Starting Chemo September 2019
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ACchaos, I hope your port-less AC#2 went smoothly. My IV went in fine, just north of two failed and one successful IV from my ER stay. That was a relief, especially after my onco looked worried following my story of ER failures. Infusion nurse confirmed that they get to use smaller needles than the ER.
Ange, Angie, et al., I’m sorry to hear about everyone’s mental struggles, but also relieved to be in a forum where we can share this more invisible part of the fight. I have three little ones (3-13) and continuing work responsibilities, so I spend most of my time being upbeat, practical, and future focused ... then cry in my husband’s arms in the wee hours when nobody can hear. I tell others about my physical side effects, but mostly keep this secret...
It’s nice to hear people are having success and good results with mental health meds, and it’s definitely an option I will consider. But I went from taking zero meds a month ago ... one month anniversary of my diagnosis is today
... to a full weekly pill box with phone alerts and various side effects, and I feel like I want to try alternatives first.Interestingly, I talked at length with my oncologist yesterday about all of the physical side effects from my first AC cycle, but totally forgot to mention the mental. I’m going to fix that today and call my nurse to ask for a referral to our hospital’s integrative medicine department, which offers holistic treatments like acupuncture, meditation, mindfulness, etc. Can’t hurt right?
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Snaffle, I'm flat and fabulous, I like the fact that I didnt do reconstruction, it just wasn't something I wanted done.. I wanted the cancer out and healing to begin, but I'm 54 maybe if I had been younger the need for breasts might have won. I healed good I do have a small dog ear under left arm, might need a revision later, my range of mobility is good, I do get some tightness a long scar area, I wonder tho if that's because of the chemo, I notice the tightness more after my chemo session. Hope all have a great day
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Oh, Snaffle, I just want to give you a big hug! You've been through a lot of crap and here you are, still fighting. I'm Flat and Fabulous, too. I am part of that Facebook group. Just don't spend too much time there. It can be helpful, but also scary to read some of the posts. I am 47 and decided I didn't want too many surgeries, so I went flat. The surgery and recovery was not too bad. The drains suck, but that's only for 2-3 weeks (on average). I healed quickly. My big issue has been getting my range of motion back, which after a few PT sessions, it's very, very good now. I'm still getting used to my new body. That will take time. I do have dog ears, one larger than the other. I told my surgeon I didn't want them, but I have them anyway. She did great on the chest, it's flat. But, I hate the sides, so I will get a revision next year. But, overall, I'm happy with my choice. It works for me.
Mandamaybe, glad you are doing well. I am with you about going from no meds to a bunch of meds. I hate putting all of this stuff in my body, but I keep trying to tell myself it's for the greater good! Same with breaking down and getting the Xanax. It got me through some rough weeks.
Gamb, I get more tightness after my chemo session, too. Not sure why.
Tracy, thinking of you today. Hope TC #3 goes smoothly!
I'm on the steroid train again in prep for my TC #3 tomorrow. I think this one is the hardest to mentally prepare for. My onc said my exhaustion will get worse, which I'm not looking forward to. At least with #4, it's the last one, so I'll be keen to get it over with. I'm just dreading this one.
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6 days after TC #2 and I feel like someone sapped everything out of me. I'm on my way to pick up 2 new prescriptions. 1 for my scalp which is all bumpy and irritated. 1 for stomach cramps that just won't stop. My oncology nurse told me to shave the stubble off my head to relieve the irritation further.
I completely understand the emotional, mental toll these treatments and diagnosis take on you. I want to quit my job so bad until I'm through this. I feel like I'm letting everyone down which then makes me angry because I'm battling cancer for goodness sake! I'm just so tired. My mind isn't as sharp as it used to be so putting serious thought into things seems overwhelming and confusing. I just want to let it all go and concentrate on my health. That's hard to do without money or insurance though which is what quitting my job would mean.
Anywho, I hope you guys are doing well! Here's hoping the new medications help me miss less work!
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Dr prescribe a script that so help with the inflammation in the hair follicles, Stopped by the shop today, awesome shampoo, lost a bunch of hair in the shampoo bowl, Amy finished it off, feels so much better, chemo yesterday all went well, dr examined my beast, drastically reduced in size, lymph node still a little tender, pretty sure that's from seed placement, had a Visit with mental health Dr, not sure if I passed! Lol but she will see me again 11/5, also had a flu shot, timed device is set to infuse at 5:30 today expecting bone pain tomorrow, hope all is well
Hugs sending positives vibes
Linda
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you look awesome Maggie,,great news on size, built Kentucky tough...lol
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Thank you Gamb,, my youngest granddaughter, not really sure about me lol,, wanted to snuggle with her, but didn’t, hugs
Linda
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Maggie you look great!
I had my 3rd TC today and it was my fastest appointment yet at 4 hours from arrival to departure. I didn’t sleep a wink last night despite having taking an anxiety pill and a muscle relaxer. I have no clue why, usually the anxiety med takes care of the insomnia even when I’m on the steroids.
I am definitely feeling the cumulative effects now. I’m so worn down my muscles are aching. I had left over muscle relaxers from surgery which I started taking at night and it helps. I don’t notice the aches as much during the day when I’m up and active. I told my oncologist and she gave me a new prescription for the muscle relaxer so I don’t run out since it’s helping.LMS, I agree this one was my hardest to prepare for mentally. I know I’m going to be more and more worn out, and it’s taking things like taste longer to bounce back. I just keep reminding myself why I’m doing it (so hopefully I’m around a long time for my family) and that I only have one more to go.
Hugs to all, and I hope everyone’s treatments go well this week
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Thank you to everyone who has shared their mental challenges this far. It's helpful to know that others understand the struggle. The last few days have been very hard for me mentally, but I reached out to a few people, which I have never done in my real life. I was honest about my struggles and it was a relief to let them into that part of me. I finally got the nerve to make an appointment at a wig/salon place and reached out to my only friend, who I've distanced myself from since this all started and asked her to come with me. I was scared to let her see this side of me. But she came and it was amazing! The salon owner is one of the most beautiful souls I've ever encountered and she made it so easy. I'm so thankful. My friend also gifted me an angel that was gifted to her Mom who went through breast cancer a few years ago. It was very powerful. I feel recharged and I just hope I can keep this feeling. Thank you all for your awesomeness. I hope you are all doing well. 😊
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Ange, very powerful, thank you, the struggle is real,
Hugs,
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Maggie LOL, I love the bald family pic!
Day 2 post AC#2, and hair is coming out every time I touch it. But come to think of it, I know quite a few people with a hairstyle very similar to my ultimate destination ... all middle aged men and babies, but why should they have all the fun? (See, there’s me looking at the bright side!)
I did subscribe to one of those meditation apps, one that gave me a marked down annual fee. Figured I’ve spent more on less. I don’t have a review yet, but I did load up a 27 minute “bedtime story” to help me sleep. They take regular stories, I guess, and modify them to be extra boring. I don’t remember more than 3 minutes of the thing, so I guess it worked!
Also really glad that the nausea seems to be controlled with meds this time around. Week one was pretty yucky for me last time, so I’m kind of waiting for the next shoe to drop. But also trying to stay positive and enjoy feeling pretty okay for now. My mom’s voice in my head is telling me to knock on wood when I say that, so I did.
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Maggie those pics really made my day.
You're adorable! I'm rockin the bald head at work today because my scalp is irritated. No hair, don't care!0 -
Hey all, my son and grandkids are on the way here, sweet, this is the start of my up week so hopefully I'll have the energy, kids are all on fall break. I love my grandkids ages 9 months to 14 years old, they all belong to my oldest son 7 of them, never a dull moment with them
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This works great,, just use on the spots that is still sore, it is a prescription,
Feel like poo today, up most of the night, was expecting a good day yesterday,,went down hill after lunch, but that’s ok! May have been the flu shot,
Y’all have a great day, hugs
Linda
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Maggie - I was prescribed doxycycline hyclate caplets to take twice a day for 10 days for my scalp. I was expecting a cream or ointment.
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Brilee, that’s good, I’m just glad I don’t have another bottle of pills!! Lol Post a pic of your bald head lol!! My 4 year old grandson thought my shaved head was funny,
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Maggie - love the pics!!!
I’m at our state fair with our daughter who shows pigs. I was here all day yesterday too and felt good. Still feel good today so maybe getting into my good period before next treatment. I hate it when I feel good and then remind myself I have cancer. Like I can’t relax and just feel good. I need to work on that.
I hope you all are having a good day wherever you are
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Ange, enjoy your day!! Hugs, Think of a song to sing to yourself, examples, don’t worry be happy, or make one up,, lol!!!! Ok BC your not going to steal my joy today,, so move it on out! so move it on out, I am blessed I am loved, I got this, so move it on out!! Yes I’m CRAZY!!
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Ask and you shall receive, Maggie! LOL!
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Omg Brilee, you look fantastic, I love it,, beautiful as ever!!! 😍
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Hi all! I love seeing all your sassy, bald and beautiful pictures! Keep 'em coming! I really need it today.
And, it looks like I will probably be joining you all. As I've mentioned before, I've been cold capping. Well, yesterday and today, I lost a TON of hair. When the nurses saw my scalp, they had my doctor come see me and she told me I couldn't do the cold capping today during my treatment because they are scared of damaging my scalp. I have eczema and dandruff and irritation who knows what else going on. So, I did TC #3 today without cold capping. She said if my scalp heals up, I can do cold capping for my last treatment. Not that it's going to save my hair. Oh well, I gave it a try!
So, I'll be trimming my hair short this weekend and getting a halo wig and a few more hats. I'll know in 2-3 weeks how much I might lose after this treatment and see if I'm going to shave it all off. I'm a little sad about it today. I'm letting myself have a pity party and then I'll accept it and move on.
Other than that bump in the road, TC #3 went well. I had a light breakfast and lunch, but I'm going to enjoy a nice dinner tonight before my taste buds disappear for the next 2 weeks.
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LMS - Mourn your hair however and for as long as you need to. No one gets to tell you how you can and should feel. You're welcome to join our band of happy, shiny (headed) people. I'm sorry to hear about your scalp. I hope it heals quickly and with very little discomfort. 1 more to go! I kinda wish we could all have a party after our last treatments. I just had banana pudding. I think I could've eaten a whole vat of it. My taste buds are starting to go and this time around I have "unpleasant smells". Like, things don't smell like I think they should and sometimes make me feel nauseous. I have a sore throat today. I don't know if it's from the chemo or if I caught whatever my SO has. Just my luck that the 1 other person I live with would get sick right after my chemo.
Maggie - Thanks for makin a girl feel pretty even with a bald head. lol It's funny how worried I was about going out in public bald and now I just don't care. When it gets cold enough I'm totally buying one of these! https://www.amazon.com/Arctic-Paw-Winter-Fleece-Double/dp/B07SDBRNM5/ref=sr_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=arctic+paw+womens+double+pom&psc=1&qid=1571334578&sr=8-4
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Oh, Bridget, that hat is amazing!!!! Go for it!!!! I found one that looks like a kitty cat that I want, but it doesn't get cold enough in Florida for me to wear it. But, I did just order a halo wig and a couple of cute newsboy style caps. I've also got a beret on the way, so I'm going to be styling! I think it will take some time for me to go out without a hat....baby steps....
Banana pudding sounds so yummy! I wish we had some. I'll have to put that on the shopping list for when my taste returns!
Gamb - enjoy your son and grandkids!
Angie - enjoy your day at the state fair with your daughter!
Linda/Maggie - I hope you can get some rest today and hope you feel better soon.
Ange - glad you reached out to some friends and it's making a difference!
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I LOVE NEWSBOY HATS!
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Ok y’all are all being brave so here I am....
First TC, before hair loss
After hair loss, at work with my wig
Today, day 2 of TC 3, no wig
Hugs all
Tracy
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