Stop Smoking Support Thread
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Just wanted to send lots of BIG gentle hugs to everyone
I wish I had a way with words so I could tell you all just how much you have come to mean to me. Just being able to come here has kept me sane through the waiting process. Sometimes your posts lift my spirits and other times they just break my heart and I hate that I don't know what to say. Just know that you are all in my thoughts and in my prayers daily.
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P.S. this time next week I'll be in recovery...I am kinda of amazed I am not freaking out but at the same time I feel GOD is with me and just know I'll be ok...0
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o2bhealthy - Big hug back at cha. I know what you mean by having a way with words....I surely don't! Sometimes I just say whatever I feel, others times I don't feel I can word things correctly so I say nothing or just type something short. We'll be thinking of you next week....when is your surgery?
Fellow buttfondlers - I haven't been gone from this thread, just been kinda lurking around. Had no idea so much was going on. I see more new faces which is wonderful! I've been chain smoking like crazy lately and I'm not sure why! I used to be in the mode of wanting to quit and I don't know what happened.
I keep thinking of Pantufas talking about the cyst I had that was literally being a pain in the ass, so true! Now I have a another cyst that's in my ear...WTF??? Yeah, surgery is Monday, my doc will be cutting out the cyst cavity....ouch!
Okay, enough about me! It's gross anyway!
I'm cheering you all on...the ones wanting to quit, trying to quit and the quitters!
<HUGS>
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DAMN IT! Thanks for the update on our dear friend Nancy, Pat, Susan. Oh, she will be in my thoughts. Janzin, I DO think the mango rum cry fest is in order. I HATE this damn disease.
O2bhealthy, I KNOW you will be ok too. Our thoughts are with you as well.
2newboobs, I am sorry your "pain in your ass" has moved to your ear. All jokes aside, that stinks. I hear you on losing the urge to quit. After failing the last 3 times (I made 5 weeks once) I am just so frustrated. All this while I am watching a dear friend die of lung cancer, caused from his smoking. I hate that I have developed the "I don't care" mood. You can come chain smoke with me anytime.
Hugs to all.
Ellie
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Hi Ladies!
Glad to see so much support. I am not good with words either, terrible at grammar, etc. I write for my own website and one of my staff offered to edit my text which is awesome. I too am still smoking and have tried about 4 times to quit since I joined in Jan. But I haven't given up. I know some of our members have given up and I see them sometimes on other threads. But cancer is serious and now that we may lose Pantufas, I am going to try harder. She has been in the hospital with pneumonia and her immune system is down and they can't figure out what is wrong. When I was talking to her yesterday she tried moving and could hardly breathe and you could hear her struggle and that she was in pain. Breaks my heart that I couldn't be there to help her. They are trying to build up her strength for surgery but as of right now they are afraid she won't make it through surgery. She finds out in a couple of days what's going on. I told her she should get some more opinions, sometimes it takes a few Dr's to figure out what is going on. Any suggestions I will take them to her as I an new to this. Chemo really broke her down and her smoking did not help.
o2bhealthy, thanks for checking in and the hugs, that's all it takes. I hope your recovery goes well next week. I am a pro at recovery, got my Netflix worked out to have my favorite movies during recovery, books, pre cooked meals, etc. Sounds like you have a wonderful DH and family there to help you. Sending best wishes! Missed you.
2NewBoobs, missed you too. I go back and forth about quitting too. Nervousknitter took a long time to quit, so hang in there, it may come to you. But lurking is great as it shows you still have a little interest and we still have a full life ahead. Guess I am sounding preachy but now I worry about all of you. Got a wardrobe yet? Thanks for your support and hugs, wishing you well and good luck with your cyst, sounds painful.
Fifish, missed you too. I have been chain smoking too on some days, depending on my energy and mood. I am so sorry that you watched a friend die from lung cancer. I hate this disease too and that is why I think about our project. It feels good to give back and it lifts my mood. I started drawing some laying down women but I am thinking that maybe the lay down logo should be used for any cancer or health charities. And the BC Butt Fondlers I was thinking about abbreviating it just in case some are shy to wear that on their shirt. Just knowing what it stand for says a lot about us. I have a few more days on my tournament and will start working on the logos and then start on the site. Love all your ideas, keep them coming. Even Luras had some good points. Hope she is doing great. And all of you putting in your two cents helps a lot as this is about us and the future us.
Sorry for the long writing, guess I have been pretty lonely and a lot on my mind. I was naive to think that we were okay here in this thread so I am a little shocked about the recent event. My suggestion to all of you is to remember why you started posting in the first place, as that hasn't changed except that we have less fear as we start putting BC behind us. You are all too beautiful and I want to see you around for many years. It doesn't matter if it takes a year or two, what matters is that we get there. I've had a non smoking mind off and on for over 6 months, I hope to be a non smoker on July 1st.
Much love,
Janet0 -
flfish - Yeah, I wish we didn't have the "I don't care" attitude. I'm hoping it will change! SOON!!!
(((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))) to Pantufas.
Janet - I'm glad to see that you set a quit date! I hope to do that one day. Just setting the date is such an important step!! Thanks for keeping us posted on Pantufas....I'm so worried about her.
<HUGS>
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Hi All!
43 days and counting since my last cig! Doing pretty good with only occasional urges. I am still a full fledged Doublement Gum addict - totally freaked out yesterday when I couldn't find my gum
I smoked for 20+ years and I think that it helps that I was already mentally preparing to quit LONG before I was dx'd - so when I found the lump and started going through all the dx tests it was the final push needed (seeing this tread helped too - no way I am going through chemo and not have it be as effective as possible), also going to a weekly support group and most important - I promised my kids I would would quit...I am a little stressed that I cannot chew my gum before surgery - June 23rd - I check in at 6:30AM for pre-op stuff and go under at 11:30AM for Bilat MX with TE.
Counting down...6 days...
BIG Hugs to everyone trying to quit, who have quit and who have fallen off the wagon a time or two but keep on getting back on
Janet - I have a binder full of helpful information on becoming a non-smoker I can make copies and mail it to you if you want - just PM me your address info - I was going to type it up and send to you via email but keep getting side tracked...
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I have decided to set July 5th for my quit date..gotta have my drinks and smokes on the 4th. So I figure that would be better than the 1st. Gonna get me the smoke away. Like I posted before..my mom finally quit on that and didn't even need step 2 bottle. I was amazed by her quitting. Must work well. Now to get rid of the nausea (due to tamox)..got my zofran in me...come on and work!!!
I may need to switch to jack and coke after all this and quitting too...bye bye wine..lol...jules
btw..anytime you see a letter missing in a word "just add in an M" my M key is sick....
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Jules - my op is 24th June, so good luck sweety for yours on the 23rd.
Janet- you do make me giggle! You express yourself beautifully and I have to say, I am greatly hummbled at the exquisite posts on all thethreads. There is something very wonderful about the ability of humans from all over our globe, sharing and helping to take care of eachother. What more could one ask? What an awful shame we can't translate this skill to a wider context. I am not quite up to saving the world just now, but who knows, one day........
Has anyone tried accupuncture in the eralobe ? I know it does work for some people.
much love to pantufas.
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O2bHealthy, congrats on your 43 days!!!!! I know about the gum thing. I had a huge pile of wrappers in my lap after a 1 hour meeting, I looked pretty crazied. Thanks for your binder, it will come in use.
Jules, CRAP!!!!! I didn't even think about 4th of July. Having a party here at my apts and I don't think I will be strong enough to survive that. I am changing my quit day to yours, July 5th. I will probably be hung over which should make it easier as I don't smoke as much when I feel sick. Will be thinking of you Fifish when I am hanging on the toliet, but no one gets hang overs like I do!!
2NewBoobs, I go through the I don't care anymore too. Hang in there and wait for it to come back!!
Butterfly, Sue, Cleo, London, NobleAnna, MB, I hope you are doing well.
Best!!!!0 -
O2bHealthy, congrats on your 43 days!!!!! I know about the gum thing. I had a huge pile of wrappers in my lap after a 1 hour meeting, I looked pretty crazied. Thanks for your binder, it will come in use.
Jules, CRAP!!!!! I didn't even think about 4th of July. Having a party here at my apts and I don't think I will be strong enough to survive that. I am changing my quit day to yours, July 5th. I will probably be hung over which should make it easier as I don't smoke as much when I feel sick.
2NewBoobs, I go through the I don't care anymore too. Hang in there and wait for it to come back!!
Butterfly, Sue, Cleo, London, NobleAnna, MB, I hope you are doing well.
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Hello to everyone,
Janzin you write beautifully, I shared you menopause joke with everyone. I too am upset about Patnufas thanks for letting us know. I too have the don't care attitude and have been smoking more out of depression than anything else. I think it's because I have realized this cancer is really in control of my body and not me. Someone, just said how we have to change out mindset and they are right we really have to just tell ourselves memtally that the cigs are cleary our enemy.
A new friend from chemo was just hospitalized with a lung problem- turns out the herceptin and chemo put a strain on the heart and she developed blood clots in her lungs. She never even smoked and she is developing lung problems has a result of the chemo. That really has me scare. The other new friend I met at chemo was at my son award dinner and she couldn't get my ear quick enough when I walked in.
Since 2 weeks ago she developed a lump on her side and her doctors have told her they have no new treatment to help her. She was asking me for advice on how to tell her family this info, cause she knew I am Her2. I really hit me hard.......I have been thinking way too much lately....And now today my sister calls me to tell me her friend died suddenly of a heart problem, she had won her Breast cancer battle but her heart didn't make it.
I hav been so busy justifying that my cigs didn't cause my breast cancer. I so wanted to control the one thing in my world that I had a choice to control ....my smoking. What's the prize??? an early grave???Everywhere I look this week smoking just doesn't make sense. I am a smart person doing the most stupid things I have ever done.
Sorry for rambling on... only you ladies can understand my inner struggles with BC and Cigs. And I thank you all for being there. Please let our Friend Pantufas know we are praying for her.
Sorry for the long post. Hugs to all and let's kick BC and the Butts.
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I am saddened to read about Pantufas......please keep the site updated, thanks, Sue0
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wow, so much going on. My prayers on with Pantufus...so NOT fair.
Janzin, I like the idea of going more neutral for everyone. I still like the "lay down for cancer" thing.....or "lay down for boobies"...heehee...my sick humor maybe.
Well, my quit date is AFTER the 4th for sure. We have spent 3 weeks buidling a HUGE outdoor kitchen with grill, fireplace, dutch oven ect. We are hoping to be done for the 4th. Granite was delivered today, but so much more has to be done, and I can only do so much. Ugh, I am SO tired from "helping" every day when it is 95 and sunny all day.....I should be in the pool. Maybe the 5th will work.
Wishing you all well. Stay cool!
Ellie
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Did I mention that I love you all SO much???? If not, I love you all.
ellie
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Malleme:::
Join me, Fifish and Janzin....we nedd to hold on to each other with encouraging, positive, and rewarding words of hope!!! We will fight this Ugly disease!!! (NIC addiction)
Malleme:: it made me so sad to read your post...please feel better. I wish so badly I could hug you right now girl!!! You will make it....just too many disheartening things happening around you....but you are OK girl!!! We will be here for you and "WE" WILL GET EACH OTHER THROUGH THIS!!!!!!!! So....with all that said....can we count on each other for the 5th??!!
Party hard and smoke alot first..right?
Let me know..b/c I really need the support from the Ladies on here..We can do it together!!...jules
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Oh...Hugs to everyone. Wish I could respond individually to you each, but I am out of it.
It's been a hard day. I had my post surgery (excisional biopsy) appt with my BS today. We discussed the LCIS, and two treatment options: Tamoxifen or BPM. I so want to break down and sob in someone's arms tonight. Geez I have not been held forever. No one here, so I will let myself cry a bit while connecting with you all. I just want my Mom to come back from the grave and erase the 21 yrs she fought BC. Then I want to go shopping with her and do whatever the h*ll we want to do. Just want 2 weeks of mother daughter bliss without the words BC.
And I really hate being a smoker and hate cigarettes and hate the ones who invented the darn things!!!
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It's 4 am here and I am finally tired enough to go to sleep. I do feel better after the cry and posting. So glad you are here and I am not alone in this journey. I am PMS'ing and it has gotten a bit worse physically and emotional since in the last two years. I am in peri-menopause and my breasts are more swollen and lumpy now than ever.
I am going to have some cookies and milk and turn out the lights for the night. Oh I wish I had a switch in my head that automatically started me crying as needed. I need so to cry more to relieve built up stuff. The off button is still stronger than the on button.
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I smoked for years...started when I was 13, quit when i was 23-smoked 2 packs a day then. Weird to think about it, you could smoke at work then, and we sure did, lemme tell ya. I quit when employer offered free smoking cessation class. I quit for years then became a social smoker-out, have a cig, np. Last year I started smoking everyday, sometimes one or two, somethimes 10, sometimes none. Even continued and of course increased with dx & bmx. Finally quit June 14th, day before chemo started. Of course I wanted one yesterday, but I refuse. I was in line at the supermarket yesterday and a woman my age bought a pack...I said "you don;t know how tempting it is to bum one of those off you as I quit Sunday-she laughed and said well, she had made it 10 days...I then told her I was on chemo and she said sorry-no cigs for you, was very nice, wished me well with my treatment & my continued success and walked away-helping me stay smoke free-God Bless that stranger.My craving passed.
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cleo - I'm so sorry you had such a rough day. Sending you a (((((BIG HUG)))))). Hope you finally got some sleep last night.
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God Bless the kind strangers, I concur TCGGal.
Cleo, wow, rough night. I hope the day looks brighter. Sometimes a good cry really helps, we just have to learn not to hold back when we feel one coming on. Every time we hold back, I think it makes it harder to let it go, does that make sense?
Malleme--sorry to hear about your friends. Sometimes when it rains it pours. Vent hear whenever you need and I am sure someone here can put a smile on your face, if only for a little while.
Hugs to all!
Ellie
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janzin, jules & flfish: Yeah! On committing to a quit date, I am soooooo rooting for you all on July 5th
cleo: I wish I could be there to give you a Big Gentle Hug...I hope things are looking brighter this morning and if not, it's ok to be sad, to cry to scream and even throw a royal hissy fit. I think we are all mourning a loss of self - not only the part of our body that is/will be gone, but also who we used to be before BC started trying to take over our lives - the key is to not let BC have any more control...(WAY EASIER SAID then DONE)
TCGGAL: Welcome to our crazy club (I sorry you had to join) - CONGRAT'S on cold turkey. That ‘stranger' was probably an angel in disguise sent here to show you that you are strong and can succeed...one craving at a time.
Malleme: I am so sorry to hear about your friend from chemo and truly hope that she is on the road to recovery soon...my nephew (5yrs old) was just dx'd with NUT midline carcinoma, only 35 documented cases in the world and not one had a good outcome. I am totally numb - have no idea what to say to my step brother and his wife - am just so sad I can barely talk about it and then I feel callus or cold because when I do have to talk to people I am so calm and clinical...ugh don't want to talk about it anymore...
Sue and 2NewBoobs: it was nice to see your posts, I hope all is well with you both...
London-Virginia: I have an aunt who swears by acupuncture for a multitude of things...couldn't hurt to try. I was thinking of trying it for chemo SE's - depending on what I end up experiencing and what cocktail they put me on, won't know until after surgery...5 days and counting...
Butterfly137: I've been thinking of you a lot over the last two days and hope you are doing ok - please let us know when you get more information.
Pantufas: thinking of you and you are in my prayers
MB, REKoz, Nervousknitter, Nobleanna, , Candie, KarteriT, Aka, Webbie and Lursa: miss hearing from you - hope you are doing well and busy living life to its fullest
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Let me know if any of you wonderful ladies would like to meet on facebook or myspace...need all the positive support i can get for July 5th....love to all
....jules
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Jules4evr39--I would love to meet you on facebook. I have my own domain names, so you can find me at www.facebook.com/ellen.fischer1......although, I do not talk about smoking when I am on that page. The majority of my family does not know that I still smoke, I have always been sort of a closet smoker. But, I would love to chat up with ya online. I will be there to support you!
O2bhealthy--I love how you put that we mourn the loss of self after being diagnosed. Oh, to have my old life back, but we can't go back can we, only forward. I am so sorry to hear about your nephew. My dear friends son had liver cancer diagnosed at the age of 2, and it spread to his lung by the age of 3 and he is now 6 and cancer free! I wish the same for your nephew. Chemo stinks and it is hard to watch on such a young child, but he went through it twice and it worked! Try and keep a positive outlook. Much love to your family.
Ellie
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FYI--Pantufus is on facebook too, and when she gets out of the hospital...and she WILL, I will direct you to her page. That woman is a hoot!
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I think the accupuncture coudl work well during chemo etc. I know it is not the same thing, but it is great for inflammatory injuries, so who knows?
hugs to all
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Hang in there ladies!!!!! I say we hold our hands together at exactly 6pm tonight, and it will be like we are all holding each others hands. I'll be holding mine together, and saying a prayer for all of you!
Stay strong, let's keep our chins up, and hold on!
Much Love To All
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Hi Ladies!
Just checking in and wanted to say hello to each of you. I am so sad to hear that Pantafus is in the hospital. What did I miss? Sure hoping she is doing better and better each day. Janzin- have you spoken with her recently?
I have scanned several of the posts and it looks like a handful of you are smoke-free! That is awesome. I started chantix this past Monday. Wish I had the strength to cold turkey like many of you. You are my heros. I am trying the chantix route and hoping for the best. My cravings have not been as intense as normal, but are still hanging around in my behavior. The directions say to smoke the first week (and you know I follow directions- especially ones like that). My quit date is Monday June 22. I will let you know how it goes.
Again, I hope each of you are doing as well as you can and that you can each find some joy each day.
Much love,
Mary Beth
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Hello Ladies, good to see all the posts! I have so much to write so I will do it in clumps as I don't want to take the whole page. Just called Nancy and good news, she is doing better and is off the air machines. She sounded much much better and there is a chance she may not have to go through surgery on Monday. She wants to thank all of you for your prayers as it has been working! I will be printing out the posts and mailing it to her tomorrow so she can catch up and I know it will make her feel good. Love can be a great healer!!!!
Malleme, I am so sorry to hear about your friend. My heart breaks for you and I understand what you are going through. Wish I could be there and give you a big hug. It's good to post and not be alone in your pain. I hope the love in this post will help you through your hard times and maybe one day you will read something that will hit home for your quit smoking, hang in there. HUGS!!!
Sue, Pantufas will smile with your support!!! I hope her smile will aid in her recovery. Your awesome!
Fifish, all the work you are doing at your home calls for a BC Butt Fondler party there when you are finished. Sounds like it is going to be beautiful. PM me so we can talk about the BCBB project. Doesn't matter if you are chain smoking or lost the will, it will come back to you. Your story will inspire others who are walking the same walk. I think on our website that we should post our stories in our profile to help others who may be going through the same thing. I LOVE you toooooo!!!!!!
Jules, your are a jewel!! You had me laughing on the party hard and smoke a lot first, which I will be on the 4th. Yes we are going to do it!!! I will need your support too and we will give each strength to make it hour by hour or day by day. So glad you are here!
Cleo, I feel for you! Good to get the tears and post your feeling too. You can PM me anytime as I am alone too, and I know how that feels and it can feed your depression. Just want to let you know that you are not alone and I am crying with you. I am putting my arms around you and giving you a big hug and will hug you through your recovery! Much love to you. xoxox
o2bhealthy, so happy to see your support, you are awesome! You are a huge part of this group and bring so much. Thank you for being here!
TCGGal, welcome! Hang in there, each day will get better and your chemo will be more successful! Just the fact you got in some days helps to inspire us. We will be here for you to support all the way! Sending you positive thoughts and hugs!!!
2NewBoobs, Butterfly and London thanks for being here! So happy to see al the support as we need it. Sending you much love!!!
MB, missed you and happy to hear from you! You made me laugh on the follow the directions, I am with ya on that. I am on chantix too and I am sending your positive thoughts for June 22nd. It's great to see that some of us has made it and we will be part of that group soon. Keep us posted and when you have an urge, post instead of smoke!!! xoxox
Sorry, I did another long post. You all mean so much to me that I want to reach out to all of you. I hope that REKoz, Nervousknitter, Nobleanna, Candie, KarteriT, Aka, Webbie and Lursa is doing well. Drop in a line.
Let our love have the power to heal!!!
Janet0 -
Morning ladies! I was reading the menopause joke I put up and things start making sense. A month ago I lost my car in the parking lot. I never remember where I park but usually I narrow it down to 2 aisles. This time and with a full shopping cart, I walk all over the parking lot quite a few times and was about ready to call the cops to report my car stolen. I have been doing this every week and I started tripping out. And then it hit me, memory loss is part of menopause. Thinking about buying a flag pole for my car so I can find it easier.
Cleo, you will be okay. I try not to think about BC too much but it comes out through depressions. But I do have good days and so will you. Sometimes BC is not just a long process physically that we have to endure, but also emotionally. The mind will process as much as you are ready to process. Hang in there. Let us know how you are doing.
Malleme, glad you like the joke and writing, my menopause is hitting me pretty hard. I hate BC and what chemo does. Does your friend have to go to surgery? Cigs are scary as you never know what it may do to you. Our minds are a powerful thing and we can talk ourselves into just about anything. Listen to the healthy mind which wants good for you. It's there so keep posting or lurking because you have a full life a head of you. Love you!
Okay, had to share this with you as I don't know if anyone is going through the same thing. I have 750 cc in my cancer boob and 340 cc in my good boob. Because my skin is so thin and it is under the muscle, my cancer boob seems to have a mind of it's own. The other day I yawned really big and my right cancer boob started moving up and to the right a bit. That is so messed up!! I make jokes about it as that is all I can do, I have to find the humor in things. My boobs have different personalities now, each with a mind of their own.
Smile ladies, the sun will shine again!!
Janet0
