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NOLA in September?

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Comments

  • bdavis
    bdavis Member Posts: 3,192
    edited October 2013


    I re-read my post and it sounds like my husband is leaving me because of the cancer... That's not it. It was just a period that was especially difficult and to now know that he felt I didn't include him just breaks my heart. As far as my marriage ending, it is very very sad to me, and many things I don't understand. I love my husband and in many ways he loves me, just doesn't want to be married to me. After 26 years and two children, its heartbreaking.

  • Audrella
    Audrella Member Posts: 153
    edited October 2013


    Oh my gosh Besty :( I am so sorry. I've been thinking about you a lot lately as you've been missing from here :(

  • ttay
    ttay Member Posts: 83
    edited October 2013


    Betsy, I am so sorry about this. My heart goes out to you.


    TTay

  • Zenful
    Zenful Member Posts: 394
    edited October 2013


    Betsy, I am sorry you are going through this. I am sending loving thoughts your way, and will keep you in my prayers.

  • mags20487
    mags20487 Member Posts: 1,092
    edited October 2013


    big group hug with BETSY in the middle--we love you . My sil is going through the same thing after 34 years. My heart goes out to you both.


    Maggie

  • LuvSnow
    LuvSnow Member Posts: 138
    edited March 2014


    bdavis - oh wow, I am so, so very sorry to hear this; I feel so bad. I can't even imagine how difficult this is for you. Please focus on yourself, and keeping well. Like everything else, it will get easier in time, although at the moment I am sure it does not seem that way.


    Maggie - I had a hysterectomy in 2006. I had never had issues, but the last four years leading up to it were awful. It was at the point I would have extremely heavy "visits" for two weeks, then I would go 5-7 days, and then another "visit". The back pain and cramps were awful. Having the hysterectomy was one of the best things I have ever done. No regrets.


    As for NOLA, I am so looking forward to the "spa" :) Shoot, it seems like with work and kids the only "get aways" DH and I get are when I am admitted for surgery LOL. Poor guy.

  • Russell1
    Russell1 Member Posts: 413
    edited October 2013


    Betsy..I read that and my heart dropped. You have been such an inspiration to us and full of knowledge and support!!! Wishing you the better road ahead! You are so strong and will prevail!!!!

  • chellehump
    chellehump Member Posts: 374
    edited October 2013

    Hey there ladies

    I have read a few posts over the weeks, but please know that each and every one of you are in my daily thoughts and prayers!!!

    Betsy, I am so sorry!! I read your post too and my heart just sank. I know that sinking feeling you get when you think things are over and I am so sorry that is case for you and your husband :( Sending you hugs!!!

    Things have been very rough for me physically & mentally over the past few months. I guess with all the surgeries I've had and the complications I was having and just everything in general, it put a strain on my marriage & my life. I really just backed away from everything for awhile and needed to put all my concentration on getting me back on my feet and working on my family. My work was amazing through all this as they knew something was wrong with me physically & I wasn't my typical self. But, things are finally getting back to normal and I am accepting what I have to for now. I hope to make it back to the gym in a few weeks and start working out again slowly (I hope)!! I am just taking things day by day and remembering what's really important.

    On a bright note, I love my new smaller breasts and I am able to fit shirts that I could never wear before. I am officially a 34C :) On the lipo conversation, I am a little over a year out from my first stage 2 and I am noticing my thighs are smaller and I have received several compliments over the past month on how great I look. So ladies, keep the faith :)

    Maggie, thank you for thinking of me!!!! That means the world to me!!! I went to see a dermatologist about the injections and she said she wouldn't even think about doing them until I was at least 3 months out and would be better if it was 6 months. I am not giving up on that and I may refer to a plastic surgeon that was recommended and have a consult with him. He does DIEP flaps, so he may have a better idea of what's going on with my hip incisions.
    I am so sorry to hear about your female troubles. I have been there unfortunately :( I had several abdominal surgeries starting when I was a teenager due to severe endometriosis among other things and finally in October 2010 they took everything, I was 33. I don't miss that part of it at all!! I hope the results of your US are helpful and they can coordinate the surgeries for you!! Hugs to you!!!!

    Hugs XOXO

    Chelle (Michelle)

  • Jane123
    Jane123 Member Posts: 198
    edited October 2013


    Betsy, I am sorry for this heartbreakingly tough time. You have been such a help on this board and I am at a loss on how to help you. Like Mags said, Big Group Hug for You! Tamara

  • bdavis
    bdavis Member Posts: 3,192
    edited October 2013


    Thank you all.

  • klanders
    klanders Member Posts: 152
    edited October 2013


    thanks for being vulnerable and sharing, Betsy. Hugs and prayers headed your way.


    Add me to the list of ladies with fat necrosis! I've had some develop where Dr S added some fat in my stage 2. I'm done with surgeries so I guess I'll just live with this. We'll see what my oncologist says when I see her in November. She's already not going to like that I quit my tamoxifen. Oh well! Hopefully she won't make me get a biopsy.

  • cider8
    cider8 Member Posts: 472
    edited October 2013


    Betsy, all I can offer is a big virtual hug.

  • bdavis
    bdavis Member Posts: 3,192
    edited October 2013


    Paula... We can just hug each other... I think of you often

  • Downey30
    Downey30 Member Posts: 199
    edited October 2013


    Betsy, So sorry........thinking of you and all the help you have been. Sending strong vibes your way. Jamie

  • mags20487
    mags20487 Member Posts: 1,092
    edited October 2013


    had the US today and nada...nothing...no tumors, cysts, growths, or masses..so good news.. I guess my body is giving me a welcome back to womanhood party without sending me an invite. She said doc will call soon with the final results but all looks good. Also got to speak with the doc's MA today and she said to go ahead and see the surgeon on Friday to see if the lump in leftie needs to be biopsied. He will be the deciding factor as both my docs disagree on whether it should be done or not. I just hate having anyone touch these magical masterpieces on my chest besides DR M. I am so afraid they will mess them up. 6 weeks to stage 2b...got the consent forms today...whew...time flies when ur havin fun eh??


    chelle...so glad to hear from you. I am sorry for the ongoing problems with you too. I was told gap would be a piece of cake after diep and it just has not been the case for me ( or you ) we are all so different.


    continuing in a holding pattern for now until the docs agree that I am cleared for landing on runway done!


    Mags--thanks for always being there to all of you!

  • besa
    besa Member Posts: 289
    edited October 2013


    Betsy - Know that I am thinking of you. A virtual hug from me also.

  • toomuch
    toomuch Member Posts: 254
    edited October 2013


    Betsy - I saw this magnet today and thought of you. "They say that g-d doesn't give you more then he thinks you can handle. G-d must think that I'm a bad-ass." I'm sorry that you're going through this and I can only imagine the sadness. ((((hugs)))

  • Cherrie
    Cherrie Member Posts: 921
    edited October 2013


    Betsy- I am heart broken for you. I am so very sorry that your family is going through this. I wish I had the right words for you. ((((Hugs))))

  • m1970
    m1970 Member Posts: 261
    edited October 2013


    Betsy, I am so sorry to hear about your divorce. My divorce was a complete shock to me. I was with him 17 years. It's been 3.5 years and while my life has improved in many ways, it still hurts a little. None of us are prepared for the curve balls life throws at us, but somehow we find a way through as survivors. Not broken but stronger.


    The first three months were physically painful. I felt like someone was standing on my chest and I had terrible diarrhea every day. I could not breathe. After a while I started to feel lighter, and I started looking at the world with new eyes. Many paths opened up for me that I would never have imagined. I made new friends, I started new hobbies, finally got around to examining my faith and found a new spiritual home. And here facing cancer for the second time, on my own (really I was on my own the first time) the help I need has appeared. I'm still waiting to meet the new love of my life.


    Let me know if you want to talk. There are many things I did to help my recovery process.


    Sending you hugs (betsy)


    Marsha

  • bdavis
    bdavis Member Posts: 3,192
    edited October 2013


    I can't express my appreciation enough to all you wonderful, loving and supportive women. Thank you.

  • Stix
    Stix Member Posts: 610
    edited October 2013


    BDavis. No other words ... but that sucks. sorry to hear that. You are a strong woman. I know you will get through this and there will be brighter days ahead..... promise!

  • Lulu2012
    Lulu2012 Member Posts: 24
    edited October 2013


    Dear Chelle,


    It is so nice to hear you are back.


    I was worried for you as we had spoken a few times about you going to see Dr D for one more procedure and then I didn't hear back so I was concerned.


    I hope all is well and you are feeling strong and healthy. You mentioned something about hip incisions: may I ask what happened?


    If it is stubborn scar tissue can you perhaps get deep scar tissue massage done? I had it done quite soon after surgery and it helped? Then maybe you can also use ointments or something to help.


    I am here for you dear. Hang in there.


    Xoxo Lulu

  • Barbmal5
    Barbmal5 Member Posts: 76
    edited October 2013


    Betsy, so so sorry. Wish we all lived close by, I'd come over & give you a real hug.


    Klanders, just wondering, how do you know you have fat necrosis?


    Chelle, you are truly amazing. You continue to find the positive in all things. I'm glad you're on the mend. I think of you often.

  • LuvSnow
    LuvSnow Member Posts: 138
    edited March 2014


    Good morning ladies!


    So, I had my phone consult with Dr M last night. It was not exactly what I was expecting. She was so nice, but told me that she was not the surgeon for me :( She went on to say that I was "beautiful" and she loves my current volume (w/implants) and felt the best person for this job was Dr. Sullivan (?). She said he can do a hip flap/gap WITH a small implant (and that she does not work with implants). She said the implant would be in front of the muscle but behind the flap. So, she is forwarding all my info on, so I guess now I will wait for a call from his office.


    I was impressed that she recommended another surgeon, but I'll admit I was/am very disappointed. I'm still not 100% clear as to why she would not take me on if I am a flap candidate. Maybe I didn't have enough fat/skin? Once she told me this was not going to be the consult I expected I couldn't think of questions to ask - I was so disappointed. I really did not want a male PS surgeon, that's why I contacted Dr. M. So, this is consult #2 that has passed me over. I can't believe it. I guess I'll see what this other doctor has to say, but I'm starting to second guess my decision to do this.


    She did say she wanted to know when I have the surgery so that she can meet me if she is in NOLA, which I thought was so nice. I can't think of any doctor that would do that for someone that is not even their patient.

  • MartyJ
    MartyJ Member Posts: 819
    edited October 2013


    Mom - Dr. S was Dr M's co-surgeon during my DIEP. In many ways, he is a mentor to her and she loves to operate with him. She absolutely would not recommend another surgeon if she did not feel it was in your best interest. Although I never met him (I was asleep), everyone who has had surgery with him loves him and his work. You really, really won't go wrong with him. Surgery will be in the same wonderful hospital in NOLA, same highly trained and dedicated nurses.

  • LuvSnow
    LuvSnow Member Posts: 138
    edited March 2014


    Thanks MartyJ...I'm sure he is a great surgeon, as I have heard great things about all of the surgeons at NOLA. I really wanted a female, and am still not sold on the implants...I want them out. Maybe above the muscle is different? I don't know. And I'm still not sure why, if I'm an flap candidate, she felt she couldn't do the surgery.

  • LuvSnow
    LuvSnow Member Posts: 138
    edited March 2014


    Oh, and does anyone here have a hip flap AND an implant?

  • Cherrie
    Cherrie Member Posts: 921
    edited October 2013


    mom- Dr. S was my assisting surgeon and checked on me everyday at the hospital. Also, I had my post op with him. I liked him very much. He is a top notch surgeon who Dr. M looks up to. I am so sorry you were disappointed. You could email her to ask your question about why. At least you will know.

  • LuvSnow
    LuvSnow Member Posts: 138
    edited March 2014


    True Cherrie, I could email her. I just hate being a pest. I guess I'll wait and see what Dr S says. Hopefully I will hear from his office this week. He is my last shot in terms of having a flap done.

  • celtic_antique
    celtic_antique Member Posts: 351
    edited October 2013


    Hi, momof5 (and bless your heart!!) --


    I have had Dr. D. the entire journey, but I have met Dr. S many, many times, usually in the halls of the hospital checking on one of his patients. I find him so approachable, warm and he has the greatest smile. PLUS he is one of the two surgeons who started this whole FLAP thing and perfected it!! You can't go wrong -- though I understand the desire for a female surgeon, I wouldn't trade my experience with these two male surgeons for anything!! One of the reasons I found myself in NOLA was watching a video that Dr. S. did (it is on their website), speaking to a group of women about reconstruction options and, as I watched, I realized "He is a man, yet he GETS it!" That understanding approach to what women are experiencing and the particular sensitivity to it is what brought me to NOLA. (and the GREAT ladies here!) It was the luck of the draw that I got Dr. D. and I have to honestly say that I am so happy with all that has been done. Last revision coming on 11/13, and though I am not particularly looking forward to another surgery, I do look forward to the professionals at the SCSH!!


    Oh, I am a unilateral, and Dr. D. did discuss me having a small implant in the contralateral breast for symmetry, but the whole reason I went to NOLA was so I didn't have to have implants (foreign matter) in my body. Opted instead for a more rigorous surgery that had him putting what he called a "baby flap" in my natural breast. So, having a small implant with a flap isn't unheard of by any token and it would have been the easier route for both Dr. D. and me, but he completely understood my feelings -- in point of fact, that though we have only met a handful of times, he had already had that baby flap surgery vetted by my insurance as he was pretty sure he knew me well enough that it would be the one of three options he had laid out.


    And, I don't think ANY of these doctors would think you a pest if you had additional questions and contacted them. That's one of the things that sets them apart from all the rest. They GET it ... unlike many of the prima donna surgeons that I met at some of the most prestigious medical centers (including one diva who just totally blew me off after less than a 10 minute consult "I don't think you are a good candidate" Can you say "protecting our success ratio" much by cherry-picking?), these surgeons, including Dr. M. totally have broken the mold. They respect us and our journey as they seek to help us back on the road to life.


    Sorry, long rant I guess ... but Cherrie and MartyJ are right ... it's all good with these surgeons! And they work together so well ...


    Maggie1

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