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I WANT MY MOJO BACK!

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Comments

  • Jenster
    Jenster Member Posts: 25
    edited July 2005

    So did you get the delux $90.00 or something one with all the attachments? I need to know so I can make my purchase! And quick!

  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 74
    edited March 2008
    okay- some of you may think this is gross...
    but Jenna Jameson-- (the BIGGEST porn star in the country) did an interview that I happened to catch (or maybe it was the behind the scenes footage of the Jenna loves briana porn my guy bought this weekend)and she said never use lube. Use your own saliva. She said it was the best lube there was.
    I'm not sure if there are germ issues with this theory, but I tried it out this weekend. And without getting into too much detail- I tried out this theory in places that no man should ever go without lube... and I gotta tell ya- it worked like a charm.
    again...total try at your own risk disclaimer...but she is a pro.
  • Notsopuny5721
    Notsopuny5721 Member Posts: 17
    edited August 2005
    Methinks a group discount is in order. Someone should contact Hitachi...

    And what with all this talk about who got what dare I report that I got my first BJ since my DW's dx back in December? Until now, we've been playing it safe in consideration of her lowered immunity. Life is good...
    Quote:

    So did you get the delux $90.00 or something one with all the attachments? I need to know so I can make my purchase! And quick!

  • Bancroft
    Bancroft Member Posts: 14
    edited August 2005
    Here are some thoughts on sex post b/c....most of us are adults who have gotten into a routine with our sex lives- face it- it goes to the end of the days "to do" list.
    After the kids are sleeping and all the chores are done. This no longer works because we wre exhausted and simply turning to our lovers is no longer enough. We have to make dates for sex now...when we are not tired and work at the arousal with whatever works. We have to try new things. It is worth the effort of making sex a priority.
  • prayer
    prayer Member Posts: 3
    edited August 2005

    ok all you guys are scaring me. My husband and I have a great sex life. Have continued through everthing in life in the last 15 years including pregnancies. I have not had chemo yet and I am getting a little concerned about losing my sex drive. Does everyone loose it?

  • Jenster
    Jenster Member Posts: 25
    edited August 2005
    I'm half-way through treatment and I haven't lost my sex drive. My problem is more that the flesh is willing, but I'm just too tired. Sort of like when you have a new baby at home.

    I'm hoping that when the treatments are over and my energy is back, we'll be back to normal. Which is pretty good for two 40-something (I'll be 40 by then) kids after 21 years!
  • Bancroft
    Bancroft Member Posts: 14
    edited August 2005
    Did not mean to scare you, but as I said in my post I found that if you leave sex for the last thing of the day, it won't happen- bone tired and maybe feeling crappy with chemo and all...I have found that if I plan on sex as a "date" it id good.

    The other reality for folks is menopausal symptoms of lack of arousal and stuff....

    Bottom line if it ain't broke, don't fix it....
  • Poppy
    Poppy Member Posts: 9
    edited August 2005
    I was reading my dh's Esquire last night and on page 66 (the one with Bruce Springsteen on the cover) is a question: "I'd like to introduce toys into our sex life. Can you recommend a good toy?"

    The answer, straight from the "experts"...the Pink Pocket Rocket and they describe it as the "koala bear of vibrators", whatever the hell that means! lol Anyway, I thought that was funny since it seems to be a big hit here!!

    Erica
  • jhallinan
    jhallinan Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2005
    http://www.evesgarden.com
    I think this is the right address for a fabulous "pleasure" store in NYC that is high class and run by women. Purple pocket rocket with rabbit soft vinyl top. *****

    Replens is also a good everyday v. moisturizer. Expensive but, what I found was the general dryness day in and day out was pulling down my libido. You only have to use it once every three or four days. Just don't use two applicator tubes at the same time or within one or two days. I did for a sexy trip to see an old boyfriend and ended up with some very wet lingerie on the plane ride back from London!

    Love this thread - we need to take charge of our lives and happiness in every area. Now, I just need to find that lovely, younger man who wants to have a fun relationship. Now, that I've been "spayed" and turning 45 - but, look 35 - how is that for a personals ad? : ) I wonder - who will be interested in dating me? I won't be able to have kids and I'm not planning on going anywhere outside of the physical realm anytime soon but, don't men think about the risks of recurrence and death when they meet a woman who has had b.c.?

    JoyousATL
  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 74
    edited March 2008
    Joy- you are such an amzing women- anyone will be lucky to date you.

    I think the pocket rocket is the best vibrator to start with. It's little, and UNintimidating. If you get one and love it, I suggest moving on to a toy with different speeds-- it's a whole new world.
  • Candle
    Candle Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2005

    Okay I just popped into this site and WOW it got my attention. Went back and read page 1, enough to get the jest. I had a dbl mast 6/04 and am in my 2nd recurrence of bone mets. Just went off tamoxifen, but still on zoledex, so I'm forced into menopause. Had a very active sex life with hubby before and now it just seems the desire is low. I think about it but am just too tired. Plus the boobies played a big role in the foreplay before. I've had reconstruction (which I'm not happy with) but when you can't feel them.......How do you get past the lack of boobs?

  • Pharmmom
    Pharmmom Member Posts: 18
    edited August 2005
    Hi Candle,

    I have one fake boob@ I know what you mean. I liked my boobs! They were part of "everything". What I do now is (I had reconstruction) is wear something sexy a la Victoria's secret (there padded stuff is great) and I keep the bra part on as long as I need to. You know to feel more like me again. Anyway, it helps. Maybe you should give it a try. Good luck to you!
  • gracejon
    gracejon Member Posts: 13
    edited August 2005

    No sex, no nothing since diagnosis. Big part of foreplay was sucking of breasts. Scar sucking does nothing. Told my husband he could leave. I feel vacant! I now have no hope of ever getting back to being whole and think this all is a big fat blob of poop! Hot flashes and attempt at use of lube is messy and not a joy either. Bless you all for your ability to swing again. Hope something comes back!

  • Jenster
    Jenster Member Posts: 25
    edited August 2005
    Think of the loss of nipple sensation as a reason to find other erogenous zones. There are plenty others. Maybe not quite as intense, but good for foreplay nonetheless.

    That's what I keep telling myself anyway. )
  • mmfeelgood
    mmfeelgood Member Posts: 11
    edited August 2005
    I've been reading this thread for quite some time now. I'm 58, and single/divorced. I met a man one week before my biopsy. We still hang out every now and then, and he has been very supportive throughout, but...sex? no....not yet. I barely knew him when this happened, and he has been great...he said that if it was him, he knew that he wouldn't want someone pawing him at a time like this.I will have reconstruction in the fall...a lift/reduction on the good side, an implant on the other. I'm doing it for me...and the fact that I refuse to have my "social" life be over now....lol..I like sex too much I miss it, but am patient. The most this man does is kiss me goodnight at the end of the evening, and then he leaves. In the meantime, I mave a toy...named "Jacques"....(hehe - has an attachment called "The French Legionnaire's Mustache - hehe)...it's recommended by Dr. Ruth, and I figured that she MUST know what she's talking about....it's great....go to www.eroscillator.com ...and no batteries. Plugs in, long cord, never dies....great fun (with or without a man) ))

    Jan
  • jhallinan
    jhallinan Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2005
    Oh Beth,
    You make me laugh out loud! This isn't my FIRST toy - just a recommendation to anyone out there just starting out. I have a HUGE collection of ahem "items" and I had to mail a box to my best friend in Boston when I was first diagnosed. She is my "porn" buddy and I have her house key for the same reason. If anything ever happened to us (I was living in Providence at the time) I was supposed to go to her home and vice versa and remove the evidence. London also has some wonderful shops but, I was concerned about having my suitcase searched! Ha ha.

    JoyousATL
  • sammy6
    sammy6 Member Posts: 2
    edited August 2005
    First of all, I have to start by saying that I lost my MOJO due to an oophorectomy for my 8mm stage 1 grade 1 tumor. I think this is an outrage - none of my Doctors warned me about many of the side-effects and risks of ooph including the loss of MOJO. Definitely would not have done something so permanent if I had known about that immediate side-effect!!!

    Needless to say, here I am joining the MOJO quest with a vengeance. I've read about Zestra for Women a botanical oil that claims to increase sensation. Has anyone tried it??? Drugstore.com had a section called "sexual well-being" with a wide variety of products. Might be fun for you all to browse in your spare time. Get this - they have something called the Remote Control Vibrating Panty for $89.99. Apparently when your "thing has lost its zing" you can just don this lingerie and whenever nature would have kicked in to give you that "little tingle" as you are going about your day, you can just discreetly give yourself a little zap with the remote control!!!

    Good God Sisters, what have our lives come to???

    Another product that I might actually try is Kama Sutra pleasure balm which claims to heighten and prolong pleasure (and it's edible which is always a bonus).

    Can someone please tell me - are any of you actually having orgasms? I haven't seen much mention of the big "O". At 38 I pray I haven't lost mine for good.....

    Sissy
  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 74
    edited March 2008
    Just a sidebar-- the vibrating remote control panties are very loud, and just because something is edible- that doesn't mean it tastes good.
    Sissy I don't have experience with post oopherectomy, but i know some gals here will gladly help you.
    As far as the big O... not that i count, but i'm guessing I make it happen about five times a week. Using my vibrator is fast and efficient. It gets the job done and gives me a great release. My sex life is in full swing-- of course there's the fact that although my guy has seen me naked, and touched my reconstructed breasts, I generally have some kind of top on when we have sex. Its just a comfort thing for me while everything still heals. I think once I have my areolas tattooed I'll lose my top for good. I have great sex and great orgasms, and 100% of how I achieve them- is because I have told myself over and over that I DESERVE them. The release of endorphins during orgasm are great for the body and mind. Even if I'm not fully in the mood- because my mind is wandering to work and bills and life-- usually a back massage from my guy gets me going.
    I am so happy you are going after your mojo with a vengeance. My advice is to take a hot bath, shave, have the house to yourself, put on nice music, light a candle and climb into bed with some lube and a pocket rocket. A little date with yourself...
  • MargaretB
    MargaretB Member Posts: 771
    edited August 2005
    Ok Sissy, I've been reading for the last several days but not really posting but I read your post and burst out laughing with your description of the remote control panty. I'm surprised my hubby didn't ask what I was laughing at. Now that I've been reading the last few posts on this thread, I think I'm in the mood to go seduce my hubby, even with my scarred body and boobs that don't have any sensation. Thanks for the laugh.

    Margaret
  • Candle
    Candle Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2005
    You ladies have inspired me to post a newspaper clipping I received in my email....These remote control panties are not for the grocery store. lol Well it won't let me cut and paste, so i'll type it in. I think you'll get a laugh.

    Buzzing undies make shopper faint
    A woman collapsed in a supermarket when her vibrating panties made her faint with pleasure. The kinky 33 yr old housewife was wearing a pair of battery operated passion pants, bought from a sex shop, while she did her shopping, according to the British tab The Sun. But she got so stimulated by the 6 cm vibrating bullet in the panies that she lost consciousness. She fell and hit her head in the crowded supermarket in Swansea, Wales. When paramedics arrived, they found her black imitaion leather knickers still buzzing. They took them off before an ambulance took her to the hospital. The woman, whose identity has been kept private suffered no long lasting effects. And as she left the hospital a paramedic gave her back her passion pants in a plastic bag. A spokeman for the supermarket chain told Sun "We like to think shopping with us is exciting enough already".

    Is that just too funny. lol
    Shirley
  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 869
    edited August 2005

    That's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time!! Thanks for the laugh.

  • Jenster
    Jenster Member Posts: 25
    edited August 2005
    OH!! DO STOP!!! I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!! That is absolutely one of the funniest things I've ever read and I can't wait to share!!!
  • conniec
    conniec Member Posts: 31
    edited August 2005
    Hi Sister Sissy,

    Sorry to hear about your experiences, and I'm gonna have to look up what you had done!

    Just an FYI: The "KAMA SUTRA Pleasure Balm" is an extremely intense, somewhat mint flavored gel, and the time I used it and a friend of mine used it (and told me about it) .... the problem is, the men don't have much sensation. It "prolongs" the BIG O by not letting much sensation through! NO NO NO! Not what we're lookng for! YIKES! (This was in the days when it didn't matter if 'experimenting' meant ONLY a little problem -- hey, could just jump back on the horse later -- HAH! Not now....)

    Re: Has anyone actually had an orgasm since BC and tx?

    I've read on here that some women have. I have had two, through my sweetie finding my "G Spot" (which I figured was a myth!).

    This past weekend we tried our new-to-us REPLENS, and I was STILL in pain. We had to re-apply a number of times (his hands are dry! LOL!), and THEN ... I just faked it, so HE would have one.

    the funny thing? There was SO MUCH lube from this REPLENS that he COULDN'T! Almost reminded us of the past, when I was Miss Niagra Falls of lube! LOL! He was able to take matters in hand to get much of the lubrication off, then re-inserted and "we" had a "mutual" orgasm. Hey, it wasn't for lack of trying on his part, that is for sure, or on mine.

    But, it just isn't working. And, we had about 45 mins. worth of foreplay to get ME in the mood -- which didn't really happen. At least he still is a good kisser!!!! ;-)

    And since I still have my right breast (until Sept, at least), he was using every stimulation trick in our repertoire. Sadly, it didn't work.

    I'm getting very tired of this, and at this point, I almost (not quite!) but almost would suggest to him to have sex with on of my friends.

    However, every week he and I do SOME type of sexual activity, though it almost NEVER involves touching me, just cause it hurts -- and so it keeps the sexual bond and intimacy between us.

    QUESTION: My DH says that men HAVE TO have a release at least once a week or maybe go for a bit longer. I KNOW we have at least one man in this group, so....is this FACT or just conditioning?

    Cause, I'm sorry, that just makes ZERO biological sense to me! As far as I know, WOMEN surely don't HAVE TO have an orgasm every week in order to survive! If so, there would be an awful lot of dead women around! I didn't have my first orgasm until I was 32 -- and had mastectomy at 39.

    Well, at least I had 6-7 years of knowing was it was like....

    Good luck, Sissy, on your searches! Sounds like you are on the correct track. Look up some of my other posts (either under CONNIEC or CONNIERC) and early on in the thread I put links to some very good sources. BEWARE THOUGH: DO NOT open when children are around!!!! XX-Rated as soon as you open the link, for at least one of them! hee hee! Good products,though!

    With love and hugs to ALL my sisters and brothers dealing with BC,

    Connierc
  • sammy6
    sammy6 Member Posts: 2
    edited August 2005
    I'm glad a few of you got a laugh out of the buzzing undies.

    Shirley lol to your newspaper clipping. Is this stuff for real?

    ConnieC thanks for your input. I'll have to go back further in the thread and find some of those websites. I noticed you are in Boston. I'm also in Mass. but in the western part of the state near Pittsfield. I had my surgery and plastic surgery at Beth Israel in Boston but following up here.

    Let the Mojo quest continue....
  • Solly
    Solly Member Posts: 9
    edited August 2005
    I haven't posted on this thread since about page 3. I've been reading with interest. I have always had a toy and DH and I enjoy our little pron movies at home.

    Someone asked if you have orgasms after bc and tx. I do but they just take so darn long to achieve. Of course with the boobies with no feeling (TRAM Reconst) it is hard to get stimulated. My vibrator borke and I haven't replaced it yet. I keep telling hubbie we need to go shopping. Do you think using the vibrator more will help me speed up the "O"?

    During chemo I didn't feel like sex at all, but continued to take care of hubbie. It really zapped my sex drive and I really had a good one. I am determined not to let it die. BC can take my boobs but not my life (yet) and fun.

    I'm going to have to check out the rocket and wand mentioned above.
  • conniec
    conniec Member Posts: 31
    edited August 2005
    Dear SissyBee,

    see below quote....


    "ConnieC thanks for your input. I'll have to go back further in the thread and find some of those websites. I noticed you are in Boston. I'm also in Mass. but in the western part of the state near Pittsfield. I had my surgery and plastic surgery at Beth Israel in Boston but following up here."

    If you are ever in the BC.ORG chat room, you'll find a number of people from the Boston/ MA area. Matter of fact, there is a woman named "Kate" who is closer to you -- I THINK she is in Springfield, but maybe farther west, not sure.

    I'm actually in Gloucester, MA, on the North Shore, where the "Perfect Storm" actually happened, and where they filmed a great deal of the movie. We've lost fishing boats since, sadly, and I'm glad there are a few movies dedicated to the fishers and their families and friends who wonder ever time they go out if they will see them again....

    We have not only the "Fisherman at the Wheel" statue, but the Gloucester Fisherman Wives Committee erected a beautiful momument, also on the Boulevard, to the Women and Children waiting, waiting, waiting for that ship to come home.

    It's a highly moving sculpture, IMHO, and NOTHING to do with MOJO, but just a little bit of where I live.

    Well, today was a great day in the halls of my depression, one of them being BC and also the effect it has had on me, hubby, etc. My shrink asked my if I wanted her to put me into the hospital for a few days, to "get away" from all the pressure.

    When I said a few days in the lockdown ward with actual crazy people was not my idea of "rest," she suggested conferencing with my PCP to see if I would want to spend a few days in a regular hospital.

    Now, only if they would allow me to have my cat.....

    With hugs to all,

    Connierc
  • Poppy
    Poppy Member Posts: 9
    edited August 2005
    OMG the buzzing panties is the funniest thing I've read in ages! Thanks for the laugh!
    Erica
  • Claiire
    Claiire Member Posts: 60
    edited August 2005
    Connie...

    If what your doc thinks you need is a few days away from the stress, go check yourself into a nice hotel and stay for a couple of days.

    I've done this a couple of times and just getting away from my house and the "things" I think I need to be doing, getting away from the phone and getting away from work for a few days makes a difference. Depending on where you go, you could probably take your cat with you.
  • 3strikes
    3strikes Member Posts: 12
    edited August 2005
    Connie, and all you other gals...

    I try to get away as often as possible... with or WITHOUT hubby. Just to be "away" is so much therapy for me, especially if the place I stay has a pool [that opens at dawn] and a hot tub spa.
    For me, the water is important. Need to go EARLY, before all the other ninnies get up and want to swim. I like the pool to MYSELF.
    My personal mode for relaxation is to lay flat on my back [in the water... hee hee] and float. That is where and how I find my greatest inner peace. Just me and the water supporting this battled body.

    As far as the question of the Big O, was always difficult with DH, but I have found an electric vibrator that can zip them out time after time! And instead of playing around for wasted and painful tries... ooh la la... heaven in moments... and you can further the pleasure by continuing for multiple orgasms. It can be done.

    Anyway, I think we all need to get away from time to time. It is good for the soul.

    And no, a man will not die from "lack of release".
    My husband is still alive.

    Diane
  • Solly
    Solly Member Posts: 9
    edited August 2005

    Ok ladies I have ordered my pocket rocket. I looked at the magic wand but the head of that thing looks huge! I have the old standard plastic vibrator (but it died) so was a little confused about this magic wand. Does it fit down there??? I know you don't "insert' it.

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