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I WANT MY MOJO BACK!

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Comments

  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited April 2006
    Oilman (or Brian? also my ex-husband's name!) I am all about younger men as they are MUCH smarter than older men (who can get any young chickie they want).

    I just had to post as I'm seeing my "younger man" on Sunday. He has been advised that I'm more than ready!

    p.s. to Luba ~ (sorry, I jsut saw your post today) I'm scared to go on an A.I. as I've read (here) that they cause more joint pain than Tamoxifen does and Tamoxifen has caused me joint pain that I never had before! You have to be post-menopausal to go on an A.I. I supposedly am but do not trust the test I've had as I've been "post-menopausal" for for less than a year at this point and am comfortable staying on the Tamoxifen for a while yet.

    Janis L
  • sam52
    sam52 Member Posts: 431
    edited April 2006
    Janis...and Luba -

    For what it's worth I felt much worse on tamoxifen....aches and pains all over for 2.5 years.Got a dx of fibromyalgia. I switched to aromasin a year ago....and feel a lot better. Never had hot flashes with either drug (genetic, presumably, as my mother was similarly lucky).
    So this is a very individual thing.

    BTW...I'm with you so totally, Janis, on younger men....mine is 23 years younger and I have never experienced sex like it.He can go on for ever and ever..and over and over (sorry...TMI...but I am revelling in it after many years celebacy).Enjoy your young man today!!!

    Sam
  • luba
    luba Member Posts: 6
    edited April 2006
    Hi all.....my "mojo" is slowly returning.....dx was jan 05 last chemo in June 05 last rad sept 05 been on tamox since....but I feel so, not myself still. I dont like the tamox for one, I have many, many hot flashes daily, and it makes me feel so run down and "old", joint pain, no energy ect...so now, just getting in the "mood" takes thought and I have to work at it, where BBC, it was just there, no work or thought, I had a very active sex life with my husband of 23 years(i'm 43). He is not a "younger man" he is older than I am, but I could not have asked for a more understanding husband. He understands and supports me, he knows how these drugs are effecting me, and knows that I wish things were as they were before, but we are learning to make "our new normal" now, it takes work and at times is so difficult, but at least by reading all your wonderful posts, I know Im not alone in my struggles.
    Thanks to all for your honesty and candor

    Marie
  • SillyMama
    SillyMama Member Posts: 49
    edited April 2006
    Hi, all,

    I was reading back over some of the recent discussions on those of us who now experience PAIN with sex...

    WAY back early on this this mojo thread, one woman said that her doctor suggested lidocaine, and she was really angry at that kind of a solution.

    I thought, "Damn! I'd LOVE to have that lidocaine." Thought about it and thought about it. Never had pain when I was younger... but now, it REALLY REALLY REALLY hurts. Hard to have ANY libido with that kind of ouch.

    So I have this woman pharmacist, and I told her that story while I was asking about lubricants. When she heard me say that I would have accepted lidocaine, she took me over to the Vagisil- it has something-caine in it, and she thought it might be worth a try.

    It WORKED!

    I gave it 10 minutes or so to have time to work. Considering my choice was NO intimacy or this, it felt really great to feel close to dh.

    He didn't really think he was negatively affected - like getting numb himself... I think he was relieved just to be able to be close, too.

    donna
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 282
    edited April 2006

    Lucky guy - have fun

  • yellowfarmhouse
    yellowfarmhouse Member Posts: 9
    edited April 2006
    Dear Marie and all,
    Your story could have been written about me. Pretty much same age and time of dx and treatment. My husband of 18 years is also very understanding and we are working on new normal.

    We have found that we are being more creative. And viagra gives us more time and takes pressure off us both. We began using more products . I can so relate to everyone who writes about less libido and such but we really work to be close in this way and I'm so thankful I have a husband who is willing to look beyond all the changes in my body. Right now I'm in the midst of reconstruction .

    This thread has been very helpful for me. Thanks to you all for being so open to share things,
    Wendy
  • shirlr
    shirlr Member Posts: 24
    edited April 2006
    Isn't it wonderful to know you're not the only one going through this?

    Products are the way to go. I now have a drawer of stuff by the bedside. I just ordered an Eroscillator and my husband said maybe he'd build a "holster" on the bed to hold all my toys. Funny guy.

    If you guys haven't tried taking a daily multi vitamin, Arginmax, and high dose fish oil, I highly recommend you give this a try. I think we have to add things internally as well as externally to improve our libido. It's actually improved my overall health, which can't be a bad thing.
  • shirlr
    shirlr Member Posts: 24
    edited April 2006
    I just read an interesting article last night:

    http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/health/2002910613_carnalknowledge05.html

    Check this out, it's about the history of vibrators and other interesting info...

    Evidently it's illegal to own too many vibrators, and ones that resemble the real thing, in Texas, Georgia, and Alabama. So beware all you girls in those states!!!!
  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 869
    edited April 2006
    I actually went into an adult store in alabama. So they must not be keeping up that law there.
    (that was the first and only time I've been in one of those stores and it was mind boggeling!)
  • CJAY
    CJAY Member Posts: 5
    edited April 2006

    ok ladies so here's the deal...i got the libido, go the desire,got the good partner, but cant really get the big O (can get a pretty little, nothing to right home about o sometimes). on both tamoxifin and effexor. not sure which one is the culprit. any suggestions, besides the younger man that is?

  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited April 2006
    I say it's the Tamoxifen as I'm not on an anti-depressant but it could be the Effexor, or perhaps something else? Are you post-menopausal? I have found that my O's are better now than they were 6/8/10 months ago but still not like they used to be! If you figure it out please tell me!

    Janis L
  • gmr52
    gmr52 Member Posts: 3
    edited April 2006
    Cjay,
    I don't know about the Tamoxifen but difficulty with the big "O" is one of the listed side effects of Effexor.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    edited April 2006
    cJay
    Ive been on Tamoxifin for the last 5ish months and although my libido is a lot less, I have had the big "O". I and DH have to work at it, and I have to "remind" myself that sex is actually fun and get myself in the mood, but once I do and get into it, I dont have a problem finishing ( i do need a bit of lubrication ie astroglide - australian product)

    all the best meri
  • Mena
    Mena Member Posts: 263
    edited April 2006
    Hi girls...as always I'm so proud to see this thread thriving...

    The past year has been one helluva pit for me as many of you know...mets progression...divorce...the death of my Dad...So here's something quite bizarre yet lovely that I'd like to share with you...

    A few days ago my Mom called to tell me that this guy, Dave, knocked on her door looking for me. He introduced himself and told my Mom that we went together 15 years ago...so, of course, my Mom invited Dave in and they talked for about 1/2 hour...Here's the story:

    Dave had gone to a 7 pm Sunday Mass in my hometown church, which is not his parish (nor mine). He sees my name in the bulletin, under "Prayers for the Sick"...(Prior to Dad's death, my Dad put me in there with my maiden name because he hated my ex by then).

    Upon seeing this, Dave proceeded to drive to what he thought he remembered was my parents' house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by Mom. He told her of our history, and wanted to know what was wrong with me and where I was, yada...Mom filled him in on my life (yikes) and despite all that, he left his card and told her that I could call him anytime. He also mentioned that he often regretted breaking up with me years ago...

    I took his number and called him and we decided to get together at my house and watch a movie...Now remember: I haven't seen this guy in over a decade and and I'm wearing an extra 15 pounds.

    When he showed up, it was like those 15 years were (how cliche) yesterday. He looked so hot and gave me a most exquisite bouquet that I know must've run at least 50 bucks. I was delighted and already feeling the mojo.

    We talked and watched "Capote." (I do not recommend this film). There was no holding hands or snuggling or anything like that, but there certainly was a comfortability and some awkwardness as well. We hugged and kissed (a peck) goodnight, and it was just assumed that we'd be getting together again.

    At one point during the evening he said, "I've always prayed for you over the years" I melted. (Let me remind you that when I asked my husband a year ago if he prayed for me, he answered "No.") Dave prayed for me never even knowing I had had bc, let alone twice. I never knew I could have such an impact on anyone...it was one of the most meaningful things anyone could say to me.

    I dreamt of him all night and woke up smiling...I kid you not. Now I'm in this "Is he gonna call?" mode...feeling like I'm 14...

    What do you all think of this?...that an old boyfriend would seek me out to the point where he's knocking on the door of a house he's not even sure of...and then within two days, he's visiting me? And me! All giggly and waiting for the phone to ring...omigod...I'm thinking of that corny song, "Reunited And It Feels So Good" hahahahaha....

    Btw, he's got no problem with the fact that I'm a "package deal" with my two kids, and I reassured him that I was not dying...Of course Mom was quick to point out that it was God and Dad who arranged this weird sequence of events.

    It just plain feels good to know that I'm ready to move on from my ex. I was downright horny last night just sitting next to him...my good friend Arpy says it's a "love connection" because of the way it all fell together...what do you think?
  • jaybird627
    jaybird627 Member Posts: 1,227
    edited April 2006
    Cool for you Mena! Don't question the situation, just enjoy it! And as for "feeling 14 again" that's not such a bad thing as long as you don't get the pimples associated with adolescence! Keep us posted!

    Janis L
  • yellowfarmhouse
    yellowfarmhouse Member Posts: 9
    edited April 2006
    That is fabulous. So happy for you. I mean what can be more touching than someone who has been praying for you all these years. I'd be head over heels. Hope that you can enjoy some wonderful times together!You deserve every happiness!
    Wendy
  • casinogirl
    casinogirl Member Posts: 476
    edited April 2006
    Mena - what a cool story! I understand the "feeling 14 again" sensation. I felt that way when I met my honey last summer after divorce from a 20-year marrigage.

    Your story proves there's mojo to be had - it's all in finding the right person or persons who can bring those feelings back.

    Please keep us posted!

    Donna
  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 869
    edited April 2006
    As said above, don't pick it apart, take it for what it is today (last night) and enjoy it!
    How beautiful!
  • sedgymum
    sedgymum Member Posts: 6
    edited April 2006
    Mena,

    I don't know why but your last post brought a tear to my eye. I guess I am just so happy for you to be feeling so good about yourself. Enjoy it for what it is. This is one progression that I would hope for for you.

    Enjoy it, cheers Kelly
  • shirlr
    shirlr Member Posts: 24
    edited April 2006
    Wow! What a story! You obviously have your spirituality in common and he sounds like a caring and thoughtful guy. Sounds like he's been carrying a torch for you for years! I suspect you're going to be seeing a lot of him. Enjoy!

    And... be sure you come here and give us all the juicy details!
  • luba
    luba Member Posts: 6
    edited April 2006
    Mena, we must all be sappy, because I got a lump in my throat reading your story, like some of the others too. Why are you wondering if he will call? Call him if you want too. I have a 17 year old and at that age they wait for no one. You only live once so go ahead and call. I dont know your full story of why your husband left, but its his loss, you sound like a wonderful person. I HOPE this works out for you.

    And yes keep us informed

    ps how old are your children
  • shirlr
    shirlr Member Posts: 24
    edited April 2006

    Back to the mojo issue. I ordered an Eroscillator and tried it for the first time last night. IT JUST DOESN'T DO IT FOR ME! It's just not strong enough, at least not enough to do the trick every time! Has anyone else had this experience. I'm so disappointed. Can anyone recommend a vibrator that is stronger and has worked for them? I just wasted a lot of money.

  • FitChik
    FitChik Member Posts: 392
    edited April 2006
    Shirley....The Hitachi Magic Wand has 2 settings, low & hi. Don't use 'hi' if your teeth are even slightly loose . Seriously, it totally gets the job done and you can even buy a dildo attachment made of pliable, washable, indestructive material. When used with this attachment, everything gets stimulated and it will rock your world! That's the bad thing about these toys....they're not returnable (and the good thing as well....can you imagine? eeeewwwww!).
  • FitChik
    FitChik Member Posts: 392
    edited April 2006
    Uh...I meant 'indestructible'
  • SpanArtist
    SpanArtist Member Posts: 38
    edited April 2006
    Hi Mena,

    First of all...YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good for you, Mena!!! I'm SO happy for you that Dave found you...and yes, it does sound like it might be one of those things. You know I'm an atheist...at least, I don't follow any organized religion...but I can't deny that a very few times in my life, things have happened that seemed more than mere coincidence (and I'm cynical by nature about that kind of thing). Mostly, I'm so happy that after the hell you've been through recently on several counts, Dave shows up! And you already know him...that seems like a plus, considering that your ex messed with your trust level so much...easier than starting from scratch as far as trust goes, I would imagine. I'd like to know more about Dave and you and 15 yrs ago. I'm for calling him too, if you want to see him again and he hasn't called you yet!!! Keep us posted!!!

    BIG congratulatory hugs!
    Liza
  • SpanArtist
    SpanArtist Member Posts: 38
    edited April 2006
    Hi Shirley,

    I'm with Marin...the Hitachi Magic Wand is the most powerful vibrator I've found, much more so than the Erosillator. The Erosillator doesn't do it for me anymore either...just not strong enough. Even the Wand doesn't do for me what it once did (before BC), but it's the best I've found and the only possibility for the big "O" for me at this point in time! Do you have a Magic Wand? It's worth the $50 (cheaper than the Erosillator) and can be ordered online. If you buy one and try it, let us know if it works for you, ok? Start with the low setting, but I can tell you, only the high setting works for me anymore.

    Hugs and good luck!
    Liza
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 47
    edited April 2006
    MENA !!! GF, its so good to see your post! Arps had told me a few days ago that an old flame had appeared. Tried to call but as arps know I lost your cell number. How teriffic! You have had at least 2 plate fulls this last year. You so deserve a good guy after everything you have been through.

    Gentle Hugsssssssssssssssssss

    Rhmeee
  • Mena
    Mena Member Posts: 263
    edited April 2006
    Hey horny toads...first things first: SHIRL, When Liza recommended the Hitachi Magic Wand to me over a year ago, I ordered it and it rocks...don't forget to get the attachments.

    News from the Frontline: Thanks for the support, chiquitas. I've spoken to my blast-from-the past guy twice since seeing him last weekend. He's really hard to read...very quiet...not in any hurry to fire things up...which is OK. At least I know he's not just looking to get laid...I think...Maybe he's gay...He remembers a helluva lot more about our romance years ago than I do. It's gotten to be a little embarrassing...I don't even know if we had sex...

    I had prayed that if I were to ever hookup again, I wanted it to be with a real man of God...and this guy definitely is. I find that really sexy.
  • susan_CNY
    susan_CNY Member Posts: 64
    edited April 2006

    hey Mena, this is susan_NY, just wanted to tell you I am keeping track of these posts, I am so happy that you are still giving this old beau a chance, you deserve the attention he is giving you, enjoy it hon.

  • sandi05
    sandi05 Member Posts: 6
    edited April 2006

    this is the greatest thread..I LOVE that you ladies are being so open and honest..cause I am having my own problems with pain and stinging and it has been way too long since hubby and I have "got it on" sighhhh I so miss that contact and am enjoying reading what you all have to offer and wow did I laugh out loud at some of the posts...THANK YOU LADIES sandi

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