Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Aug 17, 2022 05:01PM livingivlife wrote:

Mae- what a beautiful picture of the clouds rolling in

I got a text message last night from my good friend in Ontario. She let me know her son had just died .He was 45 years old but unfortunately addicted to drugs and alcohol. She tried to get him help but he wouldn't go to rehab. He wasn't married but fathered 3 kids with 3 different women. My friend was the one who helped them all. I don't know the facts other than she said he was in a better place now.

I think what we go through to live and then there are those who throw it away. It's just so sad.

Deb
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Aug 17, 2022 05:09PM mara51506 wrote:

Yes, addiction is just an ugly monster for sure and I am sorry to hear about the loss both for your friend and his children. We do fight to live longer for sure. The only true blue addiction I had was smoking for a long time, thankfully, I got bad bronchitis during the first chemo and I went for a smoke outside, came in and could not breathe for a moment. That scared me and I flushed the cigarettes down the toilet. Did not start smoking again or go through withdrawal as I was so sick. Best thing that happened to me in hindsight. I could even be around other smokers but never wanting to start up the habit again.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Aug 17, 2022 09:29PM intolight wrote:

emac, I too am on Verzenio and am on 100mg. The dose reduction has helped although I still have occasional bad days. The good news is that I am NEAD on the reduced dose. I have not had IV chemo yet but know it is my next med. Keep on fighting!

Dx 5/20/2016, ILC, nodes, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 5/20/2016 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 5/20/2016 Verzenio Targeted Therapy 6/2/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Targeted Therapy 9/9/2021 Afinitor (everolimus) Hormonal Therapy 4/1/2022 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Aug 17, 2022 10:19PM anx789 wrote:

Hi everyone. I am freaking out right now, Iappreciate any insight or knowledge you can lend me. I have lower right leg pain for few months now. Today, MRI of my fibula results states “aggressive bone marrow infiltration process noted involving 20 cm of the fibulae diaphysis…suspicious of metastatic disease…" it also says about new bone formation and inflammation but no lesion. Ortho recommended to see a bone tumor expert. I'll see my Onco this Friday to discuss. What should I expect when I see him? Or what should I expect from here on? What testing, treatment, etc. As I was googling, bone marrrow infiltration points toward Leukemia, too. Any thoughts? Is anybody had this mri results that end up not having met?


Dx 9/25/2018, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 17, 2022 10:50PM emac877 wrote:

Hi anx789 - I have had an MRI result come back negative for metastasis even in the presence of known active bone mets. I have a spot in my left lower shin that shows up on bone scans and MRIs as suspicious and ultimately I had to do a bone biopsy to confirm it was an area of osteonecrosis, likely from an old ACL repair. Completely benign. Your oncologist I would expect might draw labs and could consider other imaging such as a PET scan that could be more specific for active metastasis activity. I would also suggest the Bone Mets Thread on this same stage IV forum. Those of us there have had bone mets for a while and even just reading through it may give you some of the answers you seek. I hope that helps offer some piece of mind.

Dx 2/8/2018, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/22/2018 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph node removal Chemotherapy 6/8/2018 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 8/26/2018 Whole breast: Breast, Chest wall Dx 12/4/2019, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Surgery 12/11/2019 Radiation Therapy 12/23/2019 External Local Metastases 12/23/2019 Radiation therapy: Bone Targeted Therapy 1/7/2020 Verzenio Hormonal Therapy 6/22/2021 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Aug 17, 2022 11:00PM micmel wrote:

living~sorry for your friends loss. Sometimes there are no answers. So young. What a waste. Addiction Is scary. I thank goodness I’ve never had to tango with that ugly monster.

Mara~Good description!

Anx~ google Is not your friend at times like this. Try to relax as much as you can until you get some answers from your oncologist. It’s makes it harder to fill our heads with what ifs. I’m sending you hugs. The bone Mets thread could be helpful it may have some answers or the ladies might. Wish you nothing but luck. Welcome to our thread. We are here for support.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Aug 17, 2022 11:06PM - edited Aug 17, 2022 11:10PM by anx789

Thank you emac877 and micmel. My last blood works was in June 2022, every thing is normal except for elevated Calcium and Ferritin. Is bone biopsy the only way to confirm bone met?

Dx 9/25/2018, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 18, 2022 04:18AM sondraf wrote:

We finally got rain here! And boy did it rain - went into the office yesterday and as we are right on the Thames you have a good view of weather intensity. Was blowing and driving rain like a hurricane I imagine. Couldn't even see the landmarks across the river for a good 15 minutes. Finally it blew itself out and I spent all evening at the pub with friends which I really needed. Nothing like popping to the bathroom to slug down some lynparza on the downlow though!

Work is causing enormous grief and stress right now so I may need to dip for a few weeks until I get this under control and the mental health ship righted. Focus needs to be on getting out of this place before it drives me completely insane. If I have to ill pull the nuclear option of short term mental health leave but before I do that there are some things I need to try, one of which is just putting cancer chat to the side for the moment.

Candy - glad to hear you are stable!

Karen - I was wondering about you up there in Scotland and with the heat and all and how you were doing. Pleased to see you check in, but not pleased to see you had progression. I hope your next treatment line treats you well!

"The closer we come to the negative, to death, the more we blossom" - Montgomery Clift Dx 9/27/2019, IDC, Right, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 11/29/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 11/29/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery 11/28/2021 Lymph node removal (Right): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy (Right) Targeted Therapy 3/1/2022 Lynparza (olaparib)
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Aug 18, 2022 08:40AM goldensrbest wrote:

Mae - great photo!

Anx- welcome! We’re here for support. make a list of questions to ask your MO. It’s too easy to forget something when you are actually sitting there talking.

Living - addiction stinks and no doubt your poor friend is going through a range of emotions. Addiction also affects family and friends.

My hubs is an inpatient - he had a procedure yesterday to hopefully do an ablation in the right side heart area causing his tachycardia. During the procedure the cardiologist was able to recreate the heart rate issues but determined it was coming from the left side of the heart which was a much more complicated procedure so no ablation was actually done. He is being put on a new med which requires 48 hours of monitoring to assess dosage needs. His heart rate was in the 60s all night so they will drop the dose today to see how he does. Plans are to discharge him tomorrow afternoon.

And I’m finally seeing an Ortho today for knee replacement. Left knee is worse so will start with that one. I hope it’s soon as the pain is unreal.

Wishing everyone a good day. HUGS to all

Dx 6/1990, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, 1/20 nodes, ER+/PR+ Dx 7/1999, IDC, Right, <1cm Dx 7/26/2019, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/1/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 9/25/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Chemotherapy CMF Surgery Mastectomy Surgery Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Aug 18, 2022 08:46AM - edited Aug 18, 2022 09:40AM by mara51506

Sondra, if work and cancer are stressing you, I choose focusing on balancing work and home. Perhaps taking a board break and talk of cancer in real life for a while would help alot. Hope you find the balance or take the break from work you may need.

I have not wanted to email the stupid property managers again but it has been a month since we have had mail delivery and a couple of weeks with the really stupid keyless entry without a doorknob. I was polite but did point out that I have missed an app't due to not getting the mail, I don't find it easy getting out due to no car. I also pointed out having a door without a door handle is really an accessibility issue and could pose a hazard if for some reason I cannot get out the front. I asked directly is they are just waiting for new residents to move in before they replace the intercom at the front so mail carriers can access the building. I am sometimes afraid to say something but realize that staying silent does not help either. I am always polite despite my annoyance that we, the older residents left are not considered. I also get tired of having to check the back door is locked before bed. The keyless entry does not lock automatically as the old one did.

Well, got a quick email back already. Apparently, not having the mail is the post office fault as they refuse to use the key, suppose it is possible but don't believe the Canada post cannot get set up with opening the door themselves. I don't mind meeting deliveries out front. Apparently, they are looking into the door handle issue. I am going to have to just take their word for it as I am tired of emailing them to be honest. Need to remove that stressor and just add checking the back door is locked before bed and accept it.

For exercise, I may go to the mall by bus, I am bored and don't feel like doing much more. I am looking for some mall walking as that does not make me red faced, may stop at walmart too to see if there are any groceries I want. We will see.






2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+

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