My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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early modern - mri also mentioned periosteal new bone formation and cortical erosion - does this mean tumor is present or forming? It mentioned “heterogeneous T1 hyperintensify," not T2. I find myself looking for discrepancies and gray areas to keep my hopes up. I just hate dealing with imaging report, I told my Onco I prefer to do biopsy first before Pet scan to spare me from this misery but he thinks bone biopsy is very invasive, is it? Or does he wants to do Pet scan first to see if any other parts light up to confirm met because like you said, fibula is very unlikely part for bone met?0 -
Struggling the last couple of days with pretty bad fatigue. I don't know if this is the rad tx catching up with me finally or if I've just been trying to do too much and ignoring my fatigue. Lately I have been sleeping better but still feet tired in the late afternoon to the point I can hardly think straight. On my PCPs advice I am trying really hard not to nap during the day but yesterday I came home from treatment and just crashed for about an hour and a half. I'm done Tuesday with rads. I did splurge and get a frozen pumpkin spice latte from The Human Bean. I know I'm early on pumpkin spice season but I couldn't resist. The calories were worth it :-)
Mae - Great picture of the pups!
Anx - An ortho/onc sounds like a good idea. I agree with Earlymodern, that's some great info. I hope you get some solid answers soon.
Hello to the rest of the living room! I hope you all are having a good weekend.
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It depends what time in the afternoon you are napping and the duration, sometimes a 20 min nap helps. I think it is normal for the body to be extra tired from treatment. I get drowsy from Herceptin even if it is a targeted therapy. I do fall asleep for the rest of the day and night. I know I tend to fall asleep even during shows or movies without realizing it, wind up staying up until 2 to 3 am after but I count the sleep beforehand as part of that night's sleep.
Debating with myself about getting chips to use as seasoning on beans and such, not crazy amounts but thinking of adding them to my coffee/spice grinder just to add some extra flavours. We will see, if I do, off to Walmart tomorrow. I would buy the no name brand. Wanting a bbq flavour, sour cream and onion, cheese and whatever else strikes my fancy. Can grind them to a fine powder.
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Anyone for pocket duty this week?
I have none, but may have missed some with all that is going on here with my Dad.
He is struggling to adapt to the Nursing Home. He has confusion too, so it is hard to reason with him. As emac said above about her fatigue, I have been really nauseated lately. I was struggling with that before from the Lynparza, but it got better. I don't know if it is my nerves, or that I was so busy with Dad that I squelched the symptoms and now they are so bad I cannot ignore them. I have not been eating well and really fighting the nausea.
And I am trying to get in some sort of a schedule with going to the nursing home to be with Dad. I know I cannot go every day as I am too tired. But he likes me there and I want to make sure he is being cared for. But I worry about the germ factor, as you all know I am a germaphobe. Not just Covid, but all the germies in a long term facility.
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Candy none for me this week but signing on for pocket duty for you still dealing with caring for Dad while he is in LTC and your germophobia. That is a hard combo to deal with.
Anx, pocket duty of support for you as you are still waiting for more info and possible scans to see what you may be dealing with.
It is super cloudy but think between storms will bus to the mall to get a mall walk but also the chips mentioned yesterday that I want to grind up as extra seasonings and extra large plastic containers for more airtight storage at Dollarama as well.
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Anx- it is so difficult to wait for conclusive results. I would go with the PET scan first as suggested because the biopsy is definitely more evasive. However I am no doctor but would follow the doctors lead. May you find the answers soon.
Emac- I have fatigue on a daily basis and do not hesitate to rest in the afternoon. I may not sleep but I need that rest period.
Candy- I do hope your father settles in soon. It is hard enough on you with your own health issues. Feeling more nauseous could definitely be caused by nerves. Please take care of yourself!
Mae- oh those huge puppies eyes ! I hope you had a great dinner with your friend
Mara- all those stupid inconvenients at your apartment would drive me crazy . I know patience is a virtue but there's only so much one can take.
It is very hot out here today. My plans were to go into Charlottetown to take my special son out to the open market and walk around the pier but it is just too hot. We will bring him out to our house tomorrow. It will be the first time he will be here without Abby. The first thing he does when he comes is grab a treat and gives it to Abby. How do you explain to someone that doesn't understand what has happened to Abby?
Waving hello to everyone 😊
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I would be as straight and age appropriate as possible when breaking the news. Kids will be sad but most kids are resilient as well and honesty again to their age and comprehension is the best. JMO. Hopefully others chime up. As far as patience, I don't feel as angry, more resigned. I will just check the door at night, got to remember that there are 3 more levels here with doors and not convinced they will have handles. Not in the mood to climb the stairs to check. I will just check my floor at the end of the day. My apartment is in working order and that is all I need.
I ordered Walmart delivery for some groceries. I wanted chips that I can chop up for seasoning in my coffee/spice grinder. I would get more value and put some of my own seasoning in as well, got more queso, sour cream and butter along with some garlic spread and cat litter. I do pay a fee but the cost savings absorb some of that along with surveys. Just too stormy here today to go by bus. One struggle I was having was getting the order up to the minimum to be able to have it delivered. The queso and beefless ground along with the cat litter helped boosted it up to be able to have delivered.
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Good afternoon all
Been reading along. Hot today here in Florida. I swam and cooled off. last week I got the steroid injections for back pain. It seems to work but ironically feels weird to not have the pain. They didn’t do my hips at the same time but so far it seems to be working.
next week I have regular faslodex shots Tuesday and port dye study Wednesday. I hope the port is fixable bc if not it will have to be replaced.Candy I hope you have a more relaxing day and that your dad is getting good care.
Mara I ate using a raclette grill while in France. I will try it out with my granddaughter Monday as I found one here on Amazon. It seems like a nice way for family gathering.
Mae the puppies are 3 lbs that’s so cute. They’ll always seem like puppies.
Waving hello to all boo-boo special shout out my friend. I hope you’re comfortable.
Tany
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Waving hi to all
wrenn: I cannot imagine how stressful and painful it must be to be having to put your DH in a care home and selling the house you shared with him. I wish you strength and peace,
candy: we love your pocket-duty detail but please concern yourself with your beloved father. I am not a germaphobe. If I was I would have stopped chewing my nails decades ago. But care facilities are petri dishes (or peach tree dishes as MTG calls it ha ha ha).
anx: I have an anomaly in my upper left arm bone marrow. It glows in PET scans. I had the whole gammut of tests. I did have a bone marrow biopsy. They just drilled through the muscle, the bone and extracted a bit of marrow. It wasn't all that bad. I don't know what your biopsy might involve. I might be more invasive. It showed up again on another PET six months later but it is unchanged and remains an anomaly. PET in September so we will see if it is still just "there"
tanya: raclette grills......cheese....just the best
mae: I went back to reread and refresh my lousy memory. I had meant to say how much I loved the pic of the two donkeys. I used to dream about having some property where I could have a donkey. Love horses but a donkey seems more my speed. But that would put me out in the country/hinterlands and I am too urban and too old to be too far away from amenities.
LivingIVLIfe: I am sorry about losing your beloved Abby. Damn pets. We love them so much, they love us back and then go and break our hearts. I don't know what to suggest you say to your special needs son. I wish I could be more helpful.
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Tanya, that raclette grill looks interesting. When not in use, can store in the oven. I like the idea of stuff at the bottom getting heated a same time as the top. I can see myself saving time by preparing everything at the same time. Saving money for it.
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Well, my idea to use the spice grinder did not work out so well. Think I will just eat them as a small snack. Luckily, it was only 6.00 but I did not like the texture when they were added to the spice grinder. Not a bad idea, just did not work out for me. You live and you learn.
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Bummer, mara. It sounded like a good idea. Do you like them sort of crunched up in the bag and then sprinkled over the top of your food?
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Yes, I can do that much to them. That would give some lovely crunch to different dishes. Thanks for the simple way to use them.
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Hi Tanya. I’m still here, although have been sick again with Bronchitis. I’m starting to feel better after my family doctor put me on an antibiotic.
Your trip sounded fabulous. I am so glad you were feeling well enough to go. Please post any good pics you have. I miss you, my friend.
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it's always good to see you BooBoo. Hugs dear friend
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Aw, thank you Mel. Same. I always look for your posts.
Candy, I have a PET scan on Wed. and would love some pocket company. I’m not expecting good news, but at least it will give me more info on how long I have left. I’m good, whatever the outcome.
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Laurie, glad you are feeling better from the bronchitis and will definitely be in your pocket for the Petscan.
I have nothing on the go today. I ate terribly yesterday. Had white rice for the first meal, then chips the rest of the day. If I need crunch, going to look up making chick peas crunchy instead or buying croutons.
Meals today will all feature black beans I think. They can include rice or pasta but no need to skip the beans. Bake them up crispy. I think the chickpeas will be put in a chopper and chopped to a mushy texture with garlic to add to a burger as a spread as well as the other normal toppings for another meal. Back to loving my queso. Other thing I have remembered when I make up a burger is to use peanut butter along with the burger. Toast the buns after the burger is cooked, add butter and a bit of peanut butter along with ketchup. Think that may be dinner.
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Pocket duty for you Booboo.
Booboo--- I am in awe at your peaceful attitude. I am 5 years into this, with 1 progression, and on 2nd line of therapy, with, hopefully, many options left in the arsenal, and I get so nervous with my scans. Will I have progression this time? What will be my next treatment option? (No, my MO does not discuss next therapy option with me ahead of time) Even with my Dad that is 96 years old, I hate to see him coming to the end of his life. How can you be so at peace with your future? I am a Christian, and know I have a Home in Heaven, but I want more time here on this Earth.
I do pray your PET shows good news, and you have some more days here with us.
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booboo: Pocket duty for you. Salted caramels with dark chocolate? I once heard the definition of "courage" as being grace under pressure, not always meaning charging a machine gun nest or some other act of bravery. You have courage in spades.
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Laurie - here for pocket duty with great Wisconson cheese and crackers.
All of you in this living room are inspiring sisters in your own individual ways. It is an honor to share this room with each one of you. Those that have gone before us have left deep impressions in our hearts, giving us strength to go on. Love to all
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Booboo- you are a wonderful woman with both courage and grace ❤️ I'm in your pocket with home made lemon tarts.
Goldens- to each of our sisters I couldn't have said it better than you!
Hugs to all!
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Candy,
I have completely accepted whatever comes because I know where I’m going. This is not our eternal home—just a temporary place to hang our hat. God has given me a peace that I truly cannot explain. I have been very fortunate in my life to have had it all—great job, nice house, the best family a girl could ask for, and the ability to travel far and wide. (The only thing that didn’t turn out so well was my marriage.). I don’t write these things to brag, as I have done none of them without God by my side. I give Him all the glory.
Also, when you think of how many millions have gone on before us, this life has to have more to it than just being born, live, die…the end. Just doesn’t make sense. However, I know not everyone has the same belief system, so I am not trying to “sell” anyone on my way of thinking. I know this sounds crazy, but part of me is very curious of what’s on the other side.
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I wish Mel's living room was real but then it would have to be the size of a stadium. Maybe take over an entire hotel, we could go splash in the pool, laugh and eat in the restaurant, maybe even raising a glass to those present and gone in the lounge.
goldensrbest: you are so right!!!
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Laurie, I will be right there in your pocket on Wednesday when you have your MRI. I hope the results are better than you expect. I know that some time ago you made decision to stop treatment because your QOL was severely impacted. I know that wasn’t a decision you made lightly and that your faith helped you through that. Your faith is helping you now, too. I know that God is right there with you, and if you close your eyes you will feel that His love is flowing through your body.
Candy, I know that you also have strong faith in God, but it is normal for us, as human beings, to feel fear or reluctance about leaving this life we know so well. It does not diminish your faith in any way. It simply confirms your love of life. I can imagine how hard it is to see your dad suffering as he is. I know you just want to make him better. My dad died 9 years ago. He was younger than your dad. He truly loved life and his family. He wanted to live longer, but he accepted what was happening to him. I so much wanted to just hug him and keep him here. The last day of his life here, he told me it was his best day ever because he slept all day. I told him I loved him and that I would let him sleep and see him in the morning. He said he love me too and thanked me for everything. That night passed away in his sleep. I still miss him as well as my mom who died 5 years earlier, but I know they are both at peace. You are doing everything you can for your dad. He obviously appreciates your visits. Keep yourself safe at the nursing home. Do you have good masks? Don’t forget to use hand sanitizer. Be sure to eat and take care of yourself. I hope the nausea subsided. Iwill keep you in my heart.
There are many more people I would like to “talk to” here, but this message is way to long.
Hugs and prayers to everyone.
Lynne
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love seeing you here Lynne. Good to hear from you. You and your sweet thoughtful self. Hugs to you
hugs to everyone else Tanya good to see you here also. Mae loving those puppers. Beautiful scenery on the sky. I’m just taking day by day. Stomach is a lot better and healing. Takes longer than I thought. Ugh! The things we have to go through
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Laurie (Booboo1)- In your pocket for Wednesday (I'll bring zucchini muffins). I share your faith although I admit through this process I have not always had the peace you have. I'm there now but it took a while and the Lord knows I still struggle sometimes with it. I hope that the news you get is better than you expect and that you still have generous time with your family.
Candy - Hugs to you and your dad. My folks are not needing long term care at this point but both are starting to have health issues and lose cognitive function and that is both scary and exhausting. I hope you find time for some rest yourself.
Goldensrbest - I think you summed that up beautifully.
I've been thinking about all of us with these wacky weather reports I'm hearing. Mae, I know you are on higher ground but I'm hoping all that rain and flooding in Texas didn't cause any harm. The rest of us I know are scattered across the states and the globe so I've just been saying extra prayers that the weird weather is manageable for everyone.
Last radiation treatment is tomorrow and my birthday is Friday so it's a good week. No major plans for my birthday. I'm going to dinner with my folks. I have gained a few pounds as well as a few years since this diagnosis but I am going to set any dietary restrictions aside and splurge on desert. Can't turn down a good carrot cake with cream cheese frosting :-}
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I am checking in here at least once a day, depending on what is going on in my life. I had not posted since yesterday at this time, and now I am reading the posts from the last 20 hours or so. I wish I had checked in earlier. Thanks to all of you for your messages to me.
Booboo- I love to read of the peace God has given you. I envy that. I too want that-- the "it is well with my soul" feeling. I do know that God is helping me thru all this with Dad and my cancer. God is Good, All the Time.
50'sgirl- When my Mom passed, I was with her. She was on Hospice and died at home. That last day she was calm,, she always suffered with anxiety. That day she did not. I thank God for that. He was with her guiding her Home.
Yes, I have N95 masks. And when I come home from the Nursing Home I change my clothes and get cleaned up---- since I have been sitting in their chairs and touching items (door handles, tables, etc) so I am doing what I can to stay safe--- as much as I can.
I talked to my Palliative Care doc yesterday and got a script for Zofran for the nausea. But last time I used them they made me sleepy. So if it does that again, I cannot use them when I need to do things or go see Dad (driving).
Happy Birthday emac!!!!!
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Happy Birthday Emac!!! 🍭🌷
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booboo, in your pocket, however my snacks are currently limited to a Twix bar and jar of peanuts, happy to share though 🙂
Emac, a very happy birthday to you 🎉
Yes, I am dry up here. Dallas is getting hit, Houston is waiting I think.
Kikomoon, how are you? Staying dry in San Antonio?
This is technically our monsoon season out west but this has been more rain than we’ve seen in several years. Even the community pond, which has been dry a long time is doing well, hopefully the ducks return.
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Candy - one of the ladies on the Monday zoom call talked about a product called a Relief Band that helped her quite a bit with the nausea cause by her cancer meds. She says it was making a big difference for her. It's available on Amazon and is not cheap (not diopter expensive) but could be worth it for QOL.
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