I WANT MY MOJO BACK!
Comments
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I think that's off. Sorry but I do! I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who haven't used their mojo in a long while and still got cancer. I don't see any relation between the two.
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Nancy: I can confirm for you that people with slow mojos get breast cancer. I had been married 28 years when I was diagnosed. Without getting explicit, let's just say the honeymoon was way over by the time of my diagnosis.
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Nan...Lemme give you my take on that....NO WAY! And I say that NOT because I am clearly the biggest sex maniac on these boards (well, at least the biggest one shouting about it
), but because I got cancer right after divorcing my husband after 28 years of NO SEX WHATSOEVER!!!! Yes, my chicas, I was celibate for many more years than I care to remember. So, if I'm any representative of the larger BC population, I'd have to say that too much sex was definitely not my problem. Maybe I got cancer when my hormones rebelled from NO sex....? 
And if "too much sex" causes cancer, then I'm really in for it bigtime now!!!
~Marin
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Thanks for easing my mind ladies!!! FitChick, I really value your opinion since I know you have plenty of Mo Jo. One last comment though...who says you need a man when it comes to MoJo. Didn't I read previously that many of you have toys. As always....thanks for your input.
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Of course you can self satisfy with a toy. I've done it many times.
but really it the end it's nothing like sharing it with someone you care about - at least that's my take on it. Although it really really really satisfies my physical needs I miss the human touch from some one I love. 0 -
You're right, Nan, and I agree wholeheartedly with Jill about the value of the toys, but I'll add that I never used one until after BC. I guess I was too naive or something, because it truly never occured to me (
). It was probably just as well because given what I now know about my appetites and the fact that I wasn't getting any from my husband, I would have become a vibrator addict! Reminds me of that Sex and the City episode where Charlotte locks herself in her apartment all week after discovering The Rabbit! Yeah, that'd been me!~Marin
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Sorry, but had to share the laugh at that one Marin! I can see the episode, even though I missed it!
Too funny! But you know....I wonder how many marriages are saved b/c of them, and in spite of dh's who don't put out, you know? Maybe the # of big D's would be higher, you think? Then again. as you say, you were naive and didn't even know about them, so unfortunately, that's probably true for a lot of other women in loveless marriages 
Sad really.... 0 -
I, for one, can personally guarantee that too much sex did NOT cause my breast cancer. I would think that many Catholic nuns may give you the same opinion. Then you can consider the younger survivors of 18-24 or such that have been diagnosed. Nope, I don't think too much mojo is a bad thing. Unless--------------he's just not a good lover. then one time is too much!
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Long sexless first marriage to hubby who won't put out is sounding like a (bad) trend here, ladies! I was in that risk group!
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Hi - Funny you should speak about this...that's the reason I signed up tonight. My mojo is gone gone and i've tried just about everything. Sure, my wonderful husband is pleased...but I am not. yes, it hurts and nothing happens no matter what we do. I have to say - i am depressed. I am on tamoxifen (just changed from Arimidex), Effexor, and metformin for Polycystic ovary syndrome. I am wondering if I should get off the effexor...maybe that will help. I have gained weight and have loads of scars from the surgery (partial mastectomy and had the other one resized so I'll have a matched set).
I am not happy. I want my mojo back too...in a big way. 0 -
Yes, Lioness, that effexor could be affecting your mojo. As well as, lack of estrogen, stress, and all the above you mention. Thats a huge impact from antidepressents from what I've read, and one of the reasons that I'm not keen on trying the effexor for hot flashes, although last week when they got worse (really bad) I'd probably have done it, had I not had company all week and could have gotten to a doc during that time! UGH!
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Thanks so much for your reply. I guess I should get off the effexor - eventhough it does help with the hot flashes. However, I'm 4 years into all of this and I am wondering if the hot flashes are basically over with by now OR is it that the effexor is really doing a good job. My hot flashes are now only from my neck up (they used to be my entire body). I know if I decide to get off the effexor that I would have to be weened off. I'm not sure what to do. I am tearful lately - so I wonder if I were off effexor if it would be worse for me. I'm so confused.
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Boy, that's a good question. If you still have weepy times, depresssion and such, it's a toss up. Do you want to be depressed, or no sex? Hm...seems with one you'll invariable have the other, right? Not a good situation to have to decide. Perhaps there is another anti-depressant that would work for that, but not affect the mojo?
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I thought there was an anti that specifically didn't mess with it but I can't remember what one it it!!!! I'll think hard and try to remember!!!!! My brain might hurt tho
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That's what I was thinking, but dang it! I know I can't blame the chemo anymore, it's been nearly 6 months since that, but something is causing the lack of memory......danged estrogen anyway! That and stress....and then there's stress.................and of course, always the stress.....what was is we were trying to think of anyway!
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It is my understanding that Wellbutrin has the fewest sexual side effects of all of the antidepressants and also is the least likely to cause weight gain. Sounds like a win-win to me, so you might want to give it a try. Also, Lioness, have you tried Replens or the Estring? There are so many things to try to ease the dryness problem, so I definitely encourage you to explore them. Additionally, I'd encourage anyone for whom intercourse is painful to buy a small stretching device ( http://www.gyneflex.com/index.html ) or a dildo, get it very lubricated and use it regularly. You can even find ways to make it part of your lovemaking. Remember, my chicas, men can get turned on by just about anything, so BE CREATIVE!!!
~Marin
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Marin, I refer to you as "My Sex Advisor Breast Cancer Friend Marin." Did you know that?
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I appreciate all your answers...but I don't think there really is an answer to my problem. WEight...yeap...I gained weight due to meds. Forgetfulness - got that too. Mojo...well I guess I have to accept that it's gone. I had my surgery and raditation four years ago and it seems like everything is hitting me NOW! I used to be a beautiful "young" woman...lots of mojo, lots of life, lots of everything. I will say one thing though. When I was being wheeled out of the operating room my husband talk to my surgeon. He asked the doc when will I be able to go to grad school..it is something I've wanted to do for a long time. My doc said that I will never be able to go because I'm going to be too weak. I would need time to get my stamina back and take care of myself. WEll..I had the surgury in April and that August I was in class. I'm going for my second masters now....but this time it's harder for me. I guess I have to be very zen and go with the flow...but I just wish I would have a nice quiet stream of water...not the rapids.
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Lioness...What kind of crazy doctor predicts something like THAT? What crap! So good for YOU for proving him so very wrong!
Maybe someday soon your mojo will reawaken and surprise both you and your husband. I know plenty of women who, based on societal standards, are more-than-a-little overweight and they adore sex! And so do their partners...it can't fail when two people want to please one another!
~Marin
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Thanks so much FitChik! I needed to hear that! I am so tired of this disease. It takes up so much of my life. I am thinking of getting into Yoga to help me with my body. My daughter will be getting married in November. It's been impossible for me to lose weight - I've tried everything. If I do not eat at regular intervals - I get dizzy and feel ill. I passed out last year and brought to the hospital. They thought I had a stroke or heart attack when it basically was dehydration and stress. I hope to be off some of my meds when I reach my 5th year - but I am afraid that I won't. Do you know of anyone who is off tamoxifen after their 5 years? Thanks for letting me vent. Apparently I'm still in pain (emotional) with this ordeal.
Lioness
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Lioness...I'm sure that you can find quite a few women who finished out their five years of Tamoxifen and no longer take it. Some move on to one of the AIs, while others opt to forego another drug. Its such an individual choice, ya know?
As for dieting and body image, I know quite alot about that too, having had an eating disorder many years ago and now working in the fitness industry. My overall opinion is that we should eat for both nutrition and pleasure and we should exercise for health and pleasure as well. Beyond that, torturing yourself or beating yourself up is insane, especially when so many factors are completely outside your realm of control. One of the most important things available to us in life is the ability to pleasure ourselves in so many ways and to embrace all of the sensual opportunities. This includes food and physical activity, in addition to things we do to nourish our hearts and souls. Letting a societally-prescribed vision of what we need to look like in order to "rate" and enjoy these pleasures is preposterous. So I suggest that we all try to shed these notions and, in doing so, try also to shed as many inhibitions as there are holding us back from pursuing gratifying activities!
I just came back from MD where we stayed with a couple who was clearly in love and who I just KNEW was very sexually hot for one another. She was definitely overweight, by societal standards, but seemed sooooooooo sexy because of her self-confidence and the way she carried herself. She was actually quite beautiful for that very reason. I see no reason why we can't each & all aspire to own our authentic selves, the physical and sexual parts absolutely included!
OK, off the soapbox, my chicas.......
~Marin
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I love ya, sister!
Nothing new on the mojo horizon for me, lately.......still love our Liberator pillows, though!!!! Marin, what is your favorite position to use on it?
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Marin - you rock woman! I learn so much from your attitude. Often times when I'm feeling inhibated or even negative I do think of your attitude. You inspire me to live life fuller! Thanks for helping me - without even knowing it!
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Aw, you all are great and, believe me, inspire me all the time! And Jill, you really should check out these Liberator thingys....they really stimulate the imagination! As for positions, whoops, I love this:
And then there's:
Of course oral is so very pleasureable with the Wedge too! Hmmmmmm......too many possibilities...I can't pick just ONE favorite!
~Marin
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I have a wonderful informational resource that I'd like you share with you all. It's a website devoted entirely to everything you have ever, or could ever, want to know about the clitoris. And conveniently enough, it's called http://www.the-clitoris.com/ I don't think there's a thing you can think of that's not discussed on this site. Check it out....and then send it to your man (or men
). I think we'll all be pleasantly surprised at what they can do with a little knowledge!And be sure to report back here, y'all!
~Marin
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Lioness, I finished 5 years of Tamoxifen in June. I had no libido, and difficulty having sex while taking it. Now, 2 months off of Tamoxifen, my libido has returned... weaker than before bc, but it's actually there.
I don't always need KY either, when before, I had to use it. It's odd, I didn't get hot flashes on Tamoxifen, but I lost my libido. Now, I have hot flashes, and a new libido. lol There's hope!
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WONDERFUL NEWS MATTS MOM!!! That's what I hoped to hear! I went on the web sites that were suggested and found some interesting material...but...knowing that there is hope that things will get back to some normalcy is wonderful news. May I ask, do you have to take any other medications not that your off Tamoxifen? As for the flashes - yeah - they are something. I'm taking Effexor for that - but it didn't help me today. For the first time in my life I had to go to a special store for a bra and a (dare I say) girdle to help me with the dress I will be wearing to my daughter's wedding. I have to say - I was very embarrassed having someone see all my scars and my very barrel shaped body
- but I need all the help I can get to look nice for the wedding. Well..while trying on these "unmentionables" I broke out with the Mother of all Hot Flashes..I was drenched. I was extremely embarrassed. Thank goodness the clerk was used to it (they have loads of mastectomy bras there)...so she helped me feel better...but it still was an experience. I should be grateful for all of this though. I knew there are women who came before me that would trade places with me in a heartbeat...so I really shouldn't complain - however - this board seems to be the only venue that understands what it's like to have bc. I am grateful for all the advice and guidance everyone has given me. All I need to hear now is that it's useless going on a diet while you're on meds 'cause the diet "AIN'T GONNA WORK'....but I don't think I'll hear that. I'm sure there are women out there that lost loads of weight successfully - it just must be me and my genes. Thank you all! 0 -
Gals...here i am...two years post diagnosis...and no intercourse...can you believe it....2 years....it's too painful...i have that vaginal atrophy...what's that come from..being thrown into menopause from the chemo????? My gyno doc recommended vaginal estrogen suppositories...i seriously questioned that....she said.."i have a sister that's had breast cancer...i know".AND..your young and beautiful..so why not." ...so i tried them for about 2 weeks...then got too freaked out..i thought...i'd rather live 30 more years without intercourse than 10 with.
What do you think?
have you found any pain-relieving remedies than enable intercourse?
fran
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It's a very controversary Idea to use estrogen IF you are ER +, but after the pain, bleeding and what not with intercourse, I've given to using a estrace cream. My gyno said the newer reports are that it doesn't cross the blood barrier. Well, that's simply NOT true, I'm sure, but....I needed to do something. I'm only 50, and be danged I'm going to a live a celebate life.
The atrophy is thinning and drying of the lining and can cause tearing, pain and bleeding with intercourse and pelvic exams and such. It's from chemopause, anti-hormones and all those things that cause you to have little or no estrogen that would have otherwise kept you at least not as dry and kept the lining supple enough to enjoy sex. NOW we have none.
I'm trying this estrace, but want to say, everything I've read says that the e-string has less estrogen supposedly. My plan is to use for 2 months, then switch to replens to see if I can keep it healthy and continue with the non-hormones instead.
There have been many suggestions if you go back, a couple I tried were replens and astroglide, but at the time, I was so dry, neither worked and actually made me sore inside from them. The estrace has helped, but not fully, so I'm hoping another month with it, I'll be at the point to quit it and change over.
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Speaking of mojo...
Does anybody know what aromatase inhibitors do to our testosterone (androgen) levels? It's my understanding that, in post-menopausal women, most of the estrogen comes from androgens (testosterone etc.) being converted to estrogen (estradiol) by aromatase. Male body-builders and weight-lifters, and other male athletes who take "steroids" (androgens) to build strength and muscle mass, sometimes take an AI to suppress conversion of the androgens to estrogen.
Wouldn't it make sense that, if we're inhibiting conversion of androgens to estrogens, our androgen levels would increase a bit? So, wouldn't our testosterone levels be higher on an AI than otherwise? Or, is my recollection of reproductive physiology and organic chemistry too foggy?
I did a pretty good search of the medical literature on this question (MedLine), and found nothing about it in women. That surprised me, considering the popularity of AI's for BC these days.
Where I'm going with this (and there is a destination) is, women are sometimes given low amounts of testosterone to increase libido. I wonder if the AI's are affecting our testosterone levels, if not our libido. Anybody know? (OK...a tiny confession: I think maybe my mojo is coming back, even if my dry-as-toast body can't handle it yet without applying super-lube.)
otter
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