MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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Why does my mother question everything I do? I just moved closer last spring after my father passed. I know I should appreciate very moment with her because she's 80. Deep breaths!
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Banjo-Welcome to our lovely world--we try to have a little fun--while still being there for each other when times are tough!
Eli and Beckers--I had my DIEP June 4, two weeks ago I had my stage 2. So I'm actually 2 months ahead. Still a little sore from the touch up surgery but light years ahead of where I was a couple of months ago. Getting there s-l-o-w-l-y.
Sherry--did you say 5 AM??? You are a far better woman than me. . .
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Beckers, it's fine to vent in here about Mom ... I think we all agree that we appreciate life and know to cherish our own and the people in our lives. But - and that's a huge but - aging parents can try our patience like nothing else. We won't think you're a horrible daughter if you gripe about Mom now and then
cmb, glad you're starting to feel better hon.
sherry, you put me to shame! I'm up at 5:40 for work...no way am I willing to give up any more morning sleep to work out. Of course, then I'm too tired after work too, and I know I have to do something!
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5 am helps that I have two friends that go to the gym at 5am as well, plus the physical trainer is a cutie 25 year old. He thinks we are all a riot! We try to keep him staight on which girls to date and which to avoid.
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Beckers, my mom's like that, too! She stays 30 minutes away but always calls on the cell asking where i am, what im doing. Im like, im in the store, mom, then she's like, what are you buying there? Sometimes she stays with me and always always keeps time of how long im out, even if im with DH!!!!
I know she loves me and would gladly give her life for me, but it doesnt work that way.
No rads even with the IDC breast? Me too.0 -
Bcbarbie, I did not have rads on either because I decided on the BMX. I'm also fortunate that I didn't need to have chemo because my Oncotype score was 19. I'm >98% ER posetive so hormone therapy is next. I see the onc tomorrow.
I feel guilty getting irritated with my Mom but I had DIEP surgery and she's all.......stand up straight..... Why do you keep adjusting ab binder....why is your stomach still swollen...why are you so tired....why didn't you sleep....why don't you come over....why don't you just take a half a vicodin at bedtime instead of a whole one? Oh my!!!!0 -
Hi ladies! I've been "off-line" for a while....just got moved into our new home and unpacking etc. I saw my PS yesterday and verified my DIEP surgery will be Nov 9th. Im curious though....I'm having my left boob removed prophylactically (sp?) but now I'm told I need to have a mammogram on that breast before surgery. WHY???? The PS and assistant really didn't answer other than its been long enough since that breast had a mammogram (December 2011). I'm wondering if there is anything in that breast now....will that prevent me from having the DIEP? and I'm told that they do a pathology on the removed breast anyway. Seems like a waste of time and money to me....plus its making me a little nervous
I see my MO on Thursday for the results of my last CT scan....good thoughts requested for that. Thanks!
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Beckers....I feel for you! My mom is 82 and she is both my strongest ally AND my greatest critic!!! Love her to pieces and I don't want to lose her, but she drives me NUTS sometimes!
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I gotta stop talking smack about momma! She ended up in ER today and suddenly I wanted to talk to her so bad when she was unaccessible. She was very dehydrated from her lasix pills and her BP went very low. Heavy sigh.... My dad died last March right when I got diagnosed so we've all just been a mess.
My hubby's packing to go back to our Oklahoma house in the am so I am definitely a mess. On my way to PS though so I gotta pull it together.
Pray I can find my big girl pants somewhere. I feel so sad but I gotta be strong. :-/
Thanks for listening.0 -
I'm praying for you and your mom, Beckers! "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy and with my song I praise him." Psalm 28: 6-8
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Chacha, we'll jump in your pockets tomorrow for the visit with MO. I'd definitely ask more about the mammo, could be there's a very good reason for it and that it would affect surgery, but you're still entitled to know. I hope others may answer that one ... I wasn't in that type situation, so I don't have firsthand info.
Beckers, accept that you're human and you're allowed to love Mom while she drives you nuts
I hope she's out of the hospital as soon as possible so the two of you can have a good talk. Hope hub doesn't have to stay long in OK and gets back to you safely.Hugs all
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Thanks for prayers and well wishes. Mom is on way home. Still can't stand very well as her legs are weak.
Jill, they did mammo on my other side and they found calcifications, which ended up being DCIS. So, I also had a sentinel node biopsy on that side as well. I couldn't imagine that it would delay your surgery. I wonder if it is standard so they know if they should do SN biopsy because once the breast is gone, that will no longer be an option. Just my two cents. I see you are from Rancho. I used to live off Baseline and Cherry in No. Fontana.0 -
Beckers, im glad your mom's better. Having ageing parents is tough. Sometimes i look at people in church and wonder how many if us deal with them. Always, always i pray for my mom's health. But she's so stubborn. I want to run to her and hug her and run away from her all at the same time.
Maybe a part of me just feels guilty she's still the one looking out for me when at this point it should be the other way around.0 -
Chacha, I had a prophy removal of my left breast at the same time they removed the diseased right one. Before surgery, they did a careful ultrasound of the "good" breast and marked it up where there was anything unusual at all. It was to guide the surgeon as to which sections ought to be biopsied. They also took the sentinel node, just to be sure.
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Bcbarbie, I think they never lose the instinct to mother. My Mom showed up every day of the first 5 or so that I was home after surgery. I tell my Mom she's so critical but to her she's "Still a Mom" --- as she tells me. I'm sure your Mom would do whatever she is able to help you. Once a Mom, always a Mom I suppose.
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Chachamom, Hopefully you will be all settled in before your surgery. Not sure why they want to mammo you, but what Momine says about the ultrasound makes sense. Could be for the same purpose. Good Luck tomorrow on the CT results.
Beckers, I'm glad to hear your mom did not have to stay in the hospital long.
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Thanks everyone for the encouragement! My MO appt went well today! My CT scan showed no "changes" on the lesions they've been monitoring. I asked how often this would have to be done and she said I'd need another followup CT in 6 months....but possibly no more after that if it remains stable. YEAH! I asked her about the mammogram and Beckers and Momine YOU win the prize!!! She said if anything is found they might do a sentinal node biopsy....but likely all will be clear.
So.....pocket party please for Monday's mammogram. I didn't think a mammo would be such a big deal.....but I'm looking foward to when BOTH boobs are gone and replaced with the Belly boobs! lol!
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Chacha, I'm so happy for your good news
I'll definitely be in your pockets for Monday ... it'll give me somewhere to hide on my least favorite day of the week.A little out of the ordinary, but if those of you so inclined would say a prayer for my daughter ... she's due any day with our first grandchild. She's had a great pregnancy, so no special reason for the prayer request...just a nervous mother wanting everything to go well for Shannon and their baby. Thanks!
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marlegal, How exciting, the first grandbaby due anyday! Will you be at the birth?0
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NEED TO KNOW --- Am I the only one this is happening to?
When I post, I get the perpetual "connecting" signal, and it never connects to the page where my new post should be. But if I go back and enter this thread again, sure enoughm there is my new post. Anyone else get this?
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I had my surgery pretty soon after my diagnosis and at the time of surgery there was no markup, xrays, or anything day of surgery. I had a cancer side and an okay side, both were heavily gone over after surgery. It is facinating how different everyone's experience is.
What is a pocket party?
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It's happening to me to Elimar but eventually posts it.
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Chacha - count me in on the pocket party! We'll be there to wish you all the best and to make sure that everything goes well for you.
Kd - a pocketparty is a virtual party where we all "jump in the pockets" of someone who is having scans, tests, surgery etc for company & support. No one has to go it alone here. Snacks and drinks are encouraged (there will always be cheetos) as there are no calories to worry about. Anyone can request a pocket party (PP).
marlegal - very excited for you on the arrival of your first grandchild. Praying for a safe arrival and that you will soon be spoiling him/her to no end.
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Barsco1963, That is the best description of a Pocket Party so far, especially the "No one has to go it alone here" part.
I just wanted to get in a final post about that IPL laser procedure I had done for my mammo-caused broken blood vessels (petechia) on my rads-side breast. It's now two and a half weeks later...what had been bruisy, purplish spots have now faded to blotches of pale pink that are definitely better than the reds dots, and which could easily be covered with body make-up if I decide to pole-dance or anything. I think, and hope, they will totally fade to nothingness in a few more weeks. Even tho' it was just for my personal vanity, I am happy to have spent $50 to have this procedure. I have my scar as a reminder, I didn't need extra spots.
I may not have to get any more red dots, since my breast center is supposedly getting ultrasound screenings within the next year. Gimme some o' that!
p.s. Beckers, I waited over a minute on this post and it did finally "connect" to the page with the new post.
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Elimar you crack me up!!! (pole dancing
) I've had the same issue with posting....if I leave the thread and come back, the post is there....but if I wait for the post it doesn't happen for (yawn) ever!Thanks for the pocket party on Monday! I'll wear big pockets so there will be plenty of room for margaritas and mariaches!
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Marlegal, just wait until you hold your first grandchild!!!!! It's just surreal!!
Here is a pic of me holding Zach who is now two!! My daughter had an emergency C-section while in labour. We weren't called until a couple hours after he was born.
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Eli, thanks for the good wishes. Yes, unless the baby comes really quickly, I will be there with dd
And all posts seem to be taking forever to go through, I've noticed that too. Resulted in a lot of people double-triple posting 'cause they thought it wasn't going through. NOTE TO ALL - watch the status bar at the bottom - take a walk - it will post!! And I literally laughed out loud about the pole dancing!! So happy the procedure was worth it. I didn't have that particular problem, but I'm sure many have and by telling us about this, you are - as usual - helping a lot of people.Barsco, thanks - I can't wait to shop for this child - they didn't want to find out the baby's sex ahead of time, so I'm holding off my first mega shopping trip!!
Barbe, what a picture that is! I love it - and I cannot wait to post a similar one
I laugh at dd's "plans" about when she'll let me know she's in labor. She's a thoroughly modern millie - thinks that by reading enough, she'll be prepared. I've done my mother's best to not let her know that babies don't read the same books. She'll learn, just like we all do We're only 40 minutes away, unless I'm at work when things happen. I'm parking my ass at the hospital as soon as she has a labor pain. I'll be there before her, no doubt 0 -
Pole dancing---such a visual in my head!!!
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How do you put pics in posts?
Who's pole dancing? :-). Pretty sure I would slide down on my head!0 -
Stop with the pole dancing! I keep getting an image of myself, dancing on a pole with no tits and the picture is cracking me up (yes, ok, my humor is a bit strange).
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