Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Page 3 of 2,749 (27,487 results)

Log in to post a reply

Jul 7, 2017 01:28PM keetmom wrote:

The issue is real deep Micmel, Our middle dd is non verbal and has a cognitive disability, our youngest has a genetic disorder (same one that caused my breast cancer,) she is Emma. Emma has 9 brain tumors and has had 23 brain surgeries in last 10 years, she also is legally blind, has lots of issues from the TBI, she also is legally blind. we never thought we would see 15 with her, so not sure what the future will bring..The issue is REALLY big...like not sure how he would keep working when something happens to me not alone dating.. 

Dx 10/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/9/2012 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Dx 11/16/2012, IDC, 1cm, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 11/16/2012, IDC, 1cm, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 11/26/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 4/26/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 4/26/2013 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 5/22/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole) Dx 9/2015, Stage IV Chemotherapy 6/15/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel) Dx 3/2018, Stage IV, metastasized to brain Radiation Therapy 3/5/2018 Chemotherapy 3/22/2018 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Gemzar (gemcitabine) Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane) Targeted Therapy Afinitor (everolimus) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy External: Brain
Log in to post a reply

Jul 7, 2017 01:45PM - edited Jul 14, 2017 02:56PM by micmel

Keet~I want to say god bless you and your family for facing these odds, no less having had something like this hit your entire family so hard. It's times like this that question my faith and make me wonder why on earth any being or god would anyone allow such pain and trials in one persons life, or one family. I mean enough Is enough. I would also like to say that god doesn't give us more than we can handle, but I Am sick of hearing that myself, so I just can't even even bring myself to say it to you because, that would be hypocritical. I will say you're an amazing woman, and whatever my prayers can do, I will and am certainly offering them. Thank you for sharing with me. I know sometimes talking about things can be easy for some, but for others. Like me, facing this harsh reality is where I would like my other best friend denial to take over. I don't know which one is worse. I am sending gentle hugs. ~M~

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Jul 7, 2017 02:21PM exbrnxgrl wrote:

Life is full of trials and it seems that some of us get more than our share. You're right in saying that sitting in front of someone and talking won't, in and of itself , make it better but it can give you tools to cope with your feelings and get the most out of life even with stage IV bc. Finding the right person or group is key. My point is that although your feelings are valid, finding a way to enjoy life in spite of stage IV is very good for your health, your family and all of that love you have.

Dx IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Jul 7, 2017 02:27PM Kandy wrote:

I join in with y'all having a special needs child. My youngest has Down syndrome and will live with us until both are gone. This is even a worse topic for me. She will be devastated when something happens to me. It does bring up a lot of other issues as far as someone else taking care of her. And how could he date. But everyone loves her so any decent person wouldn't have an issue with her. I think the whole situation is heart breaking. Take care ladies. Enjoy the

Dx 1/20/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 4/9 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/26/2009 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 3/9/2009 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Gemzar (gemcitabine), Navelbine (vinorelbine) Radiation Therapy 10/7/2009 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 1/4/2010 Arimidex (anastrozole) Dx 10/31/2013, IDC, Stage IV, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 11/18/2013 3DCRT: Bone Hormonal Therapy 12/3/2013 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy 10/7/2016 Afinitor (everolimus) Hormonal Therapy 10/31/2016 Aromasin (exemestane) Chemotherapy 2/2/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Chemotherapy 5/8/2017 Carboplatin (Paraplatin) Chemotherapy 8/15/2017 Halaven (eribulin) Targeted Therapy
Log in to post a reply

Jul 7, 2017 05:45PM micmel wrote:

It is amazing how so many lives are touched by this evil disease. I always have a broken heart when I think about children that have a parent that is thee one that has been there since birth. The one who does everything for the family day in and day out. My kids are older. 21,20,16. I always thought in my mind at least they didn't have chubby fists and sitting in their high chairs. I realize for some ladies and men that is exactly what has happened. I don't for one second forget that. It makes my heart bleed. As if my heart hadn't been kicked and torn apart, bruised, ripped in two and left beating on the floor throughout all I have been through and witnessed here,and here we are still fighting like women with everything we have. Through whatever cloud is over our heads, you are all amazing creatures and I appreciate all the insights and any single thought you may have throughout this hard walk we walk. That is such an issue, one that there once again are truly no words. Just feelings of sadness and despair for you all. I would never want worrying to be apart of everyone's day more than it has to be. The bottom line is cancer sucks and I hate it. Hugs to you strong women. ~M~

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Jul 8, 2017 11:27AM illimae wrote:

I met my husband almost 20 yrs ago through a mutual friend and we've been married 17 yrs this x-mas eve. He is 8.5 yrs older than I and is the outgoing, adventurous one, while I am shy and practical. I got so lucky with him as he thinks I'm the greatest thing ever and should be worshipped. We have dogs instead of human children, so thankfully that isn't a concern but I fear that my passing will cause him to stop taking care of himself completely (I have to nag him more than I like about diet, sleep, etc) and he will descend into depression, isolation, illness and early death. My friends will be ok, my family sucks so whatever but I worry for my DH and at 42 and 50, we still have lots of living to do.

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 1/2/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/2/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/2/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2+ Radiation Therapy 10/20/2017 External Local Metastases 10/20/2017 Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External Local Metastases 4/18/2018 Brain Radiation Therapy 5/23/2019 External Local Metastases 5/23/2019 Brain Surgery 1/22/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/17/2020 External Local Metastases 2/17/2020 Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External Local Metastases 7/20/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External Local Metastases 12/4/2020 Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
Log in to post a reply

Jul 8, 2017 04:16PM micmel wrote:

I feel the same Mae, I love my DH. Sounds like you have a keeper also. I think you should be treated as a goddess we all should. That's a long time to be together and I pray we are all here to love our family. I was just laying here with DH making sure to remember every line of his face. I hope time helps me with my constant sadness. I need to find a way to enjoy my days. However many I am given. Thanks for sharing your story! ~M~

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Jul 8, 2017 11:03PM micmel wrote:

today my DH, the angel he is sat with me and talked to me about how I am his person also. Tears flowed like they had no way to be turned off. The love that I felt for this man is of nothing I have ever known. His gentle ways, his sweet kisses. My best friend in the world. I don't know honestly how one woman could be so cursed and so blessed in life at the same time. I have a beautiful family that I adore. I had met my DH online. We met on MSN chat. And we would talk for hours and laugh. But we waited over a year to ever meet, things back then were new with the internet and such. He came to fix my computer, because it was on the fritz... I wasn't happy and was in the midst of a divorce and much to my future , so was he. It was as they say love at first sight. He treated me like a queen, really showed me what a man should be like and how a man who has his shit together should actually behave. I was blown away and still everyday I find new things to be in love with him all over Again and again. He made me want to be a better woman. He still does. I wish there was a way he would know how deeply in love I am with him and how much loving him and him choosing me has meant to me without just words. He has never been about just words. He's been about actions. Which is how real men are. He has shown me happiness and security I never knew I was missing until him. Not as a child, not even my first marriage. But I found everything in this one beautiful man. I will spend every waking breath loving him and feeling so honored, that I have been loved like this during my life. I have told him this "if I die in your arms, I will have died in heaven already". He means more to me than anything I've have ever known and he is the best person I have ever known in my 47 years of being on this earth. I pray all of you have felt this kind of love. I just am on a journey separate from cancer to find a way to let it go and not lose my mind or give up actually living while I am still able. I am paralyzed with fear of leaving this precious man. Of mine.... rest well ~M~ Bless all of you and your beautiful families.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Jul 9, 2017 12:17AM - edited Jul 9, 2017 12:18AM by GLim

Micmel,

You wanted to hear about stories behind the person. I am married to my best friend, soulmate and super-mom. I'm a Canadian and she is from Taiwan, we met in Canada, then I moved to Taiwan to teach English. We started dating, fell in love, got married and had kids, though not necessarily in that particular order haha. After 4 years of marriage she still makes me laugh, we still hold hands and we recently had a second baby. We pretty much live in one bedroom and a living room but we were happy.

My wife was recently diagnosed stage 4 cancer. (de novo, which means she had it before her check up)... Just came out of nowhere, no history, no symptoms, generally healthy, 29 years old. Her prognosis is luminal B cancer, a quite aggressive one. It sucks and we spent the first three weeks straight crying and desperately searching for spirituality, thinking about the worst case scenarios. It gets better though. After the emotions flood forth, it leaves you stronger than you were before.

Excuse me if you've heard this before, but I think this anecdote is apt in this case. One day my daughter came to me telling me of how hard her school life was. She desperately wanted to give up, so I took 3 pots, filled them with water and put them on the stove. In one pot I put an egg. In another I put a potato and in the last, some coffee beans. When they had cooked, I took them out and asked her to look at each one. Some people are like the egg. They starts soft inside but when things get difficult, it becomes hard inside. Some people are like the potato. They start hard inside but after things get difficult they get soft and weak. The coffee beans however come out just the way they were put in, but they were able to change the situation around them. This is what we should strive to do.

Soon, you'll accept what life has dealt you, as we did. It could take some time; there will be good days and bad days. But after a while, I really believe this experience can summon your inner fortitude to enjoy each day, never hold back, and make amazing new memories with your family. You'll cherish the small things even more and when you get enough good days, you'll realize how actually you were strong enough all along to fight that ****ing cancer. It creates a positive feedback loop because your mental health and positivity increase your ability to fight cancer, which creates better results which makes for more positivity. Just keep fighting abd don't stop until science has an ACTUAL cure, not just a treatment. Maybe even carve out some time to read the articles. These are not "fake news" These are taken from scientific journals which have been cited. Bear in mind that in none of these articles do they say they are "close" to finding a cure. However the words "promising, ground-breaking, within reach" are thrown around. *I'm apparently not allowed to link the articles, but you can just google them.

-Salinomycin as a Drug for Targeting Human Cancer Stem Cells

Promising results from preclinical trials in human xenograft mice and a few clinical pilote studies reveal that salinomycin is able to effectively eliminate CSCs and to induce partial clinical regression of heavily pretreated and therapy-resistant cancers. The ability of salinomycin to kill both CSCs and therapy-resistant cancer cells may define the compound as a novel and an effective anticancer drug.

-Advances on immunotherapy in breast cancer

.... Several large clinical trials have tested the use of various forms of immunotherapy in breast cancer such as checkpoint inhibitors, adoptive T cell therapy, vaccines and adjunctive immunotherapy, all of which have shown promising results. This review article highlights the advances of immunotherapy in breast cancer and discusses the future research needed to be conducted to unveil the full potential of these drugs.

-New possible target for cancer treatment

....The scientists turned the gene switches off by removing this region from the mouse genome, and found that its loss has no effect on normal mouse development and growth. Although removing the gene switch region brought down the levels of the nearby cancer gene Myc, the mice remained normal and healthy. However, the mice were strongly resistant to the formation of breast tumours and tumours in the intestine. According to the scientists, these results show that normal cells can function and divide without the genetic elements that are needed for the growth of cancer cells. The study therefore highlights the possibility of developing highly specific cancer drugs.

-Checkpoint Inhibitors in Breast Cancer: Hype or Promise?

....I think that checkpoint inhibitors are extremely promising in breast cancer. First, these agents have relatively few significant side effects compared with cytotoxic chemotherapy, which is important from a quality-of-life perspective. Second, for patients with breast cancer who do respond, the responses seem to be durable. This is completely unlike conventional chemotherapy, whereby drug resistance occurs in a relatively predictable way over time. To see durable responses in patients with chemotherapy-resistant triple-negative breast cancer, for example, is a tremendous innovation. Women with chemotherapy-refractory triple-negative breast cancer typically have a poor prognosis, and so the observation of responses in this setting that are durable—potentially beyond the 1-year mark—is remarkable.

We are still learning how to apply and refine immunotherapy strategies for the treatment of breast cancer, and the successful identification of biomarkers of response is needed. However, the data reported to date are certainly encouraging. The possibility of durable, tumor-specific response—and thus, cure—now appears to be within reach.

-Two years on for our pioneering TRACERx lung cancer study

.....The second trial, DARWIN II, will offer people a range of drugs targeted to faults in other genes, such as BRAF or Her2, to see if they can help. And patients whose tumours don't carry any of these faults, will be offered treatment with one of a new class of immunotherapy drug called 'checkpoint inhibitors'.

And it's this area – immunotherapy – that Swanton thinks holds immense promise.

"In the last couple of years, we've really seen how drugs that target the immune system can produce dramatic responses in some patients and they're becoming standard treatments in lung cancer. So the work we're doing with Sergio Quezada's lab at UCL is something I'm really excited about," says Swanton.

"If we can work out how to harness the knowledge we're generating in TRACERx to find immunotherapies that benefit more patients, then I think we're really going to be onto something big."

Log in to post a reply

Jul 9, 2017 12:17PM - edited Jul 9, 2017 03:08PM by micmel

GLim~ I adore the fact that you found your person. It makes me smile to hear how love finds one another. It's the only thing keeping me going if I am honest. The love of my precious family. Sounds like your family is preciously special as well, every story is beautiful, every story gives me hope that truly there is goodness in a sea of worry and pain for some of us as we battle this disease. I too, was basically stage four at diagnosis, they just didn't know all the scan results at the time. It all came crashing down and we were left sitting in a pile of rubble, which was the life we always knew. Blown up within two weeks. Thank you for taking the time to share with me, I enjoy hearing love stories. I am a hopeless romantic! I also enjoyed all the information on what could quite possibly save our lives in the future. Bless you all ~M~

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)

Page 3 of 2,749 (27,487 results)

Scroll to top button