Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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! I do not remember the oleo packaged like that...but my mom went for all the latest food fads including margarine. We'd have real butter only at my grandmother's (always roast lamb with mint jelly, mashed potatoes, string beans, gravy)
Bonnets, I am so sorry to hear about your worries about your kitty. I am a cat person and we had our last feral cat for 16 years - she did great even after poisoning and seizures that paralyzed her hind quarter for a time. We counted every day a bonus with her! I hope your little one recovers completely.0 -
Afternoon everyone --- count me in on the feline prayer chain. I am there. I'm sure it goes w/o saying if you have been a cat parent or grandparent for very long than you will know one of the first signs that things just aren't right is our little fur people finding some place outside the box to go. I do hope things go well for all.
About that milk....we had ours delivered for many years from a local farmer. In fact, often the bottles of milk would still be warm from the cows. My folks always poured the cream from the top to use for cream for their coffee. The only thing I hated was in Spring....when the grass turned green again in the fields, wild onions would come up......and the cows ate them too.....hmmm, for two or three weeks the milk would taste of green onions. I remember Mom with a straight face, when I complained of the cereal ( no matter what kind ) tasting awful would say no.....it tastes just fine to me. I just hated it something awful.
We were the first to have a t.v. in our little town of 200 people. Only the taverns had them at first. So, my dad went to work for the one tavern for a long time -- working every Sunday, and the tavern owner ( before Dad ever started ) bought the t.v. and had it delivered to our house. That is how things were done in those days.....an oral agreement ( no papers signed and witnessed ) made, and carried out to the letter. Anyway, those first t.v's. desk type, had a large cabinet and we found that if we took the screen out of our front room window --- the t.v. would fit perfectly. We and half the neighborhood sat out in our front yard enjoying t.v. Heck, we could have been paid back for its price had we charged a little admission......or offered popcorn and soft drinks. We weren't too enterprising -- more fun to just enjoy that fantastic box with everyone else.
I do recall mom having to stir the ???whatever it was with a packet to turn it yellow. Our first cook stove was powered by kerosene.
We had no indoor plumbing but who cared. It was a long time before we realized that you could have one in the house.
There were so few problems then, and things were rather un-complicated. As I sit here on my computer with almost every convenience known to man. Ah.....even at that, I often miss the good ole' days.
Hope your afternoon is great.
Peace & love,
Jackie
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Jackie, that little orange thing, was the coloring "egg" in the white margarine. We got to squeeze it over and over, to make the whole pack yellow, Ha!
Yes, those old console TV's...
And then they could make little "houses" out of them....
This dog is living in "luxury".....
Okay.... Enough of my memories.... Oh wait.... Ice Boxes! Do you remember them? Ha, ha! I think we talked about this before...
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Ok, does anyone remember the "rag man". Have no idea what he was about, but remember whenever my cousin and I would act up my mother would yell...."that's it....this week I'm giving you 2 to the " rag man",.......and then there was the guy my mother called "the javelawater man".........I know today it was "bleach" for the laundry......sure as hell smelled like Clorox....and what bout the wringer washer.........imagine the "Princesses" today using them. friggin doing the wash took a whole day.....how about the "car seat ". Was that a joke...it hung over the front seat of the car, and in the center was a steering wheel, made out of plastic, with a huge screw in the middle........real safe, and the kid would jump in and out of it while you we're driving.....Jesus, and they are all still alive......how bout keeping you baby in a playpen........how many of those do you see . My daughters used them for their kids, but not the dil's. they called it "jail". We had the good old days......they will never come back........God help them
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No ice boxes here but we had a bread man, a milk man, an egg man, a brush man, knife sharpening man, vacuum man, and dry cleaning man...lots of men visiting those housewives during the day! and getting them to spend $$ when the DH's weren't looking.
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How about house calls from our Dr.......and it only cost $4.00, and sometimes included medicine. Everyone got a shot of penicillin back then....it cured everything....lol
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Good Evening girls,
I loved your posts the last couple of days. My husband who is 11 years older than me talks about these things also. I am 63 he is 74. I lived on a farm so we had fresh milk, which I hated, I would go to my Grandparents in town and drink the pasturized milk. To this day I can not get a glass of milk down. In spring when the grass was new the milk would take on an awful taste. I think there was probably a couple of weeks that they could not even sell it to the creamery. I remember the wringer washer. My mom would not let us use it.
Dr. house calls, every Christmas my sister would come down with pnemoia and our Dr. would be out at the house late at night.
My husband remembers hearing the news on the radio. Oh that TV, they would come and get it for repair and we have the greatest time geting into the box and showing off.
Termite thanks. I am still not sure what I am going to do. The only thing I know is if she climbs all over me again I am going to walk out. I will not be 65 untill May 2014, if I have to take a chance without insurance for a year, it will probably be better than the stress with this darn chemo brain.
It was 18 here this morning. Suppose to start warming up and then get back down to 59 for a high on Thursday.
Everyone take care
Hugs
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I agree I am 63 Had surgery Feb 4th. now I guess it all begins I am scared cry way too much I feel bad for the young ones and tell my self how awful I am my babies are grown and so are most of grand kids but it is still so hard. Every one knows more about their cancer than I do . My surgeon has not even told me how many lymph nodes she took and she said 2 on left cancer free left side she said she took lots like 3 rows how many is that I just don't know very confused
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Hi fox,
Don't feel bad about not being a cancer expert...some of us like to read up and learn everything there is to know, and others focus on just what they need for their own recovery. There is usually no way to know how many nodes were checked until the post surgery pathology report is complete. You can ask your doctor for a copy of the surgery report and have her explain the report to you. There are many good articles on this web site to help understand what we hear from our doctors or from others.
Emotions are very strong right after diagnosis and surgery. We tend to re-visit the highs and lows in our lives. It's normal...and it is the reason we need to connect here with others who have been through. I hope you have an uneventful and complete recovery.
Hugs,Joan
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Foxey First.....welcome, welcome to you. You have come to a great place. We are good at hand holding and helping you with your information. Of course, you don't remember all your Dr. told you........no one really does. In short order you should be getting a copy of your pathology report. You will need help understanding what it says......but either your Dr's nurse, or whomever referred you to the surgeon can help you go through that report. It will more than likely answer the biggest part of your questions.....maybe even give you a few more.
If you look up above of where you posted......there is a blue box. You can work through there and you will find an area that gives you lots of definitions....such as tx for treatment or dx for diagnosis.......
In no time at all you will know more than you ever thought you could about this subject that not a one of us ever wanted to know a thing about, ever.
At one time we were just like you ( and age does not matter ) scared to death with more why me's than one could think possible. This is not how any of us thought we would be when we were nearing retirement age, already retired or at least had our kids raised and on their own.
We all started out the same and now we keep each other company and wait for someone to come who needs a little helping hand to travel the road called cancer. It is a scary word, diagnosis and disease, but believe it or not.....an incredible amount of ladies ( not always easily ) get through all this and go on to live life almost as good as we were before we got this awful stuff we don't know anything about.
The road can be long, but you will be surrounded with many other ladies wanting nothing more than to hold your hand and help you through it all. There is hope and life and good times.......we just have to work for awhile to get al those black clouds out of the way. We are here for you and so grab a Kleen-X, pull up a chair, put your feet up and sip the warm glass of tea next to you. We are going to hold you up til' you feel lots stronger about where you are at right now. We all care very much.
Peace & love,
Jackie
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Okay Foxey, that's it! I'm going to come out there, and grab your surgeon by her neck, and shake her till she gets some compassion! She has the bed-side manner of a slug. You ask her for a copy of her report.... But first ask her to explain what it means. Take a note-pad, with questions for her, and when she answers, write that down too.... under the question. It's no wonder you are scared! Tell her that also! That brat!
What Joan says is so true... some of us want to know EVERYthing, but others, not so much. But with me, it kind of made me relax when I felt I KNEW what was going on. Sometimes these Docs think that since we are older we are clueless. That we don't need to know what we won't understand. But it's up to us to shake it out of them! You must ask her for the final pathology report. Not that you will understand it, but you can figure out a lot on your own. Then ask what does THIS mean, and so-on.
But wanting to know what they did is important! And how many nodes, and etc. It is your right.... Just tell her your friends need to know. THAT will scare her.
Or not. Your nodes are not a string of pearls in there... They are there for a reason, and you want to know what she did, and how many, and what they showed!And yes, what Jackie says! Sometimes we know more than the Docs do! And we CARE about you. But you have to ask questions, and write down the answers. Sometimes those answers will confuse you even more, but just keep asking until you understand.
One of these days they might mention chemo.... tell them you want an oncotype test. They do that with some of your tissue... See if you even need it! Our age, etc. also comes into play. Plus your oncotype score. And don't worry about any of that, until that bridge is in front of you.
One of these days, you will be just like us.... most of it is over, and that's why we talk about everything under the sun.... Ha!
Mommarch.... Oh yes, the tubes in the back of the TV! I remember my Dad trying to figure out "what the hell happened." And we would go buy another tube.
We used to listen to the radio when we were eating "supper." Remember Inersanctum? And The Shadow? I remember Milton Berle and Martha Ray when we got a TV.... And Red Skelton.
I don't remember that bottled milk tasting funny, but we got it from the Milk-man. We mostly drank canned milk, diluted with water. And that's how I like to make gravy.... ha!
That penicillin! Yes, it was used for everything from hang-hails to hemmorhoids.
Yes Ducky.... Old Dr. Brown (who delivered me and my brother) would also come out for us when I would call, like when DH passed out when he got up, from a leg cramp! Laid there flat on the floor! Man I was scared! I COULDN'T throw cold water on him! I ran across the street, to use the phone! Mr. & Mr. Brown came out, bag in hand, and turned him over... He came to! God I was scared! He didn't have to go pee after THAT! That leg cramp left a bruise and lump the size of an egg... but he passed out from flying off the bed like a shot! He probably got a shot of pennicillin, Ha!
Okay....better get busy........ xoxoxoxox
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Foxey: Welcome and all the best to you...sending positive energy. We all have the right to know what is happening to our bodies and the best alternatives for treatment! Push until you get that information.
It's cold here in S. Florida...40's! The sky, however, is bright blue and beautiful! It's a sweater day to be sure!
I remember ice boxes...also wringer washers and blueing! We had a wash house out behind our house where we took the laundry. I used to love to feed the clothes through the wringer...my grandma let me do that until once my cousin got his finger stuck in the wringer and it took his arm in up to almost the elbow...that was bad! We weren't allowed near it after that!
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Kaara the weather won't bother u, u'r having so much fun. YYYAAAYYY
Hi Foxy I don't think we met--but the girls re absolutely right whatever u wnt to know and all the questions u want answered so don't feel intimidated by anyone. U are the woner of u'r body--if u brought u'r car in to fix they tell u what they had to do--so u'r body is u'r presious commodity and u go ahead and ask away.
Oh Kaara I remember the wringer waser that we were not alowed to go near and as my Grandma would say the iceaboxa and the iceman cometh with the bloc of ice and empying the big pan underneath and all the peddlers and I loved how they yelled all the time what was on their carts--ood loud voices It was fun acrually.
Talk about chilly--it's 10 here but sun is out so I guess it's all right. NO SNOW
OK I'll check back later.
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Foxy.....my BS not only spoke with me, but insisted my grown children, then 54 to 43, be there....not 1 time, but every time, he had something to say...then said,go home discuss, and we will meet again in a couple days......we did, and when we went back he talked for 2 hours, and even had drawings, and small models of the breast that came apart like a puzzle. He answered each and every question my "6 " kids asked , and there were many.....The MO, and the RO did the same.
At that time your head is as I say "up your ass", and you remember bits and pieces of the conversation.
When I first heard "cancer" I said......."take them both".......certain that was my decision.....after much discussion, and clear headed thinking, I changed to a lumpectomy, and my BS said....."glad you changed your mind".....In my case that was the best choice....in others, maybe not.
I absolutely loved my BS. I'm not saying they need bedside manner, but how about " compassion".........also, that is your body.....your health......your records......demand what you want....don't be bullied by someone no better then you.....remember they still put their underwear on the same way we do......one leg at a time......that diploma on the wall does not give them the the right to "lord" over you.......DEMND WHAT YOU WANT.......DON'T LEAVE TILL YOUR SATISFIED.........hugs0 -
When we expand our awareness, strengthen our center, clarify our purpose, transform our inner demons, develop our will and make conscious choices, we are moving toward deeper connection with our spiritual self.
Molly Young Brown
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Foxey, here's a philosophy I use about doctors. Between my insurance company and my out-of-pocket expense, I pay their salary. Once you take that philosophy, you look at them in a whole different light. I had a very arrogant pediatrician question my knowledge of one of my children's health only for him to go back through her chart and tell me I was right. From that point on, I took that philosophy and have never hesitated questioning a doctor or changing doctors with an attitude. Ask questions and demand answers that you understand. Don't let her brush you off. It is your health, your body. If you have to, contact the medical records department of the hospital you had your surgery at and ask for your surgical report and pathology report. There is a charge for them but well worth it.
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Foxey.....stand your ground......you need complete confidence in your Drs. Speak up, tell her how you feel she is treating you.....maybe no one had ever challenged her, and she thinks " what the hell, I'm the Dr"........no way........I tell you, approach her, nicely, but make your point......if she rebels......move on from her........there are too many great BS's out there to settle for one with an attitude.......did you not see this when you first met her?.......just asking......with me it was love at first meeting......my kids said..."mom what about a 2nd opinion"........I said..."nope".......love this man.......he was kind, compassionate, and above all.....Head of the Breast cancer Center.........all the more reason to feel superior.....not him, and till today feel the same way.......it means everything..........2days after surgery he had me on the phone telling me. "Great news, the tumor was much smaller then thought".....within 5 days he had the Path results, and called me again. Said...." If there is anything you don't understand, and want me to call the kids I will"........it wasn't necessary, he explained things perfectly......then said....."know what, I have all their names and addresses, I'll have (Chris his secretary) send them and you a letter"........speak up girlfriend.....remember.....THE SQUEAKY WHEEL GETS THE OIL.....even though I never had to.....if I did, I would have.....
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who gives the pathology report and when? Will I have to make a decision at the oncologist office my appointment is tomorrow ?
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Joan, I last saw my MSK onco in Sept. That was the final visit, hopefully. she said it would be silly to commute from chicago just to be prescribed pills. Makes sense but I'll miss the trips to ny!
I'm seeing an onco here for follow up.
I did try going to a local onco once for an infusion and he made me so sick my husband insisted we go back to MSK.
They gave me intravenous steroids, even though I told them not to. They said they would follow the MSK protocol but didn't. I felt as though I was having a heart attack. My bp went out of countrol. MSK gave steroids in pill form. Much easier on my system. But it drove home the point that it's worth going to the best.
unbelievably, i have a lump on my chest and went to 4 different drs and got 4 different diagnoses. It takes a lot energy to be sick! lol
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My Braest surgeon has been great I love her I don't ask questions so that is my fault and The radiologist was wonderful I did not know so much got on here and I am so glad I will ask questions tomorrow . and maybe I will be better did not no there was this many things involved I thought they took it out did radiology and wait to see if they got it all I was floored when I saw all this and thak god I did because she mentioned cemo and I just thought i say yes or no tomorrow I can't thank you all enough I feel like you opened up my eyes. prayers and hugs for all I need a little nape will be back later thank you all
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Ok foxey,you made it back here......good for you. I have never been on a blob before ( and didn't start on the computer until we moved back home here although that has been 15 yrs. now. Still, until I got my diagnosis....that is dx.....I had only taught myself some of the easy things on computer.....email, playing some games surfing the Internet. Really not a whole lot, but when I got my diagnosis.....I got on this blog and just kept plugging away.
I only learned enough about cancer in general and my case in particular to get by. Felt like I did not have to be an expert, but just know enough to hopefully ask the right questions and be able to understand enough about what my care team was talking over with me so that I could make a good decision.
You don't have to make any decisions tomorrow. I really hope that TOMORROW your Oncologist will have your pathology report and go over it with you in detail. You can take a small notebook and make notations about the information that you will see on that report. I have a copy of mine.....though have no idea where it is right now.
Like everything you have gone through, the copd etc......this too has its own language and the more you hear, the more you will start to recognize. Just don't feel you have to know everything at once. At the moment........it does not sound like there is a plan to have you do chemo........this may be due to your other conditions. It may be too stressful for your system.............but your Dr. can share with you all of the ins and outs, if that is truly the case. Some people need it and some don't. We are given time to think about our options and the Oncologists recommendations after we go over the pathology report. I got my report from the Avon patient representative that worked in my surgeon's office. I think other people get theirs directly from their Oncologist. Whomever presents it to you should be able to go over it with you and answer all your questions....about stage and grade. Lymph nodes and normally with those they will start taking them out and continue on until they get to one that is 'clean'. Some people show no lymph node involvement....some do, but if the lymph nodes show anything then they were operating as they should.....to stop something from going where it should not be.
We are hanging in her with you. Keep coming back. We really do care.
Peace & love,
Jackie
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Foxy someon will com on and tell u exactly what to do--I really don't know otherwise I would help. I loved my team from day 1. But as I'm thinking now when u go tomorrow even if u haven't decided tell the Dr. so and why, this is one time u can be decisive in u'r thinking of exactly what u want and will be doing. Don't worry, just tell what's in u'r heart and head.
Timbuktu what hospital where u in around u'r home.?
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Yes, Jackie is right.... You don't have to make any decisions, until you know what they are talking about.... Always ask questions, and write the answers down. Your Oncologist should have your "final pathology report".... ask for a copy AFTER she explains what it means. Remember they need to send tissue away, for that Onco test.
Lymph nodes tell them if there is any cancer cells in them.... But the blood stream also carries them. If your nodes were clear, great! If some weren't, that's what radiation and chemo are for! There is always something to fight any cancer cells, AND the ALS.... like Tamoxifen, Arimidex, or Femara..... Yes, ask about "stage" and "grade" I printed off a copy of what BC.ORG has, for us to fill out..... That is below our names under DX...
So don't worry! We are all here for you..... but make sure you ask any questions you have...... and write the answers down, because if you are like me, you won't remember everything!
Let us know..... xoxoxoxo
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Foxy, So many have said what I was thinking, not much left to say, but...... When you think of questions, write them down and take them with you to your appt. No question is stupid! Also if possible take someone with you to your appt, two heads are better than one to help remember what was said!
I have a BS who is a great surgeon, but rather arrogant. I'm not intimidated and he once asked me if I were a Dr. and cud diagnose. Well I told him I WAS a pretty good diagnostician, several times with my DH! Kinda quieted him down:) BS says I read too much, but that's my MO, learn all I can about the problem, plus being a former RN. That's how I deal with things.
As to kitty, seems a little better today, gave her some potassium I had from when she had a tooth infection', it seems to have helped. I know the vet says she has 2 bad teeth, that may be the whole problem. My last kitty was 21 when she passed. This one is the smartest I've ever had, love her to death , don't want to loose her!
Time for supper, VERY cold and windy today, brrr.
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Hi, Foxy. Best of luck to you in dealing with your health situation. You've gotten some great advice from some of our compassionate and knowledgeable "older bc-ers." It always makes things easier when we have drs. who are caring as well as skilled.
Bonnets, glad your kitty is better.
Kaara, keep enjoying life. I'm happy for you.
Chevy, I'll bet I don't have to tell you NASCAR is back! How about Danica racing for Tony?
Warm greetings to all. Spring will be here before we know it.
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Foxey....get a copy of your Path report. My BS told me the preliminaries in 2 days.....then the full report came through...mine was quick because the pathology was done right there in the same hospital. They have a complete dept..........do you know if thy did an Oncotype test. That is also helpful....that takes about 2 weeks to come back, cause it is sent to Ca. To be done.
Also Foxey..your not old...I will be 78 in April......was almost 76 when I got the news....hang in there.......and ask questions, and don't leave till you get all the answers.......take your time planning your course of action......do nothing till you feel comfortable with YOUR decision...0 -
Foxey, Remember you own your medical record.
Bonnets, Happy to hear Kitty is better. Teeth that hurt can make them stop eating. We get kitties into the shelter that have up to 5 teeth that need to be pulled. Some even end up completely toothless. They can only eat canned food, but are otherwise just fine.
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Jackie it made me feel so good the you messaged me I kept looking to see if any posted and no one had so you messages was very welcoming made me feel better. I hate that any of the ladies on here have to go through this but it is a confort to know you can talk to some one that understand es .
EVERY ONE OF YOU LADIES HAVE MADE ME FEEL BETTER AND I AM SO HAPPY I FOUND THIS SITE. HAVING A FEW PROBLEMS WITH COMPUTERS BUT IT WILL GET BETTER AND HARD FOR ME TO SAY WHAT I MEAN BUT PLEASE BEAR WITH ME IT WILL GET BETTER. BIG HUGS TO ALL OF YOU AND YOUR ALL IN MY PRAYERS. i WILL POST WHEN I GET MY ONO APT. DONE AND THEN I GO TO MY SURGEON AFTER THAT TO CHECK DRAIN SO I MIGHT KNOW MORE TOMORROW. SO GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO GIVE ANY ONE AN ANSWER ABOUT TREATMENT TOMORROW I NEED A LITTLE TIME . GOOD NIGHT AND THANK YOU ALL. PAULA
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Foxey, I am glad you understand that this is a place we can discuss anything and help one another. We all have had a little different experience and every one of us has had uncertainties or confusion. You are doing great and I hope you are feeling better every day. Hugs & prayers for you, too.
Jackie, Camille, is it still cold in the midwest?? It got so windy and cold here...and usually we get your weather next. At least we may have a little sunshine for a day or two.
Bonnets, did you get more snow or just the wind? I had about 2" covering everything this AM. The wind was ferocious and some traffic lights were out.
G'night all
Joan0 -
Heard its a bear out there today....windy and cold.........it's 6am...been up since 3. Ready. To go bed, but my grandchildren are off today, so I am headed to my daughters to watch the kids for her while she goes to work. Fun day...we are going to bake......stay warm everyone...hugs
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