Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Jackie: I do the same thing on the getting up early issue. I set my alarm just in case, and always I wake up just a few minutes before it goes off, so I don't have to be jarred out of my sleep. It's better to set it and have peace of mind...you will sleep better. I always did this when I traveled for business...left a wake up call with the desk...I never wanted to be late for a meeting.
After digging in the yard for two days and bagging up all the trimmings, today I feel as if I've been run over by a mack truck! I want to plant flowers, but I have to pace myself, so instead we will drive into Asheville, have lunch, visit my BF's favorite sporting goods store so he can look at golf clubs (as if he doesn't have enough..like I don't have enough shoes;), then we will try to catch a movie...his choice this time since we saw Marigold Hotel last week. I'm sure he'll choose "Men In Black Three"....I love Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, so I should enjoy this one too. Last night we watched an old Netflix movie.."The Piano"...it was wonderful...I saw it years ago, but forgot how beautifully photographed it was, and the acting was awesome! I think the little girl won an academy award for best supporting actress for her role.
OK...now I will hobble up the stairs and make my green energy drink...I need it today...lol!
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Scottiee, I told everyone about my bc and I, like Jackie, am a private person. I've never found it easy to talk about myself, especially in a group. I'll sit back and listen. But I told total strangers I had bc. I find it very easy to tell people that I'm a survivor. Later this month it will be 3 years since my dx. Then in July, 3 yrs since surgery. Time passes, and the New Normal can be good. I think I enjoy the present much more than I ever did before bc. But part of it may be taking a small dosage of Effexor daily to help with the SEs of Arimidex, the hormone blocker I take.
I enjoyed the Exotic Marigold Hotel. I didn't think it was a "great" movie but fun to watch. The audience was mostly older people who could relate to the retirement situation. I can't imagine that I would ever feel comfortable walking the streets in an Indian city. The plot element about the retired judge was very sweet. I don't want to spoil the movie for those who haven't seen it. I really like the idea that "if things don't end well, it's not the end"!
Hugs to all.
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"To be grateful for all life's blessings. . . is the best condition for
a happy life. A joke, a good meal, a fine spring day, a work of art,
a human personality, a voice, a glance--but this is not all.
For there is another kind of gratitude. . .the feeling that makes us
thankful for suffering, for the hard and heavy things of life, for
the deepening of our natures which perhaps only suffering can bring."~~~~~ Thomas Mann0 -
Carole: Yes! That has become my new mantra....along with "when one door closes, another opens"..or..."It is what it is". I love movies that give good feelings or send good messages.
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Kaara: It is the pits isn't it???? We have a clock set, but I guess I'm so worried -- maybe I should say un-sure about getting up on time.......that I wake too often to MAKE darn sure I don't sleep through. Hope you enjoy taking it easy......I'm starting to accept some limitations about energy, but not so much yet that I wouldn't try my heart out to accomplish what I want too.
Put this quote in as it just about covers it all I think. Partly for what you said Carole....about that new 'normal'. No one is going to thank cancer, but it certainly has given a new dimension and perspective to me and to how I live life. I am not grateful that I had cancer, but I am for the lessons. I do know that i was in a mode of just plain existence at the time I got my diagnosis.....not ( at least in my memory ) good or bad --- more just indifferent to things. I think I was just tyring not to struggle with anything and guess I was achieving that but I have to say....if things had gone on that way.....there would have I think been a huge empty spot in me where something should have been.
I am deeper, and I think it is mainly in positive ways. If this diagnosis was what it took to get me there than so be it. I know I have learned ( deeply ) to like myself and to not accept un-called for behaviours from others. I used to in the name of peaceful relations take almost anything that came along and just ignore my own distress about it...........but I came to realize that we don't glorify anything about ourselves when we just accept. If you can't extend the love and care to me.............that I am more than willing to give then I am under no obligation to allow you to continue your bad actions and disdain. That doesn't mean that I don't forgive and try to understand.....I just want to protect the part of me that cares. So I guess this diagnosis gave me the proper sense of responsibility for and about myself............gave me back the real me.
Could anyone ask more than to be the real, genuine you. Of course.....this is just what happened for me and the above quote really says it best for me. It may not strike a cord in anyone else...............and the great thing about that is ..... it doesn't matter. We are not required to accept things that don't fit.
Anyway.....hope you all have a beautiful Sunday.
Hugs, Jackie
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I had a pleasant day with my mother. I took her to church. The sermon was interesting and inspiring. Afterwards we went out to lunch at her favorite restaurant and shared a seafood platter that was so ample we didn't eat it all. Had a small take-home container. Then we relaxed in her living room and watched the PGA golf on tv. I flipped over to the Nascar during commercials to keep track of that sports event. My mother seemed to enjoy the day, which means I accomplished my goal.
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Northstar,
We welcome you here to our 'exclusive' club!! Not that we earn any feathers in our caps for being here, but we all have something in common... the old beast aka Breast Cancer....
Many of us here are of the 'more mature' age group. I am 69. I believe there are a couple of gals here in their 70's.
Feel free to post any time. If you prefer, you can private message us too...
I wish you a great week..
Vickie
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Kaara: Thanks for the reminder about The Piano. It's time for me to watch it again.0
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I watched the Piano years ago but don't remember it.
My niece who was in the mental institution is home after 3 wks. She reports that it was an awful place that offered very little in mental health therapy. It previously was run by the state of LA and was well staffed, but a private company took it over and laid off most of the workers. The patients were awakened at 6 am and sat in one room all day with no tv and limited reading material. They weren't allowed to sleep until 10 pm. The food was provided by the cafeteria of a nearby school and was awful. One young man chose to return to jail rather than stay there. Rebecca was very happy to get out (before they released her). Here's hoping she can cope with her day to day challenges. I'm not too optimistic about the long run. But life has surprised me more than a few times.
Today I have a couple of outside jobs on my list of to-do chores. One is trimming the wisteria, which closely resembles the plant in Little Shop of Horrors.
Happy Monday!
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If you want to feel rich,
just count all of the things you have that money can't buy.
- Anonymous0 -
Carole...I too hope your niece does well. Sounds like she is WELL aware of what constitutes good and bad therapy, so at least there is a starting point on things. You are very right.....you don't know what may be a surprise and actually work out ok..............though like you, the fact that three weeks went by and not much was done doesn't seem much to hang your hat on.
I also watched "The Piano" a long time ago and all I recall is the album cover to it. I'm not too good at recollection on many things. I'm sure I enjoyed it......but I know which ones I like best as I usually secure a copy for myself. A couple of my all time favorites are "Postcards From The Edge", "Something To Talk About", " When A Stranger Calls" and " Fatal Attraction". Finally..... one I know I will always have a copy on hand of : "Trip To Bountiful".
It is a gorgeous morning outside my office window and I'm thinking it will be a wonderful day too. I hope all of you are going to have one as well.
Hugs, Jackie
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Good morning everyone!
Jackie: Great quote...it's a great exercise to do when you're feeling like you aren't getting enough out of life. It's not about all the material possessions that you have, but the way in which you live your life every day that counts. Money, if put in the right perspective, can buy peace of mind, but it can never buy happiness. My BF and I play the game of what would we do if we won the lottery, and most of the time our answers revolve around making other family members more comfortable because we have all that we really need. Fancy cars, big houses, dinners at expensive restaurants, while nice, are no longer a priority in our lives, and many times friendships suffer because we just don't care to indulge in those things. When I retired we knew our lifestyle would change dramatically and have never regreted that decision. I see my friends working so hard to maintain their fancy lifestyles and wonder why it's necessary, but who am I to judge. To each his own.
Carole: I pray that your niece is able to cope on her own now that she is out of the institution. I can only imagine the squalor of that place if one would prefer to be in jail:( Hopefully she is getting some outpatient counseling because it will be very difficult for her to maintain her stability without it. So sad that we don't have the tools at hand to deal with these problems in a country that is so wealthy.
Northstar: Welcome to the group..I'm one of the 70+ ladies, even though I don't feel like it! Visit often and we welcome your comments.
We have the plumber here working on our plugged toilet in the lower level. Apparently it isn't going to be a simple fix as he's been here for quite a while now. Fortunately we have two other bathrooms that are working. Not looking forward to seeing the bill when he is done. We've also had to replace a hot water heater, and a broken window, so having a vacation home does not come without "issues". Probably time to think about selling and just renting a place for the summer, but will have to wait a few years for the market to catch up from the economic downturn.
It's cloudy today, so a good time to think about setting up my herb garden. I have to put in some good soil around the tree before I can expect anything to grow and flourish. It will be an interesting experiment....hoping the critters don't have fun eating them as fast as I plant!
OK...time to get to work! Happy Monday!
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Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.Denis Waitley
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Jackie: Love Denis Waitley! I used his messages quite a lot when I was working with people in my past career. Somewhere I have his books stored away. Thanks for sharing this...if you don't mind, I am going to post it on my facebook page for all my friends.
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Karra: By all means, please feel free. I have always felt the **for me anyway** power of quotes. Often, they say something better, and much more directly than I can. Also.......they have pretty much always kept me a little centered and reaching much more toward my spiritual side.
As far as spiritual issues.....people believe what they believe, and live with and surround themselves with oft-times whatever religion seems to best suit. I certainly find no quarrel with that. Be it Baptist, Lutheran, Catholic, Methodist....if it brings you comfort and hopefully assists you greatly to be a better human being -- then, I see it as fine. I am not here to judge anyone, other than myself and MY behavior --- We all have the power of choice and it is not my place to sit and condemn............all meaning that a long time ago, when I saw how much disruption and upset often came of someone's religion or politics --- I chose to put some distance to it and is when I chose to not too closely align myself with "a" religion or in fact politics either. To this day I have found following my heart and choosing to study spirituality has kept me in a far better position to learn what I need to know and to in fact feel close to the loving spirit of our Creator.
That's a long round about way of saving - please feel free to take anything I leave here. I mean to share it when it gets here anyway.
I hope you all have a delightful day.
Hugs, Jackie
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Hi Gals! I'm with Jackie..... If something, or "someone" helps you find peace, even if it is a beautiful meadow, or a lake, or a peaceful time alone, if it helps your soul, that's all you need. An Atheist believes in what THEY want to believe, and we don't have to agree with any religion nor politics.....
It's just that sometimes, whether it IS a religion or politics, someone, usually a friend or relative will try and knock some sense into us, and make us believe what THEY want us to believe. Sometimes it's even our Parents, or siblings. We all have our reasons for following the path we choose.... and there's nothing wrong with that, as long as we don't step on someone else's toes.
I remember my Mom was raised a Nazarene.... and from what I remember when I was little, it was "do it this way, or don't do it at all!" She later changed to Episcopalian, and went absolutely ballistic when my Brother, after a motorcycle accident, decided he would now be Catholic! Parents can make their children be whatever religion they choose, but as we grow into adults, we choose what we want to be.
So now my Brother is just "Christian".... and I guess that covers almost everything, right?
Speaking of my Brother, remember when he was just off the wall, trying to help his Grandson? Well, now the boy is living with DB, and they are becoming the best of buddies! He is now working, and being a responsible 16 year old... (I mean as responsible as a 16 year old can be.)
He was telling me that the boy had the HARDEST time waking up.... always has. Well, DB got a huge clanging alarm clock.... When it goes off, if after a few minutes boy does not get up, they had this agreement where DB would drop ice cold water on his eye lids, and he had better get up! It works.... Both of them laughing!
My DAD used to get US up on week-end mornings for breakfast, by pouring 1/2 a glass of water on both of us! Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, right?
But I'm so happy, that at last word, they were getting along great, and the kid is actually losing all his anger, hostility, and listening to his Grandpa! Most of his problems were him losing his Mom.... But that Mom was also my Brothers Daughter, so they have a lot to work through, and I think this "friend-ship" will help them both.
Okay....waiting for Plumber to call.... Will this EVER get resolved? Nope! Not unless I just take matters into my own hands, and start calling for estimates....
Have a nice day all.....
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Chevy: So happy to hear that your nephew is doing better....maybe he just had to get past his grieving for his DM...and just maybe he got some good counseling when he was institutionalized for that short time.
I know what you mean about the plumbing...we got to NC, and in addition to a broken window, had a leaking hot water heater and a plugged toilet, so about $1,000 later, everything has been repaired and we're back in business. Remind me again why I wanted to "own" a vacation home as opposed to renting??
The weather has been beautiful...in the70's, so this afternoon we went out and played 9 holes and then went to our favorite Thai restaurant for dinner. My herb garden is coming along...I still can't find rosemary...will look again tomorrow. I've planted about half the flowers I purchased...the other half I will do tomorrow if weather permits.
Have a great evening everyone!
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Kaara, I have a rosemary "shrub" that survives the summers when we're gone and nobody but Nature waters the poor thing. It has a will to live.
I had a very nice day. Up at 6 am this morning for a 7:50 am tee time. Played with two very nice women and enjoyed the round even though I was pretty much wet with perspiration by the time we finished. Then later in the afternoon drove to my dental apptment and had the stitches out. My jaw has healed very well. On the way home stopped at Walmart's for some grocery shopping and also found some "every day" shorts for a ridiculously cheap price.
Tomorrow I have an apptment for a Dexa scan and then later an apptment with my bc dr.'s NP for an annual checkup. She will ultrasound my armpits and chest and write me another prescription for the little white pill from Hell, Arimidex.
DH's birthday is June 8 and I'm planning to bake him a carrot cake, his favorite. On Sat. night we'll go out to dinner with neighbors. The husband's birthday is also June 8.
Hugs to all.
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Hello Northstar, I am 63 and about to start treatment for BC recurrence, with chemo this time (and a bit nervous about that) Like you, I have noticed most posts seem to come from the younger set. Thus, I applaud you for bringing in this thread. I am concerned about weight gain (or even too much weight loss) with TC chemo drugs.
Thoughts anyone?0 -
Hi Gemmie,
Sorry you have to be here, but it is a great group. I went through treatment last year. Started Chemo on June 24th and finished up on Dec. 1. I did very well considering. We are all different and our bodies react differently. It is doable.
Ask any questions you want and someone or everyone will respond.
Take care
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Gemmie: So very sorry about your recurrence...I can't offer any help on the chemo because I didn't do it as I had a low oncotype score. I didn't do rads either, so I am just hopeful that I made the right decision. I am following an anti cancer diet, supplementation, and exercise program designed to prevent recurrence, but we all know that bc isn't selective about those things when it chooses it's victims. There are many other women on here who will be able to give good advice and counsel about these matters.
Sending you positive energy!
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Our opportunity is always to make the choice for Joy.
To see the world with new eyes - open eyes - loving eyes.
To choose compassion and understanding -
for ourselves, our family, our friends,
our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie0 -
Good morning friends,
Gemmie.....I'm so sorry to hear your news, but hopefully the chemo will knock out all of the cancer cells seen/found and you will be ok. As far as chemo, as mommarch said.....everyone has a different reaction for the most part. It seems to me that most people fear chemo more than anything. I lost wt. while doing my chemo now a few yrs. back......very late 2007 and into mid 2008, but then I had it ( and more ) to lose and I did find that it did not seem to cause any other upset --- my immune system held up and I never had to postpone any of my 8 sessions. One of the BIGGEST keys to any chemo is staying in good communication with your oncologist/oncology team. There are so many drugs that can deal with the se's ( side effects ) that can arise during use of the chemo drugs.
Many people visualize ( while getting their chemo infusions ) scores of cancer cells dying and be rendered totally worthless. Also, lots of people buy a certain number ( in my case it would have been 8 ) lottery scratch-off tickets to MARK OFF each completed chemo session. Some people use yoga and meditation to smooth things our for themselves.
Ask plenty of questions...make up a list. Learn what the se's of each chemo are. Nausea would I think go along with cytoxin while taxotere would be no nausea but bone pain and have things ready to handle those. Also check into how your team/oncologist will be keeping your cells ( white and red ) but mainly white, at a good level. I had Neupogin shots and I gave them to myself......but again, all of this should be detailed out for you. It is a lot of information.........but I looked on this as something that I HAD to do to assist my medical team in saving my life. Some times you just have to examine these things in several different lights - whatever it takes to help you be able to work with it and your oncology team.
All of us here will be wishing you well and more than willing to help you through.
Chevy.....what good news to hear about the grandson. I'm sure it was a big shock to the system when the he lost his mother --- and then so much else too. Maybe he just had to see enough of life in pieces to GET the picture that it would not be better unless HE took some responsibility for getting it better. Sure hope and pray it keeps going well.
I'll be checking in again after work......see ya'll then.
Hugs, Jackie
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Something that looks good to me.....specially' this time of yr.:
Carrot, Raisin and Pineapple Salad
1 3/4 cup shredded carrots
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup marshmallows
1/2 can diced pineapple (drained)
1/2 cup shredded coconut
1/2 cup salad dressing (Miracle Whip works well)
1/2 tub of cool whipMix all the ingredients together and place in refrigerator for at least 2 hrs. The longer it chills, the better it will taste. When I make this for company I make it a day or so ahead. Make sure you keep it in the fridge until you are ready to serve it.
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Hi, Gemmie. i'm sorry to hear about the recurrence. Like Kaara, I managed to avoid chemo and rads, for which I'm very grateful. But many women manage the chemo treatments well. There are so many different kinds of chemo now. I wish you the best. Jackie's advice is good. Try to be as well-informed as possible.
I had good feedback today from my medical apptments. The tech who did my dexa scan told me I have great bones. despite 2 plus years on Arimidex, my bone density is very good. I can probably credit that to all the walking I've been doing for years. Or maybe some good genes from my father. My mother has osteoporosis and one sister has osteopenia.
My 2nd apptment was my annual bc checkup. My bc dr.'s NP did an ultrasound on my armpits and chest wall and was very pleased with what she saw. She gave me a prescription for bloodwork for tumor markers. I went immediately and took care of that.
This afternoon I took my niece and her two daughters (2 1/2 and 7) out to lunch at Buffalo Wings. Eating out with children has its challenges.
It is overcast and there were rumbles of thunder this afternoon but so far no rain. We could really use a long steady shower.
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Carole, that's funny! I remember one time I had lunch with my gal-friend, and her little girl was climbing OVER the back of the booth, into another couples laps! I was somewhat mortified...but my gal-friend didn't think too much of it. Man, talk about easy-going! The other booth just tried to laugh it off, but I think I WOULD HAVE ASKED TO BE MOVED...Ha!
Congratulations on your appts! Sounds great!
Jackie, I printed off your recipe! That's just the kind of stuff I like.
And you guys, Northstar has not posted since 2009! I know she started this thread, and I would love to hear how she is doing! We now have 440 pages of the thread she started! Some of us have been here awhile.... Where is Jo-5, Isabella, Spar, and so many others? Oh yeah, Marybe, and of course Carole, Jackie and me.....
Man, I was so afraid when I first posted.... This thread has helped me through so many rough times....
Gemmie! Nice to hear from you! And Kaara! I'm always fooling around in my gardens! I plant Juniper every year, but I don't know what to use it in, Ha! I use the Basil and Italian Parsley a lot.... And I pick the mint to flavor my hot tea!
Okay kids.... stay out of trouble! xoxoxo
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I finally found my rosemary today to plant in my herb garden. It was scarce up here this year! I also bought some peppers and cucumbers to plant in another location...my first attempt at doing veggies. We'll see.
The high here today was 68. Brrr...it was cold out with the damp wind blowing. I didn't linger in the garden shop.
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Kaara! You little panty-waist, Ha! It was 68 and you were cold? Ha, ha! I just LOVE when it is about 55 to 70! Glad you found the Rosemary!
We got a little rain last night at our house, but really severe storms South from here...! Rain, hail, wind, tornado's, but just lightening & "some" rain here. We don't need ANY hail, especially with all my new plants!
I'm also growing a few "sweet banana peppers" that DH likes!
Happy Birthday to your Husband Carole!
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Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.
Mahatma Gandhi
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Chevy: LOL...68 was the high...it was about 50 when I was out and remember this is damp cold, not dry like in Denver. I ski in 20 degree weather and it feels warmer than this felt yesterday! All that said, it's still better than 97 with 90% humidity which is what is in Florida right now! My blood must be thinned out from all that hot weather!
The plumber is back today installing a cut off valve for the water in the garage. It seems that the genius who built the house allowed the bay window in the dining room to butt out over the water valve cutoff so we can't get to it, so another must be installed unless we want to cut the water off at the main valve. The city doesn't like that and would fine us if we did it, so we have no other choice. We did know this until we went to install the hot water heater and the water had to be shut off. This will cost some $$ but in an emergency it will pay for itself.
We're going to see a play tonight "Nunsence" at the local little theater. It is supposed to be really good. Dinner out before I hope.
Time to go out and finish planting...yard is looking good. I'm going to take photos and try to post them later.
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