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I WANT MY MOJO BACK!
Comments
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Oh, Deb, I've thought of the same thing...or even (how morbid of me!) imagined dying in my sleep for some reason and being found cuddled up next to the Wand (or, as I affectionately call 'her', WANDA
). What a thought!
Okay, y'all, this is not for the shy or timid
, but it is for Leanne. I won't be completely explicit, but my research has come up with an idea....So, assuming that full penetration is what is so painful for you, it is suggested that you use a very well lubricated hand encircling him as he enters you and controlling the depth of his thrusts so that only a few inches of him enters you (and, of course, you AND him are also well lubricated). He'll get plenty of friction from your hand and you can control how tightly you squeeze him because, as you know, some guys like alot of tight pressure and some prefer it gentler. Best of all, you'll actually be doing IT!!!! So, maybe you want to give it a try? Now that I've heard of it, I'm gonna try it and I don't even have any 'need' for it...it just sounds new and, therefore, exciting!
Enjoy!
Marin0 -
Hi all,
I've been struggling with whether to make this post or not for several reasons, but I feel compelled to post this because as so many of us, I've SUFFERED with lost libido/ability to respond sexually, and I've found something that helps me tremendously (even my wand was failing me...there wasn't anything I could find to help me have a climax until I broke down and tried this). I say broke down because I'm a very pure kind of person...I don't drink, smoke, I eat healthy and low-fat, exercise, am not overweight, etc., and have been this way for 20 yrs., so in the spirit of trying to keep my body as pure and healthy as possible since breast cancer, I've been adamantly opposed to trying this. However, I've also been desperate to recover some or all of my sex life since BC tx robbed me of it (I'm 56 now, was 53 at dx). I've found this loss to be the 2nd most distressing thing about the whole BC experience (next to the BC itself). I don't even know if this will make it to the boards, but I'm going to try to post this, for those of you who want to try it...I've found that taking 2 or 3 puffs (not cigarettes) right before sex does the trick for me. A friend suggested it a long while back, saying it opens up the vascular system during the first hour after partaking of it, and for the longest time, I flatly refused. But out of deperation and depression, I finally gave it a try and it has dramatically changed things for me. I've chosen to do this in EXTREME moderation (it's the only time I touch the stuff) because it's the only thing I've found that helps. I must tell you, penetration isn't an issue for me as I'm a (partnered) lesbian and don't happen to be a lesbian who enjoys penetration, but for those of you who do have a concern with penetration, Marin's idea sounds like a good one, as do some of the comments about bringing your partners to climax in other ways. Anyway, for what this is worth, maybe my solution will help someone else out there. I continue to keep my eye on bremelanotide developments as well.
Hugs, Liza0 -
Liza...We've missed you here and I'm glad to see you post! I think that's it's so very sweet of you to offer your own experience in order to possibly help other women, yet be so concerned about the legality/propriety/healthfulness of the activity. I think that you shouldn't be worried or apologetic, though, because it sems to me that quite a few posters here imbibe whether it's for purposes of enhancing libido or just to catch a good buzz. In any event, thanks for the idea!
Marin0 -
Hi again!
Liza someone actually suggested this to me a while ago and since then I have had a few people tell me it is the way to go! I am thinking I may have to head down that path myself if my situation keeps up.
My dh has now gone away for ANOTHER 5 weeks (was home for 4 weeks after away for 6 MONTHS) so another stint of no action and more atrophy I guess. I see my onc this week so think I need to be referred onto a gyn-onc to discuss this further. I am really out of options.
There are so many pros and cons about using the estrogen creams/estring- how are we meant to know what to do???
Leanne0 -
Leanne...Read through the posts here (do a search on 'estring' maybe) to read about some of our posters experiences and what went into their decision-making. I'd like to suggest, once again, that you find a vibrator with a dildo attachment that is rather smaller than average and, using tons of good lube, use it regularly. You can start out very easy with it, with hardly any penetration, and work up to more. This forum is full of links to online stores and also discusses the pros and cons of many of them. If you need more help, though, ask here (or PM me).
Give it a shot! You're under no pressure now, so do it slowly, but DO IT!
Marin0 -
marin's absolutely right-
i also (who had quite a bit of problems earlier) just went away for a few weeks. came back home yesterday and...ouch all over again! i had to be a little tough at the beginning, I almost gave up. but we were gentle and persisitent and it got better. we'll have to be extra careful for the next couple of times (and i'll have to be kinda tough) but then it will be easier again, i'm sure if it.
just hang in there. hold onto your patience. you will have to work through a little discomfort (not too much though! if it hurts TOO much then step it down a notch or stop altogehter and try again the next day. you will still have done yourself some good by getting the blood circulating there for a bit. but you don't want it to hurt so much that you become afraid of doing it [like i almost did]) but be assured that it will work eventually! slow and steady will get you to where you want to be. start small and work up.
it sure is frustrating, but know that eventually it will work!
good luck!
s0 -
Bumping up for poster on 'Hormone' board....
Also reporting that the L-arginine has proven to be an awesome addition to my list of supplements. I have NEVER in my life had such powerful, easy-to-come-by orgasms! If your onc approves, I'd highly recommend trying it!
Marin0 -
Marin - what dosage of the L-arginine are you using?
Phyl0 -
Phyl....I take 500mg/day. When I read up on the stuff, it seemed that 1,000 mg was the standard dosage, but since I was unfamiliar with it, I decided to be cautious and only take half of that. But believe me, that is quite enough! In fact, it's rather scary to think what more powerful orgasms would be like (visions of Linda Blair in The Exorcist
)!!! So I think I'll stick with 500 mg. I bought the Whole Foods brand, but have noticed that it's sold wherever vitamins/supplements are.
Marin0 -
Thanks Marin. I think 500 mg is what I picked up at Walmart yesterday. I really want to check out the Arginmax but it's gonna be awhile before I see my BS again and I figured I'm probably safe with the l-arginine alone to get me started. I took my first this morning . . . I guess time will tell. I can only hope
Phyl0 -
Just 2 things to add....though I noticed an increase in libido and O-intensity in about a week after starting L-arginine, it wasn't until this week (so that's like 3 weeks into it) that I 'got the power'...so hang in there a bit.
Also, Phyl, we had a brief discussion about Arginmax over on 'Alternative...' and I think someone said that the form of ginseng in it was questionable for those of us who were ER+...I can't recall, but maybe the thread is still there..? Anyway, if you ask your own doctor, that should be fine as long as s/he's knowledgeable about supplements.
Marin0 -
That was going to be my question...is L-arginine safe for ER+? If it increases libido..I would think it had some hormonal properties?
Take care,
Bugs0 -
Well, Bugs, I researched the question as extensively as I could. Beginning with the premise that L-arginine is an amino acid that can support growth hormone AND the fact that it has had its popular use for correcting erectile dysfunction, as well as the fact that there just didn't seem any suggestion at all in the literature that it could have estrogenic properties, I concluded that it's safe. But it was another poster discussing the GNC product, Arginmax, that has L-arginine and other ingredients, that prompted the claim that one of those ingredients, a form of ginseng, could be estrognic. So though I feel comfortable with the 'pure' L-arginine, I wouldn't take Arginmax. But, as with all of these things, it's an individual decision.
Marin0 -
Geez Marin - now you got me counting the days - 2 down . . . 0
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I understand your pain. I am a BC survivor. I am starting my 4th year of Tamox. did the chemo.The Dr has me on effexor for the hot flashes,I was forced into menopause. I am 46 and my sex life was great before bc.I now have no desire and also all dried up. I have tried Astro glide, Ky and nothing helps. Don't know what to do!
Has anyone gained weight from all of this? I used to be a size 4 but over the 4 years I am now up to a size 10 which my husband hates. Also has anyone opted to not have reconstuction or implants after having a mastectomy. I dont know what to do about that. I was only an A cup before BC and I had to have my one breast removed but I dont know if I want to go thru surgery at 46 to get another breast. What is your opinon on that?0 -
cls46...I would love to have something of value to say in response to your questions, but I didn't gain any weight and only had a lumpectomy. I'm hoping that some women will come along who can address these issues though. In the meantime, you may want to go back over this thread for other 'stimulating' ideas. The only thing that I can say about one's body image and how it affects her sexuality is...if it bothers you enough to make you feel badly about yourself (not just your husband's take on it) and to cause you to avoid intimacy, you might want to do whatever it takes to change it. Maybe you can consult someone (like a counselor or trainer who specializes in working with survivors) who will help you make these decisions and motivate you through them...? Just a thought....
Marin0 -
CLS46, don't feel bad about being a size 10! My God does your husband want you to be invisible to other men for some reason?
Most men like curves! Now remember I said curves not "ROLLS".
That is nasty on both men and woman...believe me I know..LOL
As far as new breast, have them done, and add a little more curve to that size 10!
I think you will see that husbands mind change real fast about size 10!
Do it for you....perky boobs at 50 would really be a plus....0 -
Well Marin - it only took 4 days of L-arginine . . . WOW! DH was thrilled.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!0 -
Hi ladies, I've found a cream from a sex site that I really like. It's called 'elbow grease ' lol and doesn't dry out. Not to be used with condoms though. Also I have discovered the joys of **** rings. The disposable ones are very good. I have more orgasms now than I did when I was younger. Hope I didn't divulge too much information as I'm blushing lol.
Cls I put weight on as I stopped smoking too when I found my lump. It's taken me two years to finally do something about the weight gain and I'm losing it slowly.
Hugs
Mags0 -
Mags...the cream sounds quite useful. As for the '****' rings, all I want to know is how do you convince him to use one? EVERY guy I've ever been with has refused, acting like it was gonna strangle it off
! Men and their precious 'members,' I'm tellin' ya!
Oh, Phyl....Excellent!!!!!! And if it's starting to work after 4 days, just imagine how happy you'll be in 4 weeks! ROCK ON, GIRL!
Marin0 -
So, I'm wondering can I or can't I use this L-arginine? I'm er/pr+. My DH has been taking it for about 3 weeks now and I like the effects on him. Thinking I'd like it even better if I were taking it, but am afraid of SE's.
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lini57...I was also ER+ but apparently this stuff is just an amino acid and has no estrogenic action associated with it. I know that's hard to believe when the very thing it seems to do is stir up our hormones but actually, from what I've read, it's more about enhanced blood flow than anything hormonal. Maybe you should run it by your PCP or your onc though they often aren't familiar with some of the lesser known supplements and may not know. As for other SEs, I haven't experienced any...just the desired one!
Marin0 -
Cool! Well then, as soon as my exchange surgery is done, I'll give it a try. Thanks for the info. Marin.
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Hi Marin, my bf and I after thirteen years together are going through a trying new things stage lol. We've tried lots of things that did strangle his thing lol and found the disposable ones gave us both pleasure. We've tried some weird and wonderful things and they're definitely the best for both of us.
I like the sound of this amino acid stuff. Maybe I should ask my doc about it too.
Hugs
Mags0 -
OK, I'm going to admit that when I read these studies, the dry language and lab terms really confuse me sometimes. however, IF i am reading this correctly, L-arginine is
actually helpful against BC, at least in some circumstances, by activating immuno-something activity.
Is that what you understand to be the case?
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez...p;dopt=Abstract
and
http://www.pdrhealth.com/drug_info/nmdrugprofiles/nutsupdrugs/lar_0024.shtml
(the BC statements are at the end of the "Mechanisms of Action section, alsmot half way down on the page).0 -
Great job at researching this, PteSinge! I only knew that some postive effects on bc patients were witnessed, but didn't know what they were. It seems that L-arginine triggered the action of some cancer-killing cells and also enhanced the effects of CHOP (chemo) in killing cancer cells. That's alright. Wouldn't it be fabulous if a new drug were discovered that not only killed bc but gave us great orgasms as a side effect. How cool would that be ?
Marin0 -
I am ready to go try some of the L-arginine! Sounds too good to be true!
In my exploring of my new town, I found a "Lovers Lane" store nearby. I have a little teddy I bought before cancer/surgery/radiation, and never wore it. I wanted to know if I could exchange it for something. So, with my 3 year old son in tow, I went moseying to the entrance. I noticed a sign on the front door that says, "NO MINORS ALLOWED!!!!"
Granted, I assumed that meant, "no giggly pre-teen kids allowed." I opened the door and was tackled instantly...."HE CAN'T COME IN HERE!!!!!"
Well, I understand that a child can make people uncomfortable while shopping for vibrators, etc. I was uncomfortable with the notion of bringing my child in.
But here is the best part. They give you a "Come back" coupon for 15% off your next entire order!!!!! WHEE!!!! Think of all the goodies I can get!
The funny thing was I asked the lady if they happened to carry lingerie that was suitable for women who underwent a mastectomy. She kind of looked baffled, and motioned to her tummy. She said, "We have some tank-style teddies that will cover up that area nicely...." and looked at me for validation that she guessed right on what a mastectomy was. I chose not to torment the poor lady.
Love and prayers, Deb0 -
oh my, that is funny that the woman didn't know what a mastectomy was (well, perhaps funny "rancid", not funny "ha ha")...
I also would have assumed they meant giggly-preteens, but hey, good going on getting the coupon! i hope you manage to find something else you like soon.
by the way, i don't know how large chested you are, or up to waht size it works so well, (i'm on the small side) but i sometimes just wear corset/garter sets for sexy-time. mine all all have formed cups so...i don't even bother to stuff a falsie in and well, it looks just fine! ok it's not like i could "fool" anyone, but my bf loves it. and it's a nice feeling to wear something "regular" in a "regular" fashion, if that makes sense...no special arrangements or designs needed!0 -
Deb...That's great about the coupon just for having a child along. Maybe I can borrow a friend's toddler and visit my my sex store!
It does seem rather ignorant that the woman didn't know what a mastectomy is, but maybe living in the underworld does that to ya. In any event, you might ask for items with specific characteristics, like heavily padded, having a pocket for extra padding, etc.
I like PteSinge's idea about the corset & garters get-up. That is one of my favorite 'costumes.' I also love the school girl look, but it's not for everyone, I suppose....
Marin0 -
Well you had to have known that I'd stop by for a quick post on my favorite thread, right? I was reading Oprah at lunchtime and came across an ad for a new K-Y product called 'Liquibeads.' It's an insert and estrogen-free and claims to last 'up to 4 days.' You can get a free coupon at their website: http://www.ky.com/index_us.jsp?section=register#
Hope it's a great new find!
Marin0
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