Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 06:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 10:42AM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 06:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 10:42AM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 4, 2019 05:43PM micmel wrote:

I think this applies to us all about now... sometimes I just can’t form the right words.. so much to just plain deal with. Or just accept. I am Sick of just accepting !

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 4, 2019 05:49PM - edited Mar 4, 2019 05:49PM by micmel

I also need to bring up someone else im greatly concerned about is Sheila Marie... if anyone has heard from. Her. Please just let us know. I know it's been months now. As well as Lynne Manchester. 💔💔🥺

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 4, 2019 05:55PM illimae wrote:

Sorry Donnabelle, some losses are beyond devastating and it can be very difficult to pick ourselves back up.


Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 1/1/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2+ Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External Local Metastases 10/19/2017 Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External Local Metastases 4/18/2018 Brain Radiation Therapy 5/22/2019 External Local Metastases 5/22/2019 Brain Surgery 1/22/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/16/2020 External Local Metastases 2/16/2020 Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External Local Metastases 7/20/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External Local Metastases 12/4/2020 Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Mar 4, 2019 08:49PM Lynnwood1960 wrote:

Tears, sadness and prayers after reading today. I feel like my mind is spinning with all of this bad news. Thinking of those who have left us and praying for those who are struggling.
Dx 4/6/2015, ILC, Right, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 0/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Mar 5, 2019 12:29AM Minnie31 wrote:

Donnabelle, I can't even imagine how awful it would be to lose your child. I wish we could all wrap our arms around you and make you feel better.

Love to all, we continue to think of those we are not hearing from and pray they are doing ok.

Packing today, will hopefully follow everyone when wifi is possible

Dx 10/20/2016, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, HER2+
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Mar 5, 2019 05:51AM micmel wrote:

because we have to laugh sometimes. I shared this on the cat thread. But we all need a laugh. Daniel. And Leslie. Waiting for you guys!

https://www.facebook.com/1739130072974269/posts/2264265600460711?sfns=mo

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 5, 2019 06:06AM blueshine wrote:

Good morning to all my sisters! Yesterday I read about Z. She was one of the first one to give me hope here.... And Bob,s...... After Bob passed away I was afraid to open the computer and maybe see on other sister disappeared..... I am crashed and my hart is crying....! But what more helps me is thinking that their beautiful souls are flying and shining free of any pain, looking from there for their loved ones.

Sending my love to all of you. Elen

Dx 9/2011, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/18 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Dx 10/2017, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole)
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Mar 5, 2019 08:05AM micmel wrote:

Blueshine~I agree completely Z was informative and strong, she was a person who always dug deep to find out anything to help someone's side effects or direction for choice of treatment.. always empathy with a strong hand and opinion. But with the best intentions and deep commitment to trying out of the box treatments to perhaps move the needle for our sisters to come. I am still in shock and I do realize that she stepped away because she knew. Her family was always the top of her priority and spending amazing time pushing forward no matter how she felt to get that hike in or jog that extra half mile. She is and will always be a warrior. I will perhaps always look for her postings. I feel that way about all those we have lost.

Daniel and Leslie. Thinking of you. Both very much.

~M~

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 5, 2019 08:08AM Grannax2 wrote:

Huge sorrow fills my heart and soul today. So many stories of how life just goes on and no one sees us. Donnabelle you especially are in my broken heart today. The sadness that is always moving on. I'm in the middle of a emotional mess with my family right now. It's tearing me up. More later.

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Mar 5, 2019 08:20AM micmel wrote:

Grannax~Oh honey I wish I could wrap my arms around you and let you know you are loved.. I am also in the middle of much turmoil in my family as well. My father, while I understand he's dying, it's a very demanding thing to deal with daily. Now that I'm feeling better he knows it. He called me at 730 am this morning asking me for a cigarette.... it's so stressful. But at the same time. I want to be loving and kind. So many years lost. I feel your pain today even though I may not know why. Sisters lean on sisters m... it's what we do. Hold on sweet one. ~M~

He just called me again. This is going to be something else. Are you coming by? I’m waiting for my sister to arrive. I’m already tired. Life is just plain hard!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)

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