My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Candy I am so happy to hear that your fevers have stopped now, may it keep up.
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Mel—- hugs as you have to deal with all the pain and sorrow.
Candy— glad your mysterious fever cleared up.
As Candy wrote, I read here as I can but don’t have the strength or mental clarity to name every and provide support . Hate cancer
Just started months IV chemo last week Never been so out of mind Feel chemo fog encapsulated my entire body Can’t seem to do ANYTHING right now Taking Compazine and Zofran every few hours. No appetite but know I have to eat every 2-3 hours sigh
Waving to each of you. Just can’t take notes to comment to each of you
End of my sad rant
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Well, looks like I need to exercise regularly due to BP being higher than it should be. I have lost 5lbs but need to do more as I would prefer no meds and am typically low.
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Mel,
Are you still seeing your psychiatrist/therapist? There is only so much that any of us can mentally handle, and it sounds like you would benefit from talking to her (I think it was a woman, right?). You know I care so much for you and hate to see one of my MBC sisters having such a hard time. Or reach out to me via PM. I really do care.
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Wow, feel like I was at work today. Was at the cancer clinic 6 hours between bloodwork, seeing my MO which was good, calls me her miracle patient. Bloodwork perfect as she said, WBC and RBC good. Only hiccup was a higher BP but that seems to be a one off.
They fed me well in the chemo suite, I asked if they had snacks so had ginger ale, couple of cheese sticks and digestive cookies. It actually gave me enough energy to decide to walk home. I would have had to wait for an hour and I was not interested in waiting that long for the bus. No cane but made sure both arms moving at sides of body, seems to make my feet behave better and not just go all over. I still prefer cane but since I took UBER this morning, did not have it with me.
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Mel- I am thinking of you during this difficult time. Booboo had a great suggestion regarding another psychologist visit. We all wish we could be in your living room circling you with good thoughts.
Dodgersgirl - i understand the effects of IV chemo where you don't know which end is up. It's not a sad rant but a true sentiment of what this sucky cancer does to us.
Candy- happy to hear the mysterious fever has finally gone!
Hello to Mara, Mae, Seeq, Kittykat, Booboo , Goldens and everyone I have missed.
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Hello ladies. Thanks so much for even caring. I was seeing my therapist every other week and the co pays just got To expensive. Along with medication I just had to stop for a while. But maybe it's a good idea to have a few. I feel so sad. I am helpless and want to hold her hand. My sister shaved her hair today so that was emotional so there's that also. Just want things to be good and they are clearly not. I don't understand why we all can't get a break here. But I have to be. Thankful my daughter just had a cyst and that I'm stable as can be. I have to look at something good. I'm trying to keep it together. DH helps a lot also. Hope you're all doing ok and I am still showing up for pocket duty. Hope people's pain is healing. Candy. I'm so glad the fevers stopped!!! Hugs to you! All of you….
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mel: or my dear sister. I keep wanting to say something...........words.....just failing at it. I wish your living room was real. Then we could all gather and turn up the music of Big D and The Barfs. Play it so loud that it would drown out our screaming and crying. Maybe go against our MO's recommendations and have a drink or two too many and dance like we are possessed. Tear our clothing. Flail. Anything to drive all this shit out.
I care about every one if you. ALL of you.
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Well,I'm back in hospital for emergency surgery to drain that abcess again, wish me luck
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oh kitty!!!! Noooo! I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope it’s a speedy thing and you can get out of there. I’ll be in your pocket. Hugs to tou
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Mel, glad that the support from here is helping you. We are always in your pocket lending our support for everything you are dealing with at this time, keep us posted, sending support to your Mom and sister as well.
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Thanks Mel, I should be going home tomorrow, hopefully they got it right this time, it would be nice to be able to sit without pain. I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time right now, that feeling of helplessness can be so overwhelming, I hope you can talk to your psychologist to help with everything you've been having to cope with recently, sending you big warm hugs, with love from Cathie XOXO
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thanks Kitty…. I hope you’re sprung from the hospital really quickly! Hugs to you too!
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Kitty: this crap never ends, does it? I hope it gets cleared up for good this go around.
mel: I remember your posts about your dear father and the amazing love and attention you showed him. Now your mother, your sister, your daughter. No wonder you are totally wrung out.
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Kitty, ugh! So sorry you are going through all this. I hope you are home tomorrow and are pain-free soon.
Mel, I am thinking of you, your mom, and your sister. Sending you hugs.
Candy, I hope the reduced dose helps relieves the SEs you have suffered through for so long. You deserve a break,
Hello to everyone here. So many are going through hard to ones right now. I sure do wish a magic wand would fix everything immediate.
Lynne
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kittykat, I hope this gets fixed quickly!
mel, as others have said, there are no words. Life just plain sucks sometimes and there seems to be no way around it!
Candy, I hope your fevers stay down!
To all the rest in mel's living room, I wish you a peaceful day.
Carol
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livingivlife- thank yo
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KittyKat— sending lots of hugs
In your pocke
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G'day all, thankyou, looks like I'll definitely be going home this afternoon with home nursing to change the bandage, yay.
Candy, so glad the fevers have gone, I hope the reduced dosage of lymparza can help with your tummy issues and you can have a better quality of life and not be stuck at home more than you wish to be.
I hope everyone else is travelling as well as you can, as we say down here.
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Rosie24 I have had kyphoplasty twice. I hope everything turns out well.
Mel your plate is definitely full. Sounds like pounding stress with your mom and sister. I think speaking with a therapist again would be helpful. Sucks that basic care comes down to money.
Kitty I hope your home by now resting and not having any discomfort.
Candy that’s great news about the mysterious fevers.
Mara that must’ve felt wonderful to hear your doctor say that about you!
Good to see you all elderberry SeeQ Mae boo-boo 50’s girl dodgers Livingiv. And of course everyone I missed.
Tany
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I said this to my Mum today, when we were talking on the phone about eating comfort food: "I'd rather have the dopamine than the spinach". So true. Even though I do love spinach! But my soul needs comfort more.
My husband is now wearing a catheter at home, and of course it ended up leaking on the area rug in our living room. Went ahead and ordered one of those rugs you can throw in the washer. Really been struggling to focus on gratitude lately, have had bouts of crying that feel like I'm losing my marbles. How is it fair that we both have cancer? If course, any sentence that begins How Is It Fair is ridiculous, obviously. There's no Fair about any of this, for any of us.
Thinking of you Mel, and all the emotional struggles you're going through. Candy, I hope your fevers stay gone! Kittykat, hope they did drain the abscess correctly and you're home. Dodgersgirl, hope the chemo side effects ease for you, those are so awful. Mara, hope you've gotten some good sleep! Love to everyone, Kikomoon, Living, Mae, Booboo, SeeQ, Goldens, Sunshine, Tanya, Rosie, everyone, everyone of us.
And Elderberry, ooh, yes please to the dancing like we're possessed!!
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SF cakes, it is not fair that you both have cancer at the same time. I struggled through a shorter timeframe than you are as my Mom was officially dx and died a couple of months later though I had to take over the housework and she would drive to the grocery store and I went and walked around, It is not fair at all and I hate people saying well life is not fair. I will be offering support in your pockets together.
Mel, still sending support your way as well dealing with all these issues at the same time as well.
I am not sure what if anything I want to do, thinking I want my 10000 steps but doing smaller walks. Probably Leslie Sansone 3 to 5 minute walks as I need to include survey time to add funds to my account.
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Kittykat- I am sure you are home now, resting and dealing with less pain. In your pocket!
SF cakes- no it is not fair as they say that you are dealing with double the stress as both you and your husband deal with cancer. Bring on the comfort food!
I have a friend who always says if something stressful happens that we have paid our dues. I don't know what dues we all have paid or haven't paid but I don't think we owe this much to go through what each of us are dealing with!
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SF cakes, it really isn't fair at all, I'm so sorry this has happened to you and DH, another saying that really gets to me in a bad way is we are never given more than we can handle, I call total bs on that one, I think I can say I dislike that one more than any other one I've had thrown at me. I'm home, still a bit sore but hopefully that will clear up in the next couple of days. I'm staying on verzenio and fulvestrant for the next 8 weeks until we get a petscan done for a new baseline then we're going with the carboplatin, gemzar combo, not really looking forward to that. Still got to see the oral surgeon about the ONJ and the new mri in 5 weeks to see if I can get targeted or whole brain radiation for these mets it's all happening right now, I'd love some downtime but I can't see that happening anytime soon, maybe next year I'll catch a break. I hope you all have a relaxing weekend, I'm just going to chill and catch my breath for a couple of days. Night all.
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Kitty Kat, keep us posted here or on brain mets sisters once your treatment has been decided for the brain mets. I am in your pocket.
SF cakes, pretty sure I have said it but will say it again, I am sorry that you and your husband are going through this together. Pocket duty for you both.
Well, I think I am a PIA for the property manager. Nothing too major but noticed that residents are just tossing flyers on the top of the mailbox. I picked up as much as I can carry and sorted stuff that can be recycled and stuff that needs shredding. I will try to pick it up so there is not so much piling up. Asked the property manager to email residents that it is their responsibility to take the flyers and sort properly. I will not leave a note because I am not in charge of the building but will keep the area more clean since it bothers me. Might as well solve problems instead of complaining constantly. Going to vacuum the dust off the floor later I think. My SIL does not want me to but I cannot stand how it looks on my floor, may also clean the railings I touch as I come in.
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The flu shot I got on Tuesday is still giving me a really painful arm, as per usual. Whhhhyyyyy. I know thats the least of my problems, but its really the most annoying.
Cakes - I think its a feeling of 'one more damn thing to deal with' and never getting a break, you just dont know on any given day what its going to be. Everyone else seems to get a break, why dont we? And by break I mean something good happening, from out of the blue, that takes away the drudge of it all. Maybe the publishers clearing house van showing up at the door with cake and balloons. I dont even need the check, just some cake and balloons. Gratitude only gets you so far, at some point I expect the universe to cough up a surprise.
Today I committed myself to trying the really gross local pool again, but the outdoor side (its heated). I need to swim, its my happy place. It worked well enough that I think I can tolerate it twice a week, but the mixed changing room thing in the UK is SO WEIRD. Everyone is concerned about shielding kids from harm and yet some 60yr old man with saggy everything below the waist, including his speedo, is allowed to walk around kids/women in a changing room? Not even the Scandis do this. Make it make sense!
Hello to all - I hope the weekend brings something good, even in small doses, to everyone!
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Well, I’m a few pages behind again, not sure how that happened. Thinking of everyone going through crappy situations right now and hoping things turn around.
The boys woke us up at 3am, poor tiny things were cold. The temp dropped to 37, so we had them in bed with us and turned on the electric blankets, they loved that, lol.
High winds today and a “feels like” temp of 28 this morning, yikes! But DH is finishing the AC/Heater installation in my bar today, very nice of him, I’m sure he’d rather stay in bed.
We head to Houston on Monday for my scans and follow ups Tuesday-Friday, then a friends 50th birthday party on Saturday before coming home. I’m really looking forward to the warmer weather this trip and need to get winter clothes out of storage while in town.
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Sondra-They have mixed changing rooms at pools in the UK??? How long has that been in place? It sounds awful to me. I guess I would come with my bathing suit under my clothes and go home in a wet suit. It is just one of those weird cultural differences? (Sorry if I am offending any of our British sisters). Yuck!!!
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yeah I wouldn’t want to see anyone’s parts. . Scary never heard of that before. I can’t even imagine What about kids!
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SFcakes, I am sorry you and DH are going through all this. No it isn't fair for any of us.
Kitty I don't like that saying either! Thank goodness no one has said that to me, at least not yet! Glad you are home.
Mara the property manager is too lucky to have you as a resident! You should tell them where to go and to pick up their own mess!
Sondra, ewwww! Hope you get some swimming without having to look at saggy man stuffs.
Mae, I can just see those cute pups all cozy and warm in your bed.In your pocket for scans next week.
Well I was completely useless yesterday, could barely keep my eyes open, all day! Today was better but just hit a wall. Going to attempt to venture out to the Dia de los Muertos festival tomorrow. Weather should be perfect at 75 degrees.
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