Take our poll: How are you feeling as we near the New Year?
I WANT MY MOJO BACK!
Comments
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So.........how did it go?
Muffet0 -
Seems like most of you have men in your lives. For the rest of us, there's always Susie Bright's erotica and a good vibrator. I can have an orgasm, even though there's not much moisture. I don't put it inside, just on the sweet spot. I'm also in the "use it or lose it" camp. Hope I'm not being too graphic for this list... I apologize if I have.
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It's been awhile since I last posted here... and awhile since last &^%$%^^& with my DH
All the planning last time out just left us both nowhere.
Well, tonight after my shower, I invited him to the bedroom. He asked "WHY?"
I raised my eyebrows up and down... and we both sort of laughed.
Not that I was feeling sexual... heaven knows that doesn't exist... but feeling alittle playful.
Played awhile, then took out the astroglide before I got irritated. Was much more comfortable, no pressure... and no pain. Then straddled and rubbed without penetration [of which would still kill me, tear me apart... never mind the fear].
He was pleased with the results. I was ok with it too. No big "O" on my part though. Was not my intention anyway. If I need that... I'll take care of it myself, much faster, easier and painless.
Went so nicely tonight... just might try it again in a few days, maybe even tomorrow.
Who knows... this could be the revival.
Diane0 -
Even those of us with men in our lives like the erotica and "power tools" from time to time. If not more of the time!
So, gals, my mojo is trying its best to wiggle its way back into my life. What happened?? I got off Effexor. Granted, the hot flashes are a little worse (well, hell, it IS summer, and hotter than hell here anyway!) but everything else is coming back to life.
I decided to wean off the stuff out of the blue. I realized I'd been on hormones (OCPs) before BC, then Effexor and AIs after BC. I didn't know what my body is capable of doing on its own with this menopause thing.
So far so much better. I like it.
Anne0 -
Diane,
Just wanted to let you know that I admire your courage in posting about such a sensitive subject. Your honesty has been so helpful as I can relate to the fear of pain and the pain itself. Who would have thought that such a pleasurable experience would have turned out to be so painful. I'm dealing with the same issues and appreciate your bringing to light your struggles.0 -
PLEASE NOTE: This is EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY graphic in it's language and subject matter, and could offend people. You have been warned! THANK YOU.
OMG,, I feel SO SORRY for men who are brought up in a culture that thinks SIZE MATTERS!
it's the same for WOMEN and BREAST SIZE.
"It don't mean a thing, if (you) ain't got that swing...."
to paraphrase. For me, anything OVER 6" (which, BTW, is considered "average" for men -- between 6 and 6-`1/2), has ALWAYS been MUCH too painful. I'm a big girl on the outside, but not so on the inside. I once met a man (OK, I know this sounds like the beginning of a joke, but it's TRUE! ;-).....) who was 11" X about 4"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I said to this very nice man, "Um, and just WHERE in my body is THAT supposed to GO????"
I figure half of him has never been "wet," to be totally graphic! CAN YOU IMAGINE!!!!!????
So, CLAIRE, please please, assure your knew Beau, that (if this is true for you) "the size of your penis makes zero difference to me, as long as we have a good time and enjoy each other!"
BTW -- I've found that men with: smaller penises (peni?), or bald(ing), or short, make up for what THEY think are things that aren't "attractive" with being some of THE MOST INCREDIBLE sex partners I've ever had the pleasure to enjoy!
CLAIRE: did he happen to mention his "width" as well as his length? For many women, THAT is more of an issue. For example, for me, I could NEVER handle a man who was too wide OR long! But, OMG, fingers and tongues are such WONDERFUL things!
TO ANY MEN READING THIS: Please take note of that LAST paragraph. Why? Because, well, EVERY WOMAN I KNOW has the SSAME beliefs!!!!! Basically, CLITORAL stimulation gets us going MUCH, MUCH, MUCH more so (and lots of it, thank you very much!), than penetration and intercourse.
Yes, there ARE women who are lucky enough to find extreme pleasure from intercourse, especially when the man enters her vagina from the back -- ie: doggy style, but NOT "back door!" WHY? Because this gives the man (or woman) the ability to continue to play with the clit while having intercourse.
Of course, as has been noted TOO MANY TIMES (sadly!) in this thread, even playing with our clits can be painful (for me, at least, don't know about everyone -- somethign to do with the Decadron, in my case -- perpetual yeast infection, or SOME type of infection, that no GYN can explain....ugh!), so even clit stimulation has to be EXTREMELY gentle, slow, and "teasing," for a long, long time, before I'm even "in the mood" to do anything else. Thankfully, my DH is, indeed, a "French Lover," and has learned a great deal, and is willing to take direction and also to express HIMSELF, with neither of us being uncomfortable about it.
"Fly me to the moon....."
GOOD LUCK CLAIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HUGS,
Connie C0 -
HELLO DEAR SISTERS/BROTHERS/ AND PARTNERS....
as an addition piece of info on LUBRICANTS, my Alfred and I have discovered that the "new" KY 2-in-1 MASSAGE OIL" is a BUST in the actual LUBRICATION department!
He said when HE used it himself, it was like using water -- which is pretty useless if trying to have "lubrication."
When he and I used it (on him), I found the same thing to be true .... and, it tastes HORRIBLE,GROSS, DISGUSTING!
sssooo..... Please, DON'T spend the $12.00 (approx) on this product for any "sexual enjoyment."
It MIGHT be fine for actual MASSAGING of the back, legs, etc., but NOT as a LUBRICANT, which they claim it to be.
Personally, I'm going to write to KY, and say that I've tried THREE of their products recently, and have had VERY NEGATIVE results / reactions from them.
That itsy, bitsy bottle of "KY WARMING GEL" (a fortune) = usless.
This "massage/lubricant" = useless.
and one other, which I threw away, but I'm sure I can find when I look in the store.
So, that is my latest on the "testing" side of products, for now.
Will report in later!
love and hugs to everyone!!!
CONNIERC
"If you have sensative skin on your vulva and clitoral area -- the exterior areas -- I am RETRACTING my advice to use "FINALLY" -- it burned me so much, we had to stop to wash it off me. "0 -
Confusion, performance anxiety, fear, hell I don't know. He called and said he wasn't going to be able to make it over. Something about drinking to much and driving...
I swear he sounded afraid.
It was just as well, I fell asleep on the couch while I was waiting and was in such a perfect deep sleep because it was raining and there was thunder and lightning and both my dog were snuggled up against me because they were afraid!
We are supposed to get together this week some time.
I'll keep ya posted! He better hurry... I'm horny!!
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Quote:
Connie wrote"
tell him "the size of your penis makes zero difference to me, as long as we have a good time and enjoy each other!"
That is exactly what I told him when he told me about his size. He never mentioned girth... I didn't think to ask.
I dated a guy (very briefly) that used to joke that he could put 10 donuts on his penis... he really could! He was long and wide. He understood his limitations and was a very gentle lover. Still a very good friend!
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I have to agree. I have not liked ANY of the K-Y products I have used. I guess I'm glad they don't make condoms... can you imagine the number of children that would be out there...
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Dear Claiire!
OMG, you are SUCH a hoot! LUV YA, LADY! big hugs from Beantown!
Ten doghnuts, huh? OMG! I'm just going to have to go to Dunkin Donuts and buy a donut and take a measurement, just to see what that equals! This is a hoot and a half!
So, since SEX is the main topic of discussion on this thread, who else out there has "encountered" overly-endowed gentlemen? Or underly-endowed?
the "least-endowed" (penis-wise) gent I ever met was 3" fully erect. But, as I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, he has learned MANY WAYS to "make up" for what he considered a "deformity."
In some ways, I imagine men who ARE very "less endowed" would have many of the same feelings we, as one / no breasted women have -- or, at least, some of them.
Low self-esteem, afraid of the whole dating scene, not wanting to take their clothes off, afraid to be ridiculed by a partner, major intimacy issues.....
Tho, I don't imagine they have ANY problem "getting aroused" or "being lubricated," as we (or most of us!) seem to have.
This will seem EXTREMELY STRANGE to many of you, but due to my severely dysfunctional family, my mother and have (in the past) were more like sisters than mother and daughter. So, when she found a good "toy," she would tell me about it, and vice versa.
Yah, I know, many of you have just freaked out, just as my DH Alfred did when I told him this.
Well, mom and I would share our sexual expertise with each other -- things she had done, obsticals for me to avoid, things she enjoys which hold ZERO to NEGATIVE interest for me, blah blah blah.
One of these has to do with OUR problems, as BC women.
She went through menopause, and basically did not know it, except for the fact she no longer had her menstrual cycle. BTW, here's a funny: their had been a HUGE sale on SUPER, EXTRA STRENGTH TAMPAX, so she bought, gosh, 25 huge boxes of them.....and never had her period again! LOL! LUCKILY, I have a friend who has a horrible time with her cycle, and goes through one of those in about a half hour -- so I was able to save HER mucho money by giving them to her.
Ssssooo..... my mother never seems to have gone through the "usual" symtoms of menopause: headaches, mood swings (hard to tell, with a bi-polar person, in any case!), vaginal dryness, lack of desire, etc.
Her ONLY problem was that she did not have a partner at that point. Except for her toys.
About ten years later, she had to have a hysterectomy,. which NOW she claims was due to cancer -- which was NEVER, EVER mentioned at the time, but she likes to "re-write" history to make HER life more dramatic, especially if mine is, in REALITY, more "dramatic" than hers. Wow, sorry, wish is wasn't, I'd be happy if it weren't....
She spent THREE MONTHS, in bed, unable to walk from bedroom to bathroom, due to her dizziness, she couldn't focus or funtion mentally, she had to have me run the family business during that period, but, to my knowledge, NEVER had "hot flashes / cold sweates / night sweats" as those of us who have had chemo-induced menopause.
After 3-mos of this, "they" finally figured out she needed HRT -- and things smoothed out. TG!!!!
But, NOW, she claims that she DID have flashes/sweats/etc., since "I" am now complaining of them. And also, that I should be able to function JUST FINE mentally, since millions of women (all women!) go through menopause and continue to function.
Well, trying to tell a women who has dementia and is out of touch with reality that "I" can NOT take HRT, as she did, to "clarify" my mind - well, I might as well hid my head against a brick wall, for all the good it does.
Suddenly, years later, she's telling me she "still gets all these symptoms" -- which she never had to begin with!
SORRY, WENT OFF ON A TANGENT. Living with a person like her will do that, sorry my friends....
The MAIN reason I was talking about her, was / is that she DOES NOT use any lubrication, and uses both clitoral and vaginal toys, on a regular basis. (I hate to say this, but my mother is surely "getting off" a lot more than I am, now-a-days! DAMN!
....
So,I just wanted to share this with you. that a woman who went through "normal" menopause, then a hysterectomy, STILL has "normal" bodily lubricant. Why? It MIGHT be her HRT. She DID stop taking it for a while, when a few years back they said it was linkjed with BC.
But, since HER MIND would not function again (which she told me, at the time, but is, again, re-writing history, and denies it NOW), she went back on HALF the amount she had been on.
She still is having some "hormonal withdrawal" symtoms, but does NOT want to go back to full HRT (prednisone, I think, is what she takes).
A few days ago, I asked her, "Ya know, since your mind is "fuzzy," and you are dizzy again, and with your present health status (which is VERY, VERY BAD! .... which I did not say to her, but want YOU to know), why NOT go back to full strength HRT, so that at least your mind will be clearer?"
Of course, I realize that her fear of getting BC NOW is FAR greater than it was in the past, but her OTHER health problems will kill her long before breast cancer will, EVEN IF she got it. Sad to say, but true. Due to her diabetes, whhich she ignored for YEARS, and drank like a fish, ate whatever she wanted, and to an extant, still does (eat, I mean. Stopped drinking almost 10 years ago!!!), her kidneys are in failure, though she is not on dialysis yet....
So, I guess that was all I wanted to mention. About her still having full lubrication, with what she's been through, while many of us do not. To me, that seems to point fairly clearly that it is related to whatever happens during / after having breast cancer, tx, surgery, non-surgery, whatever, that seems to contribute to OUR problems of non-vaginal engorgement and lubrication. and I don't know, since it's too painful, to see/feel if my clit is "engorging" as well, since it used to (much like the penis does), and the labia swelling up with blood during arousal (since there IS NO arousal), and FORGET about FEMALE EJACULATION! That hasn't happened in years, at this point. And, oh, I really, really enjoyed that!
OK. If anyone wants to share the "measurements" of the "largest" and "smallest" man they have been with, that is one thing we could do.
TWO: Has anyone ELSE experienced that men who are lacking in what THEY think are things about them that "attract women" (baldness, pot bellies, short, smaller genitals), that THEY "make up" for it by being INCREDIBLY good lovers?
THREE: For those women who went through menopause BEFORE dx of BC, did your BODY react normally, sexually?
NOTE: For those of you who have women as partners, some of these questions are irrelevant to you -- except for the last one! Please forgive me for not bringing in any questions that would be of more interest to YOUR situations, as I ABSOLUTELY do not mean to leave you out of ANY part of our sisterhood -- heck, how could I / we? YOu ARE part of our sisterhood!!! (not that any of us wanted to join THIS particular club, eh?
....)
CLAIIRE: If I think of it, next time I'm with DH Alfred when he gets his coffee fix, I will buy a donut (one that holds together well!), and see just how long 10 of them would make. Course, thinking of the donut hole, he was a long slimjim, I would think! LOL! Tho, not TOO thin....
OMG, and men think WE'RE the "gentler sex?"!!!!????? So, so the wrong era.....
with love and hugs to my sisters, brothers, and their partners....
Connierc0 -
Hey Connie hahahahah....Perhaps you should start a "Mom Haters Thread"...omg you're so funny...but, come on...you've got to give Mom points for being so sexually, uh, let's see...blunt. Omg this is so funny....you know, the whole "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" thing....hahahah...
This is some interesting questionnairre you've got going on...I just want to say I never needed any penis to have an orgasm.
But I have read that the more average-sized joes can get and maintain an erection longer and better than their overly endowed counterparts...
I'm so glad I knighted you "Pleasure Dome Curator" way back when...you're doing your title proud...xo0 -
Hi Connie,
I always enjoy your posts so much! Anyway, back to the numb fingers...I'm on an anti-depressant, Cymbalta, that helps depression AND it's also used to treat peripheral neuropathy caused by diabetes, but my oncology nurse told me that neuropathy is neuropathy, no matter what causes it. AND Cymbalta doesn't have sexual side effects! They have a web site, just do a search for Cymbalta and it should come up. Maybe it would help you. I've been taking it since my BC dx and I had Taxol (almost 4 months out from it) and I only had a teeny bit of numbness under 2 of my small toes on my right foot, and that's improving slowly.
Hugs, Liza0 -
So, if someone *ate* the donuts off this guy would they be giving him a doughjob?
Btw, what part of the country was that in? I'm guessing they make the donut-holes bigger over there. Incidentally, does anyone know what becomes of all those orphaned donut-holes?
Greg
[when I get this "flip" it just means I *got* some recently--whoopee!]
P.S. Like the avatar? Not a bad likeness, actually, minus the cows...Quote:
I dated a guy (very briefly) that used to joke that he could put 10 donuts on his penis... he really could! He was long and wide. He understood his limitations and was a very gentle lover. Still a very good friend!
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Very funny!!
He is/was from Texas... Here the donut shops sell the holes...0 -
LOL, love the doughjob!
My dh is from Texas, I'd love to say more but I've not seen his in so long I've forgotten what it looks like.0 -
Hello my Sweet, Lovely Mena-sister! (kiss, kiss!),
I was TRYING to find the various posts you wrote about a certain lubricant that you had that was (at the time) for a free trial. I THINK it began with a "V."
I have bought, but not opened, a "Vagisil" item, and also did open a "REPLENS" bottle (woo-hooo -- 1/2 price!!!!! at Walgreens, for some reason, LAST WEEK....), and am pleased with the texture of the REPLENS when just applied and massaged between my fingers. Slippery, a bit oily, NOT a "thick" as our natural lubrication, but not like that "water" KY Massaging Oil!
But, if you could tell me the name of the "V" product, I'd love to see if I can find it and buy it somewhere.
Someone said they "had missed the sexual generation" -- open sex -- but, hey, not a bad thing! It's because of those of us who DID do that, I believe, tht we managed to introduce AIDS into the culture. And various other venereal diseases. Big bummer, eh?
But, for the while, it SURE WAS FUN! So, MENA, I have much too many stories I could tell, and probably get kicked off this board if I told them, so the rather "tame" suggestion of a "poll" as to who has encountered "the largest" and "the smallest" is pretty blase (for me, at least!) --= but, oh, what a FUN conversation, yes, don't you think it would be?
Course, I dont think we should include PRESENT PARTNERS, as that would be 100% mean and ugly. Nope, just the ones we've "enjoyed" and kicked out of bed and told them to go home before the sun comes up! HEE HEE ;-)
LOVE TO ALL, HUGS TO ALL!
Connierc --
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Texas?! I should have guessed--after all don't they say *everything's* bigger 'n Texas--bigger donuts, bigger holes, bigger...
The reference to donut holes just gave me an idea for a job only a *male* could perform: pushing out the donut holes (use your imagination!)
Greg
P.S. Would someone please tell the young ladies on the subway to stop dressing like "strumpets." It's killing us men who's wives aren't up for any fun thanks to a "friend" whose initials are BC...And if you tell me "don't look," you either have no idea how pervasive it is (there's nowhere else to look!), or you don't know men, lol.Quote:
He is/was from Texas... Here the donut shops sell the holes...0 -
Connie you crack me up.
I definitely think I would win for the best "both ends of the spectrum" stories.
I have had the biggest, and unfortunately, the smallest.
Way too graphic to spill here, but I truly belive that size ABSOLUTELY matters. I am so lucky to be with someone who is even in length and girth, above avg. but not too big, and knows how to use every inch of it, with enthusiasm and determination.
*grinning mischeviously*
do I dare say I got some at midnight and again at 7 a.m.???0 -
Greg wrote: So, if someone *ate* the donuts off this guy would they be giving him a doughjob?
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Oh man....I think that deserves an official welcome to the mojo group! I was ROTFLMAO when I read that! Too funny!! I do believe that Greg will be able to hold his own with this gang. Also, it is good to have a view "from the other side"!
Linda R.0 -
Hi Liza! I'm glad you get a kick out of my posts .... if we can't laugh at our situation, might as well give up, right? (though, truth be told, that thought has crossed my mind WAY, WAY too many times of late....sigh....)...
BUT .... THANK YOU for the advice on the CYMBALTA! As luck ould have it, my shrink, just today (Wednesday), wrote me a script for that , as I told her a few months ago that EFFEXOR was not changing my "moods" at all, and I still felt like a useless piece of dog poop smeared all over the sidewalk.
Sssooo, she slowly took my down on the EFFEXOR, and on Thursday I will start taking the CYMBALTA.
And it would be SUCH a BONUS if one of the "side effects" was wanting to have sex again! LOL!
My dear, dear, sweet, lovely man, Alfred, has been such an incredible lover, in all senses of the word. He said that he doesn't really "think too much about having intercourse, cause he KNOWS it hurts me, so HE'D get no pleasure from it."
And no, he's all MINE! lol!!!!
Of course, I've helped with other parts of my body, since the vagina isn't the only part that works on a man! Thank goodness! oh, oh, oh -- I unwittingly bought THREE ... tubs?... of "Sensual Chocolate with Applicator."
Here I thought I was buying chocolate POWDER and a POWDER PUFF. NOPE! Basically, Hershey's Milk Chocolate syrup with the STUPIDEST (hard edged!) plasted knifey thing, like a spread knife.
Well, we gave it the good old try....
first off ... make sure yo have time to take a shower AFTERWARDS! LOL!!!
Also, tie any hair you have up in a bun, or somethiing, BEHIND your head, if you're giving, um, head, as you WILL have chocolate sauce ALL over yourself -- face, up nose, in hair, etc.
Oh, and after THAT experiment, we decided he was due for "a trim." Out came the professional hair cutting cissors (sp?), and he now has a VERY neatly trimmed ... area. From top to bottom, so to speak! LOL!
BUT, be very, very, very careful, of course!!!!
OMG, I found the most WONDERFUL "kit" at Walgreens the othereday, for women who like to "trim" -- though that was not the wording they used. But the description of WHERE the trimming would be happening was pretty conscise. Even has a VERY delicate "moustache" trimmer (or at least, looks like the same as hubby has), for, from what I could understand, a COMPLETE smooth shave, even around the clit!
Me, I'm not too sure about putting ANYTHING "snipping or shearing" near MY clit, thanks! Though I WOULD be very willing to let Alfred do whatever artistic design he would like to trim off the bush. (did "I" say that? NEVER!)
OMG, I'm sure SOME of you ladies have gone the ENTIRE shaving route. A freind of mine gave me a product, called "Coochie Cream," which is supposed to help even the MOST sensitive skin have a smooth, bumpless, painless shave.
Well, so, I lathered myself up with this stuff, and VERY carefully shaved, and shaved, and shaved.
but, darnit, the skin STILL felt like it wasn't "smooth." So, I continued to shave and shave.
the next day, well, I could not move. Forget about peeing. Forget about undies. What I had THOUGHT was "not smooth" was actually SKIN, and I had shaved off a layer of skin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this was a few years ago, as a "Welcome Home" Surprise for Alfred, as he'd been gone away for a week working -- and, women, did it backfire, and bigtime!
Forget about THAT night -- it was WEEKS before I could have a romp in the hay. BUMMER.
OK, so, CLAIIRE -- back to CYMBALTA! Thank you, again, for your very timely advice! I know it takes a while to get "accustomed" to a new medication, and as long as it DOES NOT do to me what Wellbuterin did (literally make me pass out, anywhere, anywhen, even while bringing a spoon of food to my mouth!), as well as other NASTY, NASTY side effects (which, wow, they are only NOW learning about! -- What, I'm SO CONFUSED. I thought the TEN YEARS of "human trials" were supposed to discover these things, right? Then why did it take me only THREE DAYS to figure it out????? IDIOTS!).
CLAIIRE, I had SUCH a horrible time with Taxotere, primarily due to having JUST had a WRETCHED Spinal Fusion, where my L4/L5/S1 nerves we SO damaged, that once the Taxotere was injecte into the mix, I was LITERALLY having glass ground up constantly inside my feet, and COULD NOT walk! Same with NOT putting pressure on feet, but not AS bad.
I'm glad that I seem to be one of the FEW who has had such a HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE time with Taxotere -- and happy that YOU "only" had some effects on two of you toes.
Oh,hey, did you lose your toe / finger nails while on Taxotere? I lost 20 nails, all told! didn't hurt a bit, thankfully, as they were, well, just --- dead. And new nails had ALREADY started to grow UNDERNEATH the "old, dead nail."
I still have TWO (the two big toenails) that never fully fell off .... and now, a year later.... they are ALMOST fully grown out. I can still LIFT the nail away from the toe,just to freak people out, if I wanted to! HEE HEE1
Okey dokey, off to bed.
love to all, hugs to all, and I shall continue to wait to see what other women have to say about the "size" issue, if anyone wants to join in on it! LOL! Oh, again, brain has failed me, but someone said that, for them, SIZE DOES MATTER!
Hey, either way, whatever floats your boat, right ladies?!? Me, I'm a "clit" woman, while I WILL admit that, in better times, when DH had gotten me SSSSOOO hot, I'd _____ a fourposter bed!, we get on our sides, sort of at a 90 degree angle (I think, bad ith math!), and I would basically SLAM into him, WHILE he was still twiddling my clit, and I'd pinch one of my nipples so hard it would fall off, practically .....
well, if the neighbors didn't hear us, it would be because they are deaf! LOL!
Oh, I REALLY, REALLY want those days / nites back, so damn much! This is just so WRONG, WRONG, WRONG
Once again, I sign off to all .... with love and hugs to all my sisters & brothers-in-kind, as well as their partners....
Connierc0 -
PLEASE NOTE: Some highly sexual language used in this post, as well as descriptions of sexual acts, and foul language. Please do not read if you are offende by such (but it's not THAT bad....). THANK YOU, CRC
Hi Liza! I'm glad you get a kick out of my posts .... if we can't laugh at our situation, might as well give up, right? (though, truth be told, that thought has crossed my mind WAY, WAY too many times of late....sigh....)...
BUT .... THANK YOU for the advice on the CYMBALTA! As luck ould have it, my shrink, just today (Wednesday), wrote me a script for that , as I told her a few months ago that EFFEXOR was not changing my "moods" at all, and I still felt like a useless piece of dog poop smeared all over the sidewalk.
Sssooo, she slowly took my down on the EFFEXOR, and on Thursday I will start taking the CYMBALTA.
And it would be SUCH a BONUS if one of the "side effects" was wanting to have sex again! LOL!
My dear, dear, sweet, lovely man, Alfred, has been such an incredible lover, in all senses of the word. He said that he doesn't really "think too much about having intercourse, cause he KNOWS it hurts me, so HE'D get no pleasure from it."
And no, he's all MINE! lol!!!!
Of course, I've helped with other parts of my body, since a vagina isn't the only part that works on a man! Thank goodness! oh, oh, oh -- I unwittingly bought THREE ... tubs?... of "Sensual Chocolate with Applicator."
Here I thought I was buying chocolate POWDER and a POWDER PUFF. NOPE! Basically, Hershey's Milk Chocolate syrup with the STUPIDEST (hard edged!) plasted knifey thing, like a spread knife.
Well, we gave it the good old try....
first off ... make sure yo have time to take a shower AFTERWARDS! LOL!!!
Also, tie any hair you have up in a bun, or somethiing, BEHIND your head, if you're giving, um, head -- as you WILL have chocolate sauce ALL over yourself -- face, up nose, in hair, etc.
Oh, and after THAT experiment, we decided he was due for "a trim." Out came the professional hair cutting scissors (sp?), and he now has a VERY neatly trimmed pubic area, testes, scrotum, et al. From top to bottom, so to speak! LOL!
BUT, be very, very, very careful, of course!!!! Accidently (of course!) gave him the TINIEST of knicks with these VERY sharp scissors, and "I" was the one in complete tears, knowing I'd hurt him. THANKFULLY, it was less than a scrape, really, and actually had ZERO blood, but I was able to see where an itsy, bitsy piece of skin was removed ... from a testical! OMG!
OMG, I found the most WONDERFUL "kit" at Walgreens the othereday, for women who like to "trim" -- though that was not the wording they used. But the description of WHERE the trimming would be happening was pretty conscise. Even has a VERY delicate "moustache" trimmer (or at least, looks like the same as hubby has), for, from what I could understand, a COMPLETE smooth shave, even around the clit!
Me, I'm not too sure about putting ANYTHING "snipping or shearing" near MY clit, thanks! Though I WOULD be very willing to let Alfred do whatever artistic design he would like to trim the bush. (did "I" say that? NEVER!)
I'm sure SOME of you ladies have gone the ENTIRE shaving route. A freind of mine gave me a product, called "Coochie Cream," which is supposed to help women with even the MOST sensitive pubic skin have a smooth, bumpless, painless shave.
Well, so, I lathered myself up with this stuff, and VERY carefully shaved, and shaved, and shaved.
but, darnit, the skin STILL felt like it wasn't "smooth." So, I continued to shave and shave.
the next day, well, I could not move. Forget about peeing. Forget about undies. What I had THOUGHT was "not smooth" was actually SKIN, and I had shaved off a layer of skin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this was a few years ago, as a "Welcome Home" Surprise for Alfred, as he'd been gone away for a week working -- and, women, did it backfire, and bigtime!
Forget about THAT night -- it was WEEKS before I could have a romp in the hay. BUMMER.
OK, so, LIZA -- back to CYMBALTA! Thank you, again, for your very timely advice! I know it takes a while to get "accustomed" to a new medication, and as long as it DOES NOT do to me what Wellbuterin did (literally make me pass out, anywhere, anywhen, even while bringing a spoon of food to my mouth!), as well as other NASTY, NASTY side effects (which, wow, they are only NOW learning about! -- What, I'm SO CONFUSED. I thought the TEN YEARS of "human trials" were supposed to discover these things, right? Then why did it take me only THREE DAYS to figure it out????? IDIOTS!).
LIZA, I had SUCH a horrible time with Taxotere, primarily due to having JUST had a WRETCHED Spinal Fusion, where my L4/L5/S1 nerves we SO damaged, that once the Taxotere was injecte into the mix, I was LITERALLY having glass ground up constantly inside my feet, and COULD NOT walk! Same with NOT putting pressure on feet, but not AS bad.
I'm glad that I seem to be one of the FEW who has had such a HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE time with Taxotere -- and happy that YOU "only" had some effects on two of you toes.
Oh,hey, did you lose your toe / finger nails while on Taxotere? I lost 18 nails, all told! didn't hurt a bit, thankfully, as they were, well, just --- dead. And new nails had ALREADY started to grow UNDERNEATH the "old, dead nail."
I still have TWO (the two big toenails) that never fully fell off .... and now, a year later.... they are ALMOST fully grown out. I can still LIFT the nail away from the toe,just to freak people out, if I wanted to! HEE HEE1
Okey dokey, off to bed.
love to all, hugs to all, and I shall continue to wait to see what other women (or men!) have to say about the "size" issue, if anyone wants to join in on it! LOL! Oh, again, brain has failed me, but someone said that, for them, SIZE DOES MATTER!
Hey, either way, whatever floats your boat, right ladies?!? Me, I'm a "clit" woman, while I WILL admit that, in better times, when DH had gotten me SSSSOOO hot, I'd _____ a fourposter bed!, we'd get on our sides, sort of at a 90 degree angle (I think, bad with math!), and I would basically SLAM into him, WHILE he was still twiddling my clit, and I'd pinch one of my nipples so hard it would fall off, practically .....
well, if the neighbors didn't hear us, it would be because they are deaf! LOL!
Oh, I REALLY, REALLY want those days / nites back, so damn much! This is just so WRONG, WRONG, WRONG
Once again, I sign off to all .... with love and hugs to all my sisters & brothers-in-kind, as well as their partners....
Connierc0 -
Linda: That's EXACTLY my problem: for the past seven months that's practically all I've been doing (i.e., "holding my own!"). I'd like someone else to *hold it* (i.e., my wife, of course!) for a change!
A few more months like this and I'll be ready to write "The BC Husband's *illustrated* Guide to Masturbation--includes video clips on CD!" With tips on all your favorite techniques (and some new ones): right hand, left hand, no hands(!)
, etc. (soon to be a major motion picture, I'm sure).
Iodine: I can empathize: last time my DW and I were together and I put my hand between her legs she jumped so high she practically hit her head against the ceiling--not out of pain, but b/c she hasn't been touched there in so long. Which, in a way, makes me feel good, 'cause at least I know she's not entertaining the mailman while I'm at work, lol.
As for me, this thread has been very "edumacational:" I've learned that a) women can be as *raunchy* (and I mean that in the *best* way) as men, and b) like men, they also like to brag about their exploits. This is kinda like being allowed to hang in the women's locker room...
Lastly, the debate over size and whether it matters reminds of those old Miller Lite commercials: "Less filling. Great taste!"
Cheers!
GregQuote:
Greg wrote: So, if someone *ate* the donuts off this guy would they be giving him a doughjob?
-----------
Oh man....I think that deserves an official welcome to the mojo group! I was ROTFLMAO when I read that! Too funny!! I do believe that Greg will be able to hold his own with this gang. Also, it is good to have a view "from the other side"!
Linda R.0 -
I had to comment on a few things from your post...
first- for any ladies that want to trim... I always kept it bare down there, and that was the coolest thing about chemo- it was as smooth as a peach, and i was determined to keep it that way once my hair grew back.
I really wanted to know what the secret to getting a great shave was... so I went into a strip club, and pulled one of the naked girls aside, and asked.
Here's some great tips... First, you need VERY HOT water. Its important to open the pores so that the hair follicles stand up. Second, EXFOLLIATE. This is the tip I got from the pro's... it makes such a difference you will be astonished. Third, your razor is so important. I recommend venus vibrance, or mach three triple blade. SHAVE SLOWLY, against the grain of the hair.. which means you will go in different directions on each bikini line, and in the middle. Lastly, instead of using harsh lotions that irritate the skin, follow it up with aquaphor healing ointment.
Next- Food in the bedroom. OMG. my favorite topic. I think I could write a book on every toy I ever had, and all the mishaps I experienced, to save you other gals the trouble.
Food in the bedroom can get really gross. Not only does everything become a sticky mess, but stuff like whip cream -dairy products DO NOT MIX with body heat and sweat... plus frozen foods melt. Edible underwear is disgusting, and edible body paints will make you gag. One product that I do really like is called Blow- but it has tons of other names depending on the website. Its mint blow job gel, and it tastes good- not over powering, and it doesn't get sticky.
Connie- I hope your neighbors hear you loud and clear.. maybe it'll jump start their sex life. My guy lives in a co-op, and we got a letter from the apt below us...
It was so nice... they said they didn't want to feel like they were part of the action... lol... WE FRAMED IT.
(then we carpeted the bedroom)
on a different note- anyone out there with reconstruction and nipples, and what it was like the first time the nipples were played with???
I had my nipples done three weeks ago, and they are still healing, so no pulling/pinching/biting has been going on, however, I know its going to happen soon. My PS said not to worry, that they would hold up to anything, but I am definitely fearful of them being pulled...
any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Happy sexcapades to all.0 -
Beth,
Thanks for the shaving advice. I will try this approach. Since I"ve had enough real pain from bc, I'm not anxious to get waxed!
Re. the nipples, I haven't had any problem w/ them being touched during sex. I don't think we "used" them much until 3-4 months after the nipple reconstruction, though. At this point, I can say that I have full feeling in my entire breast, but no erotic sensation in the "New" nipples, of course.
I can't contribute much in the way of variety stories here, but two truisms seem to work for us: 1)practice makes perfect (i.e., the more we have sex, the more I want sex, if that makes sense), and 2)it's all in the head. Honestly, amazingly, I don't need what my dh so quaintly calls "go juice" that much now. And believe me, I still have hot flashes from chemopause and arimidex so it ain't hormones helping.
Hope you all have some funthis week
Nan0 -
Hi ladies (and gentleman)! I haven't posted for awhile, but thought I'd chime in. As a recap, I'm stage IV and dealing with much pain. My libido is practically non-existent and dryness has been an issue. Penetration=Ouch!
I tried out ZESTRA and was not impressed. It is all natural and an oil base. It does not have menthol or any of the typical ingredients to create a "tingling" feeling which is why I bought it. For me "tingling" always turns into "burning".
Anyhoo, it did nothing to increase sensitivity externally, but once some of it got inside.... the burning began! DH said it actually was a little uncomfortable for him too. Also keep in mind it is not flavored. The good news is you can send for a full refund if not satisfied. Boo hoo... I lost my receipt.
Ok, I also tried something called WHOOPIE CREAM from Fascinations. It is the world's tiniest bottle considering the price. BUT... you are supposed to use only a small amount. This one does have a little bit of menthol, but the sales clerk said the key ingredient is CAFFEINE. She says applied topically it increases the blood flow to that area.
Again though, it didn't really do much for me... except burn a little.
Finally, I did buy a bottle of Astroglide. It does work well as a lubricant, and a little goes a long way. BUT what I've found with every lube I've tried is that when they start to dry they get kind of sticky. Is it just me, or anyone else experience that? Anyone know of one that doesn't do that?
My poor DH is having to take care of himself just about all the time. I'll sometimes lend a "hand" or "go downtown" but with no libido, frankly it feels like a chore. The only time I wanted some recently was a night when I'd taken many pain pills and they for some reason really kicked in! DH was grateful considering it'd been probably more than a month since the last time.
Ah well! BTW for the ladies changing to Cymbalta, let me know how it goes. I'm on Zoloft right now for the hot flashes, and while I don't know that it's 100% to blame for no libido I'm sure it's not helping.
OHHHH!!!! I totally forgot! After reading the post on the Vibrance shaver, I made a beeline to the grocery store and picked one up. I love that it can do double-duty! Plus it's much cheaper than a vibe! I highly recommend it for women starting out before spending big bucks on an actual vibe.0 -
I went through "normal menopause" for 9 months before my doc put me on HRT a few years before I got BC. After I stopped the HRT I had mild hot flashes but that was all. I completed my BC treatment 3 years ago and my sex life has basically been as good as it was before BC. I think "normal menopause", even with HRT follow-up, is a whole lot different than the early menopause most of you are enduring. I have some vaginal atrophy (doc term), but it really does not seem to affect intercourse. I am pleanty wet. I know a gland called Barthalamews (sp?) gland secretes fluid when we gals are aroused, and mine seems to be working overtime. LOL Clit stimulation gets my gland flowing and I'm wet immediately. Anyway, I think most of we women who were already menopausal before BC do not face the problems you younger gals do. It seems to me the pharmalogical world could find a good substitute it they focused on it. If they can create a drug to make 80 year old guys hard, they can sure find a drug to make women wet, and it won't be some cream! We need something to release that gland.
Love this thread!
Carol0 -
I've been on cymbalta for about 5 months now and I have a huge sex drive and sometimes wonder if I am thinking about sex more than a normal man.
Almost every cute guy I see at the park or going down the street gets a 2nd look and I immediately start to wonder what he would be like... I need to get a new boyfriend fast!
I saw the saddest thing at Foley's (May's in other parts of the country) it is a pillow that has a shoulder and an arm and is in PJ's. It is a "boyfriend" pillow to rest your head on his shoulder and to give you that arm to hold onto at night. There was no price on the display and no one around to say how much "he" cost.
0 -
I find that the lubes get sticky also. Well, either that, or it mixes with what I naturally produce... cement.
If DH doesn't keep it moving, he might get stuck!
Diane0 -
After a disappointing night Sunday, I ordered the Hitachi magic wand.
What is cymbalta?
J0
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