I WANT MY MOJO BACK!
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Hey, my wonderful chicas! I've been so busy lately (not JUST enjoying my awesome manfriend, but definitely doing that too
) and just dropped in to make sure that all is well. I just had to laugh, Deb and wishiwere, when I saw the "warm fuzzy" phrase since it reminds me of s sweet way that P. has to refer to doing the deed....calls it "bumping fuzzies." Me? I call it....well, you know 
......Oh, and Deb, check out the position I described over on the "Singles" thread....very effective!
~Marin
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Oh Marin, that is INDEED a VERY effective position for us. It totally works for me, every time! Good one! Deb
PS-missed you around here! Good thing you are.....busy.....
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so what - everyones off having fun and doesn't need this thread anymore???????? 0
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Jill....I WAS off having mojo so amazing that I can't even describe it! I seriously never thought, in my hottest, wildest fantasies, that my body and my mind could be stimulated in such intense ways and react so extremely! This man is so sensual and so adventurous and so dedicated to giving me pleasure!
This weekend, for example, being Halloween, I emailed him earlier in the day to ask him if he had an eye patch because I wanted to play pirate-ravaging-saloon-whore. He went wild with the idea as I hinted at what I wanted him to do to me and that night, he did those things and much more...apparently his imagination was triggered by my own suggestions. Without providing all of the intimate details, I was completely and totally ravaged and had more orgasms than I could possibly count! Amazing!
Since my Halloween plan was impromptu, I had to improvise my costume, but fortunately have a good collection of corsets, garter belts, etc. But I did find this cool website and am already planning next year's costume. In fact, maybe I won't even wait a whole year to try some of this dress-up:
http://www.sexypiratecostumestore.com/
I'm thinking about this number for Christmas Eve:
http://www.chelseasofnewyork.com/Santa_s_Sweetheart_Top_and_Micro_Skirt_p/c117-rb.htm
Oh my chicas, believe me when I tell you that fantasy role play is most stimulating and just tons of fun!
~Marin
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Aw Marin - you rock girl!!!!!!! and I love the santa outfit!
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and you make me freakin jealous! Even with all the coaching and practice etc - that ain't happening at my house
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Aw, Jill...it's probably somewhat more difficult to behave wildly with 3 kids around, huh? But nothing says that you can't buy a few props, toys, vidoes, etc.....and hide them in a VERY safe place
!~M
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Jill, I'm sure it's hard for you to take sex time for yourself but you must! Get a sitter and go out w/your husb, go to a hot tub place, relax, maybe watch some porn and then...... or, do a babysitting exchange and they can over-night at another couple's house and you two can have at it all over your house without them hearing you have fun! I have a hard time winding down when I have a 'guest' over but luckily my daughter is asleep early and can't get out of her crib (yet!).
I'm too cash-strapped to be able to afford a baby sitter so all my 'action' happens at home. I got some last night and have to say that the third time is the charm. My young man has a smaller penis and this time he used a ribbed condom which I actually liked I've experienced them before with larger men and I yelled "ouch!" but I'll definitely make him use them again next time!
And that's all the mojo I've gotten lately.....
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This is very good news for those of us experiencing low libido as a result of menopause or chemopause! Some may wish to defer judgment pending replication of this study, though, since 4 of the subjects who were randomized to the testosterone (vs. placebo) were dx'd with BC. The investigators conjecture that 2 of these most likely already had BC and one was high risk; however, I think that we, as an exceptional population who are high risk by virtue of our already having had BC, might need to be extra-cautious. Still, this offers hope for being an effective solution to the problem. Then, there's the "unwanted hair," but laser and waxing are a small price to pay for good MOJO, doncha think?!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20081106/hl_hsn/testosteronepatchrestoreslibidoinpostmenopausalwomen
In other "news," I'd like to encourage those of you who haven't tried any extreme fantasizing to really give it a try! Since I've become more open-minded about employing fantasy (in other words, I've accepted that it is not insulting to one's partner to fantasize during sex) AND broadened my own imagination, my O's have increased in frequency and in the time it takes to reach them. For some "encouragement," check out the ones written by posters on this iVillage board:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/listsf.asp?webtag=iv-rlfantasy&nav=start&prettyurl=%2Fiv%2Drlfantasy (see "Steamy Stories").
~Marin
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I know that there is estrogen that you can get.
However it does interupt with the tomoxifen (if you are taking something like that). 
I told my Oncologist that I'd rather go on for the next few years like this with out the help of estrogen. Perking up my sex life is not worth risking the interuption between the meds helping me to live. I am having more, "O's" than I did a few months ago. This week last year was my last chemo session. My sex drive isn't what it was but atleast I get my, "O's" now and then by simply thinking thoughts of stuff that I'd never do (that helps me out a lot). Role playing in the bedroom also helps. I am determined to over come the low sex drive thing with out meds. I am already taking tamoxifen and also hydrocodone for my scholiosis, vitamin e, d and c...I don't need to take anything else...I feel like a walking medicine cabinet. I miss my old boobs but I tell myself that I can not look back. 
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Wow, this thread was just like talking with my girlfriends only none of them have had BC. My dh and I have been together for six years married two.The first 3 years it was everyday (he is 7 years younger) and I could wear him out. I truly believed that the big O was at the top of the list of the good things in life. Then menopause hit and I went from 60 to 0 in no time fast. My dh thought I didn't love him anymore LOL then slowly the libido returned and so did the O's (though they aren't the same ) and then whammo BC and Arimidex and I want to cry because I am back to square 1. But I think I will try lots of creative visualization like Marin suggests, and maybe my MOJO and more will reappear. Thanks ladies for laughs and good ideas! 0
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OmahaGirl...Good for you for your determination to go after it! I absolutely agree that sensual enjoyments and sexual intimacy is one of the greatest gifts we have as humans and such joys should not be surrendered without a mighty fight! That is, in fact, my main reason for posting so often on this thread and others addressing this issue. In think that we who have lost so much through BC shouldn't haven't to lose any more.
So go for the visualizations, etc. I say that anything that can make it "new" and exciting for both of you can get the juices flowing again. And even if you don't hit the jackpot every time, the pleasure of trying can be very rewarding!
~Marin
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I have something to share.....
Since experiencing the loss of my breasts over two years ago, we have gone wild (some pun intended) trying out new "stuff." It's been very effective, don't get me wrong.
However, the other night, you know what we did? We made out. We just totally made out for I don't know how long.
By the time we were up to the grand finale, I was aching with anticipation.
What a novel approach! Deb
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OMG, Deb, that is just sooooooo romantic! And after some years of marriage, a long make-out session is almost tantric!
Rock on, girl!!!
~Marin
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Okay, Deb had to see if it would work so I initiated a makeout session and your right wowwwww, I felt like a teenager again only better. I also went shopping on the internet and bought a tantric loving book, lets get this party started!
Thanks again ladies for all the good ideas..
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Whoo-hoo! It really was very tantric, because we moved so slowly, and focused completely on the sensation of each other.
I think that the lack of breasts really encouraged our make-out session to be so much more. I feel like Gabby on "Desperate Housewives," after she gasps, "Blind sex is amazing!"
Boobless sex can be pretty hot, too. Same principal applies!
Let us know how the tantric book works out!
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You guys make me jealous! My DH FINALLY is sleeping in the same bed as me! After 4 months of me sleeping upright, then himon the couch and not coming to bed.... I feel lost and oh, so sad!
D
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Oh honey, I think a lot of us go through the very same thing. I lost count of how long my dh and I did not sleep in the same bed. I was in the recliner next to the bed for what seemed like an eternity.
The intimacy does come back, but you have to give it time. This is all new for both of you.
It's okay to feel lost and sad-if you didn't, we'd worry.
It does get easier.
Love and prayers, Deb
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Thanks for the support! I really appreciate it! It seems like all we do is hurry up and wait, from dx,to surgery to chemo to life back to semi-normal! I am tired of not feeling normal!
D
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losing my breasts were a big setback for the "O" factor i for one had great sensation in my nipples and that was a big part of my enjoyment i have learned to adapt and find other ways to get mojo back but i still cant help missing that feeling sometimes i love hearing all of marins suggestions i for one do the dressing up in sexy outfits and i promise that definetly helps you feel like a woman and sexy again !!! and of course never met a man would didnt get turned on by it as well
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Therein lies the problem with some of us. Doesn't matter what EFFORT we put into, it turns them on. ANYTHING WILL. It's us that has the problem in that department. Maybe we need to make them get dressed up. In uniforms of some sort..... : 0
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ROTFLMAO!!!!! Get them dressed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahah!!!
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I think that's it wishiwere! Please Marin! Send us links for outfits for the guys to dress up in, so we can be turned on! 0
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OMG, YESSSSSS! I'm so glad I logged on for this topic! I LOVE a dressed-up man! How 'bout a lumberjack....tight jeans and T-shirt with the plaid jacket and....omg, an axe!
Check these out:
http://www.scavengeinc.com/menscostumes-c-257.html?osCsid=da7voscb7hv35mna20q27g96s3
http://www.3wishes.com/mens.asp
On the other hand, I'll take shirtless with tight jeans any day!
~Marin
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wishiwere you are so right! i reread my post and yes it turns them on and yeah anything probably does turn them on hahaha and i do love your idea of dressing them up but i do have to confess that dressing up sexy turns me on as much as him! try it- it does make you feel sexy and that is a turn on to me
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Do any of you ladies tie up your lover? If so, (blush!), what do you use? I'm in the process of trying to play out one of dh's fantasies.
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Hey gals.. well here I am..
Everything in the mojo dept was ok ... until I had a basement cleanup ( oopherectomy, hysterectomy .. ) 6 weeks ago and started arimidex.
We gave it a go after getting clearance from doc.. I was soo dry that he got hurt !!! dang .. have been using replens twice a week, and used astroglide.. seems like not working,.
Heard about estrogen rings.. I am er/pr+ .. are there ones for me too ? Do they help with lubri..
Thanks in advance !
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Okay....have to step in here. Had that problem big time after chemopause and such this last spring/summer/fall....still a little there but then, only trying every week or other doesn't help now
BUT...I had tried the astroglide and replens. REplens did Nuttin for us or me. Astroglide made it worse. I've tried another type of lubricant years ago and had similar problems, caused an infection, so I can't use those
So....we did the estrace cream. Minimal does 1/2 mg 3 X a week. AFter several weeks it did work, but then I quit having hot flashes and was concerned my gyn was nutty, b/c he claimed the latest reports were that it did NOT cross the blood barrier and enter your blood stream..HE lied of course. IT does, b/c my hot flashes returned big time when I didn't use it for 2 or so weeks. BUT....it seems to have helped the dryness and pain area and I'm hoping perhaps replens will keep it supple. Only problem is, now I've had vaginal bleeding and we're concerned with that. I've read it can be caused by the estrace, but of course, he (the gyno) says NOT. My onco is NOT happy I was using it and wants me to cease and desist. THis is the NEW Onco, the head honcho at the clinic. THe one I had didn't care if I used it, as long as I stayed on the arimidex. WTH?so....we are now off it.
I have read though, that the e-string and another one does have the least estrogen lost to the blood barrier. How they figure this I dont' know. I just dont' understand putting estrogen in one end and taking it out the other! LOL
Seriuosly consider your options
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Whoopsie.......
Yes, and I've used some sort of scarf (don't we all have some of those?) and I've also used fake leather straps that I got at a sex store a long time ago. All of those stores have them. Don't forget to blindfold him, too!
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Hey Jaybird, Thanks for coming by, I knew you'd have some good input!
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