Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Feb 11, 2019 12:09PM ADDK wrote:

Parrynd1, I had to cross a huge mental barriere to accept morphine due to pain from skin mets. Just today I have increased the dose so that I´m taking morphine three times a day together with another pain killer (nerve pain). The latter makes my dizzy for a couple of hours, that´s it. Since my pain has come somewhat under control I´ve realized that it was also a constant mental reminder of my disease. The pain does not go away until our skin mets have been knocked down, so I can only recommend that you join me in the druggie club :-)

Dx 2/10/2017, Left, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 3/16 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+, Chemotherapy 2/24/2017 AC Surgery 8/8/2017 Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement Dx 6/10/2018, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to other, HER2+, Targeted Therapy 10/26/2018 Kadcyla (T-DM1, ado-trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 2/6/2019 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 2/6/2019 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab) Chemotherapy Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab)
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Feb 11, 2019 12:37PM Lynnwood1960 wrote:

Mae, Alan Parsons Project....WOW!!! So exciting!! I’m anxious to see more pictures and hear about this amazing adventure!!

Dx 4/6/2015, ILC, Right, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 0/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Feb 11, 2019 12:41PM Lynnwood1960 wrote:

Tanya, OUCH!!! That looks very sore!! I think it may take a while to heal. I’m glad that you weren’t very seriously hurt but that looks pretty bad to me. Thank goodness for the kind people who help us when we’re down, in your case literally down. I call them Gods angels on Earth.

Dx 4/6/2015, ILC, Right, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 0/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Feb 11, 2019 12:47PM Lynnwood1960 wrote:

Parry, good luck on your new treatment. You know that we will all be in your pocket! Wishing you minimal side effects. As far as worrying about becoming addicted to meds, my feeling is that our bodies need the meds to function. It’s not like we get pleasure from them. At this point in my life, i will do whatever I need to to keep the pain at bay. I don’t like the “ drugged” feeling either and so far am managing on Tramadol although it’s not as effective for as long as it used to be.

Dx 4/6/2015, ILC, Right, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 0/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Feb 11, 2019 12:51PM Lynnwood1960 wrote:

Lynne, you are always in our pockets and today it’s our turn to be in yours!! Wishing you successful treatment with minimal side effects. Let us know if the icing is effective, I’ve heard that it can be very effective for neuropathy. Stay as warm as you can.

Dx 4/6/2015, ILC, Right, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 0/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Feb 11, 2019 12:54PM Lynnwood1960 wrote:

Micmel, I know I’m not the first to express concern that you are going to run yourself ragged. You can’t pour from an empty cup my friend. Not a lecture, just genuine concern . I admire your ability to forgive and move forward, forgiveness is my biggest character flaw. I am not very good at it but am a lot better then I used to be. Try to rest whenever you get a chance.

Dx 4/6/2015, ILC, Right, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 0/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Feb 11, 2019 01:56PM Parrynd1 wrote:

50’s Lynn I’ll jump in your pocket too! I dress extra warm for infusion days so no worries on the cold. Maybe my little rock will help keep you warm even with the hands and feet. Good luck today!

Dx 9/4/2016, IDC, Right, 4cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 11/30/2016 Other Chemotherapy 2/22/2017 AC Surgery 5/18/2017 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Chemotherapy 6/15/2017 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 10/5/2017 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 3/2018, IDC, Right, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain/bone/lungs/other, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Radiation Therapy 5/24/2018 External: Brain Chemotherapy 6/28/2018 Other Targeted Therapy 10/1/2018 Avastin (bevacizumab) Radiation Therapy 12/28/2018 Whole breast: Breast Chemotherapy 12/30/2018 Halaven (eribulin) Dx 1/29/2019, IDC, <1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to other, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-, Dx 2/5/2019, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2-, Surgery Chemotherapy Other
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Feb 11, 2019 02:23PM micmel wrote:

Hello ladies. Hi Lynne 50’s good to see you beautiful.

Lynnwood~ I 100% agree with you, my back isn’t doing well and I am hurting a lot more than before. I am not napping like I was and my spine knows it. I ran into see him today for five mins. Grabbed the laundry. My step monster was there. So I took that chance to hit the highway. I need to rest my tweaked back. My goodness such pain. Wow. Thank you for being honest with me. I need to hear it sometimes. My DH also doesn’t want me over doing anything at all. I’m afraid I’m getting a cold. I’ve been coughing. Didn’t want to make him sick. I’m glad I get to stay home the rest of today and tomorro. The weather is my concern. This is so difficult. I can’t be a caretaker. I need one. It’s realh rocking my world and my body. They weighed him today. He Is 6”3 and now weighs 106 lbs. skin and bones. I don’t know how much longer this is going to go on. One week and I am in tears. I am forced to slow it down. Ugh! Love you ladies. Hi Parry honey. 🌹💕 I also have to have my pills. Sometimes we have to do what we must to relieve our own suffering from this shit hole cancer. ADDK~Welcome to our little home. Like cheers. Everybody knows your name. Pull up a stool and join team FU cancer! Welcome to you!!

Tanya~My poor sweetheart... I know how much it sucks to fall. Ouchie!!! I am so glad someone was around to help you. My goodness, I’m so glad it wasn’t worse or you broke something. Rest and ice sweet sister. Feel Better soon! We are all so strong sometimes and weak others. I hope that it heals up quickly For you!
Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Feb 11, 2019 02:38PM 50sgirl wrote:

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and support. It means a lot to me. I am home now. The infusion was uneventful. I did ice my hands and feetto try to ward off neuropathy. Some people on the taxol thread had recommended it.I hope it works. I also hope that taxol blows the cancer cells into oblivion.

We are expecting snow beginning tomorrow night. I want to run back to Florida.

Hugs and prayers from, Lynne



Dx 6/5/2015, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/10/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole) Dx 8/9/2016, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 8/10/2016 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy 8/31/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 7/3/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Chemotherapy 10/2/2018 Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy 2/11/2019 Taxol (paclitaxel) Hormonal Therapy 11/12/2019 Aromasin (exemestane) Targeted Therapy 11/13/2019 Afinitor (everolimus) Hormonal Therapy 12/27/2019 Femara (letrozole) Chemotherapy 3/8/2020 Adriamycin (doxorubicin) Targeted Therapy 2/6/2021 Verzenio Chemotherapy 4/13/2021 Halaven (eribulin) Chemotherapy 9/30/2021 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Methotrexate (Amethopterin, Mexate, Folex) Chemotherapy 2/11/2022 translation missing: en.treatments.chemotherapy.chemotherapy_regimen.options.short_drugs.epithilone.ixempra
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Feb 11, 2019 06:02PM GracieM2007 wrote:

Lynn, glad things went well! Praying for you to have no bad se's!!!!

Everybody starting new chemos, thinking of you today as I do #20 weekly Abraxane!!! Praying it keeps the cancer at bay. They aren't using the port, I think my Inc is going to send me to the surgeon....time will tell.

dx 4/11/2007, rt. mast 4/27/2007, 1.7cm IDC, stage 2, Grade 3, 1.4cm tumor in one node,, ER/PR+, Her2-, 4 DD AC, 4 DD T, Arimidex/ 2016 mets to bone, extensive. Femera, Xgeva. 1/18 Faslodex, Ibrance. July 2018, Abraxane.

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