TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS

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  • Roxwooood
    Roxwooood Member Posts: 14
    edited December 2006
    Just dropping in to say hey y'all. I have been mostly off the boards for a few months, needed a break. I try to occasionally come check on a few of y'all, those who are always in our heart. I am glad to see this thread still going, and serving the the real purpose of this site, supporting each other during the tough times. It "feels" like this place did long ago, when I first found it, August '04.


    Shel, you are in my thoughts. You are such a fine looking woman!!! Geeze, you'll be having to knock the men off you, before you know it! Send your rejects down this way. Especially if they look like Dave Navarro.


    Nice 'seeing' everyone, and especially great to read that you're bc is stable Mena! You rock, girlfriend!

    Love, Rachel
  • b445
    b445 Member Posts: 980
    edited December 2006
    Evening all, I tried posting yesterday and forgot to copy before I hit continue and ... you guessed it I lost the post.

    It's been non stop for me. Sat I had to get the last minute things that HAD to be done before we had guests, the last minute shopping and the last minute decorating and I had to go get my MIL, ( a 40 min. drive one way)
    Sun. I had to take MIL to do her Christmas shopping, get her pedicure and maicure and then take her home.
    I had a scary bit on Sat night just as guests were arriving I had what my hubby calls "broken glass" where I couldn't see very much but all these kalidascope of colors. it happend twice then went away. but man did I have a headache afterwards.

    So today I had to follow up with my Primary after my day in ER. She said my Onc called her while I was still in the ER and wanted to make sure she would follow up with me since she was on maternity leave. What a great Onc! I was floored when she told me I would now be on blood thinners for the rest of my life! She had never seen the cording in the chest either. said she had seen it in the legs but not the chest. Neither had my Rad Onc. But she said it will eventually go away. But in the meantime it hurts!
    My onc said I can still get my port out so that makes me happy. I will have to do the twice daily shots for a while longer, then they'll cut it back to once a day and after the port is out the will switch me to cummodine. Hubby's not very happy about me taking it for life! and the fact that I'll need to see the Dr. every month
  • AlaskaDeb
    AlaskaDeb Member Posts: 1,159
    edited December 2006
    Hi all-

    Tonight is the last night of my tropical vacation. Tomorrow at noon we hop a jet for good old Alaska. I have to say that even though we have had a blast I am ready to be home. I just hate the actual travel day....believe it or not I hate to fly!

    I have been so active on this vacation I can not believe it. I hiked, swam, snorkeled, walked the beach, kayaked....and I am a fat couch potato!!!! I amazed myself. I really proved to myself that I CAN be a physically active person...now I just need to keep it up at home.

    Now for my little worry...my ribs still hurt. I have had pain in them ever since rads finished in November. Everyone tells me that it is normal, but I'm worried it's mets. Somebody kick me in the butt and tell me to quit being a WORRY WART! I'm going to try Mena's affirmations...

    “Shut up with the stupid thoughts; I am healthy; I am happy; I am in no imminent danger!”

    So easy to say, so hard to do!!!

    Did anyone else have rib pain after rads that got worse and then better…off and on for weeks like this? I have a really high pain tolerance, but about twice a week this is really hurting a lot.

    I will have to take a whole day and catch up on everyone’s news once I get home. I have you all in my thoughts and prayers and have a really fun card planned. Of course I still have to make them, address them and send them so you might be getting them in February at this rate!

    Big hugs…I’m off for a moonlight stroll on the beach with the love of my life…

    Later Gators…

    Deb C.
  • b445
    b445 Member Posts: 980
    edited December 2006
    Oh Deb The Honeymoon is almost over, well not over but the fun part is. I just loved beaing able to swim in the ocean and not be freezing! I envy you! You got to spend a long time there!
    You may have been doing to much and just bruised the ribs. They are more sensative right now.

    Hope all is going well for Denise and Carrie. We will be there in the waiting room. Praying and holding you both in our loving arms.

    Collen repeat after me... I am OK...(Breath) I am OK... (breath) I am OK.... (Breath)

    Mena you are too funny, even when you get your hand slapped you come up smiling

    Ok I've made the rounds all is quite and I've stoked the fires and am off to bed.
  • christineK
    christineK Member Posts: 735
    edited December 2006
    Love hearing from all of the long long sistahs- welcome back girls. Wether you have been on hiatus, vaca or just needed a break, I am glad you can still find us here,
    Holiday cards are just going out and I really wish we could all celebrate together.
    Where are my thryoid sisters? Just had my 2nd bx. First was fine needle aspiration, second was a core bx. One week for results...Arrrggghh, the waiting!
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 2,728
    edited December 2006
    Good Mroning Everyone: Oh my it was a busy night here while I was watching football. But before I say hello to everyone I have a story to tell you.

    ...They came! The thrill and excitement. To me, 8 Chrstmas cards from all my friends here in the circle. They had a rubberband around them, keeping them all safe. As I was on my way home to the circle, excitement started to build inside my heart. I started running as fast as I could. Got to the campfire and threw on a few logs. Waited until the fire became bright. The excitement was thrilling. Got myself a glass of wine - sat at the campfire and looked at each envelope. So many women from all over this country. Goose bumps all over me, one by one I opened them. My heart was pounding - and not from running to the campfire. I opened each card, and with each card I had a bigger smile. A feeling of love. After I opened the last card, I poured myself another glass of wine. Then I started crying, but they were happy tears! Distorted Humor walked over to see what all the fuss was about. When all was said and done, I noticed a tear drop from one of his eyes too. I sat by the fire and just thought about so many things. Mostly about each and everyone of you. I feel like the luckiest person in the world - to have met all of you - and to have so many friends. I threw a couple of more logs on the fire and went to sleep. Distorted Humor told me I was peaceful and smiled in my sleep the whole night. I am so blessed to have met all of you.

    Im so motivated now. Gotta run out and get some cards in the morning.

    Liz: My car isnt black, its like a metallic dark grey. So it sure showed up the dirt. Didnt put it in the garage last night. It rained here. And wallah! It looks clean again. At least all that salt crud was washed off. Christmas shopping will make me a scrooge anytime. I hate fighting the crowds, standing in line, not finding the right size!! But then, come Christmas morning - each present is so special. Good luck at you doctor appointments.

    Cheri: I am so glad you are going to call the doctor. This can be so many things and may be so easy to treat. Hypertension - its know as the silent killer. Usually you dont have symptoms. Your body is trying to adjust - maybe thats why the swelling. Anyways, leave it up to one of your docs lol. Sometimes I go "eenie meenie minee moe" For this one, I would put my big fat finger on PCP. Let us know what the doctor says.

    Ishop: OMG, what great pictures of your grandchildren. It sure put a smile on my face this morning. Children - they are so darn cute and innocent. Glad I didnt have to clean up the mess though.

    So sorry to hear about your friend and your neighbor. Its never easy dealing with this stuff, but I think its harder around the holidays. You make sure to come here more often. This is when you need us most.

    NS: Im standing here with my arms folded and tapping my left foot. So who let you out of the medic tent? Thats all I want to know. Warms showers, heat, and of course pain pills are on the menu for you. Im using mental telepathy. "Back pain go away, dont come again another day."

    Ya know we each have our own ways of reading the posts on this site. I do it one by one. Dont take notes anymore. Just read each post as respond as I go along. Thank Goodness for the edit button. Sooooooooo I just came to

    PEGGY'S POST: OMG I was so happy to here from you. And I love the red scarf your snowman is wearing. Hope you had fun decorating your tree. We will buy our tree tomorrow. I love when the decorating is done. The branches seems to widen and hang a little lower. Guess thats cause its filled with love from all those ornaments and stuff. You truelly are a sweetheart, and mean so much to us here. Please go out and get one little inexpensive ornament. I like Santas, cats, snowmen, etc. Put that one on the tree. Name it Nicki's ornament. Then I will be in your thoughts Christmas. Im gonna go out and do the same today, Ill let you know what I pick out.

    Rachel: OMG - 2 surprizes in one morning. Just like the picture of your cats dancing. Im holding hands with you and dancing for joy. Its so good to hear from you. I say, this is a special occasion - lets bring out the chocolate fountain!! Still dancing, still dancing, still dancing - OK out of breath now.

    CherylCY: Wow, what an adventure! First of all it sounds like you did way too much. And way too much stress too. I bet the broken glass vision was scary. So when will you get your port out. I just got the ok also. Gonna schedule it after the 1st of the year. Im so excited about getting it out. I think you need to go to the spa tent and be pampered a little! Massage, manicure, pedicure - the works. It should be your time to relax and enjoy.

    DebC: Im so glad when you come to say hello. I enjoy your descriptions of all the fun you are having. I would do just about anything to go to Hawaii. Its good to feel somewhat normal again. With regards to the rib pain. So the doctors tell you its nothing? Have they done any tests? I believe in the 2 week rule. If its still there, keep pursuing it and be your own advocate.

    Christine: That thyroid biopsy sound yucky. I hope your feeling ok. A week for results? Thats stinky. But Im sending positive vibes your way - so stay strong.

    Vickie: Where are you and what was in the box? Hoping your feeling better today.

    Baldeagle and Silvergirl: Missing both of you. Hoping all is well.

    Amy: How are you and the baby goat doing?

    OK! Now heres the real story. I went to work yesterday morning like I do everyday. I work for a sub acute rehab. Punched in, grabbed all my memos from my box and went into the report room. Every morning we have report. The administrator, Director of Nursing, Director of Social Services, and Director of Activities. We go over who was discharged and who was admitted. The room is called "The Pump Room." Was designed to look like the "Pump Room" in downtown Chicago. Sat my papers down and found 8 cards that were wrapped in a rubber band. I was the first one in the report room. I sat there and read each card, one by one, and started crying. As my coworkers walked in, they were shocked to see me in such a state. One by one I explained to them what the cards were. Before the morning report was over, I think I had the whole Department Head staff crying. You all are very special to me.

    On a serious note. We need to gather, and be strong for our Denise. Her surgery is as serious as it gets. Half of us should go into the operating room and the other half should go and sit with our dear Carrie in the waiting room. Join hands ladies. Our strength together is very powerful. We need to send alot of strength there way.

    Looking for so many other sisters. Tinairene, Robin, Helen1, LauraB, LauraGTO - and everyone else. I know your out there, and I know Im missing you.

    OK - time to go, have a wonderful day.

    Nicki

  • Naniam
    Naniam Member Posts: 586
    edited December 2006
    Good Morning, Dear Sisters,

    Oh the joy of receiving your cards!!!!! There were several yesterday and they certainly brought a smile. Mine are now safely (ha) in the hands of the US Postal Service. We all came here with heavy hearts, pain and lots of worries and we have become as one large family. I know many do not understand us nor the bonds that we have formed - it is a place that we feel safe, can say we need in the blues tent, medic tent, etc., and express our fears, shed tears and offer hope and laughter to some that need it most. Each brings a unique gift to this circle.

    Sometimes it is hard to come and read as some of you are sill fighting this beast, the words that forever changed our lives, Breast Cancer. For me, I am not a year from chemo or rads yet and each day is liking dragging another foot forward, I'm over the hump but not all the scars. I am anxiously waiting for the first year of everything to be behind me.

    Some of you recently were talking about your doctors telling you that "problems" were all in your head. Oh, I got that one too!!! It hurt deeply, made me terribly angry and it took away my trust from my oncologist. I thought he should know me better after being there as I went through chemo, guess not. I think his exact words were "we are good at finding bad things wrong with people and one thing we know is that there is nothing bad wrong with you. I have a friend (a psychiatrist) that I have sent other patients of mine too. I would like for you to see him as I think you have some underlying, unresolved issues related to your breast cancer. Is there something going on in your life that we aren't aware of?" See, all my test for my gallbladder came back normal but I had hurt for months, it stopped, it came back and I just knew it was gallbladder pain. Finally my SIL ask a GI specialist that was a friend to check me out. He did an endoscopic ultrasound where they can look at the gallbladder from inside - they inject dye. IT WAS MY GALLBLADDER!! It wasn't in my head and I have yet to make an appointment to see the psychiatrist and you can imagine what will freeze over before I do. I am pain free now. I am one of the women that has had such a hard time with fatigue following treatment. This has kind of kicked me in the rear energy wise but then I have always been like the everready bunny rabbit - just going and going. So, to those that have already heard or to any that may hear in the future - it is in your head; don't buy it!! We know our bodies by now and we know when something isn't right. I am sorry that this has happened to you and I am ticked that it happened to me.

    This past Sunday we went to the NC mountains for the weekend. They had had a little snow earlier in the week. As we crossed a little creek getting to the house, there was the white frozen snow gently clinging to the edges of the creek with the water passing gently by this frozen beauty. Then we had the setting winter sun splashing gold, on the tops of the bare trees and giving the sky a golden glow. I thought of all of us. Sometimes we are the frozen snow, stopped in time with everday life slowly moving forward but then with the golden light that played later, that is us to. We have all come through the refiner's fire and are now like beautiful gold. So when you see the golds of Christmas, think of us. Golden we are for we have traveled or are traveling through a fire but we come out beautiful.

    Denise, may the One who loves us, keep you safe in his arms. We have wrapped you and Carrie in prayers and the "strength of the Sisterhood".

    Dear Sisters, I pray you have a wonderful day. I read your post, sometimes with tears, sometimes with the anxiousness or frustrations that you feel and sometimes with just a hardy laugh. We have something special here.

    Hugs and blessings to all, Brenda
  • snowmen_n_thongs
    snowmen_n_thongs Member Posts: 367
    edited December 2006
    good morning cg's
    back to work here agin...ugh
    well we had our christmas party sunday nite and i got to tell you it was a blast!!!!!!!!!! I had a drink for everyone of you ladies and now i have to quit drinking... well just till next time.....
    I got a huge butterball turkey and and a 200.00$ bonus
    Me and hubby went christmas shopping yesterday and not even nearly done......... the crappy thing is we have to drive 1 1/2 to the city just to go to walmart!
    I think my kids are a bit spoiled i got the oldest one a brand new tv for her room and my youngest got a portable dvd player with two screens
    well its offical i am a college student again.... i am all enrolled in the princibles of management!!!
    its a 15 week online program offered by the college here and yep its a credit course
    that cost me 400.00 bucks but the company i work for is going to pay half......

    lol i am dying of curosity why menas post was deleted
    but i think i can guess.........

    lol chemosabi you are like a kid in the candy store.....so exciting to get christmas cards.... guess i will check my mail soon I so love reading your posts they are filled with such passion

    AlaskaDeb hope you holidays were fabulous.... but welcome home....... cant wait to see your pictures.

    oh i finally got a new mastectomy bra yesterday....lol i have the same two for 3 yrs now just about.......so nice to finally have a new one... cost me 58 dollars but hubbys medical will cover it.....

    well have a great day ladies........
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    tracey
  • purplemb
    purplemb Member Posts: 593
    edited December 2006
    GM all...
    well I sat with tears all last night, the cards came in a huge pile ...you are all the best....
    NS so sorry you are having such trouble, wish I were closer I'd head over to take care of you...back pain is no fun...
    Liz, I am so proud of you, walking while you are not feeling well, try the easy stretches I left for the holidays...even my mom loves doing them...
    Nicki don't you just hate driving in snow belt weather, my cars all look the same...dirty snow mode...
    Tracey so glad you had a good time at your party you deserved it....thanks for drinking for me...lol..glad you found a new bra, I've been sewing the TLC pockets in nice ones from walmart...very lacey & pretty you may want to try it....I am still praying for you & daughter...raising kids is soo hard today...
    Peggy , so glad you keep checking In
    Mena...there has to be one trouble maker in each group...I used to think it was me , now i know its you...lol...thanks for taking up the torch...
    I shop...lol...who thought green was a good color...lolololol...was frosting cookies this weekend with grand daughter...I can relate...
    Well must run, work you know cuts into my visiting time...anyway I will be off for a few, taking my dad to Pittsburgh for a quick surgery...but will stay there so if there isnt internet I will be back on Monday, and it will be Tuesday before I get allthe posts read..
    Hugs to all my family take care and kno wyou are all in my prayers...
    MB
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 1,233
    edited December 2006
    Good morning, hope all slept well. Swelling in my feet isn't quite as bad as it has been. I went off the Lyrica yesterday, maybe it helped. BP is still high, though. It's been 2 weeks at about an average of 157/102. Thursday I have my appt. with the specialist in Iowa City to see if he can fix my foot enough so I can walk with shoes on. He's ranked #7 in the country for ankle/foot. I found him a little over a yr ago, right before they found my bc. So, I had to put my foot on hold.I've had so many surgeries done on it that my last ortho said all we could do was amputate. Yikes! I don't think so. Not unless it was life threatening. I've gone through too much with bc, actually still going through things with it, to lose my leg. I finished rads this past early Oct. & had an appt. made in Iowa that I had to cancel 'cos my rad onc found 2 lumps in the bad breast & was scheduled for a biopsy on my appt. date, so I re-scheduled ankle dr. Then 2 weeks ago had my appt. during the bad winter storm we got. My dh & I got up at 4:00 a.m. & started out. We didn't make it very far on icy roads til we had to turn back & re-scedule again. It's about an 8 hr. trip from us. So now, I'm going up there with a broken toe, high bp and my feet swollen. But I AM going! Could be why my bp is high, all this stress with a too hard breast and facing the possibity of losing my leg. Ya think? Geez, I may have beant some ears, but it feels good to get off my chest! People actually PAY for therapy when I have you guys. Absurd.

    NS, so sorry to hear about your back pain and all the problems you've had with it. They may have damaged it in surgery but they still left you with plenty of back-bone!

    Cheryl Cy, so sorry about your health problems but am glad you're able to still get your port out.

    Deb, happy you enjoyed your trip. Ya know, all that exercise that your not used to might be a reason your ribs have flared up. I know if I did all that it'd be more than my ribs hurting!

    Ishop, cute pic of your granddaughter. You said she turns 2 this friday, my gs turns 2 on monday. They're so funny at that age.

    Nicki, thank you for your concern about my bp I appreciate it 'cos I'm a little scared. I skipped my pcp, he's an idiot. I called and left a message for my onc. He'll call me something in that hopefully will work. Glad your day was brightened yesterday by your cards. That's so nice.

    Shel, where are you? It's not the same on here without you. I miss you. You haven't let one of those hunky cowboys drive your wagon again, have you? They may good at alot of things, but driving isn't a strong point. Take over the reins & catch up with us.

    All of you are in my thoughts. Be well today. My heart goes out tot those having suregeries and tests.

    Best Wishes,
    Cheri M.
  • 2up
    2up Member Posts: 944
    edited December 2006
    i'm around.........i'm just really tired all the time.

    finding treatments kinda difficult.

    not much to say.......i'm feeling a little lost as christmas looms ahead.

    this is a tough time of year for us.

    anyhow.........hope all are well.........i'm going to run to the mailbox to check for more christmas cards.
  • Mena
    Mena Member Posts: 263
    edited December 2006
    This from my sista MB here:

    "Mena...there has to be one trouble maker in each group...I used to think it was me , now i know its you...lol...thanks for taking up the torch..."

    No way MB...I don't want that rep...I just went berserk on Mike in my Deliverance Wagon in that post and I guess some of the Circle Haters here or Mike himself felt it was against site regulations....like I was really threatening anyone...I don't even know where he lives...duh...

    Honestly, in my gut I believe a Circle Hater had something to do with it...Nevertheless it felt good getting it out of my system!

    Still hate a cheatin' husband...(not necessarily a troublemaker) And, I don't like torches...well, teekee (tiki?) torches, yes...love...Mena...xo
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 1,233
    edited December 2006
    Shel, glad you checked in I was getting worried about you. Hope you start feeling better. Remember, you have a strong support system here. Use it.

    Hugs,
    Cheri
  • AlaskaDeb
    AlaskaDeb Member Posts: 1,159
    edited December 2006
    3 more hours in hawaii and counting!!! ANyone want to pack for me?? I just wanted to send hugs to Denise and Carrie. I'm sending prayers your way. We are right there with you...can you feel us holding you close?

    My ribs feel better this morning. I think I told myself I was OK long enough that it worked THANK YOU MENA!!!!

    I have to quit chatting and get PACKED...

    Big love and Aloha
    Deb C.
  • AlaskaDeb
    AlaskaDeb Member Posts: 1,159
    edited December 2006
    Hey Shel-

    Saw your post. I’m sorry your treatment is getting you down…Cancer sucks! We are here for you. Off to the center of the circle with you. We have warm blankets and lots of hugs waiting for you. I’ll even left a bottle of fresh POG juice (Passion fruit, Orange, Guava) by the fire for you.

    Keep in touch girl…

    Deb C.
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 1,233
    edited December 2006
    "Circle Haters", we have Circle Haters?? Nah, say it ain't so! How could anyone hate us? I found this thread & I'm hanging on for dear life!

    Everyone on this board are basically the same. We've all experienced so much and we're all still living bc or we wouldn't be here. I joined up with this bunch of hooligans 'cos ya'll are the most caring. Well, alright, the most FUN.

    Mena, you're feisty & outgoing and sooo funny.

    All of you girls have something really special about you.

    We have to be careful sometimes that we don't make a big ole mountain out of a lil' ole mole hill.

    Cheri
  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 2,941
    edited December 2006
    Hi ladies,
    Been laying low for a couple days. A bit overwhelmed, overworked, overtired, overstressed.
    Colleen...my busy brain has been hanging out in the fugly places too. I don't know why...everything is fine but I wake up anywhere from 2am to 4am after weird dreams that I can't seem to separate from reality...totally anxious, heart pounding and just plain scared. The Xanex and Lexapro are helping I just wish I didn't wake up this way every single morning. I am chanting Mena's chant...constantly.
    Mena...sending you thanks and love for the chant...really need it I think. A circle hater!!! Oh that's just not possible...how could anyone hate our circle...maybe an ex husband who hates to see things for the way they are. We love everyone here as long as they do no harm. You made me laugh with your post though!
    Cheri...I have four sisters and one brother (who drives us crazy!!). Lots of nieces and nephews.
    MB...prayers for a safe journey and a good outcome for your dads surgery. We will miss you and we'll be saving you a seat by the fire when you return. OH...GEEZ...I got the boob!!! Whoopie...it's neat and I think I may be able to come up with a crocheted version. Thank you!
    Nicki...I feel the same way you do about the cards...I don't think I've ever in my life gotten so many cards and I've never gotten so many that mean so very much to me.
    Brenda...It's so good to see you...blessings to you too as you are golden.
    Sheri...are you working on your lines?
    Dearest Shel...just sending you warm hugs and lots of good wishes for brighter happier days.
    Prayers for Carrie and Denise...thank you NS for keeping us updated...you are truly a wonder.
    Ishop...love the pictures...what a doll.
    Peggy...always so good to see you. Sisters we are. I love the "Drag Queen" snowman(women)!
    NS...hope your back is feeling better...I have always had back problems and it's like a nagging toothache sometimes that just won't go away.
    Deb...awww...home tomorrow. Glad you had such a wonderful time and we have missed you here. Can't wait to see your pictures.
    Tracey...an hour and a half to Wal-Mart...and I thought I lived out in the sticks!!!
    AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
    A BIG HUG FOR SHEL. Stick with us girl. Keep writing and posting, whine or rant or cry...so whatever you need to do...lots of love here for you.
    Leaving out many...have to get back to work!!
    Hugs
    Oh...haven't dealt with all of the "box" yet. I took out an Indian doll that my mother had made that is beautiful and put the box away for a bit.
  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 2,941
    edited December 2006
    oh...chemo brained me. I mailed out a whole stack of cards today so I am officially done...all your cards are in the mail so if you haven't gotten one yet it is on it's way!
    Hugs
    Vickie
  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 2,941
    edited December 2006
    Cheri...I think this bunch of holigans are both the most caring and the most fun...I'm hanging on for dear life too!!!
    Hugs
  • 2up
    2up Member Posts: 944
    edited December 2006
    mena, you make me laugh!

    seriously though girls.........what i did on the weekend was wrong.

    i think in some strange way he does care about me, but he has issues.....as do i!

    i don't wish to hurt him.......just the opposite......i know i can't help him anymore, and that we both have to help ourselves. i wish it could've been different, but it can't be and i'm working on accepting that.

    he and i are both in counselling to hopefully learn to deal with our baggage, and finally live fulfilling lives. and so on that note, i'd like to say that we should let mike out of that tent.......i suspect that he is suffering enough on his own........and i can't stand to see him hurting. ( i know, i'm nuts!).......but i know 2 mike's, one i can do without, but the other who i care for deeply.

    i need to learn to love myself a little..........then i'm going to be ok!

    thanks for the incredible support girls.........i'd be completely lost without this place!
  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 2,941
    edited December 2006

    (((Shel)))...we'll let Mike out of the tent. Many have been in your shoes and know what you are feeling.

  • 2up
    2up Member Posts: 944
    edited December 2006
    thanks vickie.......i did what i did because i was hurt.......still am..........but it was wrong and childish and not the way i want to behave.

    actually i am ashamed of myself.

    i always accuse him of having a funny way of showing he cares.......but what i did was not exactly showing that i cared either........so i'd like to try and forget it, because i need to sleep at some point lol!
  • newvickie
    newvickie Member Posts: 2,941
    edited December 2006
    It's all ok Shel...I know exactly what it's like to love someone when you know you shouldn't. To still care so very much even though you don't want to.
    Sleep well and have sweet dreams...you deserve it.
    (and don't feel childish or ashamed...we all need to get it out of our system every now and then and you found out how loved you are here in the process.)
    Come visit the drinking thread...there is big exciting news there that should lift you spirits!!!
    More gentle hugs to you
    Vickie
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 2,728
    edited December 2006
    Good Evening Everyone: We certainly are a chatty group. I find I have to check in now when I come home from work or I wouldnt have enough time to talk to all of you.

    Had another busy day at work. Driving around in what I call dirty Chicago. Thats what it looks like when the snow is melting. No time for shopping today. Ya see some of you can come on the computer while your working. Me? I can stop at a store here and there. And my plan today was to shop here and there, but alas - no time allowed.

    Brenda: I am so glad you were an advocate for yourself. Psychiatrist? Bah Hum Bug!! Ya know this is another thing that bothers me. Psychiatrists are usually pompous butts! They treat you with medication management. If we do have difficulties, its so much better to see a psychologist or social worker. They want to listen! My psychologist/social worker - well its all of you. You are the only ones that understand everything.

    Tracey: Sounds like your life isa hoppin. A turkey and a bonus? "I do believe, I do believe." Our children are here to spoil. Or is that grandchildren? I get confused. Ahahahahaha Principles of Management. Been there. You will enjoy it. I really like the leadership aspect. And problem solving. Im thinking about taking a few courses myself. I want to become onc certified. Just cause I want to.

    PurpleMB: Geez, your always going somewhere or doing something. Im stomping my foot down and pouting cause we wont see you until Tuesday. Hope your dad is ok with the surgery.

    ,--------- cool. thats me. Soooooo
    is pouting about purpleMB

    Cheri: Wow! I dont remember you talking about your foot problem. Thats pretty darn scary. Its been a tough year, but hey - loook where you are now. Your not getting older, your getting better everyday. So between you and me. I say oh yeah of little faith - when it comes to me and health issues. Been an advocate and nurse for 36 years. Man that makes me old. So I say, foot doctor wont do surgery until BP is under control. And your gonna need a PCP to give you clearance for surgery. Maybe the foot doctor can hook you up with a good PCP. Anyways, let us know how everything goes. BP is still too high, especially the lower number, but at least its coming down. 12 years ago my BP was 180/120 and I felt fine!!! But its the pamper yourself tent for you. We get rid of all that stress by making you feel special. Today Cheri is the special one.

    Mena my friend, you are just so funny. Ahahahaha that post must have really been something. Mena a trouble maker? Nah!! Just acute adorable person who looks great in a bikini. Remember the picture Peggy posted of you? I so do need some time to find it, quote it, so everyone can see it.

    Vickie: All I can say is I sure was amissing you. Always look forward to whats new on the agenda at the Retirement Community. I love those older people.

    Shel: OK! Your punichsment was that you had to monitor the animal tent. Yeppers that meant being around Madisons new puppy. Who will eat or chew anything. And you didnt have any help. Distorted Humor and Mazer the Tazer were busy today. Seriously, you and I are so much alike. My husband always tells me I dont learn my elbow from a hot coal. All I know is Im glad your back and the Santa ornaments stays.

    OK everyone, Im laughing and Im not gonna change the way I spelled punishment. Im on my third glass of wine and will now go look for theat "How about drinking thread."

    Be well and have a great night.

    Nicki
  • Mena
    Mena Member Posts: 263
    edited December 2006
    Good to see you Shel!

    Mike's been pampered and Circle-loved all day in the Deliverance Wagon and sent on his way to heal and deal.

    You've nothing to be ashamed of. It's over. Don't revisit it. You'll make yourself nuts. Let it go now. Better days are ahead. Hang on...Mena...xo
  • nosurrender
    nosurrender Member Posts: 737
    edited December 2006
    Circle Girls- Denise can come out of the inner circle!

    Her brain surgery was a 100% SUCCESS!!!!

    Carrie said it was 8 hours long!

    It was pretty delicate and complicated but her speach is fine and seems unaffected.

    Our Circle Prayers are STRONG!!!

    Now we have to pray for Carrie's surgery next Tues.

    These two sisters have sure been through a lot!

    I will be back a little later- I just wanted to fill you in now.

    Love you,
    g
  • purplehaze66
    purplehaze66 Member Posts: 49
    edited December 2006

    Dear circle ladies, I have never posted here but I do read your posts and find that you are all so wonderful in supporting eachother. I hope I am not intruding..... I could really use the sisterhood support and prayers if you have them. I have completed just like many of of you surgery chemo and rads and reconstruction. I know I don't have to tell you all what a terrible year it has been. I was finally starting to get back into the new normal when my sister has been dealing with some minor illness. she is 10 years younger(30). She has had a cough for a long while and has been diagnosed with asthma, so we took a sigh of relief because we had been concerned with reaccurring pnumonia and bronchitis continually. she is seeing a pulmonary dr. he is treating her now. but she has gotten worse and wound up in the hospital last weekend spitting up blood. so after telling her for months to ask for a cat scan. she finally had one on Fri. they called her yesterday telling her they see something on her lower left lung(they called it a density) where it looks like no air is flowing.(what does this mean????) she is going for a biopsy on Dec 19th. My family is sick with worry since this year has been so awful to begin with. she is of course frantic she has a 4 year little boy. I am trying to remain calm but want to crawl out of my skin. please if anyone has prayers to offer or positve good thoughts to share I could really use them. again i am sorry if this is intruding but I feel like I could really use the power you girls have to offer!

  • cmb35
    cmb35 Member Posts: 554
    edited December 2006
    Hi Ladies

    Well, I have some time to myself tonight, so I'm going to try to catch up on the last two days. Took an Ativan last night, after I finally fell asleep, I slept like a baby and didn't wake up until 10:30am this morning!! My fiance took care of getting my son off to school (and also did the dishes, put the lights on the tree and took the dog for a walk - go Tim!) Anyway, I'm feeling much better today, thanks again to everyone who sent positive thoughts my way.

    So, I'm going to try to do the thing where you copy your post so that you don't lose it...
  • cmb35
    cmb35 Member Posts: 554
    edited December 2006
    Shel - Obviously missed whatever happened, but the bottom line is you're a smart, beautiful, kind, loving person, and you deserve that in return. And hey, it sounds like you had a moment of weakness where you got angry instead of being "the bigger person". Well, guess what? You're only human! Don't beat yourself up about it. And realize how well you are loved and respected by the ladies here - that's the way it should be! Best of luck to you with whatever happens with you and Mike.

    Liz - I was able to copy the cartoon - thanks! You know how sometimes something just strikes you as really funny? I laugh every time I see it!

    Carrie - so glad to hear Denise's surgery was a success! How did you make out at the Dr's yesterday?

    Madison - Oh, I am so sorry! Why does it seem like there is so much more pain and suffering in the world during the month of December? I know it can't really be true, but it just seems like this has been an especially hard couple of weeks.

    Vicki - that was so special of your friend's son, I'm sure you'll treasure that doll!
  • Mena
    Mena Member Posts: 263
    edited December 2006
    NS: WHEW! and WOO HOO and thanks for that update on Denise! That's such great news. I've been thinking of the delicacy of that surgery all day...said a special prayer for her hours ago while walking my neighbor's dog...I sure hope her recovery is quick and painless as possible. Let's keep praying and sending positive energy to the both of them...

    Michelle: Welcome to the Circle...I'm sure anyone who reads your post and prays has already started to do so...make yourself comfortable...

    Now, when is Carrie's surgery?...Mena...xo