TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS
Comments
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Just popped in to say CONGRATULATIONS TO Nickie and the Bears. DH filed me in on how the game was played.
Shirley, please stay away from those fang creatures, snakes...YIKES.
I have to go, the baby shower was fun BUT NOW THE DUST BUNNY POLICE MAY BE CLOSING IN....I have to clean house cause tomorrow is a work day.
HUGS to All, Stay Safe.
Madison0 -
Margaret,
It's not constant pain but when I cough it hurts. It is sensitive at times.
Joyce0 -
Joyce, it sounds like I could have what you have. I need to get back in to the PS and the ob/gyn so I guess this would be a good reason to make sure I do.
Margaret0 -
yes
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Hi girls it is me above as "anonymous"
I have notified Melissa and Tami about this glitch. No other forum has it so it needs correcting!
I will be back after I read your posts!0 -
ok.........i'm jumping out on a limb here!
i'm over a year out of this mess of surgeries,poor recon, chemo, mets etc............am i the only drama queen who expected more from my "loved ones" than what i got? i have been holding this little issue in for a while. my ex is pretty useless when it comes to my desires, and i'm used to that, but my own family is even more useless in addressing what i'm enduring!
i just feel overwhelmed that nobody ever made a big deal about all of this BC bullshit........i have been to hell and back and have been handed a shortened lifespan, yet everybody just keeps on depending on me to "be me"..........i'm sooooo fed up!
i think being in the keys with my best friend, who told everybody my "story" every chance she got made me realize that the people here, at home, are just morons!!!!!!!!!!
my ex husband once accused me of needing "a trip to paris with champagne and caviar" for my birthday...........i surely don't need that, but some recognition would be good!
i just feel so devalued by everyone.............i've kept it to myself forever, but i'm wondering if anyone else feels the same way? it's really been bugging me for months.............i think i was devalued before BC, but just now i realize the levity of my situation.............i have hair now, so "it's all over"!
i'm soooo frustrated, all i ever do is deal with people that only care about themselves..........and all i ever do is care about everybody but me!
i felt so great yesterday, but admittedly, i got my "esteem" from an evening with my ex.................tonight i want to yell at everybody, shake them into awareness, make them live my life for an hour, slap them all around because their lives are still full and the sky is the limit for them!
long story short.............anybodyelse totally let down by the ones they love??????
it's probably just me, but i can't seem to get past how it doesn't seem to factor in to anyone else's life except mine.............it's like everyone i care about is too busy to think about me! don't get me wrong, i'm a big, fat caregiver, but holy hell............maybe i do need paris right now lol!
sorry for the "divorcee rant".............but i'm just now starting to realize that the whole time i never cared about myself,...............nobody (and i mean nobody) ever gave a FF about me either...............pray for my move to the keys ok?............nothing would make me happier right now!
michelle0 -
Deb you crack me up!! Make sure we wait until the critters are out of my head first before we start beating em with sticks- OK?? ALTHOUGH.. come to think of it- Maybe that would cure me!
GOOD LUCK Nicki at the onc tomorrow! I hope this trip gives you the all clear for your port removal! Snow? What is snow?? I better ask Shirley and Lini what snow is... we don't get that here in the North East anymore!!
VIckie, please don't tell the police, but I had two dustbunnies for dinner tonight.... getting close to circle spa weigh in time!
Glad to see you Ginney! Was getting worried about you! My headache did get better a bit for most of today and now it is sliding back into its usual misery. We will see what happens!
Adrionna and Deb, my grandmother was from Michigan too!
Madison I am glad your team won... I am not used to that feeling.. I am a Jet fan- winning? what's that?
Jan, it looks like my Mini will pull through... I am so glad I didn't kill him! And someone FINALLY explained to me why the opener for the "bonnet" is on the passenger's side.... because the car is ENGLISH the steering wheel is normally over there! So why move that thing too?
I reallly laughed when I finally figured out that logic!
Margaret, with a tram that is something I am totally not familar with... it feels like the inscision site or underneath deep down? I am so sorry you are feeling bad!
Tracey, good luck tomorrow!! I hope you are feeling better by the time you read this post!!
I haven't seen Julie P post in a while Vera... she is a sweetheart.
OK Nicki!!! Congrats on DA BEARS!!
Margaret, I am reading further down here and so your later post- could you have a hernia there? I had a friend who had a hernia on her tram site.
Shirley! IF they do find squirells in my head on my MRI I am putting YOU IN CHARGE of killing them!!! SHIRLEY-SNAKE VANQUISHER!
CHEEEEEERRRRIII??? where are you?????
Shel- I feel your pain! I really had zero support from my family except my dad - but he lives in another state. And when things happen now, like the nonsense I am going through, I know better than to tell anyone because they just are so used to me being the strong one who "bounces back" that they think none of this sh!t gets to me. I must say I am that way with friends now too- except for here I don't tell anyone I am having a BC related "scare" or problem. I think it is self protection at this point. No one can let me down if I don't tell them. But if your family is used to you being Shel- super girl who bounces back and always lands on her feet and who takes care of everyone else- then there will be family members who just don't want to hear it when you are down or scared.
but you got this family right here- so vent away anytime you want! We LOVE you!!!!0 -
Hi ladies
Read through post quickly... so much to catch up on but here goes
TRACEY... hope you feel better. Drive safely if you do go tomorrow. I agree, thought we couldn't post annonomous... not sure I like that idea. Hope the moderators can do something?? ROFLMAO the monkeys.... where do you come up with all those pics
SHEL... So good to see you. We missed you. Good luck with moving to the Keys, sounds great!
LIZ, CHERI.... hope you are OK and survived that storm
NS... prayers for those headaches. They really sound like migraines I used to get.
CHRISTINE... prayers for your surgery. Let us know how you are
DEBC... Amen for fat free creamer
You wouldn't want to cross my path when I haven't had my coffee!! Congrats on the 8 pounds!!
BIKER... you are NOT THE ONLY ONE with pain from Arimidex. My PCP finally admitted that this med is so new that we are kind of discovering the side effects as we go. The first time she was ready to send me to a psychiatrist to help me deal with it
I have terrible ankle pain... it is slowling improving but is most definitely real!!
Ginney.... good to see you again
Shirley... snakes EWWWWW! I would be running out of there real fast ... well as fast as a penguin can waddle anyway
Well I hope I didn't miss too many. I think of you all the time
Hugs and prayers to all
CherylG0 -
Hey Cheryl! I have missed you!!!
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I've been watching but really busy. Thanks for missing me. I posted this over in Rocktober girls... I am setting up my own support centre... sort of a physical representation of our boards here. Pretty exciting. I live in a small town with NO services and am over an hour away from closest services.Hoping I can help out others along this journey.
I am praying for those headaches of your hun ...hope your MRI comes out OK
Hugs CherylG
LOL just looked at yours and my avatars ... looks like your avatar hugging mine 0 -
Shel,
If I hear the words "you are so strong - you can do this" one more time, I swear I will explode. I hear you on the family thing. I sent a holiday newsletter to my family about a week ago - been doing it for years - email for a few years. ONE person replied - ONE - out of about 10. And that was my step sister-in-law - not my uncles, sister, etc. Mind you - most are retired and the rest check email almost daily...yeah - guess reading about my dx was too much for them. Never mind that they never replied about how good my daughter is doing - or that my new job is great - or that my kitties are cute (most have not seen them yet). Nope - nothing. Thank goodness for my step SIL!!
My sister visited in October. I had suggested she change her plans after my dx since they were made before it and I was still low about it and working and just thought it would be better to reschedule. She insisted, decided to bring a friend, tried to plan sightseeing of everything in less than two days. She managed to fit in telling me "well - that's life" and "did you take your pill today - well, take another" (and she's been on them for years) and when I thanked her for helping me get a wig - that it really made me feel better she said "well, it's a little late for that!" Then she finishes the trip with "it's a good thing you got it instead of me - you can handle this - I couldn't."
Yeah - it's a good thing I got cancer - boy - that really makes me feel better that I'm so STRONG...WTF. I told everyone else in the family that nobody else visits - not interested.
That's why I now live only with my kitties (and my DD when she comes home for weekends) - and I'm serious about visits too. So yes - totally let down by most of my family...
Hugs,
Ginney0 -
OK Shirley you are suppose to be wearing long pants and boots when clearing brush or weeds in snake country! Been there done that and thank God I had on long pant and my "Army Boots" cause I had atepped in a nest of "copper heads"! And babies are wors than adults as thier venon in more concentrated!
OK OK no wonder the Seahawks lost with all of you rooting for the BEARS! We didn't have a chance! At least we made them work for it!
Well we had snow Wed. Thurs and Sat. and now the say we'll get more tomorrow night! I still have about two inches of ice on my street! My sister lives about 15 minutes from me and they have very little snow left!
Good news! I have a new water heater! one of the gals at work has a son that is a plumber and he came and put a tank in for me and it only cost me $200.00 for the tank and instalation! I gave him a $30.00 tip for helping me out. Yeah I have hot water! Now to get the roof fixed!
OK I need to get to bed since I'll have to leave early to get past all this ice and get to work on time!
Shel, you are not alone dear I think a lot of us feel that way. But you have us and that's all that matters!
Throwing some logs on the fire to keep us all warm.0 -
Good Morning Everyone: Well here I was, all ready for a snow day. And sure enough the snow passed us by! Well sort of. Chicago can be a strange place in Winter. So in the city, its just rain. Here in the Western Suburbs its sleet. In the Northern Suburbs its snow. And with my job, I will be driving through everything. But not enough to keep me at home. Actually its the ice that scares me the most. So I will probably go into work just a litle later and avoid all of the crazy people who have 4 wheel drives traveling at their usual fast speeds. Thank goodness Im not like Madison. The work police wont be chasing me. I can go in late or leave early. And if it continues to sleet, I may go in for a short bit and come right home. We shall see how this day progresses. Bets I dont hear birds singing this morning though.
Coffee is on. I saw pictures this morning of the ice storm that his Oklahoma. Our poor Liz, hope she is ok. Cheri too - think she got hit pretty bad with ice. They are saying power is off. Shows trees falling down from the weight of the ice on the branches. And according to the news, those of you in Florida are enjoying some fine warm weather. Wish I had the money so whenever a storm was coming our way, I could hop on a plane and go to Florida for a few days.
For those of you who like football, the game last night was a heartbreaker for the Chargers. Im still in shock that the Patriots one. Actually both games yesterday were pretty awesome. Im just glad the Bears made it one step closer. Whew! Hugs to Vera and SoCaLisa.
Sherloc: Oh what a funny story and a great visual. Ya know its funny cause I agree, some weeds have the prettiest flowers. You are much braver than me. I cant believe you poked the darn thing. I would have been running so fast, I would have won a marathon. Im superstitious. I always pick up a penny when I find one. Want to make sure I have good luck that day. And if I spill any salt, I make sure to throw some across my back. Since my mom was born in Italy, I have a whole bunch of bad omens I avoid. But Bees eating a snake? Thats a new one for me.
Tracey: Ahahahahah bats, spiders, and snakes. OMG I would need a xanax lollipop all day long. And Bears - they look so cute and cuddly. Wouldnt walk in their path though. The only Bears I get to see are the ones in the zoo.
Vickie: OMG, its not even 6am and Im laughing so hard. Your story about Nate and the Bear was pretty funny. And to think I run from a possum when I see one! The only wild animals we have here are possums, skunks, raccoons, and squirrels. And Deer. We have lots of deer.
Madison: If you husband described the Bears game to you, then you know they came so close to losing. It was a good game, anxiety ridden all the way. Took me about 30 minutes to catch my breath. So we will see ya and the Saints next Saturday. A nail biting game its gonna be.
Shel: Its so good to have you back. I thik one of the hardest things for me is the people around me. They all seel to think bc is a "rite of passage" WTF! This has been and still is the biggest crossroad Ive had to travel. Still not myself, probably never will be. Everyone around me thinks its over. Im still struggling with it. Unless someone walks in our shoes, they will never understand.
NS: Good luck with you onc appt today also. And I hope the headaches are better. I usually go in and just say "Everything is great" like Im trying to prove something to him. Now thats silly isnt it. Today Im gonna tell him about the vague headaches, fatigue, and occasional bone pain I get. Seems to occur monthly now, just like when I got my periods. But Im in menopause. No ovaries. So this cant be hormonal!!
CherylG: It was so good to hear from you. Yes you were missed very much. The support centre sounds great. It was a heartbreaker loss for the Seahawks. The win could have gone either way. They certainly put up a good fight and more.
Ginney: Just aother example of how lightly people around us take bc! Until it happens to them. And not only does your sister visit, but she brings a friend? Wow! My son never even called to see how I did after my surgery. Havent forgiven him for that one yet. I seems like everyone around me just gets tired of hearing me talk about bc. About how I feel. So the only people I talk to about it now are my doctors and all of you. But I must admit, I need to be careful. I go to hospitals evaluating people for my job. And I always say "Boy you look good today." Im gonna stop that as of today!!
Joyce, Jan, MargaretB and anyone else that I missed, saying howdy and hope your day is a great one.
LauraB: You have to let us know how the week-end went. You got through 2 more days!! Not easy Im sure, but you did it! Sending an Italian curse to Ray - hoping his boys have shrinkage for the rest of their lives
OK! Time to go. Its gonna be a wild day driving. And the temperatures gonna slowly drop all day. Hope everyone stays warm and see.
Nicki
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Morning, all!
Nicki knows...I laid into Ray on Saturday. I told him must be tiring going back/forth between houses. He said it's not an affair and I said "sure looks like it to me, and would to an outsider!" Many other things were said (heck, I may have already posted them), but nothing's getting thru.
He had left yesterday before 1p saying "I have to run an errand, then I'm going to the hall"; I pretended I didn't hear, so asked him to repeat it. For whatever reason, he put two saw horses in his truck (he didn't know I saw him walking from the back garage...I didn't say anything to him). His sis called me about 430p saying she saw his truck at the Hall, so she knew it was safe to call me---apparently, the "errand" was something at the OW, and he finished up at the Hall.
He came back for dinner and Caitie's bath (I checked the truck console while he was washing her, and did NOT see the garage door opener). I later could hear him on the phone in the basement w/someone and when I went into the family room, he came up and put his coat on, looked at me, and desperately said "just give me one hour". THEN Caitie asked him where he was going and he got pissed again and said to her "you're not my mother!" She asked again (she knows how to push his buttons! LOL) and he looked at me (as if I'd coached her) and I said "Caitie, Daddy doesn't like us asking." Well, he stomped out at 640p....and came back at 930p. He's desperately covering his tracks, because the downstairs phone had 411 in the redial (sh*t---there are phone books down there, ya bloody idiot!)
Once I heard him snoring upstairs, I checked the truck again and the opener was there! Came THIS close to doing a drive-by last nite w/the garage door opener (had keys in my hand and shoes on my feet at 1030p....).
When he came downstairs this morning, I said "good morning. I gave you an hour last nite; you took three" and all he said is "I know." Just before I was to leave the house with Caitie, he went out to start my car then came back into the kitchen. I could see his reflection in the window and he just stood behind me like he was going to say something, then left. For all I know, he rifled through MY car and found the manila folder I had hidden under the passenger floor mat (has info in it about the counseling center, 64-pages of Ohio Divorce Laws, and the cell phone reports I have.)
I finally had Caitie sign the thank you note for the Christmas present's the OW/son gave to her. I put my own little note inside about wanting to talk, I'm sure she understands, here's my cell....but I didn't mail it yet. Not sure if I should?
Caitie said he did apologize to her this morning, but I will NOT let him get awazy with this again.
Everyone's right about this being hard, and getting harder before it gets better. Trying my darnedest to take it one day at time.
LauraB0 -
Morning ladies.
Shel, I could identify with your post. Most of my family and my friends were extremely sympathetic, except my kids. It wasn't that they weren't sympathetic, but I don't think they realized how serious everything was, including my oldest who is an LVN so should know better. As far as they were concerned, I was still the same, just at one point, with no hair. I think they still don't realize what I went through.
NS, I'm thinking it might be a hernia but the pain seems to be better. If it isn't better this week I guess I need to see the dr. I wonder what they do for it - I don't want another surgery - don't even want to see another dr. I hope your headache goes away.
Cheryl, glad you got the new water heater.
To everyone I missed, make today a ood day. Time to hop in the shower.
Margaret0 -
Shel - I realized this just last week: "Old relationships have old expectations, New ones don't know the old me and have no expectations." I've been lucky because my closest family relationships have been there for me and are letting me be me, whatever she may be. I will say I'm letting many of the old friendships slide away and making new friends that have nothing to compare me to. It sounds like you are finally getting your priorities straight and putting yourself first. That's a good thing. I think that your family has probably depended on you too much and are scared or selfish.
Geez, Ginney. Can you say B**ch? Your sister sounds very selfish. Sorry you had to endure that.0 -
good morning ladies...
well i am just about off for my tests.... another cold day but at least the roads arent to bad!
me and my youngest is going she wants to spend some time just with mom so i let her miss school...
well i popped into the rocktobergirls as i never really ventured there before and introduced myself..... not one person welcomed me.... was a little hurtful but i guess i just wont go back....
i still have you guys
well i hope everyone has a good day and i'll be back later tonight....
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
tracey0 -
Hey! Im just peaking in. Dont usually have computer time at work.
Tracey: Dont feel bad, Ive never felt welcome on any of the chemo threads. Never really knew where I belonged. Started end of July 2005. So was I July or August. Someone mentioned that the circle couldnt compare to their group. Well it shouldnt compare to it. There are over 100 women that come here. Theirs is a unique thread. Think you had to be there from the beginning to fit in. The support they give each other is wonderful. Its their special place and that good, thats what bc.org is all about.
Anyways Tracey - we love you too much. And we will always welcome you here.
And all new people are welcome. This is an open forum where we can support each other through the oh so many stages of cancer and moving beyond it or living with it.
Nicki0 -
Oh my it's afternoon already. I had thought I'd have the day off with the ice storm but the roads were passable and it's now just rain. Hope all are safe wherever you are.
Ok...now for a friggin whine...if you don't want to hear me whine again just ignore and I'll be back later with a better attitude LOL
I have an appointment with my breast surgeon on Wednesday and said that I was not going to freak out about it...guess what...freaking out again. Two stinking Xanex later and still freaking. I have no breasts and saw my onclogist last Monday who looked at my scars, checked my lymph nodes etc and said everything looked great...soooo...what is my surgeon going to do? I'm just so very tired of appointments and worry...I sooo need a break! I will also be seeing an LE specialist and that's fine...not at all concerned about that. What do they do in the follow up? Sorry ladies...puttin my big girl panties back on and gettin my thumb out of my mouth. Cripes.0 -
Hidee Ho from frozen Oklahoma. I'll catch up with everyone in awhile. I'm okay. I sure hope Cheri and Susan are. To everyone who is in the path of this storm - please be careful. It's a b*tch.
Hugs
Liz0 -
A quick hello before I run out- I will answer everyone when I come home. I took too much time trying to set things straight in Moving Beyond
Girls, you are all my rock here. Every one of you- from the first person who posted to the last person who just joined....
We are a loving and beautiful place here... so much so that it has engendered some rather harsh opinions along the lines of... If they are so happy and get along so well then there must be something wrong and we must put an end to it....
Ignore all attacks and insults and jealous shrews and keep strong- keep being who you are... because you are all WONDERFUL....
Damn the torpedoes.....and welcome with love
love,g0 -
Hey Vickie,
I had my surgery oct.03. Lumpectomy/rads and yada yada. For the first couple years my surgeon kept me coming back every 6 months. He was always way late, but very nice and funny so I endured the tardiness! Two minutes, a quick glance at the "scar tissue." The question "have you had your mammogram?" And I'll see you in 6 months. I asked my Onc at the last visit if there was any reason that I had to still see the Surgeon every 6 months. He said he didn't see any reason for it, unless I needed him again for something.(gotta love those remarks!) I too was (and am) so sick of doctors, blood work and etc. Actually, I see my Onc. in Feb. and feel quite apprehensive this time. I'll go into that another time!!
Good luck,
Denise0 -
OMG Shirley,
Nightmares for me tonight after reading that!!!!!!!!!! I live in the boonies (kinda) and can handle almost anything but MICE! I don't care if they are smaller than me, if they are scared of me, or if they are alive or dead. Just don't let me see them!!!!!!!!
Denise0 -
Shel,
I believe it's called Denial....If they don't acknowledge or talk about "IT" then "IT" didn't happen. My family was supportive during surgery, rads, and recovery. However, like many others...........to them the surgery and crap is over so I must be fine!!
I feel worse now than I did after initial treatment!! No one understands (except us). My Daughter is supportive, my mom worries (especially since some other wierd stuff this fall), my Son cares, but doesn't say much, and my Husband who is quite understanding and helpful doesn't have a clue about the "after effects." I'm sure everyone is tired of hearing what hurts today....I'm tired of having the aches, too!
Hold in there and we can all be thankful that we have each other!!
Hugs,
Denise0 -
Denise...oh thank you...I am so sick of doctors and tests that just the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. I so need a break.
I don't have breasts so a mammogram is pretty much out of the question LOL...Yippee!!!
Been a rough day here at work...sad day...talk to you all later
Love
Vickie0 -
Hey ladies! This is Rachel/RoxwoooodAgain. I was the person who said I'm testing this out, why can people who aren't registered post here". Well, when I logged out, to see if it was really doing this (which it is) I can't come back in as RoxwooodAgain. Weird, cuz I always use the same passwords etc. And I'd just gotten a new avatar with the dolphin too.
Anyways, I've checked the other posts, and none of them seem to allow unregistered users to post in the forums. It seems like a fluke in the system. Anyways, my curiousity got the better of me, and now I'm yet another identity. I've emailed administration to ask to get back in as RoxwoooodAgain.
Chemosabi-come on, I've told you long ago, I'd trade houses with you for a week, anytime you want. Just need about 6 weeks notice to clean the place up and request it off from work. I live about 11 miles from the Gulf of Mexico. Nice drive down there. I just found out we live 14 miles from Rob & Amber, the reality folks from Survivor, Amazing Race etc etc. I hated Rob in the first Survivor (Marquesas) but loved how he and Amber came out as the final two in Allstars. I know, he's a turd, but he just grew on me. They're gonna be on Amazing Race All Star version which is coming on soon, maybe next month. Also, they're bringing back Uchenna & Joyce (who I liked alot) and the couple from Kentucky, Dave & Mary. I am from the same area they came from, and I hope Mary don't act a fool this time. She was so mean to Dave in the last one. Okay, that's all the news I have, been off work 6 weeks, post abd. hysterectomy, going back in tomorrow!!! Mixed emotions on that one...thankful for the opportunity and physical/mental ability but I sure loved being at home with my family!
I still read y'all and go to the hormone thread, when I come by. Got the A/C running Chemosabi, and would love to be out in the snow right now. SERIOUSLY!!0 -
Hi all,
It's another dreary day in the neighborhood. I wonder if we will ever see the sun again?? At least it's not snowing! It's way too warm, although they are calling for colder temps this week. What happened to winter?
Shel - I agree wiht NS and Ginny. I am one of those people who was really strong all through tx and I never b*tched and moaned. I think when we are like that the people around us think that it's no big deal since we aren't making a big deal about it. Sometimes I think I feel worse now. I don't complain too much about body aches and stiffness anymore. I tend to think that no one wants to hear me, so I just shut up and keep it all inside. The only problem with that is it eventually explodes. Sometimes I think I should have complained a little more. I will say that my DH was incredibly supportive. He has put up with all my crap for 36 yrs. He was definately my rock. Just know that you can vent to us. No judgements here!!
Shirley - Good Lord!! That snake sounded like a whopper! I don't mind snakes very much, but I absolutely hate spiders! I don't care how small, I will pound them into oblivion.
Tracey - When we were in Yellowstone last summer, all we wanted was to see a grizzly. Didn't
. We have black bears in the area sometimes. And tons of deer. We have wolf spiders also. I really HATE them!!
Vicki - Loved the bear in the driveway story. You're lucky you guys weren't hurt. Try not to freak out over your dr appts. They just want to make sure everything is ok with you.
Nicki - Bears win! They really deserved it. They haven't gotten this far for a while, have they?
Cheryl - Thanks for your support. I know that I'm not the only one with SE from Arimidex. My onc just doesn't want to be bothered with them. I think they are afraind we won't want to take the meds if they tell us all the unpleasant SE. And I agree that it is still a fairly new med and they don't know all the SE yet.
Ginny - WTF!! Your sister sounds like a real charmer! If my sister had said those things to me, she would still be diggin' my shoe out of her butt.
Cheryl,Cy - Thank goodness for the new water heater! Hot water is a good thing!
I went out today and bought a swing set for my twin grandaughters. They will be 3 on Sat. I can't believe I'm old enough to have grand children, yet here I am with 4! That's my 18 yr. old brain talking again. Where did the time go?? Speaking of time, it's time to go do laundry. Bye gals! 0 -
Ginny & Shel, I know how bad it hurts when our own families can't pull their head out of their own butts long enough to at least acknowledge what we're going thru/what we've been thru. My own mother, who I travel to see at least yearly (700 miles) refused to come see me (no she isn't physically or mentally disabled). One of my old friends since forever lives near my mom. She asked/literally begged my mother to come see me. all she had to do was get in the car with my friend and ride down here. It was Thanksgiving, I was on chemo & I was so scared that my 12 year old son wouldn't have anyone to raise him, that I was going to die. (his father is already dead, he don't get along with his stepfather and the only family we have is 700 mile away). My mother wouldn't come see me, told my friend "I can't stand to see her sick". OMG, that hurt so bad. None of my sisters came to see me (although one of them brought her boyfriend down for vacation a few years before bc, guess I'm a cheap trip to see the Gulf of Mexico, free lodging and free food, free transportation to see all the sights). Oh yeah, right in the midst of it all, my sisters boyfriend called to tell me they had "a scare, they found an area on my sisters mammogram" it turned out to be nothing, not even biopsied. Yeah, real dramatic!!! all the while I'm sitting here bald, sick, unable to work and praying to live to raise my child. I had a hard time mustering up sympathy for the "scare", but did my best. What I realized was these people are the same people they have always been. I guess I thought bc would turn them into someone else, just for awhile. I thought maybe they'd come see me, offer to come down and help me, dammit anything!! My mother would go as long as a month without calling, one sister never called, the other one called a few times and after I had to listen to her boyfriend moan "about the scare" I quit answering the phone if she called. None of my uncles called. One aunt called and one aunt sent me $100, right out of the blue. It was so sweet, and badly needed at that time. What I did get was wonderful support from friends at work, from my church and from the ladies at this site. Each person/area gave me different things that my life lacked. The ladies here gave me support, information, let me moan and whine without judgement. The people at work gave my whole family a wonderful Christmas, my son had more for Christmas then he's ever gotten or ever will get. They made me get out of the house when I wouldn't talk to them, wouldn't answer the phone, they never gave up on me. It was a huge turning point in my recovery! They loved me, even with a bald head, and made me love me, bald head and all! My church family gave us Christmas dinner, came to visit, prayed over me so much I never felt that I had to lift up a prayer, I knew "they had it covered". They knew my chemo schedule as well as I did. I felt their presence and support constantly. So, I was given all that I needed during the hardest times. And it came from sources that I hadn't expected!
I knew I had bc in July 04, right before our vacation scheduled to see my family. I never told them anything, just waited til I got the biopsy results and it became official. We had a great time, enjoyed my vacation, and nobody was the wiser. My DH & I were the only ones who knew what was coming the day after I got back home from vacation. It was almost like I knew to hold back that information during the vacation, just in case I was blown off or didn't get the support I needed. It would be easier to stay in denial, delude myself into thinking I would have gotten suppport. It still hurts, but I'm trying to let it go, it's who they are, who they will always be, and I believe I will always be given just what I need, it will just come from various sources. Thanks for reading. Nobody else knows how this feels. 0 -
Thanks for all the compliments on my hair!
(((Sheeeeeellllllllll)))...keep on keepin on girl, you are destined for something wonderful, I can FEEL it!!! I know what you mean...people who havent been there dont understand all of the feelings that go along with being dxd, even after treatment. Im sure they mean to be helpful & supportive, and if not, dont expect it from them then. I walk among the unenlightened as though I have a secret, which I DO! Its called STRENGTH...POWER...VICTORY!!!!!
Lini....how the heck are you...havent seen you in a long time!
Nicki...my friend...no jumping out of chairs, thats how you hurt yourself LMAO....I LOVE string cheese!!!
g...seeing my face made your day??? What a nice thing to say!
Christine...thyroid surgery??? Where have I been? Hope all is okay.
Jeannie....(((artisan breads))) (((tomatoes with stems))) (((fruits OUT OF SEASON lol))) I know EXACTLY what you mean!!
Deb...thanks for the kind words! Always look for your rainbow hat av so I can read your posts...you have a way with words that is so relaxing (I KNOW Ive told you that before)...
Jan...not only enjoy the good food, but the food that they didnt like lol!
Tracey...not too too much snow right now, but around -10 so a little chilly (hit -20 last week). I would suspect you have much more snow your way.
Vicki...a pair of big girl panties for you...
Hugs to all, especially those I missed,
Peggy0 -
thanks to all, for the words of wisdom.
i've had a day from hell, so i'm throwing on the flannel jammies, making a tea, and pouting lol!
i went for utz today and the radiologist requested "stat mri"..........so, tomorrow is another day of tests and worry and life with BC.
not to mention that i completely screwed up with my ex over this past weekend...............i could use a break from life, so i booked a couple more trips to the keys, but in the meantime, i'm stressed beyond belief!..........on the upside, i got a fabulous job offer in homestead, and i'm having a real estate agent come on friday to consider putting my house up for sale. if the mariner's hospital comes through with a decent package for healthcare, we're outta here and hopefully off to a bit of happiness and peace!
i really don't think i can endure much more sh!t.........i'm so tired of fighting for everything that means something to me, so i'm hoping to just leave all the idiots behind and start all over again!
eventually something or someone is going to go "my" way right?
good lord i'm in a pissy mood aren't i? i'm just so very, very tired of this complicated, unfulfilling, unloved existence............better go make that tea and cozy up to a cheerful movie lol!
thanks for listening..........i'm discouraged today. but tomorrow is a new day..........hope that mri says "it's all good"..........wish me luck!
shel0
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