Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Late one night a mugger
wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in
his ribs "give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied,
"you can't do this – I am a United States congressman!" "In that case," replied
the mugger, "give me MY money."0 -
Linda - Great news!! I am so happy for you. I go to the RO for a planning appointment on Monday. Anyone know what that is all about? I can't wait to get started on all of this.
I have learned to appreciate how precious life is. Everything looks brighter, clearer. I seem to have thrown away the nonsense worrying because that stuff just isn't worth the time. I think I have learned some lessons along the way since my diagnosis. Blessing in disguise? I wish I didn't have to learn the hard way!!
Have a great evening, Ladies!
Chick
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St. Chick.....The planning should be tattoos for where to direct the radiation I think. It has been five yrs. for me and they can change things in that amount of time, but that is what I did when I did rads.
Rads are generally more of a nuisance thing. It takes more time to get ready and positioned on the table when you start doing them, then the 5 to 8 mins they will be zapping you.
It is a time taker as you go every day Mon. - thru Fri. Weekends off and then back the next Monday. Usually your R.O. will have a conference with you once a week while your doing the rads.....and of course, they should provide you with some great lotion to apply to your skin to keep it in the best of shape.
You have a wonderful attitude. Life really is precious even if we get a few bumps along the way. I'm sure we grow from everything -- even the things that take us by surprise and are often pretty un-wanted. Once in a while when I looked at the roads I've traveled on in my life....and see how they all formed up to get me where I am today I am sometimes amazed. You grow in some way from every little thing, with every person that crosses your path, every time you smile and laugh, and also the times when you have cried. It is sort of like a symphony....sometimes loud, then soft, fast or slow, but each part finding the place where it best fits and so you see that there is unison through it all as you grow and move on past one time of life into the next.
You even get to see where you gained the most strength......and the wonderful times you got through the things you felt you probably could not handle. You are so much more than you recognize sometimes and you become the perfect example of who you really are.
Ok....end of the rant. Don't know what overtook me but I'm going to stop before I hear any yawns.
See you in the morning ladies.
Love and peace,
Jackie
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Chick, I've learned to appreciate life, too, even if we did have to learn it the hard way. I sometimes have to remind myself that the little things aren't worth the stress, though. I think it's all those years of worrying about everything and that's so hard to overcome, but I'm doing better. In fact, if I'm honest, there are several other good lessons that I've learned after my diagnosis and as I went though my journey. I certainly am much more caring and nurturing to others and I readily reach out to others now.
Jackie, we had those bad storms, too. They brought down a few limbs in the yard but didn't do any serious damage. We also got lots of rain. What's the old saying???? April showers bring May flowers and I say, "Bring on those flowers!"
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Hi all,
I was so busy that I got about 3 pages behind here...did my taxes, worked hard this week, now am on a mini vacation with my DDs and families. Having a great time...more details soon.
Carol, I felt that when you were missing from here that things were not right...so sorry about your niece and then about your DH...there are good days and bad, and sometimes they hit us all at once. Glad about your great golf, though! Hope things are better.
Bonnets, what's the status of your trip? Hope it goes smoothly. I need a trip to Chicago to visit DS although he does come back to NY a lot...also have a favorite brother in OH that I have not seen in a few years...gotta get there too.
Glad to hear that some of you ladies are having good news....so happy for you.
And to those who are in the midst of uncertainty or discomfort, I wish you better days.
I agree about the Arimidex destroying perfectly healthy thumbs...I have trouble opening a water bottle, my medicaiton bottles, and even opening a letter. It is frustrating...I was fine before that first pill.
But putting it in perspective, life is good and I am grateful.
Hugs to everyone,
Joan0 -
Hi Ladies,
Mom had her pre-surgery visit today. She is scheduled for next Wed.- a lumpectomy. We thought it would be better due to her limited movement on that side from the stroke and it is what mom picked when I drew pictures explaining the choices to her. She understands what will be done. I know she hates drs. and hospitals and though she can't express anxiety, I saw it in her eyes when we were talking about it. I pray that we are doing the best things for her.
I am getting anxious again. We never got her seizure medicine completely worked out. She was nauseous for a week after increasing her dose to what the dr. wanted. The nurse practitioner told me to decrease it back. Yet, when I insisted on talking to the actual dr. today, he said he didn't think it was from the medicine! So, I could have been giving her the dose he wanted for the last 2 weeks instead of now worrying about whether it is enough medicine going into surgery. The neuro said he will make a change after the surgery now. I hope he knows what he's doing.
I got all kinds of instructions today for her surgery- washing with special soap beforehand, which meds. to take and not take the day of. So many details- plus, I have to prepare to stay in NYC the night before with mom. We don't travel light these days- night splints and other post-stroke extras. I have never driven into NY myself so that will add to it all! Hopefully, we can get there early and have a nice dinner.
Some of you have talked about wearing a bra all the time after surgery (I think) but when I asked today they said that was not needed.
On a positive note, my mom and I just returned from 10 days in Hilton Head, SC. We enjoyed breakfast on the balcony with an oceanview and sat by the pool with brother and his family. This week was back to reality though- therapy and doctor's appts.
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I read all the notes you've written about life giving us the challenges we need to become our authentic self (paraphrased). I believe that, and, in fact, have done alot of reading and talking about it. I lead some dream groups for a while and worked with my own dreams in an effort to use inner knowledge to improve waking life and move towards a true, authentic self. Your notes remind me of all that.
I think this is the deepest I've been in the challenges, or maybe the most consumed by them (since mom's stroke and everything that followed and taking care of her). Sometimes (well, all the time) I don't even relax for 5 mins. to breathe in the ocean air that is a block away! My mom always worried that she was being a bother (when she wasn't) and had always put my brother and me ahead of herself. Now, she needs us to help her even walk and doesn't even realize that previously she would have thought that "was a bother."
I tell myself that now my mother is getting all the care and attention she deserves- not that we didn't give her attention before. But with these challenges, we tell her more often how much we love her and give her more hugs then ever before. I used to talk to my mom on the phone every couple days and sometimes she would call when I didn't feel like talking, that's so hard for me to forget. Now, she can't talk and you can't imagine how much I miss it all - even the nagging! I don't know my point, ladies. And, I know that this has nothing to do with breast cancer. But, I found you guys for a reason so I'm just telling you. As I wipe the tears off the keyboard.... I will take some deep breaths and say thanks for reading.
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thanks for the welcome back and I know alot of women deal with husbands that drink. I usually stay upstairs away from him and do have peace and quiet. He has good parts about him (working on that list now). My doctor calls him my achilles heel, lol. The good part is all the kids are doing great and of course the gg baby is the light of my life, I spend a few hours a week with him and when he has a boo-boo he wants me to kiss it and when he is tired he climbs in recliner with me, its great. Of course he has to have his blood pressure checked (wrist) on both arms when he comes in. Usually reads error but he likes it.
Regbeach, it will turn out ok and i understand tears on the keyboard (should be a country song), think everyone here has had those. When I had the lump removed it was the easy part.
Hope every one has good day, still havent to a chance to catch up.
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Well I'm here, not in Chicago! The weather in Al. where my brother lives was sooo bad, as well as in Detroit, where I needed to change planes that I backed out. Figured I might have to spend the night, at one airport or the other. Lucky his wife is going to join him today.Maybe another time. Just cold and rainy here today.
Regbeach, hopefully Mom will do just fine. A lot of us can identify, having had to care for our mom's in later life. It's difficult to see them in later years, not as we remember them, and not to feel guilty about what we did or didn't do for them. Also makes us wonder how we will be, when our time comes! Good you had the beach time to enjoy.
Each one of us has our unique life story, and are in places we never dreamed of. It is difficult to see beyond the present at times, and amazing to see what we have survived!
Have a good day.
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Regbeach, I can sense your relief that the surgery plan has been settled. It seems to me that lumpectomy was a better alternative to MX, considering your mother's health. I can't imagine driving in NYC. You are a brave woman. Keep us updated.
Jennifer, I'm glad you have your little grandson to add joy to your life.
Bonnets, you were probably wise to change your travel plans. We had some scary, stormy weather yesterday about noon when we were under a tornado warning. It got very dark and the wind was blowing hard. The rain came down in torrents, about an inch and a half. Thankfully the storm was fast-moving and was gone after after 30 to 45 min.
I kept waiting to hear the sound of a freight train and was prepared to make a dash into the hallway! This morning the sun is shining, the air is cooler outside and the mugginess is gone. Yesterday morning the A/C was on and this morning the heat took the chill out.
Today my mother has a hair apptment at 11:15 and then a dr. apptment at 1:30. Both apptments were originally scheduled for yesterday but we switched days because of the weather forecast.
My niece is still in the psychiatric facility near my house. Arrangements have been made for her to go for treatment at an outpatient facility when she is discharged. Fortunately for her, she has medicare even though she's only 31. But she's on disability and thus qualifies for medicare. Without that coverage, she would be "up the creek without a paddle." I do so hope that the AFC (Affordable Care Act dubbed Obamacare) will eventually make a difference for the mentally ill in the low income category.
I'm under no illusions that my niece will ever be "well." But she brought three children into the world and needs to do a better job of looking after them. There is no one in her extended family to raise them on a full-time basis.
Wishing everyone a great Friday.
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Sooner or later all mankind will realize that the greatest cure
for all the ills and wrongs, the cares, the sorrow and crimes
of humanity rests solely in acts of love. Love is the greatest
gift from God. It is the divine spark that everywhere produces
and restores life. To each and every one of us, love gives us
the power to work miracles with your own life and those we touch.0 -
Oh I was so touched by what everyone wrote this morning. Especially so about the tears and yes, I do think we have all had them.....sometimes when least expected. Part is likely some overwhelm added to the memories of what our parents WERE before the present circumstances. Part is fear of the future but what I immediately thought after is....you have some regret and maybe that is good.
I think it is totally normal to wish for some of the things you didn't enjoy or didn't do during the BTC ( before this calamity ) period. My mother was a very study, stoic person and so I was that way all during her final days. I wondered later why -- I later came to accept the idea that it is what she would likely find more personally comforting rather than the sobbing, frightened mess that was going on inside of me. I just felt it somewhere and went with it.
Hindsight is a wondrous thing, but it is not a lot of help in many ways. On the day we do some of the things we do -- it is because there is no real need at that time to do it differently. Still, it is those things which would have deepened our times together and they will always be missed. I think it is just a part of discovery....if I had my life to actually do over I would likely be changing well over half of it.
Spiritually, I think we go through what we need to, just the way we need to for a reason. It helps us grow in some way and will enhance perhaps not our physical existence but our soul's existence. This is not always easy to spot because some of these things don't feel so good at the moment. After about 16 years of spiritual study and a lot of looking back on my part that is the thing that indicates to me. It is how I learned to be better at accepting those kinds of things I look back on and still feel some longing to have done a bit differently.
Regbeach, you and your Mom will be in my thoughts and prayers very much this week and next as you prepare for the upcoming surgery. I as well chose lumpectomy so that my left weak from stroke side, would have less trauma....and now I'm glad I did. As well though, I was the one who wore the tight bra for two weeks day and night. I had a big bandage on as well. Some Dr's/surgeons may not do it that way. I felt it helped me......I didn't use so much as as aspirin for pain as I just didn't feel enough to do it.
bonnets....guess I'm glad you stayed home and didn't get mixed up in any storms while trying to travel. I would be apprehensive enough just doing it....let alone getting stranded away from home. I recall flying when younger with such abandon, nothing fazed me. Now in my late 60's...I consider every step and part of one from as many sides as I can. We do learn and grow. It is probably good to become as cautious as we seem too.
Carole, sure sounds like your niece is doing better and maybe will be able to have at least a little more coping skills that could really work. There is a family here where the parents have issues....turns out the one and only child they had is extremely bright. It is not a big help right now completely ( she sometimes takes on some of the actions she sees from her parents ) but I do think later on -- when she is exposed more and more to more 'normal' household styles, and the great training she gets from her grandparents, she will lean towards and use those to get along. At least, that is what her grandparents think. I certainly think so as well.
I hope you all have a gorgeous day. Little sun here which I sure hope stays.
Looking forward to the week-end.
Peace and love,
Jackie
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Good Morning,
Been raining here in Rochester for like forever! Yesterday it was only 32 degrees:( Where is Spring?
I'm doing the "Happy" dance for sure! Grateful I don't need a full node dissection!
Bonnets: You had rads for 6 weeks even w/ negative nodes. Why that length of treatment? I guess I will find out soon enough.
Jackie: I know I'm not the only one who feels like I was dealt a bad hand in life. It's just, after so many years of trying to climb that unattainable mountain, that always seems looming in front of me, I would start the climb, get half away or three quarters & would slip right back down again to the bottom! I have struggled financially, emotionally & physically for most of my adult life! I have many other medical conditions I have been dealing with & I guess getting diagnosed w/ cancer has left me feeling bitter & cynical. You're right tho, I know I have to "buck up" & turn to myself, yet again.
Chick: I feel the same way about rads. I just want to get started w/ it. Hopefully I will hear from the cancer center next week & get an appt. set up.
Keep sending me strength & fortitude! I want to become like all of you; strong & in control of your lives! I admire each & every one of you!!!
Linda
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Linda,
I was told that was the stansard proceedure. Figured it was better than chemo!
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Linda, I had rads for 6 weeks also with no lymph node involvement. I think they do rads on most gals who choose the lumpectomy because the rads target the incision and surgical site. Unfortunately I was in the gray zone for chemo since I had Grade 3 cells so I also did one of the milder forms of chemo. The rads were MUCH easier on me than the chemo. It was just a pain going every week day for 6 weeks. I got smart midway through and changed my rads schedule to one of the earlier times in the day. They were always running on time in the earlier morning so I never had to wait long. I just ran in, changed my top, got zapped and was back out the door in about 20 minutes! You can do it, gal!
It's dreary and cold again here today! Come on springtime!
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Linda, six or seven weeks is standard. Usually 32-35 tx. Good luck
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I'm writing a little at a time here. Imissed so much How did zI do that????
Grace call u'r surgeon about any bleeding if it bothers u, he's the one to talk or see u,--that I know.
Caroe I'm glaad u were with u'r sister for u'r niece--it's a hard time for her too, And yes Jackie and I live in the same state in 2 different worlds, she sees sun and flowers, I see rain and dirt. Maybe it's our attitude LOL Good game Carole.
Linda GREAT NEWS--very happy for this.
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Regbeach u are doing a wonderful job with and for u'r Mom, it's a lot to take in now but hopefully it will be over soon and u2 can relax somewhat.
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If I want to feel younger and look younger, then it's only natural that part of my daily routine is to laugh more. Laughing gives the muscles of my face, chest, and abdomen a workout. A hearty laugh stimulates my heart rate, causes me to breathe deeply, and releases happiness hormones, my endorphins. Laughter is one of the ways I express my gratitude to God. As I laugh, I release the gladness of my soul into the environment--creating something that's good for me and good for all those around me.
unattributed0 -
Camille....you are so funny, but you are also right. I feel great fortune ( though I would adjust anywhere ) to be from this little part of Illinois. We do seem to enjoy better weather than our Northern upstate neighbors as well as our downstate Southerners. We are just barely considered southern where we are.....and I think all that gets us there is that we are not truly in the middle of the state.
I do feel fortunate that we don't in general get the extremes that are part of those much higher or lower in the state and it really does seem the Northern people must wait longer for the Spring and balmy temps to come.
I'm sending you as much of today's sunshine and warmth as I can. Later this week we will have a lot of rain which will drop the temps again, but not to an un-bearable point. Great hope for all that summer and warmth are close at hand.
Hi Chevy, Rita, St. Chick, Linda, bonnets, mommarch,Linda, Carole, PT and everyone I might have missed....
Peace and love
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Good morning to all of you! The sun is shining brightly in Central Illinois this morning and I have a full day on my agenda. First I'm off to the library, one of my favorite places. Then my poor car needs a quick car wash. I had it detailed a couple of weeks ago and it looked so nice but a black car doesn't fare well on a gravel lane!
Tonight we're driving into Peoria for a birthday party for a dear friend. It's a real treat because we seldom go to Alexander's Steak house and that's where the party is being held. I will overeat...no doubt about it!Everyone enjoy the day! Life is good!
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Hi ladies, I am now facing another dilemema; I know you have told me radiation is usually 6 wks. & it leaves you feeling very fatigued.
I need to find a way to build up strength & energy. I weigh only 90 lbs. & am limited as to what I can eat because of IBS, Food allergies & being Lactose Intolerant. I take anti spasmatic drugs for my stomach & a pancreatic enzyme to help me digest foods.
I have been very worried about radiation; if I am going to be physically strong enough to go through it! Just feeling very stressed about it:(
On a brighter note, hope you are all doing well & have a great weekend!
Linda
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Linda, I hope you have a good team who will share some information with you as far as the rads go. I found taking a little walk daily seemed to be enough to keep the fatigue away for me, but I did not have any of the other problems you do.
I also allowed myself a short nap, but part of that was also boredom. I was put up in a motel 75 miles or so from where I live for the week while I had my rads. I did not have a car with me, but probably would not have been happy going anywhere alone if I had. So, when t.v. was boring, and I got tired of reading.....I would have a nap.
Only got fatigue once or twice during my whole 7 weeks. I will say....IF you get it, you will really know it. Napping or sleeping becomes a total necessity. I think your team may be able to give you some pointers as well as the gals here. I know I always felt perkier when I walked a bit.....didn't seem to have to be a long walk either.
Peace and love,
Jackie
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Linda, It doesn't hit all the time. The RO explained that your body is trying to cope with the radiation and sometime uses up all of its reserves, usually about five or six hours after radiation. If you can plan so that your tx are in the afternoon you can be home when you do get tired. Allow yourself to kick back at that point and get off your feet for a while. Also lots of protein to help you regain your strength. I am also lactose intolerant and IBS. That wasn't a problem but I don't weigh ninety pounds either. I am at 125 lbs. Good luck
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Linda, I also have IBS and did not find fatigue to be a problem, though I am far from 90lbs! I think the gals have hit on all the points. Hopefully you will find it easier than you thought it wud be!
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In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
Albert Einstein0 -
Hi, Linda. I just realized you're the same Linda I replied to on the What's for Dinner thread! There must be some fattening foods that you could eat. And, most important, enjoy. I'm a "foodie" who loves to cook and also a member of WW. My challenge is NOT gaining weight.
We had thunder storms and lots of rain early this morning. It was so nice sleeping in until about 8:30. I'm staying home with dh today. We plan to watch the final day of the Masters golf.
Hope everyone has a good Sunday.
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Hello everyone! It was a lovely golfing day here today and we enjoyed every minute on the golf course. Before I golfed, I weed about half of my iris flower bed and I am stiff tonight. I think I used muscles that I hadn't used all winter. Still, it was so wonderful to be outside with the warmer temps again.
Carole, were you pleased with the results of the Masters? I'm glad he won! There were several unusual calls made during the tournament this year.
Linda, the fatigue didn't hit me until the end of rads and then I just worked around it. It lasted a couple of weeks after the rads were finished but didn't disrupt my life too much. For me, the rads were much easier than the chemo. I would talk to your doctors about your concerns.
Hello to everyone! I'm off to read my book and probably fall asleep reading it. :-)
Everyone have a great week.
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Finished round #3 last Thursday. Last one on May 2nd. I sooo want it to be my last time on this road! I applaud the uplifting attitude you seem to have. Today is a down day,hopefully tomorrow will be better. Just the blahs,emotionally and physically. I think I'll put my castor oil heat pack on my tummy and call it good for a few.......wishing you all a super Monday!! thanks
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pattithenurse
Good to see you again. Glad you are having your last chemo coming up. I too hope you will come away with a NED status that holds out forever. Chemo can have physical and emotional hurdles that is for sure. I had 8 rounds and a couple of times I really thought I might have to give up and not finish.....so it can be easy sometimes and put you on the roller-coaster others.
Of course I'm happy now that I kept on,keeping on. One thing that happened and I always hope it happens to everyone.......I looked back after i finished and I found myself feeling proud that I had made it and feeling so much stronger than I thought I could be. It is quite the accomplishment when you know you have assisted professionals in saving your own life.
There light at the end of the tunnel.
Love and peace,
Jackie
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