Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
-
0 -
Oh what a beautiful morning. I probably should clarify some of my earlier thoughts. I know I usually sound really up-beat much of the time....and I will admit some of my spiritual training and life philosophies help me do that....but like most of the rest of you......I have much to not like in my world. People disappoint me, faimly members betray, promises are broken, and I am either stifff, quite tired or see an ovewrwhelming load of work before me that no one seems to want to give me assistence to and with to get it done.
One of my other ( won the hard way I assure you ) traits is trying not to acknowledge the above items too often....I don't go into denial....they are what they are, but I found out the hard way, give them too much space and attention and they seem to take on a life of their own where it is much more difficult to work through and defeat them.
The other shining light to me ( and one that can be hard to focus on and remember ) is that no matter how hard my road might seem at any given time.....there is some poor soul in this world struggling far harder than I am.
I don't want Linda, Camille, momarch or anyone to think I am just being this really glib person who has all the answers. I don't.....and I am often painfully aware how quick things can go wrong and change. I just ( through all those years of spiritual study ) decided not to get any more caught up into lfe situations as I had too...........to look ahead and give it my all -- however much, and it is different all the time, the ALL is -- sometimes quite a bit, and sometimes pretty scanty.
I hope you all do have a great 4th. of July. We are not celebrating tonight, but waiting for Saturday. The middle of the week just doesn't do it so much for a big get together. People will be going to work the next day....so for us better to use the week-end where one doesn't have to feel big time constraints.
Peace and love
Jackie
0 -
Jackie I love to tease u, but I'm sure life has not been kind all the time, but I love u'r attitude and patience and how u brighten up any thread u are on. U are very special to all of us and truly cared about so I know things can be difficult, but I love the way u turn it around and don't let it overtake u. I'm so sorry if I've hurt u;r feelings.
0 -
I hope that the 4th has brought families together or just brought childhood memories of picnics, flags and fireworks.
DH and I found ourselves alone...and I dragged him downtown to our little main street where hundreds gathered ... he doesn'tlike crowds or traffic, but it was easy...and the fireworks were great. DD #3 is visiting 2 towns over and we spent part of the day with her. But we had no kids around tonight.
Tomorrow (in a few hours) I will have Caroline (2-1/2) all day Friday and Saturday. DD and her DH are going to Boston area to find a house.
Things won't be the same now, but am hoping in some ways it will be better.
I agree with Cammi that the 4th is a day to thinking about our country and our freedom.0 -
Joan I'm glad u'll have Caroline for 2 days-- wow Boston, well mybe from NY it's not awful I don't kniw distance. at all.
But u dragged u'r DH out--good a little nite life is nice, LOL
0 -
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.
-- Bernice Johnson Reagon0 -
Hey good morning everyone.......Camille....you are so sweet.....and of course you did not hurt my feelings what-so-ever. I think I just didn't want to seem so glib to others if I had not had the same sort of problems myself.
The actual truth goes something like this..........we all share ( maybe different little interesting twists to it and of course different cast of characters ) roughly the same sorts of problems....if not before or just now..they will come later. It isn't really THE problems so much as our ability to respond to them well.
I think likely at first...my response isn't so great. I have my crying jags and my confusions, and my 'what the heck am I going to do now's ', but when I get to a certain point I start dusting parts away....everything that isn't essential ( mainly the raw emotion things ) goes. Then I work with what is left. It simplifies things so much for me to remove some of the emotional baggage that weights you down. Then, I can usually fix what is going on or at least reach a point where I can give the problem away so to speak. I mean....sometimes the problem is not even ours to fix so if someone has done something that ties me in knots.....I give it back to them to sort out and handle....knots and all.
I just wanted to clarify all of that.
All right....time for me to go. I have a kitty ( Miss Calico -- aka -- Callie ) who is demanding to be loved on. So insistent....first she meow's to the top of her lungs....then jumps in your lap and rubs all over you.
Geeze'o' peezo....how can one tiny cat almost smother you. I'll see you all later.
Hope you have a fantastic Friday.
Peace and love,
Jackie
0 -
Jackie my Katie is like that too sometimes. when she wants attention shewalks on my computers meowing and it's like I'd better stop and pay attention to her like now--Cats are so funny.
The weather is cloudy but feeling more muggy to me-so the a/c will go on soon, I see it in my future.
Jackie u know I love u'r attitude however u get there--it's great.
0 -
Jackie, I aprreciate your kind words. I agree w/ what you said about the next world; maybe we have all these struggles in this life & our "next" life will be that much better. I have been praying for exactly that; I need a direction for my life right now & just don't know what that is. I know there will always be a poor soul who has it harder or worse off than I do.
Camille, Wow, you are right; it does seem we have led similar lives. I've worked my whole life too & now due to health issues, I work part time. I've heard that before about God only giving us what we can handle, & I have to wonder why would he continue to give us obstacles; I mean one person can only take so much! I wish I could win the lottery too! I know money doesn't solve everything, but it sure would help! You are so sweet; you are a special lady as well.
Kaara, You are so right; there are wealthy people who are not happy w/ what they have. It's just the situation I'm in right now; some extra money would certainly help me figure things out. I know we are suppose to live one day @ a time; I've even been told to live in the moment & enjoy it but it seems sometimes very challenging to do so.
Jackie, I don't think you are a glib person at all. No one has ALL the answers but you do seem very insightful about life. Maybe it is from all of your spiritual training. I'm sure you, like the rest of us, have problems, worries, struggles, etc. We are human; mere mortals.
"Think too much & you will create a problem that was not even there in the first place". Kind of what Jackie was saying about giving too much attention to our problems.
Hope you all have a peaceful evening.
Hugs, Linda
0 -
Everytime I come on here I feel like an old, crooked back woman--and when I leave I''m smiling.
Linda a beautiful post and so tru. We all give to each other no matter what our ages are. I'm still learning and all the good stuff now. Thank u--this is a super thread.
0 -
I have enjoyed all the recent posts about how we struggle and deal with the challenges we face. I'm grateful to all of you for sharing the good times and the bad.
DH and I had a full day yesterday that ended in watching the fireworks in Park Rapids. Which didn't begin until 10:15! It was a really fabulous fireworks.
Today we did...nothing! We were both tired from getting home late.
My "middle" sister is visiting my mother this weekend, so that makes me glad that my mother has company.
Tomorrow morning we'll drive into Park Rapids and check out the farmers' market. I hope the bread lady is there. We really enjoyed her home-made bread last summer.
Hugs to all.
0 -
Carole.....had to laugh about your staying up too late. !!!! I worked on my car all day....well from about noon on and didn't finish until dh got home from work. I am so bushed......but have to really feel it was worth it. My car has not been that clean inside for well over a year. Well, no detailing last year as we had over 100 degree temps all summer long. I washed everything down....all around the doors, soaked the parts that came out and put them back. Put Armor-All every where I could. Did windows inside and out and mirrors. Spray car fabric spray everywhere...............and of course, I got a wash job.
I think it it too much --- I think next time I will do it sooner or plan to make it a two day job. I don't know what I was thinking. I might as well have stayed up for fireworks last night.....though tomorrow night is our official get together. We are allowed to do home fireworks here....so the family puts on a big home show every year. It is very enjoyable.
Going to have a shower and park my slightly smaller ( I've managed to lose 5 lbs. ) derrier' in my recliner.
Went to the hair dresser's day before yesterday. Golly....do I love what she did. A great hair-cut and it made all the difference.
See you all in the morning.
Peace and love,
Jackie
0 -
An optimist is the human
personification of spring.
Susan J. Bissonette0 -
Thank goodness.....no one stole my clean car overnight. Just kidding really. Hate to admit, sometimes I do forget to take the keys out of it. Out here in the woods.....it really doesn't matter too much.
We have the great privilege in reality to live where we do not in general have to concern ourselves much with "our" things. Many years ago....one could go downtown and leave things in their cars and often one would see someone's purse laying on the seat. It was never bothered. Now, you can't do anything like that today. You do have to lock your car and it is best not to leave anything much in sight, even in the locked car.
Out here we still get to live in a much more casual fashion.
I have a number of things to keep me busy through the day which is good. Golly, this not working thing sort of makes you goofy about time. I kept thinking today would be Friday. Just retired and I'm already a day late.
Hope you all have a wonderful Saturday and great week-end.
Love and peace,
Jackie
0 -
Jackie, I hope you're enjoying your "not working" status. I remember the old days when nobody took the keys out of the car. i wonder if the car doors had locks? Does anybody know?
We had a rainy day here at Pine Hollow. It was the kind of gentle rain you would love if you had a garden. We drove into town this morning and bought a loaf of home-made bread and some asparagus at the farmers' market. Then we checked out several restaurants, thinking we might have breakfast, but the parking lots were full and we could see people waiting to be seated. So we came back to Pine Hollow and spent the day indoors watching tv. And snacking to stay awake!
If the weather is better tomorrow, we'll try to be a little more active. Maybe do some biking and go to the nearby town of Nevis for the pig races. How's that for excitement!
0 -
Jackie, that is the way it is here. One time my DH had a piece of wood come back out of his saw at the shop and hit him the eye. He stumbled up to the Dr.'s office and that particular day no Dr. was on Duty, so they called one of the EMT's who was about to got to her second job at the hospital in Alpine. They called me at work, and I said what did he cut off, they explained, so Sharon ( May she rest in peace, she became a flight nurse for Medivac and was killed in a plane crash taking a patient to Odessa.) anyway she loaded him in her car and took him to the hospital. I met him there. Well he had left his shop and everything was open and tools outside. Well a bunch of people got together and went to the shop and put everything inside and locked it up. That is the way it is here. I feel blessed to have lived here 12 years. I know how you feel sometimes you are a Rock and sometimes the Rock cracks a little, I am that way.
Hugs
0 -
Two for one today....Had trouble picking......and I have to admit...I put these on the Illinois thread as well. In fact, they ( and I care for them all dearly too ) are the ones who wanted me to start putting a quote on the thread everyday.
Faith is the bird that feels the light
and sings when the dawn is still dark.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Go within every day and find the inner strength
so that the world will not blow your candle out.
- Katherine Dunham0 -
Carole whatever u'r doing u sound happy and having a great time with u'r DH and yes staying up lte has changed over the years hasn't it.? I hope u get some activities in cuz I know u like to do all of that.
Mommarch what a terrible thing to happen to u'r DH, but wht a nice bunch of people to do what they did.
Jackie I remember those days when no one locked anything, everyone slept well with nothing locked up nd if it was hot slept outside if it cooled down and no one bothered anyone, everyone was outside. It's so nice for anyone to stil live in areas like that-so peaceful.
0 -
At the laundromat with lots of other folks feeding quarters into machines. Wish it was less crowded so I would have more room to fold my clothes. I'm a fussy laundress. It 's good to get out after being cooped up yesterday.
Happy Sunday!0 -
Long day here spent having fun. We had a late breakfast, and then went to my cousin's house. From there she and I drover to her sister's house to see her bedroom make-over. Really nice. She used sone of my favorite colors....yellow and sponged it on --- I think "sponging" is back there a ways, but it does look great.
Then back to Mary's house.....and we all sat around and talked for seceral hours.
Home with a few different things to do.....around here there is always something. I have a fridge full of cooked food though....so only very minimal cooking the next few days.
I have to admit Carole.....laundry is not a great chore for me. The only good thing about it is....at home I can do other things while I wait for the washer or dryer to finish helping me. It is a lot of help but am I grateful --- not nearly as much as I should be.
Hope you all have had a magnificient Sunday.
Peave and love,
Jackie
0 -
0 -
Cammi, love the kitty....that is just how I feel! Work again in 10 hours. Only 5 more days of work then off for a month.
Jackie, I haven't been sleeping that well and did hear the earliest bird the other day...wondering what the heck it was doing up before the sun!!! Your quote explained.
I agree about those initial reactions to stress. I am bad! Then after I whine internally, I try to simplify (as you say) and then make a plan. Sometimes I have to talk to myself ("focus focus") and just squeeze through a dark tunnel until I see the light on the otherside which means my task was completed!I had my grandaughter for 2 whole days and it went well. We ran her ragged on Friday; then Saturday was "I want Mama" and "I don't want to..." for everything we asked. The best part (besides she is successfully out of diapers) is that she took her naps and slept all night. DH helped out and we all had fun. We had a beach day with DD's family today before they went back to NJ. Their moving plans are taking shape. She asked me to move with them until her DH gets a job and sells the house...I cannot leave my job now, and there is no such thing is taking a leave unless it is medical. (sigh, wish things could stay the same for awhile)...It doesn't seem far, but NJ is 2 hours and Boston is 5 by car.
Carole, I can smell that homemade bread....I love hearing about your travels and small town "doin's" but pig races??? How is that even done?
Good night, my friends!
0 -
Where did my post go?
Well good morning---
Joan it's great to have u'r GD for the week-end they are so much fun , a bit tiring. but it's worth it.
My kids came home yesterday and the dog was so so excited--he's so happy now and I'm so relieved--no more Timmy in the well stories-he was dragging me all over trying to tell me things all week-end. Now he's quiet and happy.
Well weather this week is rain in all the forecast, some storms and hotter and more humid so we'll se how this plays out--I don't mind rain, but these storms arescary anymore.
I hope weather is good especially for u vacation people (Carole) comes to mind.
0 -
I promise to keep on living as though I expected to live forever. Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old only by deserting their ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul.
Douglas MacArthur0 -
I was surprised to find this quote from Douglas MacArthur....but I shouldn't be. Everyone is allowed to be profound -- ight Camille.
We had a long day today. I took dh to Marion, Il to the V.A. Hospital there. He needed to check on his back which has not been behaving very well. Started out early ( after a lot of work this a.m. here at home ) and true to form it ended up being an all day event. By the time you stop and get something to eat.......and we stopped at Swartz's roadside market......featuring lots of home/orchard grown blueberries, peaches, etc. They also have all sorts of fruit and fruit butters, jams, jellies, relishes, salsa....done up in jars to buy and bring home. I seldom can pass the orchard stand without wanting to stop and see what delicacy I might want to bring home with me.
Dh's back is mainly right now in need of a good anti-inflammatory which he got along with muscle relaxer and pain pills. Hopefully that will get him back on his feet until after he retires. I sure hope so. I do think there is a possibility that he may need some sort of surjury at some point....but gosh....he's 74 and it would be nice if he could avoid it too. We will see what the anti-inflammatory does.
Anyway.....that made me quite late today. Hope you all had a wonderful day.
Peace and love
Jackie
0 -
Well Miss Jackie--I had a lousy day-I'm in so much pain (and I do my excercises) that I want to scream OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO there that's better, I ave to go to PT tomorrow and they are going to see a crimpled up mess so let them worry about it and the worse part (cuz I'm doing it now) no one takes me that seriously about pain cuz I tend to laugh with it--maybe it helps me but it doesn't get my point across.LOL
I do hope u'r DH feels better ASAP--with no surgery.
An u managed to get some goodies too. Good for u;
0 -
Wow, quiet day here...Cami - it sounds like the time was right for your kids to return. Now, what about this pain....sorry to hear it's getting you down...I hope PT can get some of the kinks out.
Jackie, you are entitled to a late day now and then....sounds like you had a full day. I hope the anti-inflammatory drugs help to keep DH on his feet! I'm with you...I find certain farm stands and markets irresistible.
I have my annual mammo tomorrow (Tuesday)....hoping it's uneventful.
Off to sleep...don't have to get up early. YAY!0 -
Joan I hope u'r mammo is uneventful too.
Is everyone still sleeping--Usually I'm not the first one up. But that's OK I have to end up taking a nap anyway--I have a busy day so I won't be home til later today so it's fine. And Joan my pain is chronic and I'm just trying manage it- and I manage it with more pain hahaha and of course pain meds. LOL
I hope everyone has a nice days, I think we're supposed to get storms today, I don't like going out in storms anymore but it is what it is.
0 -
Each of us is a unique strand in the intricate web of life and here to make a contribution.
Deepak Chopra0 -
Camille.....I am taking you seriously. It is far easier at times I believe to not take someone seriously at times when they have a chronic condition. I will be the first to admit.....even I don't always SEE Dh's distress easily. I think it is how things are done.....for you, smiling/joking/laughing is what gets you through. For Dh he is something of a whiner -- nothing DESPERATELY wrong, but I often hear I am sore.
We all approach these things in a different way. I tend to not get excited about Dh since it is almost constant with him....and I learned long ago unless I really thoguht there was a change going on.....don't ask !!! He is the type to let you know whether you want to know or not.
So....your family just expects you will deal with it...in your way Camille is what I'm guessing. Maybe your family also hates the idea that you are in a lot of pain and they don't confront it easily because they don't know how to make it better for you.
Joan I sure hope your mammo goes well and you get boringly great results. There is always a bit of dread that I think will never really go away once we do them after a cancer dx. I remember how blase' they were for the long, long time I got them with nothing showing up.....to the point where I was really convinced nothing ever would. I did it just as an additon to my yearly physical from my Dr. I really didn't like having to go --- but I could count on for the longest time......being sent home rather happily with good results. Those days and that innocence are gone never to return I think. Lots of healing energy vibes being sent your way for results you can be thilled over.
Peace and love,
Jackie
0
