My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Goldens - that is such an adorable photo. I love the drawn on moustache! :P
Back from our short two days away, the spa was nice, got some Xmas shopping done, had a few really good dinners. We agreed to no work talk and it was great - think we will stick to it. Two more weeks left of this stupid project and then Im free. The cats clearly missed us and have practically velcroed themselves to our laps since we got back last night... not sure who wants to tell them we are heading out longer soon. I honestly wish we could just load them onto the plane like we used to load them into the car driving across WI for the holidays. It would save both the sad kitty trauma of leaving them and then the needy kitty harassment of return!
Heavy rain and wind here last few days, including tonight. May make soup tonight or Indian ready meal - depends on if the latter was on sale at the store when partner stops in. Guess ill go get a workout in now while I wait - an hour a day keeps the barfs away!
Love to all and hugs for those going through particularly challenging times.
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A few days ago I read some poss and thought 'l'll go back in another day or so and post"
I should know better. This thread moves fast.
I finally got to see my "American Sister", the first I have seen her since Dec 2019. Amtrak was running so she hopped the train. It was only for three nights but it was so great. We played music (ukuleles), danced to CD's, made some great meals, laughed.
kittykat: I hope this will be your last trip back and forth from the hospital and the infection will be gone for good
Candy: a mysterious fever. What was it? Maybe you could add Boost or Ensure as a "snack" and try to bring up your calorie intake and gain some weight
SFcakes: so unfair that both of you have cancer. I don;t think misery loves company applies here.
Sondra: mixed dressing rooms. I would have to avert my eyes from all those dangly bits.
Mae: have a safe trip to Houston and keep us posted on scans and such. HOw do you travel with the pups?
Mel: What a sad emotional time for you. I hope your mother will be able to settle in with a room-mate. I wouldn't be happy. Just hope the room-mate isn't crazy or demanding or worse.
LivingIVLife: Paying our dues?! Dues for what? A club? We must all be waaaay behind in paying up.
And BS to anyone who says "You never get given more than you can handle".....usually God is thrown into that comment
Mara We had a Dyson and things were always breaking or falling off. The customer service was great, we essentially got a new machine as all the busted parts got replaced.
Hi to anyone I missed
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I just returned from wishing DH a happy birthday at his memory place. He was able to transfer from the chair to his wheelchair without assistance. He has Parkinson type symptoms, so being able to do that was real progress. It's hard for him to remember he can't stand and walk to the bathroom without help. He recognizes me and is always happy to see me, so that is nice. He's still worried about the car he sold two years ago. He says he's working in the yard, which he used to do all the time. It's a shame. We had a front yard full of flowers and people would stop and admire it with him.
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So I’m 2 weeks post-op and saw my Ortho for first visit. Staples were removed and the doc and his PA were thrilled with my progress. Was told that I am way ahead of most folks 2 weeks post knee replacement. I’ve been working hard at home on my therapy and it is paying off. Not an easy thing. They were right when they said knee replacement is worse than hip! My left shoulder was xrayed and is a hot mess. So much osteoarthritis. Only recourse is shoulder replacement. Doc won’t perform one for 3 months plus hubs is having his knee replaced in early January. I did get a steroid injection so fingers crossed I get some pain relief. Need to squeeze a shoulder replacement in somewhere.
Thinking of all you sisters Hugs!
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Wren- my husband's brother has Parkinsons. It is very hard to deal with but happy to hear you had a good time.
Goldens- pretty soon you'll be our bionic woman!
It was my birthday today. Had special son out. He loves to blow out the candles on the cupcakes 🧁 Birthdays are nothing really special except I am happy to still be here another year! DH and I may go out for dinner on the weekend.
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livinglife - Happy Birthday! May you have many more years of being with your special son to blow out candles!
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Happy Birthday, LivingIVLife.
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Candy—- I was losing weight when I started Xeloda. My PCP suggested I keep a food log, tracking calories. Turned out I thought I was eating a lot as I was eating every 3-4 hours due to nausea but I was barely consuming 1,100 calories.
As I watched calories in numbers, my weight loss stopped.
Maybe you would have similar luck?
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living~ happy birthday!!!!
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Happy Birthday Living, glad you had a good time.
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Happy birthday 🎂 living, I'm glad you and your special son had fun blowing out the candles 🕯
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Happy birthday living. Cupcake candles sounds like so much fun.
Tany
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Happy Birthday, Living. I hope you have many many more!!
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Happy Birthday, Living. May you have many more. May we all.
Dodgers-- I just did a mini check on calorie numbers just yesterday. Not specific, but basically, I consumed 300 calories for breakfast, 300 for lunch, and 500-600 for supper. I don't snack in between. So yesterday was 1100-1200 calories. And that was a "good day". That was pushing it to eat. So I normally probably consume 900-1000 calories if I had to guess. I do need to keep a more specific log. I logged my temps multiple times a day for a month!!
Hi to all.
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Hi I am new here to this thread but not new to the boards. For those that don't know me I have Stage 4 TNBC (use to be ER+) mets in bone, liver, now lung and brain... I am about to start Gem/Carbo and to be honest im terrified..not of the Gem...but of the carbo I know it can work great but also know it can be very hard. I am on my 8th line...
Yesterday finding out about the brain mets...(I am suppose to get a call to have cyber knife done)...but my husband and I had to face the fact that it may not be Gods will for me to be healed. (If you don't believe in the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob I respectfully ask you not be disrespectful or comment)....My husband sobbed for hours...I sobbed..but to be honest I really think I am in denial... I know you are all probably laughing..."denial...you have had breast cancer for 3 and half years".... (another reason I love the Father, it was only HIM answering all the prayers of the brothers and sisters praying for me that has kept me alive for over 3 years, as I have NOT had ANY treatment work more than 4 months, as some of you know - CANDY).... Anyway yes, denial... there is a part of me that is saying..."this cant be happening to you...you are not going to die from this...other people may, but no, not me"..... I don't want to be in denial anymore..I want to accept this...and I just don't know how???!!! As I sit here venting to you all typing this...sobbing... all I can think of is that I spent the last 14 years possibly preparing my husband for someone else. Someone else is going to be living MY LIFE!!!!! If you are one of those people that feels "Oh I want my husband to move on" etc... please don't reply. I don't want my husband to be miserable..but I wont lie I do feel like someone else will be living MY future life with him. I am just trying accept all this. I think I also need to post it in my FB group.,... I don't know how often you all post here and I just need to hear some words of anything from you all.
thanks for listening..
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I hope it’s ok for me to pop in. I don’t have MBC but I recently was diagnosed with primary peritoneal cancer (treated as ovarian as source not known yet) which is “treatable but not curable.” There are cancerous spots throughout my abdomen.
I also just found out I have the BRCA 1 gene, which I wasn’t tested for when I had breast cancer three years ago. So now my family members are being tested.
I am currently having chemo (carboplatin/taxol) - 3 cycles, 3 weeks apart. Then I’ll have a major debulking surgery where they will determine stage and primary source. Then 3 more cycles of chemo. Ovarian cancer recurrence is pretty much a given.
I’m 62 and retired. Our plans are upended and I am overwhelmed at living with this for the rest of my life.
You are all going through similar feelings so your posts resonated with me.
Thanks
Br
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Nicole ~ I have all the same feelings. That is why I made this thread. My heart shatters for you. I've not yet reached acceptance. I don't know if I ever will. My DH and I have sobbed I have been in that shoe. Just fight like crazy and take it one day at a time. Living our life in spite of cancer may lead to accepting what is happening. I'm doing my best to reach peace as you seek as well. I don't want my DH moving on. That's my chair on the porch. Next to him. I hope things improve for you as you venture into this next treatment. My heart is heavy for you
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Moxie~ you're welcome here anytime to share feelings or frustrations. I am sorry you're going through all of this crap. I also, still can't believe the hand I have been dealt either. Just try to know as you read our posts. You're not alone in the battle! Day by day. Hugs to you.
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Nicolerod, I am sorry to hear about your brain mets, they are very treatable so that is a comfort. If you have questions PM me or join us on the Brain Mets Sister for some extra info as well, stay with here for good support as well. I don't blame you for not wanting your husband to move on but lets not go that far right now. One day at a time, yes, you should set up final wishes but know it won't likely be in the near future. In your pocket supporting you.
Moxie, I agree with with Mel, welcome, this thread is for all stages to contribute and we like to hear many voices.
I am not doing much today so far, just about to do a Leslie Sansone mile walk, starting with 3 miles a day indoors. I figure I can do some mall walking, maybe twice a week, we will see.
Laundry done, soaking dishes, I am lazy and cannot be bothered scrubbing so I soak for an hour.
Weird breakfast addition. I have decided to eat more beans than beefless ground to save money. Had 3/4 cup of beans, 1/4 cup corn and a small handful of the mr noodles pasta. I took the juice out of the canned beans and added garlic and everything bagel to it. Put the beans and noodles on a plate, poured the seasoned bean juice to bind and heated 60 seconds in the microwave, it was actually really good. I will not try to keep the juice from the beans more than a couple of days.
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Nice to see you on this Thread NicoleRod. Yes, I have followed your story on the other Threads. I cannot help you with your concerns with your husband, as I am single. But I do wish the best for you. I hope they can zap those brain mets and you do ok with the Gem/Carbo chemo. I fear brain mets. Yes I am ER+/PR+ HER2- (HER2 low at 2+), but most recent liver biopsy showed ER flipped to negative. And my older sister died last summer of MBC with brain mets. She was ER-/PR- and HER2+. I too am a Christian, but your Faith seems stronger than mine. I will pray for you. Keep posting on this Thread and Welcome to Mel's Living Room.
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I have to write my comments in a Word document, then copy and paste them. Otherwise, I can't remember who said what…
Mel, thinking of you and your and your family.
Candy, I wish I knew what to say. Unexplained fevers, unexplained weightloss… I'd be concerned, too! Something isn't right. I wish someone could get to the bottom of it.
Sondra, we've had a few days of Fall/Winter weather here in San Diego. Don't laugh, everyone! We actually have snow in our local mountains. Rain is so rare for us that it's a big deal when it happens. We're supposed to get .7 of an inch on Sunday night. Some streets will be closed due to flooding.
Elderberry, I was away ONE DAY and found about four pages of posts to read.
Awww, wren, I'm glad you were able to visit your DH on his birthday.
Goldens, I'm glad you are recovering. Staples look so awful, but I found they were less painful to remove than stitches. Either one gives me the willies, though. Bummer needing a shoulder replacement, though.
Deb, happy belated birthday. My DH's birthday is today. We make apple pies the whole month of November. We're a good pie-making team.
Nicolerod, I'm so sorry. I understand your comment about the will of God. I totally get that. I will pray for God's perfect peace for you and your dear husband, too. Have you looked at the thread for Christian Women? I don't remember the whole name, but I'll come back and edit my post with the correct name. If you're already there, please accept my apologies. I'm embarrassed when I don't remember things.
Moxie, wow, I'm sorry for all you're going through! That's a lot to deal with. This group is a wonderful support to all of us! We come, we vent, we cry, we laugh, we ask, "How in the world am I supposed to DO this???"
My artisan bread making attempts are going really well – much to my surprise. Who'd have thought I could actually make bread that anyone would want to eat. It tastes like the bread from our local artisan bakery!
I've now slept decently the past three nights. I'm so thankful!
Waving "hi" to everyone around the living room.
Carol
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/104/topic...
Above is the link to "Thread for Middle Age to Older Christian Women"
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Thank you Micmel
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Thank you all.
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Popping in real quick with an update. My CT and bone scans are stable per MO but the report seems a bit better saying, “no evidence of metastatic cancer in chest, abdomen or pelvis” and “no suspicious bone lesions”. I’ll have the results of todays brain MRI on Monday, which is always my main concern. Houston is buzzing being tied in a World Series run, I hope Astros win, even though I don’t care about baseball. Last medical appointment tomorrow and heading home on Sunday.
Waving hi to all 😁
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Mae, great scan results. Will be in your pocket til brain results come in.
Had a good time with DB, SIL and nephew. Walked around Costco which was good. My DB had to help me in with a giant box of litter and when he saw the sorry state of my hallway with all the drywall dust on the floor, he asked me to email him the property managers address, pretty sure he will raise some concerns, he does not mess around when it comes to me. We will see.
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sunshine -artisan bread sounds delightful. I love bread.
Mara your DB sound like an amazing support for you. His response made me smile.
Mae I don’t follow baseball but there’s nothing like cheering for the home team and you. Pocket duty till brain results are in.
Moxie welcome to the living room. The treatments and se’s are always so scary. The main thing is if the treatment works for you. I haven’t had that particular chemo-hopefully someone has and can share some tips.
Nicolerod the reason I came to this thread was Mel’s initial statement. The awful thought that someone will fill the space I leave. I pray you find some peace and comfort here. Sending hugs.
Kitty I hope you’re doing ok
Mel I hope you’re doing ok today. I think of you and your mom and sister both getting Ill at the same time. You’ve been such a support for us all and I hope your Dh lovely children and painting are bringing you some comfort
Waving hello to all
Tanya
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Illiemae, Great news on scans so far. Fingers crossed that results from brain scan will also be good news. Jan
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In everybody pocket who needs me as well and hope your days are better, Mel, sending more support your way with so much going on right now, feeling like you may need it.
Well, not much happening here. Just doing some small walks 500 steps at a time to reach as far as I can go, hoping 10000. Getting breakfast which will likely involve beans, eggs and such. Bought another chocolate milk (use that for the chocolate fix with more nutrition than chocolate bars) because I mistakenly bought 50 percent less sugar and it does not taste right to me, will mix the two to avoid the unpleasant taste.. I love my chocolate milk/peanut butter powder smoothies in the afternoon.
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thanks Mara. I am struggling to process the information from my sisters results. We have different cancers. There was mention of the cancer spreading to her bone marrow. Which is in no way good I don’t know too much about how they treat this but it scares me. She doesn’t deserve this. I cannot handle both of us fighting for our lives. It’s just unreal. Add my mother into this equation and my heart just explodes. Thank you all for even caring. I know we all have our tough things we’re going through. Hugs to all. And pocket duty as well.
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Nicolerod- it broke my heart to read your post. Keep faith and know there are many people on these forums who have great knowledge in treatments. I do not fight with denial however my family is in denial. May you find your peace through your faith.
Mara- your DB is a great support for you.
Mae- yay for great scan. In your pocket with leftover Halloween candy for brain results.
Ok I know I am really early but I have actually put up my Christmas lights outside. The weather has been beautiful still so out I went. Obviously I'm not putting them on yet!
Hello to all
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