Bras 101: The Great Post-Exchange Debate
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Good morning,ladies. I am back to report after having flap nipple reconstruction yesterday. I must admit that even without anesthesia, it was almost a pleasureable experience. The doctor, his assistant and I conversed throughout the 2-hour long procedure, painlessly! I was pretty impressed from what I could see of my new nips. After nipple protectors were placed and then gauze applied over them with tape, I was told to keep the area clean and dry for 48 hours and then could shower. He said bleeding would occur. Well, do I clean the area sooner than the 48 hours or just wait?I can see quite a bit of blood under the bandages. I am confused because I don't look clean and it can't be too dry in there. The worst part is that I was instructed not to wear a bra for 3 weeks!!!!!!I was dumbfounded. I told the doctor I wear a bra 24/7 for support because these style 45 650 cc's are heavy! He said some women wear a nursing bra during this time just to cover the protrusion of the nipple protectors. HELP! I have 2 weeks of school left with hormonal 7th graders and I look like Madonna on one of her bustier tours!
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Cleo: No cleaning of the site until you can take a shower! I wasn't allowed to get mine wet for over a week, but I also had an areola done at the same time. You don't want to wear anything that can put pressure on the new nipple or it can unravel before it is healed and come undone just like a corkscrew pigtail from what my PS told me! A non-padded bra with very loose straps and ruffles and scarves would work--you want to wear nothing that pushes on the new nipple. Hope this helps!
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hmmm interesting, this nipple discussion... I'd be tempted to buy a cheap bra and cut giant openings in it, for the new nipples. And then of course I'd have to somehow protect the nipples, but I agree with you Cleo, support isn't optional!
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I have nipple phobia! Props to all you girls going through it! ;-)
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Don't be scared of nips! I almost didn't do it ... was scared it would mess up my new foobs ... but I am sooooo glad I did it. It made me feel almost physically whole again! Don't be scared!
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Double Ditto to what Dawne-Hope said!!! They are ABSOLUTELY worth every moment of hassle!!
Now, that being said, we need to help you, dear Cleo! As MBJ said, DO NOT try to clean anything yet. Wait til the approved shower time. I know the bandages look gnarly, but that's okay for now. When you can shower, just be VERY gentle and don't scrub the dried blood off; let the water do it. Obviously your PS isn't a bra-doc, or he'd be singing a different tune. Although I didn't have the nip protectors - are they plastic, btw? - you should be able to loosen your bra straps a good bit so that you have support from the band and straps (and hopefully underwire), but don't have any tension in the cups so as not to smooth the new nips. Believe me, I've mothered two boys who were once 7th graders, so I totally get your worries! Even with just the gauze doughnuts that I had, I still looked unnatural. To finish out school, stick with blouses rather than t-shirts, then add a top layer of light jacket or sweater - something that will loosely cover the foob enough to conceal their shape. Even one of those long, drapey scarves that are so popular now would work if it's big enough. Hope that helps!
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Great news, Joan! Let us know when you get to go shopping.....it's the next best thing to being there with you! (Which incidently we DID do at last year's Ta Ta Sisterhood reunion and had a blast!)
Firedancer - Sunscreen is really about all you can do for any exposed areas. I just got back from a couple hours at the pool (my reading time
), and I use the Neutrogena Sensitive Skin Sunblock Lotion with SPF 60+ on any exposed foob skin. It's designed for faces, so is really gentle. This one uses natural sunscreen ingredients (as opposed to chemicals like avo- and oxy-benzone), so it's preferable to me. Sheila - hang in there, sweetie! And as for the pic forum, believe me, that place is a true blessing! It is absolutely NOT about competition of any kind! Honestly, you will find nothing but validation, encouragement, support if you choose to share there, but that has to be your choice. I guess we all have to remember that there are many variables in the reconstruction process; consequently, despite our best efforts, as well as those of our PS's, there are many opportunities for the results to be less than ideal. It's just all part of the crappy deal we were dealt......
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So.......I finally had time to take some pics of my new bras and will post on Lilah's thread. Here's a quick synopsis:
Freya "Eloise" Underwire Plunge #AA4951 - LOVE IT!! Fits just like my old Freya favorite, "Eleanor," which I think is being phased out. I certainly didn't NEED this bra, as I already have more than enough sheer mesh Freyas, but this one just made me HAPPY!
Panache "Porcelain Lace" T-Shirt Underwire #5726 - LOVE IT, too! Another "Happy" bra! And a girl's gotta have a red bra, right? (I know Deliahbear agrees!) As for size, I already have two plain Panache Porcelain bras, and I followed the fitter's recommendations on herroom.com about going up a cup size. Although they fit, they just felt like more bra than I really needed, so I went with my regular cup size this time. It's definitely "on the edge" of not fitting, not in the wire, but more in the upper cup edge, so I'm frankly right between sizes. I think I'll keep this one, but will try it on again just to make sure.
Chantelle "Pure" Full Coverage T-Shirt Underwire #3616 - No go. Just goes to show you that fit isn't consistent between styles with the same manufacturer. I love my Chantelle C-Chic T-shirt bras. The wire on this one was much wider, but the actual cup no bigger. Consequently, I completely filled out the cup - so couldn't go smaller - but the lateral edge of the wire was well away from my implants, thus limiting lateral support, which for me, is absolutely essential.
Fantasie "Smoothing Balcony" Underwire #4520 - I already own this bra in my regular size, but the cups tend to wrinkle, even after fully adjusting the girls in their wires. I thought perhaps I needed a smaller cup size, but clearly not. You can see in the pics how a TOO SMALL underwire bra looks. I truly prefer an unlined bra - which this is - and need a nude one to wear under white tops, which is why I was drawn to this bra. I think it's just not great for those of us w/o natural nipple-areola complexes; without that extra bit of projection/roundness, the bra just wrinkles. Boo...
I'm headed to the pic forum to post now........
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So, so funny, Val! You have tried some that I've thought about. Thanks for posting.
I too bought the Eloise and to me, it felt different than the other Freya's. I decided to keep it and am wearing it today but the middle comes up higher on me than the others. Glad you like it! I bought the new Freya "Alexa" and love it!
I saw that red Porcelain Lace on sale and thought about it ... maybe I should!
The Chantelle T-shirt bra is also one that I've looked at but wasn't sure. You're the leader ... thanks for keeping us posted!
What would we do without you? 
I wanna see what the Eloise looks like on you ... I posted a pic with it in the pic forum... is it too small for me? What's wrong with it?
Thanks, Val!
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Hello ladies,
Just had my revisions done on Wednesday.. I know I am a bit swollen but so so happy with the results/ My PS didn't change the implants just tightened the pockets an lifted them up a bit. They really look great. On Friday I was allowed to take the bandaging off and shower.. After my shower I noticed a little bit of blood and some clear fluid seeping out of my incisions.. I called the doctor and was told to purchase steri-strips and to put them over the incisions. So far so good. These strips are staying until I am confident that the incision is pretty muched closed. It's a good thing that the strips are waterproof.
I went to Wal-mart and just bought a few cheap sport bras. I am wearing 2 at a time for extra support. They are 100% cotton and very comfortable. I plan to purchase like 10 more just to have enough for the whole week. They only cost 10.00 for 2.. Not bad for a throw away bra.. I also purchased a danskin that zippers in the front but I haven't tried it yet.. I will keep you all posted. Note all 3 bras have some type of closure so I don't feel like I am trying to get out of a straight jacket while putting it on..
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One of the things I've noticed about my nipples (had nipple sparing BMX) is that in the sports bras, they get really squashed and create an indent in my areola. The nipples don't seem to act the same as they did before, I'm guessing because they're essentially hollow. They do poke out, even when it's not cold, but they feel squishier and kind of weird. Anyway, I've been worried about losing that pokiness that make my nipples "me" so I just cut holes in a sports bra for my nipples to poke through, that way I give the rest of the boobs the support they need, without causing possible permanent flatness to the nipples. And my BF likes it when the "headlights" are on, though he totally laughed when he saw what I did. Doh, why didn't I do that sooner! (Thanks for the tip, in regards to nipple healing on the exchange thread.)0
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Hi, all. I've been swamped with work but am stealing a few minutes to drop in. I finally reached the magic day post-exchange where I could give up the sports bra/supportive bra from the PS, and wear a normal bra. Off to Nordstrom's I went.
Silly me... for some reason I expected the Nordstrom bra fairy was going to find me the perfect bra and make me happy! Instead, there were only a couple of styles that fit some of the requirements, and none that solved all my problems. The fitter measured me as a 32D, but they have only a couple of bras in that size that don't have underwire. They didn't look great on me. And none of them have enough padding to hide my one-sided nipple show-through (which was always very tough to hide -- only one bra I ever found pre-mx did the trick). All the bras produced the "back fat" effect. And they were $50-$70 -- yikes! If I have to spend that much, I want the perfect bra; I don't want something that is maybe the right size but doesn't do everything else I need it to do (support, flatter, hide what needs to be hidden).
In the end, all I found instead is that I am still lopsided; my mx side doesn't fill out the cup as the natural augmented side does. Yes, I understand I won't have the projection on the mx side, but it feels like there's more to it than that. And once again I question whether I shouldn't have just gone for the BMX to begin with...it's a lose-lose situation. It's as if I'm taking off that bandage for the first time after surgery all over again -- just feeling crushed and dismayed and tearful. I hope this feeling will pass.
I ended up at JC Penney, where the fitter pronounced me a 34A. I couldn't stop myself from laughing when she said that. I agreed to try it on just to prove her wrong -- and in fact I did spill out both sides of that thing. They didn't even have a 32D, so I ended up buying a 34C Warner's wireless bra (50% off, plus $5 off for being fitted, total cost $11.99!), just so I'll have something to tide me over till I figure out what to do next.
I feel like I need days and days to study up on this thread and figure out what my options are and learn from everyone else's experience. But I just don't have time right now. Work and life are consuming my time and I'm traveling again next week, after just coming back from a trip last week. I love the travel but I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with everything I have going on .
The good news is I can run again. Did a few miles a couple of times in the past week, and ran a 10K yesterday, my first race post-chemo and recon. Marathon is three months away -- which is really not enough time to train, but I'm going to try to take it easy.
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Kitty how depressing. I know what you mean to "wait" for the day to get the perfect bra and it just doesn't happen. I've had many of those days! I just had revisions for the second time last week. I purchased cheaper cotton bra for 17.00 and got home and it was too big! I believe
I am a true c cup! When I used the sizing calculator on herroom.com it tells me I am a G cup which I certainly would never fit in. I think we are better off trying on multiple size bra and decide for ourselves what size we truly are...
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Thank you, MBJ and Val for great advice. Last night I took one of my fiona comfort sports bras, the one with underwire which I find uncomfortable to sleep in, and removed the center section. Although I mulilated a great bra I can wear it hopefully for the next 3 weeks. It gives me great support and hopefully no pressure on the new nips. Yes, Val, the protectors are clear plastic and once taped on make me look like I'm wearing one of Madonna's very pointy bustiers! The scarf idea is a great one and I went out yesterday and bought a few loose fitting and puckered sundresses. I will survive this! Let me know what you think of my bra alteration. Do you think my PS would approve? Cleo
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citykitty - I wrote a lengthy response on "Exchange City." I won't repeat much of what I said there ... but check out MBJ's thread on the pic forum ... she's gone through what you're going through right now. 34A is a such a joke! Do you have any specialty bra shop or masectomy stores near you? After a very disappointing initial fitting at Nordstroms I went to a specialty bra shop and had the kindest lady help me and she measured me correctly and put me in some beautiful bras. Don't give up! 32D ... you can order them on online. The Freya Pollyanna on the herroom website is one that's difficult to go wrong ... and the Bendon-Max out on that site is a great work-out/running bra. Once I knew generally what my size was ... I bought bras like crazy on line and for the first time in my life ... didn't feel guilty about returning them if they didn't work. I returned soooo many!!!!
Herroom, barcenessities (the sites listed in the header to this thread) are great about accepting returns. Check out the bra thread on the pic forum ... especially posts by Val because she shows what you need and what won't work. You're tiny, like her, and what works for her will likely work for you too. Don't give up!!!
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citykitty: Being a Uni I find I need a bit of padding to compensate for the lack of nip/areola projection. I had the most luck with VS wireless bras I purchased on line. Although I have one that's too big, the Wireless Body by VS and the Push Up Wireless still fit, are comfortable and they even me up. Ultimately, you may need some fat grafting to even up the top step off, if you have it like I did. Only when I flex my muscles or bend over do I truly notice the difference--Also, my MX side is slightly smaller which is not obvious when wearing a slightly padded or a push up bra. They look fine when I am naked but only myself and my DH see them like this, lol. give it 3-4 months for the drop and fluff and also the swelling to go down. The blues will pass, I promise!
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((((((citykitty)))))) - Please do not dismay, sweetie! Believe me, most of us have been exactly where you are.....overwhelmed, disappointed, and just plain sad. Heck, I still have days like that and I'm over a year and a half after exchange! You know what's exciting, though? That you're getting out there and running again despite it all! You go, girl! Exercise was a HUGE part of my recovery, and truly did save both my body and my sanity, so I feel like I can relate. I have no doubt that you'll absolutely make it to that marathon!
Now for your bra issue. Listen to MBJ, as she's one of our expert uni's; Lilah's another one. The padded bra (lightly) is a great idea. There's a Warner's "Elements of Bliss" wireless bra (style #2003) that's available lots of places - Macy's, Kohl's. This may be the bra you got at Penney's, too. Warner's doesn't come in 32, but if you think you're a 32D, then you can wear a 34C in that; just wear it as snug as possible. You can even take seams in it, if necessary (I've done that). It sounds like we're similarly sized, so feel free to PM me if you want me to help with sizing. AsDawne-Hope suggested, too, a small bra boutique is often a great way to go. I went to one when I was out of town and got amazing service - and three great bras!
jkz - What a great idea - just double those babies up! Sounds like you're feeling pretty good, though, which is wonderful. The steristrips are great and will stay on for a long while. My PS put them on when he took out the sutures, and I swear a few of them stayed on for well over a month!
joan - How creative are you?! Gotta keep everybody happy......foobs and the bf!
cleo - Another creative soul! This must be "destroy a bra" weekend! Frankly, it's not a bad idea, really. Interesting about the plastic protectors........my PS was adamant that the new nips "breathe" and have no moisture at all (thus his no sweat/no workout rule til the sutures came out). Plastic would do just the opposite. Just another example of how different PS styles and procedures can be! Hang in there with those hormonal middle schoolers!!
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Hi Val and ladies- Wonder if you have andvice for me.. I was wearing a 36C even though I have been measured several times as a 34D. So I finally brought a couple of good bras in 34D. They hold the implants in place very well but the problem is the band feels so tight! I'm not used to it being so tight and it is iritating me so much. My rib cage is a little under 30" so I know I should be in a 34, but just wondering does it get better? I know the 36C feels better but is not giving me the support I need. The only thing I notice is when I take the bras off which are underwire it leaves marks on the side and under my breasts where the wires sit. Is this ok? I prefer underwires to wireless and a demi style as I need the "push up" affect because of a lot of rippling and not enough upper pole.
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sweetie - my ribcage is 28 and in most bras I wear a 30 band. Yes, it's tight but you do get used to it. I have marks too after wearing them but they fade pretty quickly. I think it's normal. It's a good way to tell if your bra is fitting correctly by seeing where the lines fall on your body. I have very narrow shoulders so I have to tighten the straps pretty much all the way which leaves me with a push-up effect too. I know what you mean by not enough upper pole ... I have a pretty good step off. This is just my opinion and my experience. We'll see what the others have to say...
[[hugs]]
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Thanks Val. I have to say I do feel really good with NO pain meds.. I honestly don't like taking prescriptions pain killers. The anti-biotic is enough for me!
Sweetie I also measure as a different size then I actually buy. I measure as a 34D but prefer the 36C also. I am all about comfort and good support!
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Hey bra loving buddies!
I'm looking for a new sleep bra and stumbled upon this great deal ... there are only a couple of sizes left ... 36 and 38 band sizes ... only $19.99. It looks like it would be a great sleep bra! Thought I'd share because it is such a great deal!
http://www.herroom.com/annette-10579-front-clasp-soft-cup-bra.shtml
edited to add: It would also be a great post-exchange bra.
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jkz, Dawne-Hope, Val, & MBJ -- Thanks so much for the tips and encouraging words. I will be coming back to follow up on your suggestions. I'm heading out of town for work this week; not much time to work on bra shopping.
I'm just so disappointed. For the past six weeks I've had to struggle to find tops in my closet that work with my sports bras or the bras the PS gave me. Finding the right necklines and looser tops has been a pain in the neck. I thought I would be done with that once I could ditch the sports bras. But it seems I'm in "wardrobe distress" mode for a little while longer. Very stressful because I have to make a TV appearance this week and have NO idea what I'm going to wear, but I guess I'll figure it out. Let's hope!
Hugs to all of you!!!
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This may have been covered already, I did not read all 75 posts. I wash my bras by hand. Is there a correct way to do this? What soap should I be using?
My PS said I should wear underwire fitted by a pro during the day, and a bra without underwires at bedtime. This will help fight the wonderful, natural gravity pull that catches up with all of us.
Everyone has given such good advice! Thanks to everyone!
Agada
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Dawne-hope-thanks for the answer. I also forgot to add although I'm a pretty normal weight with the tighter band it is giving me back fat! Ugggg! The little rolls near the band on the back look horrible so that is really bugging me too. I don't get that in the 36 band but do know it's probably not the right size. Does the band stretch a little in time elimating the lines?
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Sweetie: I have found that different bras fit differently-not all 34's are too tight! It can even sometimes differ from style to style within the same brand. I was wearing 36Bs prior to BC and I was probably wearing the wrong size. Some of the Warner's bras with wider bands are good fro eliminating back fat, but I don't get as good of a fit from them and...I wear a 36C and in everything else I wear a 34DD. The 34's will stretch out with wear and then it won't be such an issue.
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MBJ-thanks. The 34D does fit nice in the front, I just didn't like the back fat. They are both from V/S and one is a dream angels and it is really nice and soft and comfy. I think I'll hold on to them and see if they stretch out like you said. Otherwise if I get the 36C they will stretch and be too loose. I'm off to Kohls to see what I can find in their bra section, although I never see a lot of 34D's there.
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Dawn the bra looked great but unfortunately I need a C cup and they only had b available.
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jkz - grrrr! I've found that in those kind of bras I usually need to go down a cup to get the support I need and keep the girls up and in but it is risky because you really don't know until you try it on ... and I don't think you can return it because it's already discounted so low. Disappointing!
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Sweetie: I have the dream angels and they give good lift up in front--I also like their padded push up t-shirt bras. Very soft and flattering. They seem to run bigger in the band size--a 36 is huge in comparision. Have you tried their new one? I think it's the Miraculous Bra--it has just a smooth, stretchy band in back and hooks in front. It didn't fit me, but I like the idea of it and I am betting no fat back in that one.
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Sweetie - Welcome!! Interestingly, I addressed your very issue just last week, when someone was complaining about the dreaded back fat. My response: "Screw the back fat! Your foobs are more important right now!" (or something like that....
) Yes, the bands are tight. If you were to go back on Exchange City right after I had my exchange, you'd hear me complaining til the cows came home! No way could I stand it! It probably took a good 2-3 weeks......I know, sounds like forever.....but then one day I realized I wasn't uncomfortable anymore! From that day forward, I've embraced the tight band for what it does best - really support the foobs! Now.....stepping onto my soapbox.....I'm just gonna say that with a ribcage measurement of just under 30", you REALLY could be wearing a 32 band!!! Put away those 36's!! If you can slide more than one finger between your back and the band, it's too loose......again, I know...... My ribcage measure 27 1/2", and I wear a 30 band. So......please at least TRY to wear those 34D's, and maybe go try on a 32DD just to see......Chantelle bands run on the generous side, as do Natori's, so they're a good place to start. Hope I don't sound too preachy........if so, please forgive me.....I'm just a bra zealot!
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