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TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS
Comments
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Oh Nicki, I hope you don't get that stomach virus! Ugh
.Yeah, my DH loved the Beatles. McCartney wasn't hard to look at either.
Laura - It's time to hold your head up and know that you've done all you can. Don't call the OW. You are better than that. At this point I'd say that you deserve so much better than Ray. He just treats you like crap.
NS - Thanks for the comment about me and DH! He is my honey!
Shirley - Still a headache?? Have you seen your doc? I used to get a lot of headaches, so I really feel for you.
Tracy - I have been sitting here at work cracking up at your penguins! I called my boss over to see the "Ray" penguin. He loved it!
Karen - I am sure my carpal tunnel came from Arimidex. I had the EMG done. Also, my thumbs got stuck straight from the chemo and the Arimidex and I had to have them operated on. I looked like a permanent "Fonzie"
You guys have had too much bad winter in Denver!!
Madison - Hope your onc appt. went well. That's always a stressful thing.
Vicki - 3.00 a gal.??? You need to drop a bomb on Suburban. I think you should just keep your lights up and turned on until next Christmas. Falalalala!!!!
Well, I didn't get sick after my sore throat episode. Woke up the next morning just fine. I'm going to make an appt. with my PS to address my lop-sided boobs. I did find bras that make me look better in clothes, but one has really gotten hard and bigger (hmmmm.. that sounds like something else entirely)
Well, as usual, I'm at work and have to go. Big hugs to anyone I missed!!!0 -
Oh yeah, Karen, I have mild LE and I had hand surgery. Everything turned out fine. I have had more problems from my breast revisions (not bad though). Don't worry!
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I am getting ready for dinner and I know tomorrow is going to be busy for me. Unless work lets up some, I may not get to posting much (well...maybe in between entering reports).
I know I have said countless times that I am adding a name to our prayer of healing to be said at Friday night services at synagogue. I have my own list in addition to the congregational list and it includes all of the people I have met here at BCO and others I know who are in need.
it is called the mi'shebeirach prayer and the liturgy is beautiful as well. The second verse has a line that translates to "a full healing" and that is what I pray for all of us. Just know that if anyone is hurting or feeling bad or just unhappy for whatever reason, i am thinking of you and saying this every Friday night for you.
Mi Shebeirach
(Version of the traditional prayer for healing. The opening line can be translated as "May the One who blessed our fathers, the Source of Blessing for our mothers." In the second verse, "r'fuah sh'leima" means "a full healing.")
Mi Shebeirach avoteinu, M'kor hab'rachah l'imoteinu.
May the Source of Strength, Who blessed the ones before us,
Help us find the courage, to make our lives a blessing,
And let us say - Amen.
Mi Shebeirach imoteinu, M'kor hab'rachah la'avoteinu.
Bless those in need of healing, with r'fuah sh'leima.
The renewal of body, the renewal of spirit.
And let us say - Amen.
(Words and music by Debbie Friedman)
Love and hugs,
Beth0 -
Biker---I wanted to post and thank you for purtyin' up the circle with the picture you posted---but my thumb got stuck (trigger finger). Hey CGs---Jan's hubby is a hottie. And she looks pretty smashing too!
Beth---thanks for posting the prayer. When my kids were in confirmation classes part of their "assignments" were to go to services in different worship traditions. We went to temple during Purim and the one abiding memory I have of those services was how very beautiful and moving the prayers were.
OK---thumb is shot. On a scale of bad stuff it's about a 2---but man, what a da** nuisance. Can't even get doorknobs open with that hand!
Jeannie0 -
Evening ladies
Ok...got my thumb out of my mouth and acting my age...no wait a minute...I refuse to act my age...I'm acting 25, hows that?
Been a rough day at work and having issues with my right arm. It felt achey last night so I wore my compression sleeve to bed and woke up with a huge swollen hand! Freaked me out pretty good...numb and tingling and achey. Crap. I posted a LE question in the LE thread and Binney (I think that's how it's spelled) answered back and helped a great deal. Hope to get an appointment tomorrow either at the local hospital or our own physical therapy people at work. The swelling is down and my arm feels better tonight I just don't know if I can deal with one more thing. I DON'T want LE!
Yup...gonna knock Suburban out of business if I have my way...they actually charged me 3.03 a gallon. I am going to paint a sign this weekend that says BOYCOTT SUBURBAN...CALL ME FOR DETAILS and list my phone number. I am making it huge and putting it in front of my garage for all to see...LOL. I faxed my paperwork today so I hope to hear something tomorrow.
Jeannie...good to see you but what in the world did you do to your thumb...boy are we a pair!
I'm eating dinner with Nicki...sounds great.
Cheri...we had some confused geese at work yesterday...it has been so warm here I don't think they know where to go. The temperature has dropped drastically though...darn.
Jan...I just might leave my lights up till next Christmas...there is a country song about that somewhere but can't remember it..."redneck girl" maybe.
NS...between Jake and the deranged squirrels we need to bring out the big guns.
Gotta go...really tired and don't want to overdo my hand or arm and see if this new problem resolves itself.
Love you all
Vickie0 -
Remember Vickie, that only an LE therapist knows how to do the proper technique! many girls have gotten into trouble going to non le people.
I sent you the massage technique. It is the classic LE massage and really helps me alot.0 -
Laura B,
I have been reading your posts since you came to the circle. I feel bad for you, you have survived the beast, been a wonderful mother to your little girl and loving wife to this a%^*&%$!! I have always said, the two things I could not/would not tolerate are 1) abuse of any kind and 2) infidelity. You are trying so hard not to hurt his feelings, making excuses for him, don't blame the other woman, he is the married man screwing around on his wife. Kick his sorry ass to the curb and do it as soon as possible. Regain your self esteem and move on!! You have survived breast cancer and you will survive this. You deserve so much better than settling for a man who would do this to you.
Sorry to be so blunt but boy this stuff pisses me off.
Best wishes, Tina0 -
Vickie--
I didn't do anything to my thumb--Arimidex did! Trigger finger in your thumb renders it pretty useless as an opposable appendage.
My onc gave me a scrip for Femara to see if that would fix it but I got one of those el mysterioso answering machine messages from my RX service today saying they switched me to something else (cheaper, I'm sure) and not to call them until I received it. If they put me back on Arimidex I will be p*****. I've had this almost a month and the RX probably won't be here for another two weeks and this sucker hurts (darn it----). Tired of typing with my elbows!
Jeannie0 -
Quote:
Laura B,
I have been reading your posts since you came to the circle. I feel bad for you, you have survived the beast, been a wonderful mother to your little girl and loving wife to this a%^*&%$!! I have always said, the two things I could not/would not tolerate are 1) abuse of any kind and 2) infidelity. You are trying so hard not to hurt his feelings, making excuses for him, don't blame the other woman, he is the married man screwing around on his wife. Kick his sorry ass to the curb and do it as soon as possible. Regain your self esteem and move on!! You have survived breast cancer and you will survive this. You deserve so much better than settling for a man who would do this to you.
Sorry to be so blunt but boy this stuff pisses me off.
Best wishes, Tina
Yeah! What she said!!!0 -
Good evening Circle girls and all others reading through the posts. Hope all had a good day.
Nicki, isn't being home and in your jammies a wonderful thing?? Most all my days are spent that way. Hey and ya know, tomorrow really is TGIF! It's the little things in life.
Jeannie, sorry you're having such a bad side effect maybe when you finally get the new meds you'll feel all better.
Ginney, where are you? You haven't posted for awhile.
NS, you asked about my non-smoking. Several of you have. I posted a comment on the smoking thread but I'm sure most of you all didn't notice it so I'll tell you here. I had sooo much support it was incredible! But I made a mistake. While I was trying to get others to join me in quitting (on the other thread) I set myself up for a fall. I loved the support but I was too much in the spotlight and too many watching to see if I made it. Or didn't make it. So I put myself under alot of stress trying so hard to live up to others hopes that I could do it. Then the afternoon of the 5th day when I had those 2 puffs I felt sooo awful to have to admit it. But I needed to be honest with everyone. My dh made it 6 days & then when he came home over the week-end we both fell off the wagon. We climbed back up on it but I'm keeping it personal this time. I don't want to let anyone down and discourage those smokers wanting to quit in case I have another slip. When I finally reach the point where I feel safe enough then you can be sure I will be posting it!!!
This circle is the highlight of my day. I love coming here & reading about all my friends day and talking about mine. I feel safe here and cared about. There's so much kindness. I also love it when we're silly. You Circle girls have been good to me & I appreciate each of you. OK. Nuf of the mushy stuff...Mena will think I've gone soft & I can't let her think that.
BTW, Mena, where are you? Again.
To those I didn't mention by name hope you all have a good evening.
((HUGS))
Cheri0 -
Beth,
A beautiful prayer. I miss the days when we would go to temple with my in-laws on Friday nite. Unfortunately my DH isn't into religion - and I don't want to be the goy in the crowd.
Anyway - beautiful.
Tracey - I LOVE THE PENGUINS. You can post them anytime.
Laura, we are all with you and hope you can get beyond the AH (as....h..le) that calls himeself your husband.
Cheri, where are you?
Jeannette0 -
Jeannette, just look up honey. I'm right above you!
Cheri0 -
Cheri, I can certainly understand that! You really WERE under a microscope! I have to admit that is why I don't like to post anything more about all the crap going on with me medically until I have a concrete answer I can give everyone.
I know that smoking is very very hard to do. And you have to do it for yourself and not worry about anything else.
In the meantime, post about everything else!!!
I am wondering where Ginney is too?
And Cookie and how is Kristin doing with her tx???
Well I forgot to tell you girls about the REALLY STUPID THING i did today!
you UK and Canadian girls will probably laugh-
I needed windshield wiper fluid in my Mini. First, it took me about an hour to find out how to open the HOOD- it wasn't in any of the normal places. I resorted to getting the owner's manual to get a clue.
I looked under H for HOOD. NO HOOD LISTING.
Mini is Brittish so I had forgotten I should have looked under B for BONNETT!
I get the BONNET open and I see a plastic empty thing that has a picture of a windshield on it with a red line through it. So I think- red line through the windshield means that this is where you put the fluid when you run out.
not exactly
I poured the bottle in and started the car and gave the squirters a little push and nothing comes out. NO WHERE. NO WINDSHIELD WIPER FLUID ANYPLACE!
So I reluctantly returned to the owner's manual... I do not like to follow directions if you haven't picked up on that yet!
Turns out I put the washer fluid IN THE ANTI-FREEZE EXPANSION TANK!
I don't know what that is but it can't be a good place for washer fluid!
Quick thinking! I get a turkey baster and siphon out all the fluid... I hope.
Then I have my neighbor get me antifreeze to refill it. He said- pour it right in! So I did. Then I went out. I came back and looked at the antifreeze bottle. It said I MUST DILUTE IT 50/50 with WATER!
So into the garbage I go to get the now defunct turkey baster and siphon out half and pour in water.
I am praying I didn't kill my Cooper. He is new and I love him!!!0 -
Wow NS..what a day!! I do have to say you are a quick thinker!! Hope it works...
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Good Evening All,
Onc visit went okay. I am taking part in a clinical trial so it was the 6 month mark on the meds. We talked, did blood work, blood pressure a little high, he adjusted some other meds and sent me on my way until early April, when we start the mammo, tests, etc. over again. They will do a lung x-ray in April because I was a smoker (quit 5/5/06) and the radiation clipped a lung. I see rad onc on 22nd. I know everyone feels the same way I do with these anniversary visits nervous.
Nicki, take care you dont get that stomach virus. YULK. We have that upper respiratory infection going around this area also. Be careful.
NS, why do we also have to feed, burp, pamper our vehicles I hope all is okay. Can we all say .we hate car trouble.
LauraB, I hope you find the right answer for you and your daughter.
Jeannie, Arimidex can cause joint aches. Have you unraveled the mystery of the message? I tried to refill an RX last month and it took a month for the insurance company to approve the refill, which meant that by the time they approved the refill, the refill date had expired. Of course, it was for my sleeping pills, which means I was mad at the insurance company which kept me awake, but I couldnt take the sleeping pill because the insurance company didnt approve the re-fill in time, so you get mad and the cycle CONTINUES . GRRRRRRR.
Cheri, you will do what YOU need to do at this time. Remember, there is only support, love and HUGS allowed here (except for MENA and a few others who are really GOOD at fussing).
Vickie, my partner in crime, no-no-no you have to feel better!!! Please get someone to help you .you gonna need to be well to battle SUBURBAN.
Karen, did you see the neurologist and have the EMG test? I hear that you are going to get another snow storm .please be careful.
Amy, next time you get a flock, fleet, herd, group of animals, can we have a naming contest?
Beth, Margaret, Brenda, DebC, Joyce, Shirley, Lisa, Tracey, MENA, Hugs to you and everyone I missed. I may just take a sleeping pill tonight (yep, got a refill take that INSURANCE COMPANY) ..
Madison0 -
Cheri, hugs to you hon. Been there done that.
NS, you have a cooper. Me too. Love my little beep beep. Took forever to find that hood release. What a dumb place for it. I'll say a prayer for him tonight.
Hi socal
LIZ....where are you? how did your appt go?
I am sooooo tired. But almost done. One more day and it should be done.
I'll see you all tomorrow.0 -
Thanks girls.
Madison, so happy to hear about your onc visit going well.
((HUGS))
Cheri0 -
Greetings CG's,
I saw the neurologist today for the EMG test. The doc was really nice, but chatty - he talked (made conversation) with me the whole hour that the test took. I am wondering if he did it to keep me distracted from the pain/discomfort of the test. Well the verdit - severe CT in right hand and moderate in left. Neurologist does not think there is any neuropathy. He thinks all the tingling is CT. He will have the report to my docs (hand doc, PCP and onc tomorrow or monday and he is also sending me a copy. He gave me numbers but don't know what they mean (right hand 421, left 392) No plan of action yet. I see the hand doc on Tuesday afternoon. Then I go to my gyn for my annual check up. He is the new gyn that did my ooph in Oct, this will be the first annual with him - a little nervous about it.
The deep freeze has started in Denver. It was in the 40's mid morning and in the 20's by the time I left work. Going into single digits over the weekend and below zero at night. Forecast calls for more snow - an article in the paper said the predictions ranged from 3 to 12 inches - depending on the TV station or other weather source!.
Shirley and NS - my dh would be so jealous. The mini is his dream car. He would really love to have a restored old one - but he would take a new one if given to him. I drive a Surburban - could you imagine the two cars next to each other in the garage? NS - I hope that cooper is just fine and dandy after all her fluid mix ups.
Cheri - you go girl - doing it on your own- just tell us when you are ready.
JAn - the fonz!!! I used to always watch Happy Days. I do like Henry Winkler. Thanks for the words of encouragement about LE.
NS - also thanks for your words of encouragement about LE. I still have stage 2 recon to go through on 3/23.
Beth - I take ibuprofen, but go easy on it due to "tummy" problems since chemo. The trouble is, that it really doesn't help with the pain. I haven't tried Aleve as it is even harder on the stomach.
Shirley - Is that you who was anonymous? I plan to ask the onc when I see him on the 25th about switching the AI's or even quitting it. I need to find out how much it increases my survival rate.
Laura - I'm so sorry that Ray continues to hurt you so much. Please be sure to take care of yourself.
Margaret - talked to dh this afternoon and he said the weather was gorgeous in San Fran.
Is the Avitar the pic with people's name? How do you post that? I still need to post pic on the pic thread, but I am not good with getting pics off the digital camera on the computer. I have all mine printed at the grocery store and generally don't email people pic.
Miriam got her report card today for 2nd grading period. She wants me to look at it with her, so need to go.
To everyone I left out, I'm thinking of each and everyone. Hope everybody has a good friday and stays warm and dry. NOt sure if I will be here the next couple days - my shabbat starts early and saturday night I am leaving as soon as shabat is over to go visit dd for two days. Hopefully, I can visit here while I'm with her. Otherwise it will be Tuesday before i am back.0 -
Cheri,
you must have posted while I was typing! I swear your post wasn't there when I started. And I can understand that you want to do the cig thing low key. Just know that you have a cheering squad - that is also very understanding about slips.
NS - I have done the same thing with washer fluid. You would think that they could make the icons more descriptive. Bonnet indeed!
Karen, as we warm up here, just north of you, I promise to blow some hot air your way. You have certainly been bombarded with snow, and now the cold. Let's hear it for winter.
Am throwing a log on the fire, and cuddling down with a bit of hot tea. I keep a big pot in my tea cozy so anyone who comes along can have a cuppa.
For those off to bed - pleasant dreams.
Jeannette0 -
go cheri go!!!!
go go go!!!!
its all good girl!! you do what you need to do!
xxxx
tracey0 -
Hi everyone...I see lots of us have headaches...mine started about 6 hours ago...and lo and behold we are expecting yet another weather change and rain. I had read a while back that a change in barometric pressure can bring on killer headaches that go on for days...I've been monitoring how mine go with the weather, and they do seem to correlate.
Anyway...
Laura, Laura, Laura...Look in the mirror. Do you see an idiot? You're a bright, beautiful, vibrant woman begging a low-life to stay with you. Step away from the loser.
Turn around three times and look back in the mirror. Put post-its all over it: "I deserve better." "He's a loser." "He's using me." "I can do this." "I am not alone." "If Mena could do it, so can I."
Honey, I know it's scary...you're like the abused child that still clings to his Mommy...the familiar is always less frightening than the unknown. All the girls that have been through this are giving you blunt but sound advice.
Frankly, I did call the OW. I gave her my blessing...wished them well...that felt good...
Madison...damn, I was right again! So happy your visit went well.
Puppy...So you do really have a dog named Jake! And he's a wiseguy, too...You've been through a lot in the last couple weeks, and just recently were surrounded by nothing but funerals. Cut yourself a break, honey.
OK, got the decorations down from outside. Put up the Valentine's decor...yes...it's a federal holiday for me...no Valentine this year but something freaky happened the day I was born, so I celebrate for a good month.
Silvergirl...Pardon my naivete, but what exactly is Trigger Finger? Sounds dangerous. I mean...it must get its name from somewhere...and "trigger" isn't exactly comforting. It must suck. I'm sorry you're plagued by this.
Oh, Welcome Shopmama...you've been through the ringer, so I do hope you find some comfort and camaraderie here. I've been praying for you for quite a while, hoping your grief would not consume you, as I know it can.
Chemo and Herceptin tomorrow...I'm bringing "The Breakup" to watch since it's such a long infusion...has anyone seen it? Is it worth the trouble?
I'm off to look around...see what's up with everyone...track down that witty tart from Buffalo, MO...
Take care chiquitas...Mena...xo0 -
I am sooo awake. I went to bed early (after CSI even though it was a rerun) since I have to dh to work by 6 AM which means getting up at 4:45 AM. But I got up to go to the bathroom. I have to walk past ds's room and I saw him sleeping. I had a sudden panic attack like I have never had before. I thought, what if I don't make it. Am I really doing all I can to prevent bc from invading? I want ot see him graduate in 5 years. I want to see my neice's first ballet recital next year. I am now wide awake again for the umpteenth time.
Does anyone ever get like this? i try not to vent about this. I don't want ot bring anyone down with me. But it has been on my mind and I hope I am not the only who feels like they are going a little crazy with worry.
I will try to go back to sleep since I only have 4 hours left till wake up time! I do not have roosters like Deb, so I have to rely on the alarm, my cat who nudges me because the real alarm went off and it bothers her ears.
Thanks for listening.
Love and hugs,
Beth0 -
Beth, I'm up too. I have spells I don't sleep for a week or two since I had to stop hormones.
Beth, don't get yourself so worked up. You haven't been diagnosed with breast cancer - you have decided that you are going to have a bil. mastectomy because you carry a gene. There is no reason to think that you would not be here to see your son graduate. Those are the kinds of things I thought about when I was diagnosed - don't look for trouble - it isn't here yet. You are going to have the bil. mast so are they going to also put you on meds to stop your periods or remove your ovaries? Much older than you when I found I had BC, so gene testing for me was never an issue and had also had a hysterectomy. If you are still up and see this, go back to bed and think about your son graduating and getting married. Only worry if you hear the words "you have breast cancer" before you have your surgery - believe me life is to short to worry about not being around due to BC when you haven't been diagnosed.
Mena, you got your Christmas decorations down? Want to make a trip south and help me. Vicki you didn't take yours down did you? Please, don't tell me I am the only one with them still up.
NS, had to laugh that you tried to open the hood and then had to read as I would not begin to know how to open the hood of any vehicle; nor change a tire. I do hope your Cooper is A-OK. My oldest grandson loves Coopers - they are his favorite.
I currently do not own any animal. WE have had cats, Frick and Frat, dogs and I even owned a goat one time too. Got that darn goat to eat the weeds around here but it had been grain fed (sweet feed too) and never ate one weed. I came in one night and the goat was gone. We turned on spotlights, car lights, used flash lights and calling that darn goat - nary a sound. Now I am terrified of snakes and I live in the woods so for me to go through the woods in the dark in the heat of the summer is BIG time news. Also there is a river (small one) about 500 feet from our house and it is very steep to the river. I just knew something terrible had happened. I was in tears!!! Finally I started up the walk to the steps and back porch - guess who was standing on the porch, watching me!!! I don't have the goat anymore; it went to a home where there were children who loved it and it even rode in the front seat with them home!!!!!!
Mena, will be thinking of you tomorrow.
Puppy, did you post? Missed it. You OK?
Nicki, hope you are OK.
I know I am not covering everyone as I didn't take notes. Can't sleep but that doesn't mean my brain is totally functional either at this hour.
Rest well. Brenda0 -
Brenda,
Guess it is the lack of hormones since I am off estrogen altogether. I had an ooph almost 5 years ago. So no more ovaries to worry about. I am considred menopausal.
I think the worry I have been having is that I am fast approaching the age that my dad and his mother were when they were dx with bc. I know I shouldn't worry but it is easier said than done.
On a lighter note, Vickie, Mena and Brenda, we still have our decorations up inside and out except for the family room. Our "dedication to Santa" powder room is still full of santas and outside still lights up every night at 5:30 PM, god bless my dh and his timers. It is going to rain again this weekend so it may not come down this week either. Traditionally, they go up afte Thanksgiving and down at little Christmas. Well, both were broken this year. It may be Valentine's before they come down at this rate!
NS, my ss is a mechanic and he takes care of our cars. My stupid thing was way back in the 60's my dad still had a VW Bug. I was a kid and he asked me to open the trunk and to my surprise, there was the engine. He still had it in the 70's when I learned how to drive. I was borrowing it(without permission) and ran out of gas. I called AAA and the guy came out, flipped the lever and 2 gallons of spare gas poured in and I was on my way. Thanks for telling me, dad! Then when I thought I was being a good kid another time, I forgot to leave it open when filling it with gas, and the spare tank never filled. How was I supposed to know dad relied on that tank because he forgets to fill it? Never got to borrow it again.
Gonna go back to sleep now.
Love and hugs,
Beth0 -
Girls I have a funny story to tell - my 17 year old son has a mazda protege (he doesn't have snow tires - think mom and dad should spring for them!!) Well backing out of the driveway this evening to go to work he got stuck. Tried to help him, but he had dug a rut so deep could not move the car. I took him to work. When I picked him up at 10:15, we asked his co-worker to come help. Finally we get the car moved. I tell him to back up into the neighbors driveway and he gets the car stuck in snow again!!!! He backed straight into the snow. Way too deep for the three of us to get it out. Luckily someone was leaving another neighbors house so I tell Noah to go ask for help (he couldn't think of this on his own). The guy comes over to help and his girlfriend/wife gets out of the car to also help. So with 4 of us pushing and one driving, we managed to get the car unstuck a second time. Talk about a comedy of errors. It was 14 degrees just a little bit ago (and getting colder by the minute) and has already started to snow (again!!!). I am now wired and no way could I fall asleep (even with the help of sleeping pill - some nights they work, others they don't - last night was one they didn't work) so will stay on the computer for a little bit longer.
0 -
Quote:
I am sooo awake. I went to bed early (after CSI even though it was a rerun) since I have to dh to work by 6 AM which means getting up at 4:45 AM. But I got up to go to the bathroom. I have to walk past ds's room and I saw him sleeping. I had a sudden panic attack like I have never had before. I thought, what if I don't make it. Am I really doing all I can to prevent bc from invading? I want ot see him graduate in 5 years. I want to see my neice's first ballet recital next year. I am now wide awake again for the umpteenth time.
Does anyone ever get like this? i try not to vent about this. I don't want ot bring anyone down with me. But it has been on my mind and I hope I am not the only who feels like they are going a little crazy with worry.
I will try to go back to sleep since I only have 4 hours left till wake up time! I do not have roosters like Deb, so I have to rely on the alarm, my cat who nudges me because the real alarm went off and it bothers her ears.
Thanks for listening.
Love and hugs,
Beth
hi Beth,
I just posted to you in another thread, but I want to repost it here to maybe try to help reassure you and to also help you see that you shouldn't be living like the beast has you yet- because it doesn't and what a gift from God!
anyway this was my response to you there but maybe you need to read it tonight to help you feel better about where you are right now. I hope so.Quote:
Oh Beth, I had no idea. All this time I thought from your posts that you had BC. I apologize for misunderstanding.
As for the vigilance, well, all I can say is I have been through 5 surgeries for my BC. I have a very rough time with surgery because I am unable to tolerate pain meds of any kind, even those given in anesthesia. I had a hard time with my chemo and radiation and was left with a lot of after effects. In fact, one of my surgeries was to remove the necrotic skin deep inside my breast that was killed by the radiation and caused a very bad infection throughout my entire system.
Because of chemo I have heart and blood clotting problems,an auto-immune disorder that was caused by the cytoxan that has lead to practically debilitating spells of vertigo, asthma from the radiation and a stage 2 case of LE.
It is very hard to imagine going through that kind of surgery now. And my doctors are very conscious of the whole patient and quality of life issues as well as the protective aspect that a brca2 variant would offer. It is not clear cut in my case.
Because of the aggressiveness of my cancer I am always getting biopsies and other procedures that have taken their toll on me physically.
I think it is different for me because I went through so much already. I know that there will always be another "scare" around the corner and I have gotten used to that. I just want to take the best care of my body as I can and keep it from as much undue stress as possible.
Yes, since you tested positive for BRCA2 you have an increased risk. But take a little advice from me- you are free of cancer now. REJOICE IN THAT! Get up every morning and embrace that freedom. Don't focus only on the cancer that might be because it also MAY NEVER HAPPEN and it is better to live free from this horrid beast than to have to live with it.
I know you must feel like you have a clock ticking on top of you- but live your full cancer free life as much as you can because God forbid you should ever get this disease, you will want to bottle up every second you lived without it.
I will always be grateful to my breast surgeon who knew the results of my biopsy on the Friday of Labor Day Weekend. That was the day I had the operation. He didn't tell me what the frozen section said. He told me that he wouldn't know anything until the path came back. He said, "Go and enjoy the long weekend." And I did. I went to the beach with a little bandage on my inscision under my bathing suit. i flirted a bit. I went to a BBQ and I had my last weekend as a cancer free person. I think that was the best gift he could have given me.
So don't let the beast consume you- It doesn't have you so It can't have any power over you and you should live each cancer free day with as much joy as possible.
I am telling you this because after living with the beast for over five years it gets really old. And it is miserable at times. I don't want you to ever feel that way if you don't have to.
g
I can only pray that this will help you see things in the wonderful light they are in... to be cancer free is all of our dreams!0 -
Karen! I am not surprised you can't sleep! That is like taking an ice cold shower!! Tell your husband that the mini is the MOST FUN CAR TO DRIVE EVER!! It is like a go cart at an amusement park!
Beth it is crazy with those VWs and Porsches too with the engine in the back!! And naniam gives VERY GOOD ADVICE!
Shirley! You have a mini too! Isn't that place for the opener for the bonnet the STUPIDEST LOCATION??
Madison, I know! I just hope I burped him and didn't kill him! I had rad damage to my lung too. In fact, I have scarring that caused radiation induced asthma. They will see a lot of stuff in the beginning and then watch for it to recede. You migth hear the term "ground glass opacity" on one of the Xrays- that is just scarring from the rads.
Lisa! I am not sure how quick I am when i didn't recognize that a big red line means "NO! DO NOT PUT FLUID IN HERE MISS!" I am too hasty sometimes- hopefully I caught it in time!
Thank you Jeannette! I was feeling really stupid!!
Ok, now I think I will go try to sleep now myself!0 -
Well it's cold out side! Darn cold, to darn cold for me so I'm going to go climb undfert the blamkets, bedies I cannnt see strat.
Hope a;; are wllcome and glad to be here. got to get a few winks of chut eye.
Nite ll0 -
NS, I hope it doesn't bother anybody that I am here, not being dx with bc. I was told it was going ot be a matter of "when" notif. Even if I do all of the surgeries and take Tamoxifen I still have not eradicated my risk. The family history is too strong. I have lived through my dad's bc and it was not easy. Too many people in my life have been touched by bc and other cancers. I guess I needed to know what to expect with the mast and going on Tamoxifen and there is no other place to get help that I have found. For some reason I cannot explain, I was drawn here to this forum.
You and Vickie, Mena, Puppy and others have taken me under your wings. I am so grateful to my new guardian angels. I have had too many benign cysts removed from my breast that I need to do something concrete before bc walks in.
Anyway, it is way too early to be up again. I am again waiting on ds to get up and wander downstairs b4 school. Just got back form getting dh to work.
Hope everybody stays good and warm today. Be careful in that snow, Karen. See youall later. I am going back to bed and get a little nap and then get to work.
Love and hugs,
Beth0 -
Good Morning Everyone: Well I woke up, feel great, no headache and guess what. TGIF!!! Im just so happy. My husband isnt playing at any pubs this week-end, we have some great footballs games going on and Im ready to have some fun.
I stuck my head out the door this morning and its still sorta warm for Chicago. They are saying this will be the last day. High is gonna be 40 degrees and we should thoroughly enjoy it cause we wont be seeing these warm temperatures for a while. And a snow storm is coming our way Sunday/Monday - right when our dear Karen is gonna be here visiting her daughter. Hmmmm is the snow following Karen this year? I stuck my head out trying to see if I heard birds singing again. No such luck. Its such a pleasent sound, birds singing in the morning. Oh well - think Spring, cope with Winter.
NS: you popped in yesterday afternoon and I missed ya by about 30 seconds lol. What a story about the windshield washer fluid. I have a new car and dont know how to open the hood (bonnet) either. Lile SoCal said - quick thinking on your part.
Jan: Yes is was Pauls eyes that got me hooked. And his voice. I have been to everyone of his concerts since the 70's except for last year. Couldnt go cause I was in the middle of chemo. Now that one broke my heart, cause it broke my record. The second love of my life besides my husband is a wrestler called HBK - the heart break kid. Now thats another story I will have to share sometime.
Jeannie: Can they do anything for the trigger finger? Hoping you had a good night and that today will be wonderful.
Vickie: Im glad you took your thumb outta your mouth to enjoy some soup. It was good wasnt it? You need to hit suburban where the sun dont shine. Have you gone to a news paper? What a story that would be. BC survivor gets taken by local company. Goes without heat for the New Year. If I were you, I would get someone behind me and really get them. $3.03/gallon is ridiculous. Money hungry mongrels.
Tina: Im so glad to see you. Great advice for our dear LauraB. I knew the nurse in you would make you come outta hiding when you heard another sister was in trouble. Hope things are going well.
Cheri: You are such a sweety. You accomplished alot with the smoking/not smoking. More than me thats for sure. Maybe in the beginning you needed alot of support. Im wishing you good luck. Remember, this is me, the biggest whimp there is. So Im still smoking, still eating, and not exercising. I figure if I say that everyday - something will motivate me. I still havent bought my pedometer. Maybe today! For me, the more I talk about not doing something, the more I do it! The circle is the highlight of my day also. I love coming here and spending time with all of you. I feel like you all live right next door!
Madison: Oh please dont get me started on insurance companies. They have taken all control away from our physicians. And they are like the oil companies, their profits are incredible. I think its a sad day, when they pay nurses to review patients charts just so they can find something to deny a claim. Oh I just get so mad!!
Karen: Well Im glad the EMG is over. Glad the doctor was chatty, cant imagine going through that test in total silence. Have a safe trip to Chicago - the snow is following you!! What a week-end to come here for a visit. Snow Storm and the Bears in the playoffs. Gonna be wild in Chicago this week-end.
Menaaaa! Once again good to see you. Hoping your headache goes away quickly. So far today, good - no headache. Ive never seen the movie, so you have to tell us how it was and if its worth watching. Good luck with your infusions today. Distorted Humor is ready and able to bring me there so we can be with you. And ahahahaha so there are 2 Jakes. Puppys Jake and then the ghost of bad Jake. Thats a little to much for my brain to absorb.
Brenda: Great goat story. Im smiling here. And great advice for someone who has not been diagnosed with bc. Being high risk is scary in itself, but is different from hearing those words. I will never forget the echo! And then to be told I had a positive lymph node. I remember crying my heart out in the parking lot of my doctors office. Ah, that was then, this is now - and Im feeling great. Got to this point cause of all the support I received right here on bc.org - couldnt have gotten through without coming here everyday. High risk is scary, but its just different when you are diagnsoed with this beast.
Beth: bc.org is for people with breast cancer, people who are high risk for getting bc, family, friends, and caregivers who have loved ones with bc. Its a wonderful site for everyone. I did leave you a message in another thread. There is a silent code here in the circle. It is a safe place. Any negativity should be left outside the circle. Not that there is negativity. Like I said, high risk has its own fears and concerns. Each stage of bc has its own risks and concerns. Sometimes its hard to understand perceived fears, when one is facing the beast face to face. I only wish you good luck with whatever decision you make.
LauraB: How are things going since yesterday?
OK ladies, time to go. Off to work. Check in with you all later.
Nicki0
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