Fill Out Your Profile to share more about you. Learn more...

MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Options
110571058106010621063

Comments

  • Cpeachymom
    Cpeachymom Member Posts: 249
    Options

    thanks Mainer! Age being relative really hits home when you’re in your 30’s and thrown into menopause! My DH jokes about how we want to grow old together, but not like this! SillyHeart

  • Tpralph
    Tpralph Member Posts: 281
    Options

    Congratulations oceanbum on your grandchild and cancerversary. I am also celebrating mine today. Year one

  • helenlouise
    helenlouise Member Posts: 363
    Options
    Hello, I fit into this age group and I am happy to participate. I am in my second round of BC and my second week of my first cycle of chemo. I have been going really well with few side effects but today (day 14) my hair has started to come out. Wow! Is that confronting. Just getting use to having cut short (16 days ago).

    Celebrating caneranniversaries and waiting for grandchildren to arrive sounds like fun!

    Good wishes to you all.

  • nativemainer
    nativemainer Member Posts: 7,828
    Options

    Peachy--I can't imagine being thrown into menopause in the 30's. It was bad enough in my 40's, and I was SO unhappy when it happened again, naturally, a year after I finished treatment!

    Tpralph--CONGRATULATIONS!

    Helenloluise--second time around? So NOT FAIR!

  • helenlouise
    helenlouise Member Posts: 363
    Options

    Yes nativemainer, second time. Almost made the 5 years clear from DCIS in 2013 & was discussing the efficacy of treatment for DCIS with my GP early December. Both agreeing that doing something was better than doing nothing. Then I found the lump, not 3 weeks later. Same breast with main tumour adjacent to scar from lumpectomies. Very interesting it is a new event not a reoccurrence, according to surgeon.

    Anyway I don't feel cheated or angry. I am ok just sometimes I get sad. Having been through diagnosis and treatment before I knew it was going to be a slow and frustrating process to get to treatment. So I am very glad that's done. My main concern was establishing I was less than stage IV which I am (IIB). All scans clear and an MRI confirming there is nothing in my head (ha ha)! I have triple negative and apparently it likes to go to the brain! Main point - a cure is possible!

    Its incredible to think we are in a forum that has been going for so many years with over a thousand posts. It is wonderful that technology enables us to be connected and provide support to each other.

    Looking forward to hearing more about your journeys and other stuff that makes us who we are.

    Wishing you all well X
  • nativemainer
    nativemainer Member Posts: 7,828
    Options

    Helenlouise--I'm so glad there is good, effective treatment available. And I am very grateful for the technology that lets so many of us be in touch and supportive to each other.

  • helenlouise
    helenlouise Member Posts: 363
    Options
    Hi again,

    Nativemaine, I note you had lumpectomies like I had and then a little while down the tract you had mastectomy. Can I ask why? The timelines don't make always make a clear read.

    Please don't feel obligated to share. No offence would be taken if you opt not to respond.

    I had lumpectomies first time round and with the second diagnosis I have been advised to have mastectomy.
  • nativemainer
    nativemainer Member Posts: 7,828
    Options

    helenlouise--I found a lump in my left breast, and mammogram found an abnormality in the my right breast during the work up. The right breast lumpectomy was actually an excisional biopsy as that turned out to not be cancer. I opted for lumpectomy/rads on the left breast. The radiation did so much damage that I had constant pain and constantly draining holes in the breast that would not heal, so I had a mastectomy. I was really lucky that the mastectomy relieved the pain (it wasn't expected to, as the pain was from nerve damage from the radiation). The mastectomy was about a year and a half after the lumpectomy, about a year after rads was finished.


  • Cpeachymom
    Cpeachymom Member Posts: 249
    Options

    wow Mainer, now I know why you said that about rads not being the “easy” treatment! I’m glad the surgery helped with your pain.

    Helenlouise- sorry that you’re going through round two with this beast. Makes me sad that we’re never in the clear. Best of luck.

  • helenlouise
    helenlouise Member Posts: 363
    Options
    Thanks for your replies. Wow! I had very little impact from radiation in 2013. Towards the end my breast looked like it was sunburnt but that was about it. I know how devastating radiation can be from the neck up but had not heard of that sort of damage to the breast. Sounds horrible. So sorry.

    It's really incredible how differently we react to the range of treatments. I really did expect to be much worse for wear before now. I know I have had treatment and have odd side effects but none that are really debilitating (as yet... Touch wood.... Fingers crossed).

    My hair has started to fall. Well not really fall but come out when I brush and if I grab some it will come out and I can see the roots. My oncologist said day 18. You will get a sore head and the next day you will have hair on your pillow and most will come out in the shower. Needless to say I won't be washing my hair tomorrow! I pick up my wig tomorrow but have a wedding Friday evening so would like my own hair for that - if I still have it. As soon as it gets scrappy I will ask my hairdresser to buzz cut it.

    When I get down about my hair, I try to remember it will grow back (hopefully). Much more concerned about losing my breasts but will leave worrying about that until surgery is closer.

    Hope you are all doing as good as can be expected.
  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 2,700
    Options

    Hope you still had all your hair and looked lovely for the wedding, AND had a great time, dancing all the young men under the table, helenlouise!

  • helenlouise
    helenlouise Member Posts: 363
    Options
    Hi tomboy, my hairdresser did my rapidly falling hair up, used gallon of spray made sure to leave the car widows closed on trip there. I felt good all dressed up and we had a lovely time with many old and some new friends. Didn't make the distance, watched but didn't dance, a bit wobbly on the feet at times. Loved the ceremony, enjoyed some of the feast and had a glass of bubbles!

    Next day my dear friend (hairdresser) took to my head with the clippers. We debated over leaving some length but in the end I asked to to make it zero. Even with a two I could still pull tufts out. The less left, the less to clean up. I don't like being bald so far. My head is tender and my brand new wig hurts if I wear it too long. Have learned to wrap a scarf. Went to local fabric store and bought some jersey in different colours. Much more comfortable for chemo days.

    Had second dose of chemo today and was assured the soreness will pass. Especially once all the follicles have given up the remaining hair. Plus my wig will stretch some with Jee.

    I keep reminding myself that in the scheme of things, it is only hair. Lots more challenges yet to come and hair won't be the worst. Trying to think of the upside.

    Hope everyone's going along as well as can be expected! Sending good vibes your way.
  • helenlouise
    helenlouise Member Posts: 363
    Options
    Ps. David Bowie is a favourite. Saw an exhibition a couple years back, with lots of the costumes and memorabilia. It was interactive and amazing.
  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 2,845
    Options

    Helenlouise, the last step in the hair loss is very annoying. I finally took a dry washcloth and rubbed the remaining stubble off my head. Never did find a way to deal with the wig, so I wore scarves, hats etc.

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,129
    Options

    The wedding sounds lovely.

    I wore mostly BUFFS. They were soft and easy to slip on. I found them at REI or Academy. http://buffusa.com/shop-buff/women/multifunctional... I still tie one to my purse when I go to concerts & expect my head or neck to be cold, and I use them when I'm walking. At night I wore jersey caps.

  • moth
    moth Member Posts: 3,293
    Options

    I'm really loving my bald head right now. At moments I wonder if I'll be able to go back - holy cow is it fast to get ready when you don't have to fuss with hair :D

    My family also say it lends a certain gravitas to my appearance. Everything I say now apparently sounds wise LOL

  • mistyeyes
    mistyeyes Member Posts: 572
    Options

    Moth! I love you!!   You are so right, I got ready for work so fast without hair and showers were so fast I felt sometimes I wasn't in there long enough.  My hair is growing and I don't know what to do with it - I wake up looking like I was shocked and have a mini afro going on, so I have to wet it down and put stuff on it to keep it down.    Go on with the wise sayings while you got the attention!


  • helenlouise
    helenlouise Member Posts: 363
    Options

    Big smiles ladies! Thank you. I must admit yesterday I did note the 'nothing to do with the hair' sped getting ready right up. Thanks for the practical tips. May even take on asage persona once the (you look like you have cancer or just got outa jail) stubble is gone!

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 2,845
    Options

    Having no hair definitely has advantages, and I didn't even mind how it looked. Always wanted to get a henna tattoo on my bald head, but never got it done. A friend of mine did and it looked fab. Not having eyebrows did get to me sometimes, but they eventually grew back.

  • Deb_Z
    Deb_Z Member Posts: 3
    Options

    Thank you for starting this group, as I am 60(ish) and with reading all the other postings, it was helpful but as an older woman some of the issues just don't fit. I was dx in Dec 2017 with IDC on the left side. Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right removal (6) left in January 2018. The doctors don't feel radiation is necessary but Chemo is with TCHP. Had my first treatment last month and boy I sure was not prepared for the side affects. (On this I do have to say is we found out I also have kidney stones). Trying to figure out if all the side affects were actually from the chemo or a combination of both. I am not having reconstruction as my thought process is that "if all you are worried about is my breasts then you can kick rocks". I am getting ready for my next infusion here in a a couple of days, sorta scared but thinking that it was the stones that made me so sick. But I feel deep inside me that "God has a plan for me and its here on earth and the devil doesn't want to deal with me". As I was a single mum of 4 boys and my second son has been my rock. He is quite leary of most medical and he has sat with me thru the surgeries and the infusion, he told me that I will walk this with you as you were there when we were all little so I will be with you thru this and what else there is.

    Enjoy your day

    Deb

  • mistyeyes
    mistyeyes Member Posts: 572
    Options

    Deb, I hope you do well through the rest of the treatments. I also had TCHP, some side effects but was mostly tired.  My side effects was neuropathy on my hands and my mouth hurt.  I rinsed my mouth with salt/baking soda water and ate lots of popsicles.   Your son sounds like he has a beautiful heart to want to be there with you.


  • Egads007
    Egads007 Member Posts: 474
    Options

    Moth,

    There are days that I actually miss the carefree, out-the-door in record time bald/brush cut hair doo. Like you my family also said it lent a certain ‘wise old soul’ edge to my ‘new normal’ look.

    Then my 10 year old nephew totally blew my gravitas by saying ‘yeah, you kinda look like Yoda, he was wise!’. Out of the mouths of babes *sigh*

    WinkingLoopy

  • nativemainer
    nativemainer Member Posts: 7,828
    Options

    Deb_Z--what a wonderful and compassionate son you have raised. Now that your treatment team knows you have kidney stones they can adjust for that and help make sure it doesn't create a problem again.

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,129
    Options

    Hi Middies - I'm here to admit a new addiction. OH NO. I've switched from CHEETOS to CHEEZ-ITs.

    I'm not sure which is better or worse for you, but a box Cheez-its doesn't last any longer than a big bag of Cheetos used to last. Edited to say, since I only ate original Cheetos (not baked for heaven's sakes), maybe the crackers are healthier?

    Hope all the middies are well & thriving.

  • capecodgirl
    capecodgirl Member Posts: 93
    Options

    Cheeze-it’s has an extra toasty version that is pretty good

  • nativemainer
    nativemainer Member Posts: 7,828
    Options

    MinusTwo--One of the advantages of Cheez-Its is the lack of orange dust on the fingers and mouth--harder to get caught with them!

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,129
    Options

    LOL - NM. It also made it easier to finish the half full box that was on the cupboard last night since I didn't have to keep reaching for a napkin. And you can lick the crumbs off your fingers w/o transferring orange to the book you're reading when you turn the page.

  • miranda2060
    miranda2060 Member Posts: 207
    Options

    Hi ladies ~

    I have just discovered this thread. I am 56 (57 next week) and was diagnosed just after the first of this year. Two tumors, different types, right mastectomy in January, six weeks of radiation, and now on aromatase inhibitors. I will be having another surgery (sigh) at the end of September to even out my breast/implanted breast asymmetry and remove scar tissue from rads. Not looking forward to that, but hopefully things will eventually look and feel good.

    I feel I have learned a LOT from my cancer experience, had insights I never would have had and met wonderful people (as well as lost some friends). I'm married to a wonderful man who's very supportive, no kids. I'm a writer and a photographer (the latter not professionally, but obsessively).

    Looking forward to sharing with you.


  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,129
    Options

    Miranda - thanks for posting. Unfortunately this thread is mostly inactive. I'm a bit older so can't suggest a replacement, but hopefully some one else will chime in.

  • moth
    moth Member Posts: 3,293
    Options

    Hi Miranda, nice to meet you!