TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS
Comments
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Shel--
All of the divorced ladies here will tell you that we all went thru stages early on where we wished for our exes to come back home---it's The Devil You Do Know vs. The Devil You Don't Know syndrome. I can only ask you what my therapist would ask me when I was feeling that way-----"just what are you missing?" It's a reality check and I didn't charge you $100 an hour for it! Forced me to think about the lying, cheating, etc. and put things in perspective.
I can understand why you are feeling that way right now---a mets dx at the same time has got to be devestating and has thrown your life into even more turmoil but stay grounded in what got you to the point of separation in the first place. If he had any interest in counseling I might say something different but I don't recall you even mentioning it. The players and abusers always think it's their mate's "fault" and they don't need any help---HA! Also keep in mind that someone doesn't have to be hitting you to be abusing you.
You know we are all here for you to talk to. There is an unbelievable circle of support and warmth here whenever you need it. I hope getting a treatment plan together Tuesday will help you to feel a little more in control. If you can't do a day at a time, do an hour at a time. If not an hour at a time---then a minute at a time.. There is light at the end of the tunnel. And don't forget---as has been pointed out elsewhere here on the thread---that, as scary as it seems right now, bone mets can be controlled and managed long term.
Jeannie0 -
Shel-
It's the mom in me that can't help ask...Are you eating anything??? I'm worried about you physically as well as emotionally. I know you are so stressed you are not hungry, but please take the time to feed your body. I wish I had you here...I may not be able to fix much, but I could make food that would tempt you into eating.
Just remember, we are here.
Hugs and prayers
Deb C.0 -
Hello Circle Girls! Took me forever to look through all the posts since I was here last. I didn't take notes, so won't be able to respond to each one personally.
Shel I feel so bad for you. I don't have any words of wisdom that haven't already been said. Just wish there was something I could do. I went through a divorce once too, so I know where you're coming from there. Even though I was the one who kicked him out, I still wished at times he was back. I just had to remind myself WHY I'd kicked him out! I wasn't dealing with BC at the time though. My kids (8 & 11 at the time), my brothers & sister, and a really good friend helped me stay focused thank goodness. We're here for you, you know that. You are a survivor!
Sounds like there's a lot of flu and other cr@ppy stuff going around the circle! Hope everyone feels better soon! I'm feeling more normal the last couple days thank goodness. And I get my flu shot this week!
It was cold here this morning! We even started a fire in the fireplace today. Not sure how cold it got, but the truck window was frozen shut this morning!
Nicki - It was pretty nippy doing the fish fry yesterday, but the worst weather held off until we were done cooking. The fish was really good, and Doug & I made Southwest Ranch beans, fried okra & jalapeno, and several pots of biscuits to go with it. Everyone had a great time! And the beer was free while we were cooking. lol! Oh, and I got a recipe for a dip thing somebody brought that I thought was awesome. I'll have to post it on the recipe thread.
Vickie - your hair looks great! And I love the blue robe & slippers - such a pretty color!
Good luck to everyone this week - chin up! Ronda0 -
Shel, catching up on everyone's post and I sure don't have any words that can make your world OK again. Everyone has pretty much covered anything that I can say. I pray that when you read the post following yours, that you know you aren't alone. Are we there to give you a hug or hold your hand, no, but you are in our hearts and prayers and are getting hugs just as if we were. Just close your eyes and think about us, feel us now?
I guess maybe I missed something from not feeling to well my self but I didn't realize you were having problems or test. Was the mets found on a scan or chest x-ray and what is scheduled next. Dearest One, I know you feel defeated at the moment. Breast cancer does that and so does a cheating or uncaring spouse and to handle more than that at this point sucks us down to the pits of despair. Shel, one day at a time, even just a half day at a time right now if that is what it takes. You are a lovely, caring individual and I know you have friends and family to which you are a very special lady. Facing a divorce hurts, even when they cheat and you know it and deep in your being you know it would never work if you let them in your life again, it hurts and for me it shattered my feeling I had anything to offer. Breast cancer shattered my feeling of "being feminine" - but I am OK. You are OK. Those things have changed many of us here, made us stronger. You are stronger from the journey of diagnosis and reconstruction and from taking charge of your personal life. As many here have said, the news of mets sucks, it isn't fair!!!! It also isn't a death warrant. It is Ok to cry here, to scream it isn't fair - it isn't, to need to be wraped in the loving care of friends. That is what is so great about coming here - you don't have to do this alone. Take our hand - it is the warm,loving, caring, hand of friendship.
Oh, Shel, dear one, as Deb C. said we know it is hard to eat but please do try. Does Deb need to send you one of those delicious deserts she always mentions?
I pray the love and friendship here gives you strength and courage as you travel through the days ahead.
Gentle hugs and blessings, Brenda0 -
All of you said everything so well...
Shel, I have to tell you - I LOVE BEING SINGLE. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!
(they don't call marriage an institution for nothing you know!)
Did I mention that bone mets are the most treatable???
I did?
oh.
Well in case you forgot.
THEY ARE!
And you are great and you are strong and the Circle Girls are simply NOT going to let anything happen to you!
Ok?
Ok.0 -
Shel, I am with all the rest of the CG gang in prayers for you, that you may have healing, physically, mentally and emotionally.
It is such a sad place here right now.
I just got an email from a dear friend who sent the following site on - celtic inspiration for women.
http://www.duirwaighgallery.com/inspiration_aknock.htm
Makes me want go out and play under the cabbage leaves - especially good when the rest of life sucks.
J.0 -
Dear Shel:
You are not alone-you have family and friends. We all wish to dry your tears and calm your fears. I can not imagine how you feel........but want to tell you that you will get through this. You have beautiful daughter and I know you will leave her with the strength to get through set backs in her life just by example. I am sorry that you have to deal with another issue in your life.
Let us know if there is research we can do for you while you are on holiday.
Love and hugs, Robin0 -
Shel, Puppy, please keep coming here cause with us, all 107? of us you are never alone!
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Good Morning everyone. Woke up late again! Guess my body is telling me I need the sleep. Its another cold, wet morning. The wetness is chilling my bones. The forest is now a carpet of fallen leaves and the trees are quickly approaching their nakedness. Got some huge logs on the fire. From a distance, the wagon circles look awesome.
Yes, it has been difficult this past week-end. So many more women need our help. So many are sad and fearful. I dont venture out much, but I did yesterday. I read the our dear TBYTES now has brain mets. And Shel: well your news has me shellshocked. How can one be stage 2 one Wednesday and stage 4 on Saturday? It blows my mind way far away!
Well, already, my time is up. Got to get ready for work. Im hoping everyone has a wonderful day. Get your horses saddled, we have lots to do. Lots of support to give.
For me, today reality check comes back. Gotta go get my port flushed and have blood work done. Oh how I hate those tumor markers! But Im feeling positive, so hoping no news will end up being good news.
Coffee is on!
Nicki0 -
I would like to add another tent to the circle. "kick ass tent" where you can break things, scream, box and do whatever you need to get your frustrations out. The walls are padded so you won't get hurt. I made it extra big for our sisters are many that need it right now. Inside is a picture of the "beast" so we can kick it's butt. When you're finished there's a table with allways filled margaritia's and chocolate cake. xoxo
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Shel, I'm sorry what you're going through. I wish I was your next door neighbor so I can always be there for you. xoxo
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Nicki-sending positive thoughts for your blood work!
Theresa - good idea on the new tent, including the refreshment table!
Hoping for a good week for all the circle girls! Ronda0 -
OK circle girls... I need a boost to get me through the next two days. I've had a touch of a stomach bug that has kept me from sleeping well. I only have two more rads to get through...that means just one more trip to Anchorage. I know I can do it, but my skin looks like something that is ready for a halloween freek show. It actually looks like it is disolving!
Have you ever watched an ironman triathalon? The people swim across the ocean, ride bikes for like a hundred miles and then run a marathon??? Well...that's how I feel. Like I'm shambeling forward on weak legs. Even though the end is in sight and I am supposed to be jumping for joy, I'm just tired and sick of it all.
Who was it a few days ago that said this was like being pecked to death by ducks?? They were SO right.
OK...griping done for today. I need to get the kids out of bed and get everyone moving forward for the day.
Wagons Ho
Deb C.0 -
Just catching up after working the weekend.
Shel, everyone has said it so well, add me to the group hug and prayer circle.
DebC, almost done and the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT a train. Thinking of you and glad you won't have to spend long weeks away from your family again. Gentle hugs so I don't hurt your rad burns.
Cool morning this morning, but sunny. It will be a nice day. Hope it doesn't snow next weekend as son and I are off to the first speed skating meet of the year, such defines my winter!
Nicki, positive thoughts for your blood work.
Love the idea of the new tent, some days just need a venting place. Make sure there are some 'virgin' drinks available for those of us with allergies!!
Good day to all.0 -
Go DEB go DEB. Here's my cheer for you. 2 more left, come on sister the finish line is near. You're almost there. Here I'll carry you. xoxo
Lynn, maybe some smoothies??0 -
Smoothies are good. and good for me too. Up here we have Tim Horton's that has 'Hot Smoothies'. Very good.
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OT Ladies
http://www.helpfindtrenton.com/Trenton-flyer1.pdf
Above is a link to a flyer for Trenton if anyone is interested in printing and posting it. No news lately...sadly.
Trentons new website is
www.helpfindtrenton.com
Thanks ladies and I'll be back later.
Love
Vickie0 -
Hey Gals, Just a quick hello to let you know I was thinking about you all. I'm feeling more positive and ready to move to the outter circle. Wagon is ready with extra warm blankets. Thanks for letting me stay in the inner circle until I got strong enough to move outward. Lisa
NS- I wanted to especially say thanks to you for inviting me here and helping calm my fears. Your words mean more to me than you can imagine.
LT 0 -
good morning ladies.. errr i should say afternoon,
wow went back to bed after getting the kids off and slept till noon its been a long time since i have done that!!!
finally feeling better from the flu!!!
hope all you flu suffers are feeling better!!!!!!!
xxxxxxx
tracey0 -
Just checking in quickly...taking a break here at work...have tons to get done but needed a dose of my "lifeline".
Shel...just sending you a warm hug today...EAT SOMETHING...ANYTHING...PLEASE.
Sheri...how did the mammogram go? Kept you in my thoughts and prayers...this IS going to be a better week for all.
Alaskadeb...one more to go!! You are at the finish line and will be DONE!! No more "missing your family". The burns will heal. Trust me about that one...I was totally cooked!
Ronda...thank you...the robe and slippers came from my sweet daughter in Florida. She decided I needed to be a flashy mom (not that I have anything left to flash LOL)
Baldeagle...I loved the link you posted...added it to my favorites...thank you.
T-girl...I love the idea of a kick ass tent! Can I be first? Actually I think Shel needs to go first and we can supply her with lots of things to smash and burn.
Tracey...sounds like the flu is leaving you! Hopefully it will leave all in our circle and soon.
I noticed that Mena has been under the weather too...adding her to my thoughts and prayers along with everyone here.
Debbyfive...hang in their...you are protected here.
Missing out on so many but have to get back to the job and I will check in later.
Hugs all around
Vickie0 -
NS: I cant wait for the wagon trains to ride.
Nicki:thanks for calling me a role model.You are so sweet and kind and I want to thank you for that.
Shel:Did you get my pm? I am so sorry for what you are going thru.I am especially sorry for the mets.I had no idea.We will fight our mets together.Being alone is better than being hurt.When I was 16 i fell in love for the first time.When it was over i thought i would die,then after about a month or so i realized something the pain was almost gone.Its a funny thing about pain,it gets a little better each day.So wipe your eyes,look deep inside and realize you are going to be the winner when it is all over.You will not be alone.are you kidding,with your personality and heart someone would be very lucky to have you.So let mike kiss where the sun dont shine.You have cried enough.I understand about begging him to come home.If I had a dime for every time the evil I am married to threatned to leave me and i would cry and beg him not to i would be rich.I reach a point to where I realized it was just idle threats.So next time he did that i told him to hit the road.well needles to say he stopped threatening.
Now i tell him to get out and he wont go.
Know we are all here for you.You pm's have brought me much joy in my times of sadness,so see what a great person you are.Dont make me come up there and set a fire just to get the fireman back.:)..Remember this I love you and I am praying for you..0 -
i forgot to mention that the pain was terrible when I got divorced the first time and I was the one that wanted it.I begged him to come home also.
But that was 18 years ago and it took a while for that pain to end but it did i just had focus on myself and my kids.and that is hard to do when your heart is breaking.
We are all here for you hon.
Lets start a kick DH ass tent.I cant wait to see the wagon trail come up my driveway i got a big front yard so we can park em all there even the spa bring it to.Dont know what and dont care what the neighbors will think.We will whup up on them also.Great idea girl..0 -
you guys are frigging incredible!
i can't begin to tell you how your support is helping me rise above!
i'm going to post a lengthy story later.......right now i have to go have a hotub and try to relax.
i'm going to even attempt some crackers or a piece of toast.....wish me luck, the crackers i tried yesteday got stuck in my throat and then turned my stomach.
i'm down from 113lbs to 100lbs.......gotta love the "mike diet"........i've been on it many, many times.......it is very effective and quick......but i don't recommend it as a repetitive diet aid lololol!0 -
Shel,
Good to hear from you. If the toast get stuck, try some aplesauce - warmed a little in the microwave and a touch of cinnamon if you fancy that. It should slide down easier.
Wish I could send you some of the homemade chicken soup that is sitting on top of my stove.
J.0 -
Shel, I did the "Bill Diet" went from 135 to 98 in two weeks! Not a good diet. It took me a lot of years to get the weight back on. What pulled me out of it? My daughter! My love for her saw me through. And beleive me you will pull through this too! Keep working on the crackers and try some 7up to go with it.
Niki, hope this port flush and blood work went well.
Deb get those last rads done so you can start healing!
Is was dark and foggy when I left to circle the camp this morning, but turned into another beautiful day.
The back is hurting again tonight so I won't stay on long. The hubby has put more wood on the fire and it's nice and toasty!0 -
OK girls...snack time. I made smoked salmon cream cheese spread and cut up a good sourdough. I also opened some yummy pickles, both sweet and dill. The cheese tray is overflowing and I sliced up some awesome moose polish sausage. There are good rye crisp and good old ritz crackers. I have the fire all stoked, the wooden Adirondack chairs pulled close.
Come join me for some snacks; I slept ALL afternoon so I may be up late.
Deb C.0 -
i'm lol........my dad gives me the BEST moose "kielbassa" every year......we beg for more!
of course i'm a beggar lol!0 -
YUMMY! YUMMY YUMMY for my tummy!
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Moose Kielbassa sounds like it comes from Winnepeg.
J.0 -
Shel - I'm so glad to see you post, and sounds like you are doing better! You can pm me any time if you wanna bitchabit, cause I've been where you are. Anything I can do to help, I'll do. You go girl! Ronda
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