Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Hey Bliss-
I am so sorry about your sores! I too had bad reactions, like the sores you are talking about. I asked to be switched to Abraxane instead of Taxol. It is the same drug but mixed in a different carrier. It seems that my alergry was to the mixer the Taxol was mixed with. I am MUCH better on the abraxane....no more sores except a few in my mouth. Good luck!
Hugs
Deb C
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Hi Everyone,
Thanks so much for the encouragement. It always makes me feel better to know I have friends here who understand and care. You all mean so much to me. *big hugs*
Bliss, that does sound totally wretched. I hope you can take what Deb told you to the doc and have them switch you. Most of the time if you mention a symptom or reaction around here, someone will pop up who has been there!
Pinky, I'm sorry about your friend in Richmond. I'm not far from there. Do you live in VA, too?
Traci, I'm sorry you hate your boobs. Do you just feel they are too small? I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to get more surgery. SO much crap can go wrong with every freakin thing we do, eh? Don't worry too much about your weight gain... I've seen your pics and you're gorgeous. Inside and out, btw.
Off to work~~~
Love to all,
Miss S
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Hello ladies and here's a "That SUCKS" to all. My IOS, I have no problem when the ladies here on bco post for help, but there is a poster that is asking for votes so she can win a free wedding. I did a quick check and that the ONLY thing she's posting. I hope she's not playing on emotions to get her free wedding. Ok - I whined, complained.
Traci, Sue - yes it is a little chilly here today isn't it! We love that 110 degree weather in July right?! lol Yes I'm wearing a light sweater at work.
Gentle Hugs all!!!!!!!!!!
Trish
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Traci? COLD? You want to feel cold to your bones lady, come to michigan!
I had ICE on the bird bath water with a good size thickness the other morning! That's cold dear! 
So glad to know it was busy work keeping you away and nothing bad. Here's to hoping your friend makes it big and remembers those 'who' got her there! 
{{{{BLISS}}}} BIG THAT SUX~ There is something wrong here. When you go to an oncologists to get poisoned, you would at the very LEAST expect them treat the SE's that go along with it! My onco was the SAME way for far less SE's that you have and he's history. I Refuse to pay him or have my ins pay him $275+ to run blood test and listen to my heart and send me on. I didn't even the doc referral when I had problems. He just didn't know what to think! I was/am still not happy that all that money went to him for what? A seat in his waiting room for hours? HA! I think as the girls mentioned, perhaps you need a second opinion on your situation. As you say, you have OTHER important disabilities that require attention and as such should have been addressed when choosing and prescribing these poisons. So hope you get relief from it all soon and can find something that relieves at least most of the problems
Your risks are far greater than mine in health issues and a second opinion is warranted.DEB! It's great to see your posting! How are you eyes and SE's going? Haven't read much lately @ them? Hope they are still improving?
To the rest...... BIG that SUX if needed, and bigger {{hugs}} and prayers to you each!
My only IOS is tiny.....just a big ol' PITA complaint....WHY DO I HAVE TO SIGN in every time I turn around? This is nutty for goodness sakes. I just want to come on, read and answer if I want, not transfer into the national soc sec database for gosh sakes!
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Thanks everyone - you guys are the best.
No chemo for me today. My onc was totally rocked on her heels when she looked at my stomach covered with open sores. They are in other places too, but that is the worst area. She was very concerned and cancelled chemo this week for fear of causing an infection or another round of cellulitis that would put me back in the hospital. She did not offer to treat the s/e's, but she was definitely surpised at the severity. Everything is relayed through nurses, who normally do a bang up job but evidently something was lost in translation here. She did pooh-pooh my numb toes and numb/burning finger tips as though Taxol couldn't have possibly done that this fast. I disagreed, and let her know I was sure it was the Taxol and involving my hands was a deal breaker for me.
We are waiting until next week to discuss again, but I know she is very set on continuing Taxol. Perhaps if it is spread out over 3 weeks some se's will lessen or be less severe? I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place. Obviously I want something that successfully kills the cancer, but serious side effects that may not abate after treatment are something to consider as well.
I will definitely look into some of the options you all have given. Tomorrow I go to the wound clinic, which I dread. I call my doctor Dr. Charming because he is one of those fat-phobic doctors. He acts like if he gets too near for too long, it might jump off me onto him. He is good at what he does, so I put up with the poor bedside manner.
Thanks for listening to my crap. Here's hoping for a pain-free day for all, with a big THAT SUCKS just in case someone needs it.
Love to all
~Bliss
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Hey Peeps,
Just joined this site and this thread seemed like a good place to start. I have many days where everything sucks and feel no one has a clue what I am going thru. Except all you cool people. Where to begin? hows this? IT ALL SUCKS from finding the lump to the testing the waiting ,the diagnosis "YES THIS IS A CANCER (remember those words) here is a prescription for Ativan." That was a happy day *eyeroll* "Chemo first" after we test every inch of your body to make sure cancer hasnt spread...put your bewbies in these holes and don't move or breath for 45 minutes.."RELAX, TAKE A NAP".. YA RIGHT!!! I got a false positive with my first MRI which lead to 2 more MRI and a close call MRI biopsy. " Bone scan?" " "Why are you giving me a bone scan?" "does everyone get one??" That nightmare ended ok, No mets was confirmed...Thank you God...
Chemo started out with a bang.Or should I say, Lack of. Why didn't I find this site before I started? then i would have known to take a laxative or 3 or 4 before taking zofran for 4 days. Did someone pour cement in my colon? I thought I was going to die.. Fortunately by chemo #2 I was fully armed with bottles of stool softeners and Milk of Magnesia ( cherry flavor) I think I have a new add campaign for them..
Then the hair,, ahhhh I held on to it by a thread, till my kids where finished with the school year. I dont think I combed it for 5 days and barely moved at the last school function for fear my pony tail would fall on the floor in middle of the buffet line. Then buzzer in hand I shaved it aka GI Jane as my waist length locks fell to the floor, YEP ANOTHER SUCKY DAY.
Oh boy and What a summer!! I had to follow the chemo rules for fear of infection. No sun, No Beach, No parties, no traveling, no raw seafood, no wine, NO FUN!! But heck who wants to go anywhere feeling crappy, bald and gaining weight by the minute anyway?
Chemo ended as I tipped the scale at the same weight I left the hospital after giving birth to my second child. How did this happen? I didnt eat like a horse, i walked i tried to be healthy, i am a fitness professional right? Doesnt matter, cancer makes you fat. SUCKS!...
I remember this conversation well..
"Yo, doc my period stopped and am getting hotflashes" "You say what?" " I am in menopause?
WTF!?!?! No one told me this... come to find out none one told me A LOT of things..
Surgery was last week, I was really looking forward to getting that over with and I am really. Wasnt so bad I guess, Anethesia dried me up like the Sahara desert, throat killed and my arm throbbed but I did get some good pain meds. This drain is a special treat. I know it has its job but its seriously freaking me out. It hurts when I move, can't get comfortable when I sleep. and when I look at it my skin crawls. I don't want to know how far under my skin this thing delves. Went yesterday to get it removed and they sent me home with it still in. Tomorrow we try again..sigh
Yes there are days when I think I am going to have a nervous breakdown dealing with it all. But I know all this is necessary to beat and prevent re occurance of this dreadful disease.
Don't expect any family, friends.husbands,lovers, even the healthcare professionals you deal to truly understand what you are going thru, unless they have been thru it themselves..But we have this blessed board where everything finally comes together and makes sense...
Bless you all, you are all my heros..
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Shelly - sorry you had to join, but welcome, and yes, this thread is a great place to start - we laugh, we cry, we wet the bed... (well, hopefully not the bed-wetting part of it!) Sounds like you've had quite a summer, here's to a much better fall/winter.
Everyone else, I can finally peek my head out (yup, just about done with my project, I send it out for review after one last meeting tomorrow AM) and I'm planning on a nice long read.
In the meantime, a big that sucks to all! And I'm thinking we need to have the scales tipped in the opposite of suckage direction for a while now, just cause...
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Welcome Shelly. Your post was reading some of my own thoughts, only a bit less jumble than my mind would have written them
Funny how our mind wraps around this stuff, but after it's over, it's less clear. I was just telling dh and dd that there are a lot of things/emotional times I do NOT even remember from chemo days. My sister and her beau were building their new house during my treatment and she had voiced concerns to her beau, that they may be getting a spare room done for me b/c she feared our marriage wouldn't make it through. OH MY! I seriously don't remember feeling that way, but she said from what I shared with her, she really thought I would leave him. I remember bits of conversation, but nothing so serious. And yet....I do remember saying time and again, I just wanted to get in my car and drive away in the sunset. It's scary what parts I do NOT remember, but dh, dd or my sister recalled. Must have been great drugs, b/c they did in fact keep me home and complacent with the agenda. Thankfully, the bowels, the arm and such have resumed normal functions and I can feel at least like life it going to get better each day and continue on. I rememeber well at one point, how these women at stage IV and doing lifetimes of treatments cope. THEY are my heros. My mentors, my leaders in life. I commend them for their strength, their love to share their road, their continued hope in treatment for a cure for them and for those who follow them. THEY are the ones for whom prayers never end, and will always be directed. A cure....what a God Sent gift to all. Okay....I'm wanting to second the motion for the SOI direction! Prayers and hopes that everyone is without suckage today, or at the least, on the down side of it and heading up to the soi side! Good Luck ladies!
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WhaSux?? TOO much--I just wrote a LONG post & it vanished---that sux! I'll attempt a shorter version:
Pinky--hugs--you seem to be hanging in there--that is good-it will eventually be over & you will look MAHVEHLOUS!!! sorry about the bf drinking--I thought it was a one time thing....hugs
Shelly--welcome---you put it pretty succinctly! IT SUX for sure, but this thread allows us to say whatever we need without fear of freaking anyone out---it is a great place. Hugs
Bliss--do NOT let anyone bully you into unproffessional, inadequete or incompassionate care! There are other drugs & other docs---trust your gut (your poor sore-covered gut!) Gentle HUGS
Miss S--Remember that our imaginations will take us far worse places than the reality ever will-especially in the middle of the nite. I have enough experience to be considered a pro at that------hugs
Trish--using the boards just to win a free wedding? That SUX--and is enormously tasteless---shall we sabotoge her??? LOL
Wish--getting pretty chilly here in Wis too----but we'll think this is warm come Jan!!!
Traci, LuAnn, Nicki, & Deb-----Good to see ya here----We need more of all of you! Are you discharging your civic duty by posting regualrly?? HERE?? LOL
I have had another IOS-free day (knock on wood) A big that SUX to all who need it! Be well & stay strong!
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Shelly, welcome and glad you found a good place to vent! And yes cancer does make you fat! People think you get all skinny and sickly with cancer and unfortunately that happens as you near death from this dreaded disease, otherwise you blow up like a balloon from all the dang gone steriods.
Bliss, please look into the other meds because I think taxol is just too toxic for you. As for the neuropathy (numb toes or fingers) try taking vitamin B6 that is known to help those s/e.
As for people coming here asking them to help win a contest, I hate that unless that person went through some extreme hell and it is something that would really benefit them. For instance, giving a dying stage IV sister a dream vacation she never had in her life was something I would help with, a wedding contest, not.......
Hope I didn't miss anyone, but I am going to try and drag my sorry butt to the store....on a good note I got an appt tomorrow morning at the pain clinic to adjust my pain pump again. Maybe I will be able to sit again without having to take about 50mg of diluad!
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A short note of empathy to those who are experiencing suckiness, especially that pertaining to alcohol & other drugs (how can something that can be the anti-suck on so many occasions, at others be the source of so much suck?).
My IOS is that my attempts to be calmer and Zen-like in my approach to life and cancer ("Like a feather to a bubble, I will let this go...") are not working and it is f**king pi**ing me off.
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rock,
I love you.
Sue
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rOCK-
Sorry you are feeling F---ING pI$$ed off. How about if you shove over on that couch so I can join you? We can do some good cussin' and maybe throw something that will make a BIG noise when it lands? That always makes me feel better, as long as someone else feels bad enough to clean up my messes.
Hugs
Deb C
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I thought about going to that site and voting a ton of times for someone else, but you know? I'm too tired.
Moved two huge bushes today that have sitting in the back of my trailer which I needed to clean up other debris I've been cutting back, and dh has been too busy on his 24 hours catching up other things, so I said F*#*RY* IT, and did it myself. Probably will now be crawling out of bed by morning, but hey! I did it MY WAY! Now, that lady SUX for coming for only that reason to garner votes! BAA humbug on her christmas and getting the votes. Lot of people in china so I'm thinking she's beat already!
Saint! Cool, no IOS's today! That'a SOI in and of itself!
Oh {{{ROCK}}} I felt that anger come through my screen as I read it! Please let me know if what I caught, is now lessening your burdens dear lady! Take a deep breath, hold it for 5 seconds and blow it slowly. Repeat. Do you feel any more zen like? I have no idea what that feels like, but it always sounds so calming itself
Hope you are feeling better now too!That's the worse of living alone (basically anyway), it's always a mess I'm left with, IF I throw something when I'm mad. So, I've given up throwing and just rant to the kitties!
I swear, they run away and then laugh at me later for it! Danged kitties anyway!0 -
Rock, I'm with Deb throw something! Make sure it makes a super loud noise! Something really relaxing in that unless you have to clean it up LOL In college my room mate and I would throw a racquet ball at the wall (we had a concrete block wall) when we were stressed and frustrated. Of course we did get charged damages for all the blue circles we left on the wall....
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I forgot to mention, Deb I love seeing you posting and in good spirits! Is your sight improving? I really hope you are getting better and improving because I sure missed you while you were having a rough time.
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You women are wonderful. My college roommate kept a collection of glass jars that she would periodically take to the alley behind the house and heave them against the bricks. (She'd sweep.) And your recommendation to throw something reminded me of something that I see almost every day that makes me laugh.
I live near a big cathedral. At the top of the cathedral (in the back) is a statue of Gabriel blowing his trumpet. But! From certain angles, it looks more like Gabriel is firing a shotgun.
I DO like visualizing Deb and all of us sitting on a very long couch (a banquette??) parked by the side of a lonesome highway in a desert throwing ... throwing... NOISEMAKING STUFF or rotting squash and maybe randomly shooting guns into the air.
and THEN we'll do some breathing exercises! You women are wonderful, you really are.
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HI ((((((((((( everyone )))))))))))))))))))
After zonking out for a good 4 hours after chemo, I am trying to make notes for individual responses and it is not working. numb fingers is common, My onco recommended B complex and it is not getting worse, but not really "better" either. And a doctor who blows you off with side effects, THAT F@*King SUCKS... They are the so called experts and nothing is worse than feeling like you are being a baby or whimp -even IF you are, you are dealing with a very scary thing. Open sores are not "normal". My skin is super sensitive - allergic to adhesive tape and scrub soap. Vitamin E is good for the skin and there are creams to ease the itch and to help heal. MY IOS is very dry skin and keeping some kind of cream or lotion on it helps. Also, I ws using Dove for sensitive skin and found that Tone soap is better for me. Eucerin Calming cream also. I would suggest a Rx cream, but that should be done by your doctor - I use one with NO cortizone in it, but only when the skin gets flaky and I want to itch with steel wool.
Throw ice cubes at a brick wall - or in the shower, but watch for the glass sliding door. I live alone and once threw a pot of spahetti at the floor. It bounced out of the pan (forgot to say I had put the sauce on it already) onto the cupboards, some even ended up on the ceiling and all over the front and side of the fridge. Guess who had to get the step stool, and then clean the entire ceiling and all the rest of it, not to mention wash the throw rug, etc, etc... ?? I am thinking of having my next kitchen painted camoflague color so no spots or stains show...!!!
Mega gentle HUGS for all. THAT SUCKS. Nancy
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Another idea for "throwing" - sling shot??? Ever do water balloons when younger? Sling shot AND water balloons....
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WhaSux??
OK--I say we go with rock's idea---with this group I'm expecting great things---add YOUR visualized release valve suggestions!!!
I'm adding a catapult---filled with rotten, stinking animal poop (hey-we gotta pick it up-may as well put it to good use) which is going to land on ALL the a$$holes in our lives---like deadbeat dads, pitas & docs that don't listen!
Be well & stay strong
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ok saint, but what do you do with the boobies that are flashed at random? LOL LOL LOL
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OMGosh! I have to tell you ladies something, and I hope that the neighbors don't read this! LOL
Speaking of animal poop! We had 2 dogs, and fenced in 2 acres to corral them. They stayed in the without fail. Well, the NEIGHBORS are too cheap to fence their 2 sides that don't abut ours, but had a huge laborado. Great dog, but during the rain or snow times, he used one of my hosta gardens to poop without fail! It wasn't in the fenced area of our yard, but on the side. I'd get ticked finding these huge horse (not HOUSE ) piles of crap in my garden. Finally, I took a shovel one night after their lights were out and placed it on their top step to the door they used.
Never had a problem again
Visualize...I missed the view of them finding it or feeling it the next morning. Too bad though, they aren't the type to walk barefoot to get their paper in the morning 0 -
catapult them I say!!!!!!!!!!
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Ohhh-so sorry, but I coudn't resist!!! LOL
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sorry--don't know what possessed me--that poop cartoon was too gross---ain't no saint.......
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Miss S- I'm so sorry that you have had a worrisome scan result. I do know that, as others have said, many things can cause 'radiographic artifacts', so we'll just hope that's what this is until we know otherwise. When is your CT scan?
Deb, rock, et al - I am with you on the swearing and throwing massive objects. Let me know when the gathering of the sisters takes place - shooting off guns in the desert! Maybe another trip to Vegas? Nevada is a very gun-friendly state.
Bliss, I'm just adding my voice to the chorus of THAT SUCKS about your onc blowing you off. I have heard many of those s/e coming from the Taxol carrier. I agree with the Abraxane suggestion - you shouldn't have to suffer. Does that onc not realize what a risk it is to have you continue despite your neuropathy symptoms? It took nearly nine months for my neuropathy to begin to diminish - and I earn my living with my hands. Your very mobility depends on it! Hope you can smack some sense into that woman!
I keep hearing about the adventures in Vegas, but when's someone going to post a link to a flicker or snapfish album?!? We have to get our ya-ya's out vicariously through you lucky ladies who got to go!
ShellyJo - welcome!
Lisa
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I did that on a military base once. You were required to keep your animal on a chain in your yard or fenced in and you must scoop after your dog. My neighbor forever let there dog loose to poopie in my yard. At this point in time i hadn't become an animal person so after dark one night I took all the nice little piles of poop in my yard and dropped them all over their driveway. Made quite a mess. They got the message and I had not more poopie problems
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See there! That's why we get along so well!
Great Minds Think Alike! 0 -
no we don't, we throw poop alike!!!! ROFL!!!!
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Had to read that twice to understand. Tired tonight. 0
