TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS

AlaskaDeb

OK ladies, I need a pep talk.
I tried to go read a book, tried to crochet…I just can’t settle down. I’m stressing…

Tomorrow I’m going over to Connie’s house to go over her Path report and help her get some understanding of what it all means. Here is the problem…I don’t know how to be positive. I am no cancer poster child. I have been able to put on a happy face for all of my friends who have come after me on this crappy trip…Linda, Rosemary and Connie. ALL of them stage 3. I just am so tired of being upbeat for them, and for me. How do I keep putting the positive spin on things that people who have just been Diagnosed need?

I know this sounds like a serious Jesus complex or something, but damn it I already DID all this crap…I did the surgery, I DID the chemo, I did the rads…no one else I love should have to do it. My treatment should be enough…I know that sounds crazy as hell, but deep down, I guess I really feel that way. It is bad enough that I had to do it. It is making me more and more nuts each time someone I know has to do it too. And what the hell is with all the stage 3?

I know this all may sound a bit loony, but I had to get it out of my head so I can try and get some sleep…

Deb C

b445

Deb, Don't try to be up beat. Just be Deb! It's hard trying to be more than you are so don't. just be yourself. She needs to know that there are going to be up days and down days. Remember when you first went through this. Did you know anyome who was always upbeat about this? Get your friend to come to BCO. Even if she only comes a few times it will surely help her. Besides, I think it's better for you to be you and she will expect that of you as well.
My prayers are with you

b445

Hopefull55 - Joan, Welcome to the circle. Glad to see you pull up a chair by the fire. Have a nice cup of hot chocolate, hope to see more of you

Sige

(((Deb)))

You'll know what to do when you're *in the moment*...trust yourself!

Hugs
Peggy

newvickie

Freaking out Vickie checking in this early cold snowy morning. Have my appointment at 10 and just sick of the whole idea of it...geez...I have my big girl thongs on and taking it in stride.
Tracey...I had a rhinestone pair but someone (and we won't mention names) swiped them LOL.
SHOPMAMA PAM...welcome...come out and join us. You didn't happen to see Cheri or Susan hiding under a wagon did you? Jump right in the center and we'll give you lots of love and comfort. Hot chocolate will be waiting Thursday night and anything else you need. We have enough supplies to fulfull any need.
Deb...sending you warm hugs and a thought. I think that God puts us where we are needed and Connie needs you and you will be such a blessing to her. I know how hard it will be to go over that report with her but for her to have you to help her see that not all is lost is truly a blessing. She will be able to see hope when she sees you...dancing with NED. You can calm her fears, give her the information and hope she needs. Remembering how terrified I was when first DX'd still gives me chills and I sooo wish I had had someone to give me information and hope. I hadn't found this site at the time and so wish I had...but she's even luckier...she has sweet wonderful you to carry her through. Just my opinion.
Cheryl...I always love Washington but oh my...too many creepy critters for my taste! Ewww.
Peggy...it is so wonderful to see you here.
Gotta get ready for "work"...I have to hid the fact that I have an appointment so Nathaniel doesn't worry.
Missing many but I will return later and let all know how the day went...sending hugs to you NS.
Sending hugs to all
Love
Vickie

[Deleted User]

Good Morning Everyone: My goodness Vickie, you beat me for early morning wake up call! I guess Im slacking on the job today.

Cold here in the Chicago end of the circle. 10 degrees and colder with the wind. Its gonna be a long day for me today. Having a marketing event - hosting the local chamber of commerce people from 5 to 7PM! 7PM!!! My goodness, Im usually in bed at that time. I shouldnt be whining though. Will have lots of food and wine, and I will just get paid to walk around and talk to people. But its still a long day for me. Maybe its time I proceed to the grown up world where people dont go to sleep at 7pm. Im probably in bed sooner than most children.

Amy: I know they are treating mets like a chronic illness. No different than daibetes or high blood pressure from a medical point of view. But from a psychological point of view, its way different. Other than the people who come to these boards, no one else gets it. And they never will.

Vickie: Oh you were reading my mind. I was wondering about the after affects of the fall. Knew there was gonna be some soreness. Im just glad you didnt break anything. I know your doctors appointment is gonna be just fine today. Be safe and careful out there driving. Snow and ice - thats pretty scary. Im hoping the snow storm passes you by like it did here in Chicago.

Peggy: I know your hiding. I have looked everywhere for your hiding spot, cause its a good one. Then it dawned on me, I bet she is hiding in the medic tent. Leave it to you to hide right under my nose. Where I would least expect. Im gonna grab Liz and Sherloc. Time to remodel the medic tent. And no hiding spaces allowed

Robbie: You sure are sounding good for just having surgery. I heard on the news this morning that Texas got hit with ice storms. They are saying the roads are very slippery. Im hoping by time you are ready to go to the surgeons office, it will warm up enough so the ice turns to slush. It still gets me - ice in Texas. Thats like snow in California! I just never think of those states being cold.

Denise: Oh I so understand about husband reading over your shoulder. My husband does that sometimes. When he does that, I quickly start checking other posts on other sites. He is funny though, always asks me what the talk is about today! He actually knows many of you by name cause I talk about you all. Actually I would be very upset if anyone was reading what I was writing to all of you. This is my sacred place to say what I want and what I feel without having to worry.

Jan: Cant imagine someone in real life having those big girl panties! Thats pretty funny. And what the heck is phish food? I have what I call wake up hungry. I think that is when I consume most of my calories. I need to put a lock on my mouth at night. Last night - several peanut butter cups, a few milky way junior bars, and a couple of slim jims to boot.

Sherloc: Im so glad the surgeon is gonna take out that "lipoma." Your surgery is scheduled one day before me getting my port out. Are they gonna do general anesthesia? Im still upset Im getting this done in outpatient surgery and they will be using IV anesthesia. I really thought this would be a much simpler procedure. Wanted it done by local in the surgeons office. Silly me. Good luck with the US and I hope its normal. No gallbladder problems are allowed.

Jeannie: I dont know how I missed it. But Im reading from everyone about you split pea soup - which happens to be one of my favorites. Sure sounds yummy.

Boobbuster: Wishing you the best of luck with your scans today. Cant believe it has alrady been 3 months!

Tina: Ahahaha you and I are so much alike. I cant do the spa thing either. I cant seem to get on track with dieting and exercise. Think about it everyday, but havent started anything in motion. The trip to Cuba sounds like so much fun.

Tracey: Speaking of peoples court! I was on it with my husband in the early 90's. Yep with Judge Wapner. Still have the tape. It was pretty funny, I was supposed to be his witness and I got so scared from the TV cameras my legs started to quiver and I had to sit down. Couldnt and wouldnt say a word.

Jeannie: Ahahahah now I got it. Phish food is Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Eat it standing up eh? How about laying down?

Shopmama: Hey Im so glad you finially peaked your head out of your wagon. Sounds like you have an exciting day. Survivors speech! Oh you must be so proud inside.

Margaret: Well darn, you lost your post and now Im wondering what were all the wonderful things you had to say. Hope today is a good one for you.

DebC: Connie is lucky to have you as a friend. When I was first diagnosed I knew nothing about bc. Everything I learned was from the support of these boards. As a matter of fact, I was doing research on bc and found the chat room by accident. That was the luckiest day of my life. The best thing for Connie is to see how well you are doing. And driving 6 hours for chemo? Thats ridiculous. What in the world is wrong with our healthcare systems. I always thought that by law, hospitals had to take a certain amount of "charity cases." Im so hoping the local hospital will change their minds.

CherylCy: Ice and falling in the parking lot. Public property - bah humbug. They need to think about the safety of their employees. I will be glad when this ice storm is over.

NS: I know you scared and we have you in the middle of the circle. Distorted Humor is saddled up and ready to go to the surgeons appt with you. Roller Coaster ride - here is comes again! Thinking of you this morning and hoping you can get through today with some sanity.

LauraB: Looking for the update from how things went yesterday.

OK! Gotta go. Hope everyone has a wonderful day. I probably wont see ya all til tomorrow morning. That is unless I can sneak in sometime at work today.

Nicki

LauraB

'Morning CGs! I'm gettin gready for a big presentation today so won't be able to check in much.

Did a drive by on my way home yesterday (got to go home early since I had a meeting off-site). With the amount of snow we had, his tire trucks pulling into her garage were pretty plain.

When I got home, he was checking our voicemail and the counseling center had called back; unfortunately, they're not on my plan, so I'll have to find another one. Anyway, he asked why I called them and I said "because I feel it would be beneficial for me going thru this sh*t." I then asked: "By the way, you remember that blue card I gave you? Well, I couldn't help but notice the garage door opener; is it Sandy's?" Should've seen the look on his face! LOL I said: "I remember you saying you had no desire to have a key to her house, and that she didn't want you to have one." He said she gave it to him since he was dropping things off at her place (yeah, right!) and he couldn't get into her house, and that he still didn't want a key.

Digging a deep enuf hole, dude?!?! AND I got the cell phone call detail; lots of 1 minute calls, so they have a "signal".

He admitted he took the saw horses to her house; I asked what for, and he said she's putting up molding. I said "can she do that?" (since she has bad hips and a bad back) and he said her sister and dad were helping her.

I'm coming THIS close to calling her and telling her it would be in HER best interest if she asks for the garage door opener back, and that he's STILL my husband, and she can find another "errand boy/delivery boy/house boy"!


GRRRRRRRRRRR!

LauraB

MargaretB

Morning ladies - well it snowed in Napa last night and San Francisco had snow flurries (Gwenn and Aliciamaris, did you see any?) but didn't get any in my area. Do have black ice on the roads.

DebC, sorry to hear the news about Connie. I think every American should be guaranteed insurance. The last thing she's going to want to do during chemo is drive an extra 6 hours. You received good advice on Connie. Be yourself, that's all you can be.

Vickie, thinking of you today.

NS, you're in my thoughts too; hope the headache is gone.

LauraB, I know you love your husband but don't you love yourself more? Girl, you are a better person than me - no way am I going to compete with someone for my own husband -I would hav kicked his a$$ to the curb long ago. And if it's not Sandy using your hubby as an errand boy/house boy/delivery boy, it most likely will be someone else. Why would you want someone who apparently doesn't want you or isn't sure if he wants you? You will ultimately make the decision that is best for you and your daughter, but in the meantime, I hate to see what he is doing to you.

Everyone else, have a good day.

Margaret

P.S. I hate when the system automatically logs you off. I got smart and copied my post though so I didn't lose it when I hit the "continue" button. That would have started my day off wrong.

Naniam

Morning all!!

Margaret, I lost my post last night too - that is sooooo frustrating.

Didn't sleep well last night as it was just one of "those" nights but too I kept listening for my hubby. Had a rough night with his back.

DebC - just because you have been through BC you are the right person to be with Connie. I had a friend who called once a week and talked to me and let "me" talk as she "got it" IT is something you can talk about and cry about together - she gets it now too. Good luck with the visit today.

NS, thinking of you and hope you don't have a headache today but with the kind of news you have been getting, wouldn't be surprised.

Guys, doesn't Cheri and Susan live in MO? Do you think the ice got them?

Ok, will catch up when I come back in this afternoon.

Lets see if I loose this one - hope all treatments, test, appointments goes well.

Brenda

csp

Good morning CG's,
Well the internet boogie monster got my post too this morning ! I always copy ,before I send and I FORGOT TODAY
and it gobbled it up !
Welcome to all the new ladies,
Hi Denise! I have a sister Denise which is why I came to BCO .
So I will call her deese or I will confuse myself which is easy to do LOL.

Vickie I am a good hand holder I am going with you today okay , okay !

Brenda I was thinking the same thing that maybe Cheri and Susan got dumped on by all that Ice, but I know Susan had
an appointment to see why she has been so tired all the time and not feeling well, they thought maybe mono so that is in the back of my mind too ?

NS get away from the bus !! We are taking your bus pass away!!
What the heck is Phish food ? I hope it has chocolate on it!

PEGGY !! funny lady so nice to see you here big hugs to you!!
and did I see Rachel too, hi Rachel I missed you !! I am so happy thing are going good for you!!!

Hugs and prayers to all of you that are going for Surgery, test , or doing the dreaded wait for results !!

Deb I am sorry to hear about your friend Connie she is very fortunate to have you. I am sure you will be a great help to her !!! Since I don't have BC when I was trying to help deese I was flying by the seat of my pants and reading here like crazy !!

deese took a Ativan before she had her thyroid biopsy they
did not numb it YIKES !! They took 5 samples, The only good thing about this BX is he was fast so it was done pretty quick. We don't get results until the 30th of this month so she is doing the dreaded wait !!

ps: note to self copy before I send !!!

hugs,
Carrie

lv2cmp

Morning Circle girls,

Deb-thinking of you as you drive up and talk to Connie. connie is one lucky woman to have you though because you do get it. why are we all online??? because not many of us have anybody in our 'real" life that gets it. You will do great and just be yourself. Think how much you lift all of us up by just being you and connie gets to see you in person. I honestly think she is lucky to see you up and down because cancer is that way. If you are always up and she finds herself getting down then she will wonder why she cant always be up like you. Ok I am rambling on about the talk but I know you will be great for Connie and I wish you were close to me when I was diagnosed or he!!,,,even now! You're a keeper girl!

LauraB-dont call the other woman. I know you are aggravated at her but its your husband that is going there. Get mad at him,,not her. Take care of you and that little girl. Also, I would leave my cell phone number so that he wasnt able to check the answering machine if it was me. He doesnt need to know everything.

NS-hope you headache has gone away. I sure hope we find out something soon about those.

Boobbuster-thinking of you today as you go for your scans. Crossing my fingers for all great news.

Brenda-I hate it when I loose my post. I always try to copy and paste but sometimes I get click happy and then my entire post is lost.

Cheri and susan-hoping the ice didnt get you. Check in to let us know you are ok.

Peggy-Sige-ok give it up,,where are you hiding???? Its gotta be somewhere good because you are all smiles here lately and with that new haircut,,theres no telling where you are.

Margaret-Its hard for me to imagine it snowing in California. I guess I think of it like the south and it just doesnt happen much.

Speaking of the south..its cold still here. I think we were 22 degrees last night. My son wore short sleeves to school of course with me saying dont you need long sleeves on??? He says, I have my north face, I will be fine. KIDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Hmmmm,,wonder if he wore socks?? Knowing him he didnt because he hates socks.

Nicki-I cant believe you were on peoples court. Thats pretty cool. Have fun tonight and I am sure you will be moving about and wont get sleepy until you start home.

Vickie-ok it was me that wanted your child to help my child clean. He doesnt like dust??? What kind of kid is this and what happened to mine? I would ship tucker to nathaniel for a week or so but nathaniel would go crazy so I guess that wouldnt be a nice thing to do.

Joan55 welcome to the circle. its a great place to hang out and relax and no nasty stuff so its all good.

shopmama-glad to see you checking in. Have fun and we will all be here thursday with hot chocolate waiting for you. How close to Atlanta are you? I am 2 hours from there.

robbie-hope you have a good appointment and wishing those drains can come out soon. I hated those.

Denise-I would hate to have somebody reading over my shoulder. My SO knows all about this site and I talk about all of you but to stand over me would drive me crazy. Its not that I am hiding anything but I couldnt handle it. I am just me on here but still,,give me my space.

Cheryl-after the lady falling didnt you want to just say "told you so". Men,,,they never listen and they know it all.

Margaret-Now you have us all wondering what you had typed. Inquiring minds want to know.

ok, if you have never had phish food dont try it. Its too addicting but then again all of Ben and Jerrys is that way. Speaking of addicting, a lady that works with me just brought by 3 loaves of freshly baked bread. Oh my gosh,,thats just mean. I can turn down alot of things but bread is a hard one for me. If I only had that split pea soup I would be set. I am going to try to ignore it but I dont know how long that will last.

tina-glad to see you around. i laughed out loud at your husbands comment. typical man.

ok guess I should get busy here at work and forget about that bread that is calling my name. Will be back later to check in.

Mazer says hi and she is enjoying this cold snap. She can run and frolic and not get hot.

Amy

jasmine

Okay, what I want to know is who left the refrigerator door open last nite. Its freezing here. I want summer back! Course, then I'll be saying 'hot enough fer ya!

sherloc

Good Morning Girls. Phish food sounds absolutely yummy and I don't even like ice cream. I'm achey as can be today but had a visit to Mrs Hippy Magicfingers yesterday so not as bad as it could be. Gonna take some time off of painting to recoup. Next stop is son's old bedroom which will now be MY room. Have never had my own space before. So looking forward to it. It's gonna be a total girls room. Might even paint flowers on the walls. Who knows. Already have these really cool curtains with big hippy flowers all over them and the coolest hanging lamps with beads and everything. Gee can you tell I'm excited?
Welcome to everyone hiding out. Come out and play.

Vicki, you are probably sitting on a chair in your docs waiting room right now. I'm praying for you hon. Ouch on the ice slipping. My bones are so bad I live in fear of falling and breaking a hip. No more of that you hear. It is not allowed.
A boy that cleans???? WOW!!!
Search and rescue hunks? hmmmmm maybe I should go into hiding.

NS, gentle hugs and prayers for you hon. Praying for Steph as well.

Tina, MEN!!! indeed. Warm sounds soooo good right now. I vote Dominican.

HI Tracey. your casserole sounds yummy. Tuna casserole is my hubbys favorite meal. GAG!!!

Pam, Survivor Speech. Very cool. I would die a thousand deaths if I ever had to make a speech. See you Thursday.

Brenda, hope you got your chores done.

Silvergirl, doesn't count standing up? well shoot thats why I can't gain weight. Note to self. Sit down when you eat. On to the Phish Food.

Margaret, seemed to be the night for lost posts!! Hate it when that happens. Sniff sniff I missed American Idol.
Snow in Napa and SF. WOW. I don't have snow. Thank you Lord!!!!

Deb, back is holding it's own for now. I had major rib pain during and after rads. They told me it was nerve damage. This pain isn't in my ribs. It's on my side between the bottom of my rib cage and my hip bone. sort of. Started after I had my ooph 1.5 years ago. Just a dull nagging ache. Had MRI, CT, and Bone Scan. Nada. The assumption was scar tissue from surgery. Then my appendix did it's thing last October and pain got worse. So now doc is checking my gallbladder. Which I don't think is the problem. Have never had a "gallbladder" attack. Just this constant pain that has now progressed to spasms. My luck it is scar tissue and theres nothing they can do about it. Anywhos, it's definately not shingles.
Deb, you will be the good friend that I know you are where Connie is concerned. Cry with her and tell her you know how much this crap sucks but she will get thru it just like you did.

Cherylcy, what can I say. I'm a rebel. Or just an idiot. You pick. Don't have coral snakes or scorpians here. Do have black widows. Now they scare me. Used to live in Templeton in the Tarantula migration path. That was very cool. They are really very docile and interesting creatures. Having boys I have had quite a few living in fish tanks in my house. They like to keep their homes neat and tidy and they bathe every day. How wierd is that. California tarantulas venom is less potent than a bee sting.

Goodness Nicki if I went to bed at 7 I'd be up at 1. Now that would be the pits. Only woke up once last night. It was a good night. All my lumps (this will be #4)have been done under a local. I'm expecting the same for this one. I hate hate hate that tube down my throat.
As for the gallbladder. I'm hoping thats what it is, tho I don't think so. Remove it, pain goes away. If not then what is it? hmmmmmm the dilemna.
You were on The Peoples Court? O do tell!!

Laura, I am biting my tongue in the effort to keep my two bits to myself. I'll just say.....He is so not worth the effort.

Carrie, no numbing for a biopsy? That is just cruel. Shame on them. Praying while you wait.

Amy, walk away from the bread. Better yet pass it this way.

Always, it wasn't me I promise.

Off to see what I can disrupt today. See you all later.

Biker54

Good Morning CG's!

Had an appt. with my rad onc and everything is just peachy. I don't have to go back for a year! However, when she saw my boobs, she stared and told me to call my ps. Something is just not right. I have swelling under my right arm and fluid around the implant . But, at least I am healthy. I see my onc in Feb. That's the appt. that gets me all freaked out. I am due for major blood work this time. Winter has finally arrived here too. It was about 20 when I got up. BBRRR!! I'm not used to it!

Shirley - Aren't the grands grand? They are definately better than buttered toast! I have mild pain on my right side also. My surgeon thinks it is inflamation of the connective tissue on my ribs. I already had the old gall bladder removed a few years ago. Miss Hippy Magicfingers?? That is hysterical!

Amy - I am so jealous! I always wanted to life on a farm. The best I can do right now is 3 acres and no animals. I had a horse years ago, but we boarded him. People here don't handle bad weather any better. We do get snow every winter and every time you'd think we were getting 6 ft. and would be trapped for days! Cripes, no milk, eggs or bread.

DebC - I hate car shopping too. Punk moose?? I would love to see one some day! Connie is in my thoughts. It sucks to be diagnosed with bc. Just be there for her.

Tracey - I did wear my big girl thong to my dr. appt. today. I don't know if I should used them for a trampoline or a wind surfing sail! They're putting that US where??

Vickie - Hope you are recovering from your fall. Good luck with your appt.! You must have done something really special in your previous life to deserve a wonderful boy like Nathaniel!

NS - I'm so sorry you are still having headaches! I am sending good vibes your way. Stay off that bus!!!

Tina - ROFLMAO!! Typical man!!

Cheryl,Cy - I hate ice!!! I will drive in snow any day, but ice is a whole different ball game.

Nicki - It got really cold here also. It's about time, although we ere really enjoying the warm! I agree. I get most of my info from the boards. I always go to dr. appts. armed with new info I learned from my sisters. I'm not sure how much they appreciate that. Tough noogies!

Laura b - You just stay strong!! Get mad!! He is the one who is doing wrong. ((((Hugs))))

AlaskaDeb

Hey Shirley-

I have a friend that had pain form the constriction of scar tissue in her back and neck. She went to physical therapy and they used ultrasound and infrared heat to soften the tissue. She said it worked great. It took a few weeks, but the pain did go away. If the pain ends up being from scar tissue...give it a try.

Hugs
Deb C.

LauraB

Gosh, I'm so glad I have folks to bounce ideas off of or I'd do something I'd regret!

In reviewing the cell calls/bill...it's more him calling her this past month, and yesterday's "visit" to her house was probably him picking up the saw horses (tho I can check on that).

I had it all ready but....I'm NOT going to leave a copy for him to find tonight of the cell phone bill with calls to/from her highlighted...yet. Verizon will email us when the statement is ready; let him sweat when that happens.

I copied/pasted all my Discussion Board postings into a Word document (kinda created a journal like most of you have suggested so I can match up to a timeline). There were 20 calls from him to her on the morning of the 9th (almost every minute from 730a-10a)...I checked back to see what might have happened on Mon. the 8th and there doesn't appear to be anything out of the ordinary (Sunday the 7th was the day he said Sandy didn't want to talk to me, and the day I got his Uncle Bob's pic printed and framed). On that Sunday there was a 20 minute call from him to her at 423p...that would be right before he came home and asked me if I told Mom & Dad yet, and said he was glad I didn't....hmmmmmmmmm? Maybe OW never called him on Monday the 8th, and he was panicking and kept trying to call her?

I think guilt's taking it's toll...he has one day to return the garage door opener, or else I'll start working on making things bad.

Don't think of me as obsessing...this detective work is kinda fun! Make him sweat!

LauraB

snowmen_n_thongs

good day ladies...
well it snowed some more here and its still quite cold ( -20) i have been having really bad cramping with this cycle..i think its finally subsided! now i wish i did do the transvaginal thing!
i am working a night shift tonight and am really depressed about it... threw my whole system out of wack... so instead of getting up and going to work i slept in and now feel groggy as well... i hate when that happens.
well at least it will give me a chance to study then at work tonight, i expect it to be quit quiet!
cheryl yes i should of done it and got it over with... now i getting paronoid... i did reschedule it so i will keep the appointment!
deb thinking about connie she is in good hands with you! you are a good friend.... maybe connie would want to join us here in cyberland.
nicki... lol you were on judge wapner??? omg thats funny! i would of been terrified to... did you hubby win his case??? thank god it wasnt judge judy hahahahahahaha
laura glad your hanging in there,,, i am hoping your not overstressing yourself... i am sure thats inevitable though.. hugssssss
cheri... where is cheri????? missing cheri!
i had a bad dream last night i dreamed my hubby didnt want me anymore it was so real so when i got up this morning i phoned hubby and asked him...lol
i do have a good hubby and in the last few yrs i think i havent treated him very good... i have tried to kick him out numerous times and he would never leave me...i was afriad maybe i did push him to his limits... also since being dx i have not slept with him in the same bed... so on monday night i took my airbed down and moved back into the bedroom.... he was nervous he said its been so long... i dont know what happens to me but man i get bitchy for two weeks and even to the kids.... i worry about the little things that really dont matter!
i feel like i am having a hard time keeping my head above water right now sometimes i feel like giving up but i keep going and going and going.... i am a fighter
well i am off to shower maybe i can shower my depression down the drain.....
have a good day ladies and i will see you when i get to work!
tracey

LauraB

Tracey,
For what we've all been thru, the people who love us most should understand the ups/downs/mood swings. What we need to work on is the "I love me", and keep trying our best to live the "new normal".

I think it's really sweet that you re-joined your husband...I'm sure he does, too!

LauraB

joy1122

Hi Girls,
I tried to catch up on everyones post. I have to start taking notes! I started Tamoxifen today and I don't have to go back to the onc for three months. Yeah! I haven't decided when to go back to work. I wanted to start in Feb but with Kevin's surgery,I don't think I can.
I am still having the burning tinkling in hands and feet. Also complained about depression and anxiety attacks. She recommended I go see my gyn and go back on Lexapro.I hate the thought of going out of the house some days. I have to push myself out the door. I have to go get my son so I will check back later.
NS-I hope your headaches are gone. I suffer from migraines and they are really hard to deal with. I am praying for you.
Take Care,
Joyce
joyce

silvergirl9114

Deb---you are one of the most natural "givers" I have ever had the pleasure to meet. I'm sure if you are just yourself you will be what Connie needs. Don't forget that a good part of the value we have for each other as CGs is that we can cry together too---if that's what you and Connie need to do together, that's what you need to do together. Have some info on the trip too---will communicate with you later after everything is booked. We may get to the Kenai peninsula after all!

Laura---don't get too hooked on the Girl Detective thing. It will make both of you nuts. I have been struggling mightily to keep my counsel but I think you know what I think. When you do get in to see a counselor be sure to ask him/her about cheating behavior and persistency.

Snowman---everyone has bad days. Just get in the shower and wash it down the drain. I try to do the "as if" thing on those days. Act "as if" I feel fine and nine times out of ten I realize I am starting to feel fine.

Vickie---crocheting my little fingers to the bone---neat trick when one of them is stuck! I think I have 6 done. Wait till you see the colors----can't wait to see how you put them together so they don't scream across the room--just a little loud! Are you sure Nathaniel isn't a 32 year old midget---an eight year old who cleans unsupervised and hates dust? It's a miracle!

NS---hope the headache is better today altho' the stress probably isn't helping much. You know we are all keeping you warm and cared for in the middle of the circle. A little herb tea and a fleece blankie would be good right about now, right?

Nip is doing good so far---but I'm being scrupulously careful not to squish, irritate, rub, etc. Stitches are looking good---haven't heard any spitting noises in the middle of the night! (My bod spits them out here and there if they're the dissolvable ones!).

Deb---it was 5 BELOW when we got up this a.m.----why did you send this down here? I've always been nice to you! We have a big deck out back and it cracked and banged all night from the temp change---contracting in the cold.

I have a question for all of you to mull over. Last January the MRI showed cysts in the Lone Ranger---like 4 of them and I just grew another one. Two are simple cysts, one is lobulated and two appear to be complex. Can't feel 3 of them at all they're so deep. If cysts are no big deal why do they keep chasing me in every few months just to "make sure"? February will make the 4th boob inspection for something allegedly harmless. Why are we doing this? I'm post meno and I always thought us menopausal gals just didn't make cysts in the first place. I love my docs but when I ask this question I feel like I'm being phumphered.

AND---I started Femara today! Keep our fingers crossed! Anyone out there get put on Zometa immediately when they started Femara?

OK---the question box is through now.

Hope everyone has a good day---see ya at the circle later. My crochet hook calls.

Jeannie

newvickie

I'M HOME I'M HOME
I'M OK I'M OK...HOLY SH*T AND THANK GOD!!! SHOULDN'T SAY THAT IN THE SAME SENTENCE BUT I'M SURE HE UNDERSTANDS!!!
No more freaking out for me for a bit...thank you all for your pm's and hand holding and well wishes. Couldn't do it without you. I do have a bit of LE and so I got tons of info on that and they are setting me up with a therapist in Ithaca so I can go from work on my lunch hour and not miss any more time. I got out to late to go to work so I treated myself to a quick trip to the mall and GOT MY HAIR TRIMMED!!! Oh I was sooo scared. They just barely trimmed it and evened it up and it looks and feels great!
Everyone is waiting for my news and I'm washing the magic thong so we can have a trampoline party later LOL!!! Yup...I came here first thing...you are all my sisters that understand.
Love ya
Vickie

lv2cmp

Woohoo vickie,,bring on the trampoline! congrats and I know you are excited. Been thinking about you all day and wishing you the best. Mazer said there was lots of traffic in New York and she wasnt used to it but she made it ok. She told me she also tried to find Nathaniel cause she wanted to see a boy that could clean but she gave up and figured it just couldnt be true. A boy that cleans??? oh my!

congrats on the news! wooohoooo,,putting on my dancing shoes!

Amy

sue4unj

Hopefully, I did this right. If I did, there are more to come. This was our NJ get together at Harold's in Edison. Clockwise: tflow, naughtybynature, judi (friend), livestrong, starfish, annie1962, skierray44, jjb1984, ishop1

sue4unj

Mr. Tinkerbell, Jade, the beautiful daughter of nbn (Lilia)

sue4unj

me (ishop1), mena and tflow

sue4unj

The gorgeous quilt made for Mena!!!

newvickie

Wow...what beautiful pictures and what a bunch of beautiful ladies!!! ALL OF YOU.
The quilt is simply beyond description...just amazing.

Thanks Amy...almost ready for the trampoline dance!!!

newvickie

woohoo

k4katz

Hi CGs, sorry I haven't posted in a while. I have just been so worn out and this past weekend I was really sick with a stomach virus. Yuck! I was so disappointed to miss the NJ get together! It looks like everyone had fun! Hopefully I can catch you next time around.

These weekly treatments are getting to me. They aren't anywhere near as harsh as the AC, but I am just so darn tired. I hate it because it makes it harder for me to justify taking it easy on myself. People ask me how I am doing, and all I can say is that I am really tired. Some are sympathetic, but some just look at me like I should get over it already. I really wish I could. Anyway, I am on taxol/herceptin #5 of 12.

So I will try to check in more often, but it has gotten harder because I changed my work hours and I cannot log on at work anymore (no more getting in at 6AM when no one is around). Plus, I have been trying to get back into my hobby...I was working on recording a CD of original music with a friend of mine when I got dx'd. I feel badly that we have had to put it on hold for a while, so now I am meeting with her 1 day a week to record. We were hoping to have the CD by March, but now we are shooting for the end of 2007.

So, there is no way I can catch up on all the posts I missed. Tomorrow I have a treatment so I will be home in the afternoon and I will try to catch up then! I have to go now - there is a township meeting I need to go to...trying to prevent a developer from building condos in my backyard!

Kristin

snowmen_n_thongs

rotflmao
vickie brings out the trampoline!!! hahahha
tracey