TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS

[Deleted User]

Good Morning Everyone! I woke up rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Put on something warm and walked over to the campfire. Sat myself down with a great cup of coffee and just enjoyed the silence. I must have "Cardiomegaly" thats the medical term for an enlarged heart - because I have a special place in my heart for everyone of you.

Im feeling good today. Heard from a very old friend who has a special place in my heart and I gotta tell you it just made my day.

Ya know we are a talkative bunch! Even when I try to keep up, I still have to go through 2 pages when I wake up. Thats why I just love coming to this thread. As soon as I wake up in the morning, the wagon circle pops in my head. Its like getting coffee IV. I need to quick jump outta bed and find out how everyone is doing. Now - thats really being addicted!!

So I got the results of my tumor markers. Ca15-3 is 33. Thats one point above normal!! So its a go, the port comes out after Christmas. Gonna call my surgeon tomorrow to schedule an appointment. He reassured me this can be done under a local. Finially, finially - I will have closure!!

Jan: I just love your avatar. That red wine looks so good even at 6:30 in the morning. So glad you stopped by to say hi!

Cheri: I think the reality is, we each have our own stories. Filled with heartache and disappointments. But - we are survivors!!! All of your Christams presents are wrapped? OMG - I am indeed a procrastinator. I have one more present to make. Im pretty proud of what I have made so far. I never realized I could be so artistic and with plastic canvas yet.

Shel: I left my own little message on your new thread. I think your gonna feel much better when you go back to work. It will keep your mind busy and your self esteem will improve. Nothing like taking care of a patient who has worry in their eyes - being reassured and actually smiling back at you.

Mike: If you reading this, your in big trouble. Have you ever heard of the burning man in Las Vega. Well I have the wood all gathered and if you dont stop invading our privacy, we will burn you at the stakes!! No kidding. You would be surprised to find out what 100+ women can do to a man who is so full of himself.

Liz: DH is supportive. So lucky I am. But I would rather be married to a rich man lol. I feel so bad about MJ. The more I think about it, the more Im remembering her. Its always so sad to hear about another sister being ravished by this awful disease. Have your heard from Bevd? I still think about her alot.

Carrie: Another week filled with worry and anxiety. Good luck with your surgeons appointment. Please tell Denise, we are all gonna be in Cleveland on the 12th. That family waiting room is gonna be pretty full!! Distored Humor has promised to behave. Last time we were at the hospital both Distored Humor and Mazer the Tazer were running down the hallways to get to the cafeteria for munchies. This time we will be smart. We will bring cinnamon bears with to keep them at bay. On a seious note, you and Denise are in my mind and my heart. Im feeling pretty strong today, so Im sending you both alot of strenght to get through this week.

Madison: OH how awful. Im so sorry about your friend losing her husband. And Kristin, was so young. Here we are fighting for our lives, so its hard to understand someone taking their life. Both losses are so difficult. No time to prepare. A sudden, unexpected loss. Do all the kicking, ranting, biting that you want.

Vickie: I dont which sounds worse. Shopping on the week end or cleaning house. Glad you got rid of the dust bunnies lol. I still havent cleaned my closet. Its bulging, let me tell you. Still have summer clothing waiting to be put away. Thats what a procrastinator I am.

Madison: OMG! I just read your post about the puppy. Tennis shoes! Im laughing so hard right now. Been there, done that. I suppose then the puppy looked up at you with those cute little eyes and said "what?" did I do something wrong?

NS: I loved the story about you "friend." 20 years ago is a bit much to remember even without chemo. So my next visual from the description of your house is a skinny girl, wearing go go boots and dancing. Yeppers, I had a pair of them myself. I say, leave the hosue alone. Things always come back stylish. Look at bell bottoms! Gone, now back, now gone again. Geez!

Debc: So good to hear from you. Sounds like you are having so much fun. Sometimes dont ya just feel "Aint life grand?" We do miss you, but glad your having a wonderful vacation.

Well, daylight has arrived. No sun today. Gonna go light a fire and start working on my newest project. I just realized its Sunday and Sunday means "football" - no anxiety today though. Da Bears dont play until tomorrow. Oh I hate when we play Monday night games.

Today, breakfast is gonna be simple. A bowl of cheerios with a banana.

So have a great day. Ill be back later.

Nicki

Madison

Good Morning All,

Up early, going to church, taking all of you with me.

I need to knock on purplemb's door and ask for some of her homemade cookies, or can I go in one of the tents and get some for after lunch dessert with my parents?! It seems that JAKE THE BAD DOG has scored again.

Score: Jake 2, tennis shoes 0 and chocolate chip cookie dough, on the cooking pan, waiting to go in the oven - 0, yep he ate all the cookies waiting to be baked.

Talk to you all later, gonna go raid a tent for cookies!

newvickie

Oh my...what a busy night here.
Good morning sweet circle girls.
Shel...do you feel the love here for you. There is so much love and support here that we will fill you heart to the limit and there will be no room left for dear old Mike. We will push him out of your heart, your mind and your spirit and you will feel more support and love than ever before in your life. Sisters forever.
Alaska Deb...sooo good to see you. Glad you are having such a wonderful time. The memories of my after radiation vacation with my daughter and SIL at Cocoa Beach carry me through the dark and dreary days were having right now.
NS...having a tough time with the box but it is truly a gift from heaven. I had a similar experience with a women at the funeral...she came up to me and gave me a huge hug and went on to say how wonderful I looked and how great it was to see me again as it's been such a long time! I have no idea who she was!! It's driving me batty...chemo brain really sucks. I have searched high and low for the angel that goes on the top of my tree that I have had forever and haven't been able to find her but got thinking about it the other night and I'm not sure that I even have her. My daughter and I left her father (who was an abusive horrible man) and when we left we left with nothing but our clothes and I'm thinking that maybe that's where the angel is even though I feel like I've had her on the top of the tree every year since we left...we left him 8 years ago!!! AAAUUUGGGGHHH
Carrie...sending you hugs. And yes, we will be with you and Denise on the 12th with a force that will allow all to go well. Heartfelt prayer to both of you.
Had a late night last night so I'm up later than usual this morning. My brother disappeared yesterday...left at 6am to go hunting, my SIL called at 8pm to see if I had seen him. I hadn't so she called everyone she could think of and no one else had seen him either. He is never later than 6pm getting home and we had no idea where he was. It was cold out and of course our first thought was that he had gotten hurt in the woods and couldn't get out...foolish man hunting alone. I called a friend to see if he could go look and see if his truck was parked at his usual hunting spot...it wasn't. We decided to give him until 9:30 to get home before calling the police and he arrived at 9:10. Mad as a wet hen that she had called all over looking for him. He had gone hunting in the morning and then went about an hour away to do some construction work on a house that took him longer than he anticipated. OHHHH I was sooo mad at him. I really let him have it...told him he should feel such love that we were all so worried about him and if he ever did that again I'd personal kick his a$$. Men!!! He calmed down then and apologized to his wife and kids for scaring them.
Have a beautiful happy day all,
Love Vickie

SheriH

I love your story abaout your brother. I like to remind my kids that I wouldn't get so mad at them if I didn't love them so much.

AlaskaDeb, I am so glad you are having such a good time in Hawaii. Sounds like it's been a great vacation. Are you ready to go back to winter yet?

Madison, I am so sorry about all the tragedies you've experienced this weekend. Teenage suicide is one of my biggest fears. My oldest son tried to kill himself a few times and came fairly close once. He was in a coma for 24 hours. One of the worst times of my life, even worse than my cancer dx. I guess if I could go through that, I could do anything. I really sympathize with their family.

NS, I did something like that with a person I actually have seen recently. There is this couple who go to my church and their grandson goes to my school, he was in my class a couple of years ago. One day after school last week the grandfather was picking up his grandson and I knew I should know who he was, but couldn't place it. I asked him if he was looking for someone, duh! I felt really stupid. Darn that chemo brain.

Hopefully, if the play is a go, we will get our scripts today. I am really excited. This should be an interesting character to play.

[Deleted User]

Afternoon, girls. Hope all you are feeling well and strong today. I have a couple questions maybe you could help me wih. The top of both feet have been swollen, not just the bad foot but the other one as well. My hand on the side where they took nodes has always swelled a bit but not my feet. Is this because of the tamox? They're even swollen when I first get up in the morning and shiny. My bp was high so my onc told me to buy a bp cuff & take notes daily. I have been & it's stayed high. My dr. put me on double the dosage of my zestril that I started taking last thursday. It's now 171/102. Do you any of you know how long it takes for the bp meds to get into your system? I would appreciate any help. You all have been through so much I figured some of you could help me. Thanks in advance.

Nicki, Congrats on being able to get your port removed. That's great news. I know that's important to you.

Alaska Deb, you have a great time & enjoy every minute!

NS, lol, you deleted, but you had to leave a parting shot didn't you? I know that hurt you to delete (giggles)

Vicki, so glad your inconsiderate brother was ok.

Sheri, hope you get your scripts today. That'll be great for you to be involved in.

Shel, Shel, Shel, hummm, what to say? We all have to lead our own lives as best we can. You just do what you know in your heart is the best thing for YOU.

Well, I know I've missed a few of you and sorry for that. I feel a little yucky today. Nothing in particular. Just the blahs.
Best Wishes for good health to all.

Cheri

[Deleted User]

Good Evening Everyone: How is everyone. I decided to take a break - have been working very hard on my latest project. After this one, I only have one more to make. I am officially one of Santa's helpers.

Vickie: I related to the story about your brother. Men are such jerks. My husband has play in pubs for the entire time we have known each other. There have been many nights where I was up and calling all the local emergency rooms.

Sheri: Good luck with your part in the play. Im sure its gonna be fun for you.

Cheri: Sounds like your feet are swollen from fluid retention. Tamoxifen can cause that and so can hypertension. 171/102 is way too high, so my guess is your retaining fluid cause of both (tamoxifen and high BP). Sometimes they have to find the right combination of meds for the blood pressure. I would call the doctor your PCP or whomever monitors your BP and let him know your numbers and that your feet are swollen. They may need to tweek you BP medication more. Maybe even a mild diuretic for a bit. Im on Dyazide. It mild and controls my blood pressure and fluid retention. That added that to my atenolol and cardizem. I had problems with high blood pressure way before bc. Anyways - call the doctor tomorrow.

OK - back to my project and football. Giants won. Colts lost. Good for DaBears. Have a great evening.

Nicki

lizws

Hi girls,

Hope everyone has had a nice day. I walked the perimeter of the circle and it was really quiet.

NS, there is a lady who always talks to me at the grocery store. I have no idea who she is but we’ve become friends. I really need to find out her name since she knows mine.

DebC, I am so envious. Continue to enjoy yourself.

Nicki, great on the tm’s. So glad you get the port out. You are doing great on your gifts. I haven’t done a blasted thing yet. I haven’t heard from Bevd is a very long time. I do wonder how a lot of the sisters who came in at the same time as we did are doing.

Carrie, will be thinking of you and Denise. Please let us know how your appointment goes as well as how Denise is when you have a chance. We’ll be in the waiting room with you during both.

Vickie, I think I would rather clean than fight the Christmas crowd on the weekends. I did neither though. I’ll pay for it later I’m sure. Men don’t think do they? I’m glad your brother was safe.

Cheri, you’re done? All wrapped? I used to be done before Thanksgiving. That was the old me. Wow hon, that’s pretty high blood pressure. Are you on a diuretic? My feet and legs swell a lot so I take one. I’d have the doc check those out. I’m not on Tamoxifen so don’t know about that.

Shel, we love you and care for you. You didn’t act childish you were hurt and felt invaded. This too shall pass. Big hugs.

Madison, I hope Jake didn’t eat too much chocolate. Buy that guy a huge chew bone. But for some reason I don’t think it will satisfy him. Hope you found some cookies. I didn’t have any in my wagon.

Sheri, did you get your script yet?

I hate the word cancer!!! A lady I’ve known for over 10 years lost her 2nd battle to lung cancer on Friday ten months after finding out it was back. I have a wonderful picture of her holding the Relay for Life Survivor banner which I’m going to give to the family. She was so happy that day even though she’d just had liver ablation surgery. She was determined to walk the survivor lap and she did.

Okay, I’m going shopping tomorrow. I have to otherwise everyone is going to get IOU’s. LOL

Hugs and Prayers to all,
Liz

newvickie

"Sisters"

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with
her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities
of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her
glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

"Don't forget your Sisters," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of
her glass. "They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you
love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are
still going to need Sisters.

Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. Remember that
'Sisters' means ALL the women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your
other women relatives too. "You'll need other women. Women always do."
What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought.Haven't I just gotten
married? Haven't I just joined the couple world? I'm now a married woman, for
goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be
all I need to make my life worthwhile!' But she listened to her Mother. She kept
contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years
tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom
really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and
their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the main stays of her life.
After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned: THIS
SAYS IT ALL:
Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Jobs come and
go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don't do what they're supposed to do. Hearts
break. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Careers end.
BUT......... Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are
between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself,
the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for
you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at
the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside
you...Or come in and carry you out. Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,
daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces,
cousins, and extended family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began
this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows
that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we
need each other still.

Love you all dear sisters (and you too Designing Diva who sent this to me...you are always in my heart)
Vickie

Mena

Post deleted by Melissa & Tami

Naniam

Good Evening Circle Girls,

I hope everyone had a good weekend and is ready to start a new week. I have come and read several times, caught up and thought I would come back and post but something always seemed to happen. I have enjoyed receiving and reading the cards and the pictures of you guys and your family. You are a beautiful group of women.

I finally finished my cards today and dear ones, if you get a card that you can hardly read your name and address and any other writing - IT"s ME!!! I never had a pretty "girls" handwriting and after I broke my wrist and had to have a pin placed several years ago it is much worse. Just warning you!!!

We brought our Christmas tree home from the mountains this evening. I forgot it was on top of our vehicle when I pulled in the basement. I hadn't gone far and stopped and looked at my husband and said "I don't know if it will clear the garage door" He got out and motioned me on it and about the time the back tires were on the basement floor he yelled STOP. I rolled the window down and said "do I need to back out" He told me no he wasn't sure how much of a tree I would have left. You know those wifely looks we give at about this point? I looked and said "why did you keep telling me to come forward then". He told me he didn't know the black thing (part of the overhead garage openener) was going to catch the tree. It is now off the top of our vehicle and I have no idea how much damage.

Vicki, I am glad that your brother is OK. Mena good to see you posting. Denise, you are taking our love with you and you are going to come home well. It is late and I am tired so I will check in again later. Everyone, I know I have missed many. Know you are in my prayers and I wish each of you a week filled with laughter and lots of love.

Brenda

[Deleted User]

Good Morning Everyone: We are having an official warm up here in the Chicago end of the circle. Already 36 degrees and the suns not out yet. Now mind you, we have 12 inches of snow that will start to melt. So its sure pretty in the circle, but what a messy day this is gonna be driving about. If it sounds like I am whining about the weather, I am! I hate winter and cant wait for Spring to sneak in the back door.

Yesterday I noticed my snap dragons peaking out through the snow. They have survived!! I cant believe it. What a hearty flower for being an annual instead of a perenial!!

Liz: Im sorry about your friend, but that picture will be a great tribute to what a strong person she was. I think her family and friends will cherish it.

Vickie: Thats such a touching story. It is a great description of how I feel about all of you. Theres a song out there too about "sisters." With all of you at my side, I am strong - alone? I wander through life lost and confused about this whole journey I am walking through. Still shaking my head - Like, wow - did this realy happen? My greatest gift this holiday season is having all of you as my friends.

Designing Diva and Peggy: You both have a special place in my heart. Hope things are going well and life is treating you good.

Mena: The thread is gone. An apology was posted by our dearest sister and asked that we delete our comments before the whole thread went poof. I gotta tell ya though, I never want to get on your bad side lol.

Brenda: Ah yes, another Christmas story. Another memory you will laugh at years from now. The day the Christmas tree got stuck in the garage door. I hope the tree is just fine. The one thing I have learned is that no matter what the tree looks like in the beginning, it is always beautiful after it is up and decorated. Oh boy, that reminds me of the "Peanuts Christmas Story." We will get our tree Wednesday.

Shel: I wrote something before your thread was deleted. I wanted to repeat it here. We come here to support each other. And of course we only tell our side of the story. Someone played with your mind again. And whats worse, now Im afraid to talk to you in my usual manner. Your privacy has been invaded. I cant be spontaneous any longer with my comments to you. Have to worry about that lurker reading what we say. Childish? Nope, never. He should have never come here to read your posts. Your fantasy world, your support system - it was violated. You are one strong cookie - so please bounce back, take a long look at yourself in the mirror and see what a beautiful person you are.

Oh I am so missing our friends who are on vacation. Sherloc, Susan, DebC. And many others. Cant wait until you come back.

Carrie: Good luck at the surgeons appt today. Denise, we are standing right beside you.

Time to go. Its Monday and no time to casually relax on the computer. Things to do, places to go, people to see. Hope you all have a wonderful day.

Amy: How is that baby goat doing?

Nicki

Mena

Oh, Nickie...my bark is much worse than my bite...I'm glad the thread is gone and as I told Cheri, it all happened that way for a reason...I never saw it and it's a good thing! None of my business...

Shel...you hang on...I know you love Mike and we all just want you to be happy and I really hate to see you hurt...

You girls that have all your Christmas stuff done...into the river with you! I'm taking everything you've baked, bought, wrapped and calling it a Holiday. I haven't done a blasted thing except decorate the outside of my house...I still can't get the kids to agree to a pre-lit fake tree...best invention since the disposable diaper, and I can't have one because my kids want to "smell" a real one. HA! Just imagine my retorts to this...

I'm seriously thinking of heading out for some gifts, but serious thinking and actually doing are so far apart...

OK, I'm making a nice cup of tea (or coffee) for Mike so I can show him the other side of me...I'm gonna show him some Circle love and see if that approach doesn't work...

Hey, where is Peggy? Anybody hear from her lately?

Carrie, please take care and let us know what's going on with you and Denise. I still pray for the two of you all the time and think of you both daily...Mena...xo

purplemb

OK wow glad my boss is gone it took about an hour to catch up...
CY warm fuzzies coming as fast as I can ,,,I hope you are feeling better soon
Liz, walking is great so keep it up...every little bit helps...
OK cant touch base with everyone but
Grand daughter & I made way too many cookies, so mena I ;ll send you some...lol...she came back Sat and we made even more...got to love the way a 3 yr old frosts cookies...had to lick the knife every cookie...lol...went thru lots of silver ware...
well will need to vent later but must get back to work...stocking up the fire...and putting lots of logs on...maybe even getting some cocao woth marshmallows...
take care be back soon...
MB

[Deleted User]

Good morning. Hope this finds everyone feeling strong today. My bp is still up this morning 155/105. I think it might be my Lyrica that I take for Neuropathy. I didn't take it today to see. I started it about the same time as my tamox. I apprecialte the input & advice from Nicki & Liz. If this doesn't bring it down I'll call my dr.

Nicki, good luck traveling through the slush today. Hope you were able to finish up your presents over the week-end.

Liz, I have my gifts done because I shopped the internet or had my dd do it for me and she's wrapped everything, even her own!

Vicki, beautiful writing about sisters. I actually have 5 real sisters,all older, and we're close. Plus, I have my sisters on here now,too.

Mena, you're just a softy at heart! But I sure wouldn't want to be on the bad side of you or NS! lol

Best Wishes going out to all who are awaiting test results and also to those who just feel sad.

Cheri

Mena

Uh...I don't really have a bad side? Well, unless you include the left side...you know, the "affected" side...and I want NS on my team...

I've been officially spanked...and that's ok.

I still hate a cheatin' husband...Mena...xo

cmb35

Hi Ladies!

Rough night for me last night, brain wouldn't shut off, and went down that dark scary path - could almost feel cancer cells running amok throughout my body. Feeling a little better today, but exhausted as I had very little sleep.

The strange thing is, I had a great day yesterday. My fiance and I went to a breakfast place that I love, and then we decided to do some Christmas shopping. Got a spot right away at the mall, mall wasn't really too crowded, lucked out finding some great gifts for his family, and then picked up the tree on the way home. Just a really nice day you know? So I don't know what happened when I went to bed, went from a nice, "normal" day to freaking out that I have full blown mets throughout my entire body and won't make it another year. (Except for an ache in my hip that I've had for months, which comes and goes, which of course worries me, but my onc and I both decided I didn't need to another bone scan right now - had one in June - I don't really have any reason to believe I have mets.)

Anyway, I so out of touch with what's happening, it's really amazing how much we communicate with each other, and if you miss a day or two, you can really get out of the loop!

I hope everyone is well, safe, warm and dry. Going to take a nap!!

Mena

Colleen...busy brain going to fugly places last night? Ah...so sorry...

Really...I know having someone like me around probably scares you because I'm a constant reminder that mets can happen, but they don't happen to the majority and if you saw me, you'd never know I was sick (well, if I had makeup on)...

I know all too well about busy brains and fugly places...what we literally have to do is talk ourselves out of the dark and into the light...out of the negative and into the positive...tell yourself out loud, "Shut up with the stupid thoughts; I am healthy; I am happy; I am in no imminent danger; I will breathe in healing and breath out cancer"...

This may sound goofy...but I tell you it works if you do it enough...I'm not saying you should ignore aches and pains...no way...if they are persistent, be persistent about getting them checked out.

I'm really sorry you had a crummy night...I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share openly about it. Now everytime one of those nasty thoughts comes into your head, tell yourself the opposite and just try to let your body, mind and soul accept it. Form a mental image of the Wagon Circle, a nice warm fire, breathe and relax...

I hope you have a calmer night tonight...Mena...xo

(PS I tried to pm you...did you know you're not set up to accept private messages?)

cmb35

Mena!!

I'm so glad my computer freaked out and froze as I was trying to shut down my e-mail. (Have given up on what's wrong with e-mail, and decided to take a quick peek here again before taking my nap!)

I am so computer illiterate it's pathetic. I don't know how I made myself unable to accept PMs, but I think I just changed it back. That is SO funny, cause I did get one once (from Lilia about the quilts) and I was so excited because it was my first PM! (It doesn't take much to excite me LOL) So DebC sent me one so that I could have two. I always wondered why if I tried to send one, no one ever responded and it never showed up in my Sent PMs - duh!

Thank you so much for taking the time to encourage me, especially since I know that despite your great news (again, yippee!) you've been having a tough time lately. I think I came back to the boards while you were not posting much (October-ish) Anyway, I know you're right, and that is exactly what I try to do. A long time ago Marin (FitChik) gave me some ideas for positive mental imagery while I was doing rads. And when I get down or scared, I really do try to force myself to stop telling myself the bad stuff, but to tell myself the good stuff instead. I have these little chants that I do, like, "you are well, the cancer is gone, it will never come back, and if it does come back, you will take care of it just like you did the first time." (LOL even my positive chants have a back-up plan in them! Yours is better!) I don't know what happened to me last night. I just really freaked out.

Anyway, thank you so much for the positive thoughts AND the kick in the butt! That's usually my fiance's job, but it's different with him, he's just totally intolerant of any negative thinking, and although he means to comfort me, he ususally just makes me feel like I'm weak for thinking that way. So of course, I don't tend to tell him when I'm feeling that way. Whereas you guys get it, (I'm sorry to say - I wish that none of us here "got it"), you don't make me feel weak for it, but say "OK, stop it!" in just the right way!

Thank you again, I honestly have a smile on my face, and think I might actually be ABLE to take a quick nap now. Well, it's a sort of a smiling through my tears kind of smiile, but cause the support that I recieve from this place makes me cry sometimes, but in a good way.

Much love Mena!

SheriH

Well, the play is a "go". I got my script yesterday, and now I'm going to have to learn my lines. I don't actually have as many as I thought I would, but that's ok. I'm working up to it slowly.

Don't know what I missed, Mena, but it must have been a doozy. I love the way you bounce back, in everything.

It was a warm day today here. One of my students even said it felt like spring. Strange after the freezing day we had on Friday. I'm still going to drink hot chocolate, though.

I'm still working on my positive attitude, but it's been slipping a little the last couple of days. I'm trying really hard not to be the Grinch.

[Deleted User]

Good Evening Everyone: Well, my beautiful new car is ugly and dirty. It was certainly a messy day. Really needed my windshield washer fluid I will tell you that. But it was warmer outside and that I enjoyed.

cheri: Although I do the same thing, now is not the time to be your own nurse or doctor. BP is too high and your feet are swollen. So at least make sure you stay in touch with you doctor about all of this stuff. I have removed your salt shaker from your tent.

Collen and Mena: (Oh a double message ). The thing I like about the circle is that we all have breast cancer and all stages of it. And we try to support each other no matter what the concern. There is so much darn fear that goes with this journey. Besides talking about bc, we also talk about so many different things. Life in general. Xanax is my friend when I have nasty thoughts.

So I wnet out and bought a santa ornament. Came home and put a blind fold on him. That one is for Shel. Its a hidden joke but it has meaning!!

Sheri: So when does the play actually have its first performance?

Carrie and Denise: Well its here. No more waiting. I moved both of you to the middle of the circle. Have beautiful lit candles all around your wagon. So many of our sisters and circle ladies are walking by and giving you both the thumbs up. Distorted Humor is sleeping now, as he knows he needs to get an early start to get to Cleveland. And Mazer the Tazer is following right behind. Thinks she can sneak out while our dear Amy is busy feeding her new baby goat every 2 hours. Hope that baby is still hanging in there. Anyways - you are in my mind and my heart. Im sending special prayers your way.

Robin: Just wondering how you are doing too girl.

Hope you all have a wonderful evening.

Nicki

Mena

Sherndon...you're going to memorize lines? Holy mama...I'm happy when I can spit out my social security number without hesitation...good for you! Congrats!...Mena...xo

lizws

Evening girls,

Okay, I am the official Bah-Humbug! I attempted shopping today. People are just plain crazy and rude. I’m going to attempt to go out of town on Wednesday. If that doesn’t work, I’ll do shopping via Amazon.com. LOL

Thank you all for your opinions on the picture for my friend’s family. I went to the funeral home this morning. She looked so peaceful and pain free.

MB, I’m walking girl! If the back pain doesn’t go away by Thursday, I’m calling to whine to my oncologist for a bone scan. Actually, I’ve never had any scans come to think of it.

Cheri, I know it’s easy to be our own nurse/doctor after all we’ve been through. Your BP is really scary and with the feet swelling I really think you need to call the doc. I know we nag here also. Just because we care though.

Mena, so glad to see you back. I love your spunk and attitude. Want to go shopping with me? LOL

Colleen hugs hon. I have nights like that and sometimes days like that. I got so bad awhile back that I ended up on Ativan twice a day. Now I try to do as Mena says and talk myself out of them. I agree that the support here is amazing. I couldn’t do this without all of you guys.

Sheri, good for you! I can’t memorize or remember anything. I would need q-cards for sure.

Nicki, sorry your new car is dirty. What color is it? I’m glad it was warmer though. It was in the upper 60’s here today. Supposed to be nice all week they say.

Robin, I hope you’re recovering and taking care of you. Miss you.

Carrie, Denise thinking of you.

Peggy, yoo-hoo I’m hoping all is still well with you.

Donna, did you get moved?

I know I’ve missed many but think I’ll get some hot chocolate and sit on my large fanny and do nothing. I have a PCP appointment at 8:30 and a dentist appointment at 1:30 tomorrow. UGH

Hugs and Prayers to all,
Liz

[Deleted User]

Hi girls, hope all had a good day. I just lost my post so I have to try to remember what I wrote, I threw away my notes. My memory isn't as good as Sheri's. I was just whining on the first post anyway.

Nicki & Liz, thanks for the nagging. I just took my bp and it was 157/99 so it was down just a dab. I don't eat much salt. I don't know what's wrong with me. I even took a nap today and I very rarely do that. The swelling in my feet have got me kinda worried. It's gotten much worse in my bad one. Red & shiny. I'll call a dr. tomorrow (Lord knows, I have enough to choose from)

Sheri, congrats on getting your script today. You'll be great in it.

Colleen, sorry you had a bad night. I have those sometimes, too. I call mine "popcorn brain". All these weird off the wall thoughts just popping around in my head. (Course I've never really been quite right anyway) Maybe you can get some rest tonight.

Mena, little rap across the knuckles? tee hee

Sorry for leaving some of you out but my thoughts are with you all. This is a wonderful place.

Oh yeah, Shel, where are you? I haven't seen anything from you today & I miss you.

Take Care,
Cheri M.

sue4unj

I figured you could all use a laugh. This is my granddaughter, Madison, who will be 2 on Friday. Do you think maybe she thought this was finger paint?

nosurrender

Hello girls,
My back is really bad so I can't sit up too long at the computer to respond to everyone individually like I usually do... but you got me smiling!

I have news that our dear Carrie will need to have surgery next Tuesday on her mass. This sweet girl who has been an angel here for all of us now has to go through this. Let's all keep her in our thoughts and prayers... especially because tomorrow at 6:45 our dear Denise, her sister, undergoes brain surgery for her anyuerisms...
Circle Girls, please pray for Denise and Carrie. Please help them through this rough time.
I will post as soon as I know anything.

I just love getting your cards, I cannot tell you. This Circle is the greatest place in the world!

Love you girls...
tomorrow I should be able to move around a bit better... I hope!!!

nosurrender

I shop that is great! I think she is trying to put on green makeup to look like Shrek!

sue4unj

Here's the real mess. My DIL, then Ava - 9 months, Madison, Hannah - 3 1/2 and Alex - 12.

sue4unj

NS - what's wrong with your back? I am having chronic pain in my lower back that goes down my left leg. I've had a bone scan, MRI, EMG and whatever other initials you can imagine and I have all kinds of problems that have no real cure. What do you do for the pain???
Mena - I'm so glad you're back and in good (?) spirits. We need to talk about the weekend of 1/13 - going to the apt in NYC with Tgirl.
BTW, I love getting all the Christmas cards and notes. It really is special and I do love you girls even though I don't post too often.
One of the reasons is that my neighbor was diagnosed with uterine and breast cancer about 6 months ago and today they got hospice in. Having lost my best friend to bc in July this is another 'i can't deal . . .'
Love, Sue

Sige

Hello to all my friends!!

I have been receiving my Christmas cards...I am a like a little kid with new toys! I didn't realize how much fun it was to receive cards...I don't usually send them (only sent them to my bc friends) though, so that would be why I don't ever get them.

(((Shel))) Seems to be a little bit of drama around the site lately...hope all is okay in your world (you rock, no matter what happens)

(((Carrie & Denise))) Jeez I go away and come back and everything is changing! Much love & healing energy to both of you!

(((Deb))) You go girl!!!

(((Nicki))) I just love reading your posts….they are so peaceful to me. What are you making with the plastic canvas?? You are also firmly entrenched in my heart…big hugs to you.

(((Mena))) Nice to see you back you feisty thing!!!

(((Vicki))) I LOVE that piece…I have it saved on my computer from awhile ago…it’s so true! Thanks for reminding me.

(((Sheri))) Break a leg! You’re so brave…I couldn’t stand up in front of a bunch of people like that!

(((All I missed))) I don’t have the time to mention every single one of you, although every post I read I give a mental hug to the writer!

We are decorating our tree tonight…the boy moved out and I survived! I think it’s going to be a good thing for him (and for me). Thanks for all the kind words.

Hugs to all,
Peggy

nosurrender

hi Peggy! Great to see you!

Sue I love your family photos!

As for my back, I had some major problems with it a little over five years ago. Was told I needed immediate surgery. I had three disks that needed to be operated on, stenosis of the spine and a bunch of other stuff done. Something went wrong in the OR and my spine got more damaged than when I went into the hospital. In fact, I couldn't walk without a walker.
I have what is known as an unstable spine and have a lot of nerve damage. Sometimes I can't feel my leg at all.

I was supposed to get the corrective surgery but right before I met with the new surgeon I had a mammogram and wound up seeing a breast surgeon instead. They found my BC six months after my back surgery.

Needless to say I never got the corrective surgery! I usually have pain every day but i just deal with it. I am allergic to narcotics so I take Anaprox or tylenol. but sometimes, like today, it is totally gone. I call it a back attack. My leg is bad and I can't sit for more than a few minutes at a time.

I am so sorry to hear about your back. If I had it to do all over again I never would have had the first surgery and would have gotten other opinions. And if I did have another surgery it would be by a neurosurgeon not an orthopod to save the nerves.

But I won't put myself through that again. Spinal surgery with no pain killers is a killer!

i hope your back is better!!!
Time for me to lie down again!

xo,g