TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS
Comments
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I'm not sure whether I should bring this up or not, it's embarassing and in the category of too much information.
Dear friend, you are in the circle- this is the place to talk about this kind of stuff. That is what we are here for- to listen, to lean on and to let it all out.Quote:
I had this big talk with my husband today. He told me he's not attracted to me anymore. I guess I knew it. It sure explains a lot. I'm just sitting at my computer here crying.
Oh Susan, what is wrong with this man? Where is his heart? How can a man, who witnessed all that you have endured ever utter those words to you? Does he not see all that you have become?? The magnificent creature who fought the worst enemy we face and won and still is there for him, still has her spirit, stronger and more beautiful than ever, and who has been given the gift of seeing life in a whole new light and part of that light was shining on him? How blind and how shallow is this man?Quote:
I don't know what to do.
YOU don't have to do anything. The problem lies within HIM. NOT you.Quote:
We talked about a lot of things. It's not good here and from my perspective he wants me to be the one to change everything -be exactly what he wants me to be so he'll find me attractive again. I feel defeated before I ever start. I'm overweight and my hair is thin and all my joints hurt. It's hard to be sexy.
Isn't that convenient? He wants YOU to be the person to make the changes necessary to satisy him. Tell me Susan, what has he done for YOU lately?? Has he shown you how proud he is of you? Has he shown gratitude that you went through this and still managed to take care of the house and him? Has he been tender and considerate and above all, patient? Gaining weight and thinning hair is after effects of this. It isn't forever. You know that. Maybe it is because of HIM that you don't feel sexy. Tell me? Has he gained any weight and his hair thinning? Is this a punishible offense to you? No. You love him for who he his - not the wrapper he came in. But if this is WHO he is-- how could you love someone like this?Quote:
I can't leave, I don't have a job and I don't have health insurance.
A job can always be obtained. And a good lawyer will get you support, keep you on his health insurance plan, and if you want it, you can start a new life. But only if you are at that point now. Just remember, when a door closes a window opens. And there are always ways out and ways to make it in this world. Personally I think any man who would say such a thing to a breast cancer survivor is bordering on abuse.
I love you Susan. I just want to put my arms around you and hug you and protect you from any more slings and arrows he may hurl at you.
You have us. We have all sorts of resourceful women here who can help you in any stage of decision making. But I want to stress this to you so clearly- are you listening??
What he said? Those horrible things? They in no way reflect YOU or how you look. They reflect a dark heart in a man who you loved and trusted and who once said he loved and desired you and would be by your side through thick and thin.
Ask yourself this: If situations were reversed- would you EVER say that to him if he had just undergone the rigors of cancery treatment? NO you wouldn't. And WHY? Because you have a good heart and you feel things deeply and you would never hurt anyone, especially someone you love. So if you would never do it to him, what makes him think he has the right to do it to you?
Stay away from him for a few days. And if you decide to forgive him then that is your choice. Just do not ever forget what he said to you. Because this was a glimpse into his soul. Don't forget it. Knowledge is power and you now need to deal with him from a position of strength. KNOWING how he really feels and how cruel he is makes you stronger.
Start a little checking or savings account at a different bank. Start putting a little money away. Use a PO box if you must to have the bank statements go there. Pray for peace but prepare for war. It may not come to that, but now that you have seen the cards he is holding, be armed.
You are one of my sweetest friends. I am sending you a big hug and lots of prayers... and a baseball bat just in case. OK?
Love you,
g0 -
Well put, NS!
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Thank you Cheryl! Be careful with all that driving!
Christine, I found out from my friend who owns a nursery that they cut all the trees and garland on the same date. So no matter when we buy it - it will either last or turn brown! I am a little worried about how much I can put outside my fence because this is my first Christmas here, and someone stole my pumpkin at halloween. Hopefully they will leave Christmas stuff alone!
Cheryl, I love the idea of saving the cards. I will do it this year! I have snapdragons and morning glories return every year. Just by letting the seeds fall and not raking up the beds. They are insulated by all the leaves and somehow bloom again the next spring!
Nicki, I liked your advice to Vickie. As a fellow breast cancer survivor she should tell this woman how horrible her comment made her feel, even though I think it was the green eyed monster talking. My cat DOES demand attention- all 26 pounds of him! And none of it is fat. He is a Maine Coon and that is his Normal Size! Give the Ikea a try. There are some REALLY pretty things for not a lot of money!
Madison? 78 degrees?? Where do you live?? And YES cats always know the one who DOESN'T like them. It is their official duty to torment that person!! I am sorry about the divorce. I know another couple who told their families this Thanksgiving that they were getting a divorce as well. This was messy though and not done with much tact. It is so good that you are able to be with her husband's family and talk things out. So sad though-- I think even more sad when families are all getting along and not at each other's throats.
Tracey I hope you get all the tests you need done without too much aggravation. About the panic attacks... sometimes worrying about getting another one can bring one on! I have found that you can talk yourself through one... like an air traffic countroller trying to help some poor person land a plane after the pilot keels over. Talk yourself through the stages as you are going through them. Sort of like, "ok, I feel one coming on. I am getting the tightness in my chest. Now I am feeling my heart pound. Ok- I am half way through it, going to make it till it passes.... etc." If you talk about what you are feeling WHEN you are feeling it and keep reminding yourself that it won't last forever, even though it FEELS like it will (like chemo!) it makes you gain the control back and it dimishes the power it has over you. Try it if you remember. I know it has helped me.
Oh MB- I have no idea what the international postage is. I know that if you send a package to Canada it takes forever because it has to go through customs!
Liz cats ALWAYS know don't they?? I hope everyting went ok at the dentist. Your poor dog! We always call those collars megaphones. Once had a vet tell us that my cat from years ago was "sensitive about the collar" and that my sister and I "shouldn't laugh at her when she wears it"!
Oh Betty! I hope you don't get sick of Christmas Music by the time the holidays come! I know when I had my business I would start the day after Thanksgiving with the music and by the time Christmas came I wanted to hear anything BUT!
Amy- may your Christmas present this year be a clear scan! I hate when they make you get into all those positions... it sends your imagination reeling about what they are looking at. Usually it is nothing. I had a brother who was allergic to cats when we were growing up. We had to give it away. To this day, I still think we should have given my brother away instead!!
Vickie, MY sedums and one AZALEA is in bloom right now! The sedum had died back and now it is starting over again. My cat used to be called "devil cat" because he was an abandonded and abused stray and everyone was afraid of him... so he is a spoiled mush who likes to be called "Handsome."
Vera! SO happy to see you!!! Whatever tent you decide to hang out in I will join you!
And Peggy? Can we "borrow" your big screen tv for one of the tents? Bring your DW! She would love us!!! So glad to see your smiling face again.
Lini, how nice you are being invited to all those places! I like to give something that is food/drink/decorative related. Like a pretty basket filled with some jams and a scone mix or crackers and some of those jarred dips like from Bella Cucina or Stonewall Kitchen. Both of those companies have beautiful products. If you bring wine, they have beautiful wine wrappers at Pier One and Pottery Barn so they look extra pretty.
Reporting for duty after some hot chocolate!0 -
well NS........what you said to susan is knocking around in my messed up head like a giant wake up call!
susan......i'm sorry for how i put it to you.....NS said it so much better........i should not have responded at all since i'm dealing with my own marital issues!
i have actually printed out NS's post as it speaks to me in ways that nothing or no one has in years......i hopee it does the same for you susan!
i love you too........we all do!
shel0 -
Shel, You responded the way you felt. You have been through so much. No one can blame you for that! I sure wouldn't. NS makes some very valid points and they are good for those of us who are doubting ourselves even if the SO hasn't said anything of the sort but we just feel like we aren't looking our best anymore.
I know I've put on over 100 lounds since I met my hubby. (it's all his fault, he cooks great meals, fattening meals, he cleans he does laundry and he even does windows)
But seriously. I know I'm over weight and I don't look as good as I did even a year ago , although I weigh less than I did a year a go, But It's howe we feel about orselves that really makes the difference. If you feel you are sexy then you'l start coming off as sexy.
So NS, I'm going to start feeling better about myself. I'm gonig to get that spark back. Heck I may even start wearing makeup again, (I haven't done that in years). I'm going to put a spring back into my step!
Thanks to you ladies I know I can do it and so can all of you!
Love you ladies and I love myself0 -
Susan, I am so sorry. We lose so much with BC, then to face this. It is so not fair.
Janis0 -
Good Morning Everyone: The last day of warm weather here in the Chicago end of the circle. Snow mixed with icy rain tomorrow and snow all day Friday. And to think I sold my jeep in September! Hope the Altima likes snow.
So let me see, how many ways did I cheat on my diet last night? Hmmmm I had 2 kitkats and a box of snow aps. That wake up hungry is gonna get me every time.
Coffee is on. Have a special Christmas blend = Hazelnut with Cinnamon. And yes, the scent of cinnamon is making Distorted Humor and Mazer the Tazer hungry. But they do not and I repeat do not drink coffee. They are too high strung to begin with. Also have some regular coffee, tea and hot chocolate brewing. So come on down to the circle, seems like alot of us just need to talk.
Susan: I felt very sad when I read your post. Sad that you are going through this. Im just wondering, what precipitted "the talk.?" If you dont mind me asking. A few months back - probably 6 months or so - My husband and I had a similiar talk. He had enough beer in him to be as honest as all get out. I always believed the "A drinker makes a fool out of many and a liar out of none." I was so hurt by the things he said to me, I swore I would never forget his words. Today? I cant remember what I swore I would never forget. I think he did say he wanted a divorce cause he didnt love me anymore. In my situation, I was lucky. He apologized the next day. He had some unsolved issues related to the whole bc experience. So I'm hoping today he will wake up and realize what he said. This whole getting old thing - is getting old! The nursing home I work for is in a prominent suburb of Chicago where many people are - well lets say wealthy. I see 80 year olds who have had face lifts and such all the time. And they look weird. I cant explain what Im trying to say. Being beautiful has nothing to do with outward appearances. Dont let him smell any desperation on you. Im hoping this morning things are better. Til then you keep coming here to the circle. We are here for you day and night.
Cheryl: Look at it this way. Your step children are lucky. They get presents from 2 moms. A small, inexpensive - sentimental present can mean so much. Guilty feelings are not allowed!
Peggy: It was sooooo good to hear from you. Sounds like you are a busy little beaver. How dare work, DW, friends, and enjoying life get in the way of computer time?
. Now if you didnt live in Candada there would be many of us coming to watch football at your house with the new television. We would just invite ourselves and bring a dish or two. I cant believe Im whining about 32 degrees, rain, ice, and snow. If the temperature was that cold here - then I would have something to whine about.
Vera: It was good to hear from you also. I really believe this time of year affects us physically and emotionally. The cold weather, the gloominess, the stress of the Holidays. So hang in there girl. And please dont stay away when you need us most.
NS: Cats are funny creatures. My female cat has an eye infection. I went to go get her to flush her eye out and it was like a kangaroo boxing me. And she won!! She a fat critter, but is strong and can run very quickly when she wants to. My husband saw her boxing me and he cracked up laughing. Said he could hear her paws bopping me! So once she stops hiding, this will be a 2 person job. Like it or not, she is gonna get that eye flushed!
Lini: Im sure you were invited to the parties cause you are such a fun loving person. So enjoy. Candles are a great idea - an inexpensive too. I usually bring a bottle of wine, box of candy, or candles. They have some really cute ones at Kohls and they are 60% off. Bought a bunch myself yesterday.
Shel: What we say here is from our hearts. Sometimes I think it is easier listening to someone who is going through a similiar situation - as yours. Cause you really do understand, where others are trying to understand. So take a deep breath and look for the spunky Shel we all know.
Someone mentioned their snap dragons and them coming back the next year. I cant believe it, but my snap dragons are still blooming and green. So dont pull them out right? I would love them to come back next year. They were so pretty this past summer.
Ya know, I just recently started feeling good about myself again. Im wearing makeup and got some new clothing. Instead of wearing my "big mama" outfits, Im starting to get stylish again. It only took 1 1/2 years! For the first time I wore a pretty blue sweater yesterday. It actually highlighted my "former boobs." Anyways, I felt pretty for the first time in months. So I think everyone today should go out and buy something nice for themselves! Its called retail therapy
Janis: Im so glad you stopped by the circle. We sure do have a great group of women here. Helping each other. Thats what we do - through thick and thin.
Anyways! Its time to go. Shower and work is calling me. I have found recently Im spending alot more time trying to style my hair now, that I did when it was long!! And each days its a new surprise as to what I will look like.
I think we all need to sit in a circle around the campfire, arms around each other. Think I would like to sing the song "side by side." Be well today everyone. See ya all later.
Nicki0 -
Oh dear Susan...I am so sorry. I wish I knew what to say but Shel and NS have probably said it best. I know what your going through...I spent 20 years with a verbally, mentally, physcially abusive and IMO the mental and verbal abuse was worse than the phyical...you know the saying...sticks and stones can break my bones but words can break my heart. Would counseling help or is this something that maybe deep in your heart you are ok with too. Jobs will come...there are so many support service that you can use and a lawyer if a divorce or separation is what you decide. Just wish I could come give you a hug...stick with us...we'll keep you together.
Lini...I agree with Nicki...who wouldn't invite you to a party!!!
Peggy...what a sweet surprise to see your post and I agree...share that tv...we'll set up a special movie wagon or tent to go with all our other "tents"...we have quite a village started here...sunshine tents, pissy tents, blue tent, action tent (that I haven't found yet) a barn for all our pets.
Missing many this morning but have a desk full of work that needs to be done by the end of the day...if one more piece of paper gets put on my desk they'll have to call search and rescue to find me...I'll send up smoke signals.
Hugs all
Vickie0 -
Side By Side
Well we ain't got a barrel of money...
We may look ragged and funny...
But we're travelin' on...
Singing our song...
Side by side.
Through all kinds of weather...
What if the sky should fall?
As long as we're together,
It doesn't matter at all.
So we ain't got a barrel of money...
We may look ragged and funny...
But we're travelin' on...
Singing our song...
Side by side.
Through all kinds of weather...
Drought, flood, rain and snow,
We will be together...
So it just don't matter at all...
Oh we ain't got a barrel of money...
We may look ragged and funny...
But we're travelin' on...
Singing our song...
Side by side.
Don't know what's comin' tomorrow...
maybe it's trouble and sorrow...
but we'll travel the road...
sharin' our load...
side by side.
Oh we ain't got a barrel of money...
We may look ragged and funny...
But we're travelin' on...
Singing our song...
Side by side.
When they've all had their quarrels and parted...
we'll be the same as we started...
just travlin' along singin' a song...
side by side.0 -
Susan, sweet Susan - My heart aches for you. This place is so full of warm and understanding women, but nobody has told you to do what I am going to tell you to do. Spend some $$$. Use the card if you have to. Go get a mani, pedi, your hair done. How 'bout a massage? Buy yourself a new piece of jewelry and some new shoes. I know that you're hurting both physically and emotionally, but this works for me when I'm down. A little "pick me up" at least for a while.
You are the sweetest, kindest lady and you deserve a day of pampering. "Queen for a Day" that's what you need. Oh and you know men, he won't even notice until the bills come in. Geez, they can be morons!!
lini0 -
Good day Dear friends...
Susan so sorry, remember this has not changed the person you are, just the way you look...(me I'm now lopsided) but I'm the same person I was before BC ...so take time to refind yourself...may I suggest some tai chi...very self improving...and get a pedometer....walking (10,000) will lift your spirits and help health wise....lol...oh yeah I'm the exercise slave master...good luck and remember we understand ...vent away...
Liz...omg I loved the card...you rock....woke my DH up as he was napping and made him read it...PS I wear my pedometer from the time I wake up til bedtime, even when doing kung fu & Karate...lol...love the little clicking noise it makes...
Vickie hey we live close enough I 'll meet you 1/2 way and teach you some cool stuff...and maybe have the knitty tit ready...lol
Nicki...you are a gem anyone would be honored to be with you....the new me...well let's see if I can explain...
OLD ME...3 jobs, didn't c0ok, hated my house...sometimes my DH & kids too
NEW ME...1 job...love to fix meals for the fam...tai chi, karate, kung fu...for me...and most of the time I kiss DH every morning before getting out of bed and before I close my eyes every night...as for the kids...well that still comes & goes...lol
NS ypu are such a wonderful "speaker" thanks for sharing ....
NOw for the " its my life and welcome to it" just got a call from my GYN,,,,pap showed irregular cells...great...what elese can go wrong...so back to the drawing board...but I'll talk to Dr Thursday...
Well boss is back and I'll stop by later...
MB0 -
Susan, I've seen some of the pictures that you've posted and he must be blind!!! Very beautiful.
Do you think he's scared now that you don't need him as much anymore with getting better?
Sometimes we all get caught up in our compfort zone and feel like life is passing us by. Stay your course and hopefully it will blow over, but always just keep alittle of it in the back of your mind. I hope this makes some sense, I've just been very blue lately and trying to cheer up. xoxo0 -
OK boss is gone....by the way Im fine bout the Dr so onto more important things...all my friends...
ALLL IN THE PISSY TENT....out...the sun is out and we are going for a scavenger hunt....things on the list......a hug from a stranger...a kiss froma sweet little friend... about 2 or 3 yrs old.. they are the best... a letter from a friend....a chocolate chip cookie..we are gettting hungry hunting...a new fragrence and color of lip stick...go on try bright red.....a holiday bow for your, hat or hair..or head however it may be at this time...
NOW put all these together and smile...
sending you all my love and warm thoughts...and hoping to close the pissy tent for a while....
MB...oh yeah how are you coming on those 10,000 steps...lol0 -
MB...a scavenger hunt huh...ok, this could be fun.
I'll come out of the pissy tent and drag everyone with me and I know just where to find a chocolate chip cookie. Hug a stranger...hmmm...
it would be easier to find someone strange to hug around here LOL.0 -
I am so very tired of people without compassion...people who don't realize the power of words.
Susan, I am so furious at your husband. I can only hope that you understand that this is your husband's issue, not yours! You are a beautiful woman! IMO beauty is neither in the shape of our bodies, nor the smoothness of our skin...it doesn't lie in the fullness of our hair or the softness of our hands...beauty is within us, it's in the strength of our character and integrity. It's how we rise up to challenges, some much greater than any man has ever had to face. Beauty is the soft caress of a hand roughened by hard work; it's in the kindness to those less fortunate. Beauty is in all of us, and it's not something that you can buy, rent, steal or own.
I'm sorry for the rant, but I am appalled that ANYONE would say something so cruel.
This strikes a chord in my heart and I thought I would share...
THE GODDESS' CHANT
I am all women, I am every woman.
Wherever women are suffering,
I am there.
Wherever woman are struggling,
I am there.
Wherever woman are fighting for their liberation,
I am there.
I am at the bedside of the woman giving birth,
screaming in labor;
I am with the women selling their bodies
in third world countries so
that her children may eat;
I am with the woman selling her
body in the streets of American cities
to feed the habit she acquired
from her boyfriend.
I am with the woman who never sees
the light outside her kitchen;
I am with the woman who never sees
the light outside her factory;
I am with the woman whose fingers
are still from endless typing and
whose legs ache from the high heels
she must wear to please her boss.
I am with the woman bleeding to death
on the kitchen table
of a quack abortionist;
I am with the woman answering
endless questions of
the inquisitive caseworkers;
and I am with the caseworkers,
whose dreams of making a new
social order have long been smothered
in the endless bureaucracy,
the endless forms, the racism of their superiors.
I am with the beauty queen
painting her face and spraying
her hair with poison;
I am with the black prostitute
straightening her hair
and lightening her skin;
I am with the young child
for whom an apron is the only thing
she has been taught to dream of;
I am at the hospital where a
beaten child is being treated for wounds
caused by a mother driven
by desperation past sanity,
past compassion;
I am with the fourty-five-year-old file clerk,
raped and strangled in her one-room walkup.
I am with all women; I am all women,
and our struggle grows
I am with the welfare mothers
who will not be turned away
by the indifferent legislators;
I am with the airline stewardesses
fighting to retain their jobs
after they reach thirty
and their market value has decreased;
I am with the sistah hexing Wall Street
and the bridal fairs and the beauty contests;
I am with women struggling everywhere.
And where there are women too beaten down to fight,
I will be there;
and we will take strength together.
Everywhere: for we will have a new world,
a just world, a world without
oppression and degradation.
The Goddess' Chant from Everywoman
Past, Present, and Future0 -
NS - You have the best way with words! Are you a writer? An artist? You should be, you are very eloquent and your words always ring clearly of truth!
Susan - Still thinking of you and worried for you. Hope the outpouring of support from the CGs helps in some small way. It's so true, it is your husband's issue, not yours. Shows weakness on his part, not yours. Could it be fear? Could it be stress? Is this typical behavior for him, or really unusual and out of the ordinary? Regardless, it was immature, selfish and cruel. But can/should it be forgiven, and can/should you work with him to find a place that you both feel comfortable and happy? That's the question, and it seems like the answer will be found, in part, by whether or not this was a moment of fear/weakness on his part, or a life-long character flaw. Only you (and he) can answer that question. In my opinion, our partners should thank the lord each day that they have us in their lives. I guess I feel that way because I feel like I'm thankful that I am still here at all! Sorry, don't mean to go on and on...
I also woke up this morning saying to myself, "enough!" So, it's out of the pissy tent, and off to the catering tent for me. I've been working (at my actual job!) all morning, so I think I'll make us a lovely afternoon tea... All sorts of teas, and champagne too, in really pretty champagne glasses. Tiny little fancy sandwiches, just for so, and lots and lots of cakes and cookies. Cookies from the Scotch bakery near my grandma's house - empire biscuits, eiffle towers, and the other ones that I can't remember the names of... Oreo cookies dipped in chocolate, mint oreos, and Mallowmars too... All fresh from the oven, with friends to sit next to, to chat or just sit quietly, while warming our hands and toes at a roaring fire. Everyone, come on in!0 -
Colleen...thank you for the tea...Mallowmars..yummm havent thought of those in years...
Ok while everyone in the pissy tent is on their scavenger hunt...and a strange hug is ok too... I will redecorate..beautiful lights , candles , music and beautiful table decorations...I'm renaming it the holiday tent...celebrations only...the traditional holidyas of course...but end of chemo parties, finished rads parties ...etc etc etc..thankyou for brightening up my day i really did need it today...hugs...
hummm holiday tent ...can we invite some of the hot pool boys? we will start a new holiday...hot man day...the first M-F of every week...lol..we will need Sat & sun to rest...
MB0 -
Peggy...all I can say is "Wow"...that's a pretty powerful chant.
Just what is needed here for all I think.
Hugs
Vickie0 -
Pool boys
Gee...can they be part of the scavenger hunt...and I'm still waiting for a map of the action tent.
I think we need to find one of these boys to go visit Susan...see what dear hubby would think of that!0 -
Hi Everyone,
Susan, I am out of the blues tent for you my dear. I am so sorry and hope that all of your friends here have helped you. You are a wonderful person. The problem, I think, is with his thinking. I agree with what some of these wonderful people have said, MEN JUST DONT GET IT!!!!. This is the place to be, within the circle, with all of us who love you!!!!!!
Betty, how are you after the dental work? Hopefully, much, much better. I heard a commercial on the radio this morning for a dentist that gives you meds to relax you while they do the dental work. The commercial said that most people are afraid of the dentist. I cant help it, I am not afraid of the dentist, I am afraid of his dental bill (lol).
PurpleMB, how was the cooking frenzy (better still, how was the eating frenzy). Let us know when you talk to you GYN.
Peggy, I cant even imagine 14 degrees!!! I have 2 fans blowing on me at my desk as I type. It hit 80 degrees yesterday. I did hear that you are sending some cold weather our way. Hopefully this weekend we will be in the 30 degree range. You are going to have empty nest syndrome??? Your youngest is moving on? Wow, I hit that mark on January 2 of this year. It will seem a bit odd for a short while.
Cheryl, be careful if you venture out on the roads. My goodness, people have problems driving in the rain in this state the only time it snowed measurable (about 30 yrs ago), they shut everything down. Whatever you give your stepchildren will come from you heart and be the perfect gift. The fact that you care touches my heart and I know it will mean so very much to them. (Oh, putting on make-up is like riding a bike, you dont forget how!)
Amy, please let us know when you find the result of your scans. We know everything will be okay. This circle is powerful and all our good thoughts are going your way.
Lini, have fun at the parties you are going to attend. If the party is at an individual home, we will bring a good bottle of wine (or two). I went to a very formal (tails for the hubby) event this weekend. It was the first time I had dressed up in a year. It took me forever to remember how to dress! We didnt make any Mardi Gras balls in 2006. Post Katrina and Rita were very sad times. I hope to make the 2007 Mardi Gras balls!!!
Colleen, glad you are out of the pissy tent. I might try that tent soon. Do you have more fun in that tent than in the blues tent.
I am at work, on my lunch hour, but alas, I need to clock back in and resume working.
See all of you later.0 -
Hello to all the beautiful CG's
You know I read your post Susan and my heart is breaking for you and I am so angry for you . I have never layed eyes
on you Susan , only know you through your words so I have come to care about you because of who you are , Which is a kind gentle spirit , Your husband is one to be pitied because he chooses not to see what we see How very beautiful you are.
shel I felt your post was wonderful ,please don't be sorry for it ! p.s. stuck in a traffic jam with a cutie best way to be stuck in trafic jam!
NS as always your words touching and full of wisdom , and
Fuffy and Dad bonding so funny !
Jeannie sending you prayers for the best results as you go through your scans today can you feel us holding your hand.
Debbie sending prayers for your son and for you .
Deb I am so happy for you that you are going to Hawaii
Aloha sweetie !!
Vickie I agree she is jelous ,my sister looked good after treatment, she really did, short hair lost alot of weight
cute as a button !!
Amy I am thinking of you hugs and prayers for your test sweetie !
KRISTIN YOU DID IT !! I am doing a big ole happy dance for your last A/C !!! baby steps sweetie you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel !!!
Tracey anxiety attack ugghhh ! I really had those when bad when Denise was dx'd, I am sorry you are having them ,I went on Lexapro no more now . hugs to you .
Liz I got your card so pretty thank you ! I am still smiling ,it is so fun to find a card or letter in the pile of bills and junk mail it made my day!!! I will be giving the cards to Denise to brighten her day too !! This way you all only have to send one card and make us both smile!!
ewwww the denist , I hate the dentist okay not the dentist
but just going LOL . I am saying a prayer for your furbaby
God cares about them also.
Madison my nephew asked his wife for a divorce it broke our hearts we love her very much.
Vickie I take Lexapro have been on it a little over a year
it uspet my tummy at first, then went away I haven't had too many side effects except it makes me sleppy so I take it at night.
Sige I am so glad you are busy with life and in good health
music to my ears what your Dr. said to you . I always love hearing from you big hugs to you and DW !! I loved the chant too.
We are piling on the drama here Denise goes for her surgery the 12th of December ,and I ahve another stupid lump ! I go the 5th for the diagnostic and the 11th to see the surgeon .I wanted to wait until deese was done with her surgery ,but I chickened out and went to the Dr. he is sending me for an breast MRI too . SO if it is okay with you all going to the pissy tent as this is on my last nerve doing this again ,and such bad timing (as if there is a good time to find a stupid lump ) A good stiff drink sounds right about now,maybe I will visit the drinking thread lol ! ((((Mena)))))))
hugs,
Carrie0 -
Vickie...wow you have such nice pic of some really hot men...whooo hooo....guess you could get a hug from each of them...? Glad I'm not busy at work today...lol...
MB0 -
MB..I am so swamped at work today and here I am again...I have just reached a point where I don't know what to do next!!! I am so totally chemo brained that I almost asked you AGAIN where you live...but I remembered!!! Can you believe they trust me to do payroll here!!!
Hey Madison and Carrie...can't use the pissy tent anymore MB went and kicked us out and redecorated it...it's now the holiday tent with lights, candles etc. How do you like that...she makes us walk 10 billion steps a day then takes away our pissy tent!!! LOL...just teasing MB...we just have to make sure you keep the "pool boys" close to the new holiday tent! We are going to hide the blue tent though!!
Thanks Carrie and hugs to you.
REALLY NEED TO GET SOME WORK DONE!!!
Hugs all around
Vickie0 -
SUSAN!!!
What the hell? is he blind? You are a wonderful woman, what a bastard, oops, sorry but how cruel can someone be to a wife that has gone through HELL and back and come out the other side only to hear what we all fear in our heads. Damn it! that makes me so mad I want to spit
How effin shallow.
NS you said it so much more eloquently than I ever could. I think I would bash my husband's head in with a cast iron frying pan, he would learn to sleep with one eye open.
Boy, I hate to hear these things.
I hope today was a better day.
love Tina0 -
Good afternoon wagon circle girls,
Can we all join together and sing and dance,,well I wont sing or you all might throw something at me but No NEW LESIONS!!!! The scans looked good and the mets on my pelvic and femur have made changes where the bone is trying to cover up the lesions so it looks like a halo effect which is great but the best part is nothing on my ribs!!!! Talk about a sigh of relief. I just got the call and sent an email to my DW or SO however you want to call it because she teaches and cant get calls but she emailed quickly back that she was dancing and all smiles. I called my sisters and told them and tried to get my mom and dad but no such luck. They have traveled to Gatlinburg, TN and are off walking all over dollywood today. I bet my dad is all eyes looking for Dolly or at least parts of her,,lol. I will keep trying them because my mother tends to worry about everything even though she likes to act like she has it all together. I am the baby of the family and I guess she thinks I cant take care of myself without her worrying.
O.k. lets see now. I didnt take notes because i was too busy trying to chant my good news.
Peggy great to see you around. Super Bowl party at your house with the new TV, is that what I heard? Wow you guys are having some cold weather. Makes for some good snuggle time and a few movies. HDTV is the best for sports. It seems as if you are on the sidelines. I am sure it is great for movies also but my TV hardly ever gets put on anything but sports. I love sports. Speaking of sports UCONN basketball is on ESPN tomorrow.
NewVickie-Glad to know I am not the only one with my desk piled high yet I sign on here to tell my good news and check on everyone.
purplemd aka exercise slave master-Geesh first you makes us walk walk and walk and now you take away the pissy tent. Geesh woman, you are tough. Just kidding,,the new decorations look great!
CSP-Please let your sister know we will all be thinking of her and you also with the new lump. I swear its always something isnt it?
Lini-have fun at the parties and a bottle of wine is always nice and someone mentioned candles which is also nice. A nice gift basket is a good idea. Have fun and enjoy.
NS-wow what a way with words you have! Your post are always out of this world. If you arent a writer you might want to pick that up in your "spare" time. Since we all have so much of that.
Liz-I got the card and thanks! It was especially nice to receive. Made me also realize I need to get mine going.
susan-MEN,,,cant live with them,,cant shoot them. My thoughts are with you. Dont ever feel like you cant come to the circle and vent. We love you and are here for you.
Please let us know if we can do anything to help you. Mazer has some nice uhhh monkey bread for him if he would like????
Nicki-Thanks for the nice smelling coffee this morning. Mazer was all excited at the smells. I gave her and distored humor a ginger snap and they were happy. What do you mean my precious little baby donkey isnt innocent?
Congrats Kristin for completing AC!
Cheryl-Please drive carefully if you head out. We cant drive around here in the rain much less the snow.
Shel-nice to see you smiling again.
O.k. I always leave people out because I dont take notes. Please dont hold it against me because I think of all of you.
bye for now. Love, Amy0 -
Yeah and congratulations AMY!!! I told you we wouldn't allow any bad news here!!!! Dancing and smiling for you here too.
A gazillion things to get done here tonight so I'll check in later...I should get my 10,000 steps in just getting my house picked up and laundry done!
Hugs
Vickie0 -
I just wrote a gazillion line post and yup, it disappeared. so here is the reader's digest version:
I love you all so much. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.
NS you are my hero. Shel, your post is just fine. I was thinking of you as I was writing last night. Amy, jumping for joy on test results. Kristin congrats on being done with AC. Newvickie, I'm seeing a counselor. Good thing, cause I don't know which end is up right now. Lini, you are the party girl. hostess gift, little dangley charms for glasses at a party.
Amy what is monkey bread?? If it's nasty and awful, I'd love to give him some.
Cy, ask your DH for advice on what to get the stepkids then you will get to hear what he is thinking.
My husband is selfish, not all bad but is it worth hanging in there? I just don't know. I will figure it out. It's sad he can't see what he's doing.
xo
susan0 -
Hi girls,
Its very very very very very (lol) cold here in Northern Oklahoma. Theyre calling for 8 12 of snow on top of ¼ ice. I know thats not a lot to you lovely ladies who live up north but I hate the cold! Im snuggling in tonight and tomorrow. Hopefully, I wont have to get out.
Peggy, nice to see you! I got a 32 HDTV about a month ago. I love it! Enjoy. The picture is so much better on it.
Susan my dear. Such hurtful things to have been said to you. I cant add anymore than what the other girls have but know that you are a kind, beautiful and loving lady. Let us know what we can do to help you out. Im only about 6 hours away from you if I can help. Please keep coming here. Big hugs.
Cheryl, CY anything you give to you step-children is a sign of caring and love. Im speaking as a step-child. The act of giving something is truly special.
NS, wonderful words of advice. The dentist went okay. He is such a sweet guy who doesnt like inflicting pain. I have a temporary crown now and will get the permanent one in 2 weeks. Hopefully, that will be the end of the dental work for awhile now. Funny about the vet saying that about the collar. Our groomer told me once that my dog would lie around because he was bashful after having his hair cut off for summer.
Tracey, apparently I have anxiety attacks. Awhile back I just knew I had lung mets. I couldnt take a deep breath and the more I thought about it the worst it got. Now I try to relax when I feel one coming on. If I cant, I have my trusty friend Ativan. Hugs to you.
Vera, so good to see you! I love your Avatar. Your card came back to me for some reason. It didnt have anything on it but the envelope had been torn. I put another one in the mail today for you.
Nicki, my friend drives an Altima and she says its great in nasty weather. Drive safe. I was doing great on the diet but just had to have some white chocolate covered pretzels! I was hungry when I went to the store. I hate when I do that. Now its so cold and icky out I wont be doing my normal walking either. Ill have to walk around the house and garage I guess. I have three days free (wooohoooo) from any appointments so think I will seriously start planning Christmas. I have no idea what to buy this year. It wont be much as my husbands side has decided we wont do presents for adults just the kids. Ive got those already. Then its just my mom, son and husband. Theyre hard to buy for! Oh well. Ill figure something out. Oh I love retail therapy!
Lini, I do hope you enjoy your parties. Im sure youll have a great time and everyone will enjoy your company.
MB, I need to wear my pedometer all the time. Making a mental note to myself. Yeah right, I cant remember anything anymore. Keep reminding me how good exercise is for me. Glad you liked the card. I bought several different ones. Okay, lets talk abnormal cells. I had a hysterectomy 13 years ago. Still had the tubes and ovaries. My routine pap came back in May as high-grade dysplasia. I ended up having to go see a Gyn/Oncologist. I had to have a couple of surgeries and I still dont know if that took care of the problems or not. I did however; get the tubes/ovaries removed since he was going to be in that general area. Now Im dealing with the Gyn/Onc. Wants me to use Estrace and my reg. oncologist doesnt want me to use it. Personally, I dont want to use it either as I was ER positive. Let us know what the doc says.
Colleen, what wonderful food. Thank you so much. Welcome back from the pissy tent.
Madison, you are so right. Men dont get it. Id like to see them endure what we have and not be a changed person.
Mena, Puppy how are you guys?
Carrie thanks for thinking of my fur baby. He thinks hes human. This is going to be a really tough time as he cant have anything to eat or drink after 10 pm the night before. My thoughts and prayers are with Denise during this time. Im so sorry youve found a lump and my prayers are with you as well. Im glad you didnt wait to see the doctor.
Kristin, you made it through AC! Almost done now.
Shel, nice to see you. Hows the neighbor?
Amy, YES! Im so happy for you. Good news is great.
Everyone is in my thoughts and prayers. I know Ive missed many.
Stay warm, drive safe.
Hugs
Liz
Oh, I have lunch/dinner for tomorrow. How about some Cajun Red Beans & Rice with cornbread and fried potatoes?0 -
Amy and Kristin
0 -
Sweet Susan, You do not deserve this, He has proven himself a selfish Bastard many times!!!!! Enough is Enough! take notes on all the mean things he says, then read them back to him, and ask him how he would like it if someone that " supposed to love him" said these things to him!! If he has a shity responce, Go directly to a lawyer, Because this proves to you, he loves himself to much, to ever consider Your Pain!!! Yes i am in a pissed off mood, and probaly should not even be posting, But Guess what, I don't care, You are My Rock, You are the Soul of Love, for not only me, but all of us, and
THIS MAN PISSES ME OFF!!!!!!!! sorry CG'S, I love you all, and my Prayers and good thoughts are with all of you, VERA, Sooooooooo happy your back, You are my Strength, Peggy, I have been very worried about you too, 
well again I posted, hope you can make some thing out of it, I know my posting is not the best!!! Damn I am mad, ((((SUSAN)))) don't let this looser, make you feel less than what you are (((( an Angel))) xoxo Miss Debby ( aka Puppy) (aka debbyfive) 0
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