Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/9/2016 AC Surgery 6/20/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 5, 2019 06:57PM Parrynd1 wrote:

Thanks Micmel. Sometimes it’s hard to remind myself of that seeing the skin mets spread so much and the consistent bad news. I’m still hoping for the best. I just need to find the one treatment that will beat it back. All in Gods Grace and I trust him and his plan. I’m trying to get a second opinion at MD Anderson in houston since my husband wants to raise our kids there and it will be a good place for his career. We can also buy our dream home there. I called and they said they only accept employer sponsored insurance no private plans or anything else. They have a clinic there specific for TNBC which I’m hoping will be able to handle things better than my current MO. Still have hope and we are still pursuing our dreams.
Dx 9/4/2016, IDC, Right, 4cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 11/30/2016 Other Chemotherapy 2/22/2017 AC Surgery 5/18/2017 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Chemotherapy 6/15/2017 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 10/5/2017 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 3/2018, IDC, Right, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain/bone/lungs/other, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Radiation Therapy 5/24/2018 External: Brain Chemotherapy 6/28/2018 Other Targeted Therapy 10/1/2018 Avastin (bevacizumab) Radiation Therapy 12/28/2018 Whole breast: Breast Chemotherapy 12/30/2018 Halaven (eribulin) Dx 1/29/2019, IDC, <1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to other, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-, Dx 2/5/2019, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2-, Surgery Chemotherapy Other
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Mar 5, 2019 07:07PM - edited Mar 5, 2019 07:07PM by micmel

Parry~ My sweet sister. Yes your dream home.... yes your children. Focus on the future. God does have his plan for us all. Although I understand people wrestle with faith as I do. I believe in the power of love. The power of that feeling like nothing else matters. Cling to it. Make it become your heart. Breathe for it. Love for it. Live for it. You two have already beaten some amazing things together. Two weddings. I couldn't even put together one. Without sheer exhaustion! I know the skin mets are scary honey. Of course they are. But never stop asking every doctor you come across. Second, third, fourth opinions. I believe in your love with your husband....you are so special, and I believe in you.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/9/2016 AC Surgery 6/20/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 5, 2019 07:07PM ABeautifulSunset wrote:

Micmel, that's amazing about your letters. It's so great that you get to pull them out because you lived it. Just wonderful!! Btw, I tell my DS I love you to the moon.. all the time. It comes from reading him that book when he was young. He is now 21. I still say it.

I pop in on other threads here and there. A regular reader, but I don't post an awful lot. I've changed treatments so many times that I can't seem to find a home on one thread.

This thread intimidated me because you are all so wonderful and supportive of each other. I'm generally not so nurturing. It takes a certain mood for me to reach out.

Lynne, thanks for making me feel welcome. I'm currently on Gemzar and Cisplatin. Two cycles down.... we'll see.

Hi Parry. You are one brave bitch! (In a good way).

🌄 ABeautifulSunset



“Sunsets are proof that endings can be beautiful too.” Radiation Therapy External: Breast, Chest wall, Bone Chemotherapy TAC Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Fat grafting, Silicone implant, Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Fat grafting, Silicone implant, Tissue expander placement Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane), Faslodex (fulvestrant), Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy Afinitor (everolimus) Targeted Therapy Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy Doxil (doxorubicin) Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Targeted Therapy Targeted Therapy Afinitor (everolimus) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy Gemzar (gemcitabine)
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Mar 5, 2019 07:11PM Parrynd1 wrote:

Sunset thanks! I’ll take it, lol. We are on the same treatment too. Let’s hope it kicks cancer butt! It’s definitely kicking my blood counts so it’s doing something.

Dx 9/4/2016, IDC, Right, 4cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 11/30/2016 Other Chemotherapy 2/22/2017 AC Surgery 5/18/2017 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Chemotherapy 6/15/2017 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 10/5/2017 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 3/2018, IDC, Right, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain/bone/lungs/other, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Radiation Therapy 5/24/2018 External: Brain Chemotherapy 6/28/2018 Other Targeted Therapy 10/1/2018 Avastin (bevacizumab) Radiation Therapy 12/28/2018 Whole breast: Breast Chemotherapy 12/30/2018 Halaven (eribulin) Dx 1/29/2019, IDC, <1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to other, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-, Dx 2/5/2019, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2-, Surgery Chemotherapy Other
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Mar 5, 2019 07:14PM micmel wrote:

Beautifulsunset~well welcome home then.... there are no rules or hang ups. Just love and support. Whatever you feel like you want to offer is fine with us. We just love on each other and are honestly a loving group with hopes and dreams for each other's successes..... I hope you will find this place your home here with us. There will always be a stool with your name on it. Because once you're here. You're never forgotten! 🥰. I absolutely love that book. I read it every night I could to my kids. It means so much to me. A lot of those make me swoon with memories. I'm glad we Already share a memory within this book. Much love to you ! ~M~

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/9/2016 AC Surgery 6/20/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 5, 2019 07:36PM 50sgirl wrote:

ABeautifulSunset, I think that you have underestimated the value of your contributions to the discussion boards. I have always found your words to be informative and supportive. It doesn’t matter how often you post, you are always welcome.

Hugs and prayers from, Lynne


Dx 6/5/2015, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/10/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole) Dx 8/9/2016, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 8/10/2016 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy 8/31/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 7/3/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Chemotherapy 10/2/2018 Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy 2/11/2019 Taxol (paclitaxel) Hormonal Therapy 11/12/2019 Aromasin (exemestane) Targeted Therapy 11/13/2019 Afinitor (everolimus) Hormonal Therapy 12/27/2019 Femara (letrozole) Chemotherapy 3/8/2020 Adriamycin (doxorubicin) Targeted Therapy 2/6/2021 Verzenio Chemotherapy 4/13/2021 Halaven (eribulin)
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Mar 5, 2019 07:44PM micmel wrote:

Isn’t that the truth ? Our suffering has to mean something. I believe it is friendship and love.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/9/2016 AC Surgery 6/20/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 5, 2019 08:29PM illimae wrote:

Parry, I go to MDA. If you come down and are up for it, we should have lunch. I love all my people there, especially my neuro rads onc (Dr. Yeboa). Anyway, PM me if you have questions 😀

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 1/2/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/2/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/2/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 10/20/2017 External Local Metastases 10/20/2017 Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External Local Metastases 4/18/2018 Brain Radiation Therapy 5/23/2019 External Local Metastases 5/23/2019 Brain Surgery 1/22/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/17/2020 External Local Metastases 2/17/2020 Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External Local Metastases 7/20/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External Local Metastases 12/4/2020 Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Mar 6, 2019 08:56AM - edited Mar 6, 2019 09:51AM by micmel

good morning lovelies~. I hope today is a strength filled good day for us all!! A little chilly. Like 10 ? With wind. Gross. Still waiting for News from Daniel and Our sweet Leslie.

Hello Mae~~~Tanya~~in Hawaii more pics. We need happiness. Parry~~Blueshine ~~Donna~~Minnie, beautiful Minnie~~MJH thinking of you~~Masonsma~Bigbhome ~~~Lynne(50’s)~~Rosie~~Bella~~Runor~~Daywalker~~a beautifulsunset~~Grannax~~lynnwood ~~skitz~pots~~Muddling~~stilllivin~~our Lynne(Manchester)who we miss so much...Chelle....Nan...Gumdoctor.....sandibeaches....Gracie....

Elleonwheels...Miss Bianca....Footprints...bincolorado......Holmes.....marianelizabeth....

BooBoo

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/9/2016 AC Surgery 6/20/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 6, 2019 11:59AM ABeautifulSunset wrote:

Good morning Mic! And everyone else. Pouring rain here. As if it isn't hard enough to go out. Oh well, intimately rain is good. Onward into the day!

Sunset


“Sunsets are proof that endings can be beautiful too.” Radiation Therapy External: Breast, Chest wall, Bone Chemotherapy TAC Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Fat grafting, Silicone implant, Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Fat grafting, Silicone implant, Tissue expander placement Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane), Faslodex (fulvestrant), Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy Afinitor (everolimus) Targeted Therapy Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy Doxil (doxorubicin) Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Targeted Therapy Targeted Therapy Afinitor (everolimus) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy Gemzar (gemcitabine)

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