Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
-
Hang in there Linda. It is all scary, and added to it is having to take a leave from work. Makes it feel like something you can't shake off. No one likes operations much of any kind, and that goes triple for one connected to one of the scariest problems in the world. That though is why so many of us stay on the BC. Org site. Someone was there for us when we came -- no matter how long ago and when I want a breath of really fresh air from the cares of the world....I just come here. Everyone, though they may have problems they want to talk about, or se's to discuss, it is always uplifting when you realize that your problem is never yours alone....if your back is tired we are here and will carry the burdens for you. Anything shared tends to end up diminished. So all your pocket people will be there to fill whatever need comes up.
Peace and love,
Jackie
0 -
Just had to send one more of the Easter Lilly display...0 -
Beautiful pictures ladies.
Linda I can't say don't be nerveous cuz u will be, but just remember being April 3rd, by April3rd (same day) it'll be over. And honestly u'll think I went thru all this crazyness for this? I'm from the thought that when u'r told u have to be operated on, u go directly to the hospital and do it--No time to think. LOL
0 -
Six year old Annie returns home from school and says she had her first family planning lesson at school.
Her mother, very interested, asks; "How did it go?"
"I nearly died of shame!" she answers. "Sam from over the road, says that the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."
Her mother answers laughingly, "But thats no reason to be ashamed."
"No, but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!"
0 -
Linda, I remember vividly my first thought when I became conscious after my surgery. "The tumor is gone!" I felt so happy! I expect you to feel the same.
Nature delivered cold weather for our 3-day "ringer" women's golf tournament at our club. Tues. and Wed. morning I wore long underwear (on the top) under my clothes. But it was sunny and I really wasn't too cold thanks to good old arimidex, which "lights my fire"! LOL. I played pretty well thanks to a dry course and lots of roll. But I was 2 strokes away from winning my flight.
Today it's foggy out. The warm weather is back. I doubt we have any more cold fronts getting this far south. My mother has an apptment for a perm. today. DH isn't feeling well. I'm a little worried about him. We have plans for going to the Fairgrounds tomorrow for the Louisiana Derby but he may not feel up to it.
Lots of unpleasant drama going on in my niece's life. She tries to be friendly with the 2 older children's father (to whom she is still legally married) but he is an unhappy person and is verbally abusive. Despite not helping support the children, he expected to be able to claim them in order to get a nice check from Uncle Sam for earned income credit.
Happy Good Friday. What are the Easter plans?
0 -
Compassion is the basis of all truthful relationship: it
means being present with love--for ourselves and for all
life, including animals, fish, birds, and trees. Compassion
is bringing our deepest truth into our actions, no matter
how much the world seems to resist, because that is ultimately
what we have to give this world and one another.
Ram Dass0 -
Good morning everyone. We had a bit of rain overnight and as it was predicted I didn't get up surprised. Looks like in a while the sun will come out. It is going to e warn here -- as warm as this part of the yr. can get. I think since warm will continue to increase we can probably look for more nighttime rain too. Well, while I'm sleeping I won't really mind.
Carole, what you were saying about your niece's ex sounds so "right". From the generation of I want it all and deserve it all. Wonder if there is a chance he or those like them will wake up in time.
I think I am like you and probably EVERYONE else in this case. I was so glad to have my lumpectomy done. After I was completely aware that there was something growing inside me ( didn't help me one bit to know it had been there for a long time ) I felt like a time bomb that could go off. It was something of a dichotomy to me that it could be there and not be doing something horrible the whole time, but tumors really don't grow that fast, though they are sometimes aggressive. It is fear that takes off like a rocket.
Hope you all have a fantastic day.
Peace and love,
Jackie
0 -
Carole that's so predictable about the income tax, I remember that whole experience. Oh and I'm sorry about u'r olfing. almost. But I'm glad the weather was in u'r favor with dry ground.
Chevy that was so cute and the little girl is adorable.
OK weather is kind of nice here (warmer) but my SIL said it's going to get colder by Monday--we'll see. Actually we had another not so bad winter, not much snow and few zeros and it was always ok to go out. so now we wait to see what summer brings.I really liked this winter better than last summer actually.
Well I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend celebrating Easter. We got our eggs colored and all the Easter stuff, and I got Joey another Lego thing 00he loves those all the time--so he'll like his Easter day.
0 -
Camille, I love the colored eggs! For some reason they taste better than ordinary ole boiled eggs. How old is Joey?
My niece's estranged husband refused to give her any money for Easter candy for the kids so I financed the Easter bunny. And I really don't mind. Today while my mother was getting her perm, I went to my niece's house and helped her fold clothes. She's really hopeful that the new meds will help her stabilize so that she can get a part-time job during 2013.
DH seems to be feeling a little better. Fingers crossed that he feels good enough for our Fairgrounds outing tomorrow. I've been looking forward to it. I love watching the thoroughbreds race. They're such gorgeous animals. And the corned beef poboys at the Fairgrounds are great!
It's my opinion that winter is over here. Today was a gorgeous day, sunny and in the low 70's.
0 -
Good morning, It's a beautiful day here , supposed to be in the 50's. I thought we'd take a ride , but the kitchen drain is plugged up. Tried Liq. Plumber, no luck. DH says he well take it apart, but I think it's a Roto Rooter job, not A DH job. Can't tell him that! Can't wash dishes! Hmmm eat out?
Guess that's the high point of my day, lucky you Carole, with the 70's. Everyone have a good Easter.
0 -
Oh Wow! Bonnets, that is the worst! We went through that.... trying to unplug the bathtub, and sink..... Loooooooooong story.... It was a disaster.
SOMEtimes they can fix it, but sometimes it is a job for Superman.... Ha! Good luck with that one! No, they think they can fix everything! If they can't screw it in tight enough until it snaps, or they can duct-tape it, or take it apart, or fix it so it will never work again.
We don't use our disposal any more.... it's just so easy to scrape off all the tid-bits, and either trash it, or throw it over in the ditch for all the birds, squirrels, foxes, possums, and who-ever else lives over the fence.... Ha!
Okay gals.... Hi to everyone! Have a beautiful day! xoxoxoxo
0 -
In a noisy world, seek the silence in your heart. And through the power of silence, the energies of chaos will be brought back to harmony--not by you, but through you, as all miracles are. When we visit this silence regularly, particularly in the morning, then the days of our lives become lit from above. Darkness and fear are cast from our midst, slowly at first, one moment at a time. Ultimately, all darkness will be gone from every heart. Marianne Williamson
0 -
Chevy,
Unplugged! Even ran the dish washer. We are on a septic, so can't have a disposal. Didn't know that til we remodeled the kitchen a few years ago. No Dh didn't fix it, the plumber did! Monday we get the tank cleaned too. Wow, exciting week! Soooo, back in business.
Illinoislady, Cudn't live in the city again. Living in Semi country, birds are the noise here most of the time. We can enjoy quiet, watch the deer, woodchucks, bunnies. Boring I'm sure to some.
0 -
Bonnets,
I know exactly what you are talking about.....I/we live a couple of miles out of town, in the woods by a man made quite large lake. Herds of deer and many other kinds of wildlife can ge glimpsed and enjoyed here. Always thrilling to sit quietly outside at night and hear a whole confab of owls conversing with each other. How I love to know what they are really saying. There are a couple of areas towards town that I could probably make it in, but for the most part.....I'm staying put right here for as long as my years will allow me to stay comfortable.
Peace and love,
Jackie
0 -
I just saw this!
Hopefully, SOMEday! xoxoxo
0 -
Hi ladies. My 89 year old mother in law has a birad 4c mammo plus ultraound. And doesnt want a biopsy. I am 60 and One year post radiation. I want her to have the biopsy and then decide about surgery. Any thoughts. She is pretty healthy, lives alone, drives a car. Mentally sharp.
0 -
Chevy, thanks for sharing that article. And the "family planning" story made me LOL...good one!
Carrye, I'm not exactly sure what your mother's mammo showed, but is she willing to have any surgery or treatment? or are you saying she does not want to move forward with the diagnosis and plan? That's a tough one...must be hard on you. It sounds like she seems to be in control of her life. Maybe you can just listen and encourage her to do all she can to stay healthy.
What a blessing to have your mom so independent at her age.
Well, I'm about to stuff a few eggs for the grandkids...have made apple crisp, mini cakes for the kids, DH made cheesecake, and I bought cookies at the bakery. We will be at DD's and all my kids and grandkids will be together except one! This is unexpected and wonderful.
It is supposed to rain tomorrow so I hope we can spend time outdoors with the kids before the rain comes.
DS is in NY from Chicago. I will only see him tomorrow.
Happy Easter and have a wonderful day.
Hugs & blessing for all,Joan
0 -
Hi Carrye
As you know biopsy's' are not really an invasive thing......and I do think since they were able to do so with me, sometimes a biopsy can tell which type of cancer a person might have. In other words, maybe as was my case, a non-aggressive slow grower. Then again you know enough to read my diagnosis line and there was actually a second tumor not found which had never shown up. That one turned out to be aggressive.
What I'm really saying is......if it were a non-aggressive growth, your mother might actually do quite well. I just think in any case, these are things that might be nice to know. Not being morbid, but fore-warned is fore-armed pretty much. I mean, I do undestand as sometimes the cure can be worse then the disease, but you need to know that. At the same time.......there is always the possibility that what has been noted is NOT a cancer growth. Now, for the sake of everyones nerves and fears, it would be a wonderful thing to know that NOTHING is actually going on. It's a tough call.
These are just my thoughts, of course, and people are due their respect, but were it my Mother I would want to know as much about her heatlh as possible and I'd hope that she would want to do me the kindness of not letting me play a guessing game about something so important. She is not required to do anything if she does not want after a biopsy but my goodness....it COULD come back negative.
Hope you will let us know how it goes.
Peace and love,
Jackie
0 -
Morning gals.... First, let me post this.... my Daughter just sent it to me.... and it really says a lot.
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/03/how-nature-resets-our-minds-and-bodies/274455/
Whew! Sometimes things get lost in space, if I don't do it right when I'm thinking about it..
Carrye... Jackie is right.... Your MIL might want to be in control of everything... IF she does have the Mammogram, and they advise a biopsy, and IF it is cancer, they will always advise her to have it removed, plus either radiation or/and chemo.... That would be really tough on her.
When I had my Mammogram, and they found cancer, I was 72... and I thought I must be the oldest one EVER to have breast-cancer, much less go through surgery. I knew nothing at the time. My surgeon says, she has operated on one gal, 82, in great shape, and is doing well.
But your MIL might have her own way of thinking... who can say? If she does have the biopsy, maybe THEN she will decide what is best for her.
Just be there, and "listen".....try and not tell her what she "should" do.... she will know...and will want you to accept her decision. We all might think she SHOULD go ahead, if they find cancer, but maybe she doesn't want to go down that road.
You know, and we all know, what could happen if everything is ignored... and it is cancer.... But sometimes we just have to step back, and hold them close and accept what THEY want to do.
So okay friends! Go out and have a beautiful day! Baking a ham dinner for DD#2! Oh! I have some fresh eggs my neighbor brought over!
SHE has 4 hens, the gal next to her has 8 damn chickens, and the neighbor on the OTHER side of me has 6!!!! I swear!!! I must live in the Tooley's or somewhere! I hear them "clucking" once in awhile, and see them running around in the yard, and it really IS cute... Ha!
If I see goats, I will KNOW I am down on the farm...
Or if I someday hear MOOOing! .....So fresh eggs for Easter morning!!!
0 -
0 -
Do we spread loving kindness? There are many who say that this is our ultimate goal on this planet--to spread loving kindness to our fellow human beings. And when we are able to accomplish this goal, we find that our lives are transformed in the process. We're no longer so strongly focused on things and negative thoughts and feelings, but we've become truly happy, content human beings who love life and living.
tom walsh0 -
Chevy...too funny about the moo'ing. However; when we first moved out here, while still in the other house, the neighbors had their hen house close to the back of the property......so we could hear the chickens a lot. It was a sort of re-assuring sound actually. Growing up around here ...... well, about 4 miles from her, nearly everyone had some chickens for some time. So.....it was a way to feel some of the comfort of early life.....when I had no cares or worries. All I had to do then was grow up and hopefully enjoy some life along the way. Listening to the chickens was just a part of that.
Warm today but we will face the possibility of having rain for that privilege. Wish it were sunny for any of the wee ones who might be out and about for Easter egg hunts. I just hope they all enjoy themselves immensely today. Easter was always a fun time for us growing up and with my own kids.
Peace and love,
Jackie
0 -
My mom was diagnosed at age 86. We didn't know until after her mastectomy courtesy of a sister who took it upon herself to make arrangements. Mom was never the same after and couldn't adjust to her new situation. Very stressful year following and she died fourteen months after her surgery. It would be good to know if there is anything going on, I do agree that a biopsy is warrented but if anything is found then that has to be a decision that honors her wishes and provides quality of life as well as quantity.
0 -
Gosh, I am so sorry to hear that pt.......mainly that you were not given opportunity for input. For one thing, your mom may have qualified for a lumpectomy........or even nothing if the tumor was a non -aggressive one. This was what I was hoping to say clearly enough to Carrye. Whether its age, other medical issues, and very much the wishes of the diagnosed person. It will never I think be a one-size fits all disease.
I know for me I had such fear ...... and I was about 62 when I was diagnosed so felt that I had so many great years left.....but some don't have the same fears.....and many life your mom at 86 had a lot more years in and likely might have preferred to do things differently....or maybe nothing at all. It is a very personal choice.
Peace and love,
Jackie
0 -
Dreamers.... I understand.... I only hope that my Daughter's know me well enough to trust me and my own thinking. I might be wrong but, I don't think I would want to go through what your Mom did at her age. A mastectomy, and probably those treatments are just too damn hard.
I know there is always a chance, that just letting things go is bad also.... but I want to make up my own mind..... Talking to a good "team" would help.... get all their opinions, good and bad.
Yes, it IS a personal choice. And Daughter's have to know that "Mom" sees things a little differently.
Happy Easter everyone! xoxoxo
0 -
Happy Easter everyone!
Welcome Linda and Honeybair....you have joined a great site!
Back in SC, making the transition from warm weather to somewhat cooler here:( Today we had lunch with BF's DD..I like her a lot. I'm missing Easter with my kids and grands but we did have our celebration last Sunday.
The home we're in here is on a beautiful lake with lots of land. It is very tranquil yet near the city and shopping, so I'm a happy camper. I still have my home in NC (about an hour away) which I am going to check on later this week. Hopefully no damage from the winter ice storms!
Had my doctor visit the other day and my blood work was excellent. My vitamin D levels have gone up to 60 which is the highest ever for me. Kinda explains why I haven't been sick all winter. Much better start to this year over last!
0 -
Thanks re my mother in law. You are all responding with wisdom.
New info. She had a birads score of 4c, which means her tumor is 70% plus chance malignant.
I would like her to know for sure, but she is convinced the biopsy will be too stress for her at 89 years old and she is afraid of having a stroke. She passed out during the ultrasound!! She is very sensitive and nervous. She has herniated disks in her neck and a frozen shoulder, so a lot of positions that are easy for most people cause her a lot of pain.0 -
Carrye, I admit I will have go look up what birads actually is, but 70 % does seem rather high. Also if she is the nervous type I can understand that she might not want to go farther. A couple of things come to mind......during my biopsy ( and I'm hoping I recall completely ) they just had me laying flat on a table type bed. Still, it was an ultrasound guided biopsy if memory serves.
I'm wondering why something like a biopsy could not be done perhaps with very, very mild sedative of some sort. I mean I recall having to do one of the old fashioned MRI's and they gave me this tiny, tiny little pill. I silently chuckled to myself that they would think this tiny speck could allay my "heavy" claustrophobic terrors. I took the thing to humor them just sure that I would scream bloody murder. Well, much to my surprise.....I was the one surprised when nothing happened and I remained totally peaceful throughout. Now there is something one could get addicted to.......but only meaning......of course she would feel utmost reluctance to do any of these things with some of her issues.
I think it still would be helpful to know what may or may not be there tumor wise. At her age, if she 'might' have an actual tumor, it could be the lazy, non-aggressive slow-growing type and she could conceivably live for 8 to 10 yrs without any problems......in fact could easily if that were the case, pass on from something totally un-related to cancer tumors.
I don't know that a biopsy would or even could cause a stroke, but apparently I'm guessing this is more along the line of a general fear of hers. Perhaps she has already had one at some time. I had a stroke several years before my cancer, but I just at this point, can't really see how that would tie in to some of the beginning tests done for cancer detection and diagnosis. Anything with anyone is a possibility. Her caregiver/Dr.'s would need to assess any and all risks of procedures for anything that she was willing to do.
Again, to me it would be as much as anything, a way to !: Be sure of her actual status -- if there is a tumor or not for sure. 2. If so assess what kind it might be if there....slow or perhaps fast growing. 3. Be able perhaps to make some predictions about over-all prognosis and what could be expected if something were done as opposed to doing nothing and what could be expected there.
There are many different types of treatments and it would be nice ( if she and her Dr. could be more certain through some minimal tests if possible ) about what it actually there.
Still the bottom line though if she is mentally stable -- and she sounds all of that and then some, it is her choice. My own mother chose quality over quantity --- though she waited for the time when it was highly apparent to her that she would find little comfort or actual enjoyment with the way things had become for her and that she would have to be in care facility as she could not exist outside of one any longer.
As difficult as it can be, sometimes only the person affected can know for sure.
I'll be thinking of both of you and hope that good answers will and can come that will make you all feel at peace with the outcome of whatever decisions are made.
Peace and love,
Jackie
ETA: I didn't realize this note was so long, but thought I should say....I generally speak whatever comes to mind which is usually what I feel in my heart. It is not scientific by any means and I'm hoping my memory is clear on things.
0 -
Carrye, my bs surgeon made a very interesting comment to me when he thought I was opting completely out of surgery, due to my message not getting to him correctly. I was wanting to change from lumpectomy to BMX. I was 61 at the time and he said if I were older, as in my 90s, I would die from something else before the cancer would cause death. This could be where your MIL is coming from. Be there for her as I am sure this is weighing heavily on her. It is hard to stand by when our loved ones have fears that play into their decisions. My prayers for your MIL and you.
0 -
Carrye, Jackie is is right, and so is Kat... Your MIL is scared to death of anything at this point. She feels like she has to make a decision, and she doesn't want to!
Yes, it would be nice to know, but even the "slight inconvenience" I went through with that biopsy, is STILL so frightening for "someone else" maybe. She KNOWS what they are looking for, so that will make it even harder for her.
So what if it is? Or what if it isn't? She doesn't care right now... Maybe ask HER what she wants to do...
Can you just talk to her matter-of-factly, with all this information? Then let her decide... I don't think I would be the one to talk someone into something, and then it didn't work out.
They did this to my Mom... Her routine exam, that she drove to herself, wound up with "them" sending her to emergency, then a trip to the hospital, for a triple by-pass and valve procedure.... She had a stroke, life support, then we just all had to decide to "let her go"....
She was doing FINE at home, with Dad, treating congestive heart failure, which was under control... driving all over the place. But Mom thought "they" knew best... No-one knows what will happen...
So think about it, and talk to her.... thinking of you....
0
