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Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute —

Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by Micmel

Micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jan 15, 2021 10:31AM candy-678 wrote:

I talked to my friend this morning. Her husband is hanging on--still unconscious. They are being discharged home with hospice today-- getting hospital bed delivered this morning. She seems to be holding up pretty good. She cat napped in his hospital room last night. And ate a sandwich. I wish I could be with her when she gets settled at home. She said she knows people will want to help, but she does not want a "revolving door" due to Covid. She is unsure how she will handle that so she does not offend.

I am getting my repeat CBC/ANC check today. Hope better and I can restart Ibrance.

Supposed to get a dusting of snow later today/tonight.

Found mets on CT for unrelated issue. I only had 2 treatments with IV chemo for the Stage II, then found Stage 4 and switched to hormone therapy/targeted therapy. I consider myself de novo. Also using Xgeva injections for bone mets Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin) Chemotherapy AC Surgery Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left
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Jan 15, 2021 10:50AM Micmel wrote:

Karen~I’m sorry to read your posting about progression. I hate cancer so much.

Hello to everyone else, candy I’m very sorry. Mae~ yum yum! I’m trying to keep myself calm. I have scanning in March.. so of course why not worry about it now? But I’m doing okay. Thinking of you all

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jan 15, 2021 10:56AM illimae wrote:

SeeQ, DH loves Mexican food but he’s camping with a couple friends, so I used the opportunity to pig out on my own and I’m loving it, lol

Karen, I’m sorry to hear about your progression and trouble breathing is very scary. As for Xeloda, while side effects can be tough, especially at first, I found that once I had a good routine down for meds to manage my digestive SE’s and nightly lotion of hands and feet, I feel really good and currently have zero complaints. Hopefully, I’m not just a lucky case and everyone can find their balance fairly quickly.

Brain MRI follow up changed from in person to a phone call in about an hour but the nurse who called to let me know said it was stable, which works for me 🎉😁

Might do some packing and general chores since my day is free now or I might just watch mysteries, haven’t decided yet.

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ (IHC) Chemotherapy 1/1/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2+ (IHC) Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 5/22/2019 External: Brain Surgery 1/21/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/16/2020 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External: Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jan 15, 2021 12:39PM - edited Jan 15, 2021 12:39PM by moth

oh Karen, sucks about the progression but good that you have a quick plan. I hope everything will go smoothly.

Illimae, yay on stable!!

I'm still feeling ok after chemo yesterday. I was tired last night though and went to bed early, hoping for a lovely long sleep but olive woke me at 2 and I was up with her till 330. Took her to the garden, then eventually leashed up and went for a walk and still she was off. She seemed nasueus but never barfed, just couldn't settle. Poor girl. Poor me lol

Hugs

Initial dx at 50. Seriously???? “Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely and we’re left with only the choice of what to do next." blog: nevertellmetheodds2017.tumblr.... Dx 12/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 12/12/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 2/14/2018 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 8/13/2018 Whole-breast: Breast Dx 2/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/18/2020 Taxol (paclitaxel) Immunotherapy 3/18/2020 Tecentriq (atezolizumab) Chemotherapy 11/25/2020 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/9/2020 External Dx 12/10/2020, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to lungs, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Hormonal Therapy 12/15/2020 Femara (letrozole) Dx 1/28/2021, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3 Radiation Therapy 3/3/2021 External: Bone
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Jan 15, 2021 12:53PM candy-678 wrote:

Mae- Woohoo for stable!!!!

moth- Sorry both you and Olive had a restless night. Rest today if you can.

Found mets on CT for unrelated issue. I only had 2 treatments with IV chemo for the Stage II, then found Stage 4 and switched to hormone therapy/targeted therapy. I consider myself de novo. Also using Xgeva injections for bone mets Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin) Chemotherapy AC Surgery Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left
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Jan 15, 2021 03:18PM candy-678 wrote:

I have an appointment for my Covid vaccine. Opportunity thru a place I volunteered with (volunteered before Covid, and will resume someday after Covid). I messaged my MO and she said ok to proceed. I have to hold Ibrance 1 week before and 1 week after the vaccine. For both doses of the vaccine. I will still isolate even after the vaccine, as there are variants around that the vaccine might not cover. And with my immunocompromised status, I might not have the 95% efficiency of the vaccine. I will still wear masks. I will probably hold off in-person church until summer when less colds/ flu and more people vaccinated. But, the vaccine is supposed to be effective against having serious cases of the virus. So maybe it would not be deadly if I get it. I hope I am making the right decision. I will be off Ibrance more than on, for the next couple of months. But I am still on Lupron and Letrozole. So some coverage against the cancer.

Found mets on CT for unrelated issue. I only had 2 treatments with IV chemo for the Stage II, then found Stage 4 and switched to hormone therapy/targeted therapy. I consider myself de novo. Also using Xgeva injections for bone mets Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin) Chemotherapy AC Surgery Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left
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Jan 15, 2021 03:55PM Micmel wrote:

congrats Mae!!!!!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jan 15, 2021 05:21PM tangandchris wrote:

I know this thread has been going for awhile. I just read the original post and I feel it so deeply. I found out in October that the beast is back and I struggle daily with the idea that I wont be here with my loved ones. I'm guessing with time it will get easier in some way, but it is raw still especially at night.

Thanks for sharing your heart.

My reconstruction with TE's failed...had them removed because of infection. I am still unsure of if or when I will try again. Dx 10/24/2013, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 6/25 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/23/2013 Lymph node removal: Left; Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 2/13/2014 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Dx 10/2020, Stage IV, metastasized to other, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Jan 15, 2021 05:54PM booboo1 wrote:

Dear TangandChris,

Yes, initially, it is a bit overwhelming, but as you go through your instructions and treatment with your MO, it helps to be in a routine and becomes easier. I can so remember my first days when diagnosed. All I thought about was “when am I going to die”. This too shall pass. Just stick around here with us. You will not only learn a lot, but we can often help with questions you have. But most importantly, this thread is all about listening toeach other, supporting each other through scans and other procedures, and just being here to lighten your load as a newly diagnosed cancer patient.

Hope you stop by often and share your experiences with us.


Laurie (aka Booboo) Surgery 5/15/2013 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Dx 1/2017, DCIS, Left, 1cm, Stage 0, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 2, 1/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Chemotherapy AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 3DCRT: Breast
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Jan 15, 2021 06:52PM Micmel wrote:

Tang~Welcome to our thread. I feel it deeply too it’s a daily struggle to be us,sometimes. Thank you for sharing your feelings here with us. It means a lot.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jan 15, 2021 07:01PM Karenfizedbo15 wrote:

Great news Mae...it’s also great to hear you enjoying your food after all those weeks of not!
Candy good for you on sorting out the vaccine. I know some are sceptical and that’s their right, but frankly we get pumped with so much stuff, this is just another thing in my head...and it might give us some freedom and a wee bit of confidence.
Sondra mentioned on another thread something about another single dose vaccine ( Janssen??) about to be approved.

Tang... welcome

Mel.... just sending you a great big hug.

Surgery 9/7/2007 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Latissimus dorsi flap Dx 4/2018, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to lungs, 1/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 2021, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Chemotherapy 2/4/2021 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Jan 15, 2021 07:10PM - edited Jan 15, 2021 07:12PM by Micmel

Karen~thank you sweet woman. Sending a big hug right. Back to you as well. Thank you..

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jan 15, 2021 10:54PM illimae wrote:

So, DH is having a brain MRI on Tuesday to rule out anything serious. The neurologist we met with believes his issues are most likely related to stress and poor sleep.

He seemed concerned about the MRI, so we discussed it and he said “I’m just not comfortable with chemicals being injected into me”, I spontaneously burst out laughing, then apologized and he understood why. Obviously, I meant no disrespect but the clinical innocence just got me. Ahh, the good old days before we inject or swallow who know what all the time.

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ (IHC) Chemotherapy 1/1/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2+ (IHC) Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 5/22/2019 External: Brain Surgery 1/21/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/16/2020 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External: Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jan 15, 2021 10:55PM emac877 wrote:

Karen - I'm so sorry to hear that news. My hope is that the weekend goes quickly and easily for you and that your stay in the hospital is brief. I pray the Xeloda is a better and more effective treatment for you.

Dx 2/8/2018, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 3/22/2018 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 6/7/2018 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 8/26/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Chest wall Dx 12/4/2019, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Surgery 12/11/2019 Radiation Therapy 12/22/2019 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 1/6/2020 Verzenio Hormonal Therapy 1/7/2020 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy 11/11/2020 Aromasin (exemestane)
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Jan 16, 2021 12:38AM SeeQ wrote:

Karen - that's disappointing news, too say the least. Hopefully, they can make you more comfortable right now, and the Xeloda will push it back.

Candy - Good news about the vaccine. I hope, as time goes by and more and more people are vaccinated, we can all feel safe(r) in public. I have no idea when I'll be eligible in my state. A single dose vaccine would be great if it's equally effective.

Mae - First your story about 'chemicals being injected into me" is hilarious. He must be tired. lol. I hope he could laugh with you afterwards. In all seriousness, I hope his scans are clear. It may be time for him to focus on self-care a little more. Second, I thought you were on a 'food holiday' - which is what I often do when dh is away. I eat things that I love that he either cannot eat, or does not care to. Last, but not least, hurray! for your stable scan.

Tang - welcome

I had bloodwork today so my MO will have my TMs for my appointment next week. If everything looks good, we're going to slow my appointment schedule to alternate between checking TMs and an MO appointment every other month, and hold off on my next scan until 6 months, ideally. Practically speaking, it makes sense - it's not liike walking into the MO's office keeps me stable - but there's still part of me that worries about it. I got to have lunch and dinner with my ds, so it's been a good day, all in all.

De Novo Stage IV; numerous mets in liver; single small breast tumor identified 4 weeks later Dx 6/2/2020, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Hormonal Therapy 7/3/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy 7/10/2020 Verzenio
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Jan 16, 2021 12:50AM - edited Jan 16, 2021 01:21AM by tangandchris

Thank you for the welcome!

I hope I can keep up. I will try to go back and read to get to know y'all.

I'm having a tough time today with this MBC crap. I got the call to schedule my first PET since starting treatment and started feeling instantly panicked. It's on the 25th so I have pulled myself together lol.

But, my birthday is Monday and I just have all kinds of mixed feelings. Between Covid and cancer there won't be the normal family gathering for it.

I guess I'm feeling depressed. I hate to admit it, but there it is.

Tomorrow is a new day and hoping for new mercies.

((Hugs))

Edited to add more complaining

My reconstruction with TE's failed...had them removed because of infection. I am still unsure of if or when I will try again. Dx 10/24/2013, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 6/25 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/23/2013 Lymph node removal: Left; Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 2/13/2014 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Dx 10/2020, Stage IV, metastasized to other, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Jan 16, 2021 04:33AM Kittykat9876 wrote:

Hi everyone, I've just been resting up while waiting for the call to have my port inserted.

Candy, I'm so sorry to hear about your friends dh, I hope they can keep him comfortable, its so hard when we can't give the support we usually give but I'm sure your friend knows you'd be there in a heartbeat if you could. Good to hear you will be getting your vaccine, we don't start vaccinating here until February at the earliest.

Karen, I hope they get you breathing better on Monday, I know what it's like not to be able to get enough air, it's very distressing.

Welcome Tang, and here's wishing you the best birthday on Monday.

Mae, congrats on stable and I hope dh's MRI goes well on Tuesday.

Wishing everyone else a peaceful weekend, take care, Cathie xx.


Surgery 5/23/2013 Lumpectomy Dx 10/31/2017, Left, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs/other, Grade 3, 2/22 nodes Chemotherapy 1/28/2021 Navelbine (vinorelbine) Targeted Therapy Afinitor (everolimus) Radiation Therapy External: Bone Hormonal Therapy
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Jan 16, 2021 08:51AM GoldensRBest wrote:

Mae - great news about MRI results. Almost spit out my coffee this morning when I read your hubs response to his MRI.

Welcome Tang. Mel set up a great living room for us!

Hugs to all

Dx 6/1990, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, 1/20 nodes, ER+/PR+ Dx 7/1999, IDC, Right, <1cm Dx 7/26/2019, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Hormonal Therapy 9/1/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 9/25/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Chemotherapy CMF Surgery Mastectomy Surgery Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Jan 16, 2021 09:20AM illimae wrote:

Tangandchris, happy birthday Monday 🎉

Mixed feelings about birthdays or anything really when your recently diagnosed is totally understandable. I thought the 1st since cancer might just be my last but after being in treatment for a while, I realized it wasn’t the immediate death sentence, I thought it was. Now I not only celebrate my birthday but I’ve added a 1/2 birthday at the 6 month mark.

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ (IHC) Chemotherapy 1/1/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2+ (IHC) Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 5/22/2019 External: Brain Surgery 1/21/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/16/2020 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External: Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jan 16, 2021 10:53AM - edited Jan 16, 2021 11:25AM by Micmel

Tang~It does take time to digest an MBC diagnosis. I don't think Ive still accepted it. I've always been a force to reckon with. But that is no longer the case. The steam is out of the pot. In two weeks it will be five years for me since diagnosis Jan 22,2016. That dreadful phone call, and it came so fast I knew. Barely two days. But I've been lucky to get on-a. Good regimen and have been nead for the majority of that time. So it's all individual in our treatments. Take it day by day. It's all we can do.

Edited; I agree with Mae completely. I use half year marks myself lol all the time. It’s. A big deal. 6 months.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jan 16, 2021 11:56AM Sunshine99 wrote:

Tang, welcome and sorry. I'm fairly new (less than a year) into my mets diagnosis. I remember reading my reports over and over again and not believing I was seeing the word "metastatic". Wait, WHAT??? Who, ME???

Then when I met with the radiation oncologist, and heard his nurse use the word "palliative" radiation, I freaked out a little. Isn't "palliative" like "hospice"? NOPE! Palliative just refers to helping with the symptoms, in my case pain. The palliative radiation to my hip, femur and spine significantly reduced my pain. So, don't let that word scare you.

Let us know how you are doing. I do hope you have a very happy birthday!

Carol

Cancer has progressed to my bones. I pray that it never enters my soul. Dx 11/2/2007, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 3/26/2020, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR-, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 4/22/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 5/5/2020 External: Bone Radiation Therapy 5/12/2020 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 6/10/2020 Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Jan 16, 2021 12:01PM Rosie24 wrote:

Karen, I’m in your pocket for your hospitalization on Monday. I hope the draining is tolerable and that your new med will work hard against any new mets. 🌺

TangandChris, I hope you can gradually adjust to your new dx. I too felt doomed early on, but with a few encouraging scans after starting treatment my outlook changed quite a bit. What treatment are you on now? Please check in here whenever you feel like it. Mel’s living room is a comfy and supportive place.

Mae, Yay for the stable scan! It’s so true we don’t even think twice about all the drugs and treatments anymore. My DH had a kidney stone (that became inactive for a few months) a while back and his doc warned him that one ct is equal to 12 X-rays, so getting a ct to check on it wasn’t without risk. Hah. Then there’s me (and lots of us) getting CTs every 3-4 months and radiation for 25 days after lumpectomy. Yeah, we just do whatever might be useful in holding cancer back. Hope your DH does ok with the mri, and there’s nothing to report. Innocence is a good word btw. Fajitas sound awesome.

Hello to everyone. Have a calm Saturday. Laundry is my agenda item for the day, maybe some closet organizing. We’ll see


Dx 1/23/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 1/24/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 1/24/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery 12/3/2019 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 12/3/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy Whole-breast
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Jan 16, 2021 12:17PM Micmel wrote:

You’re all such kind, sweet, loving ladies.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jan 16, 2021 01:32PM candy-678 wrote:

Welcome tangandchris. It is weird what we get used to. I have been doing this dance with MBC for over 3 years now. It is tiring. The "maintenance" of it-- labs, shots, doc visits, scans. But you get in a rhythm. It is a struggle though. And we all get depressed--- I know I do. Visit us often here. We truly "get it" here.

Mae- Pocket duty for DH MRI. Does he know we do "pocket duty"? Something else for him to realize we do.

Kittykat- Good to hear from you !!!!

Today is laundry, balance checkbook, answer a couple of emails. Not much going on. I will call my friend later and see how she is doing.


Found mets on CT for unrelated issue. I only had 2 treatments with IV chemo for the Stage II, then found Stage 4 and switched to hormone therapy/targeted therapy. I consider myself de novo. Also using Xgeva injections for bone mets Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin) Chemotherapy AC Surgery Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left
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Jan 16, 2021 01:47PM mara51506 wrote:

Tang, sorry that you are so new to MBC, I must for me that was the worst time with all the fear and sadness I was feeling. I was stage 4 from t he start with some cancer cells in my brain that did not form a tumour until a year after I was diagnosed. I am going into my 7th year if you start counting from 2015. I am largely used to it all now and am glad to be stable but I do know it can change. Now that I have some distance, I am no longer fearful. That would change with any new developments. I will say that regular life makes me more anxious than my own cancer. I am realistic about it but don't largely think about it. That is just me, I had social workers, a nurse who came in after my Mom died of lung cancer and I could have family help if I would ask for it. I also have a friend I speak to by phone. I am not even that worried about covid, just follow any rules put out and that is about it.

Mae pocket duty for your husband as well.

Karen, I am sorry to hear about the progression and fluid in your lung. Hoping draining will provide relief for breathing.

Anyone struggling, I think of you all. I missed a few people I know but I do care for you all.

I did not do anything much today, went to pick up groceries by foot and also walked a bit on my treadmill. Got home and did not pay attention to where I was and tripped over my cubii. I was unhurt except for what I know will be a nasty bruise. I did cause pain but is fine now. It took me a minute to figure out getting up. Used my yoga mat. Had to scooch over on my butt and then put the mat in front of the chair I needed to brace myself on to get up. Got up, did a few self pity tears and am OK now. Been a while since I tripped over anything so have been lucky thus far.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Right Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jan 16, 2021 03:13PM SondraF wrote:

Tang - my first birthday after diagnosis was last May and I spent the whole day crying in bed. It was awful but I just couldn't get it together - I hadn't cried that hard since I was first diagnosed (8 months before), though I haven't cried like that since. Frustrated mostly that due to dumb Covid I couldn't even have a nice birthday (normally we go on a trip somewhere) and even a restaurant or a bar for a drink was out of the question because everything was still locked up. Ive never been a big fan of birthdays but still, damnit - SOMETHING different would have been good, of all birthdays. So its ok if you are bummed, its a lot to process.

And Rosie (and the others!) are right - once you get in the swing of things, start feeling better, see evidence the treatments are working, the fear and sadness fade into the background most of the time.

Dx 9/27/2019, IDC, Right, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 11/29/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 11/29/2019 Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin)
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Jan 16, 2021 03:26PM jaycee49 wrote:

Many of you know me and I know many of you. I posted on this thread a few times a long time ago. I read it all the time when I put it in my favorites. I put it in favorites and take it out from time to time. I don't really know why. I'm keeping it in favorites now because you guys talk about things other than cancer. Like laundry. You guys do a lot of laundry. I finally figured out why that is. You guys spend a lot of time in each others' pockets. Pockets must be clean to have company.

I probably won't post much. I don't post much anywhere anymore. Most people don't appreciate my attitude which is snarky, sarcastic, and cynical. I am totally done with medical providers who mostly live in the 1800's when they used to tell women that their ailments were "all in their heads." They just have different ways of expressing it now like, "anticipatory side effects" and "anxiety." This happens to be my pet peeve right now. I'll move on to something else that annoys me soon. I just wanted to tell you about my laundry revelation.

I'm thinking about my Scotish friend, Karen, a lot. My Faslodex (with Ibrance for me) experiment may end soon, too. Xeloda hovers. My big question about Xeloda is that you take no estrogen suppression with it. Why is it that for YEARS we have worried about estrogen and possibly progesterone levels and with Xeloda, it's like, "who cares about that silly hormone(s)." What happened? I am confused. I pretty much stay confused and ask silly questions and with no answers, I stay angry when I think about my medical situation. As the years go by (7 so far), I'm getting really good at NOT thinking about that. That's the trick, I find. Difficult but doable. For your new person, that's the trick. Not so doable when you are new. But I decided to not let cancer steal my time. I spent so much time worrying at the beginning and most of that time was wasted. I always say, I wish I had that time back.

Janet (dx with MS at 41, slows me down some) Dx 4/25/2014, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ Surgery 6/4/2014 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Targeted Therapy 8/4/2014 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 8/4/2014 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 10/1/2014 Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 2/14/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Dx 3/25/2016, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, Grade 2, 1/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2016 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 3/31/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Jan 16, 2021 03:29PM Micmel wrote:

we like snarky

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jan 16, 2021 03:51PM tangandchris wrote:

Thank you again for the welcome!!

I love snarky too tee-hee

My husband, 11 year old daughter and I went out for a nice walk earlier. It was really nice to go out and be together as a family.

Now we are getting ready to hunker down for some playoff football.

You all are so uplifting. ❤

My reconstruction with TE's failed...had them removed because of infection. I am still unsure of if or when I will try again. Dx 10/24/2013, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 6/25 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/23/2013 Lymph node removal: Left; Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 2/13/2014 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Dx 10/2020, Stage IV, metastasized to other, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Jan 16, 2021 03:54PM jaycee49 wrote:

I know you do, Mel. I just find myself self-censoring my posts to make sure they are "nice." I find many BCO people are "too nice" and I rub them the wrong way. It makes me stay quiet. Better for me. Better for you. I can hear the sighs of relief.

Janet (dx with MS at 41, slows me down some) Dx 4/25/2014, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ Surgery 6/4/2014 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Targeted Therapy 8/4/2014 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 8/4/2014 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 10/1/2014 Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 2/14/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Dx 3/25/2016, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, Grade 2, 1/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2016 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 3/31/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib)

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