I know I cant be the only lesbian out here?
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Cancer...I know what you mean about the "trashers" - I would have hoped that had died down in the time that I've been gone, but I guess with the internet, somethings never change. I'm sure others would agree, we understand if you feel the need to delete once you put it out there for us.
Kris..you are 100% correct. As annoying as it is when they say that, I would rather they ruled out that, then moved onto less concerning causes. Fortunately, my problem isn't something that worries me for a reoccurrance or mets. I've lost a significant amount of weight, although I was trying they think I've lost more than a reasonable person could in 2 months time (21lbs), but I also have been puking a lot ever since I got what I thought was norvo virus in December. Sicne then it's been happening about every 2 weeks, and recently every 5 days. So...not likely a cancer issue, but certainly not a pleasant one either. This is the universe getting me back for saying losing weight would be so much easier if I could just learn to puke by sticking my finger down my throat. Becareful what you wish for
![:\](https://community.breastcancer.org/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
I have a CT scan tomorrow. I'm just praying it shows the problem so I don't have to move on to the dreaded "scopes". The lower one, not as bad to have the procedure because they put you in the twilight. But, you have to drink that disgusting fluid that cleans you out. I've never had an upper one, so I have no idea what delightful pleasantries await me on that. If the wretching wasn't so intense, I would just deal with it. But my boss (and my partner) are not too thrilled with me letting it go this long. Clearly they are not big fans of denial.
I hope all here are doing well...I'm going to kill some time going back to catch up some more on what I've missed
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I absolutely met all the criteria for PTSD for a long time after diagnosis. Even more so during that time when treatment was done and I wasn't all drugged up dealing with nausea anymore.
What I fight now is not being bitter about it. Nobody talks about that. It just seems like women go back to their lives and are just fine, and I see that I really can't understand it. I'll be 3 years out from diagnosis in June, and I don't get how it can ever fade to background. Maybe most women truly don't have the kind of problems as a result of treatment that I have - lymphedema, chronic tightness in my armpit, slight weakness of my arm. But I don't know why I would have it worse. Does everyone just ignore it?
I worry about lurkers. I also have a job where it's not unreasonable for me to worry about stalkers. Otherwise I would definitely post photos. I took some of my torso when I was flat, emaciated and red after finishing up with radiation. I wish those could go on Komen's posters, not the cheery people I really don't understand.
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Navygirl, I've had upper and lower scope. They did them at the same time, its easier to clean your stomach and small intestine out than the lower so there isn't any real prep for that. They look around and take a small biopsy for the upper. There is a condition where you have an overgrowth of a certain type of bacteria in the small intestine this bacteria consumes more than its share of nutrition causing you to loose weight. They can fix this imbalance. I'm glad they are getting to the bottom (no punn) of the problem.
Outfield, I have all the same problems you do. Today was a unusually swollen day with the pain and hot flashes to go with it. It was a really nice day out and I was going to ride my d*mn motorcycle no matter what. I was tired and wasn't at my optimal for cager attack diligence but I did it anyway. And yes I'm pissed off. More so that none of this was told to me at the begining than anything else. If I have a game plan I can get through anything and they didn't give me a chance to have a game plan untill there wasn't anyway to devise one. I think a big part of the problem is that they are focused on women over 60 who didn't do physical labor or have physical hobbies, and in the past didn't want to talk about sex if they still wanted to have it and certainly weren't complaining about weakness in their arms and upper torso to have it. There I said it. I can put a small pile of plates back in the cabinet now but that still isn't the boundries of what I consider to be a quality of life and I think they expect most women to be thrilled sh!tless with that. I'm going to keep pushing it, I can't do it any other way. I sure as h&ll can't stay where I am afraid of swelling, pain, infection and reaccurance. Thats an internal prison and I just spent from june 2011 to june 2012 in one. I understand others have different tollerances for this stuff and I respect their opinions. I read where one womun was going to be on an airplane for 14 hours who had trunkal lymphedema, that scares the crude out of me and isn't a chance I would be willing to take right now but flying isn't that important to me.
That was my big ole rant. The photos that were taken of me were to put the pink crap where it belongs, in babies cribs. I trust my friend to keep a tight copyright on them and also not display them to any group that would not show them in an honest manner. My friend is more apalled by the pink fluff than I am and is well aware of the challenges that the womyn on this thread face even though she is straight.
lurkers be notified: I shoot through the door! Don't mess with us cause we are already a little pissed off.
Everyone else have a lovely rest of the week. I'm going to be riding that MC. Kris
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Hello everyone-
I sincerely hope this is a painfree night for everyone.
CS
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Hi all
Interesting lurker discussion. Are lurkers the same as trolls? It may be my occasional warped world view (also due to my profession!), but sometimes I read posts in other threads and think, " that is NOT a woman with breast cancer." A few times I have been 99% certain that a poster is a male posing as a woman with breast cancer trying to scare women or stir the pot or whatever. It makes me really angry (which I admit is very unproductive), and I guess it is about control...I am powerless to stop them just as I am powerless to stop cancer. I haven't nailed down how to accept that there is so much I cannot control in life, seems that there isn't enough yoga in the world for me to "get it."
heading to Cali this weekend to hide form this 95 degree weather
Hope you all have a good one! cheers, anne0 -
Hey all, sorry for the rant. I guess the combination of up coming doc visits, current and new situations and the urge to turn 50 in peace are getting to me. Hope I didn't upset anyone. Kris
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Wow, I don't get on here for a few days and miss a lot! Hope everyone is feeling OK on this fine Friday evening. I too had PTSD symptoms from many, many years ago, long before BC. Not sure that the breast cancer added too much to it. For me, it feels like older traumas heal as I experience new ones, that somehow I am working through old stuff when something new happens. I can't explain exactly why I feel that way, but I do.
I am lucky in that I haven't had lymphadema. I still don't have full feeling in my right arm and at this point I doubt I ever will. I have herniated discs in my neck so I'm weaker on my right side anyways. I decided, along with my rheumatologist, not to have radiation as I have Lupus and would have had a significant, and perhaps dangerous, skin reaction. So, I'm not what I used to be like when I was 16 and I could pick up a long bale of hay with one hand....but what the hell, I'm pushing 49, so I figure I'm doing ok. Plus I spent the first half of my life always freezing my arse off so I am one of those whacky people that has welcomed the hot flashes. I'm rarely cold anymore and I think that's great.
Outfield, I haven't forgotten about it and i cant ignore it. I don't think I ever could. Every morning when I'm drying off after getting out of the shower, there it is, my boobless chest, to remind me that, yes, this is my new reality. I remember feeling that it was a little more than unfair that after being knocked off my horse, so to speak, that I was expected to get back on and finish the race. But, what was my choice really? I remember wanting to sell everything and live on the Beach. After all, life is short. But, I know that's not practical. I have to move on and work and function the same as I've always had to, even with the daily additional knowledge that things could take a bad turn at any moment. In a sense we know a secret that others don't. And no, its not the pretty pink one. But to me, there's power in that.
Navy, hope your gut is okay. I've been having significant problems with the other end. Suspect IBS, but have appointment with gastro doc in a couple of weeks. My new game at work is "let's see if I can make it to the toilet in time", over and over again. Our fun never ends. Really sick of seeing doctors. Really.
I wasn't on any social media either until I was in treatment. Only then did I open up a FB account. I agree with CS in that all this social media is really making us antisocial (and not in the axis II kinda way). I find myself now wanting to text people rather than call them, and that's not a good thing I don't think. Lurkers....I guess there are a lot of reasons why someone would "lurk". Some may truly be antisocial (and now I do mean in the axis II kinda way), some may take sick pleasure in reading this stuff, some may want to manipulate, others might wish for this (yes, i know how that sounds but i do think they're out there) and some are probably curious. I know I've "lurked" on the stage 4 posts before, not for any other reason than to see how people deal with that, in case I ever have to. Lurkers are out there, the good and the bad, but like Mutt, I too am well defended.
Have a great weekend everyone.
GML0 -
I don't think a lurker is the same. A lot of people just "lurk," reading but not posting, for a long time before they get up the courage to post. Lots of times they mention that when they do post. I have no problem with that - seems natural - but it always makes me wonder just who and how many people are out there reading, never posting. That's a little eerie.
I have PM'd someone I thought was a fake and posting inappropriately. I didn't call him/her on the fakeness, but I did explain why I was ticked off about the post. Figured if by some small chance it was a real person with breast cancer then I wasn't invalidating their experience. I did try to be civil.
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I don't know what a troll is, and when I think of a lurker, I am not sure what that is. I guess I consider a lurker as someone who only is doing it for their sick pleasure. I know I am not a lurker. I don't post much, but feel not so alone when I see that survivors like me are out there. I may not have much to post, but I am very grateful that there is a forum for lesbians who are survivors. There are not any other organizations I have found that actually have a lesbian/bi/trans survivor forum.
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Lurking! Just checking in.
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When I was originally diagnosed back in 2011 this topic was very quiet so I did not post, so I was pleasantly surprised when I checked back today and found so many posts. I knew I could not be the only one out here. I am currently going through my first UMX anniversary and all the checks that come with that and of course all the stresses of waiting to hear that hopefully all is clear.
In the meantime I have become a member of a Facebook Group called 'Lesbian Cancer Survivors and Caregivers' which has been brilliant.
I have read all of your posts and a big 'Hello' to everyone.
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Cleaomoon and Hils, nice to hear from you. I'm on the facebook group but find it easier to keep up with everyone here. I'm new to facebook and the format gets a little overwhelming at times with other friends posting their stuff too. I am incredibly happy that there are this many womyn posting now. Just think how much less scary this stuff would have been in the begining if we had found this instead of the ghost town that this thread use to be. Congrats to all of you for turning this into something that was really needed by me and any lesbian or family and friend who was looking for support.
I spent alot of time reading because I really didn't have anything to offer. Then I ended up with a pretty good case of chemo brain so anything I wrote looked like I was drunk typing so I was paranoid to add anything then.
I think the invasion of privacy happened long before I started posting. Think it was either the insurance company or the drug manufacturers but I started getting tons of snail mail concerning medical issues that I didn't have but someone who might have breast cancer might have. Think someone out there was making an extra buck selling my info.
Friday was great. It was 83 degrees here and everyone with a motorcycle was out riding. Even the cops on bikes where waving back as I passed (usualy they just look at you stearnly). Suppose to get cold again this weekend with snow on St.Pats. Oh well, a little human antifreeze never hurt anyone. Hope you guys have a good weekend. Kris
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Hi Kris thank you for your welcome, much appreciated. Nice temperature for riding your bike. We are currently transitioning between Summer and Autumn and no doubt winter is not too far away. We are currently in a drought and I am pleased to see that it is raining this morning, especially for all of the farmers.
Hope everyone has a pain free and good weekend and I look forward to touching base with a few more of you over time. Happy St Patricks Day
Hils
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Hi all...I'm sorry I didn't do a thorough job of catching up, I'm exhausted from not sleeping (steroids used to prevent allergic reaction from contrast)...I did comprehend enough to know that Kris need not apologize for her rant, Bookart dropped by, Clea and Hils are new (welcome!) and someone finally spoke outloud about being pissed off (at least at times) about this whole mess. Praise God yes there are time when what wasn't explained, what has gone wrong, what remains as a lingering side effect really do piss me off. Albeit not for long, but still - enough that I would never want anyone else to apologize for having their moment
I ended up having the scan on Friday, and the doctor called Friday night to say they will need to go in and do a scope, and maybe biopsy to figure out more. She said it was concerning, and they need to have me come in for the scope sooner rather than later, but serious doesn't mean cancer so don't panic. I'm not panicking, I just want to stop puking
In the mean time, they told me of something to quell the nausea until we figure it out.On the upside, I picked out a new car for myself today, and she's sitting in the driveway just waiting for a road trip! Only I could start out looking to refinance a car, and end up with a new one that actually is half the monthly payment of the one I had...I will lease now, I don't keep my cars until they are paid off ever, so it just makes more sense. If you're in the DC/MD/VA area and you ever need a new car...use Herb Gordon dealerships. Best experience I've ever had, and this is my 14th go around so I've had my fair share of experiences with dealerships
Gotta go for now...it's been a harsh day tummy wise and I just want to crawl in bed early and sleep! As a side note, all this talk of lurkers has me going back and editing out pertinent informationt that someone might be able to use to identify who I am if they were so inclined to snoop on here just to see what I was posting...never gave it much thought before. I'd like to think none of my family or friends would do that? Oh well, better safe than sorry!
G'night all...be well, and if that's not an option right now, be kind to yourself!
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Hi Navygirl, I hope you get on top of the nausea, there is nothing worse in my opinion and I have only experienced this for a very short period of time, usually just after surgery. After four surgeries they still have not sussed out how to stop me puking when I wake up again from the anaesthetic! Can't be that difficult can it?
I can totally empathise with anyone that has been pissed off at some stage of this journey. I think I recently read somewhere that the diagnosis of cancer has a similar effect to having PTSS (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome). For me it is all of the waiting - you have a scan / MRI etc and the results do not come back to you for one to two weeks. I like to know what is happening at all times (some may call this being a control freak - but I think that is a little harsh) either way the waiting is the worst for me. Once I know what is going to happen or not, then I relax and I feel back in control.
The other thing that I find difficult is that I do not feel that I fit in with any of the support groups that are available to me here. I am either too old, too young, not a mum or a mother and definately not straight. People I meet are lovely but, and it is a big but, I cannot relate to them and vice versa. So thank you for this group as it gives me a group of women that I can relate to. Sorry for my rant
Happy St Patricks Day to you all
Hils
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Thanks hils..I so get what you are saying about "not fitting" --- I don't have the same issues with my spouse as a straight woman might, because I think generally speaking having another woman to go through this with, is much easier than going through it with a man. I also don't relate to the worries about not being there for my children, because I don't have them. I do have fur babies, and I do worry about leaving them behind. When your dogs really are your kids, you worry just the same about their health and well being once you are no longer around to love them. Non-dog/animal lovers don't understand how for me it's the same worry as it is for them.
I have a med now for the vomiting, so the past 3 days have been noticably better. I had the follow up appt. to the scan today, but they cannot get me in for the scope procedure for 5 weeks. I realize that even if this is a cancer issue, as opposed to a Crohns/Celiac's issue, 5 weeks won't make a difference in the prognosis but that doesn't make the waiting any easier. I lost 5lbs since the appointment I had 1 week ago. Now, don't get me wrong, I've wanted to lose weight ever since I gained 25lbs on steriods in 2008 - but the fact that I am losing weight this rapidly without trying, is pretty alarming to me. I can't even enjoy it, because my poor wife is worried sick about it. You can't hide weight loss like you can pain
I hope you all enjoyed your weekend, and that your side effects/treatments/after effects are being kind to you. I so appreciate having you all here
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Hey Navygirl-
We're all pulling for ya!!! Just think, you're taking care of what needs to be done and moving forward. Tomorrow Spring is here, hopefully a new chapter and this soon will all be behind you. I'm glad to hear things have been a little better since the meds. No kids here either but I have a fur baby and he is just like a child. How do people do it with actual children? I'll never know. Anyway, thank you for the update and hang in there!!!
CS
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Navygirl, Sometimes people get in sooner for tests if they call often and ask if there are any cancellations. Just a thought, it does take some time that alot don't have to keep pestering the scope schedulers. I hope the antinausea meds keep on working and you can put a little of that weight back on.
I've got the med. onco next tues. Have no idea what he will want to do as far as tests if any, I got aches and pains everywhere but think most of that is due to nature of previous employment and the estrogen blocker. Got all my blood work done at my Primary Care docs office today. One stick instead of 2, wonder how the med. onco is going to take that one?
I am so tired of winter. The spring preview that we got thurs. and Fri. was too good. We have at least a week of rain/snow mix left. Please let the weather break soon.
Hope everyone is having better weather than us and getting a little sunshine too. Kris
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'lo - a couple of things from a quick perusal of the last page or two: Hils - my partner always projectiles about 6 - 12 hours after anesthesia, except one time, when they used a different cocktail of drugs. We've blamed it on propofol, but there's not an medical basis for that. We wish we knew which drugs they used the one time it worked without nausea. Probably the type of anti-emetic. Some studies show acupuncture/pressure may work...
I define lurkers as anyone who is reading and not posting. Lurkers can be benign or malignant - ha. A troll is someone who tries to stir things up, or hack or otherwise do bad things on a board or in a chat room. I don't give a flying flip about lurkers - good or bad - if they're good, so what, and if they are bad, I'm not about to give them the power of thinking about them. Trolls I'll do my best to get off the board. The difficulty is defining the troll - people might be just new or ignorant, and some people have been really hateful to them on these boards because they didn't know the rules.
Navygirl - good to see you here! Hope your gut issues get cleared up soon.
I got an all good from my BS yesterday, so I'm feeling pretty good. 3 years and counting. Of course, my BS reminds me that it was just DCIS, and I shouldn't worry, but my mother had DCIS and had a recurrence at 4 years out of her MX. So I won't stop sweating the checkups until 5 years. Then I'll be doing the happy dance.
Sometime when it's not past my bedtime I would like to have a "what to do about low libido" discussion on this board or some other board with lesbians only. It's a hard talk to have with a mixed group, as I've tried both here and at a BC retreat. Is there any way to lock a board so that only certain members (no lurkers, the bad type) can participate?
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Excellent question Bookart and some great mindful observations, the low libido discussion would be interesting. I love my onc but there are just some things I can't bring up to her, even though she seems "queer friendly."
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Hi Everyone
Summer is still trying to hang on here, although you can now feel the autumnal chill in the morning. So while you are all looking forward to Summer we are looking squarely at welcoming Winter in the not too distant future.
Bookart it is good to hear that I am not the only person who vomits after surgery. I would hate to be in my own private club, but I certainly would not wish it on anyone! I totally understand your concerns going to your BS and being given the all clear. Hey I never thought I would get cancer in the first place, so now that I have, I do not trust my body at all. My BS told me that I could still get a reoccurence in my MX breast but it was unlikely and that I had a 20% of getting breast cancer again. Better odds than the lotto, but I like to think that I have an 80% chance of never getting it again :0
Libido would be a great discussion chart and would be happy to discuss, but not sure that I would neccessarily want to do this on this forum. I hope everyone has a good weekend and that Navygirl is feeling less sick and that anyone undergoing treatment is having no side effects or pain.
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Ok all, I want to pose this to all of you and get your thoughts because your thoughts often help me feel more normal.
An acquaintance, a friend of a friend really, recently had her head shaved to raise money for the St. Baldricks Foundation. I have mixed feelings about this, well, not really mixed, I'm irritated by it. When she first posted on FB that she was going to have her head shaved for this event, there were a lot of comments congratulating her, etc. I simply commented that she better go buy some hats as she had no idea how warm her hair kept her head until her hair was gone. I did donate, after all, it's for little kids with cancer. But I have to tell you the concept is perturbing me.
How about they shave their heads AND eyebrows and pull all their eyelashes out? How about they repeat that process every time a hair starts to grow back? My head was as smooth as a baby's bottom for eight months. And how about they irritate the crap out of their gums so that when they eat, it stings, and so when they smile their gums are fire engine red? And how about they get sores all over their bald head and face to further the look. And as the coup d grace, how about they grow a fungus on their toenails that will be there for three years? I just cut the last out of my big toe nail and I am three years out from ending chemo this past February.
Now she is talking about how she's "rockin it" (I was so not "rocking it") but she is upset as people are telling her to put a hat on, she looks like a boy, assuming she has cancer, etc. I HATED going anywhere when I was doing chemo. I looked terrible and people did stare and I didn't like it for a nanosecond.
I should be the sensible adult that I am and know I can be and ignore it and or delete that post from my feed. But I really, really, really want to comment on it.
So....I came on here.
Navygirl, glad you are getting relief and hope that you feel better real soon. Hope everyone else is well.
No ovaries, little libido but I'm lucky because my wife doesn't have a high libido either. Besides, I'm too pissed to have sex tonight.
GML0 -
I was trying to repost and it went away. GML, I don't have a true understanding, since I didn't do the chemo path. The only experience I've had that was even slightly similar was when some of my straight girlfriends would pretend to be lesbian and hold hands and kiss when out in public to get in the face of people (this was 25 years ago). Of course, then they would make sure people knew they weren't really lesbians, so they would be safe. It was irritating, but I could never put my finger on it, or even talk to them about it. Maybe it's so irritating because we are trapped in it, and they are just playing at it. They get to walk away, while we have to live there (being an out lesbian wasn't a cup of tea back then, in Texas).
Anyway, my lady love has a high libido. I desperately need to ramp it up. Sigh.
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Hi GML
Like bookart I also did not have chemo but having friends that have had I know that the side effects can and do go on for many months and years. Unfortunately people do try and get involved in charity fund raising and not always for the right reasons. Its as if they only do it to get a comment or to be noticed by their friends or by strangers. Have to say this would piss me off as well.
I remember when I lived in Oregon back in the 80's straight couples would come into the gay bars pretending they were gay to get in and then cause trouble, by trying to start fights, coming on to gay couples etc. I just don't understand people at times trying to being something they are not, but then there is nothing so queer as folk (no pun inteneded)
I know Oregon was bad but I am sure Texas was no picnic either.
I think on the libido front many of us post cancer have a problem truely connecting with our partners and vice versa. Its not that we do not love each other, but sometimes the thought of what may happen re the disease just dampens everything down. It takes time for us to get over this, in a similar way to coming to terms with the initial diagnosis. Just a thought.
Have a great weekend
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Hello everyone,
People don’t get it, until they got it. I firmly believe that people are innately good, and try to help in their own way but sometimes miss the mark. Another perpective, I learned from this site. “In your darkest hour, the friend that calls and says the wrong thing out of not knowing any better is better than the friend who doesn’t call at all. “
Hope everyone is having a calm weekend with minimum stress.
CS
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GML...I think both bookart and cs nailed it. I can completely relate to why you would be pissed; I never got the whole "solidarity" thing...but then again, I know others who have done it in solidarity for someone they cared about, and the person they did it for was really touched by it. Personally, I wouldn't want someone to do it, but I don't begrudge others who appreciate it. I actually did shave my head back in my early 30's - because I lost a bet. Now, obviously I never, ever, thought I would lose, or I wouldn't have made the stakes so hight. But, you know what? I didn't give a crap about others stares back then, andy more than I did when chemo took my hair away. The girl on fb is doing something for a good cause, and even though she gets to keep her eyebrows and eyelashes, shaving her head is still a pretty big thing. I hope that since this was for a charity awareness, everytime someone asks about it or stares at her, she is educating them on that charity.
Is it annoying to those of use who have been, or are still going through it? Absolutely. Is she enjoying the attention? Probably. Is she making a positive contribution to a charity that others may never heard of? (I never had until your post) yes...so personaly, IMHO, I would just hide the thread so you aren't annoyed by it. Let her have her moment in the spotlight doing her charity thing...Karma has a funny way of bringing things full circle and one day she may find herself in our shoes, and understand that it's not always fun and games.
Thank you all for the good thoughts also...the meds have kept me from having anymore episodes. I'm still nauseas from time to time, but otherwise they are working very well. On the upside, I'm now down 25lbs. I had to go shopping today because I don't have any pants that fit anymore. You can lose 10 or 15lbs without having to update the sizes in your closet, but you can't drop 25lbs without getting some smaller sizes. It was so hard to have to go out and buy new clothes
I hope you all are having a great weekend! It's so good to have you all on here to touch base with. Peace & Love my friends.
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My vote is that if they shave for solidarity or a cause they have to shave their eyebrows too (thats what made us look really freaky) and they have to maintain the look for as long as the person going through it has it and they have to come over and clean the house once a week as a trade out for not having a life threatening disease and feeling like hammered crap with chemo brain. Now thats solidarity. The good thing for them is that they don't have to deal with any of the side effects during and after treatment or the crazy hair that comes back. I'm game for talking about the libido problem. I have an appointment with my gyn onco in june and will be asking her about this (first year after hyster).
Hope everyone is doing good or as well as possible. We are still locked into winter here. Kris
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Thank you all for your responses. I think you all nailed it. Even with good intentions, shaving one's head is just a tiny bit of the experience. I find no solidarity in that for me. The solidarity is here on this site and with my wife who watched the whole process and that in and of itself deserves a medal of some sort. Like CS, i felt SO self conscious when i went out. It was a really difficult time.
I had some people say the wrong thing to me, before, during, and after treatment. I was able to dismiss that. This lit a fire in me, I think in part because it was so difficult for me and this felt like it diminished and ignored how painful (physically and emotionally) the real experience was and is. I am glad she raised nearly $3500 for the organization, and I guess I can now leave it at that. I never did comment. I just ignored it.
I hope libidos increase for all those in need. I really wish the snow would go away. Thought I could take the plow off the four wheeler but since I had to use it yesterday it looks like it better stay on for a while.
Have a peaceful evening and thank you all again.
GML0 -
Have been lurking. CS, I really like the end part of what you wrote.
And yes, if anybody has any answers to the libido problem, please share. My suspicion is that those of us afflicted are all essentially without recourse, and those lucky enough not be afflicted couldn't really know why or how they're the lucky ones.
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Yeah, Outfield. I know 1/2 of libido is hormones, because I can tell when I'm a little higher in estrogen - I get just the slightest bit revved up. But it doesn't last. If the timing isn't right, there goes that chance until some other time, maybe. I asked about hormone creams, testosterone, etc, but since I'm ER+/PR+ that's a no-go. The other 1/2 is in the head, and that's the only place i can make a difference. I'm not sure what to do about that. It's not like there's a lot of time for thinking about it - I've got a lot on my mind already! My partner and I do talk about it ahead of time, so I can start thinking about it. That can help me get a bit revved up, but then if something happens and we can't, it's a real disappointment for both of us. I've thought about sex therapy, but unless it was with a lesbian, I don't think I would be comfortable. And how many lesbian sex therapists are there here in Texas? That's the current state of my thoughts...
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