Jul 11, 2017 12:42PM bigbhome wrote:

Michel - I love this thread! Your love stories are so beautiful and so familiar. I was introduced to my Dh by mutual friends. We were both coming out of horrible relationships and not looking for another. That night we met we spent all night talking. We started dating and29 years later here we are still.

I too worried about other women, especially since he worked with several. I was shocked to see a couple actually making a play for him. He is so naive, he didn't realize until I pointed it out. Then he was horrified someone would do that while I am still here.

I have finally realized he has loved me and stood by me through all this. That says everything! I too don't want to see him alone, he is only 56years old, however I worry he will be taken advantage of, he had such a good heart. I do worry about strange women, but more than that I worry the biggest one who will try to take advantage will be his own mother. I have never met a more selfish woman, she even surpasses my mother in that dept. And that's saying something.

We both come from dysfunctional families and have always been each other family with our son. That is our family. I so worry about this that I have spoken to our ds about it. He says he won't let it happen.

Like Nan, I almost feel sorry for the next one. She will have huge shoes to try to fill. He is my heart and I am his. That will never change. I think that's how it is with your dh also.

All we can do is hope if they do meet someone that they will be a good person who will love him and care for him and help keep our ds, dil and grandsons close.

Sorry so long, but we are talking about my best friend and love.

Hugs and prayers

C

Jul 12, 2017 05:41AM - edited Jul 12, 2017 05:44AM by micmel

Sometimes I just don't understand how something's work. Over the past six months or so my DH has had this pain in the top of his foot, now being the man that he is, he never wants to go to the doctors. I mean he will go, but just really is one of the busiest people that I have ever met. Some days it really bothers him, and others. It's not so bad. Last week, he finally went to see the doctor, first he had an X-ray, the X-ray showed a "growth", so now onto the MRI, which he had on Monday. The doctor didn't seem overally worried, but I hate any words like that. Especially when they are talking about the most important person in your life. Most likely it was injured, ligament, or small fracture that healed over wrong. But he comes to me And says,I am so sorry I never understood how it made you feel every single time you had to have and scan or test. That anything associated with the word growth would send you reeling. He said I feel sick just thinking about something I thought I was such an expert in. I am not. I am sorry. Just another reason I love this man with my entire soul and heart. Results tomorrow, but I think they would have called if something was wrong! But what a shit stew living life can be. It can be the most wonderful experience at times and then other it seems when you are on bended knee pleading for a break, a break in your body isn't really what you had in mind. Hugs to all ~M~

Jul 13, 2017 09:18PM Nan812 wrote:

M....there is such a thing as forever love....and i think you can feel deep inside that this is true....we search and search for it from the time we can remember liking in that loving way.....how could we not love forever if we are born with a need for a forever love...how do we all know instinctively that a true love is out there for us (even if we cant find it this time, we all know)...we all have baggage and bad habits so our loves may never be perfect but maybe we agreed to help each other thru our faults to become a better soul at the end then we'll laugh about how hard it was this time to make our souls just a lil more perfect and promise each other, that if we have to come back to try this again , that somehow we will find them and help each other out....i know i couldnt do this whole cancer thing without him, or so many of the other challenges life has thrown our way.....i know our souls promised to somehow find each other or i could not have accepted this lifes challenges...i believe its not just our partners either, i have connected so deeply with others that for me nothing else(but always knowing their soul) makes sense to me.....my close friends feel this way when we get to talking bout "just how did we become such close friends,we dont even have that much in common" maybe thats still the point, to learn new things from souls we trust on some deep level..... . shine bright my dears.....

Jul 14, 2017 04:29AM - edited Jul 14, 2017 09:34AM by micmel

Nan~ I am sitting here in tears. God bless you beautiful woman. You're beautiful hair and smile and looking so content and happy. Is that your love next to you? I loved what you posted. I am struggling. I am so riddled with sadness and fatigue. If you aren't from BCO or someone I am very close to. I don't even bother. I don't want To talk to anyone who isn't sick and won't ask me that, when are you done treatment? Um never. My DH is the blood that runs through my veins. And on some level I do know that love will outlast anything, I just am so scared when I am forced to leave that I will be in heaven waiting for him and that he should find someone else during that waiting. (And why shouldn't he if I'm honest. He's utterly amazing) am I going to be waiting for nothing? Will he be waiting for me too ? I just don't reconcile this in my heart or brain. I will never give up fighting. I will never not keep fighting to love him and remain here. My kids and loving them is part of this as well. It's grueling to imagine them not having their mother at least until they are older, and I have my gray hair and am walking next to my DH leading to the porch to our chairs. That's all I have ever thought of. Since the day I met him. My future was there. Crystal clear. In front of me. I had no doubts I was only positive. For the first time in my life I wasn't afraid of anything. I knew I had my partner in life and I could get through anything. Then this happens. I bet you are still just as gorgeous as you were 30 years ago, you have a way about you in your postings of someone, like I have known all my life already. The kindness and the joking funny tones to what you write. You help me though my day. I always smile when I read your words. Thank you my friend. It's almost like we are having coffee together ! Thank you for sharing your sweet thoughts with me I had to create someplace to talk about our hearts desire!! Big hugs ~M~

Jul 14, 2017 06:49AM illimae wrote:

Beatmom, lol! That you have your cousin all picked out for him. I don't want my husband to be sad or lonely either. I told him the weekend I was diagnosed that he could get remarried (my mind was everywhere) but he said no, you only do that once. Whatever he does, I hope he's happy.