Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Okay, A big sucking friday halloween to us all. I scanned all the messages since my last time on a couple days ago and I must say, cancer f...ing sucks.
I had a fill today and was anxious all of yesterday. MY SO is drunk again. He got pissed at dinner when I asked him what he wanted drink. He replied poision and I said you supply yourself with that. I feel much better having said it. Now he is in the basement sulking like the drunk he is.
My chest is tight. Feels like a 10 pound baby resting on it. I was hoping to get date for transfer to have the ps tell me about four months from now. I had no idea it took that long to heal and get the exchanges.
After dinner I was sitting around and had to hear about how the cancer surgery was over in an hour and my discomfort now was a choice. My feeling are that to walk around with no breast is not a choice. Between my father and my SO, I don't know who is the most insensitive about this.
To all I missed sorry for you sucking day. I hope life gets better for us all.
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Hey! I feel left out! I'm only 5 foot tall - can I bite them in their knees?
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Okay, a teensy IOS -- older teenagers, out of high school, not even dressed in costumes, who knock on your front door looking for candy after you've turned off your front door lights! I mean, for cripes sake, go away!! And if you're going to be so rude as to be begging candy when you're not even a little kid anymore, at least make the effort to wear a f**king costume!!
Lisa-babe, welcome! At 5'10" we can be the advance guard or something, both wielding our shovels proudly & being fresh & menopausal together! I gotta get to work on our costume design........
Colleen, that article is soooo cool! Your son just rocks. What a great kid! By the way, I'd like to hear about Prague sometime. Have wanted to go there. Am told it's one of the most beautiful & unsucky cities in the world. Did you go out to Bohemia also?
Sue, you are so right about the dames on the "can't get my act together" thread, definitely already honorary BITCH Squad members.
Sorry to hear about Deb. THAT SUX doesn't even begin to cover it.
BOO + B spells BOOB! Happy Halloween.
Kathi
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Does any one a nice way to tell someone that theyhave start drinking way too much lately. And that their drinking is having a negative affect on him. This person is a neat freek! Dishes mush be wash, store wiped off, bathroom cleaned and no more than one laod of clothes in the hamper. But when starts hsi drinking., he walks around and find something wrong about everything The printer was jammed, it had to be something I did. I walked down the steps and said "trick or treat and he thought I had a voodoo doll. I laughted because he is that high. Agbout a half bottle of crown royal, keeps in the bag so he donent know who much he drinks.
Now I will go down and start a conversatuib w=ith him and he will of course and take the lead. Wow/!1When drunk man s insistent to be the dominate in a conversation it can be tricky.
this may no ,make any sense becuase I ahve take 2 viocatan and a ambien. But I plan to be really bitchy tonoght. He has earned it and so have i and I declair this a opne zone for war fare this evening. I am speakinh my peace and having a vodka/orangejuice. (with simply that Ii do now have. I going down stairs and act jus tlike him.
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Jane, knee biting is very effective in combination with head-bopping. You'll be a great addition to Team BITCH!
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Funny, I was thinking about just that - there is a place for everyone on the team, and short or tall, there are more than enough cans of whup ass to go around!
Lisa - Anxiously awaiting good news from your MRI
Everyone else, read but need to go to sleep, will respond tomorrow...
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Pinky, there is no point in stepping to his level and the mixing of alcohol and meds you did tonight is dangerous for yourself. It's more importnat to take care of you than step to his level.
I've had a sucky day, not sure what is wrong but I hit one of those funks and have been very low for the last day or so. I am sleepping so much from meds that I hate it. I was so excited about my ghoste hunters that was on tonight and i haven't stayed awake long enough to see more than 5 minutes of it. Lots more but not worth boring everyone. The biggest part is car people, they mistreat women so F*#&(& bad!!! I stopped at the shop to get my breaks fixed before they got bad and messed up the rotors. We all know the scrapping sound when it is time before its too late. Trying to teach my son about this stuff. So I dropped the car last night at this shop and they call me today telling me all this crap is wrong and it will be $1,200 when they are done fixing my breaks. I call my brother in PA right away, not knowing what he can do but he takes everything down they told me and phone number. He called and got the owner and laid into him. Let him know that he did appreciate these people messing with his sister who is dying of cancer an only needed her breaks fixed. He knew what shape they were in because he worked on them them last fall and warned me they would be needing done soon. Turns out they are telling him I misunderstood the guy but when my son picked up my car they gave him this outrageous estimate that they claimed they didn't make to me. UGH!!!! Now I need to find someone to look at my breaks and fix them soon because I need to have a running car.
Top that off with pain in my sternum, this is where my mets started and now the mind is racing. New I was getting off to easily to long.... Oh well now to get all my kids in safely on a friday night that is also halloween. Getting hell from DIL because she wants to party and I want her home to take care of her chldren....Tonight is going to be a major blowout in my house I would bet if things don't start improving.
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I spent 4 hours in the ER last night covered in hives due most likely to the last Taxol I had on Thursday. And I was all excited that chemo was done and I was on to the surgery consult next Thursday. Even scheduled the MUGA scan for Monday. I called the oncologist on call and she said to get the the ER before it escalated to a more severe reaction - like respiratory or cardiac, but at that time it was not an ambulance call. So, I took a taxi over, phoned my son and wife to meet me. They ran an IV with benadryl, pepcid and steroids. Most of the hives are gone now, after taking another 50 mg of benadryl when I got home, as suggested. And I have a Rx for an epi pen, which I am to carry with me at all times... My BP was pretty high, probably due to the fear and anxiety,but it also came down to a normal range before I went home.
Over the years I have had reactions to lots of medications, chocolate, strawberries, pollen, scrub soap, adhesive tape - when they ask if I have allergies, I tell them they do not have enough room to put them all. I also wear a Medic Alert and carry a card in my wallet. And printed up stick on labels - to paste on any medical forms. LIving alone makes it more scary, since IF I should have had a severe reaction - would I have been able to summon help?
My son and his wife met me and took me home. They had not had dinner, so I let them go on their way and the benadryl knocked me out.
THAT SUCKS to all with IOS. May SOI be your mantra this weekend. and do not forget to change the clocks back on hour. HUGS, Nancy
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Okay, #1, sign me up for the B*TCH squad. I'm there! Hay fork, garden fork, sledge, all shined up and ready to roll with our 'gang' ~
LuAnn! I certainly HOPE that young mother (dil) of yours STAYED put last night with her family! I'm wondering whether or not she's planning on moving to be ready for your son's arrival? Any movement that way? BIG SUX on the pain and fear that comes along with that sternum
Darn, it's never ending lady...hoping your relief of pain and fear~ Prayers your dil came to her senses and stayed HOME with her children rather than out to have a good time at your expense {{{{NANCY}}}} DARN, talk about a scare yes! Do you have a number programmed on your cell for 911? I use the number 5, just in case it's dark, or in a situation where I can't see it. Sounds like it's be a good idea for you hon! So glad you got tx quickly, b/c allergic reactions are serious stuff for certain!
Pinky, hope you didn't mix drugs and drink last night, not a good combo as neither is stooping to his level
Be happy for you when you get out there and can move on with your life.BIG SUX to those that need it and I missed!
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Holy Suckola!! The goblins have been out for some of you these last few days.
Pinky, at the risk of committing unlicensed armchair diagnosing, your guy may be depressed/overwhelmed and/or even have a form of obsessive compulsive disorder, which is a kind of depression/anxiety turned into repetitive behaviors or things like a controlling need to be neat & have things "just so." He can't control your cancer, for instance, so he's trying to control the house, you, etc. AND, people with untreated/unspoken problems like this frequently resort to alcohol or other substances in a vain attempt to "treat" their symptoms & feel better (or if not better then just numbed to or different from how they usually feel).
So, guess what? You can't fix him! But you can take care of yourself & maybe throw some info his way. Here's some links:
1) support here on bc.org for SO's: http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/16/topic/157741
2) info on depression: http://www.pristiq.com/depression_symptoms.aspx?WT.mc_ID=74CB3E8D-6D1B-469D-96DF-FD366791A112&WT.srch=1&WT.mc_ev=click
3) info about OCD: http://www.ocfoundation.org/what-is-ocd.html
4) info about 12-step programs for people with substance abuse issues/addictions & the people who put up with them:
http://www.12step.org/Web-Sites/
http://www.codependents.org/ (this is for you, so you don't get sucked into his sh*t; also, check out Al-Anon at the link below)
http://www.the12steps.com/Al-Anon-Alateen.html
Pinky, honey, been there, done that, lived with a depressed/alcoholic father who did finally quit drinking & a mother who had a personality disorder; watched my best friend's mother die of alcohol when we were kids, on & freakin' on. Just don't take on his shit. He needs help, he has to want the help & you need to set limits.
LuAnn, I say we put those auto mechanics on our BITCH Hit List. Because they SUCK!
Nancy, yikes! I'm glad you survived your ordeal. Is that Medic Alert the bracelet with the red symbol on it? You might want to look into also having a personal alert button, which you can wear & press in an emergency which will contact your son, the EMT's, etc. automatically. Some links:
http://www.lifelinesys.com/?campaign=101&gclid=CJuhjbOf1JYCFQslHgodnB_m2Q
http://www.buymedicalalert.com/
Just call me the Queen of Links -- "Knowledge is Power"
Love & hugs to all, Kathi
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Kak, I looked into the personal alert thing and I am in a location that will not pick up the signal. However, I put one phone on the floor in case I am "down" and can hopefully crawl over to it if needed. I also have voice activation on my cell and pre programmed 911.
My medic alert is on a black sport type bracelet with velcro closure that I wear on my ankle. They have necklaces and bracelets, but the necklace would get caught on things and I half choked myself with it. BTW, (by the way), I have been called " super klutz "...
You can check online for more information on Medic Alert -- Kak, another link for you!!! I am grandfathered in with a life time membership with no additional fees for updates and changes. However, the annual fee is WELL worth it - believe me. IF you think of the cost of one of our medications...
I am back to looking like the typical BC - chemo warrior: bald, no eyebrows and pasty white complexion -- no red spots... Gotta celebrate the small victories and battles won.
And a suggestion for those who live alone: put in ICE on cell - In Case of Emergency -- # of relative or friend to call in an emergency. Police and medical personnel are trying to get everyone to do it so they can contact when necessary. I also have a list of doctors, contact persons and medications on the back of my entrance door. When an emergency person goes out the door, it is very noticeable and important information to have.
THAT SUCKS for those who need it today. And I have been known as a BITCH for a very long time. Babe in Total Control of Herself. Put me on the cheering squad and transportation list: my energy level is below par, but I stand 5'9 and have that "mom look" that can scare the whiskers ( or other body parts) off of any grown man... My station wagon has a roof rack - use your imagination for what we could do with that...!!!! And a shovel is in the cargo area !!!
yes, I have a very weird sense of humor. Please do not be offended. No one needs help with the down side of our lives,but a smile or chuckle sends those good endorphins and helps with one's mood and outlook. Thanks for listening to my moans and groans. May you all have very UN SUCKY weekend. And do not forget to turn the clocks back one hour.
HUGS and Blessings, Nancy
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I'm definitely in the group. It was bad enough with the shingles after the last surgery but now Lyme disease? What the f*@#. Getting out my trusty pitchfork and heading towards the muck heap....
Luanne, hope it all goes well, maybe the car just needs to drive 14 miles on a dirt road at top speed. Oh, wait a minute, we already did that.........LOL
A big THAT SUCKS to all who need it.
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Check out my new avatar - that was me yesterday..
Nancy - I have been looking at medic alert bracelets on e-bay and they are all tacky looking. I'm not looking for a tiffany bracelet, but I would like something feminine looking. Do you know where I could find something like that.
I was hoping someone else would ask this question, so I wouldn't seem dumb, but what does IOS stand for?
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IOS are Issues Of Suckage.
There are a number of companies that make medical alert bracelets etc. This one has some styles that are a bit different than the standard ones.
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This is the bitch thread isn't it? Well, I'm going to give a bit of a rant even if it's not.
Last night was Halloween. I have always done a great job with the candy and creating a fun atmosphere for the kids. I buy fresh, good, candy. Safe candy. The kind I always felt my kids would be safe with. I greet the kids and give fistfulls of candy out to everyone or let them take whatever they want. The bowls are huge and full of whatever a kid could want. I give a Halloween Buffet!!
Well, this brings me to last night where we experienced a real first. At least for me. I could not believe this. My son, daughter and I were each taking turns at the door with the huge bowl of candy. Parents were either with the kids, or on the sidewalk or street in front of the house while the kids would come up to the door.
After a crowd of kids came by, it was my son's turn next to answer the door. I heard a girl's snotty little voice like someone at the Customer Service department of a store! Here was this little sh*t demanding of my son, "Did THIS lollipop come from YOUR house? Because it looks like it was UNWRAPPED - LICKED - and WRAPPED BACK UP again!"
My son looked at the offending lollipop and replied, "No, those aren't the kind we're giving out." (My bowl had a huge assortment of individually wrapped candy from M&M's, various candy bars, age appropriate choke prevention candy, sealed lollipops, Milk Duds, healthy individually wrapped fruity candy, and a bunch of other things I can't even remember them all.
So I came to the door and my son said he was done with this now. I didn't blame him. I looked out on the sidewalk to see this congregation of about 15 people - kids and adults, all looking inside their plastic pumpkins and sacks. I watched this for a moment, holding my giant bowl of candy, then called out, "Is everything OK? Our house only has sealed candy that I just bought at the market!" and I described the lollipop style we carried. Nobody out there answered me. So I said, "Would anyone like something different? I have all kinds of candy here...." Then went on to describe my various brands and so on. Finally, a woman looks up and says, "Oh, no. Nevermind."
O M G !!! O M G !!! Is this the new Halloween "normal"? Publically gathering outside the brightly lit and welcoming home of a family, where a parent has sent their child or children up to get candy....and then sends them BACK to ask if THIS house was THE ONE who gave out a potentially "unwrapped - licked - then wrapped back up again" LOLLIPOP???
And then there is me of course practically bending over backwards to describe exactly the brand of lollipops I was giving along with all the other stuff to the motley assortment of wary parents. Naturally, I just HAVE to keep on with the nice me that I always am in public and wait until every pumpkin bucket or sack has been examined to determine what came from our house and what came from someone else's~! OH. OH.
Let me tell you all something. Our house is nice, brightly lit, nice smiley pumpkins outside, nice friendly people inside, EXCELLENT candy I might add - I know this is a good time to continue on with good neighborhood relationships via dispensing the "good stuff", not the stuff that gets thrown in the street. These people must have come from somewhere (I did not recognize them) to get candy from a neighborhood. But to actually send a kid up to basically ask if a home gave them a candy that really would have qualified as a crime? I mean I would think giving out partly licked then re-wrapped lollipops is some sort of crime nowadays! If they were concerned, wherever the darn offending lollipop came from - the parents should have just said to give it to them, and then thrown it out! But to actually SEND a kid back to interrogate the resident if something that looked gross came from YOUR house?!?! OMG. !!
Well. I have decided that NEXT Halloween, my lights will be out, my doors will be locked, the pets will be inside, and we will all not be home. We shall go to the movies.
Halloween scrooge hanna
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Hanna:
Bitch on. That rates right up there with those teenagers with no costumes coming looking for free candy. Actually, sometimes their costume is "teenager covered in shaving cream and eggs."
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I have seen those people. We used to visit a friend of ours so our children could run around together. They drive around with a van full of kids to do the most neighbourhoods in one night. And since they are greedy and stupid, they ruin the holiday for you. Im sorry but you NEED to let your Bitch out. Dont miss the fun. Learn from it. Next year buy one kind of candy. When Miss Snotty comes to the door, smile at her and tell her to take her rude attitude somewhere else. You are not handing out lollipops. Or poisoned apples. And if you were, she'd be first to get one. Dress as a witch to remind yourself you are the Hallowe'en Bitch.
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Im not much in the way of violence but would love to have a shovel.....
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Holy crap........complaining about the frickin' halloween candy??!!?!?! A huge "THAT SUCKS!" to all who need one...
My IOS today isn't really even mine, but it sure burns me up. My mom is almost 72 years old. She's a "young" 72 and does all sorts of volunteer work--working at a soup kitchen, making bandages to be sent overseas, working at a thrift store, etc. At the thrift store, she actually cleans and repairs things before putting them on the floor. She spend hours every week there. I wish I lived closer, because I'd sure like to go to a thrift store where everything is neat, clean, and tidy!
Anyway, she went in yesterday to do a little work and someone stole her frickin' purse!!! It had EVERYTHING in it...driver's license, medicare card, social security card, cell phone, check book, credit cards...HOLY CRAP! The way she described the incident, it sounds like someone almost had to be following her around and waiting for her to set the purse down and turn away. What nerve! I just can't wrap my head around how somebody can do that.
I'm sure I have some shovels somewhere, but I'm thinking a pneumatic nail gun with the nails on a strip like maching-gun ammo might come in handy. Oh, and Nancy's roof rack--I'll bring the bungee cords! (BTW, Nancy...I am "ultra klutz" around here, so I feel your pain! LOL)
((((HUGS))) and a better weekend to all.
Diane
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Nancy, I can't believe you can't get a signal where you are for a personal alert thing. That SUX! I live alone, too, & I've gotta get my cell phone programmed with emergency numbers & the ICE thing. Good idea. At least we can program a cell so we can punch one button. You DO get a cell phone signal where you are, I hope!!!!
Jane, LOL-squared about your new avatar!!!
Hanna, dreamwriter is right about those kind of people. Maybe next year, you should dress as the Bitch Witch from Snow White & give out "poisoned" apples. Scare 'em off. Or get one of those Freddy masks from Friday the 13th. Or dress as Lord Voldemort or something.
Diane, love your avator, also. Tres cute & very unsucky. Are those really your pets? Like the idea about the nail gun! Now you're talkin'!! Let's bring on the POWER TOOLS!
Yeah, that's what you should do next Halloween, Hanna. Answer the door with a freakin' chain saw in your hand!! HAH, HAH!!!!
Kathi
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Hey everybody,
I've been in a funk lately.....I'm sorry for everybody's ios's. ((((LuAnn)))) Hey Hanna!
Hugs, Traci
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Big that SUX, Traci for funky mood
So sorry....hoping it disappears with that hour we lost last night Or gained, or whatever it is....can never remember...only know we were up an hour early to see dh off....was kind of nice having an extra hour with him though 
Only problem I see with power tools girls, is that I'm too weak this year to carry anything with a battery, so unless it's close enough for a cord, I'm SOL
BUT....should it be CLOSE enough to a power cord, and I do have over 400 feet of cord (I know b/c that's how long I had to connect to do the weedwhacking now that I can't carry the gas powered one), then we're all set! 0 -
I'm not much good with power tools but is there anything we could do with a lawn tractor? hahaha I'm "hell on wheels".
S.
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Whasux all? Just a quick pop-in, boo hiss to greedy Halloweeners; Traci - sorry about the funk, hope you defunk soon-ish; whomever's mom had their purse stolen - are you freakin' kidding me? that's awful!
A big hello to all, hoping for a non-sucky Sunday...
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Good morning,
I didn't have a drink Friday night nor did i pick an argument. The funny thing is life has been better since I last posted. He acknowledged that he has been drinking a lot and we actually had a conversation.
this morning he is helping me clean the house and we are expecting my niece to stop by better.
Some people deal with things in strange ways.
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Pinky,
So glad to hear things went better as you didn't sink to his level!!!! The advice you've gotten here about letting his sh&t be his sh&t is good advice. We had to send my youngest son to drug rehab a year ago April and we learned so much about how codependency works--it's like, the whole family gets addicted to the drama of the addict--even while you are going through it and thinking, I wish this wasn't happening, it's the devil you know so it keeps repeating and you keep putting up with it. Highly recommend some Al-Anon, or Melanie Beatty's books about codependency. (My son is clean and sober for 18 months now thank God. He was (is) a drug addict.)
Praying for strength for you and wisdom, Pinky.
TRACI!!!!! DE_FUNK, girlfriend! I think I'll call you up!
Wish, I miss talking to you every day, it was one of the GOOD things about doing chemo, you were always there to listen. Thanks for that. (sniff, sniff).
Love all you guys--here's to no suckiness!!!!
Sue
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Hanna
The Wizard of Oz used to scare the s*@t out of me, too. I could watch all sorts of scary movies on TV, but that one always gave me nightmares.
Does anybody know if chemo changes our eyesight? I wear glasses and I am having trouble reading. They still work for distance, but I have to look over the top of them to read or hold what I am reading an arm's length away from my face.
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Jane,
Are those strictly distance glasses that are giving you issues? I had that problem a few years back, long before BC, and now I use progressive lenses. It may be more a SE of age than of chemo.
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Not really. I use them for both distance and reading, but they are not bi-focals. Maybe I need to get them switched.
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