STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

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  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,782

    yep!

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,752

    My heart goes out to you all.

  • homemom
    homemom Member Posts: 842
    edited September 17

    Let me know if anyone has gone through this!

    I had not been in to get a pap smear in over 3 years, mainly because I moved and needed to find a doctor. I just had my appointment with this great doctor, and some cells were mimicking HPV. I just had the colposcopy on Thursday. She said there were two spots that looked "moderate". She took biopsies and she told me not to worry, there is a very slim chance it will be cervical cancer. I'm still trying not to freak out. I've never had an abnormal pap smear let alone one that was elevated (HPV 16) I made an appointment for 3 weeks should it be something more to come in for a consultation. If it isn't warranted because it comes back moderate or low for possible cancer, she told me to cancel it.

    It takes 5 business days to get the results, so Thursday or Friday this week they will call me.

    UGGGHH!!!!!

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,752

    I know my primary has been nagging me about getting a pap again but feel like at this point even it is something do not know how I would want to treat it even. I am so tired of everything sometimes and want to just not do any testing or anything at this point. I have other things wrong to kill me at this point so feel like getting through a day sometimes is all I can do. I have put it off now for 6 moths and know he is going to ask me again when I see him this week.

  • homemom
    homemom Member Posts: 842

    I've been going every year until 2020 when they weren't taking patients. Then I moved and I had to research to find a good doctor. I've always had normal paps so this is concerning to someone like us where we've had that "testing" for cancer before. PTSD big time, no matter how much she tried to calm me.

    My sister hasn't been in 30 years, so I wouldn't feel bad if it's been six months LOL

  • maggie15
    maggie15 Member Posts: 1,394

    homemom, I have had 2 cone biopsies (older procedure) and 3 leep procedures over the years to remove abnormal cells. This wasn't exactly fun but could have been worse. If the margins are clean you are good to go until the next time they find something. It's better to get the rogue cells out before they spread. My last three pap smears were fine.

  • homemom
    homemom Member Posts: 842

    Thank you for that. I see that the results are in my portal, but I never look because I don't understand medical talk and I'm afraid I'll read the wrong things into it. I've also looked it up and one of the premier hospitals said it takes 10 - 15 years for it to turn into cancer, so that also gave me some relief, but I'm nervous. Tomorrow it will all come to light, most likely in the morning. ugh.

  • homemom
    homemom Member Posts: 842
    edited September 18

    So I got the results call and of the two specimens taken, one was benign and one has abnormal cells(vaginal wall). I have a consult appt with my gyno next Wednesday. The nurse asked if i wanted to bypass that and straight to the other doctor at the cancer center! Is that where you went, or did your gyno do the cone biopsy?

  • maggie15
    maggie15 Member Posts: 1,394
    edited September 18

    I'm sorry you need to have dysplasia taken care of. Gynos did my cone biopsies/leep procedures. You could consult with your gyno and then make an appointment at the cancer center if you thought she was out of her depth. My procedures were all pre bc diagnosis so if you are concerned you could opt for the cancer center.

    The leep removes tissue with an electrically heated wire loop; they give you a local anesthetic so you don't feel it. Afterwards there was a bit of spotting and cramping but nothing ibuprofen couldn't handle. It was the level of procedure where you could return to work the same day. There were lifting restrictions for the first week and no intercourse/tampons allowed for a month. Dysplasia is precancerous so there is nothing else done except followup to make sure they got it all. I have had dysplasia removed from other parts of my body (my esophagus just last month); the cervix has been the easiest. I hope all goes smoothly for you.

  • homemom
    homemom Member Posts: 842
    edited September 19

    Thank you maggie, that was helpful. My gyno office is Women's institute for non invasive surgery, so maybe that is why. That'll be one of my questions for next week.

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,752

    did not know it affect other areas as well. I am so sorry you have had to deal with it.

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,782
    edited September 21

    Having a bad day today. Feeling like none of my extended family really want me here despite what they say. Makes me feel like I should have never moved back here. The only ones that have really made me feel like I was wanted back here was my Daddy’s best friend and his wife plus my ex-SIL and niece. They at least are showing they are happy I’m here, the rest just make me feel like they want me around when it is convenient for them to have me around. Been crying off and on all day and never felt so unloved or unwanted like this,

  • homemom
    homemom Member Posts: 842
    edited September 22

    m0mmyof3 I hope you are feeling better today. Moving is tough as it is, so sometimes the expectations are more than what we actually experience. I would reach out to those I want to be around and have lunch or invite several over to a small party - maybe cake and coffee if it is someone's birthday.

    You know them the best, maybe talk to your Dad's best friend/wife or your ex SIL about how you're feeling?

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,782

    One of my cousins did reach out to me yesterday. He knew when we first got here we had been trying to find a place to rent, so he had been hanging back waiting for us to get that done so we could get settled in. He did say now that we are settled in a place that we will get together. He also asked if we need help with anything that he could help out and we told him we could use his help getting all our stuff we have in two storage bins down to one and he said if he was free this week he’d let us know. We had previously asked another cousin to help and got the cold shoulder.

  • ctmbsikia
    ctmbsikia Member Posts: 775

    I have an upcoming appointment with the NP. She's my new primary, only saw her once and it was OK. Just reading my blood panels that came back in my chart. Glucose 147, A1C 6.6% Total cholesterol is good, but my triglycerides are 368 and HDL is over the mark. Shall I keep going? All 3 liver panels were over. The Alk Phos was only 2 points over. Carbon dioxide is low (WTF is that?) and Anion Gap is over in the high. All the other stuff was fine.

    I hope I don't have to be more scared of the NP now than any other doctor!!! Perhaps I can talk her into having me repeat this in a few months? I have NOT been myself with daughter's wedding, my sister dying. I will be truthful and say I am not watching what I eat, and I am drinking something practically every day. I have no illusion whatsoever that I'm getting out of here alive, so while I know the risks, I still do smoke occasionally because I want to. That I could probably cut back out for sure, but it's been a wave of craziness.

    Do I really want to know that something could be wrong with me? Yes and no. Steamed to not know how to feel. I really feel just numb. Strange that I had a feeling when I made the appointment that somethings were going to be off.

  • homemom
    homemom Member Posts: 842

    I would ask for a redo, why not? They most likely will just monitor it, especially the cholesterol. AI will raise your cholesterol. My PCP is interested in how that will change when I go off of the AI in December. Fingers crossed.

  • homemom
    homemom Member Posts: 842

    So I met with the NP who did the biopsy to go over the results. It is totally pre cancerous and not cancer. I am going to the gyno oncologist because it was located on the vagina and they would rather I go to the specialists. She said it is very common, and the odd thing is that she has never in 10 years checked the vajayjay, but for some reason did this time. So relieved. Thanks for letting me blow off some steam!

  • maggie15
    maggie15 Member Posts: 1,394

    Hi @homemom, What good fortune that the NP checked the vagina as well as the cervix. Going to the specialist is always a good course of action for anything a bit unusual. I'm glad they found the dysplasia and will remove it before it becomes cancerous. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, lol.

  • rockym
    rockym Member Posts: 386

    I miss the way the old Breastcancer.org was set up!! I spent a lot of time on here years ago, made friends and had nice conversations about breasts, family and crazy bs. Now this is a mismatch of topics that don't seem to have any flow or conversation. Damn… rant over!

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 5,302

    Hi rockym,

    I’ve been a member for 13 years. Like all changes, the changes to bco were challenging at times but the learning curve wasn’t too steep. Members come and go and too many sadly die, but the camaraderie you remember still exists but perhaps not with folks you remember. With a bit of practice you’ll feel familiar with the site soon. I am sorry about your recurrence worries but hope you find support here again, even if the players and stadium have changed. Take care

  • rockym
    rockym Member Posts: 386

    Thanks, I remember your name and think we chatted in various threads. Maybe the group was August 2011 chemo or something like that. It is true that people pass :-(. I also assume if they didn't have a recurrence they wouldn't have a reason to come back either. I guess I remember really long threads and recently when I pop in I see someone ask a question and maybe they get an answer or two and then there isn't any more conversation. Anyway, having my own little pity party these days.

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,752

    ctmbiskia sorry you are dealing with labs again and repeating them. Make sure to fast before you go. I know they can affect those as well. Keep us posted and know we are here for you.

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,782
    edited September 28

    So fricken mad I want to scream! Earlier today I tripped and smashed a toe against a door frame, took a pain reliever for the pain but it has had little to no effect because I have been on my feet since then. My jerkwad of a husband decided that I did not need help and could do everything I asked him to help me with on my own as it was too important for him to be sitting on his lazy backside today! When I said something about his lack of help, I got “it’s only your toe that’s hurting you, not anything else. I’m too busy to help you with what you need help with.” I told him if that’s the attitude and help I’m gonna get, then he can do his own stuff (laundry and anything else) from now on! He’s become like his jerkwad of a father and I won’t deal with it anymore!

  • rockym
    rockym Member Posts: 386

    I'm sorry M0mmyof3. Many of these guys suck big time. They are like little boys who moan and bitch over bullshit and can't empathize in the least. I gave my husband a list of 3 therapists the other day and told him to get his shit together. I've had it too.

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,782

    I told mine to stop expecting me to be like his step-mother as I am not going to be like her. I made him cook dinner tonight as I noticed the bottom of the toe I smashed is pretty bruised and then showed him how bad it was. That woke him up to that I wasn’t lying when I said I was hurting.

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 15,894

    I am the original poster of this thread. Haven't been here much since 2018. Several close friends died. Several since. I needed to be in a different place. But oddly enough in conversation with a friend tonight, a memory came forward. An Old pledge song from 1969. What I described in conversation was what the rhyming song meant in my life. I could do it in RAGE and in would soothe me by dissipating the anger. It would so take away the anger. I used it in life by teaching it to folks that I felt needed the same.
    The rhyme: Shit Damn Hell, Son of a Bastard Bitch, Rape Screw FucK You, and you can go to Hell Too,
    Totally indelicate. Sung to a camp song , can be done as a round, and in harmony.


    In the OR that I worked in the 1970's, we had a real post-Vietnam MASH surgeon with a temper. I taught him the rhyme/song as I thought it might help him with his anger. Only taught one other nurse the song. LOW and behold we ended up in the same surgical suite. We were known to keep him reasonable. She was scrubbing, I was the circulator. A thyroid case. HE WAS SO THE BASTARD for everything at the beginning of the case. Got the case going. Turned to do the paperwork and flipped into humming Shit etc. My compatriot nurse heard me. SHE starts humming it seriously loud. THE surgeon laid down his instruments and says "Am I being that big of a bastard" Both of us looked to each other and then to him and said "YES". He was a peach for the rest of the day. It was an amazing moment.

    Don't take offense. Just enjoy that in a moment of time all three people communicated a need to be nice by shared words

    S

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 15,894

    Op Here, The new format doesn't declare the design of the thread, How does anyone find any threads and know function of that thread without having exposure to the original reason a thread was formed.
    The importance of this thread is the total allowance of anger without repercussions from anyone.
    Without the header declatory statements that define the space, it may negate the beauty of this space.

    Blow all the anger out. No holds on anything. That was the original idea. You Mods followed that for along time. Not sure about since I left. Without the headers, we don't what a thread is about. Yeah you have a name on a thread. Read my criteria for this thread. It's GREAT. OUR ANGER can be expressed. B/c we agree to be on this page. AND we can bring a CAT fight here. BUT without the header folks don't know. Only thing available is a name

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,782

    My mom really pissed me off yesterday. She called four times and expected me to answer each one. First time she called I was in church and I left my phone in the car. The second time was while I was trying to pin fabric for curtains for the kitchen of the place we are renting until the house is ready. The third time I was in my sewing room working on the curtains. The last time I got so fed up with the calling, I didn’t answer the phone. It’s not that I don’t want to hear from her, I am tired of the drama, lies and the same crap over and over.

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,752

    We got some new phones since we have landlines of course since we are old according to our kids and other family who are only using cell phones. I could not live without the landline though. They still work if power goes out as well plugged. The new one I have my chair though talks and tells me who is calling so I do not have to stop reading or whatever to answer a phone if I do not want to talk to that person. I can just ignore the call. If it is someone else I figure if it is important they will leave a message. They were ATT phones I know. Best thing we got last year and now so glad we have them.

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,782
    edited October 11

    So not happy right now. Earlier this week after finding the exact mug that got broken in the move, I ordered a replacement. Mug came yesterday, upon opening it, I found it was broken, even though it was packed tightly and wrapped in bubble wrap! I was so steamed, so I got in touch with the place I ordered it from and they were so nice and upset that it arrived broken. They are sending a new mug to replace the one I ordered and was broken in shipping at no charge to me! You would think that these shippers would be careful with a package, no matter what was in it and without being told it was a fragile item!