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I WANT MY MOJO BACK!

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  • sam52
    sam52 Member Posts: 431
    edited February 2006
    Well, Janis, yes...."young man" is definitely the answer!!!

    After many years on my own (single parent to boy with a disability).....a hunk comes into my life!!!(No pun intended.....but if the cap fits....)

    23 years younger, to be precise.I want to tear his clothes off the minute I see him.

    I have actually known him a few years, but only known in the biblical sense since the Summer.Sex is amazing....I was rather scared at first (and it was painful to start with), but things have turned out great. I do, however, have problems reaching the goalpost, if ya know what I mean.And the goalpost keeps moving......I'm just not the girl I used to be.So far we have not found a solution.But I feel lucky that at least I don't have libido problems or painful sex issues.Hoping that with time I reach that goalpost....

    Sorry if this is TMI....I just can't believe I have found someone so hot who is also caring and sensitive to my needs.Especially after all the bc crap.Life is good right now.

    Sam
  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited February 2006
    Oh, Sam, good for you! To find ANY man who is car
  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited February 2006
    Oh, Sam, good for you! To find ANY man who is caring and understanding if this BC crap and resulting issues is wonderful and to have great sex too? You go girl!
  • casinogirl
    casinogirl Member Posts: 476
    edited February 2006
    Good for you! Amen sista!!

    Donna
  • kathybemi
    kathybemi Member Posts: 1
    edited February 2006
    MOJO WAS LOST BUT HAS NOW BEEN FOUND!
    Thanks to one of my closest friends.
    She gave me a link she found www.vibeforthecure.com
    Let's just say the Visa bill looks more like a shopping list. Can I post more than just one smiley face (LOL)!!!!
    I love this site. vibeforthecure
  • SpanArtist
    SpanArtist Member Posts: 38
    edited February 2006
    OK, here's a newly opened web site operated by the famous Dr. Jennifer Berman, one of the two Drs. Berman of TV fame. Dr. Jennifer is the urologist. I'm thinking this web site is one to watch as these women are very aware of menopausal (and breast cancer) difficulties, and I truly believe the baby boomer generation is going to spur help for all of us:
    http://www.bermansexualhealth.com/content/

    Here's an article from the web site that discusses sexual difficulties and female cancers (much of it is relevant for Breast Cancer survivors):
    http://www.bermansexualhealth.com/conten...mp;limitstart=0

    Here's an article about one of the SERMS Dr. Berman mentions in her article which is under development:
    http://www.bionovo.com/home.php?menu=med...USPR_____SFW033

    Here's an article re: phentolamine, which she mentions (otherwise known as Vasomax):
    http://www.hisandherhealth.com/articles/...ra_Begins.shtml

    Also, I contacted Dr. Berman by phone and was told by her office staff that she would do a phone consultation with me (she's in California, I'm in Florida). She wants me to do a series of lab tests for $495 and the phone consult would cost $200, and since I'm going through BC w/out health ins, I haven't acted on it yet. But I haven't ruled it out completely yet either. I'll keep you all updated.

    Don't give up, ladies!! I DO believe that significant help for us is in the near future!

    Hugs to all,
    Liza
  • Claiire
    Claiire Member Posts: 60
    edited February 2006
    Just bumping this baby back up!

    Claire who has a date tonight...! Whooo hoooo!!!
  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited February 2006
    Woo-hoo Claire! Be gentle on him, okay?

    I, myself, have lunch date up in Madison, WI, this Saturday. My g/f is having a "women over 40" party this weekend and she's set me up with a young man she knows!

    Do tell Claire.....

    Janis L
  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited March 2006
    Okay, me again!

    Today is the 1-year anniversary of my dx (a lumpectomy followed by "you have breast cancer") and I have to say that while my mojo isn't what it used to be sex can still be pleasurable!

    I saw my young man last night and he gave me a good orgasm. It still takes me longer than it did before BC and they're not as intense but I can still have them. The position that gives me the best orgasms is when ***sorry if TMI*** I sit on his face. He insisted so who am I to argue???

    I guess I just wanted to post that all isn't necessarily lost after BC (as I had originally thought) and while sex is not what it used to be it can still be good. I'm sure it helps that I'm in love with Jason but as long as he wants to be with me I'll gladly be with him.

    Janis L
  • FitChik
    FitChik Member Posts: 392
    edited March 2006
    Janis..I just love your posts! You're absolutely fun, funny and refreshing! Congratulations on hitting the 1-year post dx and keeping up such good mojo. I think it's very sweet of you to post about your encouraging status as it should give others hope. I am approaching my own 'one-year' and can report that sex has actually gotten way better for me, mostly I think because I have become so comfortable with myself and my needs and don't feel like I need to impress anyone. Also, I want to live my life as fully as possible and that includes having awesome sex! So here's to keeping that MOJO going!!!!
  • FitChik
    FitChik Member Posts: 392
    edited March 2006
    And.....that position has been extremely successful for us too and my guy loves it! He recently shaved his....um...member...and has been getting increased sensation as a result. I like it too, especially for oral. Only thing is its more sensitive skinwise too, so we're loading up on the lube. I just ordered 2 new flavors of ID 'Juicy Lube' for more fun
  • gracejon
    gracejon Member Posts: 13
    edited March 2006

    TMI is NOT in the vocabulary when it comes to MOJO and return of life's BIG pleasures. I am happy desire has finally returned and am working on increasing pleasure and lubrication. Orgasm has not been a problem(YEAH!!!)

  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited March 2006
    I have to say that since I'm more relaxed towards my young man now that I'm post-menopausal (read less hyper as there's less estrogen coursing through me) I/we have more fun. Last night *** TMI again *** afterwards I had gotten the kleenex and was wiping him off (we finished with me on top so it was all on him!) I was flopping him around when it flipped over to the other side. So, again, I put it to one side and it flopped over to the other side. I guess he hangs to the left??? Anyway, we got a good laugh out of this as every time I placed it to the right it flopped to the left and he said "like a windshield wiper" so that's our new joke. I have a clicker (I think I posted that previously?) and he has a windshield washer. If you can't laugh about it then what's the point?

    Jon, I seem to lubricate just fine. Alway have. The orgasms take forever no matter what, but I CAN have them! Good luck.

    Thanks, Marin, for liking my posts. I hate this new ME but I'm trying to accept it and get on with my life! I SO wish I had my old body and my old sex drive and sexual response but I don't. This is my new reality and either I accept it or I can be miserable. I chose to accept it. I'm just damn glad that I got a lot of great sex before BC!

    Janis L
  • shirlr
    shirlr Member Posts: 24
    edited March 2006
    Thought I'd bump this up and tell you that I had my 3 year anniversary check up yesterday and everything's fine... will get the blood tests back tomorrow to be sure.
    Also, my wonderful nurse pratictioner told me about a great new lube made by KY, Silk-E. Haven't tried it yet but she highly recommends it! Evidently it is long-lasting (for all you hard-core girls!) and it gets high ratings on drugstore.com.
  • OG_Lou
    OG_Lou Member Posts: 24
    edited March 2006
    Lookin for advice on urethera burning pain during intercourse and for about 2 hrs after. Took tmax for 5 years, BC (7 years ago) was estrogen dependent so hormones are out.

    To avoid UTI's, use baby wipes (Costco brand) with alovera to clean up prior to intercourse. We use Astroglide and no rough or long sex allowed.

    Any opinions?

    Lou
  • Mena
    Mena Member Posts: 263
    edited March 2006
    Hey Lou.....

    Geez, you know you mess with my head with all your abbreviations....

    Seriously, make sure W pees urinates before and after sex,
    It may help. I'm sure you'll be hearing from others on this.

    H a G weekend hahahha.....xo
  • OG_Lou
    OG_Lou Member Posts: 24
    edited March 2006
    Sorry about the abbreviations, don’t want people to know some of the spellings are a little troublesome or that I did not use the word processor.
    Tamx Tamoxifen
    UTI’s Urinary tract infections
    Urethera should have been urethra

    “make sure W pees urinates before and after sex,”

    Yes, that happens. Between pre sex wipes and peeing, no UTI’s for a year. J

    The urethra pain is something recent. I did Google “urethra pain intercourse” and found so many medical references I don’t know where to start. I see many recommend a hormonal cream but am afraid of that method because of the past BC.

    We have has two recommendations to use Estring for aging (FM=64) problems but the Onc nixed this idea.

    Thanks, Lou
  • tjac477
    tjac477 Member Posts: 2
    edited March 2006

    I am still in treatment...8 taxol/herceptins left, then rads. The last few times sex has been pretty painful...even with lube. Is that a normal side effect? And orgasams have not been nearly as good as b4. Do you MOJO babes have any advice?

  • shirlr
    shirlr Member Posts: 24
    edited March 2006

    I'm sorry no one has answered tjac! While I didn't have taxol/herceptin, I have had dryness related pain issues. Finding the right kind of lube is key, Astroglide works for me but I have friends who swear by Slippery Stuff and Silk-E. I also have two friends who are bc survivors who have had their onc recommend the Estring and they have success with that. About the orgasams - I'm having the same problem. I think I'm going to get a new vibrator, the right tool for the right job! Anyone seen a deal on the Erosillator? That's next on my list.

  • daydream
    daydream Member Posts: 5
    edited March 2006

    Don't feel like you are the only one. I think a lot of us have had the same experience. Chemo affects ALL the mucus membranes. It will come back, but...sucks, don't it?

  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited March 2006
    Okay, I don't know how to bump up a thread so I thought I'd post some good (?) news.

    I think my O's are close to being back to normal. I'm taking DHEA and I do believe it's helped. Or maybe it's just the passage of time (I'm 9 months post-chemo)?

    I still only see my young man about once a week (this Saturday night - look out!) so it's not the frequency, I think it's time and supplements. I'm waiting on a testosterone test from this week. Anyone else have that done?

    Janis L
  • littlebabybirdie
    littlebabybirdie Member Posts: 1
    edited March 2006

    Glad you bumped it up, Janis. So I was doing well through lumpectomy, radiation, no chemo, then starting an AI (Aromasin) as far as dryness & O's. (Aromasin had a lot of other side effects.) Then after 2 1/2 mo. the AI must have done its job. Now I have dryness and O problems. ("Where did it go? What happened?") Can the E-string be safely used? I've heard there are cylinders your doc can prescribe (estrogen I think). I've never heard of having a testosterone test.

  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited March 2006
    Initially I had dryness when I started Tamoxifen but I don't anymore. My gyne said to rub pure vitamin E oil around "the vaginal opening" and I did once a day and it helped. She also said to use only baby oil for sex but I didn't really have a problem with lubrication. Again, I was dryer at first but that seems to have resolved itself.
    I do take a lot of supplements so that could be helping but I don't know for sure. I could just be the passage of time and my body getting back to (its new) normal.

    Janis L
  • slr38
    slr38 Member Posts: 4
    edited March 2006

    So, is there a big difference between this eroscillator and the Hitachi Magic Wand?

  • mmfeelgood
    mmfeelgood Member Posts: 11
    edited March 2006
    hmmm...I only have the eroscillator, but have seen pictures of the Hitachi Magic Wand. The Magic Wand is much bulkier than the eroscillator www.eroscillator.com , the eroscillator works in a bit different way. I can vouch that the eroscillator works - lol...and works VERY well, she says with a big smile

    Jan
  • SillyMama
    SillyMama Member Posts: 49
    edited March 2006
    Donna is bumping this to the top.

    donnas
  • sam52
    sam52 Member Posts: 431
    edited March 2006
    Janis.....what is DHEA?

    Libido is not a problem(like you,I have a 'young man'); dryness not too bad.....but O's are hard work (if I'm honest,almsot non-existent). I'm on aromasin, so total estrogen block.

    Will try almost anything to get those O's back to the way they were.

    Thanks,

    Sam
  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited March 2006
    Sam,

    DHEA is Dehydroepiandrosterone (as it reads on my bottle!). Google it and you'll read differing opinions about it.

    It's weird but it seems that now, on Tamoxifen, I lubricate more and before all this BC crap started I had no problem lubricating at all. My O's are better now but still not as intense as they were.

    I, too, seem to take forever to "get there." Last night I had a really nice time with my young man and "it" just didn't happen. This morning "it" took forever but it finally did happen. He's patient and when I don't come I just try to shrug it off as I don't want it to bother him even though it really does bother me. I spend a lot of time on the precipice as it were and that frustrates me but it is what it is. I have no idea how to make it better.
    If I do figure it out, though, I'll post it!

    Janis L
  • shirlr
    shirlr Member Posts: 24
    edited March 2006
    I'm in the same club! I've found two things that really helped me. Arginmax (a natural suppliment - you get it at GNC stores or online) and high dose fish oil. I have been taking both for over a year and I think they have given me back my "zip". I still have dryness and O problems, but both are so much better than they were. I have erotic dreams again and actually got my desire back. You have to take a lot of fish oil, I take 8 caps - 4 AM and 4 PM. I take the Nature Made Maximum Strengh (I get mine at Costco). My oncologist said both are fine to take, my overall health has actually improved, too. Give them at least a month to work, I noticed a difference in about two weeks.

    Next on my list is an eroscillator. Is it really worth the money?
  • FitChik
    FitChik Member Posts: 392
    edited March 2006
    Janis...I just saw a piece on TV about a woman who OD'd on DHEA (was taking it to retain her youthfulness), so just be sure that your dosage is reasonable.
    On another note...Has anyone tried a vibrator glove? I read about them in a magazine and am intrigued!

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