I know I cant be the only lesbian out here?
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Hi all,
The Variety Show was good. It's a way too long story about how I got involved in the chorus part of it, but to make a long story shorter, a friend in the chorus was supposed to do it. She got permission from the Board, and sent in the money, and then went to Oregon for a week and sent me an email asking me to "work my majic". It was two days before I was able to answer her letter without giving her a great big angry answer. I simply told her that I was working 3 jobs and did not have the time to put this together, and that I would send a letter to the membership asking for help and was not able to do much more. Thankfully a few people stepped up and it went off ok. But I shouldn't have had to do it at all, I didn't volunteer for it. And then when she got back from her trip she got sick and wasn't even AT the event tonight.
No rest for me today, and now it's almost 3AM so my sleep will be screwed up. Oh well.
I don't know how y'all put up with me, seems like all I do here is whine. I should ask for some cheese to go with my whine. But you know what? It's the only place I *do* whine. I'm supposed to be cheerful and positive and all that shyt in real life. Can't have a cancer patient have a bad day or something, we must always be positive...
Ok, so my positive note for the day is that we had this terrible snow event (lake effect snow) and the drive home from the variety show was horrible, but my car, my trusty Saturn, got me through it and safely into the garage. So I got home safely and was able to come here and whine, LOL!
Off to bed with my whiny self... thanks, everyone.
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JJ, You know I don't believe all that crap about cancer patients being positive, didn't believe that shit before I got diagnosed. Are you afraid someone won't want to be around you if you aren't supper human doing for everyone else? If all someone likes about you is what you can do for them then they don't realy like you cause others can do that crap for them too. You can whine here all you want and I'm sorry if I seem a little pissy about what you have on your plate but I'm all about you getting the better end of things, could care less about what the other healthy folks want or do. Sit down and write all the things down that you do for yourself and others. Look at it and ask if you would want someone you care about to have that load on them in your current situation. Think about what you would do for that person you care about to make others responsible for their own stuff. You are worth alot more than what you can do for others. kris
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Hello everyone out there!
I am just doing my part trying to revive this thread, it won't be easy though, we are all leading pretty busy lives but we can do this!
Something else I learned, don’t make someone or something your everything when to them you are just an option.” Move forward, life’s to short.
THANK YOU Chainsawz, GML, Dee1961,Navygirl, Cindoe, Raili, Bookart, Stillhere663 and the one and only Mazy1959, who didn’t even know me but attempted to ease my fears, answer all my stupid questions and knitted me a blanket when I was going through treatment (and sent it via snail mail) She is one beautiful, caring soul. It meant so much to me, I think I thanked her 131 times.
I hope everyone is holding onto hope and moving forward every day, I thank the Goddess above for Breastcancer.org.
What a rant! Wishing everyone a healthier 2013!!!
CS
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Cancersucks, thanks for popping in on your own thread, glad to hear you are still around after 11 months. From what I have read and been told Boston has an incredible LGBT support community (physical one) for persons dealing with medical issues, wish the rest of us had 1/10 the resources. We are trying to keep your thread active so that those newly diagnosed will see some life here as in a post of some sorts within the past couple of days. To some this might be all they have. Feel free to post more frequently even though you have gone on with your life as we all have, we do have insight to the world we wish no one had to visit and our support at times is more comforting than that of persons that haven't been through the same stuff. A few of us have had minimal treatment either by diagnosis or by choice and a few of us have had alot of treatment by same. Either way one of us can add a calming perspective and I wish the womyn that you mentioned would pop in occasionally if to just say "hi, got nothing today". Hope everyone enjoyed the Bowl halftime show, I know everyone around me did. Kris
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Ok first chemo done. They started me on a/c every two weeks. Blech!! Seems I'm not going to miss any side affects. Lol. I'm still in dis belief this is happening to me. But my friend Elaine believes because I projectile vomited all over her car. Can I say support network. (she's still giving me rides lol ). But I am seriously hating this. And the journey begins.
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Hi Ellijean,
Glad you got the first one over with, sorry you are being hit hard with SE's. I had taxotere/cytoxan so probably very different from you, but I used biotene mouthwash alot and stayed as hydrated as I could (I also found that ginger candy helped with nausea). Hopefully you have time to rest and ride it out at home. Thinking of ya! anne
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I was just reading that nuelasta can cause mouth sores as well. And how about rls. Im trying to find out what medicine is making it worse. Any thoughts
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Elliejdan, I had a/c but didn't get a nuelasta shot after any of them. What I did do to try to keep mouth sores down was eat ice chips for 5 minutes before treatment, during treatment and then for 5 minutes after. The infusion nurses told me to do it. I also made sure I didn't eat anything spicy or overly warm. I rinsed every morning with the baking soda, salt solution that is sugested by the cancer society. I didn't develop any mouth sores but one of my teeth chipped while in chemo. Vomitting could cause mouth sores because of stomach acid. They will tell you everyone is different and in a sense that is true but I think it is more applicable to the degree we have the side effects. I hope this helps. Kris P.S. I hope you puked on the outside of your friends car and not the inside. What do you think about that red pee for a couple of days after infussion? Drink water or any other liquid you can and do it even when you don't want to. the worse thing you can do is get dehydrated.
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Thank you Mutt, I will try to check in from time to time, I never stray to far away. It's nice to meet you in that" I wish I met you somewhere else kinda way."...but were here, good advice.
Ellie Jean, the mix I had was AC as well, the emends pill worked wonders on any bouts of potential wooziness.
AC accumulates but it also kicks ass. It's not an easy thing to go through, the hardest days for me were the 3rd and 4th day after chemo and then being on that steroid. Thank God for Ambien.
Hang in there you will get through this, a better day awaits!
Think about a nice summer's night, sitting on a beach wall, feeling the breeze on your face, as you look up at the stars. I've had moments like these, I let myself sink into them now, but before I would let my mind drift off to all my troubles.
Hang in there everyone, be in the moment.
CS
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Elliejdan - SUCKS doesn't it. I had AC every 2 weeks, had every side effect in the book. At least I didn't have many mouth sores. There was one on my tongue that I swear looked just as if I had taken Dremel to it. I don't understand why Magic Mouthwash works, but it did help.
RLS - did you mean restless legs? Benadryl will make it worse. Antinausea medicines in the family of Phenergan and Compazine will make it worse. Are you taking any of those? I had such horrible nausea during AC that I was taking Phenergan around the clock along with Zofran, along with Emend, and also Ativan, but I didn't have RLS problems, I think because the Ativan has some beneficial effect on it. When I did Taxol, I got Benadryl in the premeds and would end up basically doped to sleep with my legs wiggling on the end of the recliner. It wasn't so terrible because I was so out of it.
Cancersucks - I'm in a much smaller city than Boston. I tried a breast cancer support group and just felt out of place. Then I went to a plain old any kind of cancer support group and it was such a better fit. There's something about everybody being different that made the sameness more obvious to me. Helped that there were a couple other lesbians in the group, but it really was very mixed. I got to a place where I didn't feel like I needed to go anymore, so I don't, but it was a good thing for me.
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Lol nope all over the door. Thankfully her gf is a cancer nurse and reminded her how toxic it is.yes I had Red pee for two days the joys of it all!! I'm waiting with baited breath for the next round lol. But I'm staying busy which seems to be the cure for the nagging anxiety
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Hi Outfield,
We're bracing for a big storm here in Boston, where are you from, you mentioned "small town?" The breast cancer support group I went to was at Dana Farber, it was supportive but I did feel out of place, I kinda look gay, can't shake the look. All of the women were straight, most of them were married with the same resonating concern regarding what their husbands would think about the ordeal they were about to go through, chemo, radiation, to reconstruct or not?
My mind always went back to the same thoughts; you have cancer, who cares what he thinks, they are two lumps of flesh, try to survive at any cost and do what is ultimately, hopefully going to save your life." I never voiced my opinion but I might have been doing the RCA dog head tilt when I heard this popular concern, because I always wanted to ask them, what about you, what's best for you, what decision can you live with and be at peace with?
As I was going through it, I thought of starting my own support group for gay women going through any form of cancer because even in Boston, this big huge, overpopulated, diverse city, cancer, can be a very lonely, isolating experience.
I'm sincerely not kidding when I say that Breastcancer.org and the women that have been through hell and back with this disease (straight and gay) helped me immensely. They were there in the middle of the night in the chat room, when I couldn't get the fear of dying out of my mind, I am forever grateful for them, whatever happens, and that's why I never stray to far from BC.org
I'm always still up for starting that support group for gay women and men, for anyone who is going through cancer.or if anyone ever has any questions about treatment, I don't know all the answers, but I can share what helped me through, it really is just one day at a time.
Peace,
CS
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Elliejdan, I'm jealous of your support system. Puts a whole new twist of friends with benifits, a good friend whose gf is a cancer nurse. I wonder what this crap does to car paint? I secretly think the ribbon is pink because of the two day after effects of A/C. Glad you are starting this mess with a since of humor.
Cancersucks, Your post lifted my spirits, to here you are still doing well and also that we are all kinda dealing with women that are more worried about what their husbands think than their own well being. Think thats a common thread but straight guys do put alot of weight on the two hunks of fat on womens chest. I'm really gay looking and was before this but I have straight guys responding to me like I'm a man now just because I don't have the small Bs on the front of me. Its a strange world. Meeting new womyn that I now have to figure out when and what to tell them, its winter so the heavy clothes are masking my lack of breasts and the fact that I have compression sleeves on most of the time. Dating at 50 is tough enough without this variable.
Jj, Hope you aren't getting slammed by the snow and have no ice. Have things calmed down a little in your life? Sorry for the "Take Care of Yourself" rant. I have to have someone do that to me every once in a while so I have a tendancy to do it to others that appear to be picking up the slack for the rest of the world. I've decided that lazy irresponsible people don't get cancer, most of us are the ones that do the stuff no one else feels is their responsibility to do.
Anne, everytime I feel like I'm getting overwhelmed I have the visual of you on the canoe in the ocean with calm quiet fog all around and then the starters pistol and everyone is off.
Hope everyone is doing ok.
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CS,
I'm out in the SW in a city of less than a million. We have no major cancer center here, but it's a very live and let-live environment, and I have felt totally comfortable being out. There's not a sense of a lesbian community like other places I've lived, but there are a lot of out lesbians are everywhere just living their lives.
I honestly can't think of a time other than the cancer treatment when I felt like people here were trying to force me to be someone I'm not. There was one point when I was just losing it during radiation and was crying to this social worker at the center, and a woman from "Look Good, Feel Better" kept coming into the room to get supplies for her session. Here I am crying because I know I'm causing horrible damage to my body, and the SW apologizes for the LGFB interruption then suggests I do the program. If you don't know it, it's a lot of makeup tips for being bald. I had to say "I'm a kind of butch lesbian, I don't understand that kind of stuff." Maybe she assumed I wouldn't look as butch if I just had my hair, I don't know. But I do. Or did. One of the odd, odd results of cancer and being flat chested is that my massive shoulders fit better into women's clothes and I'm dressing a bit femmier. But I would still be dumbfounded if anyone talking to me face-to-face would think I might want to go to a makeup class.
It just seemed so wrong - here I am with a locally advanced cancer, afraid I'm going to die young and leave me kids, afraid of the bad stuff that was happening to my axilla - and a SW and so much patient ed materials focus on my appearance and how I can fool people into thinking I still have my natural two "lumps of flesh."
My second (first was a brief experience in a BC group similar to yours) support group did have another lesbian BC patient, and we got to be friends. There were also people with brain tumors, colon cancer, lung cancer, prostate, lymphoma - a whole bunch of things. There were a few caregivers whose loved ones refused to come. By being so all-inclusive the discussions didn't center around things like missing breasts or colostomy troubles - they were much more along the lines of fear of leaving our kids, frustration at loss of sex drive, figuring out how to live with the uncertainty, accepting that we were never guaranteed anything in life. I heard the term "mortality virginity" there and loved it - cancer does take away that delusion that we don't even know we have until we're diagnosed and realize we have a disease that might kill us young.
I too benefited hugely from these boards. Most threads I've followed out of interest, but when I first noticed my lymphedema and was totally panicked about it, the lymphedema board here was a godsend. It's a busy board, and there are some regulars who really help it function like a staffed hot-line. There are always people like me who post having just had an arm swell, and they always get some good answers quickly. I try to post there and on the Stage III boards from time to time. I think of it as staffing the call center. In general, I'm trying to spend less time on the boards and more time focusing on my life (in truth, the "Rant" thread on the Living without Reconstruction boards keeps me coming back). I really like the idea of keeping this thread active. Reading these recent posts makes me realize that if I'm just quietly lurking, looking for action on it, I'm perpetuating the impression that I got when I first checked out these boards that everyone was gone from it.
Long post!
I hope you all are well tonight.
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Hello all!
Home today with a migraine, but it seems to be running its course and I am thankful for that.
I come to bc.org because the only support groups around here meet once a month. Once a month? What if I want to talk about something in between? What if i need some reassurance? I went to one meeting and never went back, I felt so out of place. I've not met anyone here at bc.org that seems to care if I am lesbian or not and I can seach the forums for what I need any time I need to.
I seem to finally be calming down from my recent scare. I am grateful.
Now, if anyone has any good advice for getting a teenager off his butt and get a job, I'd be thankful. I'm working three jobs right now and would love to take it down to two, LOL!
I am so grateful that this thread is slowly coming alive again.
Sleepy. Bed time. Night all... and hugs to all of you!
JJ
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Outfield, you were one of the ones that helped me head towards the lymphedema thread when I first joined here. Look Good Feel Good is a load of Focking Shet! They still ask me if I'm going to those things at the support group. I have never done drag but part of me wants to show up to one of those things as a drag king. I think it makes those that have never had cancer feel like they are doing something for women with that stuff. Think there is one for the guys with prostate cancer, there isn't.
JJ, hope you get past the migraine. I left home a week after I graduated highschool so my motivation to work was always there. Liked eating, having a roof over my head and gas in the car (car I bought while I worked in highschool). Couldn't usually take care of all those things every month but had to work to try. I have no idea how you get someone to put up with the crud I had to if they don't have to provide those things for themselves. Good luck.
I found an actual support group about 2 weeks after I finished my last round of rads. I was a mess. Gilda's Club had just started the october before but didn't have any groups meeting untill the middle of march. Was in the first wellness group in the KC organization. We have all different types of cancer, mostly straight but another lesbian and a gay man have been members of the group I'm in. This group meets once a week with the option to meet for Pot Luck supper before the group meets. Pot luck gives those who can do the ability to help those who cant by cooking and bringing food plus there aren't any rules about what we talk about while we are eating. My group has actually exchanged phone and email info just incase someone needs to talk or is having a health issue inbetween the group times. We circle the wagons well when someone needs help. I am fortunate that the organization exists and that I have access to it. I do feel a comraderie (sure that isn't spelled right) with you womyn that I don't feel with them, I don't feel like I have to explain anything to you guys and I don't have to sit through conversations about how ackward heterosexual sex is after cancer.
Because we can't actually meet in a group I try to check in here just in case. Don't know how much I can help at any given time but sometimes its the fact that someone does want to try that matters. I love you guys for getting this going again and no lesbian right now has to try to find this only to see the last post is 6 months old.
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Hi All,
I think it is great you are keeping this open. For me, with regards to BCO, when I was first diagnosed my identification as a lesbian became subordinate to my identification as a triple negative chemo patient and someone who chose BMX, etc. I am still very interested in the thread Outfield mentioned, because there are great discussions about gender and other social constructs, and how women who do not necessarily conform to expectations about the "feminine" form are received in the world. I got great support on the other threads in general, but sometimes I think some connections did not develop as fully as they could because people are wary (rightly) of internet relationships in general and I think being a lesbian is even more threatening to some women than being a heterosexual male: often same-sex relationships are portrayed as sexual without regard for the bulk of what they really are (commitment, paying bills, taking care of each other when sick, etc.), so some women think of us in strictly sexual terms and assume that if we are interested in them that it must be sexual (we are one dimensional). Or, if they are talking about sex and I chime in, my talking about it is "in your face" or a political act. I think it is really hard to explain to heterosexuals what heterosexism is...I think one quote says it pretty well, "you can hardly expect a fish to be the one to discover water." I served in the Air Force under Don't Ask Don't Tell for 20 years, and my partner served with me (as an unrecognized military spouse) for 17 of those years. I remember all the arguments about "why do people need to hear about what you do in the privacy of your own home, I'll stay out of your bedroom, you stay out of mine', blah blah blah...and it all goes back to that reductionism. The fact that my partner was not allowed to exist in the context of my military identity (I deployed 5 times and she did not have access to support) or that when people were talking about what they were doing for the weekend, I often could not participate (it is my anniversary, anyone know a good restaurant?) completely escaped them. It is the everyday things like forms at the doctor's that have no spot for my partner that that make the world so oppressively heterosexual sometimes, in my experience. Anyway, that was my rant. It is nice to know that there are a group of you out here that I can count on not to "reduce" me in that way when I need to be heard on the mundane little things that are challenging; particularly now that I am trying to pick the pieces back up and find a new normal. I really appreciate you putting in the work to keep this open:) cheers, anne
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Cancersucks, I'm thinking right now too much snow also sucks. Hope you are staying warm and safe with electricity still working and don't have to go anywhere.
Anne, when I left home the military was an option for most but at the time they did still ask and if you lied and got in they would give you a dishonorable dicharge for falsifying the documents. There wasn't anyway that I could hide who I was, not good at lying. I'm glad you could pull it off but sorry you both had to endure the stress of the lie. Most of my jobs untill I got on the fire dept. I just didn't talk about what I had done on the weekends or what I was doing after work and didn't socialise with coworkers. Even though there was alot of homophobia on the fire dept. I managed to get to a station that was a little more tolerant. We knew each other so well due to schedule and type of work (if one of the guys was having problems at home we had to make sure he was ok next to us in a fire and being there for 24 hours you couldn't hide crap). It wasn't all nicey-nicey like things are today. I don't know if you guys have ever worked around a heard of straight guys but they will give you crap about the slightest thing if they think it gets to you, they do it to each other and there was no managment personel in the stations.
JJ, hope the migraine is gone. Maybe some of these other women with kids will pipe up on how they got them to grow up. Did have a SO with kids, one of them is great about his work ethic and the other is hanging out on friends couches all over town. Might just be the luck of the draw.
Elleijdan, hope you are feeling ok and enjoying the time in between and found something you think is going to work for the mouth sores.
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JJ, sounds like this scare is past?
Six is way too many.
Once a month is crazy. Is there a moderator who is doing it as part of a job? Mine was every other week, and the mods were cancer survivors too. They were also sometimes participants, which seemed a little weirdly blurry, but better than having someone who didn't "get it" just payed to be there.
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Hope everyone that is in the path of the Butt Load of Snow is safe and warm. We are thinking about you guys.
Outfield, once a month when you are a five years out from treatment is probably ok but not while in the thick of it. My moderator is a lic. social worker but not a cancer survivor and we all give her crap about it too. She learned pretty fast to tell new members because everyone of us would stare at her wondering how she had all that hair. She is a good sport. I can see where the lines would get a little blurry if the moderator became part of the group. My post above sounds like a comercial but wasn't intended to be. I've been hearing stories like JJs more now that I am in a support group and realize that the lack of support is more prevalent than I thought. I think keeping this thing current and alive is important.
Lovegolf, been doing any exercises to get the swing back come spring? I know I had to start prepping my body to work on the house a couple of months before construction started again. That was before BC, still trying to figure out how I'm going to pull sheetrock (heavy stuff) and get the windows changed out without paying an arm and a leg for help.
Hope everyone is having a decent weekend. Hope your happy times out weigh your stressed time. Kris
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Thanks to all for keeping this thread going. I pop in now and then and read up, but don't have much to say. I'm three years out, healthy enough other than weight gain and that flu-ish respiratory junk going around. BTW - I know of no way to get a teenager to get off their duff and get a job other than draconian measures such as hocking all their sh**t and keeping the money to pay the bills; they can get a job and pay off the pawn if they want their stuff back. Of course, I have 4 adult children living with me right now, and this month only two have paid their share, and the other two have also not done their share of chores, so I may have to get the brick bat out and bop them one or two. Actually, they may get their stuff hocked pretty soon...I'm a mean momma.
Hope all of you up northeasterly are surviving the big blowsnow. Stay warm.
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It's GML, cancersucks! Now I'm back on here posting! It has been a while since I have posted anything, probably more like two years. It is now 3 1/2 years out. I did not do radiation and could not do hormone treatment. Although I feel for the most part I have let go of that obsessive "I know it's going to come back" thinking, I have to admit that in the back of my head it is always there, lurking and knowing.
I have, for the most part, given up caring what people think about my lack of breasts. In the summer when I wear t shirts it is quite noticeable and I find myself somewhat self conscious about it but I also quickly forget about it.
I do have to defend look good feel better, something that one of my best friends volunteers for. She is a hairdresser and has made countless women feel better about themselves. Remember, we are not too far away from a generation of women who's self worth was reflected by others. How they look, right or wrong, is important to them, even if it is to please someone else. Now, I accepted all that Nioxin shampoo (I still use it btw), but I too would have felt weird if approached by someone with a suitcase full of mascara and rouge.
I am one of those people who think everything happens for a reason. What a gift it is in a sense to be able to hit the "pause" button on your life; review and evaluate, and then hit play again. Breast cancer has made me braver. Breast cancer has made me more financially responsible. Breast cancer has made me a better partner. Breast cancer has led me to re-evaluate when I will retire (sooner, yay!). Breast cancer reminds me to hurry up and live, even when I'm not, because we all know too well that no one is promised tomorrow.
I send a huge hug to all my sisters, gay and straight, young and old. Who rocks more than us?
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GML, nice to meet you. Glad you are still feeling good and living life. I think my problem with the whole Look good Feel better thing is that it was like be forced to come out again. They should call it Look Straight Feel Straight. Just something that I really didn't need when I was also yelling to the world that I am a single lesbian and will be going through this mess by myself. Throwing a bunch of makeup and an up dew on me would have made me feel even worse and I was getting it from every freaking office I visited. I also think that it makes minority straight women feel a little left out. I know that the native american community has a difficult time finding appropriate wigs. Just think more thought needs to go into the whole thing.
Hope everyone thats in the winter storm zone is getting through it ok.
Elliejdan, JJ, hope you two are feeling better.
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Hi everyone, I'm new to this site. My girlfriend of six years is in the middle of breast cancer treatment, so I thought that this board would be good for us.
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Mutt---Nice to meet you as well. Look straight feel straight lol! You are right, it's not exactly the first thing I worried about either. And you're also right in that it doesn't address everyone's needs. I just give them points for trying to do something for someone.
Welcome Elizacan. You'll find an amazing group of women on this site. My partner/wife was strong, courageous, and absolutely wonderful every single step of the way. I don't envy you as I have often said I thought it was harder on her than me. Make sure you take care of you as well.
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Elizacan, welcome and welcome to your gf thats in treatment. I can't imagine what it would be like to watch someone you love go through this but I can sure be here to listen and tell you what I did to get through it. Hope she is feeling on the good side of things and you are taking care of yourself so you can help take care of her. Kris
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Hi Elizacan, let us know if there is anything you need. Good to see the rest of you all checking back in
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My partner was a rock during treatment. She held our family together. I am so, so lucky to live in this mixed-up multicultural little city where nobody batted an eye. Even when our daughter was born (out of my body) and went immediately to the NICU for a week, my partner was immediately given the second of the "parent" bracelets that allowed us freely into the NICU (everybody else had to be accompanied by a braceleted parent).
Elizacan, if you haven't done so, make sure your partner has signed all the paperwork that would allow you to talk to her doctors if she's unable. It's a step short of a full medical power of attorney, which we also have.
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(Peeping out from over 2 feet of snow)
Hello everyone-
I shelved what I wrote because I was half asleep, for those who missed it, I babbled on and on about how beautiful it is to find your calm and about a dream I had, Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper were in it, we were all just hanging out playing pool, that's about right. Anyway, I feel more awake today after having a cup of coffee.
Just before my diagnoses things were rocky with my girlfriend, to make a long story short, I ended up telling her I had breast cancer on her voicemail and she never got back to me, then to make matters worse, while I was bald and going through my last bout of chemo, she wrote a blog and made fun of me all through it; bald with one more chemo to go, I felt crushed and I had very little support.
Feeling vulnerable, broken and incredibly depleted, I found Breastcancer.org, I checked it out first, not a lot of gay activity....at all. Then I noticed most lesbians were indeed being treated differently by some of their straight sisters. I was surprised and disappointed to see homophobia had even crossed over into cancer land, it wasn't everyone but it was apparent to me, unfornately.
To avoid being crushed again, I went back into the closet and choose my "hetro" handle because I was determined not to be judged on my orientation or have anyone thinking I was here for anything other than support, I had no ulterior motives. My being gay had nothing to do with the fact that I had breast cancer. I was facing some heavy stuff, I found the support eventually, through BC.org, and eventually family and friends.
Welcome back GML, you are so right, after cancer, if you don't do an audit on your whole life, it's a big mistake. There's no time to waste with false friends, toxic people, places, things; you learn how valuable authenic people are and how rare they are.
Welcome Elizacan))) Let us know how we can help!!! (One big internet hug) doesn't that sound welcoming,-sorry you're here but I'm glad you found us.
Hello Mutt1963, thank you for thinking of me while Nemo had her way with me, and lost power too, not fun!
Outfield, I would suggest having a health care proxy, also a durable power of attorney and of course everyone should have a will...my post just got bleak and took a darn turn, how did that happen?
LONG RANT!
GML, I did this long rant for you, I'm glad you found your password
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Cancersucks, your ex sucks too. Hope karma gets her before anyone else ends up dating her. Hope your power is back on and I have know idea who those guys are in your dream.
I never felt much support from anyone if I wasn't being myself. So if I was trying to hide my sexual orientation (which I don't think I could pull off at all) then they weren't being supportive of me they were being supportive of someone else. I certainly wasn't thinking about sex when I was looking for support so I don't understand why straight women would be thinking about it. What I did need was some idea how a woman who doesn't fit the mold navigates through the whole system set up to force you into the mold. Its kind of an odd the contrast between treatment and the support systems in place. Treatment does have its protocols so we all kind of get the same options depending on our diagnosis but they do acknowledge to a certain extent that our physiological reactions to the crap are going to be different (the only things my MO would admit to was hair loss and nausea). The support systems that are easily obtainable and offered all assume we are either Barbie or wanted to be Barbie with very few considerations for anything else. Certainly nothing for anyone that had been doing physical labor. That was my experience anyway.
Elliejdan, you should be coming up on round two if you haven't already had it. Just a heads up, each one of my chemo's was different and alot of others had the same experience so maybe round two won't be as hard on your friends car (and I hope they give you more meds to help with that IV) as round one or you may experience a different feel to it. Hope you are able to keep yourself busy. Kris
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