Chemo starting April 2018
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IngerP, no I haven't had a haircut since it started growing out, but I am considering one because the ends are getting a little frizzy. And, yes, fatigue is a huge thing for me right now (and I am not on any meds, like AI). I almost feel as if I am more tired right now than when I was going through chemo last year. I did mention it to my MO and they said "well, chemo, plus 3 surgeries in a year, what do you expect?" They said to give it time and we'll heal. I am doing that, but also finding myself being far more sad right now than I was last year, too. Like Life, I am teary about most everything. Because I am exhausted? Because this is all finally hitting me? No idea.
Life, dang it, hoping those fleas die off soon! Years ago, we had a puppy who gifted us with fleas. It took multiple visits from Orkin to get rid of them. Good luck!
Also, considering yet another surgery - this one to replace my flat "pancake" implants with round, perky ones and to do a mastoplexy to raise the nipple line (sorry for TMI if you are reading, Engine). I REALLY don't want to go under the knife again, yet am not totally happy with what the PS put in and feel like I deserve to like them after all I've been through. I'm squabbling with my office about it, too. They are telling me it's cosmetic, therefore I do not deserve to have the (unpaid) time off and will have to wait until my vacation time rolls around again next year. I didn't get a vacation this year, since I spend it tending to Bryce and they wouldn't allow any additional unpaid time off (not even a long weekend). So if I have the surgery, I also get to skip a vacation next year and have surgery instead. Ugh. 2 years until retirement, maybe I should wait until then. Sorry for the rant.
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GAW--I feel like some of us are more emotional because our brain space has been freed up now that active treatment is <mostly> over. I tell people I've just been pissy lately--partly because of that but also because of the realization that all of this crap is nowhere near behind me (thinking mostly about the AI, but also the hair, the still funky toenails, . . .) I've read on other forums that a lot of us end up with PTSD, but it usually doesn't start until we're out of active treatment. GAW your MO didn't offer anything in the way of help for the fatigue? I've had some PMs with a woman from the triple positive board who's on Adderall.
Sorry about the surgery/vacation issue. Really does not seem fair. What's your insurance situation after retirement? Would that affect your decision? If it were me, I'd consider pushing it off until retirement if it's really only two years. Vacations are important and spending it under the knife + recovery doesn't sound good for your happiness.
I'm heading off to a dermatologist this afternoon for the first time in. . . 10-15 years? I hit my out-of-pocket maximum in January, so my health care is free the rest of the year. Not exactly looking forward to it--do I really have to get naked in front of a stranger? (I honestly don't remember what the exams are like!)
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IngerP, I hope all went well with the dermatologist today! You don't need anything else on your plate (oh, yeah, I forgot that big honking MOHS surgery I had on the basal cell skin cancer on my nose back in Feb...surgery #4 in a year, lol). No, the MO did not offer me anything to help with fatigue. I am sort of considering enrolling in a study here in town that is looking into giving riluzole for fatigue. It is used in treating ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease), but it's looking good to me right now. Be wary of Adderall, it can make one suicidal (happened to a relative who was on it. She went off it because of that.)
I totally agree with the PTSD thing...my niece (age 34) had a suspicious lump at her check up 2 weeks ago, so they did a diagnostic mammo on Monday. I've been giving her the "it'll be fine, our family has lumpy breasts, don't worry about it" speech for 10 days now to calm her down. When she texted to ask if it was bad that they were immediately taking her back for an ultrasound, I was all, "no, they're just being cautious, don't worry." When she texted that she got the all clear, I actually started crying - I was so relieved. I'm still teary off and on about it. It REALLY hit me hard. I feel like a big blubbering baby. Gosh, I'm whiny this week!!
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Hello,
People look lovely in new hairstyles. Life and Robin, that hair looks almost normal. Hmmm, hair straighteners, why did I not think of that before. My hair is a major mess. I have no clue what to do with it.
We have successfully moved houses...that was tiring, the packing and unpacking and then trying to remember what went where. Almost done now. In the meantime caught a viral then caught a cold and had to take anti biotics. Yesterday went to the dentist with swollen gums, some more antibiotics. 3 year pap smear coming up next week. So eventful times here. Anyways, its not bad. I try to compare everything with last year and think okay better this than that.
I love the house.😊. Its beautiful. I am counting on some of you guys to visit NZ someday.
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OK everybody I think it would be fantastic if we could all just pile in to Frog's place!!! Just Sayin.
Frog great picture! My SO told me the other day he misses my curly hair. That however does not mean I'm going to run out and get a perm! LOL Congratulations on the house! Moving can be very tedious long hard work but totally a payoff when you're done.
GaWarrier thanks for the heads up that it took you awhile to get your flea situation under control. That makes me feel better. I actually called Orkin representative and had a powwow with him. He is going to come back through and spray again. He said if it doesn't take care of it this time then he's going to bring his manager up and they're going to tag team the house and then just have me stay gone for a weekend. I'm getting so freaking tired of vacuuming my carpets and floor everyday. I'm going to have to admit it but I'm starting to do it every other day because when I clean at night, I don't want to have to come home and clean!
That sucks about your job not being very cooperative with you! That is pretty cool that you get a retire in 2 years. I went a meeting with our retirement company. He told me I had to put more money into my retirement plan. Ugg I'm going to end up retiring and still cleaning. Anyways doesn't look like I'll be looking at retirement for at least another eight to 10 years. Boo! Hiss!
Interg what are you going to the dermatologist about? I am going to the skin doctor because I have a few weird looking skin issues that I want to make sure are nothing bad or out of the ordinary.
Undrago I think it's great that you have enough self-awareness and confidence within yourself to know exactly what you need/want to do. You're absolutely right! There is no rush for dating. I was told a long time ago that if you keep looking for something you'll never find it, stop looking for it and you're liable to trip right over it. 🤔🤸😉
Well I guess I better get to vacuuming & getting this place cleaned up a little bit.
Hugs to you all!
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Frog you look wonderful. I've done a tiny bit with clipping back my hair (just for a different look) but I was never good with hair. I pretty much just wash it, rub some stuff in it, and tuck it behind my ears.
Life I too am sorry about those dang fleas. That would make me crazy. I only went to the dermatologist because I hadn't been in 10-15 years and it occurred to me a few months ago that since I hit my out-of-pocket maximum really early this year, all of my medical care the rest of this year costs me $0. It was easier than I thought (cannot say I was excited about someone going over every inch of my large old tubby body). She froze a few things off, took pictures of a few more, and was smart enough to recommend that instead of coming back in three months, I should come back in two, so it would still be calendar 2019. I did have her look at my funky big toenails--which still aren't normal from chemo. She said in her experience, after trauma (including chemo), they might never be the same again. I got a prescription for some stuff to put on in case there's any fungal component, but she also recommended something called Dermanail that a really old dermatologist who trained her was a fan of. Sounds like kind of a nail conditioner, like the eyelash conditioner I've been using. No longer in stores, but available online if anyone is interested. Actually--now that I think about it, my fingernails are not bad but are a little ridge-y and the little finger nails occasionally split. I was going to hold off until I'd used the prescription stuff for three months but maybe I'll go ahead and order some. Reviews on Amazon are pretty good!
We have one more day of intense heat here in the mid-Atlantic and then starting tomorrow--maybe, finally, fall is arriving. Highs are finally dropping to the 70s and even 60s in the extended forecast. Very happy about that!!
Tonight will be a fun night out with some gal pals--going to see the Linda Ronstadt movie!!
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Frog, you’re beautiful! Love your curls and your big smile! Congrats on the house too, when do we come for the housewarming? Just kidding
.Life, those damn fleas should’ve gotten the message by now and died! So sorry about it.
GAWarrior, I would’ve never guessed you can retire in two years! You look to be in your fifties, I swear! Your work time off thing sounds very unfair.
Ingerp, good luck with your toenails. Two of mine were funky as well during chemo, but somehow they grew out and now look totally normal.
In other news, I am looking into lymphedema surgery. I can’t live like that anymore. Waaaa!
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Hi all quick hair pick! Still curly but I think its relaxing a bit. Just got home tonight from work travels and heading to Wilderness State park other side of Mackinaw city but south side of Bridge. Yeppers, hauling the camper want to see the tunnel of tree fall colors.
Life, sorry about the flea its getting cold and soon all insert will be gone.
Frog, you deck and pic looks lovely and Im so happy for you! Btw, I might just be one that takes u up on that offer!
Gawarrior, Its really scary to hear that about a loved one bcuz honestly we never know. And I wld of cried as well..
Well I sent a pic to my MO which referred me to surgeon. Ive got a red spot thats appeared on my skin above my areola and another to the left of it near my lumpectomy surgery. She looked at it a week ago. Referred me to dermatologists. They called twice. Ive been so busy with work I finally called them back. The offices first question "have you had skin cancer"? Hmm, no!! So I go in on the 11th. I dont know what is happening. Its not changed any further, its wasnt there 2 month ago. Im still having problems with feeling sore like a deep bruise in my left hand and right shoulder heat helps. Other than that I think Im doing well.. always on the GO!!
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Innab what is lymphedema surgery?
Undrago. Nice picture. Sounds like your have a great time pulling your campier on down the road to experience nature's awsome beauties. Have as great time and share pictures please.
Well I am off to bed. I am pooped tonight.
Huggs
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urdrago--that is definitely straightening. Look at the front part!
I hope everyone has a lovely fall weekend. :-)
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its straight bcuz Ive curled it. Its weird but when u curl it flattens the curly hair out. See photo it looks flat but add humidity or water and Im curly again. I left the back curly
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Undrago. I am lovin this picture!
I am going to try and curl mine and see how it turns out.
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Life, Im so happy I posted it ..we never know til we try!
Cyber huges
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Life, there are two surgeries for lymphedema, they have fancy names but they boil down to lymph vessels transfer and lymph node transfer. Some conditions require a combination of the two. I'll know more after my appointment with the surgeon on Nov 6.
Urdrago, you look adorable!
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Hi all! Sorry I've been MIA.
Daughter had a nervous breakdown in August and I spent a couple of months living with her as she adjusted with a move, new job etc. Things are finally starting to calm down.
I've loved seeing all your hair pictures. I finally decided to do a color a few weeks ago. Mostly because I'm very frustrated with how thin my hair has become. This is my fall changing of colours copper with a little pink.
My nails still suck and Urdrago if you see that red dot near my shirt V. I think it may be a Basal Cell Carcinoma. I had one years ago and this one reminds me of it. Getting scheduled at my dermatologist soon to have it looked at.
Frog - congrats on the new home. Life - I hope flea issue is a thing of the past maybe the cold winter weather will help with that. Engine, Alaska cruise looks amazing. GAW Fatigue is on my list for my quarterly appointment with MO. I'd hope regular exercise would help but I've been running regularly for awhile and I'm still needing 9+ hours of sleep. InnaB - sorry to hear about the lymphedema.
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Duffy, I super love your hair color! Im almost at a length that Im thinking about tossing in additional color like, mahogany. So glad to hear from you. Let me know what the dermatologists says about the red dot. I thought i was getting into a dermatologists quickly but miss spoke and realize its next month. Glad things are going better for your daughter. life is a yoyo we get bumped around, and can always use support !
My nail suck as well, they are brittle.
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Duffy, so great to hear from you! I'm glad your daughter is doing better. Lots of changes all at once can be overwhelming for sure. I LOVE your hair! Good luck with the dermatologist. I'm sorta glad to hear that you are exhausted, too - sorry for you, but it makes me feel better. I have not run in weeks. I need to get back to it now that I am (mostly) over the cold that kicked my behind for the last two weeks.
Urdrago, you look great, too! Good luck with the red spots and with your pain. FWIW, I still have back pain sometimes, maybe yours is residual from chemo or rads? I have noticed that some of my SEs return for a little while, then disappear again. Maybe you are the same and the pain will settle down quickly.
InnaB, keep us posted on your possible lymphedema surgery.
I can't believe I'm doing this, but I did decide to have the implant swap/mastectomy/fat grafting surgery right before Thanksgiving. And, I'm only taking a week off so that I can also have a vacation this upcoming year. I should probably have my head examined. At least I will get Thanksgiving week off, so we're heading to my daughter's in Tampa for most of the holiday week.
Have a great weekend, everyone!
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duffy--I am so sorry about your daughter. There's nothing worse than unhappy/unsettled kids. I hope she continues to stabilize and can begin to enjoy her new life. You picked the perfect background for your rockin' new hair color!! I'm a little jealous about how straight it is--I still feel like I (and GAW??) are nowhere near getting our normal hair back. I might hit you up--a friend of a friend contacted me because she was recently dx'd. She's also ER-/PR-/HER2+ and I really don't know much about that particular combo. She has small tumors in both breasts and will have lumpectomies next week.
I'm also glad to hear others are struggling with fatigue. I wouldn't say it's overwhelming, but on weekdays I often lie down on the floor for half an hour at lunchtime, and I recently had a wedding absolutely ruined because I had fatigue like I hadn't felt since rads (which ended a year ago!). Definitely planning on bringing it up with my MO at my six-month follow-up on 11/1. I know some women from other threads who have been prescribed Adderall or Ritalin or something like that. Has anyone else heard of this? I guess what I'm dreading is that she'll tell me I just have to live with it.
Re: nails--I went to a dermatologist a few weeks ago, just cuz I hadn't been in forever and I hit my out-of-pocket maximum in January this year (thanks Herceptin!). Nothing too bad going on--she froze a few things off (easy-peasy! why didn't I do this years ago!!) but we also talked about my nails. I did get a prescription anti-fungal for my toenails (she wasn't sure what's going on with them, but I have had issues with that in the past and she said I should try this--haven't started yet cuz I don't think I can wear nail polish while I'm using the medicine and I'm kinda waiting to get out of sandal season). She said that she's found after nail trauma, including chemo, it can take *years* for them to recover. She also told me about an OTC product that a really old dermatologist told her about back when she was in training. It's called DermaNail. Available on Amazon, but also through the manufacturer's website, and actually cheaper there if you buy two bottles. I did that and keep one in the kitchen for mornings and one by my bed for nighttime. She suggested I use the prescription stuff on my toesies, and follow with the DermaNail, but I realized my fingernails are still ridge-y and a little brittle, so I started using it on them a few weeks ago. It's one of these things that they'll warn you takes several months to work, but it has really good reviews so I'm going to stick with it and see if I notice a difference maybe around the end of the year.
GAW--I totally get wanting to get that surgery behind you. I'm hoping you recover like a champ. When is the actual surgery date?
Life--how are the little critters??? Hopefully all gone!
<gotta toss in a "Go Nats!" can't say I'm a huge baseball fan but they are definitely my team and it's pretty exciting!!>
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Urdrago - I'll let you know what dermatologist says. My appointment is also in November. Such a fun month for medical appointments. I have my colonoscopy, dermatologist and MO all in the same week. Whoopee! I will say the receptionist at gastro office must have felt sorry for me after hearing my medical history because I get the easier prep called PlenVu so at least I won't have to drink those 4 litres.
GAW- I see my GP this week so I'm going to bring up the fatigue with her first. I do remember with my previous chemo it took about a year to get back to prechemo energy levels and we're all past that now. I thought maybe it was some of the heart issues caused by Herceptin but I'm 6 months out from that too.
Ingerp - Go Nats! My Tigers have been sucking so bad the last few seasons my only joy is cheering for former Tigers and you've got 2 of the great ones. Scherzer and Sanchez.
Did any of you catch Rachael Ray yesterday? Gretta Monahhan did an incredible piece on her battle with breast cancer.
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Indulge me in just 10 seconds of a pity party. I have an app called Timehop that shows me pictures/posts/. . . from one year ago, two years ago, etc. on that date. Today I started seeing pictures from my 60th birthday trip two years ago to the amazing American Southwest, where I’d never been. I know you all can relate when you get compliments on your hair and immediately think, “But it’s not my hair.” This was me two years ago. <sigh>
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Ingrep, I can relate!!
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Wow, ingerP, what a difference! I can see why you miss your former hair.
I can relate... here's my pic, taken with Bryce...the weekend of my biopsy last year. I had already had plans to go see him when all hell broke loose and I suddenly needed a biopsy. Then, I REALLY needed to keep busy until I got the results so I had the biopsy and immediately headed to the airport. I didn't tell him that we were worried about anything (didn't want to upset either of my kids until I knew for sure). I stayed with a close friend (also a survivor - of 25 years!!), which helped me deal with the fear. They both were great distractions. At least I look a little more like "me" again now.
Duffy, what did the MO say about the fatigue?
ingerP, my surgery is on 11/22. Can't wait, I was in some pain yesterday. Sure hoping the new implants are more comfortable! Also, watch out for Adderall and Ritalin for fatigue. A SE is suicidal thoughts... don't need that!!
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Awww, GAW--that picture makes me happy and sad. It's not just the curl, it's the length too (I had grown mine pretty far out before that trip two years ago cuz I scheduled a haircut for myself in Sedona). I mean even with 1/2"/month, I feel like it hardly shows up because of the curl--you know? Like even in six months, which should be about 3" more hair, it won't look that much longer because of the curl. Aargh. Going back for my second color tomorrow--I'll post a pic. And while I'm whining about piddly stuff, we got some last-minute tickets to a concert last night from friends, I had a weird day so didn't shower until about 4:00, and it was going to be a little chilly and I'm thinking what do I do all winter when I can't go near my head with a hair dryer (cuz I'd look even more like Bozo)? It's like I need to shower *hours* before I head out for the next few months. And surely there will be days when that's not possible. ?????
As always I'm concerned I'll talk to my MO about fatigue and how to deal with it and she'll just tell me to deal with it or something. Two of my kids have had <occasional> scrips for something like Adderall--they only used it situationally. I wouldn't take it regularly, just on days I really need to. But that is certainly something I'd watch out for!!
GAW so sorry about the breast pain. When does all this crap end?????
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What a coincidence! I'm leaving for Sedona on Saturday. So excited to get away with my hubby. We are also driving up to the Grand Canyon for a couple of nights.
Looks like we all had long hair prior to BC. Maybe that's what causes it.
GAW - Ummmmm oooops forgot to mention fatigue to my GP last week because I was battling a sinus headache that had been going on for several days and I really wanted to get that taken care of before I fly. MO is not until 2nd week of November and thanks for the heads up on SE for Ritalin/Adderall. I'm prone to suicidal thoughts due to my ongoing issues with depression and don't need any meds that might increase them. Actually one of the good things that came out of daughters breakdown is I've added 5HTP to my own supplements and have really noticed an improvement in mood.
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Ingerp, I never realized that a person could just "pop" an Adderall when they felt like it for an energy boost (not be on a regular, daily dose). All I know is that when my niece was on it, she ended up being very suicidal (had never been like that before or, now, afterwards - and it is listed as a SE for ADHD drugs). Web MD says there are "reports linking popular stimulant drugs [Adderall, Ritalin, Concerta] to aggressive behavior, manic episodes, and psychotic symptoms."
Yes, re the hair - I have thought of the upcoming cold weather and waiting for curls to dry. Plus, my hair seems to both repel water and soak it in. It's weird - water runs off it when I wet my curls, but they also take FOREVER to dry. Like, literally 3 hours, at least. I almost want to go back to a cute short hair style, like Duffy's, because it's easier. But I want to grow it out, so....
Duffy, do you get an energy boost from the 5HTP or just a better mood? Thinking of the fatigue here... Hoping you feel better - have an awesome time in Sedona and the Grand Canyon!
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Ja, GAW--the ADD drugs are not like an anti-depressant, when you'd have to keep a steady amount in your system. Years ago we found out a family friend was diagnosed with ADD and used Adderall. He's a professor at the local university and only took it on "big" days--like when he had to organize a lot of stuff, or get his kids off to school (LOL!). When my kids were on it, they never took it on weekends. They really are more like a fancy cup of coffee. (And my hair *definitely* takes three hours to dry. Really--what are we supposed to do when the cold weather hits??)
Duffy--these last days I've awoken to where I was on my big SW trip two years ago and it really was SO wonderful. Such an amazing part of the country. Have an awesome time!! (If you're looking for a little shopping, the guy who cut my hair directed me toward Jerome--a short drive from Sedona and a lot less busy. I bought several unique pieces of jewelry there!)
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GAW - no energy increase unfortunately from the 5HTP just overall improvement in mood (I'd describe it as more calm thoughts). My hair is so thin right now that I'm not sure if I'll ever grow it out long again.
Ingerp - Thanks for the tip on Jerome - I'm hoping to do some Christmas shopping while there.
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Thanks, Duffy. Sorry that your hair is thin. That's one thing about my curls - they hide any thin sports on my head. Have a blast out West!
Thanks, too, Inger - that's interesting about the energy boost from Adderall. Let us know what the MO says. I've been popping Cliff Energy Bloks as needed, but I dislike doing that because of the sugar content and the chemicals. Not that an RX would be any better, I guess <shrugs>. I see my MO on 11/4, so I will ask for recommendations, too. Last time was just, "well, what do you expect after all you've been through?"
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GAW - I got a chuckle out of that one. I've heard everything from that to exercise should help to well it could also just be normal aging.
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Tip for those of us still afraid a blow dryer will turn us into poodles: my hair lady agreed it's best not to go near the curls with a hair dryer (unless it's one of those salon-types that you sit under), and said I should grab an old T-shirt and squeeze my hair with it. That'll take out a lot of the moisture and should speed air drying. (She also said next time I see her--late December--she'll trim just the very ends of my hair. I was wondering if she'd tell me when she thought I was ready for a trim and I guess this is it! Baby steps. . .)
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