Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 05:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 09:42AM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 05:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 09:42AM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 26, 2019 07:47PM micmel wrote:

Jo~Pick some grande sized pockets! We will try to keep it down and limit the noise. We are with you!

Waving hello to GumDoctor! 👋

Hugs friends. ~M~

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 26, 2019 07:51PM JoE777 wrote:

Well Ladies, tomorrow is my 4 month pet/ct scan - cap to mid thigh. Always a little nervous but I've been on a kisqali break since December so we'll see if letrozole can hold the line. Looking for Texas size pockets

Dx 2/2012, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, metastasized to bone, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/3/2012 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Hormonal Therapy 1/7/2018 Femara (letrozole) Dx 2/2018, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane), Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Chemotherapy Other Radiation Therapy External: Bone Targeted Therapy Kisqali
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Mar 26, 2019 08:20PM illimae wrote:

JoE, I’ll be representing Houston and jumping in those big ol’ pockets. Any leftover peanut m&m’s?

Micmel, I had no idea you had previous lung issues, please be careful and well.

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 1/1/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External Local Metastases 10/19/2017 Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External Local Metastases 4/18/2018 Brain Radiation Therapy 5/22/2019 External Local Metastases 5/22/2019 Brain Surgery 1/21/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/16/2020 External Local Metastases 2/16/2020 Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External Local Metastases 7/20/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External Local Metastases 12/4/2020 Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Mar 26, 2019 09:26PM - edited Mar 26, 2019 09:27PM by micmel

Starting to worry about Parry! Thinking of you for sure. Miss your sweet funny posts. Love you sister

Mae~Unfortunately I had been in a tubing accident in September. 2009... injured my arm terribly. Fast forward five surgeries. My lung was a complication during surgery. That's why I am always dealing with respiratory issues constantly and reoccurring infections! It's another constant battle to fight and win. It was my right arm. Which is my dominant arm. But thanks for noticing. 💙

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 26, 2019 09:38PM jkl2017 wrote:

Oh, Mel, I am so sorry you are dealing with this - you deserve a break! Here’s hoping that your pain goes away & that you mend quickly. You are a strong woman & have a whole lot of people pulling for you ... hang in there, take care of yourself & feel better soon!


Dx 2/2/2017, ILC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/7/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 3/19/2017 Internal catheter: Breast Hormonal Therapy 5/23/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane)
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Mar 27, 2019 01:33AM runor wrote:

Micmel , good lord! I hope your lung is clearing by the time you read this. Choking is one of those things I fear, since I eat like a cow, chew poorly and swallow in a hurry. I'll be one of those statistics taken out by a wayward wad of weiner. But I hope you get your airways quickly in good working order!

Grannax, doing the happy dance that you have a team you are happy with. What a relief.

Divine, there is a Bonfire thread? How did I not know this? I tend to hang around the Steamroom For Anger thread and the Stupidest Things People Have Said To You thread, because I am a spiteful person by nature.

Tanya, your day at the beach looks so peaceful. I could hear the waves as they rolled in.

Muddling, that was upsetting to read you thinking you would die alone in the night. I am very glad that you are still here to write about it. Once I woke up when Hub's radio went off in the wee hours of the morning. He used to get up for work at 3:30 every morning and the radio was set to play a station, not some god awful buzzer. So the radio is playing and half awake I am listening when I realize, with growing terror, that I cannot understand a single word that is being said. I had a stroke! I bloody well had a stroke and I can't understand speech any longer! Oh my god, I wonder if I am also paralyzed... no, I seem able to move all my limbs and everything. Then the announcer came on and said we were listening to Radio Netherlands. Everyone was speaking Norwegian and here I am flipping out that I've had a stroke. Since when does our radio station just up and start broadcasting from Norway in the middle of the night? Stupid radio station. Muddling I hope you get on a friendly frequency and feel better.

I had to write a list to keep this straight! Tamoxifen induced brain fry.

Parry... we are thinking of you. Hugs to all.

Dx 3/23/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/12/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 7/4/2017 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Mar 27, 2019 05:55AM Lynnwood1960 wrote:

Micmel, very scary time for you indeed! When fluid or food goes into your lung it’s called aspiration. The problem occurs when this causes an infection because it’s not supposed to be there. They call this infection aspiration pneumonia. Different then viral or bacterial pneumonia. It is actually quite common in older people, we used to see it a lot in our nursing home. Antibiotics are given so that’s a good thing that you are already on them . Thank goodness you are getting medical attention. The chest X-ray will give them information about how bad it is. You are already compromised because you have previous lung damage so they will be keeping a close eye on you. I’m sorry that you are having pain, no doubt from the trauma of trying to clear you throat and breath. Sending a prayer that you feel better soon. Please keep us posted.

Dx 4/6/2015, ILC, Right, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 0/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Mar 27, 2019 05:56AM Grannax2 wrote:

Back to the subject of people saying the darndest things about MBC DX and just not getting it, my SIL takes the cake.

So, two years ago I told all of my family and friends about my stage IV cancer, TWO years ago. My DD helped by texting cousins etc. She also talked a lot with her aunt, my DIL, because she is hard of hearing, etc. Fast forward two years, I'm in a group text with ten family members getting updates on a cousin's new baby who was born with numerous deformities and is struggling to live.

Somehow, we got in a discussion about how I was doing. I texted about going to a new doc and how I hoped she could help with my growing mets to liver, chest and lung. I said something about stage IV cancer being full of ups and downs with constant changes in tumors depending on whether it's responding to treatments. My SIL said Oh Vicki, I'm so sorry. When did this happen, stage IV. Oh my you must be devastated!!

I used every ounce of diplomacy I had to explain without making her feel like she was dumb for not remembering. I've been at her home numerous times during the last two years, I think in her mind, she just couldn't comprehend that I could be active and helpful if I had stage IV cancer. An impossible concept to her, evidently. Sometimes, we just have to laugh.

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Mar 27, 2019 07:15AM - edited Mar 27, 2019 07:18AM by micmel

thinking of you Joe~. 🌹🌹

Grannax~I had someone say oh I forgot you had cancer because you look so good. You're hair is longer than mine. Wow how did you do that? And she meant my hair. Nothing else mentioned or asked about my disappearance of cancer or anything so weird as that. People are just dolts sometimes for sure !

Runor ~Hello sweetheart your posts always make me smile I am always so wishing we could all gather together and just be! Hugs my friend!

Lynnwood~ yikes!! I am a mess I'll admit it Somedays I don't know how I even move honestly you all know the funk days , then the anger days. I just can't kick this bronchial thing. That scares me alone. My tumor markers were low again. But I always get scared every ache and pain. 🥵🥵🥵so annoying to be forced to live this way. I believe MBC is a curse. You look normal, but not one damn thing about this is normal, I mean nothing. I cant even wear the same clothing anymore. Swimming? Now that's a horror show I would never force anyone to witness. Uh no I care too much for humanity lol. Thanks for the info. I'll pay close attention! Going to nap already! Worn out!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 27, 2019 08:49AM tanya_djamila wrote:

Good afternoon all

We’ll be there with you tomorrow Joe.

Tanya

Tanya Dx 8/19/2003, ILC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, metastasized to bone/other, 28/28 nodes, ER+, HER2- Dx 4/19/2017, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, 0/0 nodes, ER+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/20/2017 Faslodex (fulvestrant)

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