Bras 101: The Great Post-Exchange Debate
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Haven't posted here in quite a while and am not totally up to speed on all YOUR recent posts but wanted to let y'all know I've got an appointment with Joanne at the Troy, Michigan Nordstrom's next Saturday October 4! It's three and a half hours away but we'll be over there for a family wedding that weekend so I figured OK, it's TIME!!! I want some pretty, girly, colorful, gorgeous underwire bras! I'm over a year out from exchange and am sick and tired of the stretchy Bali bras and such. Can't wait and I'm not going to worry about the hit my credit card will be taking. My DH will be with me and seriously wouldn't mind if I spent $1000 on bras (I won't. That would be just too much for this little Dutch girl to handle
). If spending $200 or $300 or $400 on some new bras makes me smile and puts a bounce in my step he's all for it. He's been my rock since diagnosis and still tells me I'm his hero after watching me go through BMX, recovery, expansion, exchange and revision.I'll let you know how it goes
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sweetandspecial - GOOD for you!
Can't wait to hear how it goes and what you get!
xoxo
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sweetandspecial, be sure to check with your insurance company, some companies cover them and Nordstroms will send bill directly to them but you need a prescription from PS
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sweetandspecial- I'm excited for you! Nordstroms is the best. Please let us know what you end up with.
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I'm only a week and a half post exchange , but will make an appointment at the Nordstrom in downtown Chicago on Michigan avenue as soon as I get the ok from my PS. I was wondering if anyone had gone there and if so, do you have the name of a fitter there you liked. There's also a Soma in the same area, so my plan is to go to both while I'm there. It's a little over an hour via the South Shore from where I am in Indiana, so I'll treat myself to a day in the city.
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I don't know any names for a fitter, but ask for a surgical fitter at Nordie's...call ahead.
I don't recommend Soma unless you go in knowing what size you need, knowing a lot about proper fit, and knowing they have your size in stock. I understand they do the "+4" band measuring there and may have more limited sizing. This makes them no better than VS for fitting. For example Soma's online bra calculator puts me in a 34A (29" under bust, 35" bust) which is RIDICULOUS. I wear a 30E. Sometimes a 30F. In very tight bands maybe a 32DD. I'd be swimming in a 34 band and the bra would be useless. The sister sizing isn't even right, in a 34 band (which I would not wear as I might as well tie a string around my breasts) I would need a D. An A would be like wearing pasties. An A cup means one has a 1" difference between their under bust and overbust, which I clearly do not. I have a 6" difference which means an E cup.
Nordstrom's has a much better selection of band sizes, cup sizes, brands, and generally (but not always) fitters who know what they are doing.
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On my visit with my PS yesterday, he told me I can wear any bra that is comfortable enough, but no underwire yet (IMF incision). I've been wearing the Bali 3488 since I had my TEs, and they're still comfortable, but would really like something without a contour cup and with a little more lateral support. I can't make the trip yet to get fitted and have used the "A Bra That Fits" 5 measurements which puts me in either a 34DD or a 36D which I feel is a more reasonable starting point than the Herroom implant measurements, which puts me in around a 36B or 38A. I'm planning to order the Wacoal Awareness 85276 to just get me into something a bit better until I can go for a fitting. Can anyone provide any guidance on wether or not the band tends to run tight or loose?
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The Wacoal Awareness is what i bought a week after exchange and have been wearing 24/7 since (I'm at 3.5 weeks). The Nordstrom fitter measured my ribcage (tightly!) at 29.5 and said I was a 32 and probably a C cup. She put me in a 34 D Wacoal as she felt i had swelling. So I'm not sure exactly what size I am. I can tell you that with a 30 ribcage, the 34 feels snug but comfortable.
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I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to wear a bra again. I've been in sports bras and camis since my exchange. Trying to make the leap to a "real bra," but I just can't seem to find one that doesn't leave marks or feel uncomfortable at the end of the day. I like the Genie brand, but thought I'd try an upgrade to something more structured. I went to Nordstrom's and she told me underwires were not necessary. She put me in a Amoema Mona seamless soft cup 2614, which was comfy - until the end of the day, that is. I think this is a great style, but maybe it takes awhile for it to stretch out?
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scubalady,
If you are in the US, you could order a handful of sizes from herroom and try them on and return what does not work. I have read reviews of the Awareness online and some say the band runs snug, but I don't always trust reviews as you need to remember most women don't even know their proper bra size. I am more inclinded to trust the reviews if they are on bratabase. I never tried the soft cup, but I did try the wired Awareness and found the band to be firm but not overly tight or "small", just not as stretchy as, say, a Freya band. When you get the bra, do up the band below your breasts WITHOUT the bra cups on (it can help to turn it backwards). Reason being is if the cups are the wrong size (i.e. too small) it can make a band that is the right size for you ALSO seem too small. Once you know the right band size, then try the cups.
What is your ribcage measurement? My practice is usually to try and order the band size closest to my ribcage measurement, and wear an extender for a while. Bands ALWAYS stretch out, so even if a band is snug it won't be that way for that long AND you will get longer wear out of the bra if you start snug (even if you need to use an extender at first). Bra extenders are super cheap on ebay and the like.
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bc101:
Marks are normal in a proper fitting bra. I think many of the women on this thread or on the picture forum can tell you their bras leave some marks. When I remove a bra, I will have some marks where the underwire rests, the seams rest, etc. What you don't want is deep, painful marks, etc. It also should not feel comfortable at the end of the day.
Did the lady at Nordstrom's even try and fit you into an underwire? If not, that is disappointing. Maybe it is not "necessary", but underwire does add support, and shape (including some lift). Also, generally you have some prettier and sexier options. Several women around here have had very good fittings into underwires with surgical fitters at Nordstrom's.
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No, she didn't. I was surprised by her statement after reading this thread. I'm going to go to a different mastectomy shop - one that has more options and a fitter who is more open-minded. Thanks for the tips. The hunt continues....
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Divecat
I am in the US, and I've ordered from Herroom before. Odly enough, I had received a few new Chantell right before I felt the lump and by the time I knew for a fact that I was having a mastectomy, I was past the return window. I called and explained the situation and that I was sure I would not be wearing a 34G in the future and was able to return them and pay only a restocking fee.
My ribcage measures 33. I was wearing a 34 band in Chantell, although an F or G cup, right before my mastectomy, except for a few of their styles where the band was very tight and I needed a 36. I'm actually about 7 pounds lighter (breast weight difference excluded), so I'm thinking of ordering the 34DD and the 36D. Do you think I should order any other sizes around those also?
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I think you would be okay with trying those sizes first. You can always exchange if you need. Though sometimes I like to order a cup size up or whatever while I am at it just to test fit (I am in Canada, so if I am going to pay shipping back and forth anyway, I like to be sure I got the right fit!). Since it is a soft cup bra, and with stretchier cups, it can hide fit issues, but you should be able to scoop and swoop yourself into the cups fully without any overflow, etc.
Lots of women really like the soft cup Awareness after exchange, so hopefully it works out for you!
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I have found a couple new comfy bras. I'm on a strict budget and can't afford the expensive ones yet. Both of these are made by Bali, one is UW comfort revolution (#3388), like the one we all like, but UW. The other is also UW, one smooth u collection, ultra light UW, style 3443. Both would be perfect post-sx 1st UW's.
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bc101- I wear mostly comfy bras or cami's 24/7 but when I want to look nice I wear my Soma no underwire bras and they fit me really well with no marks or issues (in fact I forget they are even on). Soma did a great job of measuring me as well. I just bought 3 of them so I wouldn't have to bra shop for a long time!
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bc101--I'm the same as you....still can't wear UW bras and I'm a 18 months out from ex surgery. For some reason, my underarm is very sensitive where the lymph nodes were removed and any UW feels like someone shoved a piece of cardboard up under my arm and left it there. All I can wear are the bali 3488s and I'm really getting tired of them. I have bought a bali 3388 with the UW and am up to about 3 hours before I have to rip it off! The only other one I can wear for a couple of hours is, unbelievably, a Maidenform. It's the 9436. It's super soft. I think it may be one that the wires are a bit shorter so then they don't feel like they are poking me. Everyone measures me at 34DD but I find that a 36D works better, again, I think because the wires are shorter.
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lala1 - you're probably right...I read on the HerRoom site that plunge bras are good because the shorter underwires fit better around the implants. Makes sense to me. I'm planning to go bra shopping next week to try again.
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I had an enormously successful trip to Nordstrom's on Saturday. Came home with eight beautiful new UW bras and I finally feel pretty all under again!!! And there are another 6 or 7 on my wish list! My fitter (Jo Ann Hyde) is a wonderful woman and we had a blast. I know I got Wacoal, Natori and Chantelle but don't know the style names for sure. I plan to put it all in a spreadsheet so I can keep track of brands, styles and colors for future shopping needs. Will let y'all know as soon as I can what worked for me
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sweetandspecial - So happy to hear!
Let us know what you end up liking best!
So, so happy the whole experience turned out so well.
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Sweet - Might I suggest a website that DiveCat got me interested in? It's http:www.bratabase.com. You can join for free, and it lets you keep track of all your bras - brand, color, and size by creating a list. You can also upload pictures to remind yourself of what you like and don't like, too. I find it handy when shopping on eBay! If you know your size in a particular brand it helps so much...
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sweetandspecial,
So happy to hear you found an armload of bras.
And bratabase is fantastic. I mostly go there to compare the bras I like and that fit with other potential ones as you can compare measurements. And there are LOTS of reviews too which can be helpful. Especially as I end up having to do lots of my bra shopping online
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I registered on Bratabase but need to check my spam filter in the morning because I never got the email they claim to have sent me with my special whatever code to log in the first time. So - here's a copy/paste from a quick spreadsheet I threw together. Jo Ann gave me 25% off everything I bought even though everything wasn't necessarily on sale(except looks like she missed one). Very sweet of her to give up part of her commission for me! I also still need to check with my insurance company and get a prescription from my PS next time I want to buy any. I was too impatient this time
. Will be cashing in several years worth of saved up coins to pay for them this time but they're worth it......lol! Make Style # Style Name Size Color Reg Price Cost Wacoal 851205 Halo Lace 36DD Cappuccino $ 48.00 $ 36.00 Wacoal 853117 La Femme 36DD Black $ 60.00 $ 45.00 Wacoal 853201 Lace Finesse 36DD Nude $ 65.00 $ 48.75 Wacoal 853201 Lace Finesse 36DD Purple $ 65.00 $ 48.75 Natori 317937 Feathers 36DD Burgundy $ 68.00 $ 38.25 Natori 583962 Lynx 36DD WarmViolet/Rose Petal $ 52.00 $ 39.00 Natori 395457 Hidden Glamour Contour 36DD Hot Pink $ 68.00 $ 68.00 Chantelle 835930 Merci Memory Foam T-shirt bra 36DD Red $ 78.00 $ 58.50 I find the Nordstrom's receipt a bit frustrating because it doesn't list the bra style number or name nor the manufacturer nor the color. I had to piece together that information by searching by manufacturer and looking at pictures!
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OK, that didn't come through quite right at all. If you read through it I think the only thing that needs explaining are the two different dollar amounts. The first is the regular price and the 2nd is what I actually paid.
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Oh, Sweet, we can be twins! I got the Wacoal Lace Finesse, the Natori Feathers, the Natori Hidden Glamour, and the Chantelle Merci T-Shirt Bra, too! You have excellent taste!
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Cool AZ! I have to give Jo Ann all the credit. That woman knows her bras! I think there was maybe only 1 out of 4 we tried that didn't work for some reason or just didn't make me say 'Ooooohhhh, I LIKE this one too!'.
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Well, I went for a bra fitting at Nordstrom yesterday. I had a wonderful fitter who was very patient, but we didn't have a lot of luck finding much that fit. Almost everything that had a wire that was wide enough for my implant side was too deep in the cup and puckered badly. I am a 34DD or 36D depending on brand and style, but kept running into problems with the cup depth. I also need a wire that is very close in the center or not very high as my breasts are quite close (always have been). In the end, I ended up with a Wacoal non-wired soft cup bra, and did manage to get a good fit on one pretty one, the Chantell Vendome Demi bra in Eden Green (not allowed to wear it yet). It's a pretty fancy bra for a flabby post menopause 62 year old, but I just felt the need for something pretty and it was the only one that fit. I also have the Wacoal Awareness non-wire with the stretchy cups and can't even fill that out completely on my implant side.
I'm only 4 weeks out from my UMX exchange and am really hoping for the "drop and fluff" to give me the projection I need to fill a bra cup. It looks like the projection might be there, but right now it's too high. If not, there may be a revision in my future.
Feeling a bit defeated on the bra hunting.
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I had the same experience. Tried on a zillion bras at Nordstroms and at a mastectomy shop, but not one fit. They all felt too confining and always ended up with those little puckers in the end. I'm back to wearing sports bras and camisoles. I'm fine with that - I guess I'm spoiled by the comfy fit. Oh well...
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Don't give up!
It often takes more than one try, more than one store, more than one fitter to search what works for you. I've had good fitters and not so good fitters. I've been to stores that had several bras in my size, others not so much.
Don't give up!
Know too that as we have to adjust emotionally to our new bodies, that bras are not going to fit us the same now. Depending on the style, the brand of the bra …. you will find a particular style/brand that works best with your body … but we don't have an areoloa complex now with our reconstructed breasts. I don't have ONE bra that is unlined that doesn't pucker at least a little bit in the tip of the cup and I have several bras.
Can you find a bra that supports the implants, completely encapsulates them without impinging on them … THAT is the thing that is important now. Most of us don't have the projection with our reconstructed breasts that we had with our natural breasts. I know I don't. After months of searching and returning many, many bras I've been able to find a bra that is comfortable, supports my implants but even those pucker a little bit in the cup. My lined bras … you don't notice it.
Keep hunting, ladies … don't give up. Finding a bra that works for you is a little like finding a fabulous pair of blue jeans … it takes some time, patience and a lot of trying on. DON'T GIVE UP!
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I do have to say that I think I was very, very fortunate in having so much success on my first bra shopping excursion. I had previously made up my mind that I was going to live with the Bali stretchy things and not waste my time shopping for underwires until I could get to Nordstrom's. Just didn't want to deal with the frustration of trying on and putting back, trying on and putting back. Having the fitter just bring me stuff was awesome! I think 5 or 6 of the eight I got are lightly lined but the other 2 or 3 are not lined at all and I have no missing-nip puckers. I've been following this thread for a long time so I know I've been luckier than many. It was so nice to find pretty, sexy, colorful underwires that work for me after nearly 2 years of stretch bras. I'm tickled pink. Hang in there and try not to get too down - once you find something that does work try to get it in every color they have!
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