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All Topics → Forum: Singles With Breast Cancer → Topic: Single life after a mastectomy

Topic: Single life after a mastectomy

Forum: Singles With Breast Cancer —

Singles with breast cancer who want to connect.

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Posted on: Apr 29, 2011 11:32PM

txkari wrote:

Hello --

I'm a 47 year old single, who was diagnosed with DCIS grade 3 in early March. The affected area is quite large ... 15 cm in one direction. I have had two partial mastectomies and they still don't have clear margins, so I will be getting a full mastectomy on the left side in a few weeks.

I guess I took the Dr's assurances that I would be OK, a little too much to heart. I was ready for a little surgery and radiation. I wasn't ready to be told I needed a full mastectomy. The reality of it hit me a couple of nights ago.

I haven't met with the plastic surgeon yet, so I'm not sure what my reconstruction plan is yet. My questions are ... how did you prepare yourself to see your body after the surgery? I'm rather large breasted (DD) so the difference is going to be pretty dramatic. Have you found that men can look past the changes in your body? Do they understand? I just want to know if I need to resign myself to being alone. Is there love after a mastectomy/reconstruction?

Thanks

Dx 3/4/2011, DCIS, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/0 nodes
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Apr 13, 2017 02:44PM Enerva wrote:

hi. Just stopping by to wish you all a great weekend

Simplicity yes I do have that burning feeling sometimes it is not easy to describe. Maybe other lady's whom had rad mentioned too.

I am now waiting to see my MO . For the regular check up . Hopefully they won't keep me here too long

I am tire and I need to go to school

So glad to be off tomorrow I need room sleep in ;)

Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/17/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/20/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/24/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/30/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/23/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/26/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Apr 13, 2017 02:52PM - edited Apr 13, 2017 04:19PM by Jazzygirl

Simplicity- I do believe in the concept of "it takes a village" and that children learn from everyone in their communities. Sometimes some good checks and balances that help kids to understand the world at large a lot better too. From everything I have heard, E's kids sound pretty ungrateful. A reality check from others goes a long way. Even if the parents don't always have great boundaries, many other adults do.

Boundaries are good for young people, they need them, want them and we found ways to create them when we could. I have no doubt you are a super mom, Simplicity. I am sure those kids are learning a lot from you.

Bit o spring from my my back yard this morning.....

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Apr 14, 2017 09:12AM Enerva wrote:

hi friends

Jazz how nice. I found two small plants which the squirrel bite of parts I think she is just hungry. I decided to leave some cookies out for her. I know that is no good but at least she may leave my plants alone?

There is no real solution my garden teacher told me she has known squirrels to climb up to a 23 floor building if there is enough for then to garb on to then there is nothing we can do they ll keep on coming back. But I see she now has no interest on my tree and that is good news .

I ll take few pictures today.

I plan to study all day and do laundry his afternoon

Hope you all have a wonderful good Friday.

It is so good to be off work today.

I saw my MO and he said he will see me in 1 year. Basically for some reason they there sewn me every 6 months to check on blood but cuz all is good he says no need to be back on 6 months. I am glad I don't even want ro see them. But at the same time it worries me how they only monitor if there is a huge issue small se or pain are not a concern and I always wonder what if? But I am not able to take time of work for appointment is very hard to use lunch time for those so I always happy 1 year now. No more 6 months


Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/17/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/20/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/24/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/30/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/23/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/26/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Apr 14, 2017 09:50AM - edited Apr 14, 2017 09:51AM by Jazzygirl

E- glad the squirrel is leaving the tree alone. Hope you have a good weekend with the plants and with studying. Almost done with that class!

You and I got diagnosed a month apart. I am heading towards the same thing with the once a year after I get to the five years, which I have been told is marked by my surgery date (Nov 14th). I thought when you did the five years you were done with follow ups, but my MO said I go to yearly after that is done. He said they want to monitor for late re-occurrence. I will be to five years later this year, done with the AIs next March. I will see mine MO at least through next January. He also gives me the Prolia shot to counter the bone loss on the AIs. Because my AIs stop in March, we will be in between the normal visit cycles so I need to ask him this summer, when the 6 months will stop.

I hear you on the concerns about blood work, etc. Because I see the endocrinologist now too, she checks my blood sugar regularly as well as many other things. Not sure if you have a regular physical with a family doc, but that is where things can get checked too. My primary care doc has always monitored enzymes, etc. Keep up with your regular visits to your family doc. Checks and balances.

BB- how is your mom doing? Did she get discharged yet and to rehab?

Simplicity- what will you be doing this weekend? I hope you don't have to cook.....

June- how is spring coming along in the city? Any plans for you this weekend?

Lilly- thinking of you too friend and hoping things are better for you this week

Wishing everyone a peaceful holiday weekend for Easter, Passover or just with time off.

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Apr 14, 2017 09:57AM BosumBlues wrote:

Jazz, she was released to rehab. Just the week she was in the hospital bed has made her so very weak. She cannot stand or walk now. The doctor said while we bounce back in a day, someone her age will take a week for every day she was there and she may never get back to where she was. it is difficult in that I need a plan but for now we must just watch and wait. i am heading over to see her now. She mostly just sleeps, nut there is no medical reason, just that her little body is worn out. her sis is in hospice and expected to pass any time now. Today I must share that news with her. :(

Dx IDC
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Apr 14, 2017 04:47PM Jazzygirl wrote:

BB- I am sorry your mom is so weak. I elderly people loose mobility very quickly when in bed for too many days.

I am also sorry about her sister/your aunt being in transition. Will be a very difficult to share this news with everything else going on.

Sending much love to you and your family friend Heart


Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Apr 14, 2017 07:34PM BosumBlues wrote:

It just keeps getting worse here. Do you guys believe in one being cursed? Even my sis is starting to believe there is some thing at play when she mocked me for years but even with a few hours around me she sees everything goes wrong.. It is uncanny and one can say just stream of bad luck but at some point those who surround me see weirdest. My ex bf's parents were old country and believed in such things. They had ceremonies and such, oil in water and then got rid of the curse. I never bought into this ritual but yeah, I may seem crazy but I believe I am cursed. Sis and best friends see it too and they are not wackos. Personally I started to believe in the law of attraction but they are believing I am cursed by my ex. I will not have my personal life on the internet but it is so bizarre. Sure wish that 90 year old Italian woman would do the water and oil ritual for me now because now I believe.

Dx IDC
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Apr 15, 2017 11:39AM Enerva wrote:

Oh bb I am so sorry. Who can blame you for believing such thing after seen all you have been through? Here is my opinion. If you now believe in that then go and do what ever you feel that may take it away. Cuz one thing I truly believe is the power of our own self and our own mind. Till you free your mind of what ever is botherin it then you won't see the change. My poor sister who past away always belived that she also was cursed and it was painful to see all bad things that kept on going on in her life. So no I don't believe in anything now but I do believe you need to do what ever it takes for you to feel safe and lucky and beautiful so pls if there is anything like a powerful oil or something and if there is any way for you to get your hands on it without paying $ then go for it. Do not agree to pay $ for anything cuz most are fake and most who say they need $ to help you then they are fake. There is a healthy massage therapy here very popular called rekie or something maybe you can get one? Aparently it can help too? I don't even pray anymore but I have you I'm my thoughts and I send you all my powerful mind every night before going to be I think about all of you and wish u all the good you all deserve.

Hope your mom feel better too. Once my mom came out of the hospital me and my sister who was here for 6 months to help me. we had to do estrech exercise for mom every day and the simple one was very hard for her till in a few weeks her little body started to gain strength

Hope you are better today. Here is raining and cold ; (

Here is a picture of some lithops cactus I am growing from seeds

Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/17/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/20/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/24/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/30/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/23/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/26/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Apr 15, 2017 02:17PM BosumBlues wrote:

E, what a beautiful planter. That brightened my day. Yeah, about being cursed many see it and they too believe it. My boy does not drive so I had to take him for a job interview. I told him kiddingly that I wanted to give him a kiss for good luck but didn't want to jinx him. he said "Oh yeah, good thought" as he quickly backed away from me. It is uncanny, everything I touch turns to shit. Friends and family see it too. It is so very strange. I have taken to wearing a cross. Maybe someone has a voodoo doll and is sticking pins in me? Who knows but there is weirdness.

Momma is doing better. Maybe in her best interest I should stay away.

Dx IDC
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Apr 15, 2017 02:34PM Jazzygirl wrote:

BB- I am glad to hear your mother is better and hope your son gets an offer on the job!

Wishing you better days sister Heart

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Apr 15, 2017 06:58PM - edited Apr 16, 2017 07:27AM by BosumBlues

This Post was deleted by BosumBlues.
Dx IDC
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Apr 16, 2017 07:15AM Simplicity wrote:

Morning ladies. Happy Easter.

I feel ya BB. I said the same to my therapist last week.

No plans here. Probly just visit mom and then relax at home. Youngest and I worked in the yard all day yesterday. Tn/hen we went to a friends down the street for a fire. Good times. I slept really good last night-it was probably the drinks. haha

Dx 3/31/2015, IDC, Right, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 4/21/2015 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 9/4/2015 Lymph node removal: Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 10/13/2015 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 12/28/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery 5/20/2016 Reconstruction (left): Free TRAM flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap
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Apr 16, 2017 11:50AM Enerva wrote:

good morning, hope you all are having a nice Sunday. I ll sit and study all day is the last day I can fully focus . Simplicity yesterday I study at a class mate and she offered me a small cup of red wine. It made me so sleepy lol I guess I am not use to it then drunk almost 2 litres of water lol but I did enjoy the wine.

Jazz the name of the red wine is bodacious made here at Niagara Falls

Also so a very impressive cactus in pinterest jazz check this out lol

Simplicity I bet your body was very tired from all the work in the yard. It so good you were able to go and enjoy a fire out.

Bb here is very cold they say it is 20 but I feel as if it is only 5 maybe the wind is what bothers me no sure but honestly it does no feel as 20

I went to the balcony to chase a bit of sun for my plants lol

It only lasted 20 minutes :(

2 of the hostas are coming out and my little tree is also showing he is going to be ok. I am so excited about this tree lol can't wait to see the leaves

Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/17/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/20/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/24/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/30/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/23/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/26/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Apr 16, 2017 01:16PM BosumBlues wrote:

I so hope one day to have a little balcony to fix up into a sweet little sanctuary. glad you are having such fun with your new hobby.

Dx IDC
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Apr 16, 2017 02:22PM Enerva wrote:

bb the building I am living in is in bad shape. Is sad that in 8 years it deteriorated so much. It is in a beautiful area downtown Toronto though but it is full off people who do not give a crap. For example we have people who throgh garbage downstairs and also smoke weed and when u walk to the parking lot u smell it all over it. I hate it. But I am trying to make the balcony like you said a little place to scape lol it is a short term hoby due to our winter so I ll try to enjoy as much as I can. I still have lots to fix up but just no $ and no energy like painting the doors and installing doors for my closets I through those out and have no doors now lol o well baby steps.

Just wishing the weather could warm up already so I can keep balcony open and no care about blankets or scaff lol

I was told our last frost day is may 09 SickTired

Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/17/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/20/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/24/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/30/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/23/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/26/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Apr 16, 2017 03:22PM BosumBlues wrote:

I pay $1200/mo to live in a slum. I pay heat and you should see how crappy air conditioner is in living room. There is no central air so in summer I must sleep on the couch. I have been told for years they were ordering an enclosure or something. I had it rapped with garbage bags, blankets and rugs and still a stiff breeze all winter. i just unwrapped it and am enjoying the lovely sunlight through my air conditioner. This place isn't even safe. My kids want me to buy a gun but ugh....I hate those things. I do keep a knife under my mattress.

Dx IDC
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Apr 16, 2017 03:26PM BosumBlues wrote:

Raised my kids in a very affluent town and enjoyed a shore home. Go figure. I dropped my electric toothbrush last month knowing I could never afford the $30 for a replacement.

Dx IDC
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Apr 16, 2017 03:49PM BosumBlues wrote:

For all you Christians, Happy Easter. I am not religious these days but was brought up in the faith. With everything going on I forgot but just now it brought up the memories of buying an Easter bonnet that we could wear for Palm Sunday and Easter, and we got palms which was a special treat and we were bought special little jackets that were called "Toppers" and we felt so lovely sporting our apparel Times have changed and now all about Apple phones, Nikes, designer garb and goofy stuff. I told my boy how special that topper and bonnet were. he chuckled about how simple our lives were.

Dx IDC
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Apr 16, 2017 08:10PM Enerva wrote:

ha ha ha bb yes u are right times have changed so much I remember I grew up going to churt and seen jesus in a glass coafen and it was a big deal this week. Now I don't even know what is what lol

Those were simple days and also very happy days.

This week the national guards in Venezuela also went inside the churches and through chemical gasses is just brutal and April 19 there will be lots of blood cuz both the public and the government will take the streets :(

I am in my living room balcony is open and I can hear the birds across the street by the lake

Lots and lots of noise but I clearly hear the birds which is a sing of spring is finally here.

So nice to be able to hear that sound lol

Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/17/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/20/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/24/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/30/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/23/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/26/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Apr 16, 2017 08:22PM Jazzygirl wrote:

Greetings friends - I spent some time in the great outdoors today, including at one of my fav hot springs. It did me good, getting outside is always a plus to me on the holidays when thoughts of missing family come around. It did my soul good.

Sending everyone peace and love on this Easter evening.

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Apr 16, 2017 08:52PM Enerva wrote:

Oh jazz how wonderful thanks for sharing I close my eyes and see myself there lol

So glad you were able to go. That looks different than last one. I'd it the same place? Hum send me the name I should plan to go there 4 a week lol yet I know I can't afford it right now :( but I need to keep the info in case my lottery came through lol

Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/17/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/20/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/24/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/30/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/23/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/26/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Apr 16, 2017 08:57PM Jazzygirl wrote:

E- it is called Giggling Springs. Different than the bigger one up north called Ojo Caliente. The one today is really a place to go for a few hours or a day, Ojo is good when you want to do a whole weekend!

I just found my claret cup cactus is starting to bloom (and early too). I know you will love this E.

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Apr 20, 2017 11:40PM Jazzygirl wrote:

Hi friends- Been an interesting couple weeks friends. I started realizing that this guy I have known for awhile and whom is in my professional community might just be interested in me. He came to a presentation I did, I have seen him a lot since, always seeks me out, etc. Last week, we were talking and think he almost asked me out, but didn't. Seems nervous around me all the time.

I was out with a friend last night and we were talking about relationships in the past, current people, etc. I mentioned this fellow above, but also talked about a couple guys from the past, including an old BF from 30 years ago in grad school. He were each other's rebound relationship, mine after my four year first relationship and him after a marriage. We reconnected in 2012 through social media and then I lost touch again with all that went on.

So tonight the guy from 30 years ago surfaces out of nowhere and says he is retired and traveling and wants to come visit this summer.

Wow, what happened here? Thing are changing?

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Apr 21, 2017 07:54PM Trooper2 wrote:

Jazzygirl go for it and have some fun.:)

Dx 6/15/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 3/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 7/14/2016 AC Surgery 10/24/2016 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary Surgery 1/25/2017 Mastectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy 2/21/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 3/6/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Surgery
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Apr 21, 2017 11:15PM Jazzygirl wrote:

Hi Trooper- welcome and thanks. I think I will! Happy

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Apr 22, 2017 11:31AM BosumBlues wrote:

Welcome Trooper.

Jazz, life is funny and you just never know. Go with the flow and see where it takes you.

Dx IDC
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Apr 22, 2017 11:55AM Jazzygirl wrote:

BB- how is your mom doing? Is she getting stronger in rehab?

And you, how are you doing?

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Apr 22, 2017 11:56AM BosumBlues wrote:

Jazz, everything is very bad. i will PM you when I am up to it but I do not want to share here. Thanks for asking Friend.

Dx IDC
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Apr 22, 2017 12:23PM Jazzygirl wrote:

BB- I am sorry to hear this and understand.

Dx 9/14/2012, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/14/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Apr 24, 2017 10:54PM Enerva wrote:

hi friends. Sorry was no here for a wile . I finished my class las week and finishing two this week. I will start again next week.. I am super tired and also sad cuz so much is going on in vzla. My poor country is sinking so fast :(

Jazz I love your cactus so beautiful. Thanks for sharing. I found that the hosta I planted are coming fast lol soon I ll have all pots full in the balcony.

Bb I hope all gets better. ; (

Sending u all a big hug

Oh and my period never came yet . Last one was March 16th and still waiting for it which drives me mad cuz I get pimples in my face like I am a dame teen lol

Anyway it seems my hormones are acting out. Not sure what to take for it ; (

If there is any natural medicine u guys know let me know.

Night night

Dx 8/27/2012, ILC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/17/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide) Chemotherapy 12/20/2012 Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 3/24/2013 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Radiation Therapy 5/30/2013 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 12/23/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Surgery 8/26/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)

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