My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Mel, it is such a good show and the trailer for the next episode is interesting as well. I am glad to hear your sister is being supported so well by her coworkers, and yeah, hope the kids keep their mitts off. Does she have someone who can act as her power of attorney to prevent anyone from accessing those funds but her? If not, might be worth looking into while she is not working. I hope you are doing as best you can too, in your pocket always.
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OMG, your message is so strong! And you're right; many things we do in this life are for love. Love often leads us and makes us survive or even sacrifice ourselves for somebody. I'm so happy for you to have such a supportive husband. So many people suffer from the lack of support and kind treatment when they first hear their diagnosis
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Mel, still in your pocket as always, filled with love for you and extending to your family.
I am awaiting some new bluetooth earbuds, I use them for walking but also at bedtime to listen to the pouring rain with a subliminal hypnosis as well. Helps me sleep.
I am surprised with myself. I have not read a book, I have listened the odd time but not read a book almost since my brain met was found and treated back in 2016. I've been watching a lot of the lifetime channels adaptations of VC Andrews books and was interested in reading some of them again so I joined scribd.com, I picked a new VC Andrews book and am almost a third of the way through, just reading on the computer for now. Seems to have most major books included as well. I am actually really enjoying the reading, will be glad to catch up on more recent Stephen King and other authors I love.
Just drying some laundry, it is rainy out so not planning to go anywhere. Will probably check for mail tomorrow on the bus or on foot if not too hot. It is a PIA but I don't see my property manager prepared to do anything about it at this point and I have emailed many times. Planning to cook up one of my frozen burgers, grind it up in one of my choppers, I find it easiest for ground beef and combine it with some of the beefless ground and rice. Would take me a few days to eat it all and I think the taste of the burger and rice will just make it interesting to eat. Could make a ground hamburger with the toppings swapped in as seasonings that heats in the microwave, add mustard, ketchup and a bit of mayo as well, eat it off a plate, would be yummy I bet. Could also add said mixture to pasta as well as beans. Just thinking aloud for some variety in the limited ingredients I enjoy.
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thanks Mara, it's been a rough few weeks. My sisters cancer is aggressive and is spreading i amworrying about her non stop. She gets her port Friday and chemo will start not too Long after. She's in shock and I don't know if she grasps the whole thing. Her work started a go fund me for her and it's reached over 5 thousand dollars so far. She can't work and won't be working for a while. Especially soon. I have to talk to her about her caps for her head. She will need them. Your head gets very cold without hair. Especially at night. I feel so sad having to Even associate them with my sister. This entirely sucks. Life is difficult. I'm worried about how advanced her cancer has become. Seven months trying to Figure out what it was. Sinus infections colds. Etc. never cancer. Until now. I'm so sad this has happened to her. She doesn't deserve it. No one does.
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Micmel, I am sorry to read about your sister, both for her having to go through it all and you, who is now in the position of worry, not being able to fix it and not having the words to make it better, because there are none. Tough spot all around. I wish you both well. He’s a rainbow from yesterday’s storm to make you smile.
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Thank you Mae, I appreciate the beauty in that. Plus the support. Cancer just plain sucks. I hope you’re doing well with the move and etc. new cabin. And the puppers !!! Precious lil fellas.
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Mel, she has one thing going for her, someone who totally understands what she is going through. This site or other sites can help but a flesh and blood family member whose been where she is, I know she has a different cancer but you can support her emotionally as well as the knowledge you have acquired.
I sleep with a cap as well since I am mostly bald too. Great advice to give her.
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I am going to try and get a load of laundry done and perhaps venture out to the mail depot to check on my mail by foot after a small breakfast which will include some rice, beans, beefless ground and probably queso. Seasoning with taco and adding some peanut protein powder for higher proten as well, rice as the carb. Should be enough, take about an hour to and from and is less of a struggle the more I do it. Not overly humid either.
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I have to walk to get my mail also. I hate it. I always forget my mail key and never get the dang mail. It’s really hot here today. I have to say I hate 90 degree days. I can handle 80’s but that’s it! Yuck!
that rainbow was so pretty Mae. What a view!0 -
Micmel, I’d love to have your 90 degrees right now. It’s 56 here and raining, I have a sweater on but I’m still cold, might have a nap with puppies 🙂
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I just wanted to let you know that Bigbhome (Claudia) passed away about an hour ago. Her pain and suffering are over now. I wish her family and friends peace and confort
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50sgirl, thank you for sharing this sad news. Our thoughts are with all who knew and loved Claudia.
—The Mod
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RIP, Claudia! I hate this disease!
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Hello all. I've been trying to sign in for over a week and not been able to. The page that gives me the sign in looks like someone barfed up alphabet soup all over it, it's just a mindless jumble of type over type over type and I CANNOT get on the site! I have not read everything up to date but see more sad news. It's a slap over and over that we all recover from over and over. It's brutal. It breaks hearts.
I have a topic I"d like to toss out for your consideration and feedback. Hormone Replacement Therapy after breast cancer. I have always believed the literature that says hormones are bad. Hormones will kill you. It's the hormones that fed your cancer. Cancer patients should never take HRT because they are trying to prevent more cancer, not feed it and make it come back.
But is that all true? Is it all that black and white?
I am listening to info that says estrogen (which my tamox worked to keep OUT of many of my cells) is required, necessary, critical to the health of a woman's organs, bones and brain. That we were never designed to live as long as we do and now that life expectancy is so long, many women live in differing stages of misery due to loss of estrogen (and other hormones). We worry about breast cancer killing us and that is obviously a very urgent worry for all of the people here! But statistically, heart attacks are WAAAAAYYY more likely to take us out. Way. Or the complications of a broken hip due to frail bones. Or Alzheimers. I am hearing that replacing estrogen is sensible from a quality of life perspective. It saves our vaginas from becoming tumbleweeds that roll dryly and miserably across the desert. There is, apparently a whole host of really sensible reasons to take estrogen. and to start taking it at the right time because if you start taking it when you've lost too much bone density, too bad for you. You need to start BEFORE shit goes sideways, because you can't play catch-up later on. I heard that docs get one hour , ONE, of training about menopause. A condition that many of us may live in and suffer with for many years of our lives is given only one hour of mention in medical school? I don't know if any of this is true. But as sex suddenly becomes painful, causes bleeding and I have been battling yeast infections and hoohoo misery like never before, I have to wonder if there isn't something to this 'estrogen depletion sucks' theory.
I had this conversation in my head:
Bad Runor - hey, maybe I should go on HRT. It will help with skin, hair loss, vaginal misery, hot flashes, weight gain, heart issues and mood swings that make me want to slap random people while grocery shopping.Good Runor - hold on there. Do I want more cancer? Do I want to give it an excuse to come back? Do I want to feed it (estrogen) what I starved it of with that bitch tamoxifen for 5 years? Do I want to undo all that miserable effort?
Bad Runor - Let's think about this. I took tamoxifen to prevent cancer. Tamoxifen is a known cancer causing agent. It is listed on the list of things that give people cancer. I took a cancer causing drug to prevent cancer. I did that. But hormone replacement , which can prevent a whole host of very real life ending problems, THAT is the drug that I should fear? One cancer causing drug is fine and dandy, but another isn't? Is this even a sensible way to think?
Good Runor - yes. Huddle in a dry, vaginal ball and let all other bad health effects swallow us up, because cancer from tamoxifen is worth it and cancer from HRT is not. Tamoxifen cancer was worth the risk. But improved life quality and health from hormone replacement is bad. Glad we got that straightened out.
Bad Runor - well, if I hope to live another 10 years, why would I live them in bald, fat, shriveled kooch, misery? When does the quality of HOW I FEEL become something that matters?
Good Runor - 10 years? Good luck with that!
Bad Runor - (sticking middle finger in air and slapping Good Runor)
I think information on hormone replacement therapy is changing. I think it is not just a medical decision but also a philosophical one. If it can save us from a host of other known problems, is it sensible to avoid HRT as if it's the only thing that will 'take us out' ? Can / must all our future decision be based on what might bring the cancer back? Maybe in my last years of life I'd like healthy bones, healthy brain, a stomach that I do not hate and a vagina that doesn't make the sound of a rusty door hinge when we attempt sex. Maybe I might even WANT sex (although I kind of doubt it). But I would like to not walk around all day thinking my vagina feels like hell. Or worry about hiding me receding hairline. So this recently heard info about hormone replacement leaves me wondering if the benefits might be worth the risk? Tamoxifen was sold to me as the benefit being worth the risk - and the risk is not small! Maybe the benefit of HRT is worth the risk?
I don't know what to think. I look forward to your opinions on this topic.
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Bigbhome (Claudia) loved her horses Bigb and Maddie. She loved to ride Maddie. She took those horse wherever her and her DH went. They finally stopped in Arizona. She was a good friend to someone very close to me and I am so saddened for her and Claudia’s family. I hate this disease more than any filthy word would ever work. May she Rest In Peace with no more pain. May she know how well she was thought of. It’s heart breaking.
Runor~ estrogen scares me. So I would never consider ert too much estrogen is not good for someone who had cancer that was estrogen driven. I’d be afraid. Sounds like you have an angel and a devil on your shoulders.
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Sad news about bigbhome, I hope her time away from BCO was filled with living a nice, low stress life. RIP
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Rest in Peace Bigbhome. She did love her horse. Condolences to her family and friends.
Runor- yes you do have conflicting options but i knew i had to stay away from estrogen especially if the cancer was estrogen related. I was also told to stay away from soy.
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So sorry to hear about bigbhome, Claudia, I pray she is at peace. Riding horses in heaven. (My heaven will be lots of dogs but horses are so incredible, too!) Peace and comfort to her family.
Runor, I wish I was in a position to contemplate HRT, but at Stage 4 I am just trying to practice gratitude for still being alive. I did laugh about being (nearly) bald, fat, and with a dry kooch, because, yep, that's what these harsh meds are doing to my body! You have to make the choice best for you. I seriously would not want you to get metastatic disease though.
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runor~ thank you for the much needed smile. This wasn’t a very good day. I’m so worried about my sister my stomach is all in knots. Whatever you decide. I hope it makes you feel better. Missed seeing your name. Glad you’re logged back in.
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For more information about the subject of HRT, Runor, read a book called "Estrogen Matters", by Avrum Bluming, MD. Dr. Bluming is a well known and well respected breast cancer specialist who pioneered the use of lumpectomy rather than the radical mastectomy that was the standard during the 1970's.
I was shocked to find that all of the negative information on HRT, including the erroneous belief that it is implicated in the development of breast cancer, was based on ONE extremely flawed and horrendously manipulated study.
It will give you a completely different view of the safety and even the necessity of HRT for post menopausal women. It certainly changed my mind.
Trish
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Runor, follow Dr Liz O'Riorden on twitter or instagram, she has been doing a lot of research into the safety of HRT for women who have had breast cancer and researched Dr Blumings book which contains false information on the safety of HRT, she had to get behind a pay wall to find out the exact trial he mentions and it was a trial to see if tamoxifen or high dose estranged was a better treatment for breast cancer, not about hrt at all, the best thing for you to do is talk to your oncologist and if after trying various other strategies to deal with menopause if he recommends taking it. I hope you get good advise on the best course for you to follow.
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Runor, if you can, follow Dr Liz O'Riordon, she is a breast cancer surgeon who contracted breast cancer herself and has lately been doing research into the safety of HRT for women who have or have had breast cancer and particularly looked into Dr Bluming and found that his claims re hrt aren't based in fact and the study he refers to was not about hrt but using estrogen as a treatment for breast cancer and the doctors conducting the trial could not definitively say it was safe. The best thing for those of us with terrible menopause symptoms is to speak to our oncologist, try all the alternatives and if you still want it discuss a plan for the safest ways to take it.
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Good morning All,
I saw my oncologist on Tuesday, and there is a lot of progression in my liver. She showed me 3 sizable lesions that look to be new or growing. There were other areas that also lit up; they were in the areas where I'm having the most pain. We discussed radiation and if I would want to do that for my right hip area (where I have the most pain), but I declined. It is a lot of driving to get to the facility where they do the radiation, and frankly, I would rather spend my time enjoying my family.
I know you all must think I'm crazy to not want to do everything possible to stay alive, but I am SO tired of treatments, radiation, pills, shots, more pills, etc. I've been on this hamster wheel for over 9 years, and I'm tired of it all. I am still getting the Faslodex shots, and she is going to evaluate whether or not we continue after my next scan (in about 2 months). If I continue to have progression, she is going to stop the Faslodex, and most likely turn me over to hospice. So, not great news, but I am content with my path forward.
Mel, I must have missed something because I thought your sister was ok…that she had a cyst. I am very sorry to hear that it is not just a cyst, but BC. As the others have said, you are going to be such a good resource for her. Hugs to you, my friend.
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BooBoo ~ hi honey. I'm sorry to read of progression. I hate cancer. Hate hate hate. I hope beyond hope it just stays within reach to treat your pain. So you can enjoy your family.
My daughter had an ultra sound for her breast because she found a lump. It was determined to be a cyst. My sister has been diagnosed with aggressive lymphoma and is getting her port tomorrow to begin chemo the following week. It's been a rough month. I'm worried about my sister. She is 61 and is the glue that holds her family together. Cancer really is merciless.
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Booboo- I am sorry to hear of your progression. No, you are not crazy for not wanting more treatments. Everyone has to make that decision for themselves. If you are at peace with your decision, then that is all that matters.
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Laurie, I am sorry that you have progression. I know you expected it, but we all hoped that the results would be different. No one here will ever judge you for the decisions you make. You have always been at peace with your choices, so you have made the choices that are right for you. You are the only one who knows when enough is enough. We will always support you. We all know that undergoing numerous treatments over long periods of time can be exhausting, discouraging, and overwhelming. I know that you have struggled with many SE over the years. It comes to a choice between quality of life and quantity of life when, in reality, more treatments do not always translate into increased longevity. You know that you want to spend time with your family. I am so glad that you are surrounded by all the love and support that they provide. I am sending you big hugs and will continue to pray for you.
Lynne
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Laurie, seconding Candy's sentiment about continuing treatment. I hope your Faslodex keeps you out of hospice longer. I am the same as you with what important difference, if the herceptin were to fail, I would not want to move to other treatments. I live alone and don't want to be sick and rely on DB and SIL. They already have been there at the start of my cancer and then Mom's cancer helping to get services for her. I also am not wanting to try different things either.
Any decision about continuing treatments and tolerating new drugs is each person's alone, not continuing is not giving up and throwing everything at it is valid as well.
I had my early morning MRI, was nice to be home by 830 am. I walked to the hospital but took the bus home so I would not have a rough walk. Not sure what else I want to do today. Kind of bored so may go to the mall or just do laundry, we will see. I may also just do treadmill for the rest of the day, we will see. Also have to do some sock darning as well, I wear holes through socks so quickly, it would be pricey to replace them all the time.
I also am OK with the fact that even if it is just a little warm, I overheat so quickly that a bus trip to an indoor location is best unless up early enough to walk in the morning, less humid lately which help but think that for long walks, treadmill or indoor mall walking would be good. Can do my longer strides. Walked to the hospital on the side of the road on the side streets just to lengthen my stride some and then when on sidewalk, take a shorter almost marching type of step.
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Runor, if I had been diagnosed early stage and completed my 5 years of tamoxifen without cancer returning, I would definitely consider HRT, if needed. I was nowhere near menopause at the time and having chemo shut everything down overnight has been tough on myself and my poor DH. If you’re essentially “cured”, then estrogen wouldn’t really be feeding anything, right? Unfortunately, with ER+ stage IV, the potential is always there, waiting for an opportunity.
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Laurie- I was saddened to read of your progression results. Only you can make the decision that enough is enough. You have always found peace with the choices you make. Enjoy your family time. You are a wonderful spiritual woman.
Mel- it is only natural to feel worried sick about your sister. Is it non-hodgkins lymphoma? At the same time you still have to take care of yourself. Let your sister know we are in both of your pockets with love and hope.
Mara- I'm doing laundry today but somehow I think my laundry day is a little easier than your wash day. It is still beautiful weather here. Was outside cleaning up yard and dead heading flower boxes. 🌼 I hope your Mri results are good again!
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BOOBOO - sorry to hear that you had bad news. Sorry seems like such an inadequate word. I think the decision to not pursue more treatment when you come to that point is a blessing, in a way. A bitter blessing. It makes everyone sad and frightened and frantic. But illness can become the center of the universe that consumes everyone's energy and light. There comes a time when enough is enough. Only you know when that thing clicks over inside you when you say, well, I did what I could, I withstood untold misery, I held on to love those I wanted to love and now ... done. No one judges you. We all just wish that no one had to have this conversation with themself. Many hugs ( and affirming slugs to the shoulder) for you.
MICMEL - I had not heard about your sister, if I did I have forgotten. I am so sorry! And that must have scared the hell out of you knowing your daughter found a lump - hell is in those words! Hugs to you and I hope for better days.TRISHYLA - yes, yes and again yes! If we have learned anything in the past two plus years it's that science gets shit wrong all the time! Published studies can be terrible and lead to wrong conclusions. I had always believed that HRT was bad, bad, bad, verboten, the one- way path to more cancer. But is it? Word is trickling out that no, maybe it's not. And even if it is, we have a cost benefit analysis to consider. Lack of estrogen (and other hormones) can make women feel like shit and put them at all sorts of very real health risks. We are all focused on not getting more cancer. But is it okay to get brittle bones, heart disease, alzheimer's and a crunchy hoohoo? Like my mom. She's 82. She smokes. People tell her she should quit smoking. She's 82! She may as well smoke as much as she wants and enjoy what life she has left and to hell with all the do-gooders who think the ONLY benchmark of a good life is a long life. A long miserable life? Is that our only option? We line up to take antidepressants to overcome low mood. Well maybe if we took a hormone that stopped hot flashes, helped us sleep, helped our skin look better, helped us shed a little belly fat, helped our vaginas not pucker and die, helped us think our husbands were cute and not someone we wanted to hammer over the head the minute they walk in the door - if we had THAT in a pill, maybe we wouldn't need anti-depressants. Maybe an anti-depressant is what an uniformed doctor following bad science offers a woman whose body is depleted of the very hormones it needs for life? I don't know. I really don't know. But I am wondering. Obviously there are people here for whom the answer is a clear NO. But I think many docs have acted like the NO was clear when in fact, it isn't. I have a host of symptoms that I deal with, they are increasingly miserable but I never really put them all together as 'menopause'. Now that I've been reading/hearing about the flawed study that some claim damaged women's health greatly, I am suddenly thinking huh, maybe I need to replace what is gone? (so I can look and feel like I did at 18, BA HA HA!)
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