My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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molliefish- sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Hugs to you and your family.
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Thank you for the link to BevJen's obit. I was really hoping I was totally wrong and we would hear news of her rallying. She was a truly great woman and will be so missed on BCO
molliefish: I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. I lost my fraternal grandmother when I was very young. But I do remember her knitting us itchy wool items and crocheting washcloths. I remember the Scottish songs we leaned from her. My sisters and I still sing together "With the hills of home before us and the purple of the heather...." (Uist Tramping Song) I wish I had a chance to know her longer. My other grandmother passed at a great age when I was in my early teens. I will never forget being folded into her very ample bossom. I smile when I think of that now, back then it was "Oh, Geez, Nana" Hold your happy thoughts
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molliefish - while your grandmother's passing was surely difficult, there is much reason to celebrate her rich life! Oh the wonderful memories you must have!
rosie24 - what a gut punch. I hope the change in meds will help reduce mets and pain. Is there possibility of radiation?
Love all the news of travel, especially when photos are shared. I know Rosie had to give up a trip. Cancer is so damn rotten. And it’s not just the f—-ing meds and scans and radiation, it’s what it does to our daily lives. My daughter and SIL were visiting last week. He is a biologist at Merck who works with monkey trials, which is the last step before a drug goes to public trials. I made the comment that cancer will never be eliminated because think of all the $$$$ that would be lost if there were no more patients to treat. His comment was that Merck has dozens of drugs it is working on in the cancer area and that the ultimate goal is to reduce cancer. I would like to think that it would one day happen. I’m grateful for all the drugs that have been developed which extend my life span. But I hope our daughters (sons too) never have to follow in our footsteps
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Mollyfish- I am sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing but I can just imagine the stories she had to tell of such a changing world
I found out today that I have covid and it's kicking my butt! My husband also has it. My daughter and fiance are here which makes it difficult to enjoy their visit. We are all separated!
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Well, just found a listing for a couple of the renovated apartments in my building. The two bedroom which has a lovely kitchen, plenty of counter space comes with furniture, a dishwasher AND built in laundry in one of the bedrooms. They want 2100 for the two bedroom.
The one bedroom, size of my place, no counter space but built in a dishwasher, laundry in the bedroom, in what used to be the closet and furnished as well. 1500. Again, furnished. Aimed for university students signing a 12 month lease or I suppose anyone can sign up for the lease. They also have to pay electric in both places where we do not pay for that in my place, neither do existing neighbours.
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So very sad about Bevjen's passing. She was so kind, so smart, so helpful.
Lately I find myself avoiding phone calls and isolating from friends. The only thing that makes me feel less alone is watching films and documentaries about other dying people. I don't know if this is a mood or if this is how I am now.
Next week I start three weeks of rads. The radiologist thinks they can help with the ulcerating tumors on my breast. She said she has treated this before. She got a nurse in to help me with dressing the wounds, and we did the measurements in the radiation room. I have red X's that I have to be careful not to wash off.
My insurance denied Enhertu (3 times) and Piqray. Looking at Doxil, if Astra Zeneca declines my request for patient assistance on the Enhertu. The MO I consulted for a second opinion thinks that Piqray wouldn't work well enough for me, anyway, so no disappointment there.
The heat is oppressive. Staying in, as usual, but this time I have an excuse.
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ninewelve: Your self isolation is understandable but reach out here. It makes me so angry to read about insurance denials. It is just so wrong!!! I hope the rads work on the ulcers. They must be painful.
mara: those apartments sound pretty nice but wow -- plus paying for utilities. I don't know if I would want a furnished place. I kind of like my own "still living like a student" furniture. The owners must be looking for renters who come and go and don't want the hassle of packing./moving furniture for a short term rental. Like a year of university.
It is so hot here. Feels like 37 C and the humidity is around 68%. I want our rain back!!!
edited to add; Rents are just plain crazy everywhere. I don't know how anybody does it in major or smaller cities.
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Rosie and Living, wishing you both the best for treatments and recovery.
Big trip to a nearby town tomorrow to get drinking water as we have no water source up here yet, groceries and prescriptions. It’s an all day event, so we limit trips to twice a month, if we can. I’ll paint the primer on the interior bar walls Saturday and the wall color on Sunday. I’ve got treatment and scans this week and next but with some luck, I plan to finish soon and begin decorating 😁
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hello ladies. Everyone has so much going on. Life is so busy and challenging. I haven't been my usual self this past month or so because I've been dealing with really agonizing gastrointestinal problems. Saw my palliative care doctor. Told me to rest my system. Started to feel a little better. This afternoon it was so bad I gave in and went to the ER. I was there for 7 hours. I'm exhausted. They ran bloodwork galore and I was lucky enough to have a yay another scan. They gave me fentanyl the pain was so bad. My blood work was fine. Pancreas enzymes were perfect they were concerned about my cancer of course. My scan came back stable again with the cancer but showed swollen colon, intestines, small and large. My system just won't recover. So I'm on a clear liquid diet for the near future and have a date with a gastrointestinal doctor. The gas pains were so bad I thought I was dying. This is really giving me a run for my money. But it's good to know it's not cancer related. But I just feel I have enough to deal with. It was a loooong day I waited in the ER lobby for 2.5 hours bawling in pain waiting for my turn and a room. It was so long. I wasn't sure I was going to make it. I was in terrible pain. Gas pain is torture. I'm sure a talk about myPoor diet is on the horizon. Not to mention how over all these years the medicines affect our bodies. I guess I'll see. But this is a real challenge.
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We will see how it goes, nothing rented out yet, though think that someone was showing one of the upstairs places in my building. We will see and if I am still here, how noisy it is with students. I hope I can stay but admit I am jealous of the 2 bdrm kitchens, they have a lot of counter space and counter is same material as mine.
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micmel, we are sorry to hear about all of the challenges that you are going through. We hope that your pain will resolve soon.
The Mods
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ninetwelve , I had ulcers on my breast which were zapped, then healed for a while with careful use of specialist dressings afterwards. They did return, but are 'falling' off since I have have been on Trodelvy. Good luck with rads.
micmel ,oh you have my sympathy with gastro troubles. It sounds as if you might be getting the support you need to deal with the problems and the pain. I hope the liquid diet works for you.
Mara, good luck with your housing issues.
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Mel - oh girl I feel you on that. I thought there was no worse pain than bone met pain, then I met gastro pain. Two days of that in April and I was ready to tear out my hair. And yes, certainly tears too. I lost a bunch of weight over a few weeks from just either not eating or only managing liquids or potentially some white rice. I hope they can figure out whats going on with you soon!
Rosie - just after my diagnosis but before the big sacral met blowout of '19 I went out one night to two concerts. We never intended it to work that way, but when you wait 4 hours in the hallway for the doctor to call you in to tell you you have cancer, there is a lot of time on Facebook to catch tickets! The first show was amazing and I pushed it, despite having a tough time with pain and walking, to go to the second show in a big warehouse that involved a lot of walking from the station. Heavy security due to (likely) drug presence and I almost didn't get admitted because the bouncers thought I was drunk due to how I was walking!
Let's hope you can get that sorted in the near future.KittyKat - what a lovely photo!
Mara - thank you for the comment of southwestern salad - ive got all sorts of salad stuff from the veg box this week and frankly that sounds EXACTLY like what I want for dinner tonight.
Question - are electricity/gas prices going through the roof in the US too? Rent prices are high here but the big story is how much electric is going to be come October, due to how the energy markets work. Its going to be ugly for a lot of people, and we chose to renew on our current flat which is a bit too small now, due to having lower energy requirements and a decent landlord.
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Mel,
I hate to hear of you in that kind of pain, or any pain. I am struggling with bone met pain and oh man, I had no idea how bad this could get. I will pray for relief for you,my friend. Hang in there. I can’t believe that with all of the drugs they throw at us that they couldn’t give you something for the gas pains. Good grief! How much are we supposed to deal with?
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Kitty,
Thank you forsharing that very interesting picture. I’ve never seen anything like it, and I love seeing and learning about places I have never seen.
Tanya,
Prayers for you for safe travels. I am SO happy that you feel well enough to go to Morocco, and then on to other places in Europe. I can’t wait to see some pictures when you return.
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Mel- I am sorry you are dealing with the GI issues now too. Isn't cancer enough?! I hope the GI doc can give you some help-- tell you the "why" and what to do about it.
Sondra- Yes, our gas and energy prices are high. Our gas for vehicles was over $5.00 a gallon this summer, now $4.39 yesterday at the gas station here in my town. Some places in the U.S. it was $7.00 a gallon at the gas stations. And, they are saying that electricity for our homes is going up this winter. Food prices are crazy. They say we are going into a recession.
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Mel - so sorry you had to endure that kind of pain. And sitting in the ER waiting area for so long - I hope the pain meds helped. And hopefully you don’t have to wait forever to see a gastro doc. Why is it that we just keep getting bombarded with 💩??
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Mel and Booboo and anyone else in pain, I pray you find comfort soon. Mel, hopefully the severe abdominal pain does not return. But, if it does, you might want to call an ambulance to transport you to the hospital. The onboard EMT's can help assess and reduce your pain, and once you arrive at the hospital, you will probably receive treatment and testing more quickly.
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livingivlife I hope you and your DH feel better soon.
Mel I hope the gastro issues are resolved soon.
Boioboo sorry you’re in pain.Rosie 24 sorry to hear of your Mets. Hopefully they can be zapped and get you back mobile.
Sending condolences to BevJens family and friends. A sweet helpful sister.
Molliefish sorry to read of your grandmas passing. Her life is a history lesson.
There is definitely effects of global warming here in Casablanca they are going to start turning off water for 8-10 hours a day. No rain drought but thankfully they got their crops out. Figs on trees everywhere ready for harvest. Oranges galore. So far they did paperwork yesterday which includes tea and fruit nuts etc.
my father married for the theirs family at 62 which is why my youngest brother is 24. Today we’re in the way to henna party.
More pics to follow.
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Mel, I am sorry I missed reading about your gastric pain, hoping it starts to heal up soon for you. Gentle hugs coming to you.
Booboo, I am sorry you are dealing with pain as well, so hard for people to deal with.
Decided that I am no longer going to put worry into what happens with this place or even mail delivery. Fact is, if I get to stay, I don't pay electric and have laundry that does not take up precious little storage like the students or whoever moves in. I easily move the step bench for the washer in the tub along with the washer for showering. In a small place, you get used to moving multiple things around to use something so not a big deal.
Still using up some rotini pasta I bought from Walmart, this is the fourth or fifth meal and I ate out of the container yesterday so will rinse them off and combine with roasted beans throughout the day. May include queso which I reintroduced but may need to think about sour cream to make more genuine. I think instead of the southwest kit which had dressing I did not enjoy, I'll stick to making my own kits with Romaine lettuce that I can freeze if stored properly and get doritoes or fritoes to act as the chips, keep buying my cheese shreds. Add the beans and seasoned beefless ground and it should be good and cheaper than what I bought. Making myself hungry, may need to order some groceries to make it happen, we will see. Staying in while it will be excessively hot.
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Micmel— so sorry you are going through such gastro pains. I hope the medical profession can stomp on that pain so you can get some piece.
BooBoo1- how are they treating the bone mets pain? (Hope you don’t mind the question). Also hoping they will find a combination of palliative solutions to calm it all down.
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Oh, mel, I'm so sorry. Gas pain can be excruciating! I hope they can figure it out and you get some relief!
booboo, I hope they get your pain under control.
mara, I'm glad you are not worried today. I hope your living situation stays stable.
I'm still dealing with wicked insomnia and am feel a bit incoherent this morning. My apologies to those I haven't mentioned.
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Mel, I'm sorry to hear about your gas pains, hopefully the docs can get you something to get on top of the pain. Booboo, sorry to hear you're having bone pain, I've been having a bit as well, sitting is really uncomfortable at the moment. It's 1 am here, I'm not tired but the power just went out so I can't even watch tv. Enjoy your trip Tanya, I'd love to get away somewhere out of Australia. Sorry to hear about your grandmother Molliefish it sounds like she had a very fulfilling life. Take care everyone ❤️
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So made a Walmart order, did get the stuff for my own southwest salad, romaine, canned medley of corn, peppers and other seasoning. Got sour cream and queso to mix and the beefless ground as well.
Order is here and put away, will figure out meal combos afterward, was able to get everything delivered and easier meeting him by the door to be honest. Probably will continue that too.
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mel: I am sorry you are suffering gas pains. Any kind of pain in the gut and intestines is awful.. I guess you can take heart in that is it isn't cancer. It is so true that every little or big pain we have our brains go automatically to "Oh, no...now what has mets?" or something along those lines. Are you on clear liquids or BRAT? I hope you get relief soon. Yeah - and waiting in ER just to be seen is the pits.
I have been having on/off upper abdo gnawing pain, mostly the right quadrant since 2019. I'll be fine for weeks then I'll have days of major discomfort...then gone again. I tracked food. Maybe I would have to give up French bread, or worse - cheese! --- but it appeared not related to food. Had an ultrasound. My pancreas, gallbladder, liver --- all okay. Unrelated to the specific pain. They discovered a small cyst on my kidney but that wouldn't be causing the pain. Mixed relief and disappointment. I am ashamed to say disappointed but I would have like a nice, tidy answer. So I guess it is just "one of those things" Like my glowing, upper left arm bone "anomaly"
Booboo: I hope you get relief soon and can get comfortable.
Tanya: Climate change. When is the world going to turn on Bolsonaro? Those rain forest are one of the lungs of our planet, the thermostat. If we all drove electric cars and stopped burning coal we are still doomed without the rain forests. Have you picked your European destination yet? I have cousins in Normandy whom I have never met. Maybe I should go to France next time I can afford to fly to and stay in Europe.
I chatted with my GP today about the US. He made a comment about all the drugs and treatments we cancer patients do over the years.......................
Wishing you all as good a day or night as possible.
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Went to get my "official covid test " today at our health sites. Of course it was positive. I have the whole list of symptoms so I called the cancer center to let them know. I have to stop this month's Ibrance as my immune system would really tank. They have called to get me the antiviral medication but who knows how long that may take .
we booked daughter and fiance a couple of nights in the resort hotel so they are away from the house. I gave them my card to use for essentials like their food and gas. What we consider essential may be different from what they think 🤔
Mel- have you had an ultrasound for your stomach pain. It could be obstructed or twisted bowel which is double over pain.
Tanya- enjoy your wonderful trip ! keep well and safe
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Mel, I'm so sorry you've been in pain. I hope they can figure it out. There is nothing worse than not knowing what's wrong with you.
Booboo, I'm also sorry you're having pain. I hope they can get it under control.
LivingIVLife, I am sorry you got Covid. I hope you get the antiviral soon.
I'm waving hi to everyone. The fatigue has been great this month. I went on a mini vacation with a friend.
I hope this picture makes someone happy.
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Living, I am sorry that you got Covid but were able to send you family to a hotel, yes essentials may differ but I am sure they would not go nuts on it. Hope it is easier on you and you recover soon.
Mel, hope your stomach or intestinal issues are figured out soon or improving, still in your pocket.
KBL, that picture is lovely to see, thank you for showing us. Glad you able to take a mini vacation even through fatigue.
I am enjoying some of the new stuff I bought today. Popped open the bean and corn medley, the mediterranean this time at dinner, mixed with a tiny bit of pasta and beefless crumble. Cooked on low in frypan on stove and put a lid on for a few minutes. Added wheat bran, a little caesar dressing, bit of low fat mayo to mix and generous amounts of italiano seasoning, it was very good. Going to put the romaine in baggies in the freezer so it does not go bad before I use it, probably tonight.
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Tanja - we went to Marrakesh in 2019 and it was very interesting - stayed in a riad in the Medina, did hammam, saw the bread baker a few alleys down who made the breakfast bread every morning, the little shops and how people live. Such amazing design and craft. I hear Fez or Casablanca are better and less touristy, so I look forward to your photos!
Have had a scratchy throat the last two days along with stuffed head and blocked nose. Supposedly top three covid signs, but testing hasn't shown covid (yet). No fatigue or fever, woke up from a (rare) night sweat last night (we had ordered pizza for dinner). I thought maybe it was allergies as they are pruning trees in the area but Benadryl didn't work. Could also just be a head cold too - I went in to the office on Tuesday and oh my god the bathrooms were a disaster area (never used to be!) and I could hear people coughing all over the place. And people wonder why I never go in!
I have monthly MO visit Monday, so hoping this resolves or doesnt come up as covid. Will definitely double mask!
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Dodgers (and all the rest of you who commented),
My onc keeps upping my OxyContin. I am now on 80mgs. (ER) and 20 mgs. of Oxycodone for breakthrough. It is not working. I suspect the reason is that a lot of the pain is nerve related so pain meds are not going to help. We’ll see what she wants to try next.
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