My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

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Comments

  • dodgersgirl
    dodgersgirl Member Posts: 1,902

    Candy— so very saddened to learn of your dad’s passing. Losing a parent is so painful.

    Hugs and prayers going your way. May you soon find comfort in your memories. May your dad Rest In Peace.

    Emac— please continue to share as you need/want. I am hoping your doctors find a new course that helps you quickly. Keeping you in my thoughts.

    BooBoo- May you continue to feel inner peace as you travel a road all of us fear. Your grace is very comforting. Praying your medical team can keep your pain under control. Prayers coming your way.

    Mel- hugs to you and your sister. It is not uncommon to get port installed and start chemo right away. I have 3 friends who have been where your sister is now. All 3 friends are in remission. Hope your sister has same results.

  • dodgersgirl
    dodgersgirl Member Posts: 1,902

    Sadiesservant— sorry to hear about your progression. Prayers that your onc team has already come up with a new treatment plan that kicks C’s ass for a long time.

  • kbl
    kbl Member Posts: 2,980

    You know what I'm noticing on this board? We are here for each other, not telling each other you can beat this, not saying everything will be okay or fine. What I see is compassion and understanding for what each of us is going through. This is why I love coming here every day. We are so sorry for loss or progression, hard days and no energy. We are here to listen. I'm so sick of those who are around me saying, But you look so good, don't do this, do that. Follow this thing or that thing and everything will be okay. I appreciate you all so much, and I just want to say that. I love that each of us totally understand what others are going through. I've been quiet lately. We all go through that. I honestly don't know what I would have done if I didn't have this forum. I want to thank you all for being here and I am sending hugs to all of you.

  • cookie54
    cookie54 Member Posts: 851

    Candy- I’m very sorry to hear of the loss of your dad. May you find peace in all the wonderful memories of him.

    Mel- Cancer just plain stinks and can’t even imagine how difficult it is to watch your sister go through it. Prayers for strength to all.

    Booboo-Sending up prayers and may you find peace with your decision. We will all be faced with this decision eventually and I pray that I can be as brave and faithful as you are. Hugs.

    Saddieservant- Sorry to hear your xeloda is failing, it just plain stinks! Sending good thoughts that your next treatment will hold off progression for a very long time!

    Hugs and strength to all who are struggling with pain


  • runor
    runor Member Posts: 1,615

    Micmel - prayers and peace for your sister. I know this is hitting you right in the hurts.

    Candy - sorry about your dad.

    Sadieservant - I am sorry for your progression. I can't imagine the misery of not knowing what the next option might, or might not be.

    KBL - I have a windchime. It's quite large, makes a captivating, hollow tubular sound. There are crystals and golden butterflies on it. Has a little chamber to place a lit candle. It is hung in a spot that rarely gets a breeze, it is mostly silent. When I do hear it I know something special and unexpected is about to happen, wind coming from an off direction and I feel a thrill of anticipation. Sometimes when I walk by on a day that is far too still and silent I lightly riffle the chimes as I pass. This thread, Mel's living room, it exists, and secure in that I do not need to hear it all the time. But I can reach out and run my fingers over it and hear the chant of the chimes whenever I need to. A touchstone. A grounding. A deep pool of cool water to dip fingers into when the noise and heat and bustle of life Out There gets too much. When we need a place where our inner selves, our unique thoughts are Known by those among whom we are not so unique ... this place. Where we can Be, as scared, as uncertain, as soulfully tired, as angry as we want or need. Mel's living room is exactly the place where we can let ourselves be as we really are, and not as anyone else needs us to be. A blessing.

  • kbl
    kbl Member Posts: 2,980

    Runor, that sounds so beautiful. I love the way you write so beautifully too. Your words are so peaceful, I can almost imagine the sound in my mind.

  • candy-678
    candy-678 Member Posts: 4,175

    Pocket duty for the week of Sept 4--

    Mara- Brain MRI results on Thursday.

    Anyone else this week?

    My Dad's funeral is Tuesday. Sorry I have not commented on each of your posts. I know there is a lot going on among us.


  • chicagoan
    chicagoan Member Posts: 1,061

    Candy, God be with you in these difficult days.

  • booboo1
    booboo1 Member Posts: 1,196

    Candy,

    I am so sorry for the loss of your Father. I can’t begin to count the blessings a good Dad adds to life. I know you will mourn his passing and miss him. Please know that your friends here are thinking about and praying for you, and hoping the good memories will sustain you.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,511

    Candy, I am sorry about losing your Dad as well. No matter he was going through, you were there for him and he knew this. My heartfelt condolences to you, your family and all your friends as well. In your pocket with whatever you need in there.

    I did put in a HUGE grocery order since I will not be able to shop tomorrow due to labour day. Got eggs again since I feel like just adding an egg to some stuff can make it more interesting to eat. Just a dozen and milk since my not opened or best before milk turned out to be bad when I had a sip yesterday.

    Well, the delivery driver did bring the groceries to the front step as requested, I hoisted the bags and huge box of cat litter, over 30 lbs myself up the stairs, one at a time. The only thing that was not easy were the stupid paper bags without handles. Good workout hauling the groceries up the stairs and the cat litter was lifted one step at a time, thankfully, only about 5 steps and that worked. Tightened my abdomen and glutes to ease the load on my back, seemed to work for me. Going to shred the bags and put them in shredder and recycle as they are rather useless to me.

    Since I did buy eggs, planning to just do up 1/2 cup beans and corn spanish medley and bake those in the breville at 450 for 12 minutes, make them crisper and then cool. I will then put an egg in the fry pan and just mix it around the beans. Top off with 1/4 cup of whole cornflakes, queso and sourcream added afterward. Should be a decent meal and fairly nutritious. I plan to stop doing the skip the dishes deliveries as they are costly and could get other things.

  • livingivlife
    livingivlife Member Posts: 454

    Sadieservant- it is so disheartening to hear of your progression. Hoping the MO team will come up with a treatment to kick back this hellish disease

    Candy - in your pocket with you on Tuesday

    Runor- what beautiful words . It brought tears to my eyes.


  • sf-cakes
    sf-cakes Member Posts: 617

    KBL, what a beautiful post about Mel's living room, thank you, I couldn't agree more.

    Candy, I'm so sorry about your father. It's such a hard loss, losing a parent, at any age. My Dad just died a little over three months ago, and I have pictures, a constant flameless candle, and his Dad's pocket watch on our mantle, and it comforts me to tell him how much I love him and miss him.

    Sending love to Mel and to your sister, Emac, Sadie, Booboo, and everyone else here.

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,723

    Candy, thinking of you and will be on Tuesday.

    runor, well said, as always. I can hear the tinkle of your windchimes.

    kbl, right on! I haven't "got this" and to be told "keep fighting" implies that it will be my fault when treatment fails.

    I have scans on Tuesday and Wednesday. They're usually on the same day, but they're playing catch-up on the CT scans now that the contrast is available. Wednesday, I head out to Yosemite for a "girls' weekend." I can't wait. These are college girlfriends. We've been getting together almost every year - until COVID. I love these ladies!

    mel, I hope your sister can feel your love and support.

    Hugs to all, especially those I didn't mention.

    Carol

  • tanya_djamila
    tanya_djamila Member Posts: 1,541

    Good evening ladies

    Candy condolences to you dear sister. Amen to all the prayers said. Pocket duty Tuesday.

    Saidisservant sorry to hear about progression at any time for any of us.

    Emac well at least they forfeited out what it’s NOT. Hopefully you’ll get to the bottom of whatever’s going on soon.

    Boo-boo waving hello.

    Mel I hope your sister is home from the port mishap. You’ll be such a comfort to her as you know the ropes.

    KBL I know exactly what you mean. I read our living room with our normal Mara recipes, Maes travels and adventures, Candys appt list and it’s like a busy bunch of women living life.

    Tanya


  • cookie54
    cookie54 Member Posts: 851

    kbl- Perfectly stated I totally agree!

    Runor- I loved the way you described your wind chimes. I actually envisioned them and the peacefulness of them being moved.Beautiful.

    Good energy and prayers for strength going out to all who need it

  • kbl
    kbl Member Posts: 2,980

    Thank you all so very much for being here.

    Candy, I’m thinking of you at this sad time.

    I had a weird day yesterday. I had gone to eat at a neighbor’s house the night before. We had spaghetti squash spaghetti. It was really good. All day yesterday I was nauseous and laid in bed All Day, even took a short nap. I finally broke down last night and took an anti nausea med. I had to be desperate. I don’t like to take them because they constipate me. I went to bed at 10, woke up to pee once, and when I woke up this morning, I asked my husband what time it was. It was 7:00. Whew, what a day. I slept so good last night. I was shocked. Feeling much better today. So odd when things come out of the blue. Makes planning very difficult.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,511

    Candy, still thinking about you and in your pocket for moral support.

    KBL, sounds like there was something in that food that did not agree with you, I do know until I started using digestive enzymes, there were more and more foods that gave me the same symptoms as you experienced, glad you are feeling better.

    Holiday so not going anywhere. Washing all of my bedding in the tub. Added detergent, agitated in tub with washing wand and soaking the bedding for half an hour or so, rinse and then spin. I have the big spinner for blankets and it works quite well. While the first set are in the dryer, will put the other three larger blankets in.

    Today's breakfast will probably be an english muffin with butter with a spread containing roasted black beans and corn and bound together with heated refried beans. Figure that adding ketchup, mustard and mayo will make it quite good. We will see. Edited to say the english muffin was unnecessary, the combo of roasted black beans and corn along with refried beans all heated together with some garlic and the ketchup and mustard and mixed together, made a rather messy looking but certainly fine tasting brunch. I confess that I do not enjoy whole wheat english muffins, that was a mistake in my walmart delivery. Might try making them crispy, chopping up and mixing a little peanut butter as a possible snack.

    I am going to make a nacho riff with the roasted beans and corn with beefless ground. Queso will be used and it all will heat for about a minute in the microwave and I am sure I will quite love it.

    Last night I did use up some leftover pasta by just putting in sauce pan, used some left over garlic oil heated up. Added an egg for protein, bit of wheat bran, italian seasoning, salt and used caesar dressing, really good meal and used up the cooked pasta.

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,057

    our washer pooped out last night. So …… a purchase needs to occur. So yuck. My sister is still in the hospital. But we are hopeful her body is fighting did good with her first chemo. Hope KBL is feeling better. Holiday so like Mara. Not doing anything either except napping !

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,511

    Mel, that sucks to have to buy a new washer. I know your washer would have been more expensive than anything I use. Glad your sister's first chemo seems to have gone well, good to hear.

    I've already decided if I require a new washer for my cloths and towels, I will upgrade to the automatic one. Not going to buy the same small kind again. I have already been mapping out in my head where to keep it permanently hooked up in the kitchen and where stuff could move. That is a ways away though. Second option is just putting wash in the tub all the time and agitating with the wand and spinning everything. We will see.


  • mocogram
    mocogram Member Posts: 94

    Mara, if you don't mind my asking, what digestive enzymes do you take? I have digestive issues with many foods, including raw vegs, tomato sauce, sugar. I recently started taking probiotics and they have helped. But, I'm still exploring other ways to help comfortably digest food. Thanks, MoCoGram (Jan)

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,723

    mara, I have a similar question. Did the digestive enzymes CAUSE digestive upset, or did you have the upset BEFORE you started taking the enzymes? I've started using Benefiber with pre and probiotics. That with chia pudding seems to keep things moving.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,511

    I started to take the enzymes once more and more foods started causing, nausea, vomiting and sometimes diarrhea. I think steroids made it more difficult.

    In the US, this would be a good enzyme. https://www.amazon.com/Supplements-Formulated-Bromelain-Pancreatin-NOW1396/dp/B075JJYQ5T/ref=sr_1_5?crid=1C14Q563GLQUY&keywords=now+super+enzymes&qid=1662408454&sprefix=now+super+enzymes%2Caps%2C114&sr=8-5

    It offers the ability to absorb more things like protein, fats and carbs. I take the enzymes before EVERY meal but I use the Canadian equivalent of this one. I have no side effects and it does not take long to improve things. It is the Now that is linked above on amazon.com for the US people.

    In Canada, this is what I use that comes from Amazon Webber naturals Complete Digestive enzymes Capsules, 180 Count



  • kbl
    kbl Member Posts: 2,980

    Thank you, Mara and Mel. I was taking a probiotic for a while, but I stopped. Probably a good idea to get back on. I haven't had issues to the point I had to take something until yesterday.


    Mel, I hope your sister is out soon.

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,057

    KBL~ thank you. She’s really having a hard time. I wanted to go visit her today but there was talk of releasing her. FingersCrossed but since it was Labor Day not much went on. I’ll go to her house then she settles in. She’s one tough woman. I know breast cancer is different from lymphoma, but the chemo effects have to be similar. I just want her home safely.

    I was having an awful time with my stomach and probiotics and irregularity, painful as well. I’m realizing I just can’t eat like I used to. Those days. Along with a lot of others are just gone. Sucks. Feel better please.

    Love to all

  • booboo1
    booboo1 Member Posts: 1,196

    Mel,

    I hold my breath when my little sister (ok, she’s 58, but she’s still my little sister) calls. She was dx the year before me, and I am praying that she will not have to experience metastatic disease. It’s also very hard to help when we are already feeling tired and worn out by everything MBC throws at us. Hang in there. As Michael Jordon says, “Another day, another opportunity to prove everyone who doubts you wrong.”

    Now about that washer. Ugh! Really? Our Keurig coffeemaker broke last week, and like a washer, you just can’t be without it. I bought a new one on Amazon, and thank goodness it arrived the next day. Some things you just have to have.

    Waving hi to all. Hope those who celebrated the holiday enjoyed it. I’m guessing the parents out there are glad to put your kiddos on the school bus!


  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,511

    Laurie, I certainly agree about washers. Even though mine is so tiny, it does all cloths I use (a lot) in a day, they are used for bathroom, dusting, dishes, washing my face and more. Clothes are also done there. Throw blankets can go in portable though bathtub works better for those. Keurigs are a hot commodity too. Another two things I would replace straight away would be my breville, kind of like having two ovens I can choose from.

    Not sure what else I am doing today, just doing survey type stuff, groceries are definitely not needed as my huge order is being used up. Got to be more careful with shopping this month. Consuming more rice and pasta with the beans.

    Breakfast is going to be 1/4 cup rice made in hotwater seasoned with barbecue and taco seasoning. 1/4 cup corn and 1/4 cup black beans roasted, once they cool off, I will add all to a fry pan along with an egg, top with wheat bran, salt and italian seasoning and a mix of caesar dressing along mixed with sour cream and small amount of ranch stirred since it has fewer calories. Other meals may be a riff on the nacho chips with some cornflakes along with some refried beans and beefless ground along with the queso. We will see. Edited to add, this was a delicious combo and certainly fits the inexpensive budget meal to a tea.

    Thinking I will try to have a bowl of cornflakes with my chocolate milk and a bit of melted peanut butter as a meal. Will edit if is good. This combo was absolutely gross with cornflakes and chocolate milk. I did have just the peanut butter at suppertime and that was still good.

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,057

    My sister,maybe she'll get released today. my new washer came. It's very nice. No more jet engine landing in my laundry room. Hope all is well for everyone.
    hi kitty. ! Meant to say hello last post. Good to see you.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,511

    Mel, glad your washer came and that you really like it. I can say that my portable washer spinner is the same sort of noise too.

    As far as different cancers between your sister's lymphona and your BC, you can help when she mentions side effects of particular drugs and offering advice to treat the side effects of chemo. Hopefully they are not too rough for her, still in your pockets as well.

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,057

    my family just cannot win, the washer is defective. So we have to play the game. How frustrating. Ugh. I could let out a big ole roar!!!!!! Grrrr

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,511

    Mel, that is horrible, I'm sorry the new one is defective. I would be yelling and screaming for sure, hope you get replaced soon. They should come and take the old one away for you.