Worst Thing Someone Said To You?
Comments
-
Lursa, that isn't a bad comment.
0 -
Any of you ever met an old aged bimbo? I have and it wasn't very pretty!
Two years after my mx, I signed up to be a Cancer Support Visitor/Volunteer. We were ladies who had had BC and we did a course so that we could visit newly diagnosed women in hospital after being contacted by the hospital social worker and take them a kit with booklets and a temporary prosthesis for after tx. We would stay in contact while they underwent further tx and gradually withdraw as their lives got back to 'normal'.
The lady who was my support person during tx had a lady who lived on my street and I would give her a lift to our local BC support group meetings. This sometimes led to my having a cup of coffee and getting marginally friendly with her. One day, as I was sipping on my coffee she said, "This BC thing could be a good thing if I can make some money from it. How much do you get paid to visit all those women?" I was totally gobsmacked! I explained that all the support visitors were volunteers, which I don't think she believed, as she asked the same question three more times over later weeks.
Another time, she rang me to come down there straight away as she had a problem, then hung up on me. I was fairly worried as she had been dxed with IBC and had had a bilateral mx. She was being treated at the time for Lymphodema and, with the heat/humidity of our summer, was suffering quite a bit.
I dropped what I was doing to rush down there, only to find her walking around with just a pair of shorts on. What really shocked me though, was that there were three men there, fixing the roof or plumbing or something similar. She would walk out and talk to them totally topless! Gobsmack # 2! Finally, she told me that she needed me to do a lymphatic massage, because she couldn't stand the discomfort she was suffering. I told her that I was just a volunteer, not a trained nurse/massuese/physiotherapist and couldn't touch her for that reason. To which she replied, "Well, you're not much use to me, are you?" Gobsmack # 3!
She was given excersises to do for her own benefit and she wore everyone down by not doing what she was told and then calling her doctor/physio etc.,- to come and make her feel better. In the end people (and her husband) got sick of her expecting everyone else to do the hard work that goes with lymphodema and started to avoid her.
I think we all felt a little guilty after she passed away, but some people just wear you out emotionally.
Sheila
P. S. I can't tell you all # 4, as it's too crude.
0 -
Actually have a great sotry for today as a friend of mine from high school, jsut send me a hat from a recent cruise she was on and did a 5K walk in my honor FOR THE Cure on Deck!!!I IT came at a time during this 2nd tx where i felt i was alone and in a pity pot.It shows you, that no matter where we are in this journey there is always that one bright light that ignites you once again!!!Will wear that hat with pride!!!!
For those stories i read here. feel bad as i can relate.. just keep being the great and hearfful person you are in spite of the idiots!!!!
Good thoughts,
Donna
0 -
Love this thread. Bump. Tami
0 -
Bump & a story.
Worst thing anyone's said to me SO FAR is when I told a friend the date of my mast was May 19th. She said,
"Fine! Steal my thunder. You KNEW my b-day is May 20th."
Dead silence in room. I got up and walked out. It went completely over her head. SHEESH!
Did I say 'Friend'?
P.S. Happy Birthday, Barbe!
xoxo
Lursa
0 -
I added a worst story much earlier on this thread - but I have a new one. I was at a business meeting and saw someone that I had not seen for a long time. They saw my very short hair growing back and inquired. I also caught them eyeing my port (it is a lump on my chest) and so I explained what it was. I also explained that my dr. suggested I keep the port in four months to one year, just in case I need it, but hopefully not. This person said to me, "Oh I didnt know you could have chemo again; I thought people were either cured or ...." Then they stuttered and turned red. I could not speak. I went to the ladies room and had a major hot flash.
0 -
Lursa, I am just flabbergasted! Also, my birthday is May 21, So what's the big idea!? HA! I am having surgery Monday the 18th so I guess I am stealing my own thunder.
I tell myself a lot of people blurt out stupidity out of fear and awkwardness. But man.
0 -
Not sure if I put this out there but last April 7th I had breast surgery at the young age of 56 and when I got home from Boston to Mo my nieghbor next door came over to see me and said can I ask where they put your NIPPLE hello I said I dont know she said her sister law had it sewn on her hip but she never had reconstruction NOW I thought that was funny not insultated at all but if we cant laugh we will cry I KNOW....I am going back to Boston (born and raised there) and having my tissue expander out and it was a year ago this memoral weekend i had completed my first chemo still felt good but very isolated like when you have the baby and all your friends are going out and having fun come on your remember too admit it ...but some lady stopped me and told me about this site and god bless you all you have been in my heart since every one of you are wonderful ladies and us bostonians are usually snobby but I have been in MO since 72. I thought I would have hair on this weekend my baby boy graduates but not enough hair to show for his day and my tears to see him walk across that stage and know I was still here god I hope I get to be here for all of it including college grandbabies it would be a shame I will make a wonderful grandmother since I have my 3 sons...hugs to all of you
0 -
Easing back into work at the advice of my Onc. So, in the office a few hours today. Walked out to the parking deck at the end of the day with a colleague. Who had the gall to say to me "have you ever thought of a wig.!"
I've been an embrace the bald kind of girl. Didn't like the wig, hated it, looked terrible, scratchy, hot, uncomforatble, and I got along bald and now with a short stubble just fine. I donated a completely unused wig to a group who will give it to someone without the insurance or ability to buy one. I said "have you ever worn one." He answeres "are you kidding me." I said "no, not kidding, have you ever tried to wear one when you were bald." He said no. And I said until you've tried it don't give me any advice.
0 -
I am brand new to the chat rooms but I have enjoyed reading your comments on here. I have just begun my radiation after 4 treatments of some horrid chemo. I lost my hair on the 18th day after starting chemo. I swore then I would never wear a wig. I don't think there's anything wrong with them but I decided that this was part of my journey. Besides I love hats but hate hat hair. No worries now! So far most people have been fairly decent when asking me about my txs or something. But for some reason, every single person I even slightly know, thinks that when I don't have a hat on then my head is free reign and they need to rub my head! Am I supposed to be a good luck charm or something??
0 -
Rub their's back!!!! Bet they won't do it again!!! Tami
0 -
Good idea! Thanks!
0 -
It's amazing how incredibly stupid and insensitive people can be! Here's a couple I've heard during my journey this time around.
"I envy you," said by a close friend who also happens to be quite small on top when I told her I'd be having a reconstruction after my mx!! My reply: "Envy me, really?! You should thank God every day that you're NOT me!!" She did apologize afterwards for her insensitive remark and we are still friends, in fact, she's one of the only one of my "friends" who didn't disappear after saying the obligatory, "if there's anything I can do for you, just call." I love the people (friends and family) who say that and then poof, they're gone like the wind, never to be heard from again!
"When God wants you, He wants you," said by an acquaintance's husband to me after asking me how I was feeling and telling me how great I looked!! WTF?! He then went on to explain how his MIL was one of the lucky ones who'd undergone tx for some type of cancer and had good drs, etc. So what makes him think I can't be one of the lucky ones?
Sheesh, some people!
0 -
"It's going to get worse, you know." Said by the clerk at the pharmacy when I went to pick up my nausea meds prior to my second round of chemo. OH GOODIE, I JUST CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!
Nancy
0 -
Nancy, a cyber kick in the pants to that thoughtless person
0 -
My Mom asked me if I felt empty after I lost my hair
Left me feeling great.....0 -
Thanks kmmd! Empty?!!! Jeesh! Sorry Jaimieh!
Nancy
0 -
One of my clients actually asked if I cried when I shaved my hair.......uh, what do you think!!?????
0 -
Well I went to an awards ceremony Tuesday (My daughter was inducted into the International Thespian Society) ....and I ran into one of the mothers I hadn't seen or heard from in over a year.....She looked me square in the eye and asked "Are you feeling okay?".....I said "Yea, I feel great!"....And she was like, "No, I mean, How do you REALLY feel?......And I reapeated myself.... "I feel REALLY great!"....And she says "Well, if that's how you feel."...and I'm like WTF???......And yes she had that pity you look in her eye!....OH PLEASE!.......
0 -
Holly, you probably disappointed her. Some need to live off of other's drama. (Personally I hate drama--the last 6 months could last me a lifetime.) She probably wanted a juicy bit of drama and angst to go home and get on the phone and talk about. It's why I kept my news so very quiet at work, I work with many that are just like her and I didn't want to be part of that grapevine.
0 -
Hi everyone!
Someone on another threadused a great phrase which might make you laugh a lot too :
"one step away from a turnip"...
love and kisses -
0 -
Can I steal that line?
0 -
Very good response. I always get the sing songey "How are youoooooooo?" irrrrrr....
0 -
Does anyone else have someone who brings up who died everytime you talk to them ?? I do and it can be someone that I have no clue who they were but I know they are gone.
0 -
Yes, I don't understand why people have to tell you their "Great Aunt so and so" found out she had breast cancer and was dead 3 months later"- like that is reassuring???? One step away from a turnip! Tami
0 -
kmmd, you are probably so right...Some people need gossip to feed off just to get by.......Sheesh!......
Idaho, I got so many of those stories when my sister was diagnosed I thought I had heard them all, Then I got diagnosed....Nope hadn't heard all of them yet apparently...SOmeone came up with more!..LOL......Yep one step away from a turnip!.....
0 -
ccbaby, you should have said Why NO! I didn't shed one single tear!...I had a big huge party!..Too bad you missed it!......
0 -
Hi Friends I went to the cancer dr and saw the dr assistant. She says I have breast cancer
stage 2 on right side, I have IDC stage 3 left side. Iron and blood count was very low, She told me I looked very depressed, I'm very tired cause of count. Where do Dr go to school?
0 -
Here's one for the books. When meeting my surgeon to find out the pathology reports from my lumpectomy, he walked in the room and said "Well, the good news is its just plain old breast cancer". I kid you not.
Rinna
0 -
Actually, what bothers me more is when ppl come to me and say...My friend/relative/whoever is a 10/15/20 year survivor, and if they can do it, you can. I know they are trying to be nice and encouraging, but I just want to ask them. well, what kind of breast cancer did they have, what kind of surgery, and how many lymph nodes involved, what kind of receptors, what stage and grade and so on. People just don't know or understand that there is SO MUCH more to it then just having breast cancer.
0
