe, hopefully that's all. I am glad you all KNOW that this is the place , you can always vent how you feel with No judgement, it's basically a bunch of close family letting out what ales them or makes them happy. Kinda like for better or worse! I support everyone and I do not think any one opinions are wrong. Just different and that's fine with me. Cancer brought us here together, because we need each other, the support is everlasting and unconditional.....for me! Much love rest well! ~M~
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I really really really don't want to start another month of ibrance. I will be starting round #16 and i want the break to continue. I feel great. I'm awake, I have energy I feel more like myself then I have since beforediagnosis. I know my body is loving not taking the ibrance. It has energy and I feel like doing things again. I'm going to see onc this Friday, I want to hear what he has to say about lowering my dose to 100. I really need to feel alive. I believe that's part of my mental hole I fall into occasionally, because it's relentless! Wahhhh I'm going to bed. Rest well ladies. Hugs to all ~M~
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Micmel, you are ...what, what is the word I am looking for? Amazing? Awe inspiring? Powerful? I love reading this thread and seeing how you act as an anchor and centre. This is so mysterious and powerful to me. Hats off to you, Micmel. I wish too that you did not have to do more chemo and feel more horrible feels. I can only imagine what it will be like to drag yourself back into the chemo chair. I am so sorry this is the case for you and so many other women. (hugging you)
Grannax, I drive a 1986 truck and if I wasn't married to a mechanic I could not afford to keep and run that old thing. I have driven it for 22 years. THe thought of ever having to buy a vehicle without the guidance and counsel of my husband makes me sad. Because it is amazing to me how many people will willingly rip you off. I hope that is NOT the case with your Radical Cadical. I hope it serves you well for many years.
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I won't get overly political on this thread, however, I'll add a bit to the conversation about the Florida massacre of seventeen high school students and faculty members and fourteen more injured. Too many lives changed forever.
I have some family and friends who own guns. I don't have a problem with it at all. Most of them are hunters. Their whole world doesn't revolve around guns, it is only a small part of their life. In Ohio, t's always been common for high schoolers with their hunting license to take the first day of deer hunting season off from school. My young adult niece is a realtor so she packs heat for safety. Can't blame her.
I have a problem with the fact that the NRA heavily contributes to the campaigns of senators who then in turn always vote in favor of the NRA. Now does that seem right? To me, no. These are the senators who send "thoughts and prayers" when mass gun murders occur, rather than take action through "policy and change" to protect us. Instead, they protect their own self-interests. Senator Mark Rubio of Florida ranks as one of the highest receivers of NRA contributions. You do not, will not see him lead any effective changes aganst gun violence because of his NRA connection.
Tanya, one thing you can do is to address this is to to vote accordingly.
The NRA preys on people's fears and wants you to believe all your guns will be taken away. No one at all is saying that. While no laws will completely eliminate mass shootings, there are some policies that can reduce their occurance. You can google it. Many people support these changes.
That's all I will say on this issue on this thread, as it is intended to address other matters.
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good morning everyone! I have a couple of days at home and I thought I would take the time to catch up on my reading and to post some thoughts. We were so wrapped up in Miles problem that I did not find out about the mass shooting until the day after it happened. Unfortunately, I think that there are so many different things that have to be addressed to stop the shootings from happening. I think gun control is probably the last thing that we need to put into place. Where to start is the best question of all, I don't have that answer, but I can say this is a multi-faceted problem that needs multifaceted answers.
I feel like I have been dropped into a soap opera and no one will stop filming. All week long we dealt with Mills problems. Thursday night we had a meeting with s fil daughter and son-in-law, to explain our plan for them. Well ladies, it turned into a horrible nightmare. Fortunately, we did not have to call the police however we did have to report the incident to social worker, caseworker, lawyer and get help with the legal technicalities. This should never have happened. So Friday instead of dealing with the issues that I should have been dealing with I was busy reporting verbal abuse to the proper authorities, to see to it that it never happened again. Friday, was also a bad day because DH was rear-ended, yes rear-ended, just what he needed. Fortunately he was not hurt nor was the vehicle but just something that we did not need to happen. While on my way home from Mills, I ran into a lot of traffic trying to get across the multiple Bridges and ended up being an hour behind the time I had planned. I had hoped to get through the last part of my drive before dark as it is a two-lane country road going through desolate farmland. That did not happen, what happened instead was horrific! We were driving down the road I was behind a semi, and suddenly he started slowing down and I thought he was going to turn left so I didn't think anything of it. I never pass on that road in the dark because cars have been known to drive on it with no lights pull out from nowhere so on and so forth so I just rode it out. For a brief minute, before the semi turn to block the road, I saw a large hulking mass of black in the other lane and I remember saying to Skittles, yes I talk to my dog, dear God I hope that's not what I think it is. Semi-truck block the road so no one could pass, however he left a bit of a gap on our side of the road through which I could see debris strewn across the entire Road, so I filled the Gap with my car. It's funny because I went to step out of the car, and I actually pulled back in the car because we're in a dark Country Road in the middle of nowhere there is a semi in front of me there is a pickup truck behind me and I have no idea what's going on. Then I flash on the big hoking dark spot I saw and on the other side of the road and I jump out and go running around the semi, well not exactly running but jogging, and I see worse then I had even imagined, there is something in the road that at one time used to be a vehicle and I go running toward it, I see a person laying in the middle of the road. as I get closer, I realize this person no longer needs anyone's help. so I turn and head over in the other direction where there is a man and a woman standing on the side of the road, there is a pickup truck I don't even know how to describe how it was in the ditch on its side sticking up in the air it's kind of hard to to describe how it was. I have been shouting has someone called nine-one-one the whole time, she assured me they had, but she didn't know how long it would take them to get there. I told her it wouldn't take long as I had passed for Cruisers just a few miles back at a residence on the road. As we were talking I see someone sticking out of the vehicle and I go to head that way, when she told me not to bother he was dead also. when I saw the police cars coming I turned around to go back to my car so that I could make sure there was enough room for them to get around. I encountered the semi driver then who was trying to direct the police on where to go. he told me the accident happened right in front of us. He saw the whole thing unfold, and was very angry at himself that he had left his dash cam on his bedroom dresser. he described the accident to me in detail. I continued praying for the lives lost, the lives forever changed, and the injured. There was a man standing on the side of the road at the same, who seem to be in a State of Shock, he was staring in the distance with a horrified expression on his face and not speaking. I tried to talk to him, I finally got him to look at me and to acknowledge that he was okay he was not injured. I'm 60 years old and I have seen some awful accidents, and I have seen a couple of people killed in those accidents, from a great distance. I have never seen dead bodies close up like that. I had a somewhat difficult time sleeping at night because I kept seeing the one man's face. I don't know him, I don't know anything about his family. All I know is their lives are forever changed. I read online the next day, we accident report. the guy on the road was killed less than a mile from his home. We accident had nothing to do with his actions, he just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. the same with the other man who was killed.
I sure wish that somebody would wake me up from this nightmare, or cancel the soap opera I've been dropped into. Things with m i l and s f i l, and his DD and Sil, are spinning out of control. The move is scheduled for March the 1st, and I am hoping and praying that we can keep things civil and calm during this short time frame. I have turned into The Negotiator, who knew! I am trying to keep am i l focused, trying to get her to make decisions on what to take, gently steering her in the proper directions. DH and I are taking turns staying with them. I stayed during the week since DHS Physical Therapy, he stays on the weekends. That way, we can keep them safe and on track. I would have never thought just a few days ago that we would have to keep them safe. Just goes to show when there's money involved the ugly comes out in people.
I am trying to read the thread when I have a few minutes. I thought since I had a few minutes now I would let you all know what's going on. Divine, I hope your sister is doing better. It seems when you're the oldest, that is the norm. I am the oldest, and never want any of the others to know how bad I am feeling. It is always been this way. If you remember growing up, your sister was probably always told to take care of you if it comes a way of life, and as natural as breathing. Granex, I sure am proud of you for your Cadillac purchase! What a huge thing to undertake on your own without your DH! You did it, you are stronger than you think! Micmel, I am following along with the wedding planning and so glad that you sound so excited and like you're really enjoying yourself! You sound so organized! You and your DD are going to remember all of this for the rest of your lives! Runar, you crack me up. Your posts are always so well-written, so thoughtful, and sometimes hysterical! You have made me laugh more times than I can think of. And not just laugh but full body laugh! Please keep it up. I love the whole dying thing. I'm trying to figure out how I can make my funeral a little more interesting using one of your examples! Sometimes we get so caught up in the day-to-day drudgery we forget to turn around, and look at what's going on and find the funny. There is always something funny, there is always something positive, you just have to look for it I have to say even with all the bad things that have been going on with m i l, there have been some positives, there have even been moments when we've all broken out into laughter like when we're on the phone for 20 minutes on hold trying to order disposable diapers from the VA. If you can't find the positive in something you're not looking hard enough. Love to all, Claudia
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Runor~ how much I adore you! You're so kind and so funny. I enjoy you're just being here. Your humor has brought many a big smile and laugh to my morning or day. Truly I am thrilled to even feel that bond with you, which I do. I love my little sisterhood and I need it. I treat people how I would like to be treated. The world should wake up and pay attention, to the things we women do here together! I am one of many who makes it here to share with us their feelings and thoughts daily... I couldn't ask for More. I am beyond thrilled now at how well the thread is doing. IT warms my heart. Something we do together!! You my friend are one of the reasons, I do it. I adore you all! 💓🤗💜 please know it's my pleasure to know all of you !
Divine~ I believe it's not the guns but the gun owners....anyone could find a viable weapon if they wanted too. It's individually that I see faults. There is alot of mental illness in this world that is unrecognized and or hidden well. I am also not against guns. My DH and DS are also hunters. And my DH owns guns at our other home. I have shot at target practice. They are responsible gun owners and have taken several Courses dealing with gun safety. There is no way to prevent people who aren't all together upstairs in their brains and lives from doing things that we just couldn't comprehend. Let's just prosecute them to the fullest and hope someone would learn, hey that's not such a good idea. We also need to stop showing their faces and glorifying the act itself with rewarding them with the fifteen mins of fame. Just a faceless circle and a name. Never to be heard from again! The politicians all of them are a breed I don't wish to discuss. I am being honest when I say this. My SIL is one of Trumps golf caddies at his course in the near area and knows him personally. The things heard would Make your skin crawl.... North Korea is what we should be worrying about. That is where the problem is going to come from. That's a loose cannon. An example of people just accepting each other for who they are. Is this thread. I will love you no matter what. Voting becomes a difficult thing to do because no matter who it is, we don't really know them. They all put on their best faces and act the part. It's never going to change. Unfortunately, I am hesitant to vote, but I don't want the gun rights taken away. People need to be responsible for their own lives and actions. Criminals will always make sure whatever is in demand, they meet. It's all a two way coin no matter what!!
Runor~. Again. You made my day. You're a delight! I think you're pretty amazing also. I've told you that before and I mean it!
Much love on this snowy Sunday. We got about 7 inches after all. DH is shoveling outside now. It's going to be 72 on Wednesday. Say 😮🤭 that is a bunch of cray cray. But I'll take it! ~M~
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Bigbhome~💜 so happy to see your beauty here! We have missed you. I have nothing but shock to add for not only what you're going through with you're MIL and family issues but for that accident and having to see something like that. I have to admit. I have never seen that of which you have described. Only after, when they bring out the blue covers so onlookers can not see. Then you know it's bad. I am sending out thoughts of strength and peace to those poor families. But even though it was so awful, there you were ready to help, however you could. You put everything aside and was ready to help however you could. That shows such strength after what you have been through.... and seriously. Another accident for you precious DH. WTH?????? I am so thankful he want hurt I mean really now , should we all live in a bubble ? I am so happy to see you, know we seen always here, I keep a special seat for you. You were one of the first, to support me on this thread. I am always here for you. 💜
Much love ~M~
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...this is what I am seeing this morning. Out my back yard. It looks pretty now. But in two days it's supposed to be 73 degrees. I'm not complaining, but how weird is that? Hugs ~M~ The sky is what caught my eye. My dog in the front loves the snow. He was galloping all round! They have fun, I wish sometimes I was a dog that was in her forever home safe! 0 -
bigbhome. It does sound like a soap opera. Many times during the nightmare that was my dad after my mother died. My sister and I thought a producer could put all our drama on a TV show. And we were like, how could this be US, now? We were the quintessential family of Norman Rockwell paintings in the 50's and 60's. I won't go into TMI but here are a few words to describe my dad as a widower. Wrote his children out of his will, barred and bolted all doors, fell in love w a twenty something care giver, wanted her and children to move in w him, decided he would marry one of three women he met at dance club, got a penile implant at age 80 , married the meanest one of the three, wrote her and her son into our family trust, she cut off all contact w his children, she got Alzheimer's and started beating my dad, one of caregivers stole a huge amount of money, finally got them in assisted living and my dad died one month later, she lived many years, her son in charge of our trust, we received a tiny portion of the sale of their house. The End.
So, yes I understand about staying with in laws to protect them. Yes, I understand about being the oldest. But during all of that drama, my husband was DX w pancreatic cancer, I Was DX w my third bout of B.C., my husband died the same day that I finished chemo and radiation, my dad died exactly one month later. The aftermath was, I don't even have words to describe it.
All this other stuff, life stuff is not just an aside for those of us living in MBC land, it's huge. I have wished time could stop while I do this MBC thing. I plan to ask God about that when I get to Heaven. 😇
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Wow granex! You have been through the mail that's for sure! I love the part about talking to God when you get to heaven! I did ask him yesterday, if maybe it was possible that he overestimated my ability to handle all this! I know you're not supposed to get more than you can handle, but it might be just a tad too much. I can't believe all you had to go through, and here you are on the other side of it all, purchasing your first car alone, and living your life. That's what I want to do. Speaking of cars, I have had my car for 10 years now, maybe 11, it is a 2008 Toyota Avalon with 276000 miles on it. It has been the best car I have ever had! I have wondered though since it is getting so high in mileage, if maybe it's time to get a lower mileage car. But I have to tell you that this car has caused me no problems in all its years other than tires brakes oil changes no other problems at all. DH offered to get me something with less mileage, but honestly every time we talked about getting rid of my car I cringe. I feel like I know that car backwards forwards inside out, I know how it drives, I know how it handles, and I feel like it knows me is the driver. Not as a feeling thing but you know as a machine gets used to it how the person that is in charge. I'm terrified to get a lower mileage car for fear it will not be a good one. I don't want a new car I am never going to pay that big huge hit again. Talk about throwing away money. So anyway, like I said, it's in great shape do you know in all the years I've had that car I have one door ding on it one I'm so proud of that. of course there are massive amounts of rock chips you can't put that many miles on and not expect to get some rock chips
DH called this morning, he is so frustrated, I need to get him out of there. His mother plays on his emotions, he has a very soft heart, he seems tough on the exterior but he has a heart of mush. I told him to leave the hard stuff to me, I will take care of it when I get there. I guess he's getting an argument on every little thing. I just keep plugging along with a smile on my face, talking about how wonderful this new chapter in their life is going to be and focusing on all the positives. DH gets frustrated and angry, because we should not have been put in this position in the first place. But you can't change things so you might as well just deal with it. Getting angry certainly doesn't help anything or anybody. So I talked him off the ledge. Told him if he wanted to to take today off and I will take care of getting items packed up for the move. She refuses to decide about what she wants to take. So I am going to gently, but firmly, pick these items out myself.
Hugs to all, enjoy this fabulous Sunday!
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I have read both of your posts Grannax and Bigbhome, and all I can say is I am amazed at both of you. No one knows why the things are put in our path, especially things that seem like unobtainable mountains. So much interference from others, things we cannot control but are forced to go through, nothing doing of any one decision we have or haven't made. We didnt choose anything with anyone else's lives either but they somehow become our problem just because of the word or title family. My family outside of my inner circle is CRAP! I mean shit of the earth, I know that sounds bad. But trust me. I don't say things like that lightly so please believe me when I say it must be bad. So I can relate to both of you when it comes down to bad blood and money issues, people treating others badly. It seems like the word family just gives someone an excuse to put up with otherscrappy behavior and never be able to either call them on it and have them care, or even change any of it. Then the anger comes, especially when money is concerned! Then the real demons come out. I'm so sorry that any of that happened. But I can promise you I have sung a similar song with my family....way out of tune!! Much love to you both! ~M~
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Grannax and Bigbhome, such a lot to deal with. If God only gives you what you can cope with, you are 2 of the strongest people I have come across. I have lived a charmed life. Hugs to you both x
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Hello dear ladies! I posted a couple of times back in November, you may or may not remember, not long after my husband’s death and you were so supportive. I’ve kept up a bit but thought I’d post an update on my progress. So far, to our knowledge, I continue to be in remission. PET scan scheduled for early March. My cousin/caregiver/housemate and I went to Michigan to spend the holidays with my sister. I spent most of the three weeks huddled in bed. It never got above freezing, and my sister’s household is chaotic. But at least I wasn’t here. And I got to see a bunch of family members. And my sweet doggo Rose got to accompany me everywhere as an Emotional Support Animal. My PCP was happy to write paperwork on her. She traveled like a pro, lying quietly on my lap through airports, restaurants, plane rides, etc. What a comfort.
And I am finally working on carrying through with something that started going through my head almost 7 years ago, when DH and I bought this house, and I had my first cancer dx. And that is, I don’t want to die in this house. So yesterday I made an offer on a house that started speaking to me the minute I saw the thumbnail of it, and couldn’t get it out of my head. If this all comes together it will definitely be a miracle. It fits us perfectly, our lifestyle, our guests, our animals, etc. It’s actually slightly larger than our current place, but we are downsizing our contents drastically. And since I have neither the strength nor energy to do so, I was referred to a company called Caring Transitions. I met with the local franchise owner the other day, and they offer a full range of options for helping folks like us move, downsize, sell our stuff, etc. Their pricing seems reasonable. Basically I won’t need to lift a finger, only make decisions about what to keep, etc., and I can even have my friends help with sorting & packing, to help reduce the costs.
So there’s my update and a recommendation. I’ll be checking in from time to time.
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Magda~welcome back sweetheart, it seems congrats are in order for the continued remission, I am also with you ! So high five to you! Moving sounds exciting especially if you hear it talking to you. I also will be moving soon as well, I am thrilled to hear your doggie was able to travel with you to Michigan, having that special pooch with you is so comforting! I love that idea! Yay to your PCP! I am still so sorry for the loss you went through with your DH. I hope you have found some peace in knowing there is no more pain or icky medicines. That's what gets me the most. The side effects. I hope you get the house you want and I hope the people helping you make it easy and seemless for you. You deserve the best. Welcome back and big hugs to you. It's been too long! What an awesome organization, I wonder if that is a national organization? I'll have to see. Don't stay away too long my friend. Hugs to you strong woman. ~M~
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Magdalene 51. Are you from Oklahoma? I am from there but have lived in the Dallas area for almost 40 years. What city is your new house in? That company sounds wonderful. I have thought of moving many times since my DH died 7 years ago. The thought of it sounds daunting to me. I have started getting rid of big pieces of furniture that I don't need and lots of other stuff.
Micmel. You're moving soon? How did I miss that? I remember you mentioning it but I thought it was a year or two from now.
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Grannax ~you are correct I that it won't be moving until my DSS finishes his high school final senior year. So that will be in 2019. We're going to give the kids a chance to rent the house, here. But if it doesn't work smoothly. We are going to sell it and they will have to find their own places to live. With my DD getting married it makes sense that they would want To have their own place. My DS is the one I am worried about really. He is not as mature asmy daughter is soooo I'm worried more about him finding his person. It makes me feel safer knowing she has her person to help her through life. Now if only my DS could find someone. He has a relationship in high school. But she broke his heart soon after college started. The hag! Jk. I loved her. Miss her around. When I got sick she kinda pulled away. Maybe it was the timing. But she used to cry more than my DS. Makes no sense how people can really change. But I guess that is what learning life is all about. Not too many people really like changes. Hope you're feeling good Grannax! Magda. Hope you're doing ok! Much love to all ~M~
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Grannax, wow. I was reading your post and it was making me think of something that REALLY worries me about popping off before Hub. And that is that another woman and perhaps her kids can ride in here and take the portion of this home that rightfully belongs to my daughter!
I have been clear and vocal with Hub. Go ahead and find another companion but DO NOT let her and her kids shove our child out of the picture. In other words, don't think with your dick!
However, I also think that if Hub spends the next 20 years with a companion he loves and who adds value and comfort to his life, if he dies, she should not be left penniless and homeless for her years of love and care. I see that too often too when someone dies and the kids come swooping in and put the surviving partner (who came along as a second partner) out of the home they have had for 20 years. I think that is wrong. Leaving your kids out is wrong and letting your kids shove your partner out is also wrong.
Of course, planning to AVOID theses scenarios takes legal steps and forethought and one thing Hub is not good at is getting shit done unless I'm here to nag at him about it. He will meet a new woman, move her into our home, he'll be thinking that he should draw up some papers to make the division of assets cut and dried but he'll just never do it. Cause that's how he rolls and it makes me insane! I see the nuclear fallout, over and over, of people who do NOT take care of these legal steps NOW, when it's time.
It is mind boggling how life can seemingly kick so many people when they're down. I am in awe that anyone continues on!
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Hi there Runor~ I agree about the kids and etc... my kids are older. 22,21,16 to be 17 in March! My DH and I have seen an attorney already and I have everything already taken care of having my will and life insurance benefits beneficiaries designated for the policy. My health advance directive. My power of attorney designated and signed. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Talk about being smacked in the face with reality, one that cannot be controlled. You sit there at the table, everyone knows who is the sick one, they have that quiet eyed look. They don't really want to make eye contact with you, but if they should, you see it, they're uncertainty of what to even do. What to say, so all they do is smile but their eyes say, she's donezo for! I am more and more not sharing information quite specifically anymore. If they want to know they will or can ask me. I don't want to be the pity party! I'm so sick of it.
I had to start the 16th month of ibrance yesterday, I today woke up at 930 and DH had to go back to the other house. 💔💔💔 he left at 1215. I was up about an hour. Then slept until 315. I have no energy. NaaaaDaaaaa! Already. One freaking day and I'm back to zombie land. No energy at all. I just want to lay down all the time. The past three weeks on my break because of the flu were heavenly. I'm seriously going to tell him Friday. 100 mgs pal! Or talk to the hand. Of. Course he won't want to change anything because of how well it's working for me. I know I feel lucky that I have a medicine to take. But that medicine changes who I can be. Who I have become while I take it. Makes me so angry. I don't want to take any medicine anymore. I look at my pill organizer and it weighs as much as this monkey on my back. Everyday 19 pills. I don't know how to continue. It clouds my thoughts, confuses what I feel, what I think. Invents more pains than I even really have. More like jumping pains all over to different places. Crazy shit. How does one go forward after a break... knowing that the side without the medicine is living..... but the side with the medicine is exhausting and so limiting. Just muddling through everyday constantly tired. Living in cobwebs I can't move away. It's a vicious choice to be faced with. But for my DH and family I take the dreaded brown pill , that I am deeply inside thankful for, but it zaps who I am. Zaps my personality zaps my life or what life I could be living. I hate you cancer. You stole so many lives, and continue to do so. Everyday. Love all you guys ! Much love ~M~
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.....fatigue is back. Yikes!! ~M~0 -
Hi all
Too much to catch up on tonight but I’ll try tomorrow. I picked up my BFF (since 7th grade) from the airport yesterday. She and DH accompanied me to my H & P treatment today, then to The Melting Pot for dinner. It was great and we’re all stuffed!
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Oh Micmel, you are so right! I’ve not had break from Xeloda since I started it, and the only thing that has helped (and not much) has been the Adderall I convinced my PCP to prescribe. I haven’t taken it for the last 3 days (I always put up pills for a week and a day, and hate to do it when I’m out of anything which I have been) so I’ve just been taking my pain meds and muscle relaxers and I have morphine for breakthrough pain and I have been a zombie sleeping 16 hours a day and more.
Buying a house alone is terrifying. Doing almost anything alone, without the person you’ve done everything with for 30 years, is terrifying. But I have to keep moving forward because the alternative is worse. Somehow.
My son’s MIL is a dear friend, widowed 9 years ago, is engaged to be married in June. She’s going to bring him down next month to help with the moving. And another friend got married at Thanksgiving. My cousin just brought me word of the husband of one of my best friends - she passed away in 2012 - has a new lady in his life. I know I will not have that, and it makes me so sad. Yes, I’m happy for them, but crying inside.
Can I have your pity party if you’re not going to use it?
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Magda~You take that party if you need to let it out! My DH has moments where he gets that fear. I have it too I think it's a part of me now. He told me a few days ago that I am ingrained in him, I can imagine that everyone who has found their person feels that way. I think you're an amazing woman. When I really think about if the shoe was on the other foot and I lost him. I just don't think my heart could love another. My DH is everything I have dreamed of my entire life., there is no one else that could ever fill his shoes. I understand the need for a companion perhaps. Sometimes hospitals have those groups for support. This week I learned there other stage four women in that group. I am going to go because I honestly need to have that unspoken understanding that we seem to have here. I would hope all hospitals would have them! A friend that understands or someone just to have lunch with or talk to. Doesn't have to be romantic for you, if you find One also. I am looking for a nice woman friend locally who understands the struggles that we as MBC sisters face. I am glad you have people helping you, you deserve the added support and kindness. Hugs to you special lady! Much love ~M~
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Mae~Hi darling, so very glad to see you, was just thinking I hadn't seen you. I am so happy you picked up your bff that is so very special. Now I understand how busy you must have been. Not that's anything new. I hope you have some good meals and good time to spend togther. Making those memories. Have a blast! Glad all is well with you. Much love ~M~
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Itssssss fatigue I can't sleep time. Hooray! Second pill and it feels like I never stopped. I see a Breast re-con on Wednesday and I guess I am a little off because of it. I don't know if I want to have more surgeries period. If it has to be done That is one thing! Have any of you had any type of recon done to you after a mastectomy after it healed and was like 2 years later?. I just want to make sure I dont open any cans of worms.
I either read too late ....or....th fatigue or watch the Olympics which i do really enjoy! The other show I can't stop watching because it's just that I don't know. Odd I guess, is sister wives. He's weird ( like freakish weird and I don’t know why the sweet ladies deal with his doggy nappy hair style and arrogant attitude). But the sister wives are good decent women. I would never in a million years live like that and so far from what I have seen, none of the kids that are marrying from their children are becoming poligmists. They want the monogomy that every other normal couple seeks. I just can't imagine living like that at all. Crazy town! But Interesting to watch for sure! Trying for bed again. Maybe should read to get tired. Need someone to talk to. Chelle~~~~~ where are you my girl???
Goodnight 🌙 I'll try this time seriously !! ~M~
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.........This is how I feel with no sleep. How can anyone feel good if they cannot get any sleep. I was up every two hours. I hope everyone is doing well. Good morning! ~M~0 -
Hi MicMel ! I haven't post for a while, but I read some of the posts. Sorry that you have problems with slipping. I do too, but I don't fight it. If I can , good, if not I watch a stupid movie that is so boring and put me to sleep. In the morning if I feel like zombie I take vitamin B 12 methyl. Actually I take it very day and I feel healthy energy. I still have problems with writing a post. If I want to correct smith. it erases almost the whole thing. I follow your advice , but still happens. I sow your beautiful neighborhood. When you move you may be miss it. I hope you will feel better today.
Warm hug
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Divine, I hope your sister feels better!
Sending hugs , love and prayers
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Blueshine~Sometimes you just need to close your browser and re load the page. Sometimes it freezes the entire page. Crazy computers. I stared the medicine again but today was a VERY special day for me. Yesterday I got my medical marijuana card in the mail.... I am elated. I went to the dispensary, and it was an educational and well as helpful. I am beyond excited to see if some of this will help me come off some of this pain medicine is my focus! Today is an historic day for me today. I'm speechless. But very very happy. I hope everything is well for you and you're doing well! Was wondering where you had gone. Good to see you! ☺️ I can guarantee I will miss my neighborhood very badly. I’ve lived here 20 years. I love it. But I love my DH more.
Much love ~M~
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MicMel I always thought there is big potential and healing power in Marijuana, especially the oil. But in Ohio is still confusion about that. The moment they clear the problem I will get a license. It will be very expensive though.....Thank for the help with the tipping. It's getting better. I hope the right strand Marihuana will help you with the sleep, pain, physical and emotional. Tell us how you feel after you try it.
Hugs,hugs and a lot of hug
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